2
00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:37,080
Come inside, take off your coat.
3
00:00:37,169 --> 00:00:38,307
I'll make you feel at home.
4
00:00:40,439 --> 00:00:41,975
Now let's pour a glass of wine
5
00:00:42,074 --> 00:00:44,384
'Cause now we're all alone.
6
00:00:49,815 --> 00:00:51,658
Oh. My God!
7
00:00:56,488 --> 00:00:59,594
Girl you make me feel real good.
8
00:00:59,691 --> 00:01:01,136
That's right.
9
00:01:02,494 --> 00:01:03,495
What's up?
10
00:01:03,595 --> 00:01:05,438
Oh, my God.
11
00:01:05,531 --> 00:01:07,875
My mom was so right.
12
00:01:07,966 --> 00:01:10,173
Nice guys really do
eat the best pussy.
13
00:01:10,269 --> 00:01:12,579
I'm not really sure how to
interpret that. Thank you?
14
00:01:12,671 --> 00:01:13,809
Oh, my God.
15
00:01:13,906 --> 00:01:15,852
How are you so good at that?
16
00:01:15,941 --> 00:01:17,511
I'll let you in on
a trade secret.
17
00:01:17,609 --> 00:01:20,385
I actually write a short story
with my tongue every time I do it.
18
00:01:20,512 --> 00:01:22,492
It follows this young kid
19
00:01:22,581 --> 00:01:26,256
who finds this alien in the woods with
all these Reese's Pieces and stuff.
20
00:01:26,385 --> 00:01:28,422
And he learns that aliens
are just no different.
21
00:01:28,554 --> 00:01:29,658
You just can connect
with anyone.
22
00:01:29,755 --> 00:01:33,897
It's kind of like E.T., only
with a lot more going down on chicks.
23
00:01:34,026 --> 00:01:36,199
- Cool beans.
- Yeah, cool beans.
24
00:01:36,295 --> 00:01:39,276
- Definitely. Cool little frozen beans.
- Yeah.
25
00:01:39,398 --> 00:01:41,105
All right, so...
26
00:01:41,233 --> 00:01:43,179
- Thank you for coming.
- Thank you.
27
00:01:43,268 --> 00:01:44,941
Yeah, we should...
28
00:01:45,070 --> 00:01:47,050
- We should probably...
- Yeah, you should probably go.
29
00:01:47,139 --> 00:01:48,482
Switch places.
30
00:01:48,574 --> 00:01:49,951
What's that?
31
00:01:51,577 --> 00:01:53,147
- I figured...
- Don't you have to go?
32
00:01:53,245 --> 00:01:58,285
No, no, I just figured because
I made "mouth love" to you
33
00:01:58,383 --> 00:02:02,695
that maybe you could return the favor.
34
00:02:03,088 --> 00:02:06,001
- What?
- Maybe toss a BJ my way.
35
00:02:06,091 --> 00:02:07,798
If you have time.
36
00:02:07,926 --> 00:02:10,634
My stomach is
super-iffy right now.
37
00:02:10,762 --> 00:02:14,300
I think I got food poisoning.
38
00:02:14,399 --> 00:02:15,878
Baby.
39
00:02:16,468 --> 00:02:20,644
So I'm just in no condition
to blow you right now, Noah.
40
00:02:20,739 --> 00:02:22,616
- No, yeah, that's cool.
- Okay.
41
00:02:22,741 --> 00:02:25,551
Sorry. Next time, sweetie.
42
00:02:26,512 --> 00:02:28,185
Are you sure you don't
want to come over tonight?
43
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,260
There's this thing called
a geomagnetic storm.
44
00:02:30,349 --> 00:02:33,421
It's really cool and
rare, actually.
45
00:02:33,519 --> 00:02:37,092
It's like an astronomical explosion in
the sky of all these beautiful colors.
46
00:02:39,124 --> 00:02:42,970
Kind of like Mother Nature's fireworks.
It happens, like, almost never.
47
00:02:43,095 --> 00:02:44,768
Like I said, I'm just
not feeling good.
48
00:02:44,863 --> 00:02:47,070
But thank you so much
for going down on me.
49
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:51,512
Oh, yeah. You're really good
at getting going down on,
50
00:02:51,603 --> 00:02:53,412
getting downed on,
51
00:02:53,505 --> 00:02:56,349
- so you should be proud of that as well.
- Okay, cool. You da man!
52
00:02:56,475 --> 00:02:57,783
You da man.
53
00:02:57,876 --> 00:03:00,288
Peace. You're the best, sweetie.
54
00:03:00,379 --> 00:03:02,450
Don't stop believing in
yourself, okay, Maris?
55
00:03:04,716 --> 00:03:07,856
Uncle Ricky, could you
read us a bedtime story?
56
00:03:07,953 --> 00:03:09,796
Please, please?
57
00:03:11,890 --> 00:03:14,131
Here we go.
58
00:03:14,226 --> 00:03:16,297
Once upon a time, not long ago.
59
00:03:16,395 --> 00:03:18,841
Where people wore pajamas
and lived life slow.
60
00:03:18,931 --> 00:03:21,104
Where la ws were stern
and justice stood.
61
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,373
And people were behavin'
like they ought to good.
62
00:03:23,468 --> 00:03:25,573
There lived a little
boy who was misled.
63
00:03:25,671 --> 00:03:28,049
By another little boy and
this is what he said.
64
00:03:28,140 --> 00:03:30,416
Me and you Tike We're
gonna make some cash.
65
00:03:30,509 --> 00:03:32,853
Robbin' old folks and
makin' the dash.
66
00:03:32,945 --> 00:03:35,118
They did the job, money
came with ease.
67
00:03:35,214 --> 00:03:37,251
But one couldn't stop It's
like he bade disease.
68
00:03:37,349 --> 00:03:39,795
He robbed another and another
anda sister anda brother.
69
00:03:39,885 --> 00:03:42,161
Tried to rob a man who was
a D.T. undercover.
70
00:03:42,254 --> 00:03:44,393
The cap grabbed his arm He
started actin' erratic.
71
00:03:44,489 --> 00:03:46,799
He said, "Keep still bay,
no need for static".
72
00:03:46,925 --> 00:03:49,098
Punched him in his belly
and gave him a slap.
73
00:03:49,194 --> 00:03:51,470
But little did he know The
little boy was strapped.
74
00:03:51,563 --> 00:03:54,043
The kid pulled outta gun He
said, "Why'd you hit me? ".
75
00:03:54,132 --> 00:03:56,169
The barrel was set straight
for the cop's kidney.
76
00:03:56,268 --> 00:03:58,612
Han up the stairs up
to the tap floor.
77
00:03:58,704 --> 00:04:00,809
Opened up a door, there
guess who he saw.
78
00:04:00,939 --> 00:04:03,010
Dave, the dope fiend
shaatin' dope.
79
00:04:03,108 --> 00:04:05,349
Who don't know the meaning
of water nor soap?
80
00:04:05,444 --> 00:04:07,754
He said, "I need bullets,
hurry up, run ".
81
00:04:07,846 --> 00:04:10,122
The dope fiend rolled back
a spankin' shot gun.
82
00:04:10,215 --> 00:04:12,559
This ain't funny, so
don't ya dare laugh.
83
00:04:12,651 --> 00:04:14,892
Just another case about
the wrong pa ti?
84
00:04:14,987 --> 00:04:17,627
Straight and narrow or
your soul gets cast.
85
00:04:18,156 --> 00:04:19,396
Good night.
86
00:04:25,197 --> 00:04:27,438
- Yo, Mom, what's up?
- Noah!
87
00:04:27,532 --> 00:04:30,103
Where were you?
Were you out with that girl again?
88
00:04:30,202 --> 00:04:31,772
Yeah, but she's not
"that girl," okay?
89
00:04:31,870 --> 00:04:34,111
We're in a relationship.
It's legit.
90
00:04:34,206 --> 00:04:36,277
So have you started
looking for a job yet?
91
00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:38,946
I can't afford to have you
sitting around all day.
92
00:04:39,044 --> 00:04:43,891
You're in a period of stasis.
Just a stage of stasis.
93
00:04:43,982 --> 00:04:47,725
Sorry. - You sure you
don't want that beer now?
94
00:04:47,853 --> 00:04:49,855
Or maybe something stronger?
I have absinthe.
95
00:04:49,988 --> 00:04:52,525
Why can't we hit up Dad?
He owes us 10 years of alimony.
96
00:04:52,658 --> 00:04:53,898
Oh, look, kiddo.
97
00:04:54,026 --> 00:04:57,166
If you're looking for a handout,
think again times 10.
98
00:04:57,262 --> 00:04:59,674
That guy's a diamond dealer.
He has crazy cash.
99
00:04:59,765 --> 00:05:01,335
Why'd you marry such an A-hole?
100
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,412
That A-hole gave me the
greatest gift in the world.
101
00:05:04,536 --> 00:05:05,674
Crabs?
102
00:05:06,371 --> 00:05:07,816
He gave me you.
103
00:05:07,906 --> 00:05:09,908
Okay.
104
00:05:10,008 --> 00:05:11,146
So, tell me, what do you think?
105
00:05:11,243 --> 00:05:12,688
- Do I look okay?
- You look amazing.
106
00:05:12,778 --> 00:05:14,655
Why are you so concerned
with your outfit?
107
00:05:14,746 --> 00:05:16,555
Mrs. Pedulla is introducing
me to a surgeon
108
00:05:16,682 --> 00:05:19,595
- at the fundraiser at the Historical Society.
- Okay.
109
00:05:19,718 --> 00:05:21,197
- She thinks we're going to hit it off.
- Nice.
110
00:05:21,286 --> 00:05:23,163
Well, don't give
it up too easily.
111
00:05:23,255 --> 00:05:24,598
- Give what up?
- What?
112
00:05:24,723 --> 00:05:26,566
- Give what up?
- What did...
113
00:05:26,692 --> 00:05:29,172
- What the hell are you talking about?
- I don't know.
114
00:05:29,261 --> 00:05:30,763
- Have fun. I love you. Okay?
- I love you.
115
00:05:33,632 --> 00:05:34,940
- Hey, Mom.
- Yeah.
116
00:05:35,067 --> 00:05:36,876
I think you're going to
have a really great night,
117
00:05:36,968 --> 00:05:38,948
and you look beautiful.
118
00:05:39,071 --> 00:05:41,051
Oh.
From your lips to God's ears.
119
00:05:41,139 --> 00:05:44,518
Scientists are predicting a giant
storm over the city tonight.
120
00:05:44,609 --> 00:05:46,782
A geomagnetic storm, that is.
121
00:05:46,912 --> 00:05:48,858
Caused by flare-ups an the sun,
122
00:05:48,947 --> 00:05:50,620
this rare storm affects the
Earth's magnetic field...
123
00:05:50,749 --> 00:05:52,956
Noah, can you get the phone?
124
00:05:53,085 --> 00:05:55,122
Mom, the phone's ringing!
125
00:05:55,253 --> 00:05:57,597
Noah, please get the phone!
126
00:05:57,723 --> 00:05:59,930
Mom, the phone's ringing!
Do you hear it?
127
00:06:00,058 --> 00:06:03,232
Noah, can't you think about somebody
else besides yourself for once?
128
00:06:03,395 --> 00:06:05,306
No, I totally was.
That's why I said the phone was ringing.
129
00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:06,636
I was letting you know
that it was ringing.
130
00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:08,837
Yeah.
I'm thrilled about tonight.
131
00:06:09,167 --> 00:06:12,876
You flip, but they flap.
You flip, but they flop!
132
00:06:12,971 --> 00:06:14,973
What? Oh, is that right?
133
00:06:15,107 --> 00:06:16,882
They perfected the pancake?
134
00:06:16,975 --> 00:06:19,387
- A rain check?
- It's a perfect pancake!
135
00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:21,116
- No, that's fine.
- It's perfect.
136
00:06:21,246 --> 00:06:24,591
Mom, tell whoever's on the phone
that there's a perfect pancake.
137
00:06:25,117 --> 00:06:26,494
Thanks.
138
00:06:27,319 --> 00:06:29,230
I'm not going after all.
139
00:06:29,321 --> 00:06:30,891
What? Why?
140
00:06:30,989 --> 00:06:34,334
The Pedullas' sitter
canceled at the last minute.
141
00:06:37,262 --> 00:06:38,263
What?
142
00:06:39,598 --> 00:06:40,838
Do I have shit on my face?
143
00:06:40,966 --> 00:06:43,173
Come on. Don't tell me
you can't use the money.
144
00:06:43,301 --> 00:06:45,577
Are you crazy? No.
I'm not Mary Poppins.
145
00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:48,412
I'm not gonna be a babysitter.
I'm an adult man.
146
00:06:48,507 --> 00:06:51,181
Okay? Babysitting sucks.
Adult men don't babysit things.
147
00:06:51,309 --> 00:06:53,846
Oh, Noah, you're
wonderful with children!
148
00:06:55,614 --> 00:06:57,355
You know, never mind.
149
00:06:57,482 --> 00:07:01,123
Who am I kidding?
Finding a guy at my age is ridiculous.
150
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:05,190
I'm going to change my dress.
151
00:07:05,891 --> 00:07:07,837
What are you in the mood for?
Chinese?
152
00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:09,734
Oh, come on.
153
00:07:12,164 --> 00:07:14,007
Ding-dong!
154
00:07:17,335 --> 00:07:19,645
- Noah!
- Mrs. Pedulla.
155
00:07:19,738 --> 00:07:21,479
It's so good to see you!
156
00:07:21,573 --> 00:07:23,484
Oh, my gosh.
157
00:07:23,575 --> 00:07:26,613
Get over... Bring it in for a hug, babe.
What are we doing?
158
00:07:26,711 --> 00:07:30,420
God, I haven't see you
since you were, like, 15.
159
00:07:30,515 --> 00:07:33,496
Yeah. So Dr. Pedulla, he's still alive?
You two are still together?
160
00:07:39,157 --> 00:07:40,830
Oh! That's my kind
of TV, right there.
161
00:07:40,926 --> 00:07:43,236
Yeah, well, feel free to
watch anything you want.
162
00:07:43,361 --> 00:07:44,533
- Cool.
- Yeah.
163
00:07:44,663 --> 00:07:46,040
Hey, Slater?
164
00:07:46,932 --> 00:07:50,573
Anyway, honey, this is Noah.
He's going to be babysitting tonight.
165
00:07:51,269 --> 00:07:53,579
- What happened to Nancy?
- Honey, we talked about this.
166
00:07:53,705 --> 00:07:55,810
Nancy has a urinary
tract infection, okay?
167
00:07:55,907 --> 00:07:57,682
Is Clayton coming over tonight?
168
00:07:57,776 --> 00:08:00,347
No, Mom.
His tarantula died from parasites,
169
00:08:00,445 --> 00:08:01,753
And now he's in mourning.
170
00:08:01,847 --> 00:08:02,985
Well, you're in luck, Noah.
171
00:08:03,081 --> 00:08:05,254
The two of them together
are just trouble.
172
00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:07,023
Hey. That's not true.
173
00:08:07,118 --> 00:08:09,997
Why do you say that?
You're always attacking us!
174
00:08:10,088 --> 00:08:12,864
Honey, I am not attacking you.
175
00:08:12,958 --> 00:08:14,562
Okay? Calm down.
176
00:08:16,595 --> 00:08:18,575
- You know what? I'll be right back.
- Yeah.
177
00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:20,699
Okay? Excuse me just one second.
178
00:08:20,799 --> 00:08:22,039
Hello?
179
00:08:23,068 --> 00:08:25,207
Hey, what are you watching?
180
00:08:25,303 --> 00:08:27,510
- Just watching some gymnastics.
- Cool.
181
00:08:27,606 --> 00:08:29,586
Hey, how old are you, man?
182
00:08:29,708 --> 00:08:31,881
- Thirteen.
- Thirteen?
183
00:08:31,977 --> 00:08:34,890
What am I doing here?
Why aren't you babysitting yourself?
184
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:37,426
- I'm not a babysitter, okay?
- Yeah, neither am I.
185
00:08:37,549 --> 00:08:38,857
If you would just
man up and babysit,
186
00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:41,123
I wouldn't have to be here tonight.
I could be out having fun.
187
00:08:41,219 --> 00:08:43,392
I have severe anxiety issues.
188
00:08:44,589 --> 00:08:48,560
And my doctor, he says that I can't
handle any kind of responsibility,
189
00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:51,573
or else I could just snap...
190
00:08:51,663 --> 00:08:53,006
at any moment.
191
00:08:53,865 --> 00:08:56,209
Jesus Christ, man. Relax.
192
00:08:56,301 --> 00:08:58,144
Okay. Sorry.
193
00:08:58,270 --> 00:09:00,216
Slater, nice to meet you.
194
00:09:00,305 --> 00:09:02,911
All right, should we go upstairs?
Bye, honey.
195
00:09:03,008 --> 00:09:04,009
We're gonna have
some fun tonight, pal.
196
00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:07,385
Hall back nice and easy.
197
00:09:07,478 --> 00:09:10,049
Keep your breath inside
so you don't get wheezy.
198
00:09:10,148 --> 00:09:12,560
Honey! What did Mommy tell you
about the mascara? Put it down.
