1
00:01:07,947 --> 00:01:09,657
Lookie here.
2
00:01:09,741 --> 00:01:12,369
My day is made.
3
00:01:12,452 --> 00:01:16,414
I didn't even finish breakfast
and I get to kill me a stinkin' injun.
4
00:01:17,832 --> 00:01:18,833
Injun?
5
00:01:19,917 --> 00:01:21,335
Nah.
6
00:01:21,419 --> 00:01:25,047
I just dress like this so's I don't get
scalped out on the prairie.
7
00:01:25,131 --> 00:01:28,175
Oh, well, that's a convincing outfit.
8
00:01:28,259 --> 00:01:31,638
Yeah, you can't be too safe out there...
9
00:01:31,721 --> 00:01:34,265
With all of them savages runnin' around.
10
00:01:34,348 --> 00:01:36,142
So, what can I do you for?
11
00:01:36,225 --> 00:01:39,437
Need some flour.
Five sacks.
12
00:01:39,521 --> 00:01:42,774
And a carrot with peanut butter on it.
13
00:01:42,857 --> 00:01:44,359
Now, what's that gonna run me?
14
00:01:44,442 --> 00:01:47,362
Well, sack of flour's 45 cents.
15
00:01:47,445 --> 00:01:49,697
So, five sacks...
16
00:01:51,449 --> 00:01:52,742
Is 40...
17
00:01:52,825 --> 00:01:54,536
Wanna get back to me on that?
18
00:01:55,370 --> 00:01:56,579
Yeah, look...
19
00:01:56,663 --> 00:01:58,289
Now, the flour's in the basement.
20
00:01:58,373 --> 00:02:00,583
You can fetch it yourself.
21
00:02:00,667 --> 00:02:01,709
Much obliged.
22
00:02:20,352 --> 00:02:22,689
Well, lookie what we got here.
23
00:02:23,272 --> 00:02:27,026
Sweet piece of red prairie meat
out all by her lonesome.
24
00:02:27,944 --> 00:02:31,739
-What do you make of that, Nelly?
-Oh, I think she's waiting on you, will.
25
00:02:35,868 --> 00:02:37,328
- Go on, get on it.
- It's on now.
26
00:02:37,412 --> 00:02:38,705
- Yeah.
- Go get her, will.
27
00:02:38,788 --> 00:02:39,789
Oh, oh, oh.
28
00:02:39,872 --> 00:02:41,123
Here we go.
29
00:02:42,166 --> 00:02:47,464
Now, you must be wondering why five badass
hombres with perfect jawlines...
30
00:02:50,341 --> 00:02:53,678
All sport the same stylish eye patch.
31
00:02:53,761 --> 00:02:55,722
Not my business.
32
00:02:55,805 --> 00:03:00,267
We all carved our eyeballs
out our skull
33
00:03:00,351 --> 00:03:03,813
to show how devoted
we are to this gang.
34
00:03:03,896 --> 00:03:05,147
We the left-eye boys!
35
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:08,776
Yeah!
36
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,445
Hey!
37
00:03:11,529 --> 00:03:14,323
You got real pretty eyes, miss.
38
00:03:14,406 --> 00:03:16,534
You reckon we can,
i don't know, borrow one?
39
00:03:16,618 --> 00:03:18,620
Can we borrow one?
40
00:03:23,708 --> 00:03:26,460
Now, is that a proper question
to ask a lady?
41
00:03:26,544 --> 00:03:29,589
Who are you, slick?
The boyfriend?
42
00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:32,884
Soon to be the husband.
43
00:03:34,927 --> 00:03:38,222
Oh, wait a minute!
That's a white boy under that getup.
44
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:41,100
That's a white boy? Oh, shit.
45
00:03:41,183 --> 00:03:44,395
You partial to pale faces, poca-hot-tits?
46
00:03:44,479 --> 00:03:45,480
Huh?
47
00:03:45,563 --> 00:03:48,024
'Cause I can show you
what a real white man's like.
48
00:03:48,107 --> 00:03:51,486
-Yeah, show her, will. Yeah, go on.
-Yeah, shuffle up, will.
49
00:03:51,569 --> 00:03:52,987
-Dance now, boy.
-Shuffle on over.
50
00:03:53,070 --> 00:03:55,740
-There you go.
-That's some white boy shit right there.
51
00:03:55,823 --> 00:03:57,575
Now, I do want to carve my eyes out.
52
00:03:57,659 --> 00:03:59,201
-What'd you say?
-Hey, fellers...
53
00:03:59,285 --> 00:04:02,246
I'd hit the trail before you get hurt.
54
00:04:02,955 --> 00:04:05,124
Before we get hurt?
55
00:04:05,207 --> 00:04:07,794
Before we get hurt.
56
00:04:07,877 --> 00:04:11,839
I think you've been smokin' too much
of that peace pipe, kemo-slobby.
57
00:04:11,923 --> 00:04:15,384
Now, from what I see, there's one of you,
58
00:04:15,467 --> 00:04:17,804
and there's five of us.
59
00:04:23,643 --> 00:04:24,644
Four of you.
60
00:04:25,436 --> 00:04:26,478
What just happened?
61
00:04:26,563 --> 00:04:27,855
You wanna see it again?
62
00:04:27,939 --> 00:04:30,692
Uh... yes.
63
00:04:41,786 --> 00:04:44,080
-I don't like this shit.
-Shut up.
64
00:04:44,872 --> 00:04:48,292
Well, that's some, uh...
Real fancy footwork.
65
00:04:49,001 --> 00:04:53,130
But I think this hullabaloo has escalated
to the firearms stage.
66
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:04,475
Boys, let's ventilate this.
67
00:05:26,497 --> 00:05:29,250
What the shit that just happened?
68
00:05:36,716 --> 00:05:41,053
What the hell?
What in the hell?
69
00:05:45,182 --> 00:05:47,644
"Hit the trail."
It was so simple.
70
00:05:48,811 --> 00:05:52,189
You must stop doing this, white knife.
One day, there will be too many.
71
00:05:52,273 --> 00:05:54,400
But not today, smoking fox.
72
00:05:54,483 --> 00:05:57,403
Please, my love...
We must go.
73
00:05:57,987 --> 00:06:00,197
What the hell
happened out here?
74
00:06:00,281 --> 00:06:02,491
Injuns.
They went that way.
75
00:06:02,574 --> 00:06:04,201
You ain't no white man.
76
00:06:04,285 --> 00:06:07,496
You're that orphan, white knife.
77
00:06:07,579 --> 00:06:11,208
Raised like an animal with those apaches.
78
00:06:11,292 --> 00:06:13,377
You think you can fool ol' clem?
79
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,586
Sorry, Ringo.
80
00:06:14,671 --> 00:06:18,632
Well, now I'm gonna shoot you
and your injun whore.
81
00:06:18,716 --> 00:06:19,884
Gotta cut breakfast short.
82
00:06:25,014 --> 00:06:27,349
You suck, mister!
83
00:06:28,142 --> 00:06:30,144
You suck!
84
00:06:32,689 --> 00:06:35,024
What are you?
85
00:06:57,755 --> 00:06:59,215
Yes, white knife.
86
00:06:59,298 --> 00:07:00,549
Go, white knife.
87
00:07:04,929 --> 00:07:06,973
Yay!
88
00:07:07,056 --> 00:07:08,683
You lucky, smoking fox.
89
00:07:08,766 --> 00:07:11,853
White knife all man.
Bravest of all braves.
90
00:07:13,187 --> 00:07:15,272
Not brave. Foolish.
91
00:07:15,356 --> 00:07:17,734
I want to be wife, not widow.
92
00:07:22,613 --> 00:07:23,865
Afternoon, ladies.
93
00:07:30,204 --> 00:07:31,622
This is apache land.
94
00:07:31,706 --> 00:07:34,416
I'm not here to take your land, chief.
95
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:37,419
I'm just looking for a particular boy.
96
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:40,297
I'm frank stockburn.
97
00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:43,092
This boy's mother was my wife.
98
00:07:44,593 --> 00:07:46,053
And the boy, Tommy...
99
00:07:47,138 --> 00:07:48,639
He's my son.
100
00:08:03,195 --> 00:08:05,948
It is wise to be slow to trust,
white knife.
101
00:08:06,032 --> 00:08:09,368
But every new journey begins
with a single step.
102
00:08:10,452 --> 00:08:12,204
Speak with your father.
103
00:08:13,205 --> 00:08:15,374
But you are my father,
screaming eagle.
104
00:08:16,375 --> 00:08:17,752
Ever since my mother...
105
00:08:19,295 --> 00:08:21,798
Ever since you found me...
106
00:08:21,881 --> 00:08:24,133
You taught me to hunt,
to fight...
107
00:08:24,216 --> 00:08:27,344
When to speak and when to be silent.
108
00:08:27,428 --> 00:08:29,638
-To be a man.
-A good man.
109
00:08:29,721 --> 00:08:31,348
And this frank stockburn,
110
00:08:31,432 --> 00:08:34,894
he is filled with lies,
just like every other white man.
111
00:08:35,394 --> 00:08:38,689
Sometimes, the white man speaks the truth.
112
00:08:38,773 --> 00:08:41,483
Like, one in 20, 25 times.
113
00:08:42,860 --> 00:08:45,279
I believe this is one of those times.
114
00:08:47,031 --> 00:08:48,783
He knew your mother, white knife.
115
00:08:48,866 --> 00:08:52,744
Maybe he can give you some peace.
Talk to him.
116
00:08:52,829 --> 00:08:55,414
Maybe after I close my eyes to dream.
117
00:09:17,603 --> 00:09:20,356
Mommy!
118
00:09:46,548 --> 00:09:47,925
Oh, no.
119
00:09:53,430 --> 00:09:58,978
One look at me, and you knew your old man
had done a lot of bad things, didn't ya?
120
00:09:59,061 --> 00:10:02,523
I cheated men, I killed men...
121
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:06,944
So I deserve whatever's comin' to me.
122
00:10:08,779 --> 00:10:12,616
The only one that ever saw any good in me
was your mother.
123
00:10:16,328 --> 00:10:17,371
Oh!
124
00:10:17,454 --> 00:10:18,956
Why have you come here?
125
00:10:19,623 --> 00:10:23,169
Not a man for chitchat, huh?
126
00:10:24,211 --> 00:10:26,338
Well, me neither.
127
00:10:27,464 --> 00:10:29,841
Kid, I'm dying...
128
00:10:30,968 --> 00:10:32,428
Of consumption.
129
00:10:36,473 --> 00:10:38,225
Don't worry...
130
00:10:38,309 --> 00:10:43,439
I'm not looking
for no big father-son hoo-ah.
131
00:10:44,023 --> 00:10:45,024
"I love you, son."
132
00:10:45,107 --> 00:10:46,817
"I love you too, daddy."
133
00:10:52,531 --> 00:10:53,740
No.
134
00:10:55,617 --> 00:10:59,621
I've come for a more tangible reason.
135
00:11:03,875 --> 00:11:09,173
Tommy, I've been stealing from folks
since I was nine years old...
136
00:11:10,049 --> 00:11:15,387
And that's the way I've amassed
a good little fortune.
137
00:11:15,846 --> 00:11:19,100
I wanna do something
decent with it.
138
00:11:20,851 --> 00:11:23,020
I want to give it to you, son.
139
00:11:27,733 --> 00:11:29,276
I don't want your money.
140
00:11:30,736 --> 00:11:32,946
But maybe you could give...
141
00:11:33,030 --> 00:11:37,409
$50,000 to these nice injuns
who raised you.
142
00:11:37,493 --> 00:11:38,702
We'll take it.
143
00:11:39,870 --> 00:11:40,954
Go back to bed.
144
00:11:41,497 --> 00:11:42,581
Sorry.
145
00:11:42,664 --> 00:11:44,458
Seriously, though,
we'll take it.
146
00:11:44,541 --> 00:11:48,004
Look, it's buried in the Meadow
just up the trail,
147
00:11:48,087 --> 00:11:50,172
next to a big ol' pine tree.
148
00:11:50,256 --> 00:11:52,633
What do you say
we go dig it up in the morning
149
00:11:52,716 --> 00:11:55,719
and start playing Santa claus?
150
00:11:56,887 --> 00:11:59,473
I don't remember much about my mother...
151
00:12:00,474 --> 00:12:03,019
But I do remember her telling me...
152
00:12:05,062 --> 00:12:06,438
You were dead.
153
00:12:11,652 --> 00:12:14,238
Maybe it was because...
154
00:12:14,321 --> 00:12:17,658
She didn't want
you to come looking for me.
155
00:12:17,741 --> 00:12:19,826
She was a smart lady.
156
00:12:20,994 --> 00:12:24,956
Only stupid thing she ever did
was fall for me.
157
00:12:25,749 --> 00:12:27,584
Meeting Betty dunson...
158
00:12:28,252 --> 00:12:31,463
Was the luckiest thing
that ever happened to me.
159
00:12:34,591 --> 00:12:37,886
From the first day I laid eyes on her...
160
00:12:38,554 --> 00:12:40,806
She was bawlin' out this...
161
00:12:40,889 --> 00:12:45,811
Half-drunk, big ol' burly blacksmith...
162
00:12:45,894 --> 00:12:48,439
Down at silver canyon.
163
00:12:49,273 --> 00:12:51,608
She's been the only one, Tommy.
164
00:12:58,782 --> 00:13:00,326
Mom had a temper?
165
00:13:01,243 --> 00:13:06,373
Temper?
When she got her dander up, look out.
166
00:13:06,457 --> 00:13:08,292
We was in a saloon once.
167
00:13:08,375 --> 00:13:10,544
This fellow sitting next to her
168
00:13:10,627 --> 00:13:15,632
starts talking about the perfect way
to make a cherry pie...
169
00:13:16,717 --> 00:13:20,512
So your mom says to me,
"frank, come here a minute.
170
00:13:20,596 --> 00:13:24,350
Tell me again,
just where did you get them flowers?"
171
00:13:24,433 --> 00:13:28,479
I said, "i know that you think
i stole them from the graveyard."
172
00:13:30,314 --> 00:13:32,316
Good morning, boys.
173
00:13:33,234 --> 00:13:34,818
Morning, never wears bra.
174
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:37,738
I had dream about you last night,
white knife.
175
00:13:37,821 --> 00:13:39,656
Oh, that's nice.
176
00:13:39,740 --> 00:13:40,991
Not nice dream.
177
00:13:41,533 --> 00:13:44,203
In dream, you naughty.
178
00:13:44,286 --> 00:13:46,413
You naughty, white knife.
179
00:13:46,497 --> 00:13:48,749
Mmm, somebody's got an admirer.
180
00:13:48,832 --> 00:13:50,876
Yes, yes.
181
00:13:50,959 --> 00:13:53,962
But like you,
there's only one woman for me.
182
00:13:58,425 --> 00:14:01,137
I guess we stockburns are...
183
00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:02,971
Partial to the sweet ones.
184
00:14:03,054 --> 00:14:04,431
Yes, sir.
185
00:14:04,515 --> 00:14:06,308
Like your mother.
186
00:14:08,644 --> 00:14:11,104
How did she die, Tommy?
187
00:14:12,273 --> 00:14:13,482
You tell me?
188
00:14:14,566 --> 00:14:20,531
Well, there were these big kids at school
fixin' to beat me up.
189
00:14:22,158 --> 00:14:26,578
Instead of facing them myself,
i had her walk me there.
190
00:14:27,454 --> 00:14:29,665
This feller comes out of nowhere...
191
00:14:30,541 --> 00:14:33,377
Walks right up to her and shoots her dead.
192
00:14:35,129 --> 00:14:38,424
So that's how she died,
protecting her gutless son
193
00:14:38,507 --> 00:14:42,594
instead of being home,
safe where she belonged.
194
00:14:48,267 --> 00:14:50,894
Who's that?
Is that bony express?
195
00:14:51,562 --> 00:14:53,855
Bony express
don't come around here.
196
00:14:55,899 --> 00:14:57,443
Giddyap!
197
00:15:10,706 --> 00:15:11,873
He's here somewhere, boys.
198
00:15:11,957 --> 00:15:13,167
Let's burn him out!
199
00:15:14,751 --> 00:15:15,794
Oh...
200
00:15:15,877 --> 00:15:17,796
Next one goes through your forehead.
201
00:15:18,672 --> 00:15:21,633
Hey, hey!
No need to burn nothing, boys!
202
00:15:21,717 --> 00:15:23,719
Howdy, boss.
203
00:15:23,802 --> 00:15:24,928
Cicero...
204
00:15:26,388 --> 00:15:29,933
You're not gonna let a man
enjoy his retirement, are ya?
205
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:34,563
No, frank, I salute your decision
to turn from your sinful ways.
206
00:15:34,646 --> 00:15:36,398
But the money...
207
00:15:36,482 --> 00:15:38,192
That belongs to all of us.
208
00:15:38,275 --> 00:15:39,610
Touch that steel, boy,
209
00:15:39,693 --> 00:15:42,863
I got plenty of bullets left over
after I put one in...
210
00:15:45,824 --> 00:15:46,825
Your father.
211
00:15:48,702 --> 00:15:51,788
Oh, you finally found your long lost son.
212
00:15:51,872 --> 00:15:55,209
Well, I sure hate to break up
this nice family reunion.
