1
00:00:24,985 --> 00:00:27,154
(POP MUSIC PLAYING
ON HEADPHONES)
2
00:00:37,915 --> 00:00:39,416
(LIP-SYNCING)
3
00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:02,898
(SINGING)
4
00:01:25,754 --> 00:01:27,339
(SOFT CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
5
00:01:33,679 --> 00:01:35,514
(MACHINES BEEPING)
6
00:02:07,045 --> 00:02:08,422
(MONKEYS CHITTERING)
7
00:02:09,006 --> 00:02:10,507
(LOUDLY) Mind if I do a quick mop?
8
00:02:10,674 --> 00:02:12,009
You're shouting.
9
00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:13,176
What?
10
00:02:17,347 --> 00:02:19,182
- I can come back later.
- No, it's fine.
11
00:02:20,017 --> 00:02:21,601
Just don't touch anything.
12
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:25,397
(MOCKING) "Just don't touch anything."
13
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:26,523
Dickbreath.
14
00:02:28,692 --> 00:02:30,360
You want a Tic Tac?
15
00:02:30,444 --> 00:02:31,484
- (JINGLING)
- (SCREECHING)
16
00:02:32,446 --> 00:02:34,781
All right. I'll take that as a no.
17
00:02:46,001 --> 00:02:47,002
(WHIRRING)
18
00:02:50,547 --> 00:02:51,882
(SOFTLY) Oh. Come on.
19
00:02:53,967 --> 00:02:55,552
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
20
00:03:18,283 --> 00:03:19,284
Oh...
21
00:03:20,827 --> 00:03:23,747
What the hell happened to you, dude?
22
00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:35,175
Dod? What the fuck
kind of name is Dod?
23
00:03:36,051 --> 00:03:38,095
- (GASPS) Oh!
- (CLATTERING)
24
00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:45,352
Go, go, go, go, go.
25
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,522
Come on!
26
00:03:48,647 --> 00:03:49,856
(MONITOR BEEPING)
27
00:03:53,110 --> 00:03:55,529
No! Oh, no, no, no. Reset, reset.
28
00:03:56,113 --> 00:03:58,115
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
29
00:03:58,448 --> 00:04:00,117
Dod! Come on!
30
00:04:01,451 --> 00:04:04,204
Clear! Accept! Accept the motherfucker!
31
00:04:04,788 --> 00:04:06,540
Shit. Okay. All right.
32
00:04:06,957 --> 00:04:07,958
Um...
33
00:04:08,959 --> 00:04:10,961
I'll do CPR. Yeah.
34
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:16,299
(GRUNTING)
35
00:04:19,845 --> 00:04:23,181
- All right! Some Takis Fuego.
- (KEYS BEEPING)
36
00:04:27,185 --> 00:04:28,228
Come on!
37
00:04:28,478 --> 00:04:29,688
(GRUNTING CONTINUES)
38
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,315
Come on, breathe, dude!
39
00:04:35,735 --> 00:04:36,778
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
40
00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:39,197
Oh, shit! Oh, hell, no.
41
00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:42,909
Okay. All right. All right. Come on, Dod.
42
00:04:42,993 --> 00:04:44,286
Come on. We got this.
43
00:04:52,043 --> 00:04:53,837
Please, come on, Dod! (PANTING)
44
00:04:54,504 --> 00:04:55,505
One, one thousand!
45
00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:56,882
Two, one thousand!
46
00:04:57,966 --> 00:04:58,967
Ah!
47
00:05:00,010 --> 00:05:01,303
(SCREAMING)
48
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:04,347
(GROWLING)
49
00:05:12,397 --> 00:05:13,398
(GRUNTING)
50
00:05:15,108 --> 00:05:16,109
(SNARLING)
51
00:05:20,197 --> 00:05:21,198
No, no, no!
52
00:05:22,407 --> 00:05:23,700
No, no, no!
53
00:05:23,783 --> 00:05:24,784
(SHOUTING)
54
00:05:26,870 --> 00:05:27,871
Come on.
55
00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:32,083
Ah!
56
00:05:33,835 --> 00:05:34,836
(GLASS SHATTERING)
57
00:05:47,474 --> 00:05:48,475
- (INAUDIBLE)
- (BANGING)
58
00:05:51,561 --> 00:05:53,563
You are kidding me.
59
00:06:05,242 --> 00:06:06,743
Oh, crap.
60
00:06:22,592 --> 00:06:23,593
Why?
61
00:06:33,562 --> 00:06:34,563
- (GROWLING)
- (SCREAMING)
62
00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:54,890
ROGERS: You know
what's cooler than cool?
63
00:06:55,125 --> 00:06:56,459
ALL: Scouting!
64
00:06:56,626 --> 00:06:57,627
ROGERS: Action!
65
00:06:57,794 --> 00:07:00,380
Hi, there, guys.
My name is Scout Leader Rogers.
66
00:07:00,630 --> 00:07:04,551
And I'm here to show you
what scouting is all about. Come...
67
00:07:04,801 --> 00:07:07,804
Being a Scout is about
the bonds of friendship.
68
00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:11,140
Check it out!
69
00:07:11,182 --> 00:07:15,186
These Scouts are on their way
to earning a Bow and Arrow Badge!
70
00:07:15,895 --> 00:07:19,649
Badges are the Scouts'
highest symbol of achievement.
71
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:23,486
Scouts can earn all sorts of badges.
72
00:07:25,322 --> 00:07:27,490
What's cooler than cool?
73
00:07:27,824 --> 00:07:29,492
ALL: Scouting!
74
00:07:31,995 --> 00:07:36,333
All right, are you in or are you in?
75
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,503
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
76
00:07:43,340 --> 00:07:45,180
Hey, listen, there's free
cookies every Friday.
77
00:07:45,342 --> 00:07:47,844
We do sing-alongs on Saturdays.
78
00:07:48,178 --> 00:07:49,846
It looks great on a college application!
79
00:07:51,181 --> 00:07:53,433
(CHUCKLING) I love this tragic ritual.
80
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:55,769
Someone's gonna sign up, guys!
81
00:07:55,852 --> 00:07:57,020
We have to keep trying!
82
00:07:57,354 --> 00:07:59,648
Augie, a unicorn's
gonna fly out of your ass
83
00:07:59,731 --> 00:08:01,024
before somebody joins.
84
00:08:01,107 --> 00:08:02,942
Carter! Language.
85
00:08:03,026 --> 00:08:04,402
Yeah, he's right.
Nobody's ever gonna sign up.
86
00:08:04,486 --> 00:08:05,779
It's just a waste of time.
87
00:08:05,862 --> 00:08:08,406
Ye of little faith.
Where's that Scout spirit?
88
00:08:08,865 --> 00:08:10,992
Look, guys, we're not gonna
quit trying just because
89
00:08:11,076 --> 00:08:13,161
we lost a couple hours
sitting around on our butts
90
00:08:13,244 --> 00:08:14,454
with nothing to show for it.
91
00:08:14,996 --> 00:08:17,082
I mean, some people
spend their entire lives
92
00:08:17,165 --> 00:08:19,292
and have nothing to show for it.
93
00:08:22,087 --> 00:08:23,296
Well...
94
00:08:23,505 --> 00:08:25,924
I think we all know
it's Augie's special night.
95
00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:27,759
(CHEERING)
96
00:08:28,802 --> 00:08:31,346
After years of hard work and dedication,
97
00:08:31,429 --> 00:08:34,641
he will receive the highest
honor of a Scout,
98
00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:36,059
the Condor Badge,
99
00:08:36,393 --> 00:08:38,395
in a ceremony at tonight's campout.
100
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,563
Okay. (CLEARS THROAT) Let's see.
101
00:08:40,647 --> 00:08:42,315
Latrine duty: Carter.
102
00:08:42,399 --> 00:08:44,192
No! No, no, no, no.
I always dig the shitter.
103
00:08:44,275 --> 00:08:45,755
It's called a latrine, not a shitter.
104
00:08:46,444 --> 00:08:48,196
All right, Ben, you're on wiener duty.
105
00:08:48,405 --> 00:08:50,407
- (GRUNTING)
- That's enough.
106
00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:53,326
Carter, nobody eats a hot dog like this.
107
00:08:53,410 --> 00:08:54,411
(GRUNTING)
108
00:08:55,245 --> 00:08:58,081
All right. Ben, why don't you
lead us in the Scout Oath?
109
00:08:58,498 --> 00:09:00,041
- Come on.
- All right.
110
00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:04,337
ALL: This do I swear:
111
00:09:04,754 --> 00:09:07,090
To live courageously,
112
00:09:07,173 --> 00:09:09,050
to help others when I can,
113
00:09:09,134 --> 00:09:12,846
defend what I must, so help me God.
114
00:09:12,929 --> 00:09:14,431
Scouts forever!
115
00:09:14,514 --> 00:09:15,849
Scouts forever!
116
00:09:16,099 --> 00:09:17,600
Scouts forever.
117
00:09:18,268 --> 00:09:19,686
Scouts forever.
118
00:09:19,853 --> 00:09:21,354
ALL: Forever!
119
00:09:21,438 --> 00:09:22,939
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
120
00:09:25,942 --> 00:09:27,569
Ben, we have to tell Augie.
121
00:09:27,652 --> 00:09:29,028
- I know. I know.
- We're ditching Scouts.
122
00:09:29,112 --> 00:09:30,155
Yeah, we'll tell him.
123
00:09:30,238 --> 00:09:31,364
We've been talking
about it for over a year.
124
00:09:31,448 --> 00:09:33,199
I know.
We just have to find the right time.
125
00:09:33,283 --> 00:09:34,784
Okay, we'll do it tonight, then.
126
00:09:34,868 --> 00:09:36,786
No, we can't tell him tonight.
He's getting his Condor Badge.
127
00:09:37,036 --> 00:09:39,706
He's been working toward this
ever since he joined Scouts.
128
00:09:39,873 --> 00:09:41,458
You know how much it means to him.
129
00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:44,377
Especially since his dad can't be there.
130
00:09:45,712 --> 00:09:47,255
It's been two years, Ben.
131
00:09:47,338 --> 00:09:50,800
We can't just stay in Scouts
because we feel sorry for him.
132
00:09:50,884 --> 00:09:52,761
Come on, that's not the only
reason we're staying in Scouts.
133
00:09:52,844 --> 00:09:53,887
Come on, you've had fun.
134
00:09:53,970 --> 00:09:56,765
Had fun, okay? Past tense. Had.
135
00:09:56,848 --> 00:09:59,642
And now I am ready to move on.
I mean, you realize
136
00:09:59,726 --> 00:10:01,561
it's gonna be junior year next year.
137
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,605
I mean, you know
what that means, right?
138
00:10:03,688 --> 00:10:05,064
We start thinking about college.
139
00:10:05,148 --> 00:10:08,067
We start thinking about pussy, Ben!
140
00:10:08,151 --> 00:10:10,904
Come on. Junior year is when
all the girls become sluts.
141
00:10:10,987 --> 00:10:11,988
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
142
00:10:12,071 --> 00:10:14,991
And if we're sitting here
in these Scout uniforms,
143
00:10:15,074 --> 00:10:17,327
it's gonna be
the male version of a chastity belt, Ben.
144
00:10:17,911 --> 00:10:19,162
(BOTH SHOUTING)
145
00:10:22,916 --> 00:10:24,334
Oh, shit. Shit. (PANTING)
146
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:26,711
What the fuck was that?
147
00:10:27,337 --> 00:10:29,422
Holy shit. Oh, my God.
148
00:10:34,761 --> 00:10:35,762
Oh, shit.
149
00:10:35,845 --> 00:10:37,806
Dude, that scared the shit out of me.
150
00:10:37,889 --> 00:10:39,432
Yeah, me, too.
151
00:10:39,516 --> 00:10:41,518
No, like, literally,
a little shit came out.
152
00:10:41,601 --> 00:10:42,936
Dude, stop.
153
00:10:46,356 --> 00:10:48,358
Jesus Christ. You hood-fucked Bambi.
154
00:10:48,441 --> 00:10:50,276
I didn't mean to!
It wasn't my fault, Carter!
155
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,861
It was just standing there!
156
00:10:58,827 --> 00:10:59,828
(PHONE CAMERA CLICKING)
157
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,542
Oh, shit.
158
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:07,377
Oh. Damn it.
159
00:11:07,877 --> 00:11:10,129
Great. Just awesome.
160
00:11:11,381 --> 00:11:13,633
Is that a spare for your bike or the car?
161
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:16,553
Shit. My dad's gonna be so pissed.
162
00:11:17,554 --> 00:11:18,888
Carter, where are the other lug nuts?
163
00:11:18,972 --> 00:11:20,807
How should I know?
I've been sitting here doing nothing.
164
00:11:20,890 --> 00:11:22,225
Yeah. I noticed.
165
00:11:24,894 --> 00:11:26,646
Oh. Dude, that's my sister.
166
00:11:27,564 --> 00:11:29,148
Kendall! Kendall!
167
00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:31,484
Hey!
168
00:11:34,612 --> 00:11:35,613
Hey.
169
00:11:36,239 --> 00:11:38,157
Can you help us?
170
00:11:39,450 --> 00:11:41,452
(ROMANTIC POP MUSIC PLAYING)
171
00:11:56,384 --> 00:11:57,385
- JEFF: Catch!
- Ow!
172
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:58,845
- KENDALL: Jeff!
- What?
173
00:11:58,928 --> 00:12:00,013
I said, "Catch."
174
00:12:00,096 --> 00:12:01,514
I thought he had it.
175
00:12:01,598 --> 00:12:03,850
- Sorry, bro. It's my bad.
- Yeah.
176
00:12:03,933 --> 00:12:06,102
Are you guys okay?
I mean, what happened?
177
00:12:06,185 --> 00:12:08,855
We hit a white-tailed deer. It was huge.
178
00:12:08,938 --> 00:12:10,773
Yeah. We were just driving,
and then it was like, boom!