199
00:09:12,650 --> 00:09:14,994
- You said I could play dress-up.
- Yeah, I said you could play dress-up,
200
00:09:15,086 --> 00:09:16,156
not make yourself
look like a hooker.
201
00:09:16,254 --> 00:09:17,289
Look at you!
202
00:09:18,222 --> 00:09:22,932
My daughter Blithe is going
through this whole "celebutante" phase.
203
00:09:23,027 --> 00:09:24,836
It's kind of unfortunate,
but it's a fad.
204
00:09:24,929 --> 00:09:26,033
That's what they
do in the schools.
205
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,939
It'll pass.
I don't know where they come from.
206
00:09:28,032 --> 00:09:30,069
- Kids, right?
- Yeah, kids.
207
00:09:30,168 --> 00:09:31,806
Are you the babysitter?
208
00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:33,905
Why, in fact, I am. I'm Noah.
209
00:09:34,005 --> 00:09:36,485
- Noah. That's your name?
- Yeah.
210
00:09:36,574 --> 00:09:37,985
That's a super-hot name.
211
00:09:38,075 --> 00:09:39,053
What?
212
00:09:39,177 --> 00:09:42,056
Honey, it's not hot.
It's just his name.
213
00:09:42,180 --> 00:09:44,683
Mom, trust me. It's a hot name.
214
00:09:45,116 --> 00:09:46,561
It's actually biblical.
215
00:09:46,684 --> 00:09:48,220
The Bible's a hot book.
216
00:09:48,886 --> 00:09:52,265
Sometimes I like to get dressed up
and wear my mom's makeup, Noah.
217
00:09:52,356 --> 00:09:53,767
- That's cool.
- I was thinking
218
00:09:53,891 --> 00:09:55,598
we could dress you
up like a princess.
219
00:09:56,527 --> 00:09:58,871
- No, I don't think...
- No, honey,
220
00:09:58,963 --> 00:10:00,533
- maybe not tonight.
- Mom!
221
00:10:00,631 --> 00:10:03,134
- Excuse me just one second.
- Yeah, see you in a sec.
222
00:10:03,234 --> 00:10:05,339
Hey, Noah.
I have a little surprise for you.
223
00:10:05,436 --> 00:10:06,506
Cool. Thanks. What is it?
224
00:10:08,439 --> 00:10:09,782
Do you like to smell pretty?
225
00:10:09,907 --> 00:10:11,511
Do I like to what?
226
00:10:11,609 --> 00:10:14,021
Oh, my God!
You got it right in my mouth!
227
00:10:14,111 --> 00:10:15,715
Why'd you do that?
228
00:10:15,813 --> 00:10:17,292
You just spit on my carpet!
229
00:10:17,415 --> 00:10:18,723
And you just sprayed
perfume in my mouth!
230
00:10:18,816 --> 00:10:19,851
What's your problem?
231
00:10:19,951 --> 00:10:23,558
My real babysitter, Nancy, she
plays with me when she babysits.
232
00:10:23,654 --> 00:10:25,793
She does what I want her
to do, Princess Noah!
233
00:10:25,923 --> 00:10:27,368
You know what?
234
00:10:27,458 --> 00:10:29,301
I'm gonna let
you in on a little secret.
235
00:10:29,427 --> 00:10:32,897
I'm not a real babysitter.
236
00:10:32,997 --> 00:10:33,975
Shocking.
237
00:10:34,065 --> 00:10:36,204
I'm more of a sit-on-the-couch,
eat-a-burrito,
238
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:38,644
do-whatever-I-say-or-I'll-kill-you
type of babysitter.
239
00:10:38,736 --> 00:10:41,216
That's my style, blood.
You understand?
240
00:10:41,305 --> 00:10:44,718
Well, I want to wear sparkly things,
shiny things, and glittery stuff
241
00:10:44,809 --> 00:10:47,449
to my favorite hot
nightclub, okay?
242
00:10:51,082 --> 00:10:53,562
- Mother fuck!
- You guys okay in here?
243
00:10:53,651 --> 00:10:55,028
What's up? Yeah, no, yeah,
244
00:10:55,119 --> 00:10:57,656
I'm just hanging with this
little angel right here.
245
00:10:57,755 --> 00:10:58,927
Yeah, we're just chillin'.
246
00:10:59,323 --> 00:11:00,996
- That's funny.
- Your breath is really flowery.
247
00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:03,935
- Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.
- Yeah.
248
00:11:04,028 --> 00:11:06,508
- Okay, should we go downstairs?
- Yeah, cool.
249
00:11:10,035 --> 00:11:10,775
Tonight's main event
features crowd favorite.
250
00:11:10,869 --> 00:11:13,873
Ricky Fontaine versus
Dustin MacMillan.
251
00:11:14,372 --> 00:11:15,783
Rodrigo!
252
00:11:15,874 --> 00:11:19,083
What did I tell you about
fireworks in the house?
253
00:11:19,177 --> 00:11:21,589
And can you shut off the
kickboxing for one night, please?
254
00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:24,023
Say hula to Noah.
255
00:11:26,684 --> 00:11:29,824
We just adopted him from
El Salvador last year
256
00:11:29,921 --> 00:11:32,424
and, you know, he's going
through some transitions.
257
00:11:32,524 --> 00:11:34,003
- Okay, cool. MRS.
- Okay, well,
258
00:11:34,092 --> 00:11:35,799
we'll see you later, all right?
259
00:11:36,261 --> 00:11:37,365
Bes as.
260
00:11:37,896 --> 00:11:39,375
- Sweet kid.
- Yeah.
261
00:11:39,497 --> 00:11:40,999
He's a cutie pie.
262
00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:52,021
You kind of have to
watch out for Rodrigo.
263
00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:54,386
He has a habit of running away.
264
00:11:54,512 --> 00:11:55,786
Here, hold on to this.
265
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,986
We sewed a GPS chip into his jacket
so we could keep track of him.
266
00:11:59,084 --> 00:12:01,360
It's kind of like a
LoJack for kids.
267
00:12:01,453 --> 00:12:06,027
Cool. It's just like a little dot
that follows him, like a fugitive.
268
00:12:06,124 --> 00:12:08,229
Hey, honey, we're running late!
Let's go!
269
00:12:08,359 --> 00:12:10,498
- So...
- In a minute.
270
00:12:10,628 --> 00:12:13,404
All of our information is
in here, under the blue tab.
271
00:12:13,531 --> 00:12:15,511
There's some frozen pizzas
and pudding in the fridge,
272
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,546
and we'll be at the Historical
Society if you need us.
273
00:12:17,635 --> 00:12:18,909
Cool.
274
00:12:19,037 --> 00:12:21,017
Someone smells wonderful!
275
00:12:21,106 --> 00:12:23,780
I believe that's Noah's mouth.
You remember Noah.
276
00:12:23,908 --> 00:12:26,855
I understand you were cited recently
for driving under the influence.
277
00:12:26,945 --> 00:12:29,619
Needless to say, our cars
are off-limits to you.
278
00:12:29,714 --> 00:12:32,285
Okay, no cars. Got it.
279
00:12:32,383 --> 00:12:34,363
We'll be back no
later than 1:00.
280
00:12:34,452 --> 00:12:37,023
Earlier's good for me,
too, so hurry home.
281
00:12:37,122 --> 00:12:39,033
- And thank you!
- Thank you, sweetheart.
282
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:42,696
What the fuck am I doing here?
283
00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:45,301
I come in peace.
284
00:12:45,763 --> 00:12:48,607
And you go in pieces, asshole.
285
00:12:54,939 --> 00:12:56,111
What's up, little man?
286
00:12:59,811 --> 00:13:01,222
What'd you do that for?
287
00:13:01,579 --> 00:13:02,649
You clean it.
288
00:13:03,014 --> 00:13:04,015
You clean it.
289
00:13:06,451 --> 00:13:08,226
- Fucking weirdo.
- Hey, Noah!
290
00:13:08,319 --> 00:13:09,957
How's that perfume taste?
291
00:13:11,623 --> 00:13:13,967
Rodrigo, what is your deal?
Stop!
292
00:13:14,092 --> 00:13:16,800
Can we go to a club tonight?
This place is so dead.
293
00:13:16,928 --> 00:13:18,430
No.
294
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:20,669
Don't you just want to
go dancing or something?
295
00:13:23,134 --> 00:13:25,410
Rodrigo, seriously, what
is your deal? Stop!
296
00:13:25,503 --> 00:13:28,643
I'm trying to watch TV with
JonBenet Ramsey over here.
297
00:13:34,546 --> 00:13:37,186
- That's uncomfortable.
- Do you want to hear some gossip?
298
00:13:37,315 --> 00:13:39,921
- I got some hot gossip.
- I'm okay, actually.
299
00:13:40,018 --> 00:13:42,931
I'm trying to watch this, if
you could be quiet.
300
00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:44,364
Give it.
301
00:13:44,455 --> 00:13:48,904
I'm watching this, so can you guys
just be quiet, please? Thank you.
302
00:13:48,993 --> 00:13:50,768
I know a
secret nobody else knows.
303
00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:56,943
- Oh, what's up, twins?
- Ls Slater home?
304
00:13:57,035 --> 00:13:58,776
- Is he here?
- Yeah, oh, my God!
305
00:13:59,404 --> 00:14:00,542
Slater!
306
00:14:00,638 --> 00:14:03,312
You got the two redrum chicks from
The Shining here to see you!
307
00:14:04,509 --> 00:14:07,490
- Slater's a cool guy.
- We go to school together.
308
00:14:07,579 --> 00:14:10,116
- Oh, my God!
- Take care.
309
00:14:10,215 --> 00:14:11,819
Hi, Slater!
310
00:14:11,916 --> 00:14:13,827
Wendy Sapperstein is having
her Bat Mitzvah tonight,
311
00:14:13,918 --> 00:14:16,023
and she said it was okay if
some boys wanted to crash it.
312
00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:19,533
- But we only want the super-cute boys.
- I don't know if I could make it tonight.
313
00:14:19,624 --> 00:14:23,697
My parents aren't home, and I'm not
really supposed to go anywhere.
314
00:14:23,795 --> 00:14:25,468
Well, if you want to
come, you can text us.
315
00:14:25,563 --> 00:14:27,668
- Yeah, text us, definitely.
- Okay.
316
00:14:27,765 --> 00:14:30,837
- I'll see you later, guys.
- Okay, cool!
317
00:14:32,070 --> 00:14:33,048
What's cooking, good-looking?
318
00:14:33,137 --> 00:14:35,811
You know what? I'm at a party.
319
00:14:35,907 --> 00:14:37,682
Party? I thought you
had food poisoning.
320
00:14:37,775 --> 00:14:40,255
I did, and then Steph called me,
and she invited me to this party.
321
00:14:40,378 --> 00:14:41,584
- Do you want to came?
- Damn!
322
00:14:41,713 --> 00:14:43,056
I'm doing something
for my mom right now.
323
00:14:43,915 --> 00:14:46,589
I really, really
want to see you.
324
00:14:46,718 --> 00:14:50,188
I'm actually, like,
super-horn y for you,
325
00:14:50,288 --> 00:14:52,825
and I was thinking
we could have sex.
326
00:14:52,924 --> 00:14:55,234
Like intercourse sex?
327
00:14:55,360 --> 00:15:00,366
Yeah, like full-on vaginal sex.
328
00:15:02,033 --> 00:15:04,707
Yeah, I think I can work something out.
Yeah. For sure.
329
00:15:04,802 --> 00:15:05,803
A Wes om e.
330
00:15:05,903 --> 00:15:09,214
Listen, will you do me a favor and
pick up some coke on your way?
331
00:15:09,307 --> 00:15:12,914
Yeah, sure. Do you want anything
else, like beer, mixers?
332
00:15:13,044 --> 00:15:14,352
No, I mean, like,
333
00:15:14,445 --> 00:15:15,890
coke!
334
00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:17,186
You mean blow?
335
00:15:17,282 --> 00:15:20,229
I thought you were done with that stuff.
That stuff's bad news.
336
00:15:20,318 --> 00:15:22,628
I am done with it.
It's not for me. It's for Steph,
337
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,722
and it's her birthday.
She asked me for it.
338
00:15:24,822 --> 00:15:26,358
I'm just trying to be a
really good friend about it.
339
00:15:26,457 --> 00:15:28,300
I don't even know where I'd
get something like that.
340
00:15:28,426 --> 00:15:29,598
Just call Karl.
341
00:15:29,727 --> 00:15:30,762
Who's Karl?
342
00:15:30,895 --> 00:15:32,772
He's just a super-awesome
guy who sells me drugs.
343
00:15:32,897 --> 00:15:35,776
Used to sell me drugs.
344
00:15:36,034 --> 00:15:38,071
Noah...
345
00:15:39,671 --> 00:15:41,241
I only have 150 bucks.
346
00:15:41,339 --> 00:15:42,750
That's more than enough.
347
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,649
Just ask for one ticket,
and he hook it up.
348
00:15:45,643 --> 00:15:48,317
Leave me alone, asshole!
I'm on the phone with my boyfriend.
349
00:15:49,813 --> 00:15:51,451
Did you just call
me your boyfriend?
350
00:15:51,581 --> 00:15:54,755
Yeah, I guess I did.
So are you coming or not?
351
00:15:56,519 --> 00:15:59,500
Hello? Are you there?
352
00:15:59,623 --> 00:16:02,797
Yeah. Fuck it. I'm in.
353
00:16:08,465 --> 00:16:09,910
Holy shit balls.
354
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,411
A minivan.
355
00:16:11,501 --> 00:16:13,447
That car's not hot at all.
356
00:16:13,536 --> 00:16:16,312
As much as I hate to do this,
we're going on a little field trip.
357
00:16:27,817 --> 00:16:30,093
What is your deal?
Why are you wearing so much makeup?
358
00:16:30,186 --> 00:16:32,757
Looking real fly
on my way to the club.
359
00:16:32,856 --> 00:16:35,496
Gonna dance all night
and get fucked up.
360
00:16:35,625 --> 00:16:38,333
Say whatever you want.
I know I look good.
361
00:16:38,428 --> 00:16:40,635
All right, one of you guys
has to hop up here with me.
362
00:16:40,730 --> 00:16:41,765
I'm not your chauffeur.
363
00:16:41,865 --> 00:16:43,572
What if you hit
somebody or something?
364
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:45,680
I mean, it's safer for children
to be in the back seat.
365
00:16:45,769 --> 00:16:47,874
You are such a bitch.
Grow a set of nuts.
366
00:16:47,971 --> 00:16:49,746
I beat him for you.
367
00:16:50,473 --> 00:16:51,474
- Get his ass.
- Guys.
368
00:16:51,574 --> 00:16:53,918
Not again.
Stop being such children.
369
00:16:54,010 --> 00:16:55,614
- Hit him in the face, dawg!
- Go away.
370
00:16:55,712 --> 00:16:57,419
- Stop it.
- One thing about Rodrigo.
371
00:16:57,514 --> 00:16:59,551
He's not a bitch, I'll
tell you that much.
372
00:17:21,304 --> 00:17:24,012
Slater, seriously, tell
me you are not wearing a fanny pack.
373
00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:26,814
Tell me I'm imagining that and
that's not what I'm actually seeing.
374
00:17:27,410 --> 00:17:29,253
I need it to carry my pills.
375
00:17:29,345 --> 00:17:30,915
Why do you take
those pills anyway?
376
00:17:31,014 --> 00:17:34,120
- I already told you, I have issues.
- Issues?
377
00:17:34,217 --> 00:17:35,787
You look like a Gap model!
378
00:17:35,885 --> 00:17:37,626
When I was your age, I had
a mouth full of braces
379
00:17:37,721 --> 00:17:39,667
and a face like a
Papa John's pizza.
380
00:17:39,756 --> 00:17:41,064
Those are real issues, my man.
381
00:17:41,191 --> 00:17:42,363
Whatever.
382
00:17:42,459 --> 00:17:45,372
I've got a good idea.
Why don't we go to a dance club?
383
00:17:45,462 --> 00:17:46,497
Why don't we play a game?
384
00:17:46,596 --> 00:17:48,974
- Like Spin the Bottle?
- No, not like Spin the Bottle,
385
00:17:49,065 --> 00:17:51,671
like a little game I invented
called the Shut-the-Fuck-Up Game.
386
00:17:52,135 --> 00:17:55,173
First person not to shut the
fuck up loses. Ready? Go.
387
00:18:01,745 --> 00:18:03,747
Come on, Rodrigo,
you just lost, buddy.
388
00:18:03,847 --> 00:18:05,827
It was not me.
389
00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:08,084
Slater, that's disgusting.
390
00:18:08,184 --> 00:18:09,561
Didn't your parents teach
you not to fart in the car?
391
00:18:09,652 --> 00:18:10,790
You just crop-dusted me.
392
00:18:10,887 --> 00:18:12,059
No, that was not me.
393
00:18:12,455 --> 00:18:14,435
- Uh-oh.
- What's "uh-oh"?
394
00:18:14,524 --> 00:18:16,470
It was me. I pooted.
395
00:18:16,559 --> 00:18:19,165
I don't think it was
just a poot-poot.
396
00:18:20,330 --> 00:18:22,105
I sharted.