213
00:15:55,292 --> 00:15:58,587
So, why don't you give us
the money you stole
214
00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:01,465
before I put lead in your head.
215
00:16:07,554 --> 00:16:08,764
The money's buried.
216
00:16:09,348 --> 00:16:11,057
Way to run your mouth, son.
217
00:16:11,141 --> 00:16:12,559
It's buried?
218
00:16:12,643 --> 00:16:14,395
Yeah, I buried it.
219
00:16:14,478 --> 00:16:17,981
Deep in the ground...
Next to a windmill.
220
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:20,359
A windmill in the west...
221
00:16:20,442 --> 00:16:22,569
Doesn't narrow it down much, frank.
222
00:16:22,653 --> 00:16:25,030
Well, this is a special windmill.
223
00:16:26,114 --> 00:16:27,824
It's a singing windmill.
224
00:16:29,785 --> 00:16:31,202
A singing windmill!
225
00:16:33,789 --> 00:16:36,500
It's about a ten-day ride from here.
226
00:16:36,583 --> 00:16:39,628
I'll lead you to it presently
on one condition.
227
00:16:40,254 --> 00:16:42,047
You don't hurt my boy...
228
00:16:42,130 --> 00:16:45,551
Or any of these kindly injuns here.
229
00:16:47,218 --> 00:16:48,679
Let's ride, frank.
230
00:17:00,732 --> 00:17:04,235
Frank, if that $50,000
isn't under that windmill,
231
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,029
I'm gonna bury you up to your neck
232
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,699
and let the desert critters eat you alive.
233
00:17:08,782 --> 00:17:11,159
It's there, Cicero, it's there.
234
00:17:11,242 --> 00:17:14,955
I'm glad I got to meet Betty dunson's son.
235
00:17:15,831 --> 00:17:18,124
You just stay here, Tommy.
236
00:17:18,208 --> 00:17:20,544
Enjoy your life
with your beautiful bride...
237
00:17:21,587 --> 00:17:25,674
Amongst these majestic pine trees.
238
00:17:27,468 --> 00:17:29,010
Let's go!
239
00:17:49,948 --> 00:17:52,409
Well, that was uncool.
240
00:18:02,628 --> 00:18:04,880
White knife, you must rest.
241
00:18:04,963 --> 00:18:06,423
How can I rest?
242
00:18:06,507 --> 00:18:10,176
When they get to the singing windmill
and find no money, they will kill him.
243
00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:14,556
My son, there are too many trees
and too little time.
244
00:18:15,724 --> 00:18:19,227
Then I must get this $50,000 another way.
245
00:18:19,310 --> 00:18:23,231
How? By stealing?
There is no honor in that.
246
00:18:24,065 --> 00:18:28,654
Unless I steal from those
who have no honor.
247
00:18:28,737 --> 00:18:31,948
Ooh... I like that.
248
00:18:32,032 --> 00:18:33,950
But it is too dangerous.
249
00:18:34,034 --> 00:18:36,495
I will send ten of our
strongest braves with you.
250
00:18:36,578 --> 00:18:37,913
No.
251
00:18:37,996 --> 00:18:41,041
The braves would be treated too cruelly
in the white man's world.
252
00:18:41,124 --> 00:18:43,334
A lot of them can pass for pale face.
253
00:18:43,419 --> 00:18:46,630
Raging bear can actually do
a great impression of a white guy.
254
00:18:47,297 --> 00:18:50,676
Hey, guys, let's play with our chest hair
and eat potato chips.
255
00:18:53,470 --> 00:18:56,181
Wasn't that great?
Where does he come up with this stuff?
256
00:18:56,264 --> 00:19:00,018
That's very good, bear,
but I must walk this path alone.
257
00:19:01,311 --> 00:19:04,940
My love...
I will get this money...
258
00:19:05,023 --> 00:19:07,317
Bring it to the singing windmill,
259
00:19:07,401 --> 00:19:09,486
and be back in time for our wedding.
260
00:19:09,945 --> 00:19:11,447
I won't let you go.
261
00:19:12,406 --> 00:19:13,699
Those men are killers.
262
00:19:14,199 --> 00:19:18,078
I was a coward once
and my mother paid the price.
263
00:19:19,538 --> 00:19:22,416
That will not happen to my father.
264
00:19:40,225 --> 00:19:41,226
Whoa!
265
00:19:41,309 --> 00:19:43,479
Good morning.
266
00:19:43,562 --> 00:19:45,396
Where in the hell did you come from?
267
00:19:45,481 --> 00:19:47,566
I'm in a bit of a bind, boys.
268
00:19:47,649 --> 00:19:50,444
I rode all the way out here
to pan for gold
269
00:19:50,527 --> 00:19:52,571
and my horse up and died on me.
270
00:19:52,654 --> 00:19:54,155
How'd he die?
271
00:19:54,239 --> 00:19:55,866
Suicide.
272
00:19:55,949 --> 00:19:57,743
Drowned himself.
273
00:19:57,826 --> 00:20:01,204
Put his head in the stream
and just kept it there.
274
00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:02,873
Saddest thing you ever seen.
275
00:20:03,624 --> 00:20:04,875
It happens.
276
00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:07,919
Powers that be don't like to admit it,
but it happens.
277
00:20:08,712 --> 00:20:10,171
He looks like an honest white guy.
278
00:20:10,964 --> 00:20:12,007
Hop on.
279
00:20:12,841 --> 00:20:13,925
Much obliged.
280
00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:17,345
Just drop me off
at the nearest town.
281
00:20:23,769 --> 00:20:24,978
Ladies and gentlemen,
gather around.
282
00:20:25,061 --> 00:20:28,148
Hear the wondrous effects
of Dr. chubb's vita oil,
283
00:20:28,231 --> 00:20:30,609
the miracle cure for 1001 ailments.
284
00:20:30,692 --> 00:20:32,528
Put the pep back in your--
285
00:20:33,153 --> 00:20:34,320
who's this asshole?
286
00:20:48,585 --> 00:20:52,047
Well, now, look at this fella,
drinking from the horse trough.
287
00:20:52,130 --> 00:20:53,131
Excuse me.
288
00:20:54,591 --> 00:20:55,634
You there!
289
00:20:57,052 --> 00:20:59,763
What you're doing is disgusting.
290
00:20:59,846 --> 00:21:02,182
That water is for our filthy horses.
291
00:21:02,265 --> 00:21:06,562
Water flows from the sky spirit
for all its children.
292
00:21:06,645 --> 00:21:07,854
Isn't that right, cousin?
293
00:21:07,938 --> 00:21:11,900
We don't cotton to that peyote-smoking
nonsense around these parts.
294
00:21:11,983 --> 00:21:13,944
Do you hear me, "cousin"?
295
00:21:15,361 --> 00:21:18,281
Okay, William, come on back.
296
00:21:18,364 --> 00:21:19,825
Hey, amigo.
297
00:21:20,742 --> 00:21:22,452
You planning on staying in town?
298
00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:25,914
Might need a place
to lay my head for a bit.
299
00:21:34,172 --> 00:21:37,133
Sorry about that ugly man
that insulted you.
300
00:21:37,217 --> 00:21:41,346
He runs the bank, so he thinks
he's entitled to be mean to everyone.
301
00:21:41,429 --> 00:21:43,306
There's a bank in this town?
302
00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:45,100
Why? You wanna rob it?
303
00:21:45,183 --> 00:21:48,394
I look like a bank robber to you, ma'am?
304
00:21:48,478 --> 00:21:53,399
Funny, there's something about you that
reminds me of a certain bank robber.
305
00:21:54,025 --> 00:21:55,944
His name was frank stockburn.
306
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,405
You know frank stockburn?
307
00:21:59,489 --> 00:22:01,575
"Know"? Like, in the biblical sense?
308
00:22:01,658 --> 00:22:05,078
No, ma'am.
You've met him before is what I'm asking.
309
00:22:05,161 --> 00:22:07,538
Yes, I met him.
310
00:22:07,623 --> 00:22:09,082
Then, 20 minutes later,
311
00:22:09,165 --> 00:22:12,628
I knew him in the biblical sense
on that bed, right there.
312
00:22:12,711 --> 00:22:13,712
Oh.
313
00:22:13,795 --> 00:22:18,675
And, I knew him, in the biblical sense,
twice on this railing.
314
00:22:18,759 --> 00:22:19,760
Uh-huh.
315
00:22:19,843 --> 00:22:24,180
And then, while doing a handstand
on that dresser you're leaning against.
316
00:22:26,516 --> 00:22:29,978
Did he happen to mention
a singing windmill?
317
00:22:30,061 --> 00:22:32,898
He did mention a singing windmill.
318
00:22:32,981 --> 00:22:35,859
He said it sounded like a choir of angels.
319
00:22:35,942 --> 00:22:37,653
Where'd he say it was?
320
00:22:37,736 --> 00:22:42,741
He said that it was in a place
where he made his biggest score.
321
00:22:42,824 --> 00:22:44,868
Whatever that was.
322
00:22:44,951 --> 00:22:46,202
And then he laughed.
323
00:22:46,286 --> 00:22:48,496
He liked to laugh...
324
00:22:48,579 --> 00:22:50,581
And have handstand sex.
325
00:22:50,666 --> 00:22:52,542
Yeah, we gotta get past that.
326
00:22:52,625 --> 00:22:53,877
I miss him.
327
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,921
But he did leave me something
to remember him by.
328
00:22:56,004 --> 00:22:57,380
What's this?
329
00:22:57,463 --> 00:23:00,884
A ni�o, Ramon.
330
00:23:02,052 --> 00:23:04,095
I have a brother?
331
00:23:04,179 --> 00:23:08,141
Oh, burro, we had many adventures
together, you and me.
332
00:23:08,224 --> 00:23:09,726
We're not getting any younger.
333
00:23:11,186 --> 00:23:13,897
At least we have our memories.
334
00:23:15,732 --> 00:23:19,695
Remember the two girls,
the sisters, in deadwood?
335
00:23:19,778 --> 00:23:21,071
You liked the fat one.
336
00:23:22,823 --> 00:23:24,407
You know it's true.
337
00:23:24,490 --> 00:23:25,992
Ramon Lopez?
338
00:23:27,035 --> 00:23:28,328
S�.
339
00:23:29,245 --> 00:23:34,125
I just came from conversating
with your mother, esmerelda.
340
00:23:35,126 --> 00:23:39,130
We stumbled upon the fact that
your dad and my dad...
341
00:23:40,757 --> 00:23:42,467
Are the same fella.
342
00:23:43,134 --> 00:23:44,635
Oh, that's neat.
343
00:23:45,261 --> 00:23:46,387
Yeah.
344
00:23:46,471 --> 00:23:48,681
Same father.
345
00:23:48,765 --> 00:23:50,851
Half-brothers.
346
00:23:50,934 --> 00:23:52,894
What do you think about that, burro?
347
00:23:55,230 --> 00:23:56,606
So, how is dad?
348
00:23:56,689 --> 00:23:59,776
Well, he went and got himself kidnapped,
349
00:23:59,860 --> 00:24:03,696
and I need to come up with $50,000
to save his life.
350
00:24:04,572 --> 00:24:06,157
That's a lot of pesos.
351
00:24:06,241 --> 00:24:07,367
Sure is.
352
00:24:08,284 --> 00:24:11,662
That's why I'm fixin'
to rob the bank here in town.
353
00:24:12,831 --> 00:24:13,999
Hang on.
354
00:24:15,166 --> 00:24:17,668
My father is in trouble.
355
00:24:17,753 --> 00:24:20,671
My brother, he needs my help.
356
00:24:22,298 --> 00:24:24,384
I'll rob the bank with you.
357
00:24:24,467 --> 00:24:26,386
I must do this alone.
358
00:24:29,222 --> 00:24:31,016
What's happening right now?
359
00:24:32,809 --> 00:24:35,020
Ever since I'm peque�o,
360
00:24:35,103 --> 00:24:39,858
I dream about spending
one magical day with mi padre,
361
00:24:39,941 --> 00:24:43,820
sharing meals,
introducing him to the burro.
362
00:24:45,947 --> 00:24:49,700
I will not let go of you
until you say I can help you.
363
00:24:56,082 --> 00:24:59,419
Will you stop brushing me
if I say yes?
364
00:24:59,502 --> 00:25:00,586
Yes.
365
00:25:02,547 --> 00:25:04,007
Then you can help.
366
00:25:17,395 --> 00:25:19,564
That means he likes you.
367
00:25:37,623 --> 00:25:40,501
That's a good amount of money
you want us to lend you.
368
00:25:40,585 --> 00:25:43,629
Now, normally, we would require
two forms of identification, madam,
369
00:25:43,713 --> 00:25:46,674
but that won't be necessary in your case.
370
00:25:46,757 --> 00:25:49,677
I feel kinda guilty about this, burro,
371
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,596
taking money from nice people.
372
00:25:51,679 --> 00:25:54,015
I mean, it's not like
you're some greasy Mexican.
373
00:25:55,934 --> 00:25:57,393
I feel less guilty now.
374
00:25:59,312 --> 00:26:01,189
What are you doing?
375
00:26:01,272 --> 00:26:03,191
This is a bank!
376
00:26:03,274 --> 00:26:05,026
Get that donkey out of here!
377
00:26:05,110 --> 00:26:06,819
It is a burro, se�or.
378
00:26:06,903 --> 00:26:09,697
I don't care, "se�or."
Get it out!
379
00:26:09,780 --> 00:26:11,532
All right.
V�monos.
380
00:26:13,869 --> 00:26:15,411
The burro don't want to v�monos.
381
00:26:15,495 --> 00:26:19,374
Well, I don't really care
what the burro wants.
382
00:26:22,293 --> 00:26:25,338
Get out of my bank, you beast!
383
00:26:25,421 --> 00:26:27,883
I know what you're thinking,
but not yet.
384
00:26:27,966 --> 00:26:29,259
Hold it.
385
00:26:29,342 --> 00:26:31,261
Move!
386
00:26:42,730 --> 00:26:45,275
How is this jackass stuck?
387
00:26:45,358 --> 00:26:48,153
If it got in here,
it can certainly get out!
388
00:26:48,236 --> 00:26:50,947
{\an8}It doesn't make sense,
it's not logical.
389
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:53,950
They got it locked up good,
do they?
390
00:26:54,034 --> 00:26:57,370
Oh! You are leaving!
391
00:27:00,999 --> 00:27:03,919
Gall dang,
he felled on his pooper!
392
00:27:17,515 --> 00:27:19,850
- That makes no sense!
- I apologize.
393
00:27:19,935 --> 00:27:22,270
-I don't know how many times I could--
-hey, friend.
394
00:27:22,353 --> 00:27:24,189
Need any help gettin' her out?
395
00:27:24,855 --> 00:27:26,899
She's not
really stuck, amigo.
396
00:27:26,983 --> 00:27:28,568
She's just a diversion.
397
00:27:28,651 --> 00:27:30,778
She's a virgin?
398
00:27:30,861 --> 00:27:32,948
I'm a virgin, too...
399
00:27:33,031 --> 00:27:34,991
Unless you count canty-loupes.
400
00:27:35,741 --> 00:27:38,078
I believe that,
but she's a diversion
401
00:27:38,161 --> 00:27:39,745
to keep the banker busy
402
00:27:39,829 --> 00:27:42,498
so that my brother has time
to rob the bank.
403
00:27:42,582 --> 00:27:44,667
You're robbin' the bank?
404
00:27:44,750 --> 00:27:46,461
-Gall dang!
-Shh, shh.
405
00:27:46,544 --> 00:27:49,047
Gall dang.
Gall dang. Gall dang.
406
00:27:58,473 --> 00:27:59,849
Oh, no. Oh, no.
407
00:28:02,310 --> 00:28:04,687
No! Virgil! Virgil, the key!
408
00:28:07,523 --> 00:28:09,025
I'm lil Pete.
409
00:28:09,109 --> 00:28:10,735
So, is your father, like, big Pete?
410
00:28:10,818 --> 00:28:12,820
I didn't know my pa.
411
00:28:12,903 --> 00:28:16,241
But he was a bank robber like y'all!
His name was frank.
412
00:28:17,033 --> 00:28:19,160
-Stockburn?
-How'd you know?
413
00:28:20,578 --> 00:28:21,912
Are you a wizard?
414
00:28:25,625 --> 00:28:27,252
{\an8}Hey, Johnny law.
415
00:28:27,335 --> 00:28:31,089
{\an8}We'll be waiting for you
up at jawbone falls.
416
00:28:31,172 --> 00:28:32,673
{\an8}Frank stockburn.
417
00:28:33,341 --> 00:28:34,342
What?
418
00:28:34,425 --> 00:28:35,551
Robbery!
419
00:28:35,635 --> 00:28:37,887
We're being burgled!
420
00:28:38,679 --> 00:28:41,391
You! Horse-water-drinker!
421
00:28:41,474 --> 00:28:42,808
You are caught, sir!
422
00:28:53,653 --> 00:28:54,820
Oh!
423
00:28:54,904 --> 00:28:56,572
What are you?
424
00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:00,368
Hey, Tommy, guess what?
We got ourselves a little brother.
425
00:29:00,451 --> 00:29:03,579
Yeah! All our moms got porked
by the same outlaw.