179
00:12:10,857 --> 00:12:13,192
You guys hit a deer? That's awesome.
180
00:12:13,276 --> 00:12:15,612
Nope, not awesome. Are you kidding?
181
00:12:15,695 --> 00:12:17,447
Nothing awesome about it.
Look at my car.
182
00:12:17,614 --> 00:12:18,615
(CLEARS THROAT)
183
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:21,868
What's up, Chloe?
184
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:24,370
- Hey...
- Hey.
185
00:12:24,454 --> 00:12:26,039
- Carter.
- Carter!
186
00:12:26,122 --> 00:12:28,708
Yeah. I sit behind you in Spanish class.
187
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:30,627
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
188
00:12:30,752 --> 00:12:31,753
Oh, gracias.
189
00:12:32,545 --> 00:12:34,464
So, I'm really down with this
190
00:12:34,589 --> 00:12:36,049
whole little Scout uniform
you guys got going.
191
00:12:36,132 --> 00:12:37,342
All these little patches and stuff.
192
00:12:37,425 --> 00:12:40,094
Actually, Ben and Carter have been
193
00:12:40,178 --> 00:12:42,472
Scouts together since, what,
you were like six, right?
194
00:12:42,555 --> 00:12:44,849
- Yeah, yeah. A long time.
- That's awesome, man.
195
00:12:44,933 --> 00:12:46,559
Ben's like my little brother.
196
00:12:46,643 --> 00:12:48,478
Yep. That's me. Little brother Ben.
197
00:12:48,561 --> 00:12:49,896
CHLOE: Hey, Jeff!
198
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,573
All right, well.
Sorry about that face again.
199
00:12:54,984 --> 00:12:57,320
Hey, are you going to the party tonight?
200
00:12:57,403 --> 00:12:58,404
What's up?
201
00:12:58,488 --> 00:13:02,325
Yo! Aber-blow-me and Bitch, man.
What's up? Hey.
202
00:13:02,408 --> 00:13:03,493
Always coming up with good ones.
203
00:13:03,576 --> 00:13:05,912
Listen, I was just talking
to Carver here, and...
204
00:13:05,995 --> 00:13:07,080
Carter.
205
00:13:07,163 --> 00:13:09,290
- I came up with a great idea.
- Really?
206
00:13:09,374 --> 00:13:10,583
Hit me. What do we have?
207
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:12,335
How'd recruiting go?
208
00:13:12,418 --> 00:13:15,588
Oh, the usual. Yeah, no one joined.
209
00:13:15,672 --> 00:13:17,090
I think it's just a big joke at this point.
210
00:13:17,173 --> 00:13:18,257
It's not a joke.
211
00:13:18,341 --> 00:13:20,927
I think it's really cool
you guys have stuck with Scouts.
212
00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:23,221
One day you're gonna look back on this
213
00:13:23,304 --> 00:13:25,181
and you're gonna be
really happy you did it.
214
00:13:26,349 --> 00:13:28,017
Okay. Thanks.
215
00:13:30,186 --> 00:13:31,521
(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)
216
00:13:32,355 --> 00:13:35,441
Looks like the deer made out
better than your car.
217
00:13:35,525 --> 00:13:37,777
Yeah. Wait, what? What do you mean?
218
00:13:38,486 --> 00:13:39,988
Well, where is it?
219
00:13:40,071 --> 00:13:41,739
It's right over there.
220
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,644
Holy shit! Holy shit, man!
221
00:14:11,728 --> 00:14:13,229
You dick. What's wrong with you?
222
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:15,815
Dude. Dude, okay. You're never
gonna believe what happened.
223
00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:17,498
Hey, you sure you guys
don't need a ride?
224
00:14:18,276 --> 00:14:19,694
No, we're good.
225
00:14:19,777 --> 00:14:20,820
See you boys tonight.
226
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:22,739
Hey! See you tonight, man!
227
00:14:22,822 --> 00:14:24,991
All right? All right?
228
00:14:26,743 --> 00:14:29,078
Bye, Chloe! Bye!
229
00:14:30,246 --> 00:14:31,686
What are you talking about, tonight?
230
00:14:31,748 --> 00:14:33,499
Dude, you are never going
to guess what happened.
231
00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:36,627
We got invited to the secret
senior party, man. Look.
232
00:14:37,170 --> 00:14:39,422
Who cares? Look, the deer is gone.
What about the deer?
233
00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:40,757
Dude, fuck deers, man!
234
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:44,177
We are going to the secret party, man!
Come on!
235
00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:46,345
(SING-SONG) I'm gonna fuck Chloe.
236
00:14:46,429 --> 00:14:48,598
I'm gonna fuck Chloe.
237
00:14:53,770 --> 00:14:55,438
Ben, come on.
This is the chance of a lifetime.
238
00:14:55,521 --> 00:14:57,315
Okay. I mean,
quit acting like you don't want to go.
239
00:14:57,398 --> 00:14:58,858
BEN: Of course I want to go. I do.
240
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:02,361
But it's Augie's big night.
He's getting his Condor Badge.
241
00:15:02,445 --> 00:15:04,530
We can't miss the ceremony
or he'd never forgive us.
242
00:15:04,614 --> 00:15:06,699
Okay, look, hear me out.
243
00:15:06,783 --> 00:15:08,409
We go to the campout,
244
00:15:08,493 --> 00:15:10,495
and when Augie and Rogers fall asleep,
245
00:15:10,578 --> 00:15:12,288
we will sneak out and go to the party.
246
00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:13,372
(SIGHS) Carter...
247
00:15:13,456 --> 00:15:14,496
We'll be back before dawn,
248
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:16,334
it'll be like we never even left.
249
00:15:17,043 --> 00:15:19,087
I don't know. It just sounds...
250
00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:20,171
Ben.
251
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:23,800
This could be the night of our lives.
252
00:15:24,717 --> 00:15:26,052
Please.
253
00:15:27,011 --> 00:15:28,012
(SIGHS)
254
00:15:28,137 --> 00:15:30,473
All right. I mean, I guess we could try.
255
00:15:32,475 --> 00:15:34,018
- Okay.
- I love you.
256
00:15:34,102 --> 00:15:36,229
You're amazing. Thank you!
257
00:15:36,312 --> 00:15:37,647
Whoa! What the hell?
258
00:15:38,314 --> 00:15:39,816
Hi, Mrs. Fielder. Hi.
259
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:44,904
Your garbage cans were
blocking my driveway again.
260
00:15:45,404 --> 00:15:47,240
Had to move them myself,
261
00:15:47,323 --> 00:15:50,576
which is no easy task
with a herniated disk.
262
00:15:50,660 --> 00:15:51,661
Okay, great.
263
00:15:51,744 --> 00:15:56,249
You tell your father to keep his trash
on his side of the property.
264
00:15:56,833 --> 00:15:59,627
Okay, we'll do that, Mrs. Fielder.
Thank you.
265
00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:03,589
All right, thanks. Yep.
Can you just move right there?
266
00:16:03,673 --> 00:16:05,508
Thank you. Bye!
267
00:16:05,925 --> 00:16:07,343
Jesus Christ.
268
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,679
You old hag! Okay. Thank you.
269
00:16:09,762 --> 00:16:11,097
She is so annoying.
270
00:16:11,514 --> 00:16:14,684
Oh, my God.
Can you imagine living next to that?
271
00:16:14,767 --> 00:16:17,895
BEN: Oh, my God. Dude,
how many cats does she have?
272
00:16:17,979 --> 00:16:20,481
Dude, who knows. She probably rubs
Fancy Feast on her cooch
273
00:16:20,565 --> 00:16:21,941
and lets them all go to town.
274
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,025
- What?
- (SNORTING)
275
00:16:23,109 --> 00:16:26,571
Meet me here at 5:30 and then
we'll go to Camp Womp Womp.
276
00:16:26,654 --> 00:16:28,781
Then we'll go to the party. All right?
277
00:16:28,865 --> 00:16:30,449
- All right? All right.
- All right.
278
00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:31,617
See you soon, man.
279
00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:32,702
All right. See ya.
280
00:16:32,785 --> 00:16:34,120
(WHISTLING)
281
00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:44,046
Oh, litterbugs.
282
00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:45,339
Come on.
283
00:16:49,135 --> 00:16:50,469
Biotine?
284
00:16:52,388 --> 00:16:54,223
How'd you get way out here?
285
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:57,560
Well, Peter Morris, finders keepers.
286
00:16:57,810 --> 00:16:58,811
(WHISTLING)
287
00:16:58,895 --> 00:16:59,896
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
288
00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:04,734
Hello?
289
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,486
(FAINT GRUNTING)
290
00:17:10,406 --> 00:17:11,574
Hello?
291
00:17:16,412 --> 00:17:17,413
(SCREAMS)
292
00:17:20,124 --> 00:17:21,417
(SNARLING)
293
00:17:27,590 --> 00:17:28,716
(SCREECHING)
294
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,761
(WHIMPERING)
295
00:17:36,015 --> 00:17:37,600
What's wrong with you?
296
00:17:38,226 --> 00:17:39,560
You A-wipe!
297
00:17:40,019 --> 00:17:42,355
C-word! All the other words!
298
00:17:43,773 --> 00:17:45,274
Oh, doodle!
299
00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:46,901
That's my lucky knife!
300
00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:06,379
Teach you to mess
with Scout Leader Rogers!
301
00:18:06,879 --> 00:18:07,880
(SCREAMING)
302
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,351
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING
THROUGH SPEAKERS)
303
00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:22,353
BEN: So we're just gonna
walk in there like this.
304
00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:24,355
No I.D.'s, just buy some beer?
305
00:18:24,438 --> 00:18:25,940
Just give me the $20, fool. Come on.
306
00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:27,900
Cough it up.
307
00:18:28,609 --> 00:18:29,944
Any day now. Come on.
308
00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:31,779
Hang on. It's Velcro. It takes a second.
309
00:18:32,488 --> 00:18:33,906
Watch a pro.
310
00:18:38,077 --> 00:18:40,121
Hi, sir. How are you today?
311
00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:41,372
Hey, baby.
312
00:18:42,665 --> 00:18:44,333
Oh, nice. Great plan, Carter.
313
00:18:44,417 --> 00:18:47,253
Just give the money to a drunk bum.
That'll work.
314
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,172
Yeah!
315
00:18:50,256 --> 00:18:52,008
CARTER: Just the cheap stuff.
316
00:18:55,845 --> 00:18:56,846
(SIGHS)
317
00:18:59,348 --> 00:19:00,808
Did you see Officer Hottie?
318
00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:03,227
No. I was too busy
watching you lose 20 bucks.
319
00:19:03,311 --> 00:19:04,854
Okay, I gave him
very specific instructions.
320
00:19:04,937 --> 00:19:06,647
He's gonna buy us a couple of six packs,
321
00:19:06,731 --> 00:19:08,441
and he can keep the change.
322
00:19:08,941 --> 00:19:10,026
Jesus.
323
00:19:11,277 --> 00:19:12,278
Whoa.
324
00:19:13,863 --> 00:19:15,323
Holy shit, dude. That's her.
325
00:19:15,406 --> 00:19:17,033
What? Who?
326
00:19:17,116 --> 00:19:19,035
It's Denise What's-her-face.
327
00:19:19,118 --> 00:19:20,244
She went to our high school.
328
00:19:20,328 --> 00:19:21,728
She dropped out a couple years ago.
329
00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:24,081
Now she's a stripper.
330
00:19:24,165 --> 00:19:25,291
BEN: How do you even know that?
331
00:19:25,374 --> 00:19:26,709
CARTER: She's a legend.
332
00:19:27,710 --> 00:19:31,047
What the fuck is he... Jesus Christ.
333
00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:35,384
Sir!
334
00:19:37,553 --> 00:19:39,889
I'm not paying for these items.
335
00:19:40,723 --> 00:19:41,891
Sir?
336
00:19:45,061 --> 00:19:46,395
- Shit!
- Oh, uh...
337
00:19:47,563 --> 00:19:50,566
It's okay. I got it. Seriously, I got it.
338
00:19:53,402 --> 00:19:55,488
Fucking ghetto-ass bag.
339
00:19:55,571 --> 00:19:56,739
Here.
340
00:19:57,907 --> 00:19:59,909
What are you doing?
341
00:19:59,992 --> 00:20:02,620
It's a sheet bend knot.
342
00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:03,788
It's impossible to break.
343
00:20:03,871 --> 00:20:04,872
You're pretty handy.
344
00:20:05,581 --> 00:20:06,749
Thanks.
345
00:20:06,832 --> 00:20:07,833
Get out.
346
00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:09,251
- Nice legs.
- Huh?
347
00:20:10,086 --> 00:20:11,837
Costume party?
348
00:20:11,921 --> 00:20:13,422
Oh, no, I'm...
349
00:20:13,839 --> 00:20:15,257
I'm a Scout.
350
00:20:15,341 --> 00:20:16,759
Like an actual Scout?
351
00:20:16,842 --> 00:20:18,322
Yeah, well. We got a campout tonight.
352
00:20:18,761 --> 00:20:21,597
So you work across the street?
353
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,016
Yep. Glamorous, huh?
354
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:26,435
Yeah. I mean, I've never been in,
355
00:20:26,519 --> 00:20:28,270
but I hear it's nice.
356
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,439
It's got a good Yelp review.
357
00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:31,690
(LAUGHS)
358
00:20:31,774 --> 00:20:33,025
- What?
- Nothing.
359
00:20:33,109 --> 00:20:34,469
You're just... You're really cute.
360
00:20:35,528 --> 00:20:36,612
Thanks.
361
00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:38,697
Come on, Carter.
362
00:20:38,781 --> 00:20:41,200
Please tell me
you did not ask that guy to buy you beer.
363
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:42,284
No, it was his idea.
364
00:20:42,368 --> 00:20:43,619
Rookies.
365
00:20:44,370 --> 00:20:45,371
Where are you...
366
00:20:45,454 --> 00:20:46,747
CARTER: I need my $20 back.