397
00:18:22,198 --> 00:18:23,506
Come on!
398
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:34,115
When you're
shopping It's super-coal.
399
00:18:34,210 --> 00:18:36,520
Hey, Noah. Oh, my God,
isn't this shirt so cute?
400
00:18:36,613 --> 00:18:39,150
- Oh, it's super-cute!
- Can you get it for me?
401
00:18:39,249 --> 00:18:41,229
Yeah! Of course.
I'll get you anything you want.
402
00:18:41,317 --> 00:18:42,489
- Seriously?
- No.
403
00:18:42,585 --> 00:18:44,155
Here, put these on.
404
00:18:44,254 --> 00:18:47,030
They're green.
I wouldn't be caught dead in these.
405
00:18:47,123 --> 00:18:48,363
Don't shit your pants next time.
406
00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:50,665
Dressing room's over there.
Clean up, or whatever.
407
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,036
Can I help you, sir?
408
00:18:53,129 --> 00:18:55,666
- Can I help you?
- I'm just waiting for somebody.
409
00:18:55,799 --> 00:18:58,177
- Yeah.
- Yup!
410
00:19:01,571 --> 00:19:03,346
- No.
- I'm just waiting for somebody.
411
00:19:03,439 --> 00:19:06,181
That's pretty weird, considering
you're a grown-ass man
412
00:19:06,276 --> 00:19:08,381
hanging out in the little
girls' underwear section.
413
00:19:08,478 --> 00:19:09,957
Right.
I could see how that could be
414
00:19:10,046 --> 00:19:11,525
misconstrued as
strange, or whatever.
415
00:19:11,614 --> 00:19:12,922
- Very.
- They fit. Let's go.
416
00:19:13,016 --> 00:19:14,188
There we go. There she is.
417
00:19:14,284 --> 00:19:16,696
Excuse me, young lady,
do you know this person?
418
00:19:16,786 --> 00:19:18,026
- No.
- Yeah.
419
00:19:18,121 --> 00:19:19,225
Which is it?
420
00:19:19,322 --> 00:19:22,030
He came into my house and
stole my mom's minivan.
421
00:19:22,125 --> 00:19:24,628
Now he's taking me and my
brothers to get some candy.
422
00:19:24,761 --> 00:19:28,231
Okay, that sounds way, way
worse than it actually is.
423
00:19:28,331 --> 00:19:29,935
Hey, don't I know
you from somewhere?
424
00:19:30,066 --> 00:19:32,546
What? No, I'm the babysitter.
425
00:19:32,635 --> 00:19:34,444
- What?
- He's not a real babysitter.
426
00:19:34,537 --> 00:19:37,848
He's a "do-whatever-l-say-
or-I'll-kill-you type of babysitter."
427
00:19:37,941 --> 00:19:39,079
What?
428
00:19:39,175 --> 00:19:40,245
- That sounds way...
- That's what he said!
429
00:19:40,343 --> 00:19:41,788
Blithe, shut the fuck up.
430
00:19:41,911 --> 00:19:43,549
Do not tell her to shut up!
431
00:19:43,646 --> 00:19:44,920
Thank you.
432
00:19:45,014 --> 00:19:47,756
Shit! I remember you!
I went to high school with your ass!
433
00:19:47,851 --> 00:19:49,592
You came to my house
party one time,
434
00:19:49,752 --> 00:19:53,256
got all wasted, and then you
puked in my grandmama's urn.
435
00:19:53,356 --> 00:19:54,960
And when I asked you
about it, you lied
436
00:19:55,058 --> 00:19:56,662
and ran away like
a little biotch!
437
00:19:56,759 --> 00:19:58,067
I didn't run away
like a little biotch!
438
00:19:58,194 --> 00:19:59,502
I probably just ran
like a normal person.
439
00:19:59,629 --> 00:20:03,736
And now you're hanging out in the
little girls' clothes section.
440
00:20:03,833 --> 00:20:06,643
Can you please lower your voice?
There are numerous misunderstandings.
441
00:20:06,736 --> 00:20:09,080
No, no, no. I'm not buying none of this.
Come on, little girl.
442
00:20:09,205 --> 00:20:11,082
- Let me go!
- I'm not buying it!
443
00:20:17,580 --> 00:20:19,651
You got some shit to deal with!
444
00:20:19,749 --> 00:20:20,883
Security!
445
00:20:20,884 --> 00:20:22,522
Security!
446
00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:27,330
Why did you say that, Blithe?
447
00:20:27,457 --> 00:20:28,492
You were trying to make
me buy green underwear.
448
00:20:28,592 --> 00:20:29,832
Green underwear is not hot!
449
00:20:29,926 --> 00:20:31,132
You're the worst
babysitter ever!
450
00:20:31,227 --> 00:20:33,036
"You're
the worst babysitter ever!"
451
00:20:35,231 --> 00:20:36,232
You guys?
452
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:37,972
Where's Rodrigo?
453
00:20:39,436 --> 00:20:41,074
I don't know. I guess he left.
454
00:20:44,608 --> 00:20:48,021
That's an incredible observation, Slater.
Where did he go?
455
00:20:48,111 --> 00:20:50,091
I don't know.
I was talking to my friend Clayton.
456
00:20:50,213 --> 00:20:52,523
- Which way did he go?
- I don't know!
457
00:20:56,620 --> 00:20:58,395
Got you, you little bastard.
458
00:21:02,459 --> 00:21:04,700
- Hey, what's up?
- May I help you, sir?
459
00:21:04,794 --> 00:21:05,966
Yeah.
460
00:21:06,096 --> 00:21:08,702
I'm looking for a
small Hispanic boy.
461
00:21:08,798 --> 00:21:12,075
About 4'8", leather jacket,
pajamas, cowboy boots.
462
00:21:12,168 --> 00:21:13,704
- Have you seen him?
- No.
463
00:21:13,803 --> 00:21:15,282
"I've not seen a
4'8" Hispanic boy
464
00:21:15,405 --> 00:21:17,715
in a leather jacket,
pajamas, and cowboy boots.
465
00:21:17,807 --> 00:21:18,842
Probably would have
remembered that.
466
00:21:18,942 --> 00:21:22,549
Something tells me you have
before, you fucking asshole.
467
00:21:22,646 --> 00:21:28,995
Don't say no because {insist.
468
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:35,536
Somewhere, somehow someone's
got to be kissed.
469
00:21:40,096 --> 00:21:41,871
There you are!
What are you doing in here?
470
00:21:41,965 --> 00:21:43,501
I dropped a bomb.
471
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,840
That's very cute.
472
00:21:44,968 --> 00:21:46,572
Come on, wash your hands.
473
00:21:52,375 --> 00:21:53,376
What's so funny?
474
00:21:56,846 --> 00:21:57,847
Oh, shit!
475
00:21:57,981 --> 00:21:59,824
Oh, shit, what are you doing?
476
00:22:04,287 --> 00:22:05,595
What is going on back there?
477
00:22:05,689 --> 00:22:08,260
It's all good! Just continue
eating your meals. I know him.
478
00:22:08,358 --> 00:22:09,530
He's a friend of mine.
479
00:22:10,226 --> 00:22:11,705
That looks good. What is that?
480
00:22:12,162 --> 00:22:13,937
You run away again, and
I'll break your legs!
481
00:22:14,030 --> 00:22:15,134
Then I bite your ear!
482
00:22:15,231 --> 00:22:17,211
- What? I bite your what?
- I eat your ear.
483
00:22:17,333 --> 00:22:19,779
I bite it off with my teeth,
then you don't hear nothing.
484
00:22:19,869 --> 00:22:21,348
That's very specific.
485
00:22:26,576 --> 00:22:29,716
All right. I've got to pick
up some candy for my girlfriend.
486
00:22:29,813 --> 00:22:32,589
So you guys wait here and watch
little bin Laden back there, okay?
487
00:22:32,682 --> 00:22:34,889
This isn't about
getting candy, is it?
488
00:22:34,984 --> 00:22:36,793
Lock the doors, keep your
head between your legs.
489
00:22:36,886 --> 00:22:39,833
Don't move or talk to
anybody or look at anybody.
490
00:22:41,224 --> 00:22:43,500
Don't you
fuck with me, Rodrigo.
491
00:22:47,030 --> 00:22:49,806
Hey, mister! Hey, over here!
492
00:22:49,899 --> 00:22:52,971
I do top shit or bottom,
whatever you want.
493
00:22:57,340 --> 00:22:59,479
- Noah Griffith?
- Yeah.
494
00:22:59,576 --> 00:23:00,850
Are you Karl?
495
00:23:02,245 --> 00:23:05,021
No, I fucking wish, papi.
496
00:23:05,115 --> 00:23:08,187
If you want to see Karl,
I'm gonna have to, like,
497
00:23:08,918 --> 00:23:10,864
strip-search you.
498
00:23:12,522 --> 00:23:15,731
Okay, we're good.
I believed you.
499
00:23:16,860 --> 00:23:18,771
Follow me!
500
00:23:18,895 --> 00:23:20,374
What the fuck?
501
00:23:25,402 --> 00:23:26,881
This way.
502
00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:28,176
Hey, Eduardo!
503
00:23:29,539 --> 00:23:31,519
He's really cranky.
504
00:23:53,830 --> 00:23:56,208
That's Russ.
He's got an attitude.
505
00:24:00,103 --> 00:24:01,639
You're such a slowpoke.
506
00:24:08,845 --> 00:24:10,119
Come on.
507
00:24:35,071 --> 00:24:38,382
It's okay. Do it again.
Do it again.
508
00:24:39,709 --> 00:24:41,347
One more time.
509
00:24:42,012 --> 00:24:44,117
That's good. I like that.
510
00:24:51,788 --> 00:24:54,098
- Hey, Karl!
- Oh, my God! You scared me!
511
00:24:54,190 --> 00:24:56,534
You scared me, sneaking up on
me like a little squirrel!
512
00:24:56,660 --> 00:24:59,607
- You have a visitor.
- Dude, the roller skates.
513
00:24:59,696 --> 00:25:02,006
You're going to get track marks
all over my mahogany floors.
514
00:25:02,098 --> 00:25:03,099
Are you serious?
515
00:25:03,199 --> 00:25:05,509
Go get me a smoothie.
Get out of my face.
516
00:25:05,602 --> 00:25:07,582
- You're no fun.
- You're no fun.
517
00:25:07,704 --> 00:25:10,310
Oh, my God. Hi. Hi.
518
00:25:10,407 --> 00:25:13,786
You must be Noah Griffith.
I've been waiting for you all night.
519
00:25:13,877 --> 00:25:15,788
- What's up?
- I'm Karl with a.
520
00:25:15,879 --> 00:25:16,949
Sorry about the banging.
521
00:25:17,047 --> 00:25:18,651
We're doing some slight
renovations, as you can see.
522
00:25:18,748 --> 00:25:20,022
We're knocking down some walls
523
00:25:20,116 --> 00:25:21,356
so we can get a little more
square footage in here.
524
00:25:21,451 --> 00:25:22,930
A little more elbow room.
525
00:25:23,019 --> 00:25:25,590
- That's awesome.
- What's awesome about it?
526
00:25:27,190 --> 00:25:28,726
Why is that awesome?
527
00:25:30,226 --> 00:25:34,538
More room for bodybuilders
and experiments and stuff.
528
00:25:37,133 --> 00:25:39,204
That's funny!
You're funny, Noah Griffith.
529
00:25:39,302 --> 00:25:40,713
You're really funny.
530
00:25:40,804 --> 00:25:44,115
Thank you.
You're very cool as well. So...
531
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,186
You sure we haven't met?
532
00:25:47,711 --> 00:25:49,554
Déjà vu.
533
00:25:49,646 --> 00:25:51,887
Hey, check this out.
534
00:25:51,981 --> 00:25:53,517
This is an art project.
535
00:25:53,616 --> 00:25:56,927
It's made from the shell of
an ancient baby dinosaur egg.
536
00:25:57,053 --> 00:25:59,659
We like to package our
product artistically.
537
00:25:59,756 --> 00:26:02,532
And prehistorically. Bump?
538
00:26:03,593 --> 00:26:05,231
I'm fine, thanks.
539
00:26:07,430 --> 00:26:11,037
I like you, Noah Griffith!
You're so shy.
540
00:26:11,134 --> 00:26:13,705
You're so gorgeous and shy.
You remind me of my Aunt Shirley.
541
00:26:13,803 --> 00:26:15,874
She was Asian. Are you biracial?
542
00:26:16,439 --> 00:26:18,544
Karl! I got shot!
543
00:26:18,675 --> 00:26:20,951
- Oh, my God.
- I got shot, Karl.
544
00:26:21,044 --> 00:26:22,079
Oh, my God.
545
00:26:22,178 --> 00:26:24,055
Don't let me die on
this floor, Karl.
546
00:26:24,147 --> 00:26:25,455
Who shot at you?
547
00:26:25,548 --> 00:26:28,927
Angelo on 14th Street shot
me in my tummy, Karl.
548
00:26:29,018 --> 00:26:30,463
He shot me in my tummy.
549
00:26:30,553 --> 00:26:31,827
Oh, my God.
550
00:26:31,921 --> 00:26:34,925
Please, someone, please!
Somebody get me a doctor!
551
00:26:35,325 --> 00:26:37,931
Please, someone...
Do you know CPR?
552
00:26:38,027 --> 00:26:39,028
What? I don't know.
553
00:26:39,129 --> 00:26:40,506
Do you know CPR?
554
00:26:40,597 --> 00:26:43,373
I don't even think mouth-to-mouth
will help this particular situation.
555
00:26:43,466 --> 00:26:44,774
Why doesn't Garv do it?
556
00:26:47,103 --> 00:26:48,741
Karl, don't let me die!
557
00:26:48,838 --> 00:26:49,908
I have kids, man.
558
00:26:50,006 --> 00:26:52,612
My God. Jesus Christ.
559
00:26:52,709 --> 00:26:54,780
Fucking hell!
560
00:26:54,911 --> 00:26:56,515
Somebody help me.
561
00:26:58,114 --> 00:27:00,287
- Fine! What?
- Help me, please.
562
00:27:00,383 --> 00:27:01,589
He's going into shock.
563
00:27:01,684 --> 00:27:03,061
- Please, help me.
- Oh, God.
564
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:04,931
Now, please, hurry up.
565
00:27:05,989 --> 00:27:07,093
What's up, fool?
566
00:27:07,791 --> 00:27:08,792
Got you!
567
00:27:08,892 --> 00:27:10,235
What's happening right now?
568
00:27:10,326 --> 00:27:12,533
I don't understand. Are you okay?
What, is this a joke?
569
00:27:13,663 --> 00:27:15,472
I got him! I got him!
570
00:27:15,565 --> 00:27:18,307
I could smell your breath that time.
You were so close.
571
00:27:18,401 --> 00:27:21,007
- What's happening?
- You're so adorable.
572
00:27:21,104 --> 00:27:22,640
You just fell for
a little prank.
573
00:27:22,739 --> 00:27:24,980
- Prank?
- Around here, we pull pranks and shit
574
00:27:25,074 --> 00:27:27,054
to make sure people
aren't undercover pigs
575
00:27:27,143 --> 00:27:28,417
'cause we kill pigs around here.
576
00:27:28,511 --> 00:27:30,354
This is Julio, my
business partner.
577
00:27:31,481 --> 00:27:32,585
This is Kool-Aid, man.
578
00:27:33,049 --> 00:27:35,029
Come on over here.
Let's get down to business.
579
00:27:37,253 --> 00:27:40,291
Right there, there are prostitutes
and there are people with guns.
580
00:27:40,390 --> 00:27:42,392
And I don't want to
get shot tonight.
581
00:27:42,525 --> 00:27:44,300
She ain't nothin'
but a hoochie mama.
582
00:27:44,394 --> 00:27:45,839
Hoadrat, hoadrat hoachie mama.
583
00:27:45,929 --> 00:27:49,638
Oh, I love those big brown eyes And
the way you shake your thighs.
584
00:27:49,732 --> 00:27:53,305
Acting like you're so damn cute Just
let your boy just slide them boots.
585
00:27:54,437 --> 00:27:56,041
- You got my money?
- Yeah.
586
00:27:56,172 --> 00:27:57,776
- Yeah!
- Put out your hand.
587
00:27:58,475 --> 00:27:59,510
Here's one ticket.
588
00:27:59,609 --> 00:28:01,680
Trick or treat, smell my feet.
589
00:28:01,778 --> 00:28:04,622
- How do you know Marisa?
- You know Marisa?
590
00:28:05,348 --> 00:28:07,294
She is my girlfriend, actually.
591
00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:12,565
Come on, man, stop it!
592
00:28:13,423 --> 00:28:15,300
Karl.
593
00:28:15,425 --> 00:28:17,234
There's some kid here.
594
00:28:17,327 --> 00:28:19,398
You didn't call the
fuzz, did you, Noah?
595
00:28:19,496 --> 00:28:20,975
No. Rodrigo.
596
00:28:21,764 --> 00:28:24,745
What are you doing? Go back to the car.
How'd you even get in here?
597
00:28:24,834 --> 00:28:26,370
I pee-pee now.
598
00:28:27,303 --> 00:28:29,874
- He's with you?