426
00:29:03,663 --> 00:29:05,540
-Ain't that a pip?
-Yeah, that's something.
427
00:29:05,623 --> 00:29:08,418
Hey! Those bandidos just robbed the bank!
428
00:29:11,337 --> 00:29:13,714
Taste my bullets,
you dirty foreigners!
429
00:29:13,798 --> 00:29:15,258
Now!
430
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:21,056
-Nice one, burro.
-Wow!
431
00:29:21,139 --> 00:29:22,432
- There they are!
- We better make tracks.
432
00:29:22,515 --> 00:29:24,017
Can I come with?
I got a wagon.
433
00:29:24,100 --> 00:29:25,976
All right, that ain't a bad idea,
let's go.
434
00:29:26,061 --> 00:29:27,562
V�monos. Come on!
435
00:29:28,604 --> 00:29:30,315
So, if you guys are
my brothers,
436
00:29:30,398 --> 00:29:32,150
you must got three nipples, too.
437
00:29:32,233 --> 00:29:33,443
I only got two.
438
00:29:33,526 --> 00:29:35,070
Yeah, just got the two.
439
00:29:35,153 --> 00:29:37,363
Oh, must be
from my mama's side.
440
00:29:37,447 --> 00:29:39,324
Forget I tolded you that, okay?
441
00:29:39,407 --> 00:29:40,491
Will do.
442
00:29:42,368 --> 00:29:43,786
Are you ready, clem?
443
00:29:44,995 --> 00:29:47,373
Yep, yep. I'm... I'm ready.
444
00:29:53,546 --> 00:29:54,755
Spoon.
445
00:29:56,507 --> 00:29:57,800
Damn sharp.
446
00:30:03,264 --> 00:30:08,894
Look, fellas, I wanna hunt
this white injun down same as you.
447
00:30:08,978 --> 00:30:10,730
But, uh... I...
448
00:30:11,981 --> 00:30:14,067
I have some problems with my eyes.
449
00:30:14,150 --> 00:30:18,154
You wanna join the left-eye gang,
that right eye has gotta come out.
450
00:30:18,238 --> 00:30:20,240
It'll only hurt for a second.
451
00:30:20,323 --> 00:30:22,908
Yeah, like a hundred seconds.
452
00:30:22,992 --> 00:30:25,870
-Then you're one of us.
-For life.
453
00:30:26,829 --> 00:30:28,914
Okay, that makes sense.
454
00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:34,712
Is it okay if I scoop this left eye out?
455
00:30:34,795 --> 00:30:36,547
This is... I'm basically blind here.
456
00:30:36,631 --> 00:30:38,799
This right one sees like an eagle.
457
00:30:38,883 --> 00:30:41,802
Yeah, it just seems
like a waste that I'd...
458
00:30:41,886 --> 00:30:45,223
I understand your predicament,
but rules is rules.
459
00:30:45,306 --> 00:30:47,808
Yeah, guess it... makes sense.
460
00:30:53,273 --> 00:30:54,732
Oh, god!
461
00:30:54,815 --> 00:30:57,193
Hell, no!
462
00:30:57,277 --> 00:30:59,987
That ain't right!
463
00:31:00,905 --> 00:31:02,407
Damn!
464
00:31:02,490 --> 00:31:03,824
It's half way.
465
00:31:03,908 --> 00:31:05,701
- It's dangling by a vein!
- Whoo! Oh, man!
466
00:31:05,785 --> 00:31:08,078
It's crazy,
i can still see out of it!
467
00:31:08,163 --> 00:31:09,580
-Goddamn, it hurts!
-I think I'm gonna puke.
468
00:31:09,664 --> 00:31:12,958
It's just going round and round like
a tassel on a stripper's titty!
469
00:31:13,042 --> 00:31:14,627
Okay, gotta get it, gotta get it!
470
00:31:14,710 --> 00:31:16,254
I'm getting dizzy!
471
00:31:16,337 --> 00:31:18,005
Got it, got it, got it!
472
00:31:18,088 --> 00:31:19,089
Yeah!
473
00:31:19,174 --> 00:31:20,883
Ah!
474
00:31:20,966 --> 00:31:23,844
Oh, lord! Holy shit.
475
00:31:24,929 --> 00:31:28,724
You done it, partner.
Welcome to the left-eye gang.
476
00:31:28,808 --> 00:31:29,850
Whoo!
477
00:31:29,934 --> 00:31:31,186
I did it!
478
00:31:31,269 --> 00:31:34,355
I'm glad that's done.
479
00:31:34,439 --> 00:31:37,317
Let's just go get that
injun-loving son of a bitch, huh?
480
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:38,443
Yeah.
481
00:31:38,526 --> 00:31:40,611
-Yeah! Let's get him.
-Yeah.
482
00:31:40,695 --> 00:31:42,905
Like, so...
483
00:31:42,988 --> 00:31:45,074
Oh, I touched the hole.
I touched the hole!
484
00:31:47,577 --> 00:31:49,954
Got me a patch!
485
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,835
Dear mama,
you may be wondering
486
00:31:55,918 --> 00:32:00,089
why I have not returned
from my trip to the ice cream store.
487
00:32:00,173 --> 00:32:04,552
It's because I met my brothers,
Ramon and Tommy.
488
00:32:04,635 --> 00:32:06,804
And we're trying to steal money.
489
00:32:06,887 --> 00:32:10,433
We need the money
to give to the bad men
490
00:32:10,516 --> 00:32:15,355
who took pa away
to the land of the singing windmill.
491
00:32:15,438 --> 00:32:20,318
Tommy says it's not okay
to take money from decent folks.
492
00:32:20,401 --> 00:32:21,402
I got the money!
493
00:32:21,486 --> 00:32:24,239
Luckily, there's a lot of bad people
here in the west.
494
00:32:24,322 --> 00:32:25,906
Yee-haw!
495
00:32:25,990 --> 00:32:27,200
Let's ride!
496
00:32:30,203 --> 00:32:32,705
Eat it! You know you like it.
497
00:32:32,788 --> 00:32:34,499
You know you like it.
498
00:32:35,124 --> 00:32:36,376
Good god!
499
00:32:36,459 --> 00:32:38,961
Good burro!
500
00:32:39,044 --> 00:32:40,296
That's right.
501
00:32:40,380 --> 00:32:41,381
Enjoy it!
502
00:32:42,382 --> 00:32:44,884
-That's just wrong.
-Yeah, yeah.
503
00:32:44,967 --> 00:32:45,968
Is it?
504
00:33:00,816 --> 00:33:04,153
This is so much better
than the cantaloupe.
505
00:33:08,366 --> 00:33:10,243
Good burro!
506
00:33:10,326 --> 00:33:13,078
Slowly, but surely,
507
00:33:13,162 --> 00:33:17,917
we're chippin' away
at the $50,000 we need to save pa.
508
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,420
That's a lot of money,
isn't it, mama?
509
00:33:22,087 --> 00:33:23,130
Mama?
510
00:33:24,882 --> 00:33:29,262
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I'm writing you a letter.
511
00:33:30,388 --> 00:33:34,600
Anyways, I can't wait
to actually meet my pa.
512
00:33:34,684 --> 00:33:37,227
I want him to teach me
how you make babies.
513
00:33:37,312 --> 00:33:40,773
And how the lady poops 'em out.
514
00:33:40,856 --> 00:33:43,318
Be home quick as I can.
515
00:33:43,401 --> 00:33:46,612
Your loving son, lil Pete.
516
00:34:10,928 --> 00:34:12,179
Tommy?
517
00:34:12,262 --> 00:34:14,056
Yeah, lil Pete?
518
00:34:14,974 --> 00:34:16,892
Where's the singing windmill?
519
00:34:16,976 --> 00:34:19,520
It's where dad made
his biggest score.
520
00:34:20,938 --> 00:34:23,691
Maybe we'll get another clue
up at jawbone falls.
521
00:34:23,774 --> 00:34:27,194
That's where he used to hide out
when he was an outlaw.
522
00:34:27,277 --> 00:34:30,406
Oh, cool beans.
523
00:34:34,076 --> 00:34:35,328
Tommy?
524
00:34:35,411 --> 00:34:37,330
Yeah, lil Pete?
525
00:34:38,288 --> 00:34:40,290
If we get caught stealing...
526
00:34:40,958 --> 00:34:42,668
Would we be in trouble?
527
00:34:45,796 --> 00:34:47,256
I reckon we'll hang.
528
00:34:50,551 --> 00:34:53,178
Well... that's no bother.
529
00:34:54,263 --> 00:34:56,181
I got a real strong neck.
530
00:34:56,265 --> 00:35:00,227
Mama makes me pull the plow with my head
if I don't finish my schoolwork.
531
00:35:01,311 --> 00:35:02,980
Which occurs regularilly.
532
00:35:04,982 --> 00:35:07,610
Strong neck might come in handy.
533
00:35:07,693 --> 00:35:10,571
Okay, let's get our rest.
534
00:35:12,114 --> 00:35:14,033
Good night, Tommy.
535
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:16,786
Good night, lil Pete.
536
00:35:16,869 --> 00:35:19,288
Good night, Ramon.
537
00:35:19,372 --> 00:35:20,790
Good night, brothers.
538
00:35:21,791 --> 00:35:22,958
Good night, burro.
539
00:35:27,212 --> 00:35:28,923
That's a dry one.
540
00:35:29,006 --> 00:35:30,966
We will have good dry weather tomorrow.
541
00:35:44,689 --> 00:35:46,231
Shoo, fly!
542
00:35:46,315 --> 00:35:47,442
Shoo!
543
00:35:49,944 --> 00:35:53,072
Oh, come on, fly, v�monos!
We need our sleep.
544
00:35:56,867 --> 00:35:59,078
Let me take care of this.
545
00:35:59,161 --> 00:36:00,913
How can you see a fly in the dark?
546
00:36:00,996 --> 00:36:04,249
A true hunter sees
with all his senses.
547
00:36:09,630 --> 00:36:11,757
That was some mystical shit, man.
548
00:36:15,219 --> 00:36:16,303
Uh-oh.
549
00:36:16,386 --> 00:36:18,764
I think you just nicked his biscuits off.
550
00:36:18,848 --> 00:36:21,016
That's what I was aiming for.
551
00:36:22,017 --> 00:36:23,769
He didn't deserve to die.
552
00:36:24,562 --> 00:36:27,356
He deserved to know
he was not welcome here.
553
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:30,317
Raised by Indians, huh?
554
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,487
That had some impact on you.
555
00:36:35,656 --> 00:36:37,533
Well, let me get this one.
556
00:36:45,708 --> 00:36:47,627
Sounded like a horse fly.
557
00:36:47,710 --> 00:36:50,505
That wasn't a horse fly,
that was my horse!
558
00:36:50,588 --> 00:36:52,047
Peanut?
559
00:36:52,131 --> 00:36:53,924
Oh, peanut!
560
00:36:55,425 --> 00:36:58,220
Oh, the burro's gonna be pissed.
561
00:36:59,429 --> 00:37:00,973
You're doing bueno, burro!
562
00:37:01,056 --> 00:37:03,934
Don't be intimidated by the horse,
you're just as good as him.
563
00:37:04,018 --> 00:37:05,936
I'm so hungry.
564
00:37:06,020 --> 00:37:08,147
There's breakfast all around.
565
00:37:08,230 --> 00:37:13,027
Nuts, berries, bark,
different kinds of mud.
566
00:37:13,110 --> 00:37:15,279
I wish there were taco trees.
567
00:37:15,362 --> 00:37:16,822
What's a taco?
568
00:37:16,906 --> 00:37:18,323
They're the best.
569
00:37:18,407 --> 00:37:22,036
Meat and cheese and tomatoes
in a crispy shell.
570
00:37:22,119 --> 00:37:23,538
You'd love it, man.
571
00:37:23,621 --> 00:37:26,040
Ooh, I want one.
I want 50.
572
00:37:26,123 --> 00:37:28,793
Hate to put an end
to this fascinating conversation,
573
00:37:28,876 --> 00:37:29,877
but we're here.
574
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,547
Jawbone falls.
575
00:37:34,715 --> 00:37:37,259
And there's a mansion next to it!
576
00:37:45,017 --> 00:37:46,476
Should we just go in?
577
00:37:47,562 --> 00:37:49,396
I reckon.
578
00:37:58,906 --> 00:37:59,949
Hello?
579
00:38:02,409 --> 00:38:03,452
Hola.
580
00:38:06,831 --> 00:38:10,084
Well, this is cozy.
581
00:38:16,841 --> 00:38:17,925
Hello?
582
00:38:27,434 --> 00:38:29,103
Hold on!
583
00:38:29,186 --> 00:38:30,938
Tommy!
584
00:38:38,779 --> 00:38:41,699
Stop! Leave my brother alone!
585
00:38:41,782 --> 00:38:43,868
No, no, no!
586
00:38:43,951 --> 00:38:46,161
Simon says, "stop!"
587
00:38:46,245 --> 00:38:48,789
Don't hurt my brother!
588
00:38:49,915 --> 00:38:51,000
-Stop!
-Huh?
589
00:38:57,089 --> 00:38:58,423
Good thinking, Tommy.
590
00:38:58,507 --> 00:38:59,508
All right.
591
00:38:59,592 --> 00:39:01,802
Not for me, but good one, Tommy.
592
00:39:03,929 --> 00:39:06,556
Settle, settle, watch it...
593
00:39:06,641 --> 00:39:08,601
It's all right, it's all right...
594
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:11,729
We don't mean no harm.
595
00:39:11,812 --> 00:39:14,940
- We're just looking for our dad.
- S�.
596
00:39:15,024 --> 00:39:16,525
Is this your place?
597
00:39:18,027 --> 00:39:19,319
Whose place is it?
598
00:39:23,824 --> 00:39:24,992
Your mother?
599
00:39:25,075 --> 00:39:27,536
Oh, is she here right now?
600
00:39:30,580 --> 00:39:31,916
Oh, she's dead.
601
00:39:33,542 --> 00:39:35,753
I'm so sorry,
I'm sure she was a good woman.
602
00:39:37,212 --> 00:39:38,463
She died three years ago?
603
00:39:39,674 --> 00:39:40,716
Three months ago?
604
00:39:42,677 --> 00:39:45,345
Oh, your mama has three nipples?
605
00:39:45,429 --> 00:39:46,555
Huh?
606
00:39:49,433 --> 00:39:52,186
Yeah, there's three of us.
607
00:39:52,269 --> 00:39:54,521
- Three of us, s�.
- Okay. Okay.
608
00:39:54,604 --> 00:39:56,398
Claro, tres. S�. S�.
609
00:39:58,400 --> 00:39:59,401
Whoo-hoo!
610
00:39:59,484 --> 00:40:02,154
You and your mom were making
moonshine up here, huh?
611
00:40:02,237 --> 00:40:03,906
Much obliged.
612
00:40:04,614 --> 00:40:05,615
Gracias.
613
00:40:06,784 --> 00:40:10,162
Making moonshine for frank stockburn?
614
00:40:10,245 --> 00:40:11,789
You know frank stockburn?
615
00:40:14,792 --> 00:40:16,043
He slept here?
616
00:40:17,712 --> 00:40:18,879
With your mama?
617
00:40:25,135 --> 00:40:26,136
Okay.
618
00:40:32,184 --> 00:40:35,520
Your mama was an owl.
619
00:40:35,604 --> 00:40:38,858
No, our dad made his mom
make owl noises.
620
00:40:38,941 --> 00:40:40,234
Huh?
621
00:40:40,317 --> 00:40:44,571
Yeah, that's right, friend.
We're your brothers.
622
00:40:45,865 --> 00:40:47,657
Gall dang!
623
00:40:55,332 --> 00:40:56,333
Okay.
624
00:40:56,416 --> 00:40:58,711
-Down the hatch, boys!
-Salud. Salud.
625
00:41:01,130 --> 00:41:02,757
What's your name, anyways?
626
00:41:10,555 --> 00:41:15,060
{\an8}H... r... m...
627
00:41:16,103 --> 00:41:18,981
{\an8}Squiggly line, asterisk.
628
00:41:21,441 --> 00:41:22,985
How 'bout we just call you herm?
629
00:41:24,653 --> 00:41:26,696
Herm, so you know,
630
00:41:26,781 --> 00:41:30,325
our dad was kidnapped
by some bad muchachos.
631
00:41:30,409 --> 00:41:31,827
Yeah,
632
00:41:31,911 --> 00:41:34,288
we need money to get him back.
633
00:41:34,371 --> 00:41:36,331
So we're going to steal the money.
634
00:41:38,793 --> 00:41:41,921
No, we're only stealing the money
from folks what are bad.
635
00:41:42,004 --> 00:41:43,422
Hmm...
636
00:41:44,799 --> 00:41:49,553
So do you know of any place where we could
steal a lot of money from some bad folks?
637
00:41:49,636 --> 00:41:51,263
Mmm...
638
00:41:52,973 --> 00:41:54,141
He's got something.
639
00:41:57,853 --> 00:42:00,564
The gold nugget saloon, huh?
640
00:42:01,690 --> 00:42:03,025
I reckon you're coming with us?
641
00:42:07,612 --> 00:42:09,949
Smoking fox
so worried about white knife.