367
00:20:46,831 --> 00:20:48,666
It's not all yours.
368
00:20:48,749 --> 00:20:50,459
(CONTINUE ARGUING)
369
00:20:50,793 --> 00:20:52,128
You're dirty. Look how dirty...
370
00:20:57,633 --> 00:20:58,884
Here.
371
00:20:58,968 --> 00:21:00,344
Thank you.
372
00:21:04,390 --> 00:21:06,475
Thank you. Here.
373
00:21:06,976 --> 00:21:08,310
Oh, my God. Thank you.
374
00:21:08,394 --> 00:21:10,646
You're the most amazing person ever.
Thank you.
375
00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:11,981
Yeah. Thanks.
376
00:21:12,064 --> 00:21:14,442
It's cool. And thanks for the help, Legs.
377
00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:15,526
Yeah.
378
00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:18,571
Dude, what the fuck was that?
379
00:21:18,654 --> 00:21:19,864
CARTER: Oh, my God.
380
00:21:19,947 --> 00:21:22,825
I would tongue-pound
her salty walrus any day of the week.
381
00:21:24,034 --> 00:21:25,077
BEN: Oh, shit.
382
00:21:25,161 --> 00:21:26,745
- He's staring at us.
- Go.
383
00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:33,433
Dude, I thought you said
that Kendall broke up with that Jeff guy.
384
00:21:33,586 --> 00:21:35,171
CARTER: Dude, I thought so too.
385
00:21:35,254 --> 00:21:36,922
It's like, one moment, they're together
386
00:21:37,006 --> 00:21:39,425
and the next moment, they're broken up.
387
00:21:39,508 --> 00:21:40,843
So he's a dick.
388
00:21:41,010 --> 00:21:42,011
(IMITATING BIRD)
389
00:21:43,554 --> 00:21:44,555
(CAWING)
390
00:21:45,139 --> 00:21:46,140
(BELCHES)
391
00:21:46,849 --> 00:21:48,601
CARTER: It's like no doubt...
392
00:21:48,684 --> 00:21:49,810
Hey, guys!
393
00:21:49,894 --> 00:21:50,936
Hey, what's up?
394
00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:53,355
All right. Campsite is halfway set up.
395
00:21:53,439 --> 00:21:54,440
- Nice.
- Great.
396
00:21:54,523 --> 00:21:55,941
- What's up?
- What's up?
397
00:21:56,025 --> 00:21:57,151
What's up?
398
00:21:57,234 --> 00:21:59,028
Oh! Too slow. Too slow, buddy.
399
00:21:59,111 --> 00:22:00,321
Where's Scout Leader Rogers?
400
00:22:00,404 --> 00:22:01,780
He was supposed to be
here to help me set up,
401
00:22:01,864 --> 00:22:03,032
but so far he's a no-show.
402
00:22:04,033 --> 00:22:06,118
That's weird. He's never late.
403
00:22:06,202 --> 00:22:08,287
Yeah. Maybe he quit Scouts.
404
00:22:08,454 --> 00:22:11,790
(BLOWING RASPBERRY)
Quit Scouts? Yeah, right.
405
00:22:11,874 --> 00:22:13,375
That's hysterical!
406
00:22:13,459 --> 00:22:15,461
Want to know what I think it is?
I think it's a test.
407
00:22:15,544 --> 00:22:16,629
A test?
408
00:22:16,712 --> 00:22:18,672
Well, yeah.
I'm getting my Condor Badge today.
409
00:22:18,756 --> 00:22:20,633
I have to prove that I'm ready.
410
00:22:21,050 --> 00:22:22,051
Yeah, and check this out.
411
00:22:22,134 --> 00:22:23,894
I'm charting diets for
the Animal Study Badge
412
00:22:23,969 --> 00:22:25,221
and I walked right into that.
413
00:22:25,554 --> 00:22:27,139
- What is this?
- It's deer scat.
414
00:22:28,557 --> 00:22:30,893
Oh, dude! What the fuck, man?
415
00:22:31,227 --> 00:22:32,645
Carter! I needed that!
416
00:22:32,728 --> 00:22:34,480
You needed that? It's shit, Augie!
417
00:22:34,563 --> 00:22:36,148
No one needs shit!
418
00:22:36,232 --> 00:22:37,900
I need it!
I've been looking all week for it.
419
00:22:37,983 --> 00:22:39,944
Oh, God. It's gonna be a long night.
420
00:22:41,946 --> 00:22:43,739
Just feeding it through, in and out.
421
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:45,241
Oh, yeah.
422
00:22:45,574 --> 00:22:47,076
There you go.
423
00:22:47,159 --> 00:22:49,328
- Good job, bud.
- I did it!
424
00:22:49,453 --> 00:22:50,454
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
425
00:23:24,113 --> 00:23:25,155
(GROANS)
426
00:23:26,782 --> 00:23:28,867
What the fuck, man?
Was that your ass?
427
00:23:57,980 --> 00:24:00,357
Beans? Weenies?
428
00:24:00,441 --> 00:24:02,401
Why do we always
have to eat welfare food?
429
00:24:02,484 --> 00:24:04,278
Because we're camping, Carter.
What do you want?
430
00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:06,405
Something artisan.
Something that doesn't make me
431
00:24:06,488 --> 00:24:08,073
fart every five seconds.
432
00:24:08,157 --> 00:24:09,491
Shut up. Quit being such a bitch.
433
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:12,328
Augie? Augie?
434
00:24:12,661 --> 00:24:14,330
Hey, Augie!
435
00:24:14,413 --> 00:24:15,414
Use my lighter.
436
00:24:15,497 --> 00:24:18,042
I'm not gonna get my Fire Making Badge
using a lighter, Carter.
437
00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:19,251
- Just use it.
- No!
438
00:24:19,335 --> 00:24:20,919
- Why?
- AUGIE: 'Cause!
439
00:24:21,003 --> 00:24:22,004
BEN: Augie.
440
00:24:23,339 --> 00:24:26,342
Augie, just use it.
You can get it next time.
441
00:24:30,012 --> 00:24:33,098
What the fuck?
Why the hell can't I get service?
442
00:24:33,182 --> 00:24:34,350
Carter, we're in the woods.
443
00:24:34,433 --> 00:24:35,976
I always get service up here.
444
00:24:36,060 --> 00:24:37,269
Maybe Mother Nature wants you
445
00:24:37,353 --> 00:24:39,772
to put the phone away, Carter,
and be in the moment.
446
00:24:39,855 --> 00:24:42,441
Oh, is that what Mother Nature wants?
447
00:24:42,524 --> 00:24:44,193
Maybe Mother Nature wants this.
448
00:24:45,903 --> 00:24:46,904
(BOTH LAUGHING)
449
00:24:48,364 --> 00:24:50,115
Fucking bull's-eye, man!
450
00:24:50,199 --> 00:24:51,950
You're an asshead, Carter.
451
00:24:52,034 --> 00:24:54,328
Wait! No, no, no, no! Don't take it off.
452
00:24:54,411 --> 00:24:56,205
Here we go. Wait. Hold still.
453
00:24:56,288 --> 00:24:59,291
Hold still. Ready? Say, "marshmallow."
454
00:24:59,708 --> 00:25:01,710
Carter sucks donkey balls.
455
00:25:01,794 --> 00:25:02,795
(CAMERA CLICKS)
456
00:25:03,087 --> 00:25:04,129
Wow.
457
00:25:04,213 --> 00:25:05,964
That's a thing of beauty.
458
00:25:06,048 --> 00:25:07,633
You better not post that.
459
00:25:07,716 --> 00:25:09,636
I'm definitely posting that.
It's my masterpiece.
460
00:25:10,302 --> 00:25:12,554
All right. BRB, guys. I got to pee.
461
00:25:15,265 --> 00:25:16,934
(OWL HOOTING)
462
00:25:17,393 --> 00:25:18,435
Barn owl?
463
00:25:19,228 --> 00:25:20,813
I think it's a spotted owl.
464
00:25:21,647 --> 00:25:23,232
Yeah, you're probably right.
465
00:25:23,857 --> 00:25:24,858
Hey.
466
00:25:24,942 --> 00:25:28,654
Guess what I found
when I was hiking up here?
467
00:25:28,737 --> 00:25:30,614
I found the tree
we carved our initials into.
468
00:25:30,698 --> 00:25:31,907
- No way!
- Yeah.
469
00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:32,991
- Really?
- Yeah.
470
00:25:33,075 --> 00:25:34,827
Wow. That was like seven years ago.
471
00:25:34,910 --> 00:25:37,162
I know. Crazy, right?
472
00:25:37,246 --> 00:25:39,039
Oh. That was the same day
Carter sat on the cactus
473
00:25:39,123 --> 00:25:40,999
when he was taking a shit, right?
474
00:25:41,083 --> 00:25:42,376
(BOTH LAUGHING)
475
00:25:42,501 --> 00:25:44,541
And your dad had to pick out
the needles. (CHUCKLES)
476
00:25:46,088 --> 00:25:47,172
Yeah.
477
00:25:56,014 --> 00:25:58,267
Augie, I know we don't talk
about your dad much,
478
00:25:59,935 --> 00:26:02,020
but it's okay if you want to.
479
00:26:04,022 --> 00:26:06,191
I just don't want to be
a downer, you know.
480
00:26:06,275 --> 00:26:07,776
Come on, Augie,
you're not being a downer.
481
00:26:07,860 --> 00:26:09,027
He was your dad.
482
00:26:09,445 --> 00:26:11,113
You can talk about him.
483
00:26:13,115 --> 00:26:14,116
Thanks, Ben.
484
00:26:14,616 --> 00:26:16,452
Yeah. Of course.
485
00:26:18,787 --> 00:26:19,788
Hey.
486
00:26:21,457 --> 00:26:22,499
Scouts forever?
487
00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:26,128
Yeah. Scouts forever.
488
00:26:40,976 --> 00:26:42,394
(WHISPERING) Ben. Hey.
489
00:26:42,686 --> 00:26:43,729
Come on, Ben. Let's go.
490
00:26:43,812 --> 00:26:45,230
Carter, I don't know about this.
491
00:26:45,314 --> 00:26:46,690
Will you stop crying about this?
492
00:26:46,774 --> 00:26:48,734
Let's go. Come on, we're doing this.
493
00:26:48,817 --> 00:26:51,069
Let's go. Come on.
494
00:26:51,153 --> 00:26:52,196
Come on.
495
00:26:57,659 --> 00:26:58,660
(SNORING)
496
00:27:01,622 --> 00:27:03,040
(FAINT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
497
00:27:06,293 --> 00:27:07,836
(ALL CHEERING)
498
00:27:34,655 --> 00:27:35,864
(GARGLING)
499
00:27:41,036 --> 00:27:42,454
Are we interrupting?
500
00:27:42,955 --> 00:27:44,498
(ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
501
00:27:45,874 --> 00:27:46,959
You look amazing.
502
00:27:47,042 --> 00:27:48,043
Thank you.
503
00:27:48,168 --> 00:27:49,378
Hey, have you guys seen my brother?
504
00:27:49,461 --> 00:27:50,963
He should have been here by now.
505
00:27:51,547 --> 00:27:53,799
No. I haven't seen him anywhere, no.
506
00:27:54,216 --> 00:27:56,176
But look,
I'm sure he'll be here any second. Okay?
507
00:27:59,054 --> 00:28:01,557
Dude. What if Augie wakes up
and we're not there?
508
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:02,808
He's not gonna wake up.
509
00:28:02,891 --> 00:28:05,060
If Chewbacca was fucking
Bigfoot in our campsite,
510
00:28:05,143 --> 00:28:06,895
he'd still be asleep.
511
00:28:07,104 --> 00:28:08,105
Whoa.
512
00:28:08,397 --> 00:28:10,232
- What is that?
- What?
513
00:28:11,942 --> 00:28:13,735
Look. Look, he was here.
514
00:28:13,819 --> 00:28:16,029
Okay. So, he decided to go back home.
515
00:28:16,113 --> 00:28:17,114
He changed his mind.
516
00:28:17,197 --> 00:28:20,075
No, no, no. Scout Leader Rogers
would never leave his lucky knife.
517
00:28:20,158 --> 00:28:21,410
I think something's wrong.
518
00:28:21,493 --> 00:28:24,121
Dude, what's wrong
is us sitting here talking about this.
519
00:28:24,204 --> 00:28:25,455
Give me that.
520
00:28:26,164 --> 00:28:27,666
Dude, look. Look at his prints.
521
00:28:27,749 --> 00:28:30,085
His foot was dragging like
he had a limp or something.
522
00:28:30,168 --> 00:28:32,754
(SIGHS) Okay.
Hurray for your mad tracking skills.
523
00:28:32,838 --> 00:28:35,007
Can we just... Can we go? Please?
524
00:28:43,807 --> 00:28:44,808
What?
525
00:28:44,892 --> 00:28:46,268
I just think something
really bad happened to him.
526
00:28:46,351 --> 00:28:48,604
- Are we still talking about Rogers?
- Yeah.
527
00:28:48,687 --> 00:28:50,939
Dude, he is sitting at home
dressed up like Dolly Parton
528
00:28:51,023 --> 00:28:52,691
singing show tunes. Relax.
529
00:28:54,568 --> 00:28:55,569
(ENGINE STARTS)
530
00:28:57,112 --> 00:28:58,447
Oh, shit.
531
00:29:00,616 --> 00:29:02,618
Augie, wait! Augie!
532
00:29:02,701 --> 00:29:03,869
Augie!
533
00:29:05,787 --> 00:29:07,027
I thought we were best friends.
534
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,165
We are best friends.
535
00:29:08,248 --> 00:29:10,125
- We were coming back.
- Really?
536
00:29:10,208 --> 00:29:11,668
After your party?
537
00:29:12,878 --> 00:29:14,379
You know about that?
538
00:29:14,463 --> 00:29:15,839
Everybody knows about
the senior party, Carter.
539
00:29:15,923 --> 00:29:17,215
Even a loser like me.