- Yeah, I'm babysitting.
599
00:28:29,973 --> 00:28:31,008
Babysitting?
600
00:28:31,107 --> 00:28:34,350
You need to go back to the car, because
you already went pee-pee. Okay?
601
00:28:34,444 --> 00:28:36,253
- I pee-pee.
- Pee your pants.
602
00:28:36,346 --> 00:28:38,189
What's your problem, man?
Let him take a piss!
603
00:28:38,281 --> 00:28:39,817
Trying to make a little
kid hold in his pee-pee!
604
00:28:39,916 --> 00:28:41,623
That's right. Oye, Fonzie.
605
00:28:44,287 --> 00:28:46,733
- You go pee-pee.
- Don't make a mess!
606
00:28:46,823 --> 00:28:48,097
Come in for a bear hug.
607
00:28:49,592 --> 00:28:51,128
Get outta here.
Put that handshake away.
608
00:28:51,227 --> 00:28:53,104
Better hug this motherfucker if
you know what's good for you.
609
00:28:53,196 --> 00:28:54,573
Hug him tight!
610
00:28:56,332 --> 00:28:57,936
Sword fight up in this motherfucker!
Pull it together!
611
00:28:59,135 --> 00:29:00,910
Have a great night.
612
00:29:01,638 --> 00:29:04,642
Okay, I know we had a few
setbacks, but we're almost done.
613
00:29:04,741 --> 00:29:06,778
I just gotta drop off this
package to my girlfriend,
614
00:29:06,876 --> 00:29:08,446
say a quick hi-ho to her,
615
00:29:08,545 --> 00:29:10,354
then I'm going to turn us
around and take us home.
616
00:29:10,647 --> 00:29:11,853
I know I can be a bit
of a prick sometimes,
617
00:29:11,948 --> 00:29:13,757
so I want to thank you
guys for being patient.
618
00:29:13,850 --> 00:29:16,592
Okay, so we're gonna go to
my favorite club in New York City,
619
00:29:16,686 --> 00:29:17,756
and you're gonna come...
620
00:29:17,854 --> 00:29:19,856
- Hey, buddy, what you got there?
- I no know.
621
00:29:19,989 --> 00:29:21,195
I find it in bathroom.
622
00:29:22,559 --> 00:29:23,970
Shit!
623
00:29:26,563 --> 00:29:29,373
Rodrigo, give that
to me right now.
624
00:29:29,499 --> 00:29:31,137
I'm serious, man.
Give it to me right now.
625
00:29:31,234 --> 00:29:32,611
No way. Finder keepers.
626
00:29:32,702 --> 00:29:36,115
- Put it in my hand right now!
- No.
627
00:29:36,205 --> 00:29:37,445
- Rodrigo.
- No.
628
00:29:37,540 --> 00:29:39,349
Just... Just let go!
629
00:29:39,475 --> 00:29:42,684
- It's mine.
- Let it go! Just give it to me!
630
00:29:42,812 --> 00:29:45,315
You're both such booger faces.
Stop fighting!
631
00:29:46,149 --> 00:29:47,492
- Let go!
- Okay.
632
00:29:49,819 --> 00:29:51,162
It's snowing!
633
00:29:55,024 --> 00:29:57,630
What the fuck?
634
00:30:11,007 --> 00:30:12,418
- Hello?
- Noah Griffith!
635
00:30:12,542 --> 00:30:13,987
Hey!
636
00:30:14,077 --> 00:30:16,557
Hey, Karl, what's up?
How did you get this number?
637
00:30:16,646 --> 00:30:18,353
I got it off your Facebook page,
638
00:30:18,448 --> 00:30:21,054
as I was trying to friend you
as you were walking out.
639
00:30:21,150 --> 00:30:24,324
Anyway, as I was friending
you, Julio noticed that
640
00:30:24,454 --> 00:30:26,798
maybe you stole a baby
dinosaur egg from me.
641
00:30:26,923 --> 00:30:29,028
And it's just, like,
I'm confused.
642
00:30:29,125 --> 00:30:32,072
You know what I mean?
Because I'm thinking that we're friends,
643
00:30:32,161 --> 00:30:35,768
and then all of a sudden, I
don't know, it's like...
644
00:30:36,532 --> 00:30:38,671
I really liked you, you know?
645
00:30:38,768 --> 00:30:42,341
Karl, just relax, please.
I'm sorry, I don't have your drugs.
646
00:30:42,438 --> 00:30:44,418
The kid I'm babysitting,
he took one of your eggs,
647
00:30:44,540 --> 00:30:47,020
and! Was trying to get it back and it
accidentally splashed in my face.
648
00:30:47,110 --> 00:30:48,919
Fucking shut the fuck up.
649
00:30:49,045 --> 00:30:50,388
Unless I get my drugs back
650
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:54,053
or my money back, I'm
going to kill you!
651
00:30:54,150 --> 00:30:55,788
I'll fucking kill you!
652
00:30:55,918 --> 00:30:57,761
I want you to meet me
at Wing's Fish Market.
653
00:30:57,854 --> 00:30:58,855
Where?
654
00:30:58,955 --> 00:31:01,265
Wing's Fish Market.
It's in Chinese Town.
655
00:31:01,557 --> 00:31:05,471
You meet me there in one hour with
my 10 grand, or you're dead meat.
656
00:31:05,561 --> 00:31:07,632
Okay. Thanks, bye.
657
00:31:08,798 --> 00:31:10,243
I have to go pee-pee now.
658
00:31:11,534 --> 00:31:13,946
You're holding it in
this time, asshole.
659
00:31:24,380 --> 00:31:26,121
It'll be all right.
660
00:31:26,215 --> 00:31:28,286
I thought he was my friend.
661
00:31:33,656 --> 00:31:35,192
It's all right.
662
00:31:40,063 --> 00:31:41,701
- Shut up!
- I wanna go home.
663
00:31:41,798 --> 00:31:43,835
I don't know what you're saying.
664
00:31:43,933 --> 00:31:45,344
- Don't. Stop it!
- Stop! No!
665
00:31:45,435 --> 00:31:49,850
- No, my lip gloss! Give it back!
- Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
666
00:31:49,939 --> 00:31:51,179
What are you getting
mad at us for?
667
00:31:51,274 --> 00:31:54,551
Because Rodrigo here is a thief,
and now I'm in deep shit.
668
00:31:54,644 --> 00:31:58,251
And the worst part of all of this is
that I'm stuck here with you three.
669
00:31:58,347 --> 00:32:01,123
You, you got more issues
than a magazine stand.
670
00:32:01,217 --> 00:32:05,359
And, you, wipe the makeup off your face, Picasso.
What are you, a mob wife?
671
00:32:05,455 --> 00:32:07,628
And, you, you're the worst.
672
00:32:07,724 --> 00:32:11,137
I know you're a little kid, and I know I'm not
supposed to say this kind of stuff to you,
673
00:32:11,627 --> 00:32:13,436
but fuck you.
674
00:32:13,563 --> 00:32:15,270
Fuck you so much.
675
00:32:15,364 --> 00:32:16,536
You're a douche.
676
00:32:16,632 --> 00:32:20,239
Look, Noah, if you hate us that much,
then just drop us off with our parents.
677
00:32:20,336 --> 00:32:23,943
You know what?
That's an amazing idea. Let's go.
678
00:32:36,252 --> 00:32:39,062
I've seen the way
you look at me.
679
00:32:40,289 --> 00:32:44,203
I know the things you say
when I'm not there.
680
00:32:46,796 --> 00:32:49,902
But when you're here
alone with me.
681
00:32:51,367 --> 00:32:54,507
Baby, don't pretend
that you don't care.
682
00:32:54,604 --> 00:32:59,246
Come on, let the feeling begin.
683
00:32:59,342 --> 00:33:02,880
Come on, baby Come on, yeah.
684
00:33:05,248 --> 00:33:09,219
Don't stop when the
feeling begins.
685
00:33:11,020 --> 00:33:15,127
Come on. I've changed my mind.
I need to clean up my mess myself.
686
00:33:16,659 --> 00:33:20,300
All right, ideas, ideas,
ideas, ideas, ideas.
687
00:33:22,298 --> 00:33:23,402
Okay. Slater, can you
get off the phone?
688
00:33:23,499 --> 00:33:25,308
I need an idea. You can text
your buddy Clayton later, okay?
689
00:33:25,401 --> 00:33:26,880
Yeah, man, seriously!
690
00:33:26,969 --> 00:33:28,971
It's not Clayton.
It's those twins,
691
00:33:29,071 --> 00:33:32,575
and they want me to go to Prospect Hall
for Wendy Sapperstein's Bat Mitzvah.
692
00:33:32,675 --> 00:33:35,155
That's, like, a pretty
swanky joint, right?
693
00:33:35,278 --> 00:33:39,693
Yeah, the Sappersteins are totally
loaded and she's, like, crazy spoiled.
694
00:33:39,816 --> 00:33:40,817
Spoiled.
695
00:33:42,185 --> 00:33:44,131
So lots of gifts, lots of cash.
696
00:33:45,221 --> 00:33:48,225
Slater, you're a genius.
You're a genius, dude!
697
00:33:51,861 --> 00:33:54,171
All right, let's go,
let's go, let's go!
698
00:33:54,297 --> 00:33:56,538
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Hustle!
699
00:33:57,667 --> 00:34:00,204
All right, come on, kids.
Come on.
700
00:34:00,837 --> 00:34:02,145
All right, thank you.
701
00:34:02,238 --> 00:34:05,378
- This place looks like a party.
- Keep walking, keep walking.
702
00:34:06,576 --> 00:34:08,715
Maybe you should just
invite anyone you know,
703
00:34:08,845 --> 00:34:10,950
anyone who's ugly, because
they seem to all be here!
704
00:34:11,647 --> 00:34:14,218
That's very nice.
Is that what the rabbis taught you?
705
00:34:14,350 --> 00:34:17,058
Mom! This is my night.
It's my celebration,
706
00:34:17,186 --> 00:34:19,666
and I did not invite these
nerds to my Bat Mitzvah!
707
00:34:19,755 --> 00:34:23,066
What more can I do for you?
Rent the Taj Ma-fucking-hal for you?
708
00:34:23,159 --> 00:34:26,936
There's so much blue cheese
here, it smells like barf, Mom!
709
00:34:27,029 --> 00:34:30,010
Damn, Wendy Sapperstein's
a big ol' bitch!
710
00:34:30,099 --> 00:34:31,373
Yeah, she scares me.
711
00:34:31,500 --> 00:34:33,377
All right, guys, we're gonna
stay under the radar.
712
00:34:33,469 --> 00:34:34,914
Okay? Keep it low profile.
713
00:34:36,272 --> 00:34:39,151
Did you hear what I just said?
I said low profile! All right?
714
00:34:40,076 --> 00:34:43,216
Stop puncturing balloons!
Do you understand me?
715
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,686
Noah, Noah.
Does this place have bottle service?
716
00:34:46,782 --> 00:34:48,159
I want a Red Bull and vodka.
717
00:34:48,251 --> 00:34:50,731
No, you don't. You don't even know what that is.
It's bad for you.
718
00:34:50,820 --> 00:34:54,495
- Slater! You showed up!
- We've been looking all over for you!
719
00:34:54,590 --> 00:34:56,968
- Oh. Hey.
- We've been dancing all night.
720
00:34:57,059 --> 00:34:58,595
Yeah, this Bat
Mitzvah is the best!
721
00:34:58,728 --> 00:35:01,208
It's like Jew city out there,
and we're the fucking mayors.
722
00:35:01,297 --> 00:35:02,332
You ready to go dance?
723
00:35:02,431 --> 00:35:05,742
He's ready to go dance.
This guy was born to dance.
724
00:35:05,835 --> 00:35:07,041
- You want to come?
- Come on. Let's go.
725
00:35:07,136 --> 00:35:08,114
You big stud.
726
00:35:08,204 --> 00:35:12,346
Time to go make a Slater sandwich!
Some of that gingerbread, my man.
727
00:35:13,809 --> 00:35:16,653
No bathrooms, you understand me, Rodrigo?
No baño.
728
00:35:18,915 --> 00:35:20,758
- You're a pendejo.
- You're a puto.
729
00:35:20,850 --> 00:35:22,261
You're a puta, bitch.
730
00:35:22,351 --> 00:35:23,659
I'm gonna fuck you up, dawg!
731
00:35:42,805 --> 00:35:45,445
- Noah Griffith?
- Hey.
732
00:35:45,541 --> 00:35:46,645
That's you, right?
733
00:35:46,742 --> 00:35:49,450
- Yeah. What's up? How's it going?
- It's Roxanne.
734
00:35:49,545 --> 00:35:51,889
I lived in the dorms down the
hall from you, freshman year.
735
00:35:51,981 --> 00:35:53,688
That's right.
We were in Astronomy, right?
736
00:35:53,783 --> 00:35:55,228
Yeah, I sat behind
you in Astronomy.
737
00:35:55,318 --> 00:35:57,525
We were, like, the only two
students who seemed to give a shit.
738
00:35:57,653 --> 00:35:58,757
That's right. Yeah.
739
00:35:58,854 --> 00:36:01,767
You made that scale model of
Saturn with a cantaloupe, right?
740
00:36:01,857 --> 00:36:03,598
- Oh, shit, yeah.
- That was you.
741
00:36:03,693 --> 00:36:05,331
- That thing was fresh. That was cool.
- Yeah, that was me.
742
00:36:05,461 --> 00:36:07,702
Did you know about the
geomagnetic storm tonight?
743
00:36:07,830 --> 00:36:10,868
I did. I'm gonna check it out. Are you?
I'm actually kind of excited for it.
744
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:12,138
Yeah. For sure.
745
00:36:12,234 --> 00:36:14,043
- Yeah, it's gonna be cool.
- Yeah, it's gonna be pretty cool.
746
00:36:14,170 --> 00:36:17,014
Stay on that dance floor!
It's time for the hora!
747
00:36:18,674 --> 00:36:21,211
Hava Nagila, yeah.
You gonna go on the chair?
748
00:36:21,344 --> 00:36:22,823
- I don't think so.
- Yeah?
749
00:36:22,912 --> 00:36:24,323
No. No chair for me.
750
00:36:24,413 --> 00:36:27,019
I can't believe you're here.
Like, I haven't seen you in forever.
751
00:36:27,149 --> 00:36:29,823
Yeah, I'm actually not
in school this year.
752
00:36:29,919 --> 00:36:31,057
That sucks.
753
00:36:31,187 --> 00:36:34,498
But I'm working right
now, obviously.
754
00:36:34,590 --> 00:36:37,730
But once I get off work, I'm going to a
pool hall with some of my co-workers.
755
00:36:37,860 --> 00:36:39,464
- Would you want to come?
- Oh, cool.
756
00:36:39,562 --> 00:36:44,841
That would be great, but I'm actually
in the middle of a situation currently.
757
00:36:44,934 --> 00:36:46,675
Oh, yeah. No worries.
I just thought I'd ask.
758
00:36:46,769 --> 00:36:48,339
No. Thank you. Any other time.
759
00:36:48,738 --> 00:36:49,716
Oh, my God.
760
00:36:53,842 --> 00:36:55,253
Oh, shit.
761
00:36:55,377 --> 00:36:58,153
- It was great running into you again.
- Oh, my God!
762
00:36:59,448 --> 00:37:01,086
Put your fucking dick away!
763
00:37:01,216 --> 00:37:03,059
You're getting piss all over me!
764
00:37:03,185 --> 00:37:05,426
You're getting piss
all over my feet!
765
00:37:05,554 --> 00:37:07,056
Watch out. Come on.
766
00:37:07,189 --> 00:37:09,533
- Happy birthday, Wendy!
- Maze! tov, Wendy.
767
00:37:09,625 --> 00:37:11,070
What were you doing?
768
00:37:11,193 --> 00:37:13,867
You do not take a piss in the
middle of a party, okay?
769
00:37:14,930 --> 00:37:16,432
You don't piss in the middle
of a Bat Mitzvah, you idiot!
770
00:37:16,532 --> 00:37:17,875
Clayton?
771
00:37:17,967 --> 00:37:19,412
Oh, shit.
772
00:37:19,535 --> 00:37:22,243
What are you doing here?
What about your tarantula?
773
00:37:22,371 --> 00:37:25,215
- Oh, I got over that, man.
- It's just a spider, bro.
774
00:37:25,307 --> 00:37:27,719
Since when do you hang out
with Benji Gillespie?
775
00:37:27,810 --> 00:37:29,847
Look, I can hang out with as
many other people as I want.
776
00:37:29,945 --> 00:37:31,356
I don't think you
understand that.
777
00:37:31,447 --> 00:37:33,256
I'm getting kind of sick of going
to your house all the time
778
00:37:33,382 --> 00:37:34,793
and watching tennis.
779
00:37:34,917 --> 00:37:36,191
We do other shit.
780
00:37:36,285 --> 00:37:38,788
No, we don't!
You don't do anything!
781
00:37:38,921 --> 00:37:41,060
I can't just always
hang around you.
782
00:37:41,156 --> 00:37:43,932
I don't get why you're
being mean to me.
783
00:37:44,059 --> 00:37:45,697
He doesn't want to hang out
with you any more, bro.