642
00:42:10,032 --> 00:42:11,992
We must get her to eat something.
643
00:42:12,076 --> 00:42:15,287
Oh, we having a little picnic here, huh?
644
00:42:15,370 --> 00:42:17,414
You have no right to be here!
This apache land!
645
00:42:17,497 --> 00:42:20,084
And what you gonna do about it,
beaver breath?
646
00:42:20,167 --> 00:42:21,877
How he know my name?
647
00:42:21,961 --> 00:42:24,421
That's really her name!
648
00:42:27,341 --> 00:42:30,052
Yeah, I think you also could have
gone with "face like witch."
649
00:42:30,135 --> 00:42:31,804
Or "eats like pig."
650
00:42:31,887 --> 00:42:33,597
Or "hit in face with diarrhea stick."
651
00:42:35,390 --> 00:42:38,435
That's it? Nobody else?
Babyface? Stumbles?
652
00:42:38,518 --> 00:42:41,563
Hey, boss! Look what I got here!
653
00:42:41,646 --> 00:42:44,691
He ain't gonna be
happy about this.
654
00:42:44,774 --> 00:42:47,945
Well, well, well.
655
00:42:54,409 --> 00:42:57,287
Yep, used to be a prosperous town.
656
00:42:57,371 --> 00:43:02,001
Then the gold mine dried up
and the train stopped stopping.
657
00:43:02,084 --> 00:43:05,587
The saloon's the only place left that
still does a good business.
658
00:43:05,670 --> 00:43:09,967
Open day and night since they built it.
Ain't even a lock on the front door.
659
00:43:10,050 --> 00:43:11,301
It never closes.
660
00:43:13,178 --> 00:43:15,639
They got a big ol' golden nugget
hanging above the fireplace.
661
00:43:15,722 --> 00:43:17,724
Folks come from all over
just to take a look.
662
00:43:17,807 --> 00:43:20,810
They say it's worth about $20,000, easy.
663
00:43:22,271 --> 00:43:23,355
All right.
664
00:43:27,651 --> 00:43:31,446
I'm surprised no one's ever tried
to stolen that nugget.
665
00:43:31,530 --> 00:43:33,323
Oh, folks have tried.
666
00:43:33,407 --> 00:43:36,618
If you go in there, you see their thumbs
hanging above the bar.
667
00:43:36,701 --> 00:43:38,787
Smiley Harris, the owner,
bit them clean off.
668
00:43:38,871 --> 00:43:40,622
So nobody messes with smiley.
669
00:43:45,294 --> 00:43:46,879
That sort of tickled.
670
00:43:46,962 --> 00:43:49,673
What we got going over here, friend?
671
00:43:49,756 --> 00:43:52,009
Just open your robe, please.
672
00:43:54,219 --> 00:43:55,720
Ooh...
673
00:43:55,804 --> 00:43:58,515
I have never seen that big of a rash...
674
00:43:58,598 --> 00:44:00,309
Or infection
675
00:44:00,392 --> 00:44:03,603
or whatever this green bubble is.
676
00:44:03,687 --> 00:44:05,189
Hmm.
677
00:44:05,272 --> 00:44:06,356
All right.
678
00:44:08,901 --> 00:44:09,902
Yeah.
679
00:44:14,031 --> 00:44:17,367
Now, son, I would simply recommend
that you stop doing
680
00:44:17,451 --> 00:44:19,703
whatever it is you've been doing,
681
00:44:19,786 --> 00:44:21,956
with whoever...
682
00:44:22,039 --> 00:44:24,541
Or whatever you've been doing it with.
683
00:44:33,092 --> 00:44:34,969
Yep, now they call him smiley,
684
00:44:35,052 --> 00:44:39,098
'cause even when committing
the most unspeakable atrocities,
685
00:44:39,181 --> 00:44:42,226
a cheerful grin never leaves his face.
686
00:44:44,186 --> 00:44:46,438
All right, just lift your tail
for me, please.
687
00:44:47,982 --> 00:44:50,109
Now, he's why that nugget
has never been stolen.
688
00:44:51,235 --> 00:44:53,153
And never will be stolen.
689
00:44:58,158 --> 00:45:00,035
This'll prevent infection.
690
00:45:04,581 --> 00:45:06,333
It tastes good, too.
691
00:45:06,416 --> 00:45:11,671
This smiley fella, sounds more like
a hooligan than a barkeep.
692
00:45:11,755 --> 00:45:13,007
You're not far off.
693
00:45:13,090 --> 00:45:14,758
Rumor has it that back in the old days
694
00:45:14,841 --> 00:45:16,885
he used to run
with the frank stockburn gang.
695
00:45:18,553 --> 00:45:19,929
Lip balm?
696
00:45:20,014 --> 00:45:22,141
I reckon I'm good.
697
00:45:30,732 --> 00:45:34,028
? For breakfast
my baby bakes my biscuits ?
698
00:45:34,111 --> 00:45:37,156
? At lunchtime
she puts honey in my tea ?
699
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:38,573
Come on, champ!
700
00:45:38,657 --> 00:45:42,411
? For supper
she butters up my corn cob ?
701
00:45:42,494 --> 00:45:45,247
? And for dessert
she gives that pudding to me ?
702
00:45:50,585 --> 00:45:53,505
? She lets me cut her coffee
with my cream ?
703
00:45:54,256 --> 00:45:58,052
? I've got a hankering
for some cherry pie ?
704
00:46:05,392 --> 00:46:08,437
That smiley fellow,
he don't joke around.
705
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:10,064
Oh... I joke around...
706
00:46:10,772 --> 00:46:12,482
But never when it comes to my business.
707
00:46:12,566 --> 00:46:14,943
Welcome to the gold nugget, gentlemen.
708
00:46:15,026 --> 00:46:18,280
Mr. Harris,
it's quite a nice spread you got here.
709
00:46:18,363 --> 00:46:20,324
So what brings you gentlemen to town?
710
00:46:20,407 --> 00:46:24,869
Actually, we wanted to ask you
about something, Mr. Harris.
711
00:46:24,953 --> 00:46:26,371
Excuse me.
712
00:46:27,206 --> 00:46:31,000
I am conversing with these gentlemen, sir.
I shall be with you in a moment.
713
00:46:31,085 --> 00:46:34,088
I need to talk to you about
frank stockburn.
714
00:46:38,550 --> 00:46:40,927
I haven't heard that name in many a year.
715
00:46:41,010 --> 00:46:42,096
You know him.
716
00:46:42,179 --> 00:46:45,014
Mr. stockburn and i
were business partners.
717
00:46:45,099 --> 00:46:47,226
I got a photograph.
718
00:46:47,309 --> 00:46:51,521
You see, that there's him...
And that's you.
719
00:46:51,605 --> 00:46:53,315
You rode in his gang.
720
00:46:53,398 --> 00:46:57,068
To be precise...
It was our gang.
721
00:46:57,152 --> 00:46:59,821
He went on to a criminal career
of some renown,
722
00:46:59,904 --> 00:47:03,325
while I achieved great success
in the legitimate business world.
723
00:47:03,408 --> 00:47:04,784
Please help me.
724
00:47:04,868 --> 00:47:06,828
Sir, you are becoming a nuisance.
725
00:47:06,911 --> 00:47:09,373
I just need to tell him what I've done.
726
00:47:35,899 --> 00:47:38,693
I think he's had enough, boss.
727
00:47:41,238 --> 00:47:43,240
Yes.
728
00:47:43,323 --> 00:47:45,992
My apologies, gentlemen.
729
00:47:46,075 --> 00:47:48,203
Not my favorite subject.
730
00:47:48,287 --> 00:47:50,414
A round on the house.
731
00:47:51,831 --> 00:47:55,294
And, chico, if you ever
grab my arm like that again,
732
00:47:55,377 --> 00:47:57,212
I'll put six bullets in your head.
733
00:47:59,631 --> 00:48:00,882
That's quite a beating.
734
00:48:00,965 --> 00:48:03,510
Hope you and your drink are okay.
735
00:48:04,428 --> 00:48:07,347
Why do you want to meet
this frank stockburn so badly, huh?
736
00:48:07,431 --> 00:48:09,516
Frank stockburn's my father.
737
00:48:11,643 --> 00:48:15,230
If frank stockburn is your father,
raise your hand.
738
00:48:17,691 --> 00:48:19,276
Gall dang!
739
00:48:28,785 --> 00:48:32,289
Chico's right.
Getting late, starting to thin out.
740
00:48:34,416 --> 00:48:36,125
Can I tell you guys something?
741
00:48:36,210 --> 00:48:38,587
Because I don't wanna have
no secrets between us.
742
00:48:38,670 --> 00:48:39,796
Of course.
743
00:48:39,879 --> 00:48:41,840
-Yeah, we're brothers.
-Yeah.
744
00:48:41,923 --> 00:48:46,220
Now, I know dad is a white man,
but my mother...
745
00:48:46,303 --> 00:48:48,012
Was actually black.
746
00:48:48,096 --> 00:48:51,808
So that, technically,
makes me half-black.
747
00:48:51,891 --> 00:48:53,685
Is that right?
748
00:48:53,768 --> 00:48:55,312
Well, I didn't wanna hide that from you
749
00:48:55,395 --> 00:48:58,189
in case you guys slipped up
and made some racial slurs
750
00:48:58,273 --> 00:49:01,568
-not knowing I wasn't 100% white.
-Hmm.
751
00:49:01,651 --> 00:49:04,028
I mean, I knew she must've
been really muscular,
752
00:49:04,112 --> 00:49:06,406
but I had no idea she was black.
753
00:49:06,490 --> 00:49:07,532
Yeah, I mean, I guess,
754
00:49:07,616 --> 00:49:09,576
now that you mention it,
i see it a little bit.
755
00:49:10,910 --> 00:49:13,455
My mother's Swedish.
756
00:49:13,538 --> 00:49:16,375
I don't think so.
I reckon she's Mexican.
757
00:49:17,876 --> 00:49:19,836
Lying bitch!
758
00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:23,673
So do you new brothers
have any special skills
759
00:49:23,757 --> 00:49:25,800
that could help us out here tonight?
760
00:49:25,884 --> 00:49:26,885
Like what?
761
00:49:26,968 --> 00:49:29,346
Like, you know,
Tommy's good with knives.
762
00:49:29,429 --> 00:49:31,806
Lil Pete's got a bonus nipple.
763
00:49:31,890 --> 00:49:33,475
I got a burro.
764
00:49:35,226 --> 00:49:37,396
Herm is good at strangling.
765
00:49:37,479 --> 00:49:41,149
-Huh?
-I can hold my breath for six minutes.
766
00:49:41,232 --> 00:49:43,902
Well, I can play the piano with my dick.
767
00:49:43,985 --> 00:49:47,113
Well, we're unstoppable then.
768
00:49:47,196 --> 00:49:51,743
Anyways, any of you handsome brothers
ready to go steal a big hunk of gold?
769
00:49:51,826 --> 00:49:53,787
-I'm ready.
-I'm hungry.
770
00:49:53,870 --> 00:49:55,372
-I'm drunk.
-And I'm lil Pete.
771
00:49:56,706 --> 00:49:58,792
Let's get that nugget then.
772
00:50:40,249 --> 00:50:41,835
Oh...
773
00:50:41,918 --> 00:50:45,422
You've got some pair of huevos
coming into my place, son.
774
00:50:45,505 --> 00:50:48,299
I sure am sorry
about what happened, Mr. Harris.
775
00:50:48,383 --> 00:50:50,885
In fact, I'd like to buy you a drink...
776
00:50:50,969 --> 00:50:53,638
Of the good stuff,
if that's okay?
777
00:50:54,348 --> 00:50:58,435
Barkeep, you got any scotch,
real scotch, from scotch-land?
778
00:51:01,563 --> 00:51:05,108
We keep the imported stuff in the back.
I'll go and fetch it for you.
779
00:51:05,191 --> 00:51:06,526
That's wonderful.
780
00:51:22,917 --> 00:51:24,586
Now, I didn't hear that,
did you?
781
00:51:24,669 --> 00:51:26,045
I did.
782
00:51:48,985 --> 00:51:50,654
I don't know,
maybe I'm turned round.
783
00:51:50,737 --> 00:51:53,657
I thought that, like,
tonight was gonna be fajita Friday
784
00:51:53,740 --> 00:51:55,700
or line dancing or something.
785
00:51:55,784 --> 00:51:59,162
It just seems quiet, but y'all be good.
Stay warm.
786
00:51:59,245 --> 00:52:01,790
-Hey, he's got the thumbs!
-They came with the pants!
787
00:52:06,377 --> 00:52:08,463
Right on the rocks,
right on the rocks.
788
00:52:08,547 --> 00:52:11,090
Oh, you're gaining on me!
You're gaining on me!
789
00:52:11,174 --> 00:52:13,968
You don't even understand
what we're gonna do to--
790
00:52:18,432 --> 00:52:20,725
teach them not to mess
with the stockburn brothers!
791
00:52:31,445 --> 00:52:34,698
Smiley...
792
00:52:44,248 --> 00:52:47,001
I'm watching you!
793
00:52:47,085 --> 00:52:48,587
Who's that?
794
00:52:52,173 --> 00:52:53,633
Ladies.
795
00:52:57,095 --> 00:53:01,349
What's behind door number three?
796
00:53:07,355 --> 00:53:11,400
Okay, ladies, take your clothes off
and start punching me in the face.
797
00:53:11,485 --> 00:53:12,527
Sorry, carry on.
798
00:53:12,611 --> 00:53:14,488
Hallelujah!
799
00:53:16,990 --> 00:53:22,036
Smiley,
why don't you visit your grandma...
800
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:23,788
In hell!
801
00:53:43,975 --> 00:53:45,852
Smiley.
802
00:53:45,935 --> 00:53:50,231
You cannot
escape me, smiley!
803
00:53:55,319 --> 00:53:58,489
Give me my thumbs back.
804
00:54:05,371 --> 00:54:07,498
It's too big, lil Pete!
805
00:54:07,582 --> 00:54:08,750
What's too big?
806
00:54:09,584 --> 00:54:11,878
Uh... plan b's too big?
807
00:54:11,961 --> 00:54:13,462
What the hell is plan b?
808
00:54:13,547 --> 00:54:15,173
Let me show you.
809
00:54:15,924 --> 00:54:17,008
Plan b!
810
00:54:38,529 --> 00:54:41,324
Yeah, works better if you have knives.
811
00:54:41,407 --> 00:54:44,327
Yeah, that makes sense.
812
00:54:44,410 --> 00:54:45,662
Come on.
813
00:54:47,789 --> 00:54:49,373
You can take 'em!
Come on!
814
00:54:49,457 --> 00:54:51,918
I got the nugget! I got the nugget!
What do we do?
815
00:54:52,001 --> 00:54:53,670
-He's shooting like a madman!
-Come on!
816
00:54:53,753 --> 00:54:55,797
- Big bullets! Big bullets!
- Come on! Come on!
817
00:54:59,759 --> 00:55:02,053
Next man who moves will die!
818
00:55:06,057 --> 00:55:08,059
Who are you people?
819
00:55:15,108 --> 00:55:17,401
We are the stockburn brothers.
820
00:55:17,485 --> 00:55:19,362
Frank's kids?
821
00:55:22,949 --> 00:55:27,704
Well... this is interesting.
822
00:55:27,787 --> 00:55:31,207
You know, the last time
i saw your father was in Utah.
823
00:55:31,290 --> 00:55:33,584
Just rang up our biggest score.
824
00:55:34,753 --> 00:55:36,420
But when we was dividing it up,
825
00:55:36,504 --> 00:55:39,423
we started having trouble
with the arithmetic.
826
00:55:39,507 --> 00:55:43,678
And somehow I ended up
abandoned beside a windmill,
827
00:55:43,762 --> 00:55:48,391
knife stuck in my guts,
left to die like a dog.
828
00:55:48,474 --> 00:55:50,810
Frank had taken it all.
829
00:55:50,894 --> 00:55:53,980
But now, I get to take something.
830
00:55:54,063 --> 00:55:58,276
The lives of his five ridiculous sons.
831
00:56:02,071 --> 00:56:03,489
Don't forget about n�mero seis!
832
00:56:07,994 --> 00:56:10,079
Holy moly!
833
00:56:10,163 --> 00:56:11,706
No! Hell, no!
834
00:56:27,972 --> 00:56:31,600
He's giving himself
six bullets to the head!
835
00:56:31,685 --> 00:56:33,853
And he's still smiling!
836
00:56:45,156 --> 00:56:47,116
I was just trying to knock him out.
837
00:56:48,159 --> 00:56:50,787
Well, you succeeded.
838
00:56:50,870 --> 00:56:52,706
I don't think he's waking up
from that one.
839
00:56:52,789 --> 00:56:54,665
You done a number on him, Ramon.
840
00:56:54,749 --> 00:56:56,209
You did!
You did a number there.
841
00:56:56,292 --> 00:56:58,544
-Yeah, you did!
-Hey! Hey!
842
00:57:12,641 --> 00:57:15,603
Plan b was officially insane!
843
00:57:19,565 --> 00:57:22,902
Here you are, Danny.
It's an old apache remedy.
844
00:57:24,863 --> 00:57:27,991
Clears your head after too much firewater.