540
00:29:17,299 --> 00:29:18,342
Augie, don't say that.
541
00:29:18,425 --> 00:29:19,718
Why not? It's what you guys think!
542
00:29:19,801 --> 00:29:21,386
We don't think you're a loser.
543
00:29:21,470 --> 00:29:23,221
Ben, just tell him.
544
00:29:23,305 --> 00:29:24,306
Carter, no.
545
00:29:24,389 --> 00:29:25,974
Yeah, tell me, Ben.
546
00:29:26,391 --> 00:29:28,226
Come on! Say it!
547
00:29:28,310 --> 00:29:29,790
CARTER: We're quitting Scouts, Augie.
548
00:29:32,981 --> 00:29:35,525
Look, it was fun when we were kids.
549
00:29:37,319 --> 00:29:40,864
But we have to grow up, man.
550
00:29:42,157 --> 00:29:44,743
Augie. We're still gonna be best friends.
551
00:29:47,412 --> 00:29:48,830
Go to your party.
552
00:29:50,749 --> 00:29:52,000
Augie.
553
00:29:52,501 --> 00:29:53,627
Augie, wait!
554
00:29:54,503 --> 00:29:56,171
Augie, come on!
555
00:29:59,675 --> 00:30:01,343
Just leave him, Ben.
556
00:30:14,690 --> 00:30:17,275
CARTER: What the fuck...
What's wrong with the radio?
557
00:30:17,359 --> 00:30:18,610
Carter, are you seeing this?
558
00:30:18,694 --> 00:30:19,778
Seeing what?
559
00:30:19,861 --> 00:30:22,197
Look. The town's deserted.
560
00:30:23,865 --> 00:30:25,367
Everyone's probably asleep.
561
00:30:25,450 --> 00:30:26,868
On a Friday night?
562
00:30:27,786 --> 00:30:30,956
I don't know.
Something just feels really weird.
563
00:30:31,039 --> 00:30:32,457
Oh, hey. Pull over right here.
564
00:30:37,546 --> 00:30:40,382
I can't wait to get out of
these stupid uniforms.
565
00:30:40,966 --> 00:30:42,384
All right. Let's see here.
566
00:30:43,385 --> 00:30:45,971
We're just gonna change right here?
567
00:30:46,054 --> 00:30:47,389
Nobody's around.
568
00:30:48,223 --> 00:30:51,643
Let's see. Jeans. T-shirt.
569
00:30:51,727 --> 00:30:54,730
Condoms. Good to go. Uh...
570
00:30:55,397 --> 00:30:57,816
Forget socks? Yes, I did.
571
00:31:00,402 --> 00:31:01,403
(GLASS CLINKING)
572
00:31:04,573 --> 00:31:06,324
- CARTER: Holy shitballs!
- What?
573
00:31:06,408 --> 00:31:07,576
Dude, look.
574
00:31:07,659 --> 00:31:08,744
BEN: What?
575
00:31:08,827 --> 00:31:10,203
CARTER: The bouncer, he's gone!
576
00:31:10,912 --> 00:31:12,330
Carter, someone smashed the door.
577
00:31:12,414 --> 00:31:13,665
We should sneak in.
578
00:31:13,749 --> 00:31:15,584
- That's illegal.
- Let's sneak in. Come on. Let's do it.
579
00:31:15,667 --> 00:31:16,827
Carter, we can't go in there!
580
00:31:16,877 --> 00:31:17,919
Come on!
581
00:31:18,003 --> 00:31:19,171
BEN: We can't go in there.
We're minors.
582
00:31:19,254 --> 00:31:20,505
CARTER: It's the chance
of a lifetime. Who cares?
583
00:31:20,589 --> 00:31:21,631
BEN: What are you doing?
584
00:31:21,715 --> 00:31:23,175
CARTER: It's gonna be awesome!
585
00:31:23,258 --> 00:31:25,427
Oh, my God. Wait, wait, wait.
586
00:31:26,845 --> 00:31:29,848
Okay, it's clear. Come on. Let's do it.
587
00:31:30,265 --> 00:31:31,266
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
588
00:31:32,517 --> 00:31:34,436
Sweet Jesus.
589
00:31:35,103 --> 00:31:36,938
This is it, Ben.
590
00:31:37,022 --> 00:31:38,398
We've made it.
591
00:31:38,482 --> 00:31:40,358
We're at the epicenter of pussy.
592
00:31:41,610 --> 00:31:43,695
Oh, shit.
I got to go to the ATM, get some cash.
593
00:31:43,779 --> 00:31:45,447
You find us a spot.
594
00:31:46,114 --> 00:31:49,701
Yeah. That shouldn't be too hard
since there's, like, nobody here.
595
00:33:23,128 --> 00:33:24,754
- Hey!
- (HOARSE BREATHING)
596
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,883
My friend brought me here.
He's getting money.
597
00:33:29,718 --> 00:33:32,304
I have a girlfriend, sort of.
598
00:33:32,387 --> 00:33:33,388
(SNARLING)
599
00:33:33,555 --> 00:33:35,557
Don't worry, Mommy, Daddy's here!
600
00:33:37,475 --> 00:33:39,811
Dude, this is fucking awesome!
601
00:33:39,895 --> 00:33:41,146
Dude, something's wrong with her.
602
00:33:41,229 --> 00:33:43,690
Look at her chest. What's all over her?
603
00:33:43,773 --> 00:33:46,735
No, no. That's makeup, dummy.
It's a jungle theme.
604
00:33:48,445 --> 00:33:49,446
Oh, wow.
605
00:33:49,571 --> 00:33:51,323
This is so hot.
606
00:33:53,241 --> 00:33:54,409
Oh, my God.
607
00:33:55,076 --> 00:33:56,161
Oh, my God.
608
00:33:58,914 --> 00:34:00,665
Oh, my God!
609
00:34:01,750 --> 00:34:02,751
(GROWLING)
610
00:34:03,210 --> 00:34:04,920
(SCREAMING)
611
00:34:06,338 --> 00:34:07,839
Run! Quick, run!
612
00:34:09,174 --> 00:34:11,259
Door, door, door, door!
613
00:34:11,509 --> 00:34:12,510
(BANGING)
614
00:34:13,428 --> 00:34:14,846
(BOTH SCREAMING)
615
00:34:30,362 --> 00:34:31,363
(PANTING)
616
00:35:13,822 --> 00:35:15,240
(SNARLING)
617
00:35:22,163 --> 00:35:23,456
(YELLING)
618
00:35:27,168 --> 00:35:28,169
Ugh!
619
00:35:52,444 --> 00:35:54,362
Get up! Get up! Get up!
620
00:35:58,533 --> 00:36:00,785
- Carter!
- Ben? Ben.
621
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:03,371
What the fuck is going on?
622
00:36:03,455 --> 00:36:04,622
I don't know! They're trying to kill us!
623
00:36:04,706 --> 00:36:06,875
- I just wanted to see some titties!
- BEN: I know!
624
00:36:07,375 --> 00:36:09,294
Wait. You're the stripper.
625
00:36:10,253 --> 00:36:11,588
Cocktail waitress.
626
00:36:11,713 --> 00:36:12,714
(DOORBELL RINGING)
627
00:36:28,229 --> 00:36:30,065
Scout Leader Rogers?
628
00:36:37,072 --> 00:36:39,240
Scout Leader Rogers, are you home?
629
00:36:42,285 --> 00:36:43,286
(IMITATES BIRD)
630
00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:50,835
Hello?
631
00:37:11,106 --> 00:37:12,857
Holy cow.
632
00:37:14,943 --> 00:37:16,277
(CARTER SCREAMING)
633
00:37:17,821 --> 00:37:19,280
Calm the fuck down!
634
00:37:19,364 --> 00:37:21,564
Calm down? Are you crazy?
We almost got killed in there!
635
00:37:21,616 --> 00:37:22,867
- Is that your ride?
- Can you please just tell us
636
00:37:22,951 --> 00:37:24,035
what the hell is going on?
637
00:37:24,119 --> 00:37:25,453
I really need to wash up
my face right now!
638
00:37:25,537 --> 00:37:26,579
Keys, now!
639
00:37:26,663 --> 00:37:27,705
No! Not until you tell us
what's happening.
640
00:37:27,789 --> 00:37:28,957
Anybody got a wet nap?
641
00:37:29,082 --> 00:37:30,208
What the fuck do you
think is happening?
642
00:37:30,291 --> 00:37:31,376
Everyone's eating each other!
643
00:37:31,459 --> 00:37:33,253
- Wait, like a...
- Yes, like that!
644
00:37:33,336 --> 00:37:34,337
That's not possible.
645
00:37:34,421 --> 00:37:35,422
I think it's possible, Ben.
646
00:37:35,505 --> 00:37:38,216
A dead stripper just tried to eat my face!
647
00:37:38,341 --> 00:37:39,509
- (GROWLING)
- Oh, shit!
648
00:37:40,051 --> 00:37:41,553
Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.
649
00:37:42,053 --> 00:37:43,388
Just shoot it! Shoot it!
650
00:37:51,396 --> 00:37:52,730
Yep. Zombie.
651
00:37:57,485 --> 00:37:59,154
Any more questions?
652
00:37:59,362 --> 00:38:01,114
(CLAMORING)
653
00:38:08,830 --> 00:38:10,498
Drive, dude, go! Come on!
654
00:38:10,623 --> 00:38:11,958
(ENGINE REVVING)
655
00:38:13,418 --> 00:38:15,086
Where are you going? What the fuck?
656
00:38:21,843 --> 00:38:22,844
Oh, shit!
657
00:38:25,180 --> 00:38:27,015
Carter, get the tire!
658
00:38:32,228 --> 00:38:33,396
CARTER: I got it.
659
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,982
Guys, hurry up!
They're getting pretty fucking close!
660
00:38:37,484 --> 00:38:39,652
- Come on!
- I'm going as fast as I can.
661
00:38:39,736 --> 00:38:40,945
Find the fucking lug nuts.
662
00:38:43,531 --> 00:38:44,532
Fuck.
663
00:38:47,202 --> 00:38:48,953
Seriously, hurry the fuck up!
664
00:38:49,037 --> 00:38:50,705
I got them! Here. Here.
665
00:38:51,039 --> 00:38:52,540
Put it on!
666
00:38:52,874 --> 00:38:54,542
Okay. Good. Put it on! Put it on!
667
00:38:54,792 --> 00:38:55,793
Fuck!
668
00:39:02,050 --> 00:39:03,051
BEN: I got it!
669
00:39:05,637 --> 00:39:07,138
(LOUD GROWLING)
670
00:39:07,222 --> 00:39:08,306
CARTER: Oh, shit!
671
00:39:08,389 --> 00:39:10,391
You got to be fucking kidding me.
672
00:39:16,231 --> 00:39:17,357
Go! Go! Go!
673
00:39:37,502 --> 00:39:39,337
(STOMACH GURGLING)
674
00:39:41,422 --> 00:39:42,423
(CONTINUES)
675
00:39:46,886 --> 00:39:48,429
(FARTING)
676
00:39:49,097 --> 00:39:50,098
(EXHALES)
677
00:39:59,482 --> 00:40:00,483
(WHISTLING)
678
00:40:28,136 --> 00:40:29,137
(SPRAYING)
679
00:40:41,524 --> 00:40:42,525
(FLUSHING)
680
00:40:53,244 --> 00:40:55,204
Scout Leader Rogers!
What happened tonight?
681
00:40:55,288 --> 00:40:56,998
- We were worried about you.
- (SNIFFING)
682
00:40:58,416 --> 00:41:02,420
I know. It's bad. I'm so sorry.
I had to use your bathroom.
683
00:41:02,503 --> 00:41:04,088
I think it was the beans.
684
00:41:05,006 --> 00:41:06,841
And the marshmallows.
685
00:41:06,924 --> 00:41:08,092
(ROGERS GROANING)
686
00:41:08,176 --> 00:41:11,012
I tried spraying. It just lingers.
687
00:41:18,269 --> 00:41:19,812
(STAMMERING)
688
00:41:20,772 --> 00:41:21,814
- Your neck!
- (GROWLING)
689
00:41:22,148 --> 00:41:23,149
(SCREAMS)
690
00:41:24,359 --> 00:41:26,027
Scout Leader Rogers! Please!
691
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:32,559
I think you're having a bad
allergic reaction to something!
692
00:41:32,617 --> 00:41:34,827
We need to get you to a doctor!
693
00:41:35,203 --> 00:41:36,363
- (GROWLS)
- (AUGIE SCREAMING)
694
00:41:37,705 --> 00:41:39,707
(UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC
PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS)
695
00:41:49,634 --> 00:41:50,677
(YELPS)
696
00:42:08,611 --> 00:42:10,405
(WHIMPERING)
697
00:42:26,838 --> 00:42:27,839
(YELLING)
698
00:42:40,059 --> 00:42:41,269
(SCREAMING)
699
00:43:11,132 --> 00:43:13,176
(READING) "All evacuation
buses have departed.
700
00:43:13,259 --> 00:43:14,594
"Proceed north on Route 1
701
00:43:14,677 --> 00:43:17,054
"to the security checkpoint
at mile marker 17."
702
00:43:17,138 --> 00:43:19,474
Oh, shit. They evacuated the town.
703
00:43:19,557 --> 00:43:20,558
CARTER: That's great.
704
00:43:20,641 --> 00:43:22,201
I missed the party, and I missed Chloe,
705
00:43:22,268 --> 00:43:24,395
- and now I'm gonna die.
- Guys.
706
00:43:24,479 --> 00:43:25,563
Carter, calm down!
We need to figure out
707
00:43:25,646 --> 00:43:27,190
- what we're gonna do.
- Guys!
708
00:43:33,488 --> 00:43:34,572
DENISE: Come on.
709
00:43:37,825 --> 00:43:39,327
Go, go, go!
710
00:43:39,410 --> 00:43:41,078
- Carter, lock it!
- I'm trying to fuckin' lock it, man!