784
00:37:45,794 --> 00:37:47,068
How hard is it to
understand that?
785
00:37:47,162 --> 00:37:50,974
Just stop calling and texting
him all the time. It's weird.
786
00:37:53,502 --> 00:37:54,913
Is that true?
787
00:37:55,604 --> 00:37:57,083
See you around.
788
00:37:58,607 --> 00:37:59,881
Yo.
789
00:38:00,976 --> 00:38:02,011
Hey, man. You all right?
790
00:38:02,111 --> 00:38:03,385
- Those guys fucking with you?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
791
00:38:03,479 --> 00:38:05,686
- You okay?
- Yeah, just leave me alone!
792
00:38:08,117 --> 00:38:11,189
Hi. I'm so sorry to have
to say this to you.
793
00:38:11,286 --> 00:38:13,698
It's just that I can't
seem to find your car.
794
00:38:15,789 --> 00:38:17,700
What do you mean, you
can't find my car?
795
00:38:17,992 --> 00:38:20,905
Well, I think we lost it.
796
00:38:20,995 --> 00:38:23,601
You didn't lose your Morrissey box set.
Where's my fucking car, dude?
797
00:38:24,865 --> 00:38:26,708
Did you lose it or you
taking a shit right now?
798
00:38:27,034 --> 00:38:28,035
A little of both.
799
00:38:28,135 --> 00:38:29,443
There's no "a little
bit" of taking a shit.
800
00:38:29,536 --> 00:38:30,947
You're either shitting
your pants or you're not.
801
00:38:32,806 --> 00:38:35,582
Stop crying, all right?
It's not going to solve anything.
802
00:38:35,676 --> 00:38:37,349
Let's go find this shit.
All right?
803
00:38:39,079 --> 00:38:40,080
Hey, look! There it is!
804
00:38:40,214 --> 00:38:42,660
Oh, thank God we found it.
805
00:38:42,750 --> 00:38:45,731
That's not finding it, you idiot.
Someone stole it.
806
00:38:46,186 --> 00:38:47,563
Oh, poo.
807
00:38:55,662 --> 00:38:57,073
Three thousand bucks.
808
00:38:57,164 --> 00:38:58,643
Is that good?
809
00:38:59,466 --> 00:39:03,471
No. It's not. We need 7,000 more.
And it's almost 11:00.
810
00:39:03,604 --> 00:39:06,949
Hey, Noah, I have an idea.
How about you start your own signature fragrance?
811
00:39:07,041 --> 00:39:08,247
That's a great idea!
812
00:39:08,342 --> 00:39:11,084
I'll just alert my team of scientists,
have them invent a new perfume.
813
00:39:11,178 --> 00:39:14,352
We'll start selling it and we'll have
seven grand in the next 45 minutes!
814
00:39:14,448 --> 00:39:17,657
- You're such a jerk.
- God damn it, my fucking shin.
815
00:39:17,751 --> 00:39:19,128
I'm just trying to help.
816
00:39:19,219 --> 00:39:21,392
All I know is, is I'm going
to be a famous celebrity
817
00:39:21,488 --> 00:39:23,627
who designs on the side,
and I'm going to be rich.
818
00:39:23,757 --> 00:39:25,134
What the hell are
you talking about?
819
00:39:25,225 --> 00:39:26,863
You do know that just
being a celebrity and
820
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,133
having a good time is
not a real job, right?
821
00:39:29,229 --> 00:39:32,438
Yeah, it is! Being a famous celebrity
is the greatest thing in the world!
822
00:39:32,533 --> 00:39:34,012
It means people
take your picture.
823
00:39:34,134 --> 00:39:37,206
You get to have birthday parties at the
coolest clubs and dance on tables.
824
00:39:37,304 --> 00:39:39,750
Even for a small child,
you sound like an idiot.
825
00:39:42,309 --> 00:39:43,913
What are you walking away for?
826
00:39:44,011 --> 00:39:45,820
What's your problem,
drama queen?
827
00:39:45,946 --> 00:39:48,586
My problem is that my
best friend Clayton
828
00:39:48,682 --> 00:39:50,286
doesn't want to hang
out with me any more
829
00:39:50,384 --> 00:39:51,954
because he doesn't like me back,
830
00:39:52,052 --> 00:39:55,932
and he'd rather hang out with an
asshole named Benji Gillespie.
831
00:39:56,023 --> 00:39:57,502
That is my problem!
832
00:39:57,624 --> 00:39:59,695
Okay, well...
833
00:39:59,826 --> 00:40:01,806
- You'll make another friend.
- No.
834
00:40:02,863 --> 00:40:04,536
No, I won't.
835
00:40:04,665 --> 00:40:06,667
Well, I don't know the inner
workings of your friendship,
836
00:40:06,767 --> 00:40:09,247
but if he doesn't like
you, then screw him.
837
00:40:12,806 --> 00:40:14,308
All right, train's coming!
838
00:40:14,408 --> 00:40:15,944
Let's go!
839
00:40:20,914 --> 00:40:26,193
If you only knew
what it was like.
840
00:40:26,286 --> 00:40:31,565
Hoping that you see the light.
841
00:40:31,658 --> 00:40:36,232
And you always put up a fight.
842
00:40:36,797 --> 00:40:40,335
I get last within your stare.
843
00:40:43,337 --> 00:40:46,875
When we breathe the same air.
844
00:40:47,975 --> 00:40:51,548
I see you everywhere.
845
00:40:59,119 --> 00:41:03,625
Oh, if you only knew.
846
00:41:08,729 --> 00:41:10,333
It's like actual China.
847
00:41:11,865 --> 00:41:14,243
Excuse me.
Is this Wing's Fish Market?
848
00:41:14,368 --> 00:41:17,372
You must be Noah Griffith.
Mr. Karl is expecting you.
849
00:41:19,306 --> 00:41:21,479
- Wait here, all right?
- So,
850
00:41:22,075 --> 00:41:24,681
did you get my money?
851
00:41:24,778 --> 00:41:26,883
Garv, can I get some
chili flakes, please?
852
00:41:27,381 --> 00:41:28,883
Garv, honey.
853
00:41:28,982 --> 00:41:30,723
Look at me. Look at me!
854
00:41:30,817 --> 00:41:32,763
Yes, I have money right here.
855
00:41:32,886 --> 00:41:34,866
- Garv? Oh, boy.
- Here you go. I got it.
856
00:41:34,955 --> 00:41:36,400
Not listening.
He's got the headphones on.
857
00:41:36,490 --> 00:41:38,902
I got the cash right here for you.
Here you go.
858
00:41:39,493 --> 00:41:41,632
So how do you guys
all know each other?
859
00:41:41,762 --> 00:41:43,469
What the fuck
difference does it make?
860
00:41:43,597 --> 00:41:45,008
- We got a problem.
- What's the problem?
861
00:41:45,098 --> 00:41:47,169
My man! You got $3,000 here.
862
00:41:47,267 --> 00:41:50,146
You are short $7,000!
863
00:41:50,237 --> 00:41:51,307
Short?
864
00:41:51,405 --> 00:41:53,282
Okay, I have checks.
865
00:41:53,407 --> 00:41:54,681
- Are you kidding me?
- Checks, yes.
866
00:41:54,775 --> 00:41:56,482
Checks! What's the matter with you?
867
00:41:56,943 --> 00:41:58,752
Who the fuck is
Wendy Sapperstein?
868
00:41:58,845 --> 00:42:02,486
The Sappersteins are loaded, so they're
not gonna miss the money at all.
869
00:42:02,582 --> 00:42:05,722
Garv! Please, chili flakes!
You don't listen!
870
00:42:05,819 --> 00:42:08,800
- So you can sign the check over to yourself.
- I'll count to three.
871
00:42:08,922 --> 00:42:10,265
- One.
- Sign the checks over?
872
00:42:10,357 --> 00:42:11,768
- Two.
- Yeah, sign the checks over to yourself.
873
00:42:11,858 --> 00:42:13,303
Three. Good night.
874
00:42:16,096 --> 00:42:18,167
- Did you hear that?
- Why'd you do that?
875
00:42:18,265 --> 00:42:20,006
Drop him off at the podiatrist.
876
00:42:20,100 --> 00:42:21,238
Make his mom a mix CD
with an apology letter.
877
00:42:23,803 --> 00:42:26,409
I told you, dawg.
Now your foot match your asshole.
878
00:42:30,477 --> 00:42:31,979
- Hey!
- Hey, Karl!
879
00:42:32,078 --> 00:42:33,284
Hey, Marisa.
880
00:42:33,380 --> 00:42:35,053
- Where you at?
- I'm at a party!
881
00:42:35,148 --> 00:42:36,684
- A party?
- What?
882
00:42:36,783 --> 00:42:38,729
I'm always down to party.
883
00:42:38,818 --> 00:42:41,458
All right, text me the address.
All right, baby.
884
00:42:42,022 --> 00:42:43,524
We're gonna meet you at
this party at midnight.
885
00:42:43,623 --> 00:42:44,863
If you don't have
my seven grand,
886
00:42:44,958 --> 00:42:48,303
Julio's gonna tickle your
girlfriend's asshole with a feather.
887
00:42:49,296 --> 00:42:50,707
How'd you get that name
"The Feather" again?
888
00:42:50,797 --> 00:42:54,108
Let me tell the story, man.
My joint got a little curve to it.
889
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,612
Sol go up in there, and it
tickles the lady's asshole.
890
00:42:56,703 --> 00:42:58,546
Tickle, tickle, tickle,
tickle, tickle, tickle.
891
00:42:58,638 --> 00:43:01,050
My joint goes in and comes
out at the same time,
892
00:43:01,141 --> 00:43:02,415
you know what I'm saying?
Tickle, tickle.
893
00:43:02,509 --> 00:43:05,009
- Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
- Yeah.
894
00:43:05,745 --> 00:43:08,749
See, when I'm stoking,
I see the head,
895
00:43:08,848 --> 00:43:11,795
although I'm in it, my
head is popping out.
896
00:43:11,885 --> 00:43:13,626
Still, like that. Like a U-turn.
897
00:43:13,720 --> 00:43:16,394
My joint make a
U-turn in that ass.
898
00:43:16,489 --> 00:43:20,130
The Feather is in
effect since 1981, son.
899
00:43:22,095 --> 00:43:24,166
My joint be pop-locking
in that ass.
900
00:43:24,264 --> 00:43:27,404
It go in your ass and come out your ass, like that.
See what I'm saying?
901
00:43:27,500 --> 00:43:29,446
Come here. Give me a hug.
902
00:43:29,536 --> 00:43:31,038
- Give him a fucking hug!
- Don't be shy.
903
00:43:31,137 --> 00:43:32,980
You're so shy. Come here.
904
00:43:33,406 --> 00:43:34,510
Hug me tight.
905
00:43:34,608 --> 00:43:36,884
It's okay.
It's our little secret.
906
00:43:36,977 --> 00:43:38,979
But I want you to think
about something.
907
00:43:39,112 --> 00:43:42,389
Garv was my third best
friend in the world,
908
00:43:42,482 --> 00:43:46,225
and I shot him in the feet
for being a bad listener.
909
00:43:46,319 --> 00:43:48,731
You're my eighth best
friend in the world,
910
00:43:48,822 --> 00:43:51,393
and you stole from me.
From my home!
911
00:43:51,491 --> 00:43:53,732
You're gonna meet me at
that party at midnight.
912
00:43:54,628 --> 00:43:58,098
And if you don't get my seven grand,
let's just say it's gonna be bad.
913
00:43:58,198 --> 00:44:00,144
Real fucking bad!
914
00:44:01,267 --> 00:44:02,837
Now get out of here!
915
00:44:02,969 --> 00:44:04,004
Stop staring at me with
those gorgeous eyes.
916
00:44:05,805 --> 00:44:07,751
- All right, guys, let's go.
- Can we go home?
917
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:09,183
No, I have to see somebody.
918
00:44:09,308 --> 00:44:11,254
I don't want to see anybody.
Let's just go home.
919
00:44:11,343 --> 00:44:13,516
Believe me, Slater, I don't want
to see this person, either.
920
00:44:15,281 --> 00:44:16,919
God damn it.
921
00:44:17,016 --> 00:44:18,495
Hey. Beth?
922
00:44:19,785 --> 00:44:22,629
Noah. What are you doing here?
923
00:44:22,721 --> 00:44:25,201
I am babysitting these children.
924
00:44:25,324 --> 00:44:27,304
Looks like we finally have
something in common, right?
925
00:44:27,393 --> 00:44:29,805
I'm not your babysitter
any more, Noah.
926
00:44:29,895 --> 00:44:32,671
Oh, you're not. That's right!
Because you fucked my dad
927
00:44:32,798 --> 00:44:35,836
while he was still married to my
mom and ruined my life. I forgot!
928
00:44:35,968 --> 00:44:37,276
Is he home, by the way?
929
00:44:39,471 --> 00:44:41,451
Seven thousand dollars?
930
00:44:42,842 --> 00:44:43,877
Yes.
931
00:44:44,009 --> 00:44:47,183
There is no way in hell I'm
giving you seven grand, so...
932
00:44:47,580 --> 00:44:52,461
Dad, you screwed Mom and I out
of child support and alimony.
933
00:44:52,551 --> 00:44:55,327
Just do this one thing.
We'll call it even. All right?
934
00:44:55,421 --> 00:44:59,392
You know, I have to say, it is
always some justification with you.
935
00:44:59,525 --> 00:45:01,869
You are never gonna grow
up with that attitude.
936
00:45:01,994 --> 00:45:04,907
Okay, don't do that.
Don't do that. Okay?
937
00:45:05,030 --> 00:45:07,374
Don't pretend like you
care how I turn out.
938
00:45:07,499 --> 00:45:10,412
Let's be very, very
straightforward with one another.
939
00:45:10,536 --> 00:45:12,675
- Okay?
- Okay,
940
00:45:12,771 --> 00:45:15,149
I'm in a jam. Okay?
941
00:45:16,075 --> 00:45:18,180
That's why I'm here,
because I need your help.
942
00:45:18,277 --> 00:45:20,223
And I'm sorry.
943
00:45:20,346 --> 00:45:23,486
I just need you to be my dad for a day.
That's it.
944
00:45:23,582 --> 00:45:25,926
And I'm sorry. I can't help you.
945
00:45:26,051 --> 00:45:29,555
You know what, pal?
It's not my problem.
946
00:45:29,688 --> 00:45:32,692
I mean, it's really
not my problem.
947
00:45:32,791 --> 00:45:34,600
Okay.
948
00:45:35,761 --> 00:45:38,537
Daddy? Can we look at
the telescope now?
949
00:45:38,631 --> 00:45:40,042
Oh, hey, buddy.
950
00:45:40,132 --> 00:45:42,408
Of course. Excuse me a second.
951
00:45:42,534 --> 00:45:44,536
I want you to do me a favor.
952
00:45:44,637 --> 00:45:47,379
I want you to go in the kitchen
and get a little bite to eat
953
00:45:47,473 --> 00:45:49,680
for the two of us.
I'll be right in, okay?
954
00:45:50,242 --> 00:45:51,516
That a boy!
955
00:45:54,213 --> 00:45:57,626
There's a geomagnetic
storm tonight I forgot.
956
00:45:57,750 --> 00:45:59,229
I got thrown off.
957
00:45:59,318 --> 00:46:01,127
- So...
- I didn't even know.
958
00:46:01,253 --> 00:46:02,789
Yeah, I have to go.
959
00:46:07,293 --> 00:46:11,537
You smell like perfume.
You got a lot of perfume on you.
960
00:46:11,630 --> 00:46:13,940
I know. I know I do.
961
00:46:17,069 --> 00:46:18,207
Why?
962
00:46:23,809 --> 00:46:25,311
Gotcha, bitch.
963
00:46:25,444 --> 00:46:27,549
- Shotgun!
- All right, come on, let's go!
964
00:46:27,646 --> 00:46:31,389
Let's roll. Hustle.
Rodrigo, feel free to take a piss in it.
965
00:46:31,483 --> 00:46:32,985
Fancy car.
966
00:46:33,118 --> 00:46:34,825
It smells like hotdogs.
967
00:46:38,290 --> 00:46:40,236
Was that woman at the
door your babysitter?
968
00:46:40,326 --> 00:46:43,307
She was, till I found out my
dad was tipping her extra
969
00:46:43,429 --> 00:46:44,999
when he'd drive her
home at night.
970
00:46:49,702 --> 00:46:50,737
Where are we going?
971
00:46:51,537 --> 00:46:54,416
Just got to pick up something
from my dad's store real quick.
972
00:46:54,506 --> 00:46:55,780
You're breaking in?
973
00:46:57,876 --> 00:46:59,321
Not exactly.
974
00:46:59,445 --> 00:47:02,016
Shouldn't you tell
him about this or something?
975
00:47:06,018 --> 00:47:07,053
What's wrong?
976
00:47:07,152 --> 00:47:09,530
I'm typing in the code,
and it's not working.
977
00:47:09,621 --> 00:47:11,692
- You didn't do it right!
- Yes, I did.
978
00:47:11,790 --> 00:47:12,791
I'm doing it right.
979
00:47:12,891 --> 00:47:15,462
- Maybe your dad changed the code.