845
00:57:28,074 --> 00:57:31,911
You know everything, Tommy.
Where'd you learn all this stuff?
846
00:57:31,995 --> 00:57:33,913
My father taught me.
847
00:57:33,997 --> 00:57:37,250
Dad? I thought you just met him last week.
848
00:57:37,333 --> 00:57:40,544
Not our father. Screaming eagle.
849
00:57:40,628 --> 00:57:42,463
He raised me since I was a kid.
850
00:57:42,546 --> 00:57:46,634
He's the kindest...
Wisest man I've ever known.
851
00:57:46,718 --> 00:57:47,802
Wow...
852
00:57:48,887 --> 00:57:50,930
Must've been nice to have a dad.
853
00:57:51,014 --> 00:57:54,308
Oh, yeah, someone to wrastle with
854
00:57:54,392 --> 00:57:56,644
and teach you how
to cut up your panny-cakes.
855
00:57:56,728 --> 00:58:01,315
Someone to give you advice
when you screwed up real, real bad.
856
00:58:02,566 --> 00:58:04,110
Well, we do got a dad.
857
00:58:05,528 --> 00:58:07,655
And we're gonna see him real soon.
858
00:58:10,074 --> 00:58:12,368
Yeah... I can't wait.
859
00:58:13,953 --> 00:58:15,246
Yeah.
860
00:58:15,329 --> 00:58:19,042
? When I meet dad
I must insist ?
861
00:58:19,125 --> 00:58:22,503
? On making up
for all the time we missed ?
862
00:58:26,841 --> 00:58:31,888
? Then we'll search hand in hand
for the taco tree ?
863
00:58:33,139 --> 00:58:36,851
? When I meet dad
I'm gonna ask him why ?
864
00:58:36,935 --> 00:58:41,355
? Did he pork my mother
then say goodbye ?
865
00:58:41,439 --> 00:58:45,109
? We're gonna be just like
birds of a feather ?
866
00:59:06,089 --> 00:59:10,176
? You're the handsomest man
and you're really, really good ?
867
00:59:10,259 --> 00:59:14,222
? I love you, pa
and I'm glad you're my pa ?
868
00:59:37,912 --> 00:59:39,163
Hit it, herm!
869
00:59:57,723 --> 01:00:02,686
? Well, I had a dad
and now I have two ?
870
01:00:02,770 --> 01:00:07,358
? But one thing I never had
was a mother like you ?
871
01:00:07,441 --> 01:00:12,613
? She lost her life 'cause of me
and I miss her every day ?
872
01:01:03,998 --> 01:01:05,124
What the...
873
01:01:07,335 --> 01:01:08,794
Okay, boys.
874
01:01:09,878 --> 01:01:11,547
I'm gonna check this out.
875
01:01:14,592 --> 01:01:17,886
The ball is in your hand,
twist the leg, then you let it go!
876
01:01:17,971 --> 01:01:19,722
Now, let me see.
Ready, men?
877
01:01:20,932 --> 01:01:23,226
No, no, no!
878
01:01:23,309 --> 01:01:25,937
You're not listening to me, hung shin!
879
01:01:26,020 --> 01:01:28,772
You have to be very precise.
880
01:01:28,856 --> 01:01:31,317
Precise...
881
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:32,818
I say!
882
01:01:32,901 --> 01:01:34,070
You there!
883
01:01:34,153 --> 01:01:37,240
I have a proposition.
884
01:01:37,323 --> 01:01:40,701
How would you men like to participate
885
01:01:40,784 --> 01:01:43,871
in the birth of something extraordinary?
886
01:01:43,955 --> 01:01:48,042
Well, we ain't got time for that,
but you can have your brown thing back.
887
01:01:49,418 --> 01:01:51,504
What's so damnably important
888
01:01:51,587 --> 01:01:53,965
that you need to miss
your rendezvous with history?
889
01:01:54,048 --> 01:01:56,925
We gotta save our daddy,
frank stockburn.
890
01:01:57,010 --> 01:01:58,469
Frank stockburn, the outlaw?
891
01:01:58,552 --> 01:02:00,888
-You know our dad?
-Without a doubt.
892
01:02:00,972 --> 01:02:03,557
One of the best poker players
I've ever played against.
893
01:02:03,641 --> 01:02:08,646
I played him in Ezekiel Grant's
annual Valentine's day game down in yuma.
894
01:02:08,729 --> 01:02:13,609
Thousands of dollars on the table,
but stockburn doesn't bat an eyelash.
895
01:02:13,692 --> 01:02:17,530
He happen to mention anything
about what his biggest score was?
896
01:02:17,613 --> 01:02:20,949
Over in Utah?
A guy named smiley Harris?
897
01:02:21,950 --> 01:02:23,452
I'll make you a deal.
898
01:02:23,536 --> 01:02:27,540
Help me out a bit
and I'll tell you all I know.
899
01:02:27,623 --> 01:02:30,293
Deal. Tommy dunson.
900
01:02:30,376 --> 01:02:34,005
Abner doubleday.
Let's play ball.
901
01:02:40,219 --> 01:02:45,183
Welcome, my friends, to the first ever
playing of a new sport.
902
01:02:45,266 --> 01:02:49,145
A sport of my own devising.
903
01:02:49,228 --> 01:02:55,443
On this field, two ten-person teams
will engage in a battle of--
904
01:02:55,526 --> 01:02:56,985
yes, qi?
905
01:02:57,070 --> 01:02:59,822
Only 18 people here.
906
01:03:00,948 --> 01:03:07,330
Two nine-person teams will engage in
a battle of strength, speed, and strategy.
907
01:03:07,413 --> 01:03:12,126
One team will go out onto
the field to play defense
908
01:03:12,210 --> 01:03:16,839
while the other team
will take turns hitting this ball...
909
01:03:18,341 --> 01:03:19,758
With a stickie.
910
01:03:19,842 --> 01:03:21,927
What are you gonna call this game?
911
01:03:22,010 --> 01:03:23,262
What else?
912
01:03:23,346 --> 01:03:26,014
Stickie mcschnickens.
913
01:03:28,267 --> 01:03:33,189
Now your goal, ball thrower,
is to get the ball past me two times
914
01:03:33,272 --> 01:03:34,857
without my hitting it.
915
01:03:34,940 --> 01:03:38,026
Fire when ready.
916
01:03:41,405 --> 01:03:44,950
I didn't know you were going
to toss it quite so hard, ball thrower.
917
01:03:45,033 --> 01:03:46,034
All right.
918
01:03:51,582 --> 01:03:54,793
Okay, that's two past ya.
So you're done, right?
919
01:03:54,877 --> 01:03:56,962
No, no, I said three times.
920
01:03:57,045 --> 01:03:58,797
No, you said two.
921
01:03:58,881 --> 01:04:01,675
I said three!
Three strikes and I'm out.
922
01:04:01,759 --> 01:04:04,595
I know what I said, shortstop.
923
01:04:05,971 --> 01:04:08,849
That's your new name.
Short stop, that's right.
924
01:04:08,932 --> 01:04:10,684
Now and forever.
Forever and ever!
925
01:04:10,768 --> 01:04:12,770
Short stop.
Short stop, short stop.
926
01:04:12,853 --> 01:04:13,896
Short stop.
927
01:04:15,981 --> 01:04:17,358
Yes, all right.
928
01:04:19,110 --> 01:04:20,778
Strike three!
You're out!
929
01:04:20,861 --> 01:04:24,990
No, no, the ball was... too low.
930
01:04:25,073 --> 01:04:30,121
In order for it to count as a strike,
it has to pass through the...
931
01:04:30,204 --> 01:04:31,455
Strike zone.
932
01:04:31,539 --> 01:04:33,207
-Strike zone?
-That's right.
933
01:04:33,291 --> 01:04:37,711
And if you don't get the ball past me,
between my knees and my titties,
934
01:04:37,795 --> 01:04:38,962
it's not a strike.
935
01:04:39,046 --> 01:04:40,548
It's a non-strike.
936
01:04:40,631 --> 01:04:42,258
And if you throw me four non-strikes,
937
01:04:42,341 --> 01:04:45,386
I get an express ticket to first base
without my even hitting it.
938
01:04:45,886 --> 01:04:47,180
Oh.
939
01:04:47,263 --> 01:04:48,681
All right, are we ready?
940
01:04:53,311 --> 01:04:56,439
That also gets me to first base...
As well.
941
01:05:07,741 --> 01:05:08,992
Where you going?
Nobody hit it.
942
01:05:09,076 --> 01:05:12,288
I stole the base.
You weren't looking, so I stole it.
943
01:05:12,371 --> 01:05:15,499
You said you could only advance
after you hit the ball!
944
01:05:15,583 --> 01:05:17,793
Not when you're stealing.
945
01:05:17,876 --> 01:05:19,503
That's bullshit.
946
01:05:19,587 --> 01:05:20,838
Okay, short stop.
947
01:05:38,689 --> 01:05:39,773
He's moving!
948
01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:43,444
Safe!
949
01:05:50,493 --> 01:05:51,494
Gall dang, I don't know.
950
01:05:51,577 --> 01:05:54,580
-That was a tie.
-Yes, and tie goes to the runner!
951
01:05:54,663 --> 01:05:56,249
Why's that?
952
01:05:56,332 --> 01:06:00,669
Because those are the rules
of stickie mcschnickens, that's why.
953
01:06:03,756 --> 01:06:05,424
All right, it's all mine,
I've got it!
954
01:06:05,508 --> 01:06:08,719
No! No, you can't run.
You cannot run.
955
01:06:08,802 --> 01:06:12,723
Infield fly rule... in full effect.
956
01:06:15,476 --> 01:06:16,519
You're out.
957
01:06:18,396 --> 01:06:19,980
- Here we go, herm.
- Okay, herm!
958
01:06:20,063 --> 01:06:21,106
Yeah.
959
01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:27,405
Oh!
960
01:06:27,488 --> 01:06:29,282
Oh, I'm not getting that.
961
01:06:29,365 --> 01:06:30,491
Yeah, bueno!
962
01:06:30,574 --> 01:06:34,578
You can just run all the way home.
A home runner.
963
01:06:35,996 --> 01:06:37,706
I need a cold drink.
964
01:06:37,790 --> 01:06:41,502
Let's take a five-minute stretch
and then start the second half.
965
01:06:41,585 --> 01:06:43,296
Mr. doubleday, we're done.
966
01:06:43,379 --> 01:06:45,423
But we've only played nine innings.
967
01:06:45,506 --> 01:06:49,260
Nine innings is enough.
Tell us about dad's biggest score.
968
01:06:49,343 --> 01:06:50,928
Fine.
969
01:06:51,011 --> 01:06:57,393
Your father and his gang knocked off
an entire cavalry regiment, 120 men,
970
01:06:57,476 --> 01:06:59,937
five trunks filled with yankee money.
971
01:07:01,272 --> 01:07:02,398
Where'd that happen?
972
01:07:02,481 --> 01:07:05,401
Up at sweet hog rock...
973
01:07:05,484 --> 01:07:07,361
100 miles due north.
974
01:07:07,445 --> 01:07:09,196
You'll know it when you see it.
975
01:07:09,280 --> 01:07:11,031
Well, fellas,
976
01:07:11,114 --> 01:07:15,118
looks like we're going to sweet hog rock
to find ourselves a singing windmill.
977
01:07:15,202 --> 01:07:16,912
But we still need another 10,000 bucks.
978
01:07:16,995 --> 01:07:19,332
I reckon we'll make a quick stop, then.
979
01:07:19,415 --> 01:07:21,166
Before you go...
980
01:07:21,249 --> 01:07:24,211
Do you wanna line up and shake hands
and say "good game" to each other?
981
01:07:24,837 --> 01:07:25,838
No.
982
01:07:27,298 --> 01:07:29,342
{\an8}Them boys were nice fellers.
983
01:07:29,425 --> 01:07:32,720
{\an8}Paid in cash.
Kept the profanity to a minimum.
984
01:07:32,803 --> 01:07:36,724
And the Mexican brother knocked
this hard-ass' head off with a shovel?
985
01:07:36,807 --> 01:07:40,561
Dang thing flew nearly 40 feet!
And still a-smilin'.
986
01:07:40,644 --> 01:07:41,645
Oh! Man!
987
01:07:41,729 --> 01:07:44,147
And hasn't stopped yet.
988
01:07:47,985 --> 01:07:52,906
Oh, hell, no!
My man gluing on heads and shit!
989
01:07:52,990 --> 01:07:55,493
Wish he'd glue the head back on my pecker.
990
01:07:55,576 --> 01:07:57,035
What happened to your pecker?
991
01:07:57,119 --> 01:08:00,373
I was part of another gang
before I joined up with y'all.
992
01:08:00,456 --> 01:08:01,540
Texas stubbies.
993
01:08:01,624 --> 01:08:04,877
Okay,
never mind all that. Okay?
994
01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:09,590
Now, doc, you know which way
them there ridiculous 6 rode off to?
995
01:08:09,673 --> 01:08:12,259
We're traveling
with a friend of theirs who, uh...
996
01:08:12,343 --> 01:08:14,428
Will be real excited to see them.
997
01:08:14,512 --> 01:08:16,889
Well, they headed up north
to the turquoise trail.
998
01:08:18,015 --> 01:08:19,600
I can show you on the map over here.
999
01:08:21,685 --> 01:08:24,438
Looking forward to seeing
your man beg for his life?
1000
01:08:25,648 --> 01:08:27,858
'Cause that's what's gonna happen,
smoking fox.
1001
01:08:27,941 --> 01:08:30,486
Chicken pox!
1002
01:08:30,569 --> 01:08:33,489
We're gaining on his
injun-loving ass every day.
1003
01:08:33,572 --> 01:08:35,115
He messed with the left-eye gang!
1004
01:08:35,198 --> 01:08:36,367
He's gonna be like,
1005
01:08:36,450 --> 01:08:43,040
"wait, how did you find me, and where...
How did you get my girl?"
1006
01:08:43,123 --> 01:08:47,252
And then old dumb knife's gonna realize
that he's in way over his head.
1007
01:08:50,297 --> 01:08:54,217
See, when George Washington
invented America...
1008
01:09:11,902 --> 01:09:13,571
Excuse me, sheriff.
1009
01:09:13,654 --> 01:09:15,448
Is there a church in this town?
1010
01:09:15,531 --> 01:09:18,701
This is rattler's gulch, you halfwit.
1011
01:09:18,784 --> 01:09:22,538
The meanest, crookedest,
most hellacious town in the west.
1012
01:09:22,621 --> 01:09:26,208
We don't need no preacher telling us
what we can and cannot do.
1013
01:09:26,291 --> 01:09:29,044
So it's all right
if I do this to your wife?
1014
01:09:50,107 --> 01:09:53,861
I can't wait to see all you nice people
when I'm dangling!
1015
01:09:53,944 --> 01:09:55,403
You sick bastard.
1016
01:09:55,488 --> 01:09:57,030
Get this over with.
1017
01:09:57,114 --> 01:10:00,909
You're in for a real treat today.
This is gonna be so much fun.
1018
01:10:09,752 --> 01:10:12,004
I'm just messing with y'all.
I'm fine!
1019
01:10:14,047 --> 01:10:15,924
I call this one fish out of water.
1020
01:10:25,851 --> 01:10:29,437
? He flies through the air
with the greatest of ease ?
1021
01:10:29,522 --> 01:10:33,316
? That daring young man
on the flying trapeze ?
1022
01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:34,985
Yeah!
1023
01:10:41,909 --> 01:10:42,951
Yeah!
1024
01:10:43,577 --> 01:10:46,246
Herm, put the hookers back.
1025
01:10:47,998 --> 01:10:49,374
Come on!
1026
01:10:52,878 --> 01:10:56,674
Yeah, you can't catch me!
1027
01:10:59,635 --> 01:11:02,638
He ain't dying, Billy!
He's making a fool of you!
1028
01:11:02,721 --> 01:11:04,264
Whoo-hoo!
1029
01:11:04,347 --> 01:11:05,348
All right, that's it!
1030
01:11:05,432 --> 01:11:07,225
We'll shoot the son of a bitch!
1031
01:11:07,309 --> 01:11:08,936
On my command!
1032
01:11:09,019 --> 01:11:11,104
Ready...
1033
01:11:11,188 --> 01:11:12,480
Aim...
1034
01:11:13,065 --> 01:11:14,858
Fire!
1035
01:11:21,323 --> 01:11:24,577
Wind took him, Tommy.
Came damn close.
1036
01:11:24,660 --> 01:11:26,870
I'm okay!
1037
01:11:26,954 --> 01:11:29,164
Come on, Billy!
Get him!
1038
01:11:29,247 --> 01:11:30,791
We did it!
1039
01:11:33,669 --> 01:11:36,922
I told ya
i got a strong neck!
1040
01:11:50,352 --> 01:11:53,230
We still gotta get to sweet hog rock
before they do.
1041
01:11:53,313 --> 01:11:55,816
Gotta find that singing windmill,
so it ain't over yet.
1042
01:11:55,899 --> 01:11:57,109
We got the money!
1043
01:11:57,192 --> 01:12:00,278
- The ridiculous 6 got all the money!
- Yeah!