711
00:43:41,162 --> 00:43:42,163
It's not working.
712
00:43:44,999 --> 00:43:46,918
BEN: Come on!
CARTER: I'm trying!
713
00:43:47,001 --> 00:43:48,169
Move!
714
00:43:50,254 --> 00:43:51,255
Come on!
715
00:43:54,091 --> 00:43:55,092
(GUNSHOT)
716
00:44:07,104 --> 00:44:08,606
Carter, get the ax!
717
00:44:21,577 --> 00:44:22,870
(GLASS SMASHING)
718
00:44:27,124 --> 00:44:28,644
- BEN: Go, go, go.
- (CARTER SCREAMING)
719
00:44:32,713 --> 00:44:34,382
They're coming!
720
00:44:49,897 --> 00:44:50,898
This way!
721
00:44:52,149 --> 00:44:53,317
Fuck!
722
00:45:06,747 --> 00:45:09,250
This is fucking awesome! Now what?
723
00:45:14,171 --> 00:45:17,508
I'm really sorry
I set you on fire, Scout Leader Rogers.
724
00:45:17,592 --> 00:45:19,312
But hopefully, it's not as bad as it looks.
725
00:45:19,343 --> 00:45:20,803
(SNARLING)
726
00:45:22,263 --> 00:45:23,931
I used a double overhand stopper knot.
727
00:45:25,141 --> 00:45:27,101
It's hard to get out of, right?
728
00:45:27,643 --> 00:45:28,644
Oh!
729
00:45:29,437 --> 00:45:31,188
Okay. All right.
730
00:45:35,443 --> 00:45:38,446
Okay, now. I'll be right back.
731
00:45:39,113 --> 00:45:40,531
Just stay there.
732
00:45:51,459 --> 00:45:52,460
(CRASHING)
733
00:45:53,210 --> 00:45:54,921
(ROGERS WHIMPERING)
734
00:46:09,769 --> 00:46:11,228
Dude, what the fuck?
735
00:46:11,812 --> 00:46:13,564
Haven't you had enough to eat? Jesus.
736
00:46:14,607 --> 00:46:16,067
Carter, stop agitating them.
737
00:46:16,150 --> 00:46:17,610
What? I need a new profile pic.
738
00:46:21,447 --> 00:46:24,033
So, do you think
they evacuated everyone at the party?
739
00:46:24,116 --> 00:46:25,534
Yeah, of course. They had to.
740
00:46:26,744 --> 00:46:28,621
At least we know our parents are okay.
741
00:46:28,704 --> 00:46:30,373
- Yeah.
- Where are they?
742
00:46:30,456 --> 00:46:33,125
They went to some
lame spiritual yoga retreat.
743
00:46:33,209 --> 00:46:35,044
Ugh. I think I'd rather be in here.
744
00:46:38,214 --> 00:46:39,215
(SIGHS)
745
00:46:40,925 --> 00:46:42,468
I hope Augie's okay.
746
00:46:42,551 --> 00:46:44,804
- DENISE: Who's Augie?
- He's our best friend.
747
00:46:44,887 --> 00:46:46,555
Well, ex-best friend now.
748
00:46:46,973 --> 00:46:48,015
Why ex?
749
00:46:48,099 --> 00:46:49,725
Because we ditched him for a party.
750
00:46:49,809 --> 00:46:51,310
Ben, we were gonna go back.
751
00:46:51,394 --> 00:46:53,437
Whatever, Carter. We ditched him.
We're bad friends.
752
00:46:53,521 --> 00:46:55,690
Why didn't you guys
just take him with you?
753
00:46:57,483 --> 00:46:59,235
You don't know Augie.
754
00:46:59,318 --> 00:47:01,070
- What?
- He's just different.
755
00:47:01,153 --> 00:47:02,238
Big geek?
756
00:47:02,321 --> 00:47:04,407
He collects deer shit
and weaves baskets.
757
00:47:04,490 --> 00:47:05,783
Okay? You do the math.
758
00:47:06,659 --> 00:47:07,743
Okay.
759
00:47:07,827 --> 00:47:08,953
Word of advice,
760
00:47:09,036 --> 00:47:10,997
chasing parties and popularity
in high school?
761
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:12,289
It's a total dead end.
762
00:47:12,373 --> 00:47:13,833
None of that shit will matter later.
763
00:47:13,916 --> 00:47:15,584
Trust me. I know.
764
00:47:15,668 --> 00:47:17,753
You're right, but didn't you,
like, drop out of high school?
765
00:47:17,878 --> 00:47:19,588
- No, I got my GED.
- Why?
766
00:47:19,714 --> 00:47:21,924
'Cause not everybody has
a lily-white life like you do.
767
00:47:22,008 --> 00:47:23,801
Okay. God, you're so hostile.
768
00:47:23,884 --> 00:47:26,512
No, hostile is three seconds from
now when my foot's up your ass.
769
00:47:26,595 --> 00:47:28,014
Okay, yeah. Try all you want,
770
00:47:28,097 --> 00:47:29,390
but I happen to have
a very tight asshole.
771
00:47:29,473 --> 00:47:31,033
I think I could stretch it out for you.
772
00:47:31,058 --> 00:47:32,518
Oh, well, then lube me up, baby.
773
00:47:32,601 --> 00:47:35,271
Carter! We're gonna play
the quiet game now, okay?
774
00:47:36,564 --> 00:47:38,441
All right, you know what? Fine.
775
00:47:39,108 --> 00:47:40,776
I'm over both of you.
776
00:47:50,077 --> 00:47:51,912
You're pretty good at that.
777
00:47:51,996 --> 00:47:54,498
Yeah, I guess
that Whittling Badge finally paid off.
778
00:47:54,665 --> 00:47:55,875
(CHUCKLES)
779
00:47:58,627 --> 00:47:59,879
What about you?
780
00:47:59,962 --> 00:48:01,172
What about me?
781
00:48:01,255 --> 00:48:03,591
How'd you learn
to use a shotgun like that?
782
00:48:04,759 --> 00:48:07,845
My ex-boyfriend was really into guns.
783
00:48:07,928 --> 00:48:10,765
He used to drag me to
the firing range once a week.
784
00:48:10,848 --> 00:48:11,849
Oh.
785
00:48:12,266 --> 00:48:14,935
So, no boyfriend now?
786
00:48:15,019 --> 00:48:16,353
Not if I can help it.
787
00:48:17,313 --> 00:48:18,856
Well, why do you say that?
788
00:48:18,939 --> 00:48:20,483
I don't know.
789
00:48:20,816 --> 00:48:23,110
Let's just say,
I have really shitty taste in guys.
790
00:48:23,444 --> 00:48:25,529
I'm better off alone.
791
00:48:25,613 --> 00:48:27,490
Nobody's better off alone.
792
00:48:27,573 --> 00:48:28,949
Yeah, well, I am.
793
00:48:30,659 --> 00:48:32,328
CARTER: Aww,
what a beautiful moment.
794
00:48:33,287 --> 00:48:34,914
Ow! Asshole, that hurt!
795
00:48:34,997 --> 00:48:36,874
- Yeah, that was the point!
- Oh, was that the point?
796
00:48:36,957 --> 00:48:38,167
- Guys! Shh!
- (MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE)
797
00:48:38,542 --> 00:48:39,752
Do you hear that?
798
00:48:39,835 --> 00:48:41,045
Is that Crank That?
799
00:48:43,214 --> 00:48:44,548
BEN: They're leaving.
800
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:45,883
I love this song!
801
00:48:45,966 --> 00:48:47,009
You would.
802
00:48:47,218 --> 00:48:49,220
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING
THROUGH SPEAKERS)
803
00:48:58,145 --> 00:48:59,355
Look! Right there.
804
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:00,439
Fuck. But they're gonna come back.
805
00:49:00,523 --> 00:49:01,565
What are we gonna do?
806
00:49:01,649 --> 00:49:03,025
- Condoms!
- What?
807
00:49:03,150 --> 00:49:05,694
Carter, give me your condoms! Hurry!
808
00:49:07,738 --> 00:49:09,824
Here. Take them
and open them and tie them together.
809
00:49:09,907 --> 00:49:10,908
DENISE: Why are we doing this?
810
00:49:10,991 --> 00:49:12,118
- Just do it!
- Okay, okay.
811
00:49:12,201 --> 00:49:13,369
CARTER: Here's one.
812
00:49:13,494 --> 00:49:14,829
Come on, hurry!
813
00:49:24,588 --> 00:49:26,298
(CAR ALARM BLARING)
814
00:49:26,465 --> 00:49:27,967
(SNARLING)
815
00:49:39,770 --> 00:49:42,022
Here we go. Fly fishing. It's genius.
816
00:49:43,190 --> 00:49:46,277
Go on, just a little bit.
Get it right up there.
817
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:48,362
There you go. Come on.
818
00:49:48,445 --> 00:49:49,488
It's right up there!
819
00:49:51,240 --> 00:49:53,075
You got it, come on.
820
00:49:55,369 --> 00:49:57,538
CARTER: Good work. Yes! Yes!
821
00:49:58,414 --> 00:49:59,415
No, no, no!
822
00:50:01,375 --> 00:50:02,418
Jesus!
823
00:50:02,501 --> 00:50:03,501
You got arrested?
824
00:50:03,544 --> 00:50:04,670
BEN: No,
we locked ourselves in.
825
00:50:04,753 --> 00:50:06,005
- How?
- It was an accident!
826
00:50:06,088 --> 00:50:07,464
This has to be Augie.
827
00:50:07,548 --> 00:50:08,591
Augie, get the keys.
828
00:50:08,716 --> 00:50:10,516
You kicked them
into the drainpipe over there.
829
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:13,137
- I can't reach it!
- BEN: Shit!
830
00:50:13,220 --> 00:50:14,346
Shit, they're coming back.
831
00:50:14,430 --> 00:50:15,556
Hold on.
832
00:50:16,682 --> 00:50:18,684
What, is there a
Lockpicking Badge I'm unaware of?
833
00:50:19,393 --> 00:50:20,394
How'd you find us?
834
00:50:20,519 --> 00:50:21,799
Followed the stench of betrayal.
835
00:50:21,854 --> 00:50:22,855
Augie...
836
00:50:22,938 --> 00:50:25,191
I saw your car. I figured I'd help.
837
00:50:25,274 --> 00:50:26,942
- Augie, look, I'm really...
- Got it!
838
00:50:35,618 --> 00:50:37,953
Go, go, go!
839
00:50:43,250 --> 00:50:44,418
Close the gate!
840
00:50:52,635 --> 00:50:54,303
Oh...
841
00:50:56,305 --> 00:50:57,973
...my...
842
00:50:59,808 --> 00:51:02,478
...God.
843
00:51:02,937 --> 00:51:03,938
Carter, let's go!
844
00:51:06,106 --> 00:51:07,942
- Come on!
- CARTER: Okay!
845
00:51:09,318 --> 00:51:11,737
Oh, God. I touched them!
I touched them!
846
00:51:11,820 --> 00:51:13,322
I don't think they were real.
847
00:51:17,826 --> 00:51:20,079
DENISE: Fuck,
my feet are killing me.
848
00:51:20,162 --> 00:51:22,581
The security checkpoint's
only a few miles away.
849
00:51:22,665 --> 00:51:25,209
Dude, I'm starving.
850
00:51:25,292 --> 00:51:28,879
How can you even think of food
when people are being eaten alive?
851
00:51:28,963 --> 00:51:31,715
You know, they say that
humans taste like pork.
852
00:51:31,799 --> 00:51:33,217
"They"?
853
00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:34,300
Cannibals, I guess.
854
00:51:34,343 --> 00:51:35,761
Dude, I love bacon.
855
00:51:35,844 --> 00:51:37,096
BEN: Hey, look.
856
00:51:37,179 --> 00:51:38,973
Maybe the keys are inside.
857
00:51:44,270 --> 00:51:45,271
(GROWLING)
858
00:51:46,146 --> 00:51:47,314
Jesus! This guy again?
859
00:51:47,398 --> 00:51:48,941
CARTER: Someone kill him!
860
00:51:49,024 --> 00:51:51,568
Carter, we can't just keep
going around killing people.
861
00:51:51,652 --> 00:51:52,736
Why not?
862
00:51:52,820 --> 00:51:53,900
Because he's a human being!
863
00:51:53,946 --> 00:51:55,066
Okay. We'll see how you feel
864
00:51:55,155 --> 00:51:57,075
when he's eating
your nutsack like a street taco.
865
00:51:58,450 --> 00:52:00,703
Um, guys, he's getting pretty close.
866
00:52:00,786 --> 00:52:02,246
Remember our
Wilderness Safety Seminar?
867
00:52:02,329 --> 00:52:03,329
What?
868
00:52:03,372 --> 00:52:05,582
When encountering a hostile creature,
be sure to assert yourself
869
00:52:05,666 --> 00:52:07,251
in order to keep the animal at bay.
870
00:52:07,334 --> 00:52:08,627
Well, I...
871
00:52:08,961 --> 00:52:09,962
(GROWLS)
872
00:52:10,045 --> 00:52:12,381
That is a zombie, not a bear, dumbass.
873
00:52:12,548 --> 00:52:13,549
(ROARING)
874
00:52:17,636 --> 00:52:18,637
(GROWLS SOFTLY)
875
00:52:19,388 --> 00:52:20,389
(MIMICS GROWL)
876
00:52:21,890 --> 00:52:23,350
(ROARS SOFTLY)
877
00:52:24,435 --> 00:52:25,477
(MIMICS)
878
00:52:26,353 --> 00:52:27,438
Guys, I think he's mimicking me.
879
00:52:27,521 --> 00:52:28,856
Augie, quit messing around.
880
00:52:33,902 --> 00:52:34,987
(SOFTLY) Augie.
881
00:52:41,368 --> 00:52:42,911
(SINGING)
882
00:52:48,542 --> 00:52:49,543
What?
883
00:52:52,129 --> 00:52:53,422
Augie, what are you doing?