- He didn't change the code.
980
00:47:15,561 --> 00:47:17,472
Okay? The code's my birthday.
It's always been my birthday.
981
00:47:17,563 --> 00:47:18,598
He didn't change it.
982
00:47:18,697 --> 00:47:20,506
Maybe it's someone
else's birthday.
983
00:47:32,811 --> 00:47:33,846
Sorry, man.
984
00:47:40,819 --> 00:47:42,696
Let me guess what it is.
985
00:47:50,029 --> 00:47:51,565
Booyah!
986
00:47:59,271 --> 00:48:00,807
Can I tell you my gossip now?
987
00:48:00,906 --> 00:48:02,544
Oh, shit, yeah. Blithe.
988
00:48:03,742 --> 00:48:06,222
Not now. I think we should go, okay?
Let's go. We gotta go.
989
00:48:07,513 --> 00:48:10,551
I saw my daddy kissing
his assistant, Debra.
990
00:48:11,750 --> 00:48:13,957
That's why he always stays
late at the hospital,
991
00:48:14,053 --> 00:48:17,091
'cause he spends all
night kissing Debra.
992
00:48:18,957 --> 00:48:20,493
My mom knows.
993
00:48:20,592 --> 00:48:24,506
She pretends like she doesn't
know, but she knows.
994
00:48:24,596 --> 00:48:26,405
That's not gossip, Blithe.
995
00:48:27,232 --> 00:48:28,711
You know that, right?
996
00:48:29,234 --> 00:48:30,440
Well...
997
00:48:30,536 --> 00:48:33,244
Sometimes people do messed-up
stuff to each other, okay?
998
00:48:33,739 --> 00:48:34,774
Why?
999
00:48:34,873 --> 00:48:38,343
One time I was walking down the street,
I punched my best friend Darius
1000
00:48:38,444 --> 00:48:42,290
in the nut sack for no reason.
Just both fists.
1001
00:48:42,414 --> 00:48:45,122
- Just double-punched him.
- Why would you do that?
1002
00:48:45,818 --> 00:48:46,888
I don't know.
1003
00:48:47,653 --> 00:48:49,098
You're an idiot.
1004
00:48:49,221 --> 00:48:50,962
That's probably true.
I am an idiot.
1005
00:48:51,090 --> 00:48:52,535
And so is your dad.
1006
00:48:53,058 --> 00:48:54,435
Come on.
1007
00:48:56,595 --> 00:48:57,699
Hey.
1008
00:48:58,163 --> 00:48:59,301
Where's Rodrigo?
1009
00:48:59,398 --> 00:49:00,877
He's in the bathroom.
1010
00:49:05,604 --> 00:49:07,242
Oh, no.
1011
00:49:07,339 --> 00:49:10,445
No, tell me...
Tell me you didn't.
1012
00:49:12,945 --> 00:49:14,322
Oh, shit!
1013
00:49:23,755 --> 00:49:26,258
- Why the hell did you do that, Rodrigo?
- Seriously, dude!
1014
00:49:26,358 --> 00:49:27,735
You said you didn't have
any more cherry bombs!
1015
00:49:27,826 --> 00:49:29,134
How many more do you have?
1016
00:49:29,261 --> 00:49:32,071
You can't just go around blowing
up bathrooms! It's not cool!
1017
00:49:32,164 --> 00:49:33,939
Why can't you be more like
your brother and sister?
1018
00:49:34,032 --> 00:49:36,171
They're at least half crazy.
You're full-on nuts!
1019
00:49:36,835 --> 00:49:39,372
They are not my brother and sister!
They are nothing to me!
1020
00:49:39,471 --> 00:49:41,109
They are not my family!
1021
00:49:41,206 --> 00:49:44,016
She does nothing all day but paint her face
like a puta. She is a puta!
1022
00:49:44,143 --> 00:49:45,144
And this one is
sick in the head!
1023
00:49:45,244 --> 00:49:47,087
He goes to the head
doctor four times a week!
1024
00:49:49,381 --> 00:49:52,191
- Hey! Stop acting crazy, okay?
- He is the crazy one.
1025
00:49:52,317 --> 00:49:54,854
He has this medicine! He loco!
He muy loco.
1026
00:49:54,987 --> 00:49:56,625
- Hey, relax!
- Shut up!
1027
00:49:56,722 --> 00:49:58,929
You shut up with your stupid fanny pack!
I take your fanny pack!
1028
00:49:59,024 --> 00:50:01,265
No! No! No, I need that!
1029
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:04,432
Stop it! I need that!
My pills! No! No!
1030
00:50:04,530 --> 00:50:06,339
What did you do that for?
1031
00:50:06,465 --> 00:50:08,536
- Pull over! Pull over!
- Okay! Okay!
1032
00:50:08,667 --> 00:50:11,477
- Right now! Right now!
- Okay! Okay!
1033
00:50:13,472 --> 00:50:15,452
Slater! Where are you going?
1034
00:50:15,541 --> 00:50:17,316
What the fuck is
your problem, man?
1035
00:50:23,015 --> 00:50:24,221
Slater.
1036
00:50:24,349 --> 00:50:25,851
You're not going to
find it, all right?
1037
00:50:25,984 --> 00:50:29,522
- I need those pills, okay? I need them.
- No, you don't.
1038
00:50:29,655 --> 00:50:31,828
Yes, I do, okay?
I have serious issues.
1039
00:50:31,924 --> 00:50:33,267
You don't have serious issues.
1040
00:50:33,358 --> 00:50:36,396
Yes, I do! Those pills are the
only thing that keep me normal,
1041
00:50:36,495 --> 00:50:37,803
and I need them!
1042
00:50:37,896 --> 00:50:39,466
I can't do this any more.
1043
00:50:39,565 --> 00:50:42,500
Slater, you're gay, all right?
1044
00:50:42,501 --> 00:50:44,208
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1045
00:50:44,303 --> 00:50:46,943
- Nothing. Never mind.
- Take that back!
1046
00:50:47,039 --> 00:50:49,178
Take it back, Noah!
1047
00:50:50,442 --> 00:50:52,115
You're gay. All right?
1048
00:50:52,211 --> 00:50:55,317
You're as queer as a football
bat, and that's fine.
1049
00:50:55,414 --> 00:50:57,587
And if your therapist hasn't
clued you into that by now,
1050
00:50:57,683 --> 00:50:59,594
then you should ask for
your money back, pal.
1051
00:50:59,685 --> 00:51:01,824
You ever think the
reason you're so upset
1052
00:51:01,954 --> 00:51:03,956
your buddy Clayton doesn't
want to hang out any more
1053
00:51:04,056 --> 00:51:06,559
is because you have a lot
of special feelings for him
1054
00:51:06,658 --> 00:51:08,194
that maybe he doesn't feel back?
1055
00:51:08,293 --> 00:51:09,897
It breaks your heart, man.
1056
00:51:09,995 --> 00:51:11,736
And that breaks my heart.
1057
00:51:11,830 --> 00:51:13,605
'Cause I know what
that feels like.
1058
00:51:13,699 --> 00:51:15,406
I feel it all the time.
1059
00:51:15,500 --> 00:51:18,106
I don't want to be gay!
I'm not gay!
1060
00:51:18,537 --> 00:51:19,538
Tough.
1061
00:51:19,638 --> 00:51:21,515
I don't want to be a faggot!
1062
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:24,086
Hey! Do not say shit like that!
Do you understand me?
1063
00:51:24,776 --> 00:51:27,154
This is the worst
night of my life.
1064
00:51:30,282 --> 00:51:32,853
All right, high school
is going to suck.
1065
00:51:32,985 --> 00:51:36,797
Coming out to your parents, it's
not gonna be a picnic, either.
1066
00:51:36,888 --> 00:51:38,834
But trust me when I tell you
1067
00:51:38,924 --> 00:51:41,427
that when you get to
college, nobody will care.
1068
00:51:41,526 --> 00:51:44,029
And then, when you
graduate college,
1069
00:51:44,162 --> 00:51:47,109
you'll get an awesome job in
the entertainment industry.
1070
00:51:47,199 --> 00:51:51,045
You'll be super-organized and dress
really well, you'll smell good.
1071
00:51:51,136 --> 00:51:53,616
Smell good?
What are you talking about, Noah?
1072
00:51:53,705 --> 00:51:55,275
Relax. Listen to me.
1073
00:51:58,143 --> 00:52:00,851
My dad hates me. All right?
1074
00:52:02,180 --> 00:52:04,160
I got kicked out of college.
1075
00:52:06,718 --> 00:52:09,062
Before tonight, this
babysitting thing,
1076
00:52:09,187 --> 00:52:11,463
I've only ever had one job,
and I was a lifeguard.
1077
00:52:11,556 --> 00:52:16,027
I got fired after four days because
I kept falling asleep in the sun.
1078
00:52:16,495 --> 00:52:20,807
I'm a constant disappointment to my mom,
who's the only decent person in my life.
1079
00:52:20,899 --> 00:52:22,845
I've been arrested
numerous times.
1080
00:52:22,934 --> 00:52:25,881
I had a month-long, intense
addiction to Robitussin.
1081
00:52:27,172 --> 00:52:29,209
There's only one freak out here.
1082
00:52:30,075 --> 00:52:31,554
You're looking at him.
1083
00:52:32,544 --> 00:52:35,252
I've never had a gay thought in my
life, so what does that tell you?
1084
00:52:36,515 --> 00:52:38,995
That tells me you're
pretty messed up.
1085
00:52:39,084 --> 00:52:41,496
I have seen Devil Wears
Prada about 19 times,
1086
00:52:41,586 --> 00:52:43,657
but that's because
it's a good movie.
1087
00:52:43,755 --> 00:52:45,666
It's a good flick.
1088
00:52:45,757 --> 00:52:48,897
Devil Wears P. You ever seen it?
D Wears P?
1089
00:52:49,027 --> 00:52:51,439
I think, like, once.
I don't really remember it though.
1090
00:52:52,764 --> 00:52:55,938
Nothing's wrong with you.
You're normal.
1091
00:52:57,536 --> 00:52:59,743
Just super gay.
1092
00:53:02,107 --> 00:53:04,018
You're a dick.
1093
00:53:04,109 --> 00:53:07,522
Yes, that's true.
Enough of the pills, all right?
1094
00:53:09,014 --> 00:53:10,152
Okay.
1095
00:53:11,383 --> 00:53:12,794
You know,
1096
00:53:14,119 --> 00:53:17,259
deep down, I think I
always kind of knew.
1097
00:53:19,725 --> 00:53:22,604
But don't tell
anybody yet, okay?
1098
00:53:22,728 --> 00:53:24,765
I won't. I won't.
1099
00:53:26,231 --> 00:53:28,233
What do you think
I am, an asshole?
1100
00:53:29,301 --> 00:53:30,780
Yeah, sort of.
1101
00:53:30,902 --> 00:53:32,381
Come on, Ricky Martin,
let's get out of here.
1102
00:53:32,471 --> 00:53:34,041
That's an example.
1103
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:37,984
Hey, Slater, are you okay?
1104
00:53:38,110 --> 00:53:39,418
Yeah, I'm okay.
1105
00:53:39,511 --> 00:53:41,889
Hey! That's Mom's car!
1106
00:53:41,980 --> 00:53:42,981
Are you sure?
1107
00:53:44,649 --> 00:53:46,322
All right. Let's go! Let's go!
1108
00:53:46,451 --> 00:53:49,227
Rodrigo's jacket
must be in there!
1109
00:54:19,451 --> 00:54:21,260
This is my kind of club.
1110
00:54:21,353 --> 00:54:23,765
- Let's just go home.
- No.
1111
00:54:23,855 --> 00:54:25,857
All right? I have a half-hour
to get to this party,
1112
00:54:25,957 --> 00:54:29,530
pay off Karl, pick my girlfriend up
off the floor, get you kids home,
1113
00:54:29,628 --> 00:54:32,370
and be home in time for my mom to
tell me how awesome her night was.
1114
00:54:32,464 --> 00:54:36,344
I'm not gonna let some bullshit
car thief fuck this up for me.
1115
00:54:38,136 --> 00:54:39,274
Hey.
1116
00:54:39,371 --> 00:54:41,647
What's happening, my man?
How you doing, man?
1117
00:54:41,740 --> 00:54:44,448
You know, this ain't
no place for no kids.
1118
00:54:44,543 --> 00:54:46,352
These aren't kids, these
are little people.
1119
00:54:46,478 --> 00:54:48,185
This woman's 48 years old.
1120
00:54:48,313 --> 00:54:49,621
Her children have children.
1121
00:54:49,714 --> 00:54:52,388
- Hi. I'm a grandma.
- All right.
1122
00:54:52,517 --> 00:54:54,827
- What's your name, baby?
- They call me Soul, Soul Baby.
1123
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:56,831
Soul Baby?
Keep it in control, baby.
1124
00:54:56,922 --> 00:54:59,095
- I hear you, baby.
- My name's Noah J-Bird.
1125
00:54:59,191 --> 00:55:00,602
Noah J-Bird.
1126
00:55:00,692 --> 00:55:02,365
- Oh, you like to fly.
- I fly, baby.
1127
00:55:02,494 --> 00:55:04,872
- Fly, fly, fly away, baby.
- In the clouds, no frowns.
1128
00:55:04,996 --> 00:55:06,304
All right, now, that's
what I'm talking about.
1129
00:55:06,398 --> 00:55:08,503
- Tears, no fears, man.
- Is that right?
1130
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:09,806
Respect it, don't neglect it.
1131
00:55:09,901 --> 00:55:12,643
All right. That's what I'm
talking about, baby. My brother.
1132
00:55:12,737 --> 00:55:14,341
- Treat it, don't beat it, my man.
- All right, baby.
1133
00:55:14,906 --> 00:55:16,908
You're a badass motherfucker.
1134
00:55:22,781 --> 00:55:24,556
Hey.
1135
00:55:24,683 --> 00:55:27,323
God, man. What's up, white boy?
1136
00:55:27,419 --> 00:55:29,023
I'm here for my minivan.
What's up?
1137
00:55:29,254 --> 00:55:31,632
Get out of here.
1138
00:55:31,723 --> 00:55:34,101
What, are you stalking me now?
You're stealing my car?
1139
00:55:34,192 --> 00:55:36,172
I'm serious. Give me the keys.
1140
00:55:36,261 --> 00:55:39,037
Look, homey, we got beef.
You understand that?
1141
00:55:39,130 --> 00:55:40,336
Just give me the keys.
1142
00:55:40,432 --> 00:55:43,106
Step back, homey!
This ain't where you belong!
1143
00:55:43,201 --> 00:55:45,477
All right, you're going
to listen to me, okay?
1144
00:55:45,570 --> 00:55:48,176
You're right, I threw up in
your grandmother's ashes.
1145
00:55:48,273 --> 00:55:50,480
- Hell, yeah, you did.
- It was an accident.
1146
00:55:50,575 --> 00:55:53,920
- Fucked up.
- I apologize from the bottom of my heart.
1147
00:55:54,045 --> 00:55:56,389
I have been stuck babysitting
these three kids.
1148
00:55:56,515 --> 00:55:58,756
I was talked into buying
cocaine for my girlfriend,
1149
00:55:58,884 --> 00:56:01,125
who I realize is not
even my girlfriend.
1150
00:56:01,253 --> 00:56:05,099
She's just a girl who occasionally
lets me stick my face in her crotch
1151
00:56:05,190 --> 00:56:07,170
- and who's mean to me all the time.
- Okay?
1152
00:56:07,292 --> 00:56:11,331
And this time, making her happy
is probably gonna get me killed.
1153
00:56:11,463 --> 00:56:15,138
You're acting all gangster, stealing
cars, hanging out with thugs.
1154
00:56:15,267 --> 00:56:16,268
Well, you know what?
1155
00:56:16,368 --> 00:56:19,247
A few years ago we went to the
same lame-ass high school.
1156
00:56:19,337 --> 00:56:22,750
The point is, you and I
are two fucked-up kids
1157
00:56:22,841 --> 00:56:24,149
meeting on the playground.
1158
00:56:24,276 --> 00:56:29,282
I came here for my motherfucking
keys to my motherfucking minivan,
1159
00:56:29,381 --> 00:56:30,792
and that's what's up!
1160
00:56:35,020 --> 00:56:36,658
Is that supposed to be
a threat, little man?
1161
00:56:36,788 --> 00:56:37,926
I ain't giving you shit.
1162
00:56:38,023 --> 00:56:39,127
It's not a threat.
1163
00:56:39,224 --> 00:56:41,602
I'm going to put both my
hands behind my back,
1164
00:56:41,693 --> 00:56:44,173
and you get one punch to my
face as hard as you want.
1165
00:56:44,296 --> 00:56:47,505
- I can punch you in the face?
- You deserve to punch me in the face.
1166
00:56:47,632 --> 00:56:49,373
Go on, baby.
Punch him in the face.
1167
00:56:49,501 --> 00:56:51,276
My face is
ready to receive you.
1168
00:56:52,137 --> 00:56:53,775
- Noah, don't!
- What?
1169
00:56:53,939 --> 00:56:56,010
Oh!
1170
00:56:56,308 --> 00:56:57,309
Bitch.