1044
01:12:00,362 --> 01:12:01,446
Yeah!
1045
01:12:03,741 --> 01:12:06,785
Tommy! Tommy! What's dad like?
Is he funny?
1046
01:12:06,869 --> 01:12:08,453
Yeah, is he a good listener?
1047
01:12:08,536 --> 01:12:09,955
Is he strong?
1048
01:12:14,459 --> 01:12:17,838
All great questions.
I'll tell you this.
1049
01:12:17,921 --> 01:12:19,840
I think you guys are gonna love him.
1050
01:12:20,883 --> 01:12:23,927
But I'm sure he's gonna love you guys.
1051
01:12:26,221 --> 01:12:28,974
So sorry to interrupt
such a tender moment.
1052
01:12:29,057 --> 01:12:32,144
Looks like we stumbled
on bath day, boys!
1053
01:12:33,896 --> 01:12:36,523
I heard you picked up some brothers
along the way, tough guy.
1054
01:12:36,607 --> 01:12:38,609
But I don't see no resemblance.
1055
01:12:38,692 --> 01:12:42,279
I do, they all look like my butthole.
1056
01:12:45,532 --> 01:12:47,450
So guess what time it is, boys?
1057
01:12:47,534 --> 01:12:48,827
Payback time!
1058
01:12:48,911 --> 01:12:52,289
Any last words,
no knife?
1059
01:12:59,296 --> 01:13:00,756
I told ya I could hold my breath good.
1060
01:13:00,839 --> 01:13:02,049
Yeah, Danny boy!
1061
01:13:02,132 --> 01:13:04,843
What are you doing, man?
We gotta go!
1062
01:13:07,470 --> 01:13:09,890
-Oh, jackpot, boys!
-No!
1063
01:13:11,099 --> 01:13:12,893
- That's ours!
- Hyah!
1064
01:13:17,064 --> 01:13:18,190
Rusty!
1065
01:13:18,273 --> 01:13:20,608
Rusty, no, come back!
1066
01:13:20,693 --> 01:13:21,735
No.
1067
01:13:33,621 --> 01:13:37,668
How are we gonna save him?
We're startin' all over.
1068
01:13:37,751 --> 01:13:40,087
Is there any more good places
we can rob?
1069
01:13:40,170 --> 01:13:43,882
You know like a burro-grooming place
or a shoe store for burros?
1070
01:13:44,549 --> 01:13:47,302
Half the lawmen in the west
are already looking for us.
1071
01:13:47,385 --> 01:13:50,055
So what?
Look, we can't stop.
1072
01:13:50,138 --> 01:13:51,389
They're going to kill him!
1073
01:13:51,473 --> 01:13:53,851
Ain't no difference.
He's dying anyways.
1074
01:13:57,896 --> 01:13:59,564
Dad's sick.
1075
01:14:00,733 --> 01:14:02,359
I'm sorry I didn't tell y'all.
1076
01:14:03,235 --> 01:14:05,696
There's a good chance
he's dead already.
1077
01:14:08,531 --> 01:14:12,410
But there's a chance he's not.
You got to meet him, Tommy.
1078
01:14:12,494 --> 01:14:14,412
The rest of us...
1079
01:14:14,496 --> 01:14:16,999
Even if it was just for five minutes,
it'd be worth it.
1080
01:14:17,082 --> 01:14:22,880
If I don't talk to dad, I'll die with this
dirty secret burnin' a hole in my guts.
1081
01:14:22,963 --> 01:14:27,634
Danito, whatever it is you did,
you have to forgive yourself, man.
1082
01:14:27,718 --> 01:14:30,053
You wouldn't say that if you know
what I done.
1083
01:14:30,137 --> 01:14:32,597
- Everybody's got secrets, Danny.
- Yeah.
1084
01:14:32,680 --> 01:14:35,058
You guys are the first people
i told I was black.
1085
01:14:35,142 --> 01:14:37,602
You know how good that made me feel?
1086
01:14:37,685 --> 01:14:39,772
We're your brothers.
1087
01:14:39,855 --> 01:14:41,857
You can tell us anything.
1088
01:14:43,608 --> 01:14:44,735
I, uh...
1089
01:14:48,071 --> 01:14:50,824
I used to work
for the President of the United States.
1090
01:14:52,617 --> 01:14:54,619
I was his personal bodyguard.
1091
01:14:55,620 --> 01:14:56,872
One of the best.
1092
01:14:57,790 --> 01:14:59,666
Till one night...
1093
01:15:04,712 --> 01:15:07,966
Mr. president, say, I'm gonna go
hit the little boys' room.
1094
01:15:08,050 --> 01:15:10,302
Are you shitting me?
1095
01:15:10,385 --> 01:15:12,637
Come on!
You'll be fine, superstar.
1096
01:15:12,720 --> 01:15:15,974
Can I get ya something on the way back?
Agua? Brewski?
1097
01:15:16,058 --> 01:15:17,184
No!
1098
01:15:17,267 --> 01:15:20,478
Mrs. Lincoln, how about one of them
big pretzels or a little pillow?
1099
01:15:20,562 --> 01:15:22,480
I hear this play's kind of a long one.
1100
01:15:23,606 --> 01:15:26,109
All right, fair enough.
I'll be back in two.
1101
01:15:33,241 --> 01:15:35,077
Where's the president's box?
1102
01:15:35,160 --> 01:15:37,788
-John wilkes booth, the actor?
-Yeah.
1103
01:15:37,871 --> 01:15:40,623
No way, man! Big fan!
1104
01:15:40,707 --> 01:15:42,542
-You wanna say hi to the president?
-Yeah.
1105
01:15:42,625 --> 01:15:45,253
He'd get a real kick out of that.
Last door on the left.
1106
01:15:45,337 --> 01:15:47,339
- Thank you.
- Really cool.
1107
01:15:47,422 --> 01:15:49,842
Wow! Love that guy!
1108
01:15:55,347 --> 01:15:59,351
Abe!
1109
01:16:03,730 --> 01:16:08,235
How can you go on living your life
knowing you harmed so many people?
1110
01:16:08,318 --> 01:16:10,153
That's what I wanna ask dad.
1111
01:16:10,237 --> 01:16:13,615
Hey, you ain't the one
who pulled that trigger.
1112
01:16:13,698 --> 01:16:16,659
But if dad's gotta be
the one who tells you that...
1113
01:16:18,829 --> 01:16:20,580
Then let's go get that money.
1114
01:16:20,663 --> 01:16:23,166
I just wish I knew how.
1115
01:16:26,794 --> 01:16:28,046
Herm's got an idea.
1116
01:16:29,422 --> 01:16:30,841
He just can't express it.
1117
01:16:32,467 --> 01:16:34,552
I just wish somebody here
could speak herm.
1118
01:16:41,226 --> 01:16:43,520
Tomorrow is Valentine's day.
1119
01:16:43,603 --> 01:16:48,150
That's when Ezekiel Grant has his annual
high-stakes poker game.
1120
01:16:48,233 --> 01:16:51,987
There'll be oodles of money there.
Oodles, I say.
1121
01:16:52,070 --> 01:16:53,530
Ooh.
1122
01:16:53,613 --> 01:16:56,616
-I don't know. That sounds risky.
-What's risky?
1123
01:16:56,699 --> 01:17:00,913
He's suggesting we...
Knock off Ezekiel Grant's poker game.
1124
01:17:00,996 --> 01:17:02,247
It's in yuma tomorrow night.
1125
01:17:02,330 --> 01:17:04,582
Yuma's less than a day's walk from here.
1126
01:17:04,666 --> 01:17:08,420
That poker game, there's practically
gonna be an army protectin' it.
1127
01:17:08,503 --> 01:17:12,674
If Tommy says we can beat 'em,
I'll believe him.
1128
01:17:12,757 --> 01:17:15,718
We all will.
1129
01:17:17,971 --> 01:17:19,306
We can beat 'em...
1130
01:17:20,640 --> 01:17:21,724
For dad.
1131
01:17:21,808 --> 01:17:23,435
For dad!
1132
01:17:38,450 --> 01:17:42,412
I hope you like the gift I'm giving you
for Valentine's day, Ezekiel.
1133
01:17:42,495 --> 01:17:46,833
I'll give you a hint.
One-hour massage, no charge.
1134
01:17:46,917 --> 01:17:49,211
Oh, susannah.
1135
01:17:49,294 --> 01:17:51,171
You know what gift I'd really love?
1136
01:17:51,254 --> 01:17:53,924
If you would just shut up!
1137
01:17:54,549 --> 01:17:57,344
Nothing ruins a good poker game more...
1138
01:17:57,427 --> 01:18:01,223
Than a lady jabbering on and on...
1139
01:18:01,306 --> 01:18:03,516
How romantic.
1140
01:18:06,436 --> 01:18:07,437
-Hello!
-Hello!
1141
01:18:07,520 --> 01:18:09,897
Well, general custer!
1142
01:18:09,982 --> 01:18:11,316
Yes, at your service.
1143
01:18:11,399 --> 01:18:12,943
Mr. mark twain.
1144
01:18:13,026 --> 01:18:15,070
-Word up!
-Gentlemen, do come in.
1145
01:18:15,153 --> 01:18:19,741
Yo, Zeke, big boy, I was just going off
to the general here about my new book.
1146
01:18:19,824 --> 01:18:22,035
-It's a sequel to tom Sawyer.
-Ooh.
1147
01:18:22,119 --> 01:18:24,997
It's about Sawyer's home slice,
huckleberry Finn.
1148
01:18:25,080 --> 01:18:28,916
White boy goes raftin' with a brother.
People gonna lose their shit!
1149
01:18:30,085 --> 01:18:34,339
And, general custer, I see you've let
your dashing blond hair grow out.
1150
01:18:34,422 --> 01:18:37,592
Well, yes, the barber down at
the regiment is just awful,
1151
01:18:37,675 --> 01:18:41,346
so I had two choices,
either let it grow or get scalped.
1152
01:18:41,429 --> 01:18:44,141
And I ain't gonna let that happen.
1153
01:18:44,224 --> 01:18:47,102
Now, will our old friend
from tombstone be joining us?
1154
01:18:47,185 --> 01:18:48,228
Late as usual.
1155
01:18:48,311 --> 01:18:53,691
But we have a new player,
a wealthy Mexican coffee bean rancher.
1156
01:18:53,775 --> 01:18:54,859
Am I tardy-o?
1157
01:18:54,942 --> 01:18:57,904
Oh. Sneaky little Mexican.
1158
01:18:59,239 --> 01:19:01,366
May I present don don Diego.
1159
01:19:04,244 --> 01:19:06,954
We run a gentleman's game here, Mr. Diego.
1160
01:19:07,039 --> 01:19:10,583
Your, uh, two bodyguards
are completely unnecessary.
1161
01:19:10,667 --> 01:19:12,502
Bodyguards?
1162
01:19:13,503 --> 01:19:15,130
You're mistaken, general.
1163
01:19:15,213 --> 01:19:17,132
This is, um...
1164
01:19:17,215 --> 01:19:21,261
Chimichanga... my loyal manservant.
1165
01:19:23,055 --> 01:19:24,097
God bless you.
1166
01:19:24,681 --> 01:19:25,682
And, um...
1167
01:19:27,725 --> 01:19:29,394
Blanco beardio.
1168
01:19:30,562 --> 01:19:33,523
He'll be providing the entertainment
for this afternoon's festivities.
1169
01:19:33,606 --> 01:19:35,108
Well, drop me a beat.
1170
01:19:41,114 --> 01:19:42,115
Okay.
1171
01:19:43,825 --> 01:19:44,867
All right.
1172
01:19:46,911 --> 01:19:48,455
Here we go now.
1173
01:19:55,087 --> 01:19:58,423
Gentlemen, the buy-in is $15,000.
1174
01:19:58,506 --> 01:19:59,924
Fifteen large?
1175
01:20:00,007 --> 01:20:01,759
Are you sure general custard
can swing that?
1176
01:20:01,843 --> 01:20:06,306
It's custer, not "custard."
There is no "d." I'm not a dessert.
1177
01:20:06,389 --> 01:20:09,226
Boom, I just dropped some satire
on your ass, general!
1178
01:20:10,852 --> 01:20:11,894
You got me!
1179
01:20:13,438 --> 01:20:16,023
Hey! Now, when Ramon gives
the signal that the time is right,
1180
01:20:16,108 --> 01:20:17,525
that's when we move in.
1181
01:20:17,609 --> 01:20:19,069
You remember the signal, right?
1182
01:20:24,991 --> 01:20:27,369
- Gentlemen.
- You know where to go, marshal.
1183
01:20:27,952 --> 01:20:29,412
Oh, hell, no!
1184
01:20:29,496 --> 01:20:31,331
That's Wyatt earp!
1185
01:20:31,414 --> 01:20:33,750
The fastest gun in the west?
1186
01:20:36,378 --> 01:20:37,754
All right, all right, all right!
1187
01:20:37,837 --> 01:20:41,216
- Oh, Wyatt earp, as I live and breathe!
- Wyatt earp.
1188
01:20:41,299 --> 01:20:43,009
- You're here!
- Wyatt earp.
1189
01:20:43,093 --> 01:20:44,511
Sorry I'm late, everybody.
1190
01:20:44,594 --> 01:20:48,806
But apparently, there's some new gang
out there robbing everybody blind.
1191
01:20:48,890 --> 01:20:50,600
Oh, they call themselves
the ridiculous 6.
1192
01:20:50,683 --> 01:20:54,229
I swear, a man can't ride
five miles in this territory
1193
01:20:54,312 --> 01:20:57,774
without running into outlaws,
rattlesnakes, injuns and--
1194
01:20:57,857 --> 01:21:00,735
hey! Why don't you let me
worry about the injuns?
1195
01:21:00,818 --> 01:21:03,070
Will do, general.
1196
01:21:05,615 --> 01:21:06,824
What's shakin', twain?
1197
01:21:06,908 --> 01:21:09,494
Hey, I'm good on anything.
Just like gravy, baby.
1198
01:21:09,577 --> 01:21:11,371
-Good to see you, my man.
-You too, man.
1199
01:21:11,454 --> 01:21:14,124
Hey! I finally read prince and the pauper.
1200
01:21:14,207 --> 01:21:15,458
Oh, is that right?
1201
01:21:15,542 --> 01:21:16,793
Didn't get it.
1202
01:21:17,794 --> 01:21:18,878
For reals?
1203
01:21:20,004 --> 01:21:22,882
Satire! Boom! I got ya!
1204
01:21:22,965 --> 01:21:25,885
-I'm just pulling your leg.
-Oh, man.
1205
01:21:25,968 --> 01:21:27,429
I can't read.
1206
01:21:30,473 --> 01:21:32,642
Good one with the... satire.
1207
01:21:32,725 --> 01:21:34,477
Funny.
1208
01:21:36,771 --> 01:21:37,814
Who's this idiot?
1209
01:21:40,066 --> 01:21:42,360
Um... I am don...
1210
01:21:42,444 --> 01:21:44,070
don don Diego.
1211
01:21:45,405 --> 01:21:47,407
Well, don, I'm Wyatt...
1212
01:21:47,490 --> 01:21:48,700
Wyatt Wyatt earp.
1213
01:21:53,705 --> 01:21:55,373
Got him.
1214
01:21:55,457 --> 01:22:00,170
Now let's play
some cards!
1215
01:22:12,390 --> 01:22:14,476
? Say the blacks and the whites
are getting along ?
1216
01:22:14,559 --> 01:22:16,478
? The blacks and the whites
are getting along ?
1217
01:22:20,273 --> 01:22:22,192
Please calm yourself!
1218
01:22:23,318 --> 01:22:26,613
Let's get inside before this Wyatt earp
ruins our plan.
1219
01:22:26,696 --> 01:22:29,115
But there's no way for you to sneak
past them guys, Tommy.
1220
01:22:29,199 --> 01:22:32,452
There's no rocks, no trees,
no nothing to hide behind.
1221
01:22:32,535 --> 01:22:36,998
No need to hide, brother,
when you are friends with the wind.
1222
01:22:37,081 --> 01:22:39,792
I'm telling you, down there,
they don't call it "Mexico."
1223
01:22:39,876 --> 01:22:45,006
It's "mehico." The "x" is an "h."
I'm presuming Texas is "tehas."
1224
01:22:46,758 --> 01:22:48,885
Now, what's this?
1225
01:22:48,968 --> 01:22:51,513
Just a tumbleweed,
you jumpy bastard.
1226
01:23:07,820 --> 01:23:10,657
That is some mystical shit.
1227
01:23:14,452 --> 01:23:18,498
I wish to move the dresser
in my bedroom closer to the window,
1228
01:23:18,581 --> 01:23:21,834
but I haven't the strength
to do it myself.
1229
01:23:21,918 --> 01:23:25,672
I'd love to help, ma'am, but I really
should keep playing the piano.
1230
01:23:27,257 --> 01:23:30,510
No one will even know you're gone.
1231
01:23:35,765 --> 01:23:38,601
-Gentlemen, cough up your buy-ins.
-All right!
1232
01:23:38,685 --> 01:23:39,977
Make it rain like twain.
1233
01:23:40,061 --> 01:23:41,771
- Take that and that.
- Yeah!
1234
01:23:41,854 --> 01:23:45,066
Sure is some good hooch there, Zeke.