884
00:53:04,099 --> 00:53:05,267
(SINGING)
885
00:53:05,351 --> 00:53:06,560
What are you doing?
886
00:53:15,319 --> 00:53:16,320
(ALL SINGING)
887
00:53:21,533 --> 00:53:22,993
Okay. Did I just drop acid,
888
00:53:23,077 --> 00:53:25,579
or are they really singing
Britney Spears with a zombie?
889
00:53:31,627 --> 00:53:32,628
(GUN FIRING)
890
00:53:32,753 --> 00:53:33,754
(ALL GASPING)
891
00:53:44,181 --> 00:53:45,432
Is that all of you?
892
00:53:45,516 --> 00:53:47,017
Yeah. What the hell's happening?
893
00:53:47,101 --> 00:53:49,520
Don't know yet.
Some kind of viral outbreak.
894
00:53:49,603 --> 00:53:51,939
CDC ordered a military
containment perimeter.
895
00:53:52,022 --> 00:53:53,148
Is most of the town evacuated?
896
00:53:53,232 --> 00:53:54,525
REEVES: As many as we could.
897
00:53:54,608 --> 00:53:57,277
This thing hit so hard and fast,
we're still trying to contain it.
898
00:53:57,403 --> 00:53:59,523
What about everyone at the party?
Were they evacuated?
899
00:54:00,114 --> 00:54:01,281
What party?
900
00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:12,459
(FAINT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
901
00:54:43,323 --> 00:54:45,576
Well, where is everybody?
902
00:54:45,659 --> 00:54:48,328
Nobody's here. It must be a mistake.
903
00:54:49,163 --> 00:54:51,582
Yeah, 1146 Dunton Avenue. This is it.
904
00:54:51,665 --> 00:54:54,751
It's not a mistake, Carter.
Jeff sent you a fake address.
905
00:54:54,835 --> 00:54:56,003
What?
906
00:54:56,086 --> 00:54:57,671
BEN: Carter, this is a waste plant.
907
00:54:57,754 --> 00:54:59,756
You get it? It's full of shit.
908
00:55:01,258 --> 00:55:03,469
Motherfucker! God damn it!
909
00:55:03,802 --> 00:55:06,221
I can't believe he sent us
a fucking fake address!
910
00:55:06,305 --> 00:55:07,389
BEN: Why does it surprise you?
911
00:55:07,473 --> 00:55:10,234
I mean, did you actually think
he was gonna invite us to a real party?
912
00:55:11,018 --> 00:55:12,186
Karma.
913
00:55:12,686 --> 00:55:13,770
What?
914
00:55:13,854 --> 00:55:15,522
- Nothing.
- No, speak up.
915
00:55:15,647 --> 00:55:17,232
Well, I just think it's a little ironic
916
00:55:17,316 --> 00:55:20,194
that, you know, you're all upset now
because you got ditched.
917
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:22,946
Oh, okay.
So you're saying that we deserve it.
918
00:55:23,030 --> 00:55:24,656
We went to your stupid campout, dude.
919
00:55:24,740 --> 00:55:26,283
You lied to me.
920
00:55:26,366 --> 00:55:28,286
We've been lying to you
for the past three years!
921
00:55:28,327 --> 00:55:29,828
- Carter!
- Going to every Scout meeting,
922
00:55:29,912 --> 00:55:31,121
every lame field trip.
923
00:55:31,205 --> 00:55:32,456
Wearing these stupid fucking clothes
924
00:55:32,539 --> 00:55:33,624
so everybody can make fun of us.
925
00:55:33,707 --> 00:55:34,708
Carter, that's enough!
926
00:55:34,833 --> 00:55:36,513
Ben, you're not hiding
behind me this time.
927
00:55:36,585 --> 00:55:37,628
Tell him.
928
00:55:37,711 --> 00:55:38,837
Talk about how many times
929
00:55:38,921 --> 00:55:40,923
you said you hated Scouts,
how sick of it you were.
930
00:55:41,006 --> 00:55:42,799
- I never said that.
- Bullshit!
931
00:55:42,883 --> 00:55:43,967
No, no, no. It's fine.
932
00:55:44,051 --> 00:55:46,011
I guess it's time
for it to all come out, right?
933
00:55:46,678 --> 00:55:48,889
He's had a crush on Kendall
since sixth grade.
934
00:55:49,014 --> 00:55:50,390
- That is not true!
- AUGIE: Yes, it is.
935
00:55:50,516 --> 00:55:52,559
- Kendall? As in my sister Kendall?
- Mmm-hmm.
936
00:55:52,684 --> 00:55:54,102
- No.
- Dude, that's like incest.
937
00:55:54,186 --> 00:55:55,354
No, it's not, I'm not even related to her.
938
00:55:55,437 --> 00:55:56,480
So you do like her, then.
939
00:55:56,563 --> 00:55:58,023
- No, I don't like her!
- Told you.
940
00:55:58,106 --> 00:55:59,233
Shut up!
941
00:55:59,608 --> 00:56:00,609
Stop!
942
00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:03,820
Again with this shit? Jesus.
943
00:56:03,904 --> 00:56:05,405
Can't you just walkie someone?
944
00:56:07,199 --> 00:56:08,909
Hey, are you okay?
945
00:56:09,076 --> 00:56:10,077
(ROARING)
946
00:56:10,869 --> 00:56:12,621
Guys! (SCREAMING)
947
00:56:12,704 --> 00:56:14,414
Shit!
948
00:56:16,500 --> 00:56:17,668
Get him!
949
00:56:21,088 --> 00:56:25,592
I'm so fucking sick of zombies!
950
00:56:27,261 --> 00:56:28,345
AUGIE: Yikes.
951
00:56:28,428 --> 00:56:29,429
Wa-wa-wee-wa.
952
00:56:29,513 --> 00:56:30,514
(RADIO STATIC)
953
00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:35,644
Shit!
954
00:56:40,065 --> 00:56:41,483
Hello! Is anybody there?
955
00:56:41,567 --> 00:56:42,943
MAN: Evac complete.
956
00:56:43,277 --> 00:56:44,403
No, no, no, no. We're still here!
957
00:56:44,486 --> 00:56:45,779
MAN: We have Operation Clean Up.
958
00:56:46,446 --> 00:56:49,783
Commence aerial bombing
of site at 0300. Repeat, 0300. Over.
959
00:56:49,866 --> 00:56:51,076
What?
960
00:56:51,159 --> 00:56:53,412
No, somebody help! Hello! Hello!
961
00:56:53,495 --> 00:56:55,706
Somebody help, please! Hello!
962
00:56:55,789 --> 00:56:56,873
Fuck!
963
00:56:56,957 --> 00:56:58,709
They're gonna bomb
the town in two hours?
964
00:56:58,792 --> 00:56:59,835
What are we gonna do?
965
00:56:59,918 --> 00:57:01,044
We have to find Kendall and the others!
966
00:57:01,128 --> 00:57:02,671
It's a secret party.
They could be anywhere.
967
00:57:02,838 --> 00:57:03,839
Shit.
968
00:57:04,590 --> 00:57:05,757
My sister's diary!
969
00:57:06,133 --> 00:57:08,885
She writes every last
boring detail of her life in there.
970
00:57:08,969 --> 00:57:11,888
I guarantee she wrote down
where the party is.
971
00:57:11,972 --> 00:57:13,473
We better get fucking going, then.
972
00:57:39,333 --> 00:57:40,334
Okay, now.
973
00:57:55,724 --> 00:57:56,850
(GROWLING)
974
00:57:57,017 --> 00:57:58,101
(CATS SNARLING)
975
00:58:13,825 --> 00:58:15,202
(SOFTLY) All right, come on.
976
00:58:25,712 --> 00:58:28,298
Whew! It smells like
Pixy Stix and hope in here.
977
00:58:28,548 --> 00:58:31,051
You've never been in a girl's
room before, have you?
978
00:58:31,176 --> 00:58:33,261
- Yeah, I...
- Mom doesn't count.
979
00:58:33,345 --> 00:58:34,638
- Well...
- Any female relative doesn't count.
980
00:58:34,721 --> 00:58:37,182
Guys! Can we focus? Where's the diary?
981
00:58:37,641 --> 00:58:39,559
She changes the hiding place,
like, every week,
982
00:58:39,685 --> 00:58:41,228
so just spread out and start looking.
983
00:58:58,829 --> 00:59:00,330
- CARTER: Did you find it?
- Nope.
984
00:59:00,872 --> 00:59:02,582
Nothing over here.
985
00:59:13,135 --> 00:59:15,178
(SCUFFLING IN DISTANCE)
986
00:59:16,346 --> 00:59:17,347
Hey.
987
00:59:17,764 --> 00:59:18,849
Did you guys hear that?
988
00:59:18,932 --> 00:59:19,933
Hear what?
989
00:59:21,393 --> 00:59:23,395
BEN: I think I heard
something downstairs.
990
00:59:24,438 --> 00:59:25,772
Augie, go check it out.
991
00:59:25,856 --> 00:59:27,357
I'm not going down there by myself.
992
00:59:27,441 --> 00:59:28,900
- Go with him.
- Why me?
993
00:59:28,984 --> 00:59:30,902
Call me when your balls drop, dude.
994
00:59:35,407 --> 00:59:36,408
(STAIRS CREAKING)
995
00:59:36,908 --> 00:59:38,702
CARTER: (WHISPERING)
Shh! Don't walk so hard.
996
00:59:38,785 --> 00:59:40,954
AUGIE: You have squeaky floors.
997
00:59:43,039 --> 00:59:44,791
This is Carter's sister?
998
00:59:46,460 --> 00:59:47,794
Yeah. That's Kendall.
999
00:59:48,795 --> 00:59:50,797
Well, she clearly won the genetic lottery.
1000
00:59:51,131 --> 00:59:53,842
Yeah. She's okay. I guess.
1001
00:59:53,925 --> 00:59:55,218
Dude, she's more than okay.
1002
00:59:55,302 --> 00:59:56,970
You don't have to be all cool about it.
1003
00:59:58,597 --> 00:59:59,931
Shit.
1004
01:00:01,975 --> 01:00:03,643
Fuck. Come on.
1005
01:00:05,395 --> 01:00:07,397
So, how come
you haven't told her you like her?
1006
01:00:07,481 --> 01:00:08,815
What's the point?
1007
01:00:08,899 --> 01:00:10,901
She's never gonna go for a guy like me.
1008
01:00:10,984 --> 01:00:12,569
And she's got a boyfriend.
1009
01:00:12,652 --> 01:00:15,405
And Carter would kill me
if I touched his sister.
1010
01:00:15,489 --> 01:00:17,699
Okay, look. Here's the deal.
1011
01:00:17,783 --> 01:00:20,577
And don't take this the wrong way,
1012
01:00:20,660 --> 01:00:22,871
but you have to man up.
1013
01:00:22,954 --> 01:00:24,831
Yeah, but I suck at being that guy.
1014
01:00:24,915 --> 01:00:26,541
I'm not assertive like that.
1015
01:00:26,625 --> 01:00:27,626
Kiss me.
1016
01:00:28,084 --> 01:00:29,085
What?
1017
01:00:29,169 --> 01:00:30,649
Don't "what" me, just do it. Kiss me.
1018
01:00:31,588 --> 01:00:32,672
Are you serious?
1019
01:00:32,756 --> 01:00:34,341
Yeah, I'm serious.
I saw you checking out my ass earlier.
1020
01:00:34,466 --> 01:00:35,675
I know you want to do it. Just kiss me.
1021
01:00:35,801 --> 01:00:36,843
- No, I wasn't.
- Ben!
1022
01:00:36,968 --> 01:00:38,762
- Okay, for a second I did.
- Kiss me.
1023
01:00:39,846 --> 01:00:40,931
Denise, I...
1024
01:00:41,014 --> 01:00:42,516
You can do it. Just go for it.
1025
01:00:45,352 --> 01:00:46,603
- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
- Oh, fuck! Fuck.
1026
01:00:46,686 --> 01:00:48,286
- I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
1027
01:00:48,355 --> 01:00:49,356
See? I told you
we shouldn't have done that.
1028
01:00:49,439 --> 01:00:50,440
It was a bad idea.
1029
01:00:50,524 --> 01:00:51,858
No, no, no. Let's just try it again.
1030
01:00:51,942 --> 01:00:54,110
No, I feel stupid.
We should look for the diary.
1031
01:00:54,194 --> 01:00:55,362
Come here.
1032
01:01:08,500 --> 01:01:09,501
Not bad.
1033
01:01:10,293 --> 01:01:11,294
Really?
1034
01:01:11,378 --> 01:01:13,797
It wasn't, like, top five or anything.
Don't get excited.
1035
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:15,757
- But, yeah, it was okay.
- Oh.
1036
01:01:15,841 --> 01:01:18,552
When you see Kendall,
just walk straight up to her,
1037
01:01:18,635 --> 01:01:19,803
lay some of that shit on her,
1038
01:01:19,886 --> 01:01:21,388
and you're golden.
1039
01:01:22,180 --> 01:01:24,015
Okay. Thanks.
1040
01:01:29,396 --> 01:01:30,981
Guess we left it open.
1041
01:01:31,982 --> 01:01:32,983
Hey, Augie.
1042
01:01:36,736 --> 01:01:38,572
Ben didn't want to leave you tonight.
1043
01:01:40,782 --> 01:01:42,576
It was my idea.
1044
01:01:43,577 --> 01:01:45,161
What difference does it make?
1045
01:01:45,245 --> 01:01:46,580
It's done.
1046
01:01:51,167 --> 01:01:52,335
Yeah.
1047
01:01:57,090 --> 01:01:58,258
(GRUNTING)
1048
01:01:59,301 --> 01:02:00,302
(SCREAMING)
1049
01:02:00,510 --> 01:02:01,511
Oh, fuck!
1050
01:02:02,971 --> 01:02:04,431
(CARTER SCREAMING)
1051
01:02:13,023 --> 01:02:14,107
Come on.