1171
00:56:58,076 --> 00:57:01,023
- Noah!
- I fucking love you right now.
1172
00:57:02,047 --> 00:57:04,459
You killed my babysitter!
1173
00:57:04,549 --> 00:57:05,721
Noah?
1174
00:57:07,118 --> 00:57:08,825
That was bad.
1175
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:10,194
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
1176
00:57:11,489 --> 00:57:13,560
Oh, shit. I'm all right!
1177
00:57:14,826 --> 00:57:16,806
I'm okay!
1178
00:57:16,895 --> 00:57:18,374
I'm okay!
1179
00:57:18,496 --> 00:57:19,873
She won this round, right?
1180
00:57:19,998 --> 00:57:21,375
Oh, shit.
1181
00:57:21,499 --> 00:57:23,979
She punched my face, but it's cool!
It's all good.
1182
00:57:25,837 --> 00:57:27,214
Looks like we're even.
1183
00:57:32,077 --> 00:57:35,058
Guess you ain't the little pussy
you used to be, Noah?
1184
00:57:35,180 --> 00:57:37,660
Nope, I'm a whole
different pussy now.
1185
00:57:37,749 --> 00:57:39,729
All right, boy. Respect.
1186
00:57:41,252 --> 00:57:43,755
Unlock it. What's inside?
1187
00:57:43,888 --> 00:57:45,526
Oh, shit, it's a bomb.
1188
00:57:46,925 --> 00:57:49,235
Hell, yeah. I feel that.
1189
00:57:49,361 --> 00:57:51,898
Let that debris fall
across your face, girl.
1190
00:57:52,464 --> 00:57:53,875
Look here, little homey.
1191
00:57:54,432 --> 00:57:56,002
I like your style, you dig?
1192
00:57:56,101 --> 00:57:57,171
I appreciate that. Thank you.
1193
00:57:57,268 --> 00:57:59,077
You stand up for yours,
and I can respect that.
1194
00:57:59,204 --> 00:58:04,017
If we ever need a crazy-ass white
boy to roll with us one day
1195
00:58:04,109 --> 00:58:08,580
and get punched in the face by
motherfuckers, I'm-a call you.
1196
00:58:08,713 --> 00:58:11,626
- Know what I mean?
- Yeah, man.
1197
00:58:11,750 --> 00:58:15,027
Yo, listen. Listen.
Let me holler at you for a second.
1198
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:16,463
I just wanna let you know,
1199
00:58:16,588 --> 00:58:19,034
I just want to throw a monster
shout-out back at you, my man.
1200
00:58:19,124 --> 00:58:20,899
Monster shout-out
back at me, right?
1201
00:58:20,992 --> 00:58:23,871
I don't understand what the fuck
that is, but it sound good, though.
1202
00:58:23,962 --> 00:58:25,464
- It's all good, baby.
- All right, brother.
1203
00:58:25,597 --> 00:58:27,440
Peace to you.
I fucking love you, dawg.
1204
00:58:29,768 --> 00:58:31,406
Noah, are you all right?
1205
00:58:32,070 --> 00:58:34,209
I feel so cool right now.
1206
00:58:36,307 --> 00:58:37,377
This place is cool.
1207
00:58:37,475 --> 00:58:40,786
I honestly might start DJ-ing here.
I don't know.
1208
00:58:40,912 --> 00:58:41,982
Okay, that's all right,
1209
00:58:42,113 --> 00:58:44,957
but do you really think that this is
an appropriate place to bring kids?
1210
00:58:45,083 --> 00:58:48,462
I don't know. Look, Rodrigo's over
there chatting up some prostitutes.
1211
00:58:48,586 --> 00:58:52,227
You got Slater schooling Bell
Biv DeVoe over there in pool.
1212
00:58:52,323 --> 00:58:55,497
And Blithe's doing the Riverdance
over in the bowling alley.
1213
00:58:55,593 --> 00:58:58,005
Honestly, this is the first time I've
seen them having any kind of fun,
1214
00:58:58,096 --> 00:59:00,303
so what the hell?
1215
00:59:04,869 --> 00:59:06,439
You know what that is?
1216
00:59:06,538 --> 00:59:08,176
What is that?
1217
00:59:08,273 --> 00:59:10,116
Just me being cool.
Playing it cool.
1218
00:59:11,176 --> 00:59:13,019
No big deal.
1219
00:59:13,144 --> 00:59:14,179
You're crazy.
1220
00:59:14,279 --> 00:59:16,384
You're crazy slash beautiful.
Whatever.
1221
00:59:21,853 --> 00:59:24,026
So, did you drive here?
1222
00:59:24,155 --> 00:59:25,498
No, I took a cab.
1223
00:59:25,623 --> 00:59:27,102
Maybe you should
take my dad's car,
1224
00:59:27,192 --> 00:59:29,365
because I can't drive
both of them anyways.
1225
00:59:29,461 --> 00:59:30,997
Are you serious?
1226
00:59:31,096 --> 00:59:33,076
Yeah, it'd actually
really help me out.
1227
00:59:33,164 --> 00:59:34,837
Okay. How are you gonna find me?
1228
00:59:34,933 --> 00:59:36,503
Do you have a phone?
1229
00:59:39,202 --> 00:59:40,704
Okay. See you.
1230
00:59:40,804 --> 00:59:43,284
- Yeah.
- Just kidding.
1231
00:59:43,373 --> 00:59:46,877
Here, this is my phone number,
and then you can call me.
1232
00:59:47,010 --> 00:59:48,717
Okay.
1233
00:59:49,646 --> 00:59:51,353
I'll call you.
1234
00:59:52,182 --> 00:59:53,559
Hey.
1235
00:59:53,684 --> 00:59:57,154
Why did you say something to me when
you saw me earlier? I feel like
1236
00:59:57,254 --> 00:59:59,632
you kind of ignored
me all freshman year.
1237
01:00:01,224 --> 01:00:05,536
I don't know. I thought you
were really funny and smart
1238
01:00:05,662 --> 01:00:07,232
and seemed really sweet.
1239
01:00:08,332 --> 01:00:11,211
I guess I was kind of nervous
to talk to you back then.
1240
01:00:12,569 --> 01:00:14,981
You were nervous to talk to me?
1241
01:00:15,505 --> 01:00:17,041
Yeah.
1242
01:00:19,343 --> 01:00:20,981
My phone's ringing.
1243
01:00:21,912 --> 01:00:24,518
Shit, it's my girlfriend.
I'm sorry. I have to take this.
1244
01:00:24,614 --> 01:00:26,025
- Girlfriend.
- Yeah.
1245
01:00:27,050 --> 01:00:28,085
Hello?
1246
01:00:28,852 --> 01:00:30,854
All right. See you later.
1247
01:00:30,954 --> 01:00:31,932
Call me about the car.
1248
01:00:32,389 --> 01:00:33,834
- Yeah.
- Noah.
1249
01:00:33,924 --> 01:00:35,904
Listen to me.
You need to leave that party right now.
1250
01:00:36,026 --> 01:00:39,064
Noah, this party is breathtaking,
so I'm not gonna leave it.
1251
01:00:39,196 --> 01:00:40,903
Breathtaking?
Marisa, listen to me.
1252
01:00:41,031 --> 01:00:45,207
You need to listen to me.
You have been jerking me around all night.
1253
01:00:45,302 --> 01:00:48,749
And you wanna know what?
It's disrespectful and it's lame.
1254
01:00:48,872 --> 01:00:51,352
Just, if Karl and Julio show
up, stay away from them.
1255
01:00:51,441 --> 01:00:52,442
They're dangerous.
1256
01:00:52,542 --> 01:00:54,351
They're not dangerous.
You're being an idiot.
1257
01:00:54,444 --> 01:00:57,118
I'm very close.
I'm coming for you, Marisa, okay?
1258
01:00:57,247 --> 01:00:58,419
Oka y.
1259
01:01:01,284 --> 01:01:03,059
Oh, shit.
1260
01:01:06,590 --> 01:01:08,467
I can't decide if
this is funny or not.
1261
01:01:08,558 --> 01:01:10,333
It's not funny at all.
1262
01:01:10,460 --> 01:01:11,837
How you doing tonight, my man?
1263
01:01:12,262 --> 01:01:13,798
Do you have any idea
why I stopped you?
1264
01:01:13,930 --> 01:01:15,273
- No.
- You ran a red light
1265
01:01:15,365 --> 01:01:17,140
and you're not wearing
your seat belt.
1266
01:01:17,234 --> 01:01:19,646
All right, why don't you
step out of the car, pal?
1267
01:01:20,504 --> 01:01:21,642
Do me a favor.
Put your hands on the trunk.
1268
01:01:21,738 --> 01:01:22,978
Easy, cowboy.
1269
01:01:23,073 --> 01:01:24,211
What's this?
1270
01:01:24,307 --> 01:01:26,981
- It's a luchador action figure.
- Luchadors, I love these guys.
1271
01:01:27,110 --> 01:01:28,316
Look at this.
1272
01:01:28,412 --> 01:01:29,948
Frank, what's in there?
1273
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:31,852
What's this, my man?
1274
01:01:33,016 --> 01:01:34,086
You got a little party
in your pocket?
1275
01:01:34,184 --> 01:01:38,098
It's not mine, I swear to God.
I'm just holding it for my girlfriend.
1276
01:01:38,188 --> 01:01:40,327
- I'm just holding it for her.
- You're going out with a cokehead?
1277
01:01:40,424 --> 01:01:42,404
Bag of fucking actual
diamonds here.
1278
01:01:42,492 --> 01:01:45,666
Oh. Okay. Jacob the Jeweler.
You're tits in a ditch, my man.
1279
01:01:45,796 --> 01:01:47,673
- Tits in a ditch.
- Is that good?
1280
01:01:47,798 --> 01:01:50,074
Sometimes it's good.
Sometimes it's real bad.
1281
01:01:50,167 --> 01:01:53,080
What is that? Oh, no shit!
1282
01:01:53,170 --> 01:01:54,843
- Is that you?
- That's the fucking bathroom guy!
1283
01:01:54,971 --> 01:01:56,882
- Mr. Toilet Explosion?
- That's not me.
1284
01:01:56,973 --> 01:02:00,785
I've never actually been the guy on duty
to catch the fucking guy in the sketch.
1285
01:02:00,877 --> 01:02:02,185
What are they doing to him?
1286
01:02:02,279 --> 01:02:04,156
- Do me a favor. You got this?
- Yeah.
1287
01:02:07,184 --> 01:02:09,027
- You got it?
- Yeah. I like that.
1288
01:02:09,152 --> 01:02:10,961
- That's one for your wallet.
- Check it out! Check it out!
1289
01:02:11,054 --> 01:02:12,294
- It's great.
- All right, sir, do me a favor,
1290
01:02:12,389 --> 01:02:13,424
go stand by your vehicle.
1291
01:02:13,523 --> 01:02:15,298
We're going to run your profile.
All right?
1292
01:02:15,392 --> 01:02:17,998
This is mine.
I'm gonna take responsibility...
1293
01:02:18,128 --> 01:02:20,768
Sir! Go stand by your vehicle.
Please.
1294
01:02:23,700 --> 01:02:25,304
Hey, so here's the deal.
1295
01:02:25,402 --> 01:02:27,109
I think I'm about
to get arrested.
1296
01:02:27,204 --> 01:02:29,707
I messed up and I put
your lives in danger.
1297
01:02:29,807 --> 01:02:30,785
You's got the diamonds?
1298
01:02:30,874 --> 01:02:31,909
Things just got out
of hand so quickly...
1299
01:02:33,077 --> 01:02:35,318
- Let's party!
- ...and I'm really, really sorry.
1300
01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:38,188
Are they leaving?
1301
01:02:38,315 --> 01:02:40,454
Hey! What are you doing? Stop!
1302
01:02:40,551 --> 01:02:42,724
Please! I need those diamonds!
Come back!
1303
01:02:42,853 --> 01:02:44,730
Damn it!
1304
01:03:04,741 --> 01:03:07,153
All right, I'm going to
go find my girlfriend.
1305
01:03:07,244 --> 01:03:08,985
Marisa!
1306
01:03:10,747 --> 01:03:12,055
Marisa!
1307
01:03:14,785 --> 01:03:16,560
Stephanie, have you seen Marisa?
1308
01:03:16,653 --> 01:03:19,566
I don't know, it's my birthday!
1309
01:03:19,656 --> 01:03:20,760
Why are you upside down?
1310
01:03:20,858 --> 01:03:23,429
- Why aren't you upside down?
- Okay.
1311
01:03:23,527 --> 01:03:24,562
Take care of yourself.
1312
01:03:24,661 --> 01:03:26,641
You're not invited any more.
1313
01:03:28,665 --> 01:03:30,076
G-Bert, sorry to interrupt, man.
1314
01:03:30,701 --> 01:03:32,044
What's up, Noah?
1315
01:03:32,136 --> 01:03:33,547
Have you seen Marisa?
1316
01:03:33,637 --> 01:03:34,945
- Who's Marisa?
- She's my girlfriend.
1317
01:03:35,038 --> 01:03:36,449
She's like my height,
blonde hair.
1318
01:03:37,641 --> 01:03:39,245
- No, sorry.
- No.
1319
01:03:39,343 --> 01:03:41,619
If I find her, we should all
hang out next week or something.
1320
01:03:41,712 --> 01:03:42,747
Totally, yeah.
1321
01:03:42,846 --> 01:03:43,950
Yeah, great.
You have great breasts. Thanks.
1322
01:03:44,047 --> 01:03:45,253
- Thank you.
- Later, Noah.
1323
01:03:48,919 --> 01:03:50,592
- What are you doing?
- Fuck you.
1324
01:03:52,089 --> 01:03:54,160
Why are you such an
asshole, Rodrigo?
1325
01:03:55,792 --> 01:03:59,535
Ever since you moved in with us,
you've been so mean to everybody!
1326
01:03:59,630 --> 01:04:01,906
- What's wrong with you?
- You want to know what's wrong with me?
1327
01:04:03,699 --> 01:04:04,973
This is my third
family in three years.
1328
01:04:05,100 --> 01:04:08,047
When your papas get tired with me,
they give me to another families.
1329
01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:09,410
That happens every time.
1330
01:04:09,504 --> 01:04:12,485
Well, maybe if you didn't
do such messed-up stuff
1331
01:04:12,607 --> 01:04:15,816
then they would actually feel
like you wanted to be here.
1332
01:04:15,944 --> 01:04:19,255
You don't know me. You look at me
like a crazy that live in your house.
1333
01:04:19,347 --> 01:04:21,827
That's not true.
You never talk to us.
1334
01:04:21,950 --> 01:04:25,124
Honestly, you're
pretty scary, man.
1335
01:04:26,855 --> 01:04:29,597
I no scary.
I just like having fun.
1336
01:04:29,758 --> 01:04:31,533
Boom, boom, boom. Kaboom.
1337
01:04:31,626 --> 01:04:33,936
Hey, guys, I can't find Marisa anywhere.
Let's go.
1338
01:04:34,229 --> 01:04:35,708
Come on. Where's Blithe?
1339
01:04:38,467 --> 01:04:40,276
Blithe, get down from there.
We have to go.
1340
01:04:40,368 --> 01:04:42,439
These are my friends!
Come on, we're having fun.
1341
01:04:42,537 --> 01:04:43,743
No. They're not your friends.
1342
01:04:43,839 --> 01:04:45,716
They're drunk and they're
making fun of you, okay?
1343
01:04:45,807 --> 01:04:47,718
- You need to get down here right now.
- What are you doing?
1344
01:04:47,809 --> 01:04:50,449
- Listen, they're drunk. Let's go.
- Come up here!
1345
01:04:50,545 --> 01:04:52,786
- They just want to dance with me!
- They don't want to dance...
1346
01:04:52,881 --> 01:04:54,656
Oh! You're here!
1347
01:04:54,750 --> 01:04:57,731
Where have you been?
This has been the best night ever.
1348
01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:00,495
- Are those kids?
- Yeah. They're with me.
1349
01:05:00,622 --> 01:05:01,930
I'll explain.
We need to get out of here right now.
1350
01:05:02,023 --> 01:05:03,798
Did you get the party favors?
1351
01:05:03,892 --> 01:05:07,533
I had them and now I don't. I'll explain.
We need to get out of here right now.
1352
01:05:07,629 --> 01:05:09,575
I'm serious. It's Ricky.
1353
01:05:09,664 --> 01:05:10,699
We don't have time for this.
1354
01:05:10,799 --> 01:05:12,608
That is Ricky Fontaine.
He is my ex-boyfriend.
1355
01:05:12,701 --> 01:05:14,305
I obviously have to go say hi.
1356
01:05:14,402 --> 01:05:16,712
- Ricky!
- You're drunk, Marisa.
1357
01:05:17,139 --> 01:05:19,642
- Hey.
- Marisa.
1358
01:05:19,741 --> 01:05:21,015
What's up? How are you?
1359
01:05:21,109 --> 01:05:24,249
You haven't responded to any of my
texts in, like, a really long time.
1360
01:05:24,346 --> 01:05:26,326
Yeah. There's a reason for that.
1361
01:05:26,414 --> 01:05:30,328
Marisa, I'm sorry.