Where'd you find that?
1235
01:23:45,149 --> 01:23:49,612
Oh, I got that from a case
about, uh, 20 years ago.
1236
01:23:49,696 --> 01:23:53,157
In fact, uh, you know that shack
up by jawbone falls?
1237
01:23:53,240 --> 01:23:55,785
-Yeah.
-There was a lady living there.
1238
01:23:55,868 --> 01:23:58,455
It was one of frank stockburn's
many paramours.
1239
01:23:58,538 --> 01:24:03,209
Now this was one of the ugliest ladies
I've ever seen in my life.
1240
01:24:03,293 --> 01:24:05,252
Sounds like a real bucket of turds.
1241
01:24:05,337 --> 01:24:09,424
But she was a very talented
distiller of alcohol.
1242
01:24:09,507 --> 01:24:11,926
So, while she--
1243
01:24:12,009 --> 01:24:15,388
while she's loading up my coach,
her young boy comes out,
1244
01:24:15,472 --> 01:24:21,018
this big shambling oaf,
mute, filthy as a hog,
1245
01:24:21,102 --> 01:24:24,522
and he starts doing
this horrible little tap dance
1246
01:24:24,606 --> 01:24:27,567
whilst singing "the star-spangled banner."
1247
01:24:27,650 --> 01:24:30,945
Well, not singing it, really,
but grunting it, like a caveman!
1248
01:24:35,950 --> 01:24:37,619
You know,
he wants me to throw him some pennies,
1249
01:24:37,702 --> 01:24:39,662
so I fished a coin out of my pocket
1250
01:24:39,746 --> 01:24:41,748
and I guess I don't know my own strength.
1251
01:24:41,831 --> 01:24:45,460
I tossed it, hit him in the mouth,
and knocked his tooth out!
1252
01:24:47,795 --> 01:24:49,213
What an asshole!
1253
01:24:50,798 --> 01:24:51,799
Mama.
1254
01:24:52,425 --> 01:24:56,638
In any event, I still have
one bottle left from that case.
1255
01:24:56,721 --> 01:25:01,351
I'll go fetch it and we can drink a toast
to that awful woman and her hideous son.
1256
01:25:02,769 --> 01:25:05,980
Oh, she was ugly!
You wouldn't even sleep with her.
1257
01:25:10,151 --> 01:25:13,029
Say, don don Diego...
1258
01:25:13,112 --> 01:25:14,406
Where's your buy-in?
1259
01:25:14,489 --> 01:25:16,282
I thought it was 15 grand a man.
1260
01:25:16,366 --> 01:25:17,534
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1261
01:25:17,617 --> 01:25:18,826
Uh...
1262
01:25:27,877 --> 01:25:29,546
Let's see. Ah!
1263
01:25:43,393 --> 01:25:44,394
It's you!
1264
01:25:44,477 --> 01:25:45,603
Uh-huh.
1265
01:25:55,613 --> 01:25:56,781
What?
1266
01:25:57,490 --> 01:25:59,409
What "what"?
1267
01:25:59,492 --> 01:26:01,368
What are you so surprised about?
1268
01:26:01,453 --> 01:26:06,207
Just so surprised at all the...
The fun that we're having here,
1269
01:26:06,290 --> 01:26:08,585
with the card and the money
and the booze and...
1270
01:26:10,753 --> 01:26:13,840
You know, I make that same face when
i put my Cologne on in the morning,
1271
01:26:13,923 --> 01:26:16,008
especially when I'm home alone.
1272
01:26:16,092 --> 01:26:17,343
You know what I think?
1273
01:26:17,427 --> 01:26:21,138
I think don don Diego isn't really
a coffee bean rancher at all.
1274
01:26:21,222 --> 01:26:24,892
And his true purpose here is to rob us.
1275
01:26:27,186 --> 01:26:29,897
Don't make me kill you, Mr. earp.
1276
01:26:29,981 --> 01:26:31,649
Hands up high.
1277
01:26:31,733 --> 01:26:34,694
Oh, snap!
You got the drop on Wyatt earp?
1278
01:26:34,777 --> 01:26:38,322
It's mi hermano.
He's one bad hombre.
1279
01:26:41,576 --> 01:26:42,994
No disrespect, fellas.
1280
01:26:43,077 --> 01:26:46,456
We're gonna have to tie you up,
and we'll have to borrow your horses.
1281
01:26:47,665 --> 01:26:49,291
Ooh, what'd I miss?
1282
01:26:50,918 --> 01:26:53,963
Sweet hog rock,
here we come!
1283
01:26:57,383 --> 01:26:59,552
Giddy up, burro.
1284
01:26:59,636 --> 01:27:00,845
Come on, Ramon!
1285
01:27:14,692 --> 01:27:16,318
Right behind you, Tommy!
1286
01:27:17,319 --> 01:27:19,822
Hurry up, burro!
Move your ass!
1287
01:27:25,870 --> 01:27:27,705
Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
1288
01:27:30,625 --> 01:27:32,669
Yeah, I think we found it.
1289
01:27:32,752 --> 01:27:36,881
That is one sweet hog right there.
1290
01:27:36,964 --> 01:27:40,677
That is a sweet, majestic hog.
1291
01:27:40,760 --> 01:27:43,095
Yeah, that's a sweet one for sure.
1292
01:27:44,055 --> 01:27:45,181
It's all right.
1293
01:27:46,849 --> 01:27:50,853
I'm confused.
I don't see a hog or a pig anywhere.
1294
01:27:50,937 --> 01:27:54,524
All I see is the big old rock
that looks like a weenie pee-pee.
1295
01:27:58,820 --> 01:28:01,573
-Oh, you guys call a pee-pee a "hog."
-Yeah.
1296
01:28:01,656 --> 01:28:04,450
- That's weird. I like it, though.
- Yeah. Okay.
1297
01:28:04,534 --> 01:28:07,244
Problem is, I don't see
no singing windmill anywhere.
1298
01:28:07,328 --> 01:28:09,205
Wait...
1299
01:28:09,288 --> 01:28:10,372
I hear it.
1300
01:28:11,624 --> 01:28:13,292
Yeah, it's coming from over there.
1301
01:28:13,375 --> 01:28:16,462
Ah! Daddy! Daddy!
1302
01:28:17,129 --> 01:28:19,298
Daddy!
Huh?
1303
01:28:19,381 --> 01:28:20,466
Whoa...
1304
01:28:21,593 --> 01:28:24,596
We're saved! We're saved!
1305
01:28:26,222 --> 01:28:29,726
Oh, it's just these assholes.
1306
01:28:29,809 --> 01:28:31,518
What the hell happened to you guys?
1307
01:28:31,603 --> 01:28:37,984
We was headed west to frisco
after we absconded with your loot.
1308
01:28:40,069 --> 01:28:42,614
But we ran into these real bad characters.
1309
01:28:42,697 --> 01:28:46,325
It was Cicero something
and his crazy-ass gang.
1310
01:28:47,577 --> 01:28:50,121
Cicero was here?
Then he left?
1311
01:28:50,204 --> 01:28:53,875
He left us in the dirt for fun.
1312
01:28:53,958 --> 01:28:55,501
Ow! Ow, ow!
1313
01:28:56,210 --> 01:28:57,253
Who does that?
1314
01:28:57,336 --> 01:28:59,672
Sicko!
1315
01:29:01,382 --> 01:29:04,594
If this is where the singing windmill is,
then why would they just up and leave?
1316
01:29:04,677 --> 01:29:08,097
Maybe that stickie mcschnickens guy
was just pulling our leg.
1317
01:29:08,180 --> 01:29:11,392
They went north...
About two hours ago.
1318
01:29:11,475 --> 01:29:12,685
Oh, yeah! Tommy can track 'em.
1319
01:29:12,769 --> 01:29:14,687
Let's saddle up.
We're burning daylight.
1320
01:29:14,771 --> 01:29:15,813
Wait!
1321
01:29:15,897 --> 01:29:18,357
You can't just leave us here,
you gotta get us out!
1322
01:29:18,440 --> 01:29:19,901
You don't need to-- hey, hey, hey!
1323
01:29:19,984 --> 01:29:21,152
We still got the money!
1324
01:29:21,235 --> 01:29:24,155
Yeah, I hid it in my pants.
We'll give it back to ya!
1325
01:29:24,238 --> 01:29:25,698
We don't need no more.
Let's go!
1326
01:29:27,784 --> 01:29:30,327
Hey! Can you at least
help me pick these ants
1327
01:29:30,411 --> 01:29:33,039
out of my beard before you head out?
1328
01:29:33,122 --> 01:29:34,373
Please?
1329
01:29:34,456 --> 01:29:36,959
Tell you what,
we'll dig you up on one condition.
1330
01:29:37,043 --> 01:29:39,378
You say it, we'll do it!
1331
01:29:39,461 --> 01:29:41,798
That you give up your lives of crime
1332
01:29:41,881 --> 01:29:45,176
and take this second chance to start
doing good by people.
1333
01:29:45,259 --> 01:29:47,636
-I'd rather die!
-Hell, no! I ain't doing that!
1334
01:29:47,720 --> 01:29:50,097
No way! Dumb Indian half!
1335
01:29:51,057 --> 01:29:52,391
That was a joke!
That was a joke!
1336
01:29:52,474 --> 01:29:54,769
I'll be a good boy!
I'll be a good boy, daddy!
1337
01:30:03,194 --> 01:30:05,196
Now what?
East or west?
1338
01:30:05,279 --> 01:30:06,363
Whoa.
1339
01:30:18,918 --> 01:30:20,878
Late in the day.
1340
01:30:20,962 --> 01:30:23,547
Lot of traffic been going through here.
1341
01:30:23,630 --> 01:30:25,216
It's going to take a minute.
1342
01:30:25,299 --> 01:30:28,344
Well, we must be getting mighty close.
1343
01:30:28,427 --> 01:30:31,513
They'd better be treating dad well,
or they're gonna have to answer to us.
1344
01:30:31,597 --> 01:30:33,349
There he is.
1345
01:30:33,432 --> 01:30:34,726
There's the man himself.
1346
01:30:34,809 --> 01:30:36,685
- Look at that handsome hombre.
- Yeah.
1347
01:30:36,769 --> 01:30:38,896
That's where we get our good looks.
1348
01:30:38,980 --> 01:30:41,148
Let me see ol' pop.
1349
01:30:53,745 --> 01:30:55,788
Does he still
look like that, Tommy?
1350
01:30:56,873 --> 01:30:57,957
Tommy?
1351
01:30:58,916 --> 01:31:00,417
Yeah, he does.
1352
01:31:01,585 --> 01:31:04,213
Let's set up camp tonight.
Right out there.
1353
01:31:04,296 --> 01:31:05,631
But we can't waste any time.
1354
01:31:05,714 --> 01:31:08,885
Chico... I can't figure it out right now.
1355
01:31:08,968 --> 01:31:10,136
I gotta...
1356
01:31:10,219 --> 01:31:12,221
Just give me till sunrise.
Let me think.
1357
01:31:42,126 --> 01:31:43,460
Dear brothers,
1358
01:31:43,544 --> 01:31:47,840
by the time you read this,
I will have caught up with dad.
1359
01:31:47,924 --> 01:31:51,718
And I'm sure you're sore at me
for sneaking out on you.
1360
01:31:51,803 --> 01:31:57,558
But this fellow, Cicero, who took pa,
also took my mother's life,
1361
01:31:57,641 --> 01:32:00,686
and I mean to make him pay for that.
1362
01:32:00,769 --> 01:32:02,729
Things might get messy.
1363
01:32:02,814 --> 01:32:06,025
I can live
with all the bad stuff we've done,
1364
01:32:06,108 --> 01:32:11,572
the hold-ups, the burglaries,
the accidental decapitation,
1365
01:32:11,655 --> 01:32:16,035
but I couldn't live with myself
if something happened to one of you.
1366
01:32:16,118 --> 01:32:21,290
So stay put and I'll be back with dad
as soon as I can.
1367
01:32:21,373 --> 01:32:23,250
And if I don't come back,
1368
01:32:23,334 --> 01:32:27,463
know that I love you boys
with all my heart.
1369
01:32:27,546 --> 01:32:30,049
Your brother, Tommy.
1370
01:32:44,688 --> 01:32:46,023
{\an8}Whoa.
1371
01:32:55,116 --> 01:32:57,159
Down at silver canyon...
1372
01:32:57,243 --> 01:32:59,703
Meeting Betty dunson...
1373
01:32:59,786 --> 01:33:02,999
Was the luckiest thing
that ever happened to me.
1374
01:33:05,167 --> 01:33:07,211
Mom was his biggest score.
1375
01:33:08,880 --> 01:33:09,881
Hyah.
1376
01:33:17,972 --> 01:33:18,973
Here we are.
1377
01:33:19,056 --> 01:33:21,350
We'd better not have come
all this way for nothing.
1378
01:33:21,433 --> 01:33:24,353
-I want the money, frank.
-I know what you want.
1379
01:33:25,312 --> 01:33:27,106
There's your money.
1380
01:33:27,189 --> 01:33:28,357
Count it.
1381
01:33:28,440 --> 01:33:30,192
Tommy!
1382
01:33:30,276 --> 01:33:31,568
Oh, look who showed up.
1383
01:33:31,652 --> 01:33:35,072
I didn't know if somebody
dug up what you buried, pa,
1384
01:33:35,156 --> 01:33:37,741
so I wanted to make sure
you were covered either way.
1385
01:33:37,824 --> 01:33:39,660
Thank you, son.
1386
01:33:39,743 --> 01:33:41,453
Well, ain't that a good boy.
1387
01:33:41,537 --> 01:33:43,164
That's my boy.
1388
01:33:43,247 --> 01:33:45,666
Well, it's been a pleasure, frank.
1389
01:33:45,749 --> 01:33:47,501
But, uh...
1390
01:33:47,584 --> 01:33:48,835
We'll be on our way.
1391
01:33:48,920 --> 01:33:50,671
Not so fast.
1392
01:33:50,754 --> 01:33:53,799
You and me got some unfinished business.
1393
01:33:53,882 --> 01:33:56,093
No, our business is done.
1394
01:33:56,177 --> 01:33:59,931
Pa... you remember how I told you ma died?
1395
01:34:00,014 --> 01:34:01,015
Yeah.
1396
01:34:01,098 --> 01:34:04,851
Well, the son of a bitch who shot her...
1397
01:34:04,936 --> 01:34:07,063
Had a tattoo on his hand...
1398
01:34:09,231 --> 01:34:11,275
Just like Cicero here.
1399
01:34:12,193 --> 01:34:14,445
What, you mean...
1400
01:34:14,528 --> 01:34:16,238
My little horseshoe?
1401
01:34:16,322 --> 01:34:18,532
That's always brought me luck.
1402
01:34:19,116 --> 01:34:21,577
Especially when I was shooting somebody.
1403
01:34:21,660 --> 01:34:24,871
Well, killer, your luck just ran out.
1404
01:34:26,040 --> 01:34:28,584
Your hand touch that knife, boy,
1405
01:34:28,667 --> 01:34:31,045
it'll be the last thing you ever touch.
1406
01:34:31,128 --> 01:34:33,464
Oh, I ain't using these knives.
1407
01:34:34,340 --> 01:34:36,217
No.
1408
01:34:36,300 --> 01:34:38,510
Not for my mama.
1409
01:34:38,594 --> 01:34:42,764
I saved a special one just for you.
1410
01:34:57,113 --> 01:34:59,281
Now you die, injun-lover.
1411
01:35:02,409 --> 01:35:04,370
He dies, you die.
1412
01:35:07,081 --> 01:35:11,085
Fourteen of us, six of you.
Doesn't seem quite fair, does it?
1413
01:35:11,168 --> 01:35:13,504
Make that twelve of us.
1414
01:35:18,175 --> 01:35:19,176
Twelve of us!
1415
01:35:23,680 --> 01:35:26,058
I ain't sign up for this shit.
1416
01:35:58,715 --> 01:35:59,925
You seeing this?
1417
01:36:00,008 --> 01:36:01,635
-It's not working.
-What are you doing?
1418
01:36:01,718 --> 01:36:03,595
Don't look like a tumbleweed at all, herm.
1419
01:36:03,679 --> 01:36:05,013
Herm, come back!
Come back, herm.
1420
01:36:06,473 --> 01:36:09,268
All right, all right.
Now, everybody just calm down.
1421
01:36:09,351 --> 01:36:13,480
A man's entitled...
To kill his mother's killer.
1422
01:36:13,564 --> 01:36:19,236
Plus... that's one less guy
you've got to split the money with!
1423
01:36:19,320 --> 01:36:22,073
Good thinking, frank.
Let's ride!
1424
01:36:22,156 --> 01:36:24,408
- Yeah!
- Yeah, get on out of here!
1425
01:36:27,119 --> 01:36:31,207
Good job, son.
I'm really proud of you.
1426
01:36:31,290 --> 01:36:35,294
And getting your friends to come
all the way out here with you, brilliant.
1427
01:36:35,377 --> 01:36:40,341
Well, sir...
They ain't just my friends, they, uh...
1428
01:36:40,424 --> 01:36:41,467
They're my brothers.
1429
01:36:48,390 --> 01:36:49,641
Five?