1052
01:02:14,190 --> 01:02:15,950
DENISE: What the hell
is going on down there?
1053
01:02:16,026 --> 01:02:18,278
We're fine! Everything's under control!
1054
01:02:18,445 --> 01:02:19,446
(ROARING)
1055
01:02:41,384 --> 01:02:44,888
No! No, no, no, no. Fucking, no!
Not my ass!
1056
01:02:46,681 --> 01:02:48,058
Oh, no, no, no, no!
1057
01:02:51,144 --> 01:02:53,480
My ass! My ass!
1058
01:02:53,563 --> 01:02:55,815
She's gumming my ass!
1059
01:02:55,899 --> 01:02:57,317
Oh, my God!
1060
01:02:57,400 --> 01:02:58,401
AUGIE: Carter!
1061
01:02:58,735 --> 01:03:01,404
CARTER: Oh, God! Oh, it's disgusting!
1062
01:03:07,577 --> 01:03:09,162
Carter!
1063
01:03:11,289 --> 01:03:12,666
Peace out, bitch!
1064
01:03:16,586 --> 01:03:18,171
What the hell happened?
1065
01:03:18,755 --> 01:03:19,756
(SNARLING)
1066
01:03:19,839 --> 01:03:22,258
Shit. Back upstairs! Back upstairs!
1067
01:03:29,808 --> 01:03:31,101
Come on, come on!
1068
01:03:31,184 --> 01:03:32,769
DENISE: Move it!
1069
01:03:33,853 --> 01:03:35,230
That's not gonna hold them!
1070
01:03:35,313 --> 01:03:37,065
- Did you find the journal?
- No! We looked everywhere!
1071
01:03:37,148 --> 01:03:38,525
Guys, we got to go! Come on!
1072
01:03:41,194 --> 01:03:42,195
(SCREAMING)
1073
01:03:53,707 --> 01:03:55,458
Oh, my God! They're coming!
1074
01:03:57,210 --> 01:03:59,254
Guys, if we jump,
we might be able to clear the fence!
1075
01:03:59,337 --> 01:04:01,047
- What?
- Fuck it, let's just jump!
1076
01:04:01,131 --> 01:04:02,674
The fence is like 10 feet away!
1077
01:04:03,174 --> 01:04:05,301
- I'll go first!
- Go, go!
1078
01:04:11,224 --> 01:04:12,350
Okay. Go, go, go!
1079
01:04:19,315 --> 01:04:21,067
Augie, you got to go now!
1080
01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:23,361
Hurry!
1081
01:04:23,445 --> 01:04:24,487
I can't, I'm afraid of heights!
1082
01:04:24,571 --> 01:04:26,156
Be more afraid of zombies! Go!
1083
01:04:46,801 --> 01:04:47,802
(GASPS)
1084
01:05:04,402 --> 01:05:05,403
(SCREECHING)
1085
01:05:07,197 --> 01:05:08,948
Is that his wiener?
1086
01:05:10,533 --> 01:05:11,576
We got to do something.
1087
01:05:12,035 --> 01:05:13,870
Guys, help me! I'm falling!
1088
01:05:13,953 --> 01:05:15,872
Hang on to that cock, Ben!
1089
01:05:16,289 --> 01:05:18,208
Guys, hurry! Help me!
1090
01:05:19,876 --> 01:05:21,711
What are you doing?
1091
01:05:22,712 --> 01:05:25,048
Hey! Assholes! Come and get me.
1092
01:05:29,552 --> 01:05:30,887
BEN: Hurry!
1093
01:05:32,222 --> 01:05:33,223
It's ripping!
1094
01:05:36,726 --> 01:05:38,895
His dick's ripping!
1095
01:05:40,814 --> 01:05:41,981
(SCREAMING)
1096
01:05:57,539 --> 01:05:58,748
- I got it!
- Dude!
1097
01:05:58,832 --> 01:06:00,166
(EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)
1098
01:06:01,793 --> 01:06:03,044
- I got it.
- AUGIE: Where was it?
1099
01:06:03,128 --> 01:06:04,504
- Underwear drawer.
- Classic.
1100
01:06:05,547 --> 01:06:06,714
Run!
1101
01:06:11,261 --> 01:06:12,595
(WHISPERING) Lock it.
1102
01:06:12,929 --> 01:06:14,514
BEN: Augie, get the lights.
1103
01:06:15,598 --> 01:06:17,100
AUGIE: The power's out.
1104
01:06:17,684 --> 01:06:19,352
Where the hell are we?
1105
01:06:20,770 --> 01:06:22,105
BEN: Mrs. Fielder's house.
1106
01:06:22,355 --> 01:06:24,065
AUGIE: I can't believe we
just chopped her head off.
1107
01:06:24,149 --> 01:06:26,609
CARTER: She tried to eat my ass, Augie.
She deserved it.
1108
01:06:26,693 --> 01:06:28,862
Guys, we got to keep moving. Come on.
1109
01:06:43,459 --> 01:06:44,836
Carter, check the window.
1110
01:06:48,882 --> 01:06:50,675
Shit, they're everywhere.
1111
01:06:50,758 --> 01:06:52,260
Miss Fielder's car is in the garage.
1112
01:06:52,343 --> 01:06:54,387
Maybe we can get out that way.
This way.
1113
01:07:06,900 --> 01:07:07,901
(OBJECTS CLATTERING)
1114
01:07:09,986 --> 01:07:11,112
What was that?
1115
01:07:11,196 --> 01:07:12,739
I think something's in here.
1116
01:07:12,822 --> 01:07:13,823
(CAT MEOWING)
1117
01:07:14,574 --> 01:07:15,575
Fuck, cat.
1118
01:07:22,749 --> 01:07:23,750
Augie?
1119
01:07:23,833 --> 01:07:25,126
Dude, dude.
1120
01:07:25,210 --> 01:07:26,961
- BEN: Augie.
- What?
1121
01:07:27,045 --> 01:07:28,963
(WHISPERING) Don't move.
1122
01:07:33,134 --> 01:07:34,510
(SNARLING)
1123
01:07:34,594 --> 01:07:36,429
(ALL SCREAMING)
1124
01:07:40,266 --> 01:07:42,685
- Did you get it?
- I got it! I got it!
1125
01:07:44,145 --> 01:07:46,564
(CATS SNARLING)
1126
01:07:48,024 --> 01:07:49,400
Run!
1127
01:07:55,448 --> 01:07:57,784
Come on, come on, come on!
1128
01:07:58,534 --> 01:07:59,869
Open the garage door!
1129
01:07:59,953 --> 01:08:01,204
It won't open!
1130
01:08:01,537 --> 01:08:02,705
Go! Ben, go!
1131
01:08:02,872 --> 01:08:03,998
Fuck it!
1132
01:08:15,051 --> 01:08:16,891
(PANTING) Oh, my God.
It's Scout Leader Rogers!
1133
01:08:17,136 --> 01:08:18,137
(GROANING)
1134
01:08:18,221 --> 01:08:19,430
He looks like shit!
1135
01:08:19,514 --> 01:08:20,723
I set him on fire.
1136
01:08:21,099 --> 01:08:22,809
- What?
- He tried to eat me!
1137
01:08:27,563 --> 01:08:29,482
- Wait, what are you doing?
- No, don't...
1138
01:08:37,907 --> 01:08:39,325
Sorry, bro!
1139
01:08:40,660 --> 01:08:41,661
(MOANING)
1140
01:08:46,833 --> 01:08:48,459
(BELL CHIMING)
1141
01:08:56,801 --> 01:08:59,220
All right, the diary said they're at
the old rec center on Dewer Street.
1142
01:08:59,304 --> 01:09:00,847
Hopefully, we're not too late.
1143
01:09:00,930 --> 01:09:02,850
All right,
I'll try to get help as soon as I can.
1144
01:09:02,932 --> 01:09:04,517
Just be careful.
1145
01:09:12,442 --> 01:09:14,319
- Denise.
- Yeah?
1146
01:09:15,194 --> 01:09:17,447
Look, I don't know what's gonna happen,
1147
01:09:18,448 --> 01:09:19,824
but I just wanted to let you know that
1148
01:09:19,907 --> 01:09:21,707
you're one of
the coolest girls I've ever met.
1149
01:09:25,621 --> 01:09:27,874
And, uh, I hope
you meet someone that deserves you.
1150
01:09:29,459 --> 01:09:30,460
Thanks.
1151
01:09:59,989 --> 01:10:01,908
Guys, let's go.
We got to get to the party.
1152
01:10:01,991 --> 01:10:04,369
Ben, this is a suicide mission.
1153
01:10:04,452 --> 01:10:06,162
Guys, they're gonna
bomb this whole town
1154
01:10:06,245 --> 01:10:07,330
in less than two hours.
1155
01:10:07,413 --> 01:10:09,332
What if Denise reaches
the military in time?
1156
01:10:09,415 --> 01:10:11,209
And what if she doesn't, Carter?
Then what?
1157
01:10:11,292 --> 01:10:13,753
Who's gonna save them?
The police? They're gone.
1158
01:10:13,836 --> 01:10:16,839
The military? They're not coming, either.
1159
01:10:17,507 --> 01:10:19,842
Guys, we're the last line of defense.
1160
01:10:21,386 --> 01:10:23,846
And so what? Maybe we look
like dorks in these uniforms.
1161
01:10:23,930 --> 01:10:26,891
And maybe we're a big joke
to everyone at school.
1162
01:10:28,684 --> 01:10:30,686
But tonight,
1163
01:10:30,770 --> 01:10:33,051
we're gonna show them
what being a real Scout's all about.
1164
01:10:33,940 --> 01:10:38,069
So, are we just gonna stand here
with our thumbs up our asses?
1165
01:10:38,694 --> 01:10:41,280
Or are we gonna go out there
and save the world?
1166
01:10:42,615 --> 01:10:43,866
Fuck, yeah, dude.
1167
01:10:45,201 --> 01:10:46,702
That was a really good speech, Ben.
1168
01:10:47,453 --> 01:10:48,538
Thanks, Augie.
1169
01:10:48,621 --> 01:10:49,956
Let's do it.
1170
01:10:52,959 --> 01:10:54,710
The rec center's that way.
1171
01:10:56,379 --> 01:10:58,381
We're making a pit stop first.
1172
01:10:59,173 --> 01:11:00,883
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
1173
01:12:10,620 --> 01:12:12,371
(LAUGHING) Are you serious?
1174
01:12:13,414 --> 01:12:16,709
None of my text messages
are going through, Travis.
1175
01:12:16,792 --> 01:12:18,294
Don't worry about that, baby.
1176
01:12:18,377 --> 01:12:20,129
Where are you taking me?
1177
01:12:21,005 --> 01:12:22,882
- Um, it's a surprise.
- (CHLOE SQUEALS)
1178
01:12:22,965 --> 01:12:25,285
- You need a little spanking, don't you?
- (CHLOE CHUCKLES)
1179
01:12:26,719 --> 01:12:27,720
Ew.
1180
01:12:28,137 --> 01:12:29,805
Travis, what the fuck?
1181
01:12:30,139 --> 01:12:31,140
Come on.
1182
01:12:31,557 --> 01:12:33,643
Okay, this place is disgusting.
1183
01:12:34,894 --> 01:12:36,479
I need to examine you.
1184
01:12:36,562 --> 01:12:38,064
- Get over here.
- Oh, okay.
1185
01:12:40,983 --> 01:12:42,985
God, you're so sexy.
1186
01:12:43,319 --> 01:12:44,487
Thank you.
1187
01:12:46,322 --> 01:12:48,491
Okay, we're not about to fuck right now.
1188
01:12:48,574 --> 01:12:49,825
Why not?
1189
01:12:50,409 --> 01:12:52,912
Because we've only
been dating for, like, two minutes.
1190
01:12:52,995 --> 01:12:53,996
What about a blow job?
1191
01:12:54,080 --> 01:12:56,666
Travis, I spent an hour
trying to find this piece of gum.
1192
01:12:57,667 --> 01:12:59,001
Sucks.
1193
01:13:01,170 --> 01:13:03,589
Okay, fine. You can eat me out.
1194
01:13:03,673 --> 01:13:05,591
- Really?
- Yes. You're welcome.
1195
01:13:14,267 --> 01:13:15,518
WOMAN: (ON PHONE)
When I'm in jail
1196
01:13:15,601 --> 01:13:17,603
the first thing you do
is talk to another chick.
1197
01:13:17,687 --> 01:13:19,021
- (GROWLING)
- What the fuck?
1198
01:13:22,858 --> 01:13:25,361
Hey, pervert, fuck off!
1199
01:13:29,198 --> 01:13:30,700
You serious, bro?
1200
01:13:33,786 --> 01:13:34,787
(GASPS)
1201
01:13:37,164 --> 01:13:39,375
I was in jail!
1202
01:13:39,458 --> 01:13:40,459
(TRAVIS SCREAMING)
1203
01:13:41,877 --> 01:13:44,130
Hello? Are you going to do it or what?
1204
01:13:57,768 --> 01:14:01,689
Ooh! Your mouth's kind of cold.
1205
01:14:05,985 --> 01:14:06,986
(SCREAMS)
1206
01:14:12,074 --> 01:14:13,075
Stop.
1207
01:14:14,076 --> 01:14:16,245
- Stop!
- Come on, babe.
1208
01:14:16,329 --> 01:14:18,247
- Stop it!
- What the fuck's your problem?
1209
01:14:18,331 --> 01:14:19,498
I'm worried about my brother.
1210
01:14:19,582 --> 01:14:21,167
He should've been here hours ago.
1211
01:14:21,250 --> 01:14:22,376
He's not coming, babe.
1212
01:14:22,460 --> 01:14:23,753
How do you know?
1213
01:14:23,836 --> 01:14:26,172
Because I gave him the wrong address.
1214
01:14:26,255 --> 01:14:28,341
- What?
- They're Scouts, Kendall!
1215
01:14:28,424 --> 01:14:30,926
Look, what'd you think,
I was gonna invite them for real?
1216
01:14:31,010 --> 01:14:33,512
- Come here.
- You are such a dick!
1217
01:14:33,596 --> 01:14:35,473
- What? You're not leaving.
- Watch me!
1218
01:14:35,556 --> 01:14:36,891
You're not going!
1219
01:14:38,726 --> 01:14:40,353
- Fine, go, bitch!
- (KENDALL SCREAMS)
1220
01:14:43,189 --> 01:14:45,858
Oh, Jesus, girl.
Get a fucking tampon, would you?
1221
01:14:46,400 --> 01:14:48,736
(SCREAMING)
1222
01:14:56,619 --> 01:14:57,953
Someone help!
1223
01:14:59,664 --> 01:15:02,208
Help! Please, someone help!
1224
01:15:11,509 --> 01:15:13,928
(ALL SCREAMING)
1225
01:15:35,658 --> 01:15:36,659
(SCREAMING)
1226
01:15:46,752 --> 01:15:48,254
- (SNARLING)
- (SCREAMING)
1227
01:15:55,261 --> 01:15:56,637
(WHISTLING)
1228
01:16:01,517 --> 01:16:03,561
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1229
01:16:11,068 --> 01:16:13,779
All right, Scouts,
let's kick some zombie ass.
1230
01:16:14,780 --> 01:16:16,073
(WHIRRING)
1231
01:16:49,273 --> 01:16:50,441
(MOUTHING) Boom.
1232
01:17:06,999 --> 01:17:08,000
Chloe?
1233
01:17:08,167 --> 01:17:09,168
Oh, man.
1234
01:17:09,335 --> 01:17:10,336
(GROWLS)
1235
01:17:11,962 --> 01:17:12,963
Nailed it.
1236
01:17:35,986 --> 01:17:37,530
What a dick.
1237
01:17:41,659 --> 01:17:43,035
Ben, they're everywhere!
1238
01:17:43,327 --> 01:17:44,703
Circle up!
1239
01:17:50,292 --> 01:17:51,293
You want some of this?
1240
01:17:51,377 --> 01:17:54,004
You assholes! Die!
1241
01:17:54,338 --> 01:17:57,174
Come on! You want a piece of me?
1242
01:17:59,677 --> 01:18:01,637
Ben! Ben!
1243
01:18:01,720 --> 01:18:03,514
Help!
1244
01:18:08,602 --> 01:18:09,728
Ben!
1245
01:18:09,854 --> 01:18:11,230
Hang on, Kendall! I'm coming!
1246
01:18:13,524 --> 01:18:14,692
Oh, shit.
1247
01:18:15,025 --> 01:18:16,694
Oh, shit. Shit, start! Come on!
1248
01:18:17,027 --> 01:18:18,362
Ben, look out!
1249
01:18:18,529 --> 01:18:19,530
Shit.
1250
01:18:30,875 --> 01:18:32,543
AUGIE: Ben, duck!
1251
01:18:38,757 --> 01:18:39,758
Ben!
1252
01:18:40,718 --> 01:18:43,220
Kendall, come down! Climb down, hurry!
1253
01:18:46,098 --> 01:18:47,600
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I think so.
1254
01:18:47,725 --> 01:18:49,059
CARTER: Guys, come on!
1255
01:18:49,143 --> 01:18:50,436
- Come on.
- Come on!
1256
01:18:50,728 --> 01:18:53,439
We got to get everyone out of here!
Let's go!
1257
01:18:53,898 --> 01:18:56,734
Everybody! Get to the stairs! Come on!
1258
01:19:03,574 --> 01:19:04,617
Let's go!
1259
01:19:04,742 --> 01:19:06,243
Come on, everybody, move!
1260
01:19:06,577 --> 01:19:10,247
Hurry up! Come on, come on! Let's go!
1261
01:19:10,456 --> 01:19:11,582
Let's go!
1262
01:19:11,916 --> 01:19:13,417
Let's go! Come on!
1263
01:19:13,584 --> 01:19:14,627
Oh, shit!
1264
01:19:19,590 --> 01:19:20,674
What are you doing?
1265
01:19:20,758 --> 01:19:22,509
They'll follow you if we don't
lock the doors! You gotta go!
1266
01:19:22,593 --> 01:19:24,313
- What about you?
- You got to go! Trust me!
1267
01:19:24,470 --> 01:19:25,804
I'm not leaving you! No!
1268
01:19:25,971 --> 01:19:27,765
Go! Go! Trust me!
1269
01:19:35,814 --> 01:19:37,149
- I'm out!
- Oh, shit!
1270
01:19:37,316 --> 01:19:39,818
There's too many of them!
Come on, let's go! Hurry!
1271
01:19:40,277 --> 01:19:41,320
Let's go!
1272
01:19:41,987 --> 01:19:42,988
Oh, fuck!
1273
01:19:43,989 --> 01:19:45,199
Let's go!
1274
01:19:45,282 --> 01:19:46,450
Come on!
1275
01:19:51,664 --> 01:19:53,457
BEN: Hurry, come on!
1276
01:19:53,958 --> 01:19:55,292
CARTER: Go, Augie, go!
1277
01:19:56,293 --> 01:19:58,128
Run! Run!
1278
01:20:09,598 --> 01:20:11,350
Where's the door?
1279
01:20:11,433 --> 01:20:13,519
There's got to be another exit.
1280
01:20:13,602 --> 01:20:15,020
I don't see one!
1281
01:20:15,104 --> 01:20:16,772
- We're trapped.
- BEN: Shit.
1282
01:20:17,106 --> 01:20:18,546
- There's no way out of here.
- Fuck.
1283
01:20:20,776 --> 01:20:22,194
- What do we do?
- Give me your backpack.
1284
01:20:22,361 --> 01:20:24,363
What? What are you doing?
1285
01:20:29,702 --> 01:20:31,370
- What is that?
- It's a bomb.
1286
01:20:31,704 --> 01:20:32,746
You made a bomb?
1287
01:20:32,830 --> 01:20:34,039
What are you, the Taliban?
1288
01:20:34,164 --> 01:20:37,084
Either we die fast or we're eaten alive
and turn into one of those things!
1289
01:20:38,210 --> 01:20:39,670
Your choice.
1290
01:20:39,753 --> 01:20:40,754
(BANGING ON DOOR)
1291
01:20:42,297 --> 01:20:44,049
- Shit.
- Carter, give me your lighter.
1292
01:20:45,300 --> 01:20:46,301
CARTER: Here.
1293
01:20:50,723 --> 01:20:52,057
Are you guys ready?
1294
01:20:56,353 --> 01:20:58,022
- Wait!
- What?
1295
01:20:58,564 --> 01:20:59,606
I need to say something.
1296
01:20:59,690 --> 01:21:00,983
Ben, it's fine.
1297
01:21:01,066 --> 01:21:02,826
- You don't have to do this.
- BEN: No, I do.
1298
01:21:03,485 --> 01:21:05,365
We should have never
ditched you tonight, Augie.
1299
01:21:05,821 --> 01:21:07,906
What we did was really messed up.
1300
01:21:07,990 --> 01:21:10,325
He's right.
We've been complete D-bags.
1301
01:21:10,826 --> 01:21:12,619
It's my fault.
I never should have made you guys think
1302
01:21:12,703 --> 01:21:14,246
you had to be in Scouts for just me.
1303
01:21:14,329 --> 01:21:15,914
No, that's just it!
1304
01:21:15,998 --> 01:21:18,292
I thought I wanted out,
but I was just worried
1305
01:21:18,375 --> 01:21:21,253
what other people were gonna think.
The truth is,
1306
01:21:22,671 --> 01:21:24,506
I love being a Scout.
1307
01:21:25,507 --> 01:21:28,510
And I love it because
it's the reason I met you guys.
1308
01:21:31,597 --> 01:21:34,767
And I know tonight's been
really crazy and fucked up,
1309
01:21:34,850 --> 01:21:36,268
but one good thing has happened.
1310
01:21:36,685 --> 01:21:38,395
And it's this, right now.
1311
01:21:39,646 --> 01:21:40,731
Us.
1312
01:21:40,898 --> 01:21:42,524
Being back together.
1313
01:21:45,194 --> 01:21:46,528
Scouts forever.
1314
01:21:49,448 --> 01:21:51,033
Scouts forever.
1315
01:21:53,202 --> 01:21:54,203
AUGIE: Scouts forever.
1316
01:21:55,454 --> 01:21:56,914
(BANGING)
1317
01:22:00,793 --> 01:22:03,212
Ben? Is it really lame
if I hold your hand right now?
1318
01:22:03,545 --> 01:22:04,546
No.
1319
01:22:07,800 --> 01:22:09,635
Oh, God damn it. This stupid thing!
1320
01:22:10,719 --> 01:22:12,387
- What are you doing?
- It's out of fluid!
1321
01:22:12,471 --> 01:22:13,722
Here. Give me that.
1322
01:22:14,640 --> 01:22:16,100
Wait, do you have another lighter?
1323
01:22:19,895 --> 01:22:22,064
God damn it, Augie,
we were supposed to die fast!
1324
01:22:24,566 --> 01:22:26,068
This is gonna hurt so bad.
1325
01:22:26,151 --> 01:22:27,653
Come on, Augie, you can do it!
1326
01:22:27,736 --> 01:22:29,988
Don't pressure me! I hate that!
1327
01:22:31,698 --> 01:22:34,118
Yo, dipshits!
You just gonna sit there or what?
1328
01:22:35,494 --> 01:22:37,079
Where'd she come from?
1329
01:22:39,456 --> 01:22:40,916
BEN: Augie, leave it!
1330
01:22:41,708 --> 01:22:43,418
(SCREAMING)
1331
01:22:48,382 --> 01:22:49,383
BEN: Augie, let's go!
1332
01:22:55,848 --> 01:22:56,849
(SHOUTING)
1333
01:23:10,445 --> 01:23:11,864
(SCREAMING)
1334
01:23:27,796 --> 01:23:29,214
Are you guys okay?
1335
01:23:29,298 --> 01:23:31,383
I'm alive. I'm alive!
1336
01:23:31,466 --> 01:23:33,218
Oh, my God! Augie!
1337
01:23:33,302 --> 01:23:35,304
- Dude! You're a genius!
- It worked!
1338
01:23:35,387 --> 01:23:36,805
That was fucking awesome!
1339
01:23:36,889 --> 01:23:38,223
- Fuck, yeah, man!
- It worked!
1340
01:23:38,390 --> 01:23:39,391
(SNARLING)
1341
01:23:40,309 --> 01:23:41,602
What the fuck?
1342
01:23:42,060 --> 01:23:43,812
Is that Scout Leader Rogers?
1343
01:23:46,315 --> 01:23:48,442
You got to hand it to him.
The man is a fighter.
1344
01:23:49,735 --> 01:23:52,321
Oh, shit. Does anybody have a weapon?
1345
01:23:52,404 --> 01:23:54,907
There's got to be
something around here.
1346
01:24:01,538 --> 01:24:03,540
(AIR WHISTLING)
1347
01:24:06,585 --> 01:24:07,586
(MOANING)
1348
01:24:09,755 --> 01:24:10,756
Ah!
1349
01:24:12,674 --> 01:24:15,302
Every goddamn time! Ugh!
1350
01:24:26,688 --> 01:24:28,106
Now you decide to show up.
1351
01:24:31,401 --> 01:24:32,653
(GUNS COCKING)
1352
01:24:49,461 --> 01:24:51,630
MAN: (OVER RADIO) Evacuation fleet
moving to secondary location.
1353
01:24:51,713 --> 01:24:53,131
DENISE: Dude, you look like shit.
1354
01:24:53,215 --> 01:24:54,455
Yeah, well, what do you expect?
1355
01:24:54,508 --> 01:24:55,634
I've been killing zombies all night.
1356
01:24:55,717 --> 01:24:57,357
Yeah, you were kind of badass last night.
1357
01:24:58,887 --> 01:25:00,389
Well, thanks for coming back.
1358
01:25:00,472 --> 01:25:01,807
Somebody's got to keep saving your ass.
1359
01:25:01,890 --> 01:25:03,225
Yeah, I guess so.
1360
01:25:03,892 --> 01:25:07,229
So, um, are we gonna
hang out after this, or...
1361
01:25:07,646 --> 01:25:09,731
Come on, I feel like
the four of us are a team now.
1362
01:25:09,815 --> 01:25:10,857
Relax, dude.
1363
01:25:10,983 --> 01:25:13,485
You've got some business
to take care of right now.
1364
01:25:17,781 --> 01:25:19,616
Go for it. You got this.
1365
01:25:20,450 --> 01:25:22,536
- All right.
- Go.
1366
01:25:27,791 --> 01:25:30,127
I am so happy that you're okay.
1367
01:25:33,255 --> 01:25:37,050
Oh, that's so sweet. Up top!
1368
01:25:37,301 --> 01:25:38,885
Dude, I'm not high-fiving that.
1369
01:25:38,969 --> 01:25:40,053
Come on.
1370
01:25:40,137 --> 01:25:42,055
You think I'm high-fiving that?
1371
01:25:42,139 --> 01:25:43,724
- Come on!
- (CHANTING GIBBERISH)
1372
01:25:44,141 --> 01:25:45,475
Aww, look at them!
1373
01:25:49,688 --> 01:25:51,023
Who are you?
1374
01:25:51,523 --> 01:25:52,858
I'm a Scout.
1375
01:25:57,487 --> 01:25:58,530
All right, well, this just means
1376
01:25:58,655 --> 01:25:59,895
- I'm gonna fuck his mom.
- Hey!
1377
01:25:59,948 --> 01:26:01,116
What?
1378
01:26:01,199 --> 01:26:03,869
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1379
01:28:18,879 --> 01:28:21,131
(MOANING)
1380
01:28:25,177 --> 01:28:26,178
(SPLATTERS)
1381
01:28:26,344 --> 01:28:28,013
Come on.
1382
01:28:30,223 --> 01:28:31,516
The end.