1430
01:36:49,725 --> 01:36:51,810
You had fun, didn't you, sir?
1431
01:36:54,396 --> 01:36:57,399
Well, I'm gonna introduce myself.
1432
01:36:57,483 --> 01:36:59,651
I think they'd like that.
1433
01:37:04,781 --> 01:37:08,410
Frank stockburn, your dad.
1434
01:37:10,412 --> 01:37:13,540
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
1435
01:37:13,624 --> 01:37:15,417
-Father.
-Son.
1436
01:37:17,711 --> 01:37:19,755
This is my burro.
1437
01:37:19,838 --> 01:37:21,840
Proud to know you, burro.
1438
01:37:23,759 --> 01:37:25,051
He's proud.
1439
01:37:25,136 --> 01:37:28,472
You must be, uh,
Saint Louis, right?
1440
01:37:28,555 --> 01:37:29,806
Chico.
1441
01:37:29,890 --> 01:37:33,059
Boy, you got your mom's muscles.
1442
01:37:34,311 --> 01:37:35,729
You a prizefighter?
1443
01:37:37,105 --> 01:37:40,066
No, actually, I'm a...
Piano player.
1444
01:37:40,151 --> 01:37:41,777
Oh, well, I'll be!
1445
01:37:41,860 --> 01:37:45,697
You know, I've been known
to tickle the ivories myself.
1446
01:37:45,781 --> 01:37:47,783
Now and then, you know.
1447
01:37:47,866 --> 01:37:50,118
We should play together sometime.
1448
01:37:52,037 --> 01:37:53,872
I'd like that, dad.
1449
01:37:53,955 --> 01:37:55,791
I'd like that a lot.
1450
01:37:55,874 --> 01:37:57,459
Yeah, son, we'll do that.
1451
01:38:08,094 --> 01:38:10,514
You must be Delilah's boy.
1452
01:38:12,558 --> 01:38:16,144
Boy, she made some fine,
fine whiskey.
1453
01:38:16,228 --> 01:38:17,438
Ooh, yeah.
1454
01:38:19,190 --> 01:38:23,277
She must've been really hitting it hard
when she was pregnant with you.
1455
01:38:33,036 --> 01:38:34,830
Atta boy, atta boy.
1456
01:38:35,539 --> 01:38:37,708
Da-da.
1457
01:38:37,791 --> 01:38:39,835
And, uh... you are?
1458
01:38:39,918 --> 01:38:43,755
I'm lil Pete. I'm your son!
I love you so much, dad!
1459
01:38:43,839 --> 01:38:45,674
-I have three nipples.
-Yeah, well...
1460
01:38:45,757 --> 01:38:47,676
It's always good to have a spare.
1461
01:38:49,553 --> 01:38:51,972
-Gall dang, you have one, too?
-Yeah.
1462
01:38:52,055 --> 01:38:53,807
Do you like to play with the extra one?
1463
01:38:53,890 --> 01:38:55,351
Oh, you betcha.
1464
01:38:55,434 --> 01:38:58,019
Oh, pa, I have a question for you.
1465
01:38:58,103 --> 01:38:59,521
Yeah.
1466
01:38:59,605 --> 01:39:02,524
Where do babies come from?
1467
01:39:02,608 --> 01:39:06,237
Well, son, the mom just poops 'em out.
1468
01:39:06,320 --> 01:39:09,781
I knewed it!
I knewed it, dad!
1469
01:39:11,283 --> 01:39:13,577
Well, look at this handsome devil.
1470
01:39:13,660 --> 01:39:16,121
Sir, I'm Danny.
1471
01:39:16,204 --> 01:39:18,249
It's awful nice to finally meet ya.
1472
01:39:18,332 --> 01:39:20,876
Could you help me with a problem?
1473
01:39:20,959 --> 01:39:22,919
I did a real stupid thing
1474
01:39:23,003 --> 01:39:27,591
that inadvertently led to the death
of a United States president,
1475
01:39:27,674 --> 01:39:31,720
and I'm feeling pretty lousy about it.
1476
01:39:33,389 --> 01:39:35,724
Well, son...
1477
01:39:35,807 --> 01:39:37,268
Look in my eyes.
1478
01:39:39,561 --> 01:39:41,438
Shit happens.
1479
01:39:42,731 --> 01:39:44,483
Yeah.
1480
01:39:44,566 --> 01:39:46,818
Yeah, right.
1481
01:39:46,902 --> 01:39:49,195
Thanks. Thank you, sir.
1482
01:39:49,280 --> 01:39:50,656
You're welcome.
1483
01:39:50,739 --> 01:39:53,867
So, where to now, huh?
1484
01:39:53,950 --> 01:39:57,496
Well, sir, smoking fox and me
are getting married in a few days,
1485
01:39:57,579 --> 01:40:00,832
and screaming eagle's
walking her down the aisle,
1486
01:40:00,916 --> 01:40:04,085
and I was hoping...
1487
01:40:04,169 --> 01:40:06,547
You could be there, next to me.
1488
01:40:06,630 --> 01:40:09,341
Oh, you mean your best man?
1489
01:40:09,425 --> 01:40:10,842
Yes, sir.
1490
01:40:10,926 --> 01:40:12,719
Oh, Tommy...
1491
01:40:12,803 --> 01:40:15,431
You know, that's...
That's quite an honor.
1492
01:40:15,514 --> 01:40:18,058
-It would be my honor, sir.
-Yeah. Well, uh...
1493
01:40:21,227 --> 01:40:24,230
But unfortunately, I...
1494
01:40:24,315 --> 01:40:27,693
I got some business up north
that I gotta attend to.
1495
01:40:27,776 --> 01:40:30,821
I gotta collect some gambling debts and...
1496
01:40:30,904 --> 01:40:34,616
You know,
just to pay the doctors and such.
1497
01:40:34,700 --> 01:40:38,161
Say, dad. You don't ever gotta worry
about money ever again.
1498
01:40:38,244 --> 01:40:40,956
We had to conjure up 50 grand twice!
1499
01:40:41,039 --> 01:40:42,999
So we ended up with 100!
1500
01:40:44,125 --> 01:40:45,336
- A hundred?
- Yes, sir.
1501
01:40:45,419 --> 01:40:47,629
There's another 50 grand?
1502
01:40:47,713 --> 01:40:49,465
Yes, sir.
1503
01:40:49,548 --> 01:40:52,384
Right here,
in the burro's saddlebag.
1504
01:40:52,926 --> 01:40:57,598
So that business can wait up north,
can't it... best man?
1505
01:40:58,640 --> 01:41:03,479
Well, now that you mention it,
maybe I should change my plans.
1506
01:41:03,562 --> 01:41:06,231
- Bueno. Bueno.
- Yeah.
1507
01:41:11,820 --> 01:41:13,905
Hey! What are they doing back?
1508
01:41:20,078 --> 01:41:21,580
What is this?
1509
01:41:22,498 --> 01:41:25,250
I guess it's time you kids
1510
01:41:25,333 --> 01:41:29,963
learned the truth
about your dear old dad, huh?
1511
01:41:30,046 --> 01:41:33,509
I'm just too famous.
1512
01:41:33,592 --> 01:41:36,720
I can't walk into any town
west of the rockies
1513
01:41:36,803 --> 01:41:39,556
without someone calling the law.
1514
01:41:39,640 --> 01:41:44,019
So, I came up with a way
we could make 50 grand
1515
01:41:44,102 --> 01:41:46,187
without lifting a finger.
1516
01:41:46,271 --> 01:41:50,150
And you rascals brought us double!
1517
01:41:50,233 --> 01:41:52,569
Are these my kids or what?
1518
01:41:53,862 --> 01:41:55,113
Son of a bitch!
1519
01:41:56,490 --> 01:41:59,075
If our two gangs joined forces,
1520
01:41:59,159 --> 01:42:03,079
there's not a lawman in the west
that would stand up against us.
1521
01:42:03,163 --> 01:42:05,916
What makes you think we'd turn
to a life of crime?
1522
01:42:05,999 --> 01:42:07,918
'Cause it's in your blood.
1523
01:42:08,001 --> 01:42:09,961
Answer me something.
1524
01:42:10,045 --> 01:42:15,592
Were you ever great at anything
in your life besides stealing?
1525
01:42:17,428 --> 01:42:18,970
No. No.
1526
01:42:19,054 --> 01:42:22,891
You apples didn't fall far from this tree.
1527
01:42:22,974 --> 01:42:25,310
Don't deny who you are.
1528
01:42:25,393 --> 01:42:28,063
If you knew who we really were,
1529
01:42:28,146 --> 01:42:30,774
you'd be very scared right now.
1530
01:42:33,359 --> 01:42:35,987
Don't overplay your hand, son.
1531
01:42:37,573 --> 01:42:39,825
I'm still holding an Ace.
1532
01:42:49,209 --> 01:42:51,377
I found her. I--
1533
01:42:51,462 --> 01:42:52,921
I told you I'd find her.
1534
01:42:57,217 --> 01:43:01,722
This little beauty stumbled into our camp
a few days ago.
1535
01:43:04,390 --> 01:43:06,893
She actually tried to rescue me.
1536
01:43:06,977 --> 01:43:11,857
I'm guessing this means you don't want
me to be your best man no more, huh?
1537
01:43:14,776 --> 01:43:17,821
Well, I'm gonna make this
real simple for you.
1538
01:43:19,114 --> 01:43:25,286
Hand over the other 50 grand...
In that stupid ass' saddlebag,
1539
01:43:25,370 --> 01:43:30,709
or I put a bullet
in her pretty apache head.
1540
01:43:33,629 --> 01:43:34,880
That ain't gonna happen.
1541
01:43:35,589 --> 01:43:36,923
Oh, it ain't?
1542
01:43:37,007 --> 01:43:38,299
No, sir.
1543
01:43:39,259 --> 01:43:40,511
Why's that?
1544
01:43:40,594 --> 01:43:43,471
Mmm... kind of a secret.
1545
01:43:43,555 --> 01:43:47,643
Well, you can tell your old man,
can't ya?
1546
01:43:50,604 --> 01:43:52,564
You know that bag...
1547
01:43:52,648 --> 01:43:55,066
-Your boy's holding?
-Uh-huh.
1548
01:43:55,734 --> 01:43:57,528
It was meant for Cicero.
1549
01:43:57,611 --> 01:44:00,614
So there's something special in there.
1550
01:44:00,697 --> 01:44:03,158
-Plan b.
-Plan b?
1551
01:44:03,241 --> 01:44:04,409
Plan b.
1552
01:44:04,492 --> 01:44:06,244
Give me that bag.
1553
01:44:14,002 --> 01:44:15,503
Oh, shit!
1554
01:44:30,226 --> 01:44:31,227
Where is she?
1555
01:44:42,155 --> 01:44:44,157
Smoking fox.
1556
01:44:55,794 --> 01:44:57,545
Nighty-night, son.
1557
01:45:05,470 --> 01:45:08,765
Danny, are you all right?
1558
01:45:10,558 --> 01:45:13,478
You done good, Daniel.
You saved me.
1559
01:45:15,230 --> 01:45:17,649
It's my duty, Mr. president.
1560
01:45:21,319 --> 01:45:22,779
Mrs. Lincoln.
1561
01:45:24,239 --> 01:45:26,407
Come on! Come on!
Come here.
1562
01:45:31,412 --> 01:45:32,455
Get in.
1563
01:45:53,601 --> 01:45:54,728
I got one!
1564
01:45:54,811 --> 01:45:56,396
Clem, you almost shot me!
1565
01:45:56,479 --> 01:45:57,939
Come on,
get the horses!
1566
01:45:58,023 --> 01:46:00,817
My ass! My ass!
1567
01:46:03,945 --> 01:46:05,446
Hey!
1568
01:46:05,530 --> 01:46:08,992
Is this here still valid,
or is it too burnt up?
1569
01:46:09,075 --> 01:46:10,618
Let me take a look here.
1570
01:46:10,702 --> 01:46:12,788
Uh, that looks good to me.
I mean, this looks good.
1571
01:46:12,871 --> 01:46:13,872
What in the hell?
1572
01:46:13,955 --> 01:46:16,416
You didn't scoop yours out,
did you?
1573
01:46:19,627 --> 01:46:20,921
What was the question again?
1574
01:46:21,004 --> 01:46:23,006
What?
1575
01:46:23,089 --> 01:46:25,133
Did any of you really do it?
1576
01:46:30,263 --> 01:46:32,724
Well, then whose eyes are in that jar?
1577
01:46:32,808 --> 01:46:34,017
Uh...
1578
01:46:34,100 --> 01:46:37,520
Well, babyface found some rocks,
and, uh, painted them.
1579
01:46:37,603 --> 01:46:39,397
Surprise?
1580
01:46:53,036 --> 01:46:56,331
Hey, tom,
you wanna play a game
1581
01:46:56,414 --> 01:47:00,919
to make up for all the father-son time
we missed?
1582
01:47:01,002 --> 01:47:02,587
Peek-a-boo.
1583
01:47:09,385 --> 01:47:11,221
Hey, come over here!
1584
01:47:11,304 --> 01:47:13,098
No, come over there!
1585
01:47:18,895 --> 01:47:21,606
You could have had everything, son.
1586
01:47:21,689 --> 01:47:24,359
But you had to do the right thing.
1587
01:47:27,195 --> 01:47:31,199
Let me leave you
with a bit of fatherly advice.
1588
01:47:32,492 --> 01:47:37,705
Never bring a knife to a gunfight.
1589
01:47:37,789 --> 01:47:40,792
One day,
there will be too many, my love.
1590
01:47:40,876 --> 01:47:42,085
But not today.
1591
01:47:57,142 --> 01:47:59,770
That was some mystical shit.
1592
01:48:05,150 --> 01:48:06,651
Tommy.
1593
01:48:06,734 --> 01:48:10,113
You knew Cicero killed my mother.
1594
01:48:10,196 --> 01:48:12,032
No!
1595
01:48:12,115 --> 01:48:13,449
No, I didn't know that.
1596
01:48:13,533 --> 01:48:15,160
No more lies!
1597
01:48:15,994 --> 01:48:18,371
Yeah, I knew. I knew.
1598
01:48:18,454 --> 01:48:20,373
Your mother insisted on telling.
1599
01:48:20,456 --> 01:48:23,877
She was going to rat the whole gang out,
and I tried to convince her--
1600
01:48:25,503 --> 01:48:28,756
Tommy, look, I'm your father,
for god's sake.
1601
01:48:28,840 --> 01:48:30,967
You don't kill your father, Tommy.
1602
01:48:37,140 --> 01:48:39,976
His name is white knife.
1603
01:48:46,441 --> 01:48:48,484
I ain't gonna kill you.
1604
01:48:50,695 --> 01:48:54,449
'Cause my true father taught me otherwise.
1605
01:49:07,963 --> 01:49:10,006
You can't leave me like this!
1606
01:49:12,843 --> 01:49:13,969
Tommy!
1607
01:49:15,720 --> 01:49:17,763
You can't leave me here alone!
1608
01:49:51,172 --> 01:49:55,176
Dear mama, so much has changed
since my last letter.
1609
01:49:55,260 --> 01:49:57,178
I scarcely know where to begin.
1610
01:49:57,262 --> 01:50:02,475
First off, it turns out our daddy
is a bad, bad man,
1611
01:50:02,558 --> 01:50:04,769
and he got thrown in jail.
1612
01:50:09,232 --> 01:50:14,195
But it's okay, 'cause screaming eagle,
the Indian chief who raised Tommy,
1613
01:50:14,279 --> 01:50:16,614
said he'd be all our dads, too.
1614
01:50:24,580 --> 01:50:27,292
I really like it here in this village.
1615
01:50:27,375 --> 01:50:30,962
Our new brothers and sisters
love to have fun
1616
01:50:31,046 --> 01:50:34,257
and have been so nice to all of us.
1617
01:50:34,340 --> 01:50:37,427
These white guys cannot dance.
1618
01:50:38,594 --> 01:50:40,596
Danny don't drink
whiskey no more.
1619
01:50:40,680 --> 01:50:42,182
- No.
- Yee-haw!
1620
01:50:42,933 --> 01:50:46,561
And Ramon and herm
are trying to learn Indian ways.
1621
01:51:00,908 --> 01:51:03,453
Oh, and big news...
1622
01:51:03,536 --> 01:51:05,705
I finally have a girlfriend,
1623
01:51:05,788 --> 01:51:09,000
and she's much prettier
than a canty-loupe.
1624
01:51:09,084 --> 01:51:11,627
Come on, you two!
You're missing all the fun.
1625
01:51:11,711 --> 01:51:15,840
Anyways, mama, thanks for raising me.
1626
01:51:15,923 --> 01:51:19,177
Your loving son, lil Pete,
1627
01:51:19,260 --> 01:51:23,306
proud member of the ridiculous 6.
1628
01:58:47,833 --> 01:58:48,834
Before you go...
1629
01:58:48,918 --> 01:58:51,962
Two, four, six, eight.
1630
01:58:52,046 --> 01:58:54,256
Who do we appreciate?
1631
01:58:54,339 --> 01:58:57,092
The stockburns! The stockburns!
1632
01:58:57,176 --> 01:58:59,762
Yeah! The stockburns!