I don't know how else I can say it.
1362
01:05:30,418 --> 01:05:33,160
We had a great run,
but it's over now,
1363
01:05:33,255 --> 01:05:35,565
and I wish you the best
and I pray for you, I do.
1364
01:05:36,057 --> 01:05:37,434
Is everything okay?
1365
01:05:37,926 --> 01:05:41,237
Actually, no.
Ricky's being kind of a dick.
1366
01:05:41,363 --> 01:05:43,502
- Why don't you defend me, Noah?
- What?
1367
01:05:43,598 --> 01:05:45,544
Yeah. You're being a real dick!
1368
01:05:45,634 --> 01:05:47,238
Defend me! You're being mean!
1369
01:05:47,369 --> 01:05:49,542
What are you talking about?
I've been nothing but cool to you, man.
1370
01:05:49,638 --> 01:05:51,117
Okay. She's drunk.
1371
01:05:51,239 --> 01:05:53,845
There's a misunderstanding happening.
Why don't we all just relax?
1372
01:05:55,243 --> 01:05:57,086
No offense, bro,
but who are you?
1373
01:05:57,212 --> 01:05:59,886
- I'm Noah. We're dating.
- He's my friend.
1374
01:05:59,981 --> 01:06:01,756
We're in a relationship, okay?
1375
01:06:01,883 --> 01:06:03,885
Friendship relationship.
1376
01:06:03,985 --> 01:06:05,055
Well, good luck with that, bro,
1377
01:06:05,153 --> 01:06:07,292
'cause dealing with her is
a pretty big nightmare.
1378
01:06:07,389 --> 01:06:08,868
I don't envy you.
1379
01:06:08,957 --> 01:06:11,904
That is a terrible thing
to say to somebody!
1380
01:06:12,561 --> 01:06:13,562
What?
1381
01:06:13,662 --> 01:06:17,109
Look, you hurt her feelings.
Okay? Just be nice.
1382
01:06:17,232 --> 01:06:19,109
What are you going
to do about it, bro?
1383
01:06:19,935 --> 01:06:21,312
What?
1384
01:06:24,339 --> 01:06:25,374
What the hell was that?
1385
01:06:25,473 --> 01:06:28,943
A throat jab? I don't know.
I don't street-fight very often.
1386
01:06:31,012 --> 01:06:32,423
Shit!
1387
01:06:32,981 --> 01:06:34,756
I broke my ass!
1388
01:06:34,850 --> 01:06:37,296
You just got Fontained!
1389
01:06:37,986 --> 01:06:39,294
Are you okay, Noah?
1390
01:06:39,421 --> 01:06:40,798
Yeah.
1391
01:06:40,922 --> 01:06:43,732
Get out of here. I got it.
I got this guy.
1392
01:06:43,825 --> 01:06:45,566
Right here. Right here.
1393
01:06:48,430 --> 01:06:49,841
Noah!
1394
01:06:49,931 --> 01:06:51,672
Oh, that's bad! Oh, my back!
1395
01:06:51,766 --> 01:06:52,836
What do we do?
1396
01:06:52,934 --> 01:06:54,914
Rodrigo! Flying Burrito!
1397
01:06:58,173 --> 01:07:00,016
Jesus! My ear!
1398
01:07:00,141 --> 01:07:01,677
Did I get him good?
1399
01:07:01,810 --> 01:07:03,448
Get off!
1400
01:07:03,545 --> 01:07:04,580
Hey. Ricky!
1401
01:07:08,149 --> 01:07:09,890
Double punch to the nut sack!
1402
01:07:11,686 --> 01:07:13,666
Come on, Blithe!
We gotta get out of here!
1403
01:07:15,056 --> 01:07:16,626
- Ricky? Are you okay?
- Listen, we gotta go right now.
1404
01:07:16,725 --> 01:07:18,295
Where's the party?
I love parties.
1405
01:07:18,393 --> 01:07:20,373
- Oh, shit! We gotta go right now!
- Hey, what's up, party animal?
1406
01:07:20,462 --> 01:07:21,907
How you doing? Hey, man...
1407
01:07:23,131 --> 01:07:24,303
Karl!
1408
01:07:28,670 --> 01:07:30,047
Come on, come on.
1409
01:07:30,138 --> 01:07:32,049
Who wants to party?
1410
01:07:32,507 --> 01:07:35,351
Anybody want to party?
Let's party!
1411
01:07:36,978 --> 01:07:39,515
Back it up! Back it up!
1412
01:07:40,649 --> 01:07:41,889
What's up?
1413
01:07:41,983 --> 01:07:43,985
- Nobody wanna dance with me!
- Let's party!
1414
01:07:47,722 --> 01:07:50,225
Come on, you got it.
Let's go. You got it.
1415
01:07:50,325 --> 01:07:51,702
I can't believe you're
making me do this.
1416
01:07:53,561 --> 01:07:55,404
- Where are the kids?
- Who cares? Let's just go.
1417
01:07:55,497 --> 01:07:58,205
Please, I just want to go home with you.
I just want to get out of here.
1418
01:07:58,333 --> 01:08:00,643
What are you talking about?
They're my responsibility.
1419
01:08:00,735 --> 01:08:02,840
Who cares?
I just want to get out of here!
1420
01:08:02,938 --> 01:08:04,349
I care.
1421
01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:08,380
- Hi.
- What the fuck? Hey, come on.
1422
01:08:08,510 --> 01:08:10,148
Come here!
1423
01:08:10,245 --> 01:08:12,521
Go, go, go, go, go! Move!
1424
01:08:12,614 --> 01:08:15,424
- How'd you learn to hot-wire a car?
- I know many things.
1425
01:08:15,550 --> 01:08:17,188
What is with all these kids?
1426
01:08:20,555 --> 01:08:22,228
What is that?
1427
01:08:22,357 --> 01:08:23,734
It's Karl's gang.
1428
01:08:24,926 --> 01:08:27,167
Go! They gonna kill us!
1429
01:08:27,262 --> 01:08:28,639
Oh, my God!
1430
01:08:28,730 --> 01:08:30,209
Oh. My God!
1431
01:08:31,599 --> 01:08:32,942
Get off the car!
1432
01:08:33,068 --> 01:08:35,674
Oh, my God!
Is that a man or a woman?
1433
01:08:35,770 --> 01:08:37,511
- Go, Noah!
- Fucking drive, Noah!
1434
01:08:37,605 --> 01:08:39,209
Push the gas!
1435
01:08:50,318 --> 01:08:51,592
What the hell is going on?
1436
01:08:51,720 --> 01:08:54,132
Next time, you use a bazooka
instead of a sledgehammer.
1437
01:08:54,255 --> 01:08:55,529
What are you, El DeBarge?
1438
01:08:55,623 --> 01:08:57,569
Let's go, come on, Jeremy!
1439
01:08:57,692 --> 01:08:59,171
- What the hell is this?
- Get out of the way!
1440
01:09:00,362 --> 01:09:03,206
Is there anyone in this car who can
tell me what the hell is going on here?
1441
01:09:03,298 --> 01:09:04,470
Noah, they're coming!
1442
01:09:04,566 --> 01:09:06,204
Gonna kill yo
ass, Noah Griffith!
1443
01:09:06,301 --> 01:09:09,282
- Coming to get you! Catch up!
- Fucking die! You die!
1444
01:09:09,404 --> 01:09:10,974
All right, kids, fasten
your seat belts!
1445
01:09:17,412 --> 01:09:18,413
They're going to kill us!
1446
01:09:22,617 --> 01:09:23,652
Watch this. Watch this.
1447
01:09:26,421 --> 01:09:27,491
Ls everyone okay?
1448
01:09:27,622 --> 01:09:29,101
I'm scared, Noah!
1449
01:09:29,190 --> 01:09:30,931
Noah, stall them!
I have an idea!
1450
01:09:31,026 --> 01:09:32,437
Roll down the window!
1451
01:09:32,527 --> 01:09:35,474
I have your money!
I just want to be your friend!
1452
01:09:35,597 --> 01:09:38,806
Are you serious? You've been really
wishy-washy about the whole thing.
1453
01:09:38,933 --> 01:09:41,140
No, I know! I've been going through
my own personal situation!
1454
01:09:41,269 --> 01:09:43,681
It's really scary entering
into a new friendship!
1455
01:09:43,805 --> 01:09:45,512
I just don't want to deal
with a broken heart.
1456
01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:47,847
Maybe I don't want to befriends!
How's that?
1457
01:09:47,976 --> 01:09:50,286
He really wants to be
your friend, Karl!
1458
01:09:50,378 --> 01:09:52,517
It's just I've been
burned in the past, bud!
1459
01:09:52,647 --> 01:09:54,490
Seriously? Kaboom!
1460
01:09:54,616 --> 01:09:55,651
Oh, shit!
1461
01:09:59,654 --> 01:10:01,327
Shit! Hold the wheel straight!
1462
01:10:02,957 --> 01:10:04,265
Wait, wait!
1463
01:10:04,926 --> 01:10:06,098
Oh, shit!
1464
01:10:08,696 --> 01:10:10,676
Yes! Nice!
1465
01:10:11,633 --> 01:10:13,613
Shit!
1466
01:10:19,307 --> 01:10:20,308
Are you guys okay?
1467
01:10:20,408 --> 01:10:22,854
No. I'm not okay.
We just crashed the car.
1468
01:10:23,044 --> 01:10:24,523
What just happened?
1469
01:10:24,646 --> 01:10:26,785
Wait, so did you get the coke?
1470
01:10:27,382 --> 01:10:29,885
Kids, kids, kids. I love kids.
1471
01:10:30,018 --> 01:10:31,520
How you doing, Noah Griffith?
1472
01:10:31,653 --> 01:10:33,496
Hey, Karl, why you got
to be so crazy, man?
1473
01:10:33,588 --> 01:10:34,794
Hey, man, I'm crazy.
1474
01:10:34,889 --> 01:10:36,061
That's a gun.
1475
01:10:36,157 --> 01:10:38,535
Marisa, why don't you do me a favor?
Take these kids and go home.
1476
01:10:38,626 --> 01:10:40,970
I'm going to have an adult
conversation with the babysitter.
1477
01:10:41,062 --> 01:10:43,508
Look, I know you guys want to
stay with me, it's your instinct,
1478
01:10:43,598 --> 01:10:47,341
but you have to
fend for yourself.
1479
01:10:49,571 --> 01:10:51,517
Oh, you're all alone now?
1480
01:10:53,108 --> 01:10:54,246
Hurts, don't it?
1481
01:10:54,342 --> 01:10:56,754
Yeah.
I got a little boo-boo myself.
1482
01:11:00,582 --> 01:11:02,357
- You're mean!
- Noah Griffith!
1483
01:11:05,920 --> 01:11:08,901
You got mud in my
gun, Noah Griffith!
1484
01:11:09,023 --> 01:11:11,765
My 11th best friend
gave me this gun!
1485
01:11:12,427 --> 01:11:14,373
Marisa, wait! Did you hear that?
1486
01:11:15,763 --> 01:11:17,709
No, I didn't hear anything.
1487
01:11:17,799 --> 01:11:19,836
It's your very childlike
and vivid imagination.
1488
01:11:19,934 --> 01:11:22,175
- Noah might be hurt!
- That's a pistols.
1489
01:11:22,270 --> 01:11:23,408
What if he needs us?
1490
01:11:23,538 --> 01:11:26,280
He's not in trouble.
He's hugging it out with Karl in the minivan.
1491
01:11:40,755 --> 01:11:44,828
I just need to get out of here.
Thanks to you guys, my night is ruined!
1492
01:11:44,926 --> 01:11:47,566
I was having a really fun night
before you showed up! Taxi!
1493
01:11:47,662 --> 01:11:49,073
We were supposed to
have a fun night, too!
1494
01:11:49,164 --> 01:11:51,667
You are the reason that we
are even in this situation!
1495
01:11:51,766 --> 01:11:54,474
Okay, fine!
I'm a terrible person.
1496
01:11:54,569 --> 01:11:56,981
Okay? I admit it, I could be a
lot better in this situation,
1497
01:11:57,071 --> 01:12:00,280
but I'm just feeling really overwhelmed.
I don't know what's going on.
1498
01:12:00,375 --> 01:12:03,356
I'm stuck with these three
kids and I hate kids,
1499
01:12:03,444 --> 01:12:05,253
and I just don't
know what to do!
1500
01:12:05,346 --> 01:12:07,622
Marisa? Stop being such a spaz.
1501
01:12:07,749 --> 01:12:10,059
Give me your phone.
I've got an idea.
1502
01:12:10,151 --> 01:12:11,721
Noah Griffith!
1503
01:12:11,819 --> 01:12:14,823
Yes! Where you at, babycakes?
1504
01:12:15,657 --> 01:12:17,227
Where you at?
1505
01:12:17,659 --> 01:12:19,570
I see you, Noah Griffith.
1506
01:12:20,828 --> 01:12:22,000
Yes!
1507
01:12:24,032 --> 01:12:25,409
Noah Griffith?
1508
01:12:26,334 --> 01:12:28,109
Good game!
1509
01:12:28,436 --> 01:12:32,942
You passed the test!
Passed the prank! Passed the car chase.
1510
01:12:33,041 --> 01:12:34,520
You're in the club, player!
1511
01:12:35,510 --> 01:12:37,649
Surprise!
1512
01:12:37,779 --> 01:12:40,658
- Stay back! Back up!
- Okay. Chill out.
1513
01:12:40,782 --> 01:12:43,262
Listen to me.
I don't have your money.
1514
01:12:43,351 --> 01:12:46,264
And I'm going to stop risking
my life to get it for you.
1515
01:12:46,354 --> 01:12:50,200
Rodrigo took an egg from your house.
It exploded, it's gone, I'm sorry.
1516
01:12:50,325 --> 01:12:51,963
What do you think
this is, a game?
1517
01:12:52,060 --> 01:12:54,939
You don't fuck with a drug dealer.
Are you out of your mind?
1518
01:12:55,029 --> 01:12:56,770
You owe me money!
1519
01:12:56,864 --> 01:12:58,537
I got a call from a little lady
1520
01:12:58,666 --> 01:13:01,010
said there was some trouble
brewing in the park tonight.
1521
01:13:01,135 --> 01:13:02,273
Lookit here.
1522
01:13:02,370 --> 01:13:03,974
Oh, shit.
1523
01:13:04,072 --> 01:13:06,712
What's going down on the playground?
What up, Noah?
1524
01:13:06,841 --> 01:13:08,218
What are you guys doing here?
1525
01:13:08,343 --> 01:13:11,449
Told you, we'd be around.
What y'all up to?
1526
01:13:11,546 --> 01:13:13,685
This guy, he's crazy.
He's trying to kill me!
1527
01:13:13,815 --> 01:13:15,226
He's trying to kill the
kids I'm babysitting.
1528
01:13:15,350 --> 01:13:16,852
He's nuts! He's out of his mind.
1529
01:13:16,985 --> 01:13:18,521
- Who? This stinky bitch?
- Yes.
1530
01:13:18,653 --> 01:13:22,157
Let me find out you out here
trying to punk on our boy Noah?
1531
01:13:22,257 --> 01:13:25,864
Fuck is wrong with you?
You don't know who you're messing with.
1532
01:13:25,994 --> 01:13:29,407
- He's one misunderstood motherfucker.
- Sure you right.
1533
01:13:29,530 --> 01:13:31,532
But I got your back now, Noah.
1534
01:13:31,666 --> 01:13:34,340
'Cause I found out you got
some big-ass balls, man.
1535
01:13:34,802 --> 01:13:36,941
Can't buy underwear.
Balls don't fit.
1536
01:13:37,038 --> 01:13:39,143
You done messed with
the wrong babysitter.
1537
01:13:39,240 --> 01:13:41,720
You so sexy when
you talk gangsta.
1538
01:13:42,410 --> 01:13:43,980
Look here, Noah.
1539
01:13:44,078 --> 01:13:46,217
Why don't you take
them little kids home?
1540
01:13:46,347 --> 01:13:48,554
We gonna handle this
situation here.
1541
01:13:48,683 --> 01:13:52,426
Thank you, guys, so much.
Soul Baby, text you.
1542
01:13:52,553 --> 01:13:54,464
Make love to the
night, motherfucker.
1543
01:13:54,555 --> 01:13:57,866
Noah Griffith! Where are you going?
I'm not done with you!
1544
01:13:58,760 --> 01:14:01,172
You think your friends are
gonna bail you out of this?
1545
01:14:01,262 --> 01:14:03,765
Listen, I'm in a real bad mood.
I don't want to hurt you motherfuckers.
1546
01:14:03,898 --> 01:14:05,206
What's up, candy man?
1547
01:14:05,300 --> 01:14:06,836
We're gonna get up in it, boy.
1548
01:14:06,934 --> 01:14:09,437
Put a quarter in my butt.
Let's get this fight farted. Let's go.
1549
01:14:12,774 --> 01:14:14,117
Motherfuckers!
1550
01:14:15,443 --> 01:14:16,683
My nuts!
1551
01:14:22,450 --> 01:14:23,929
Taxi!
1552
01:14:26,321 --> 01:14:27,629
I need a cab, man!
1553
01:14:27,722 --> 01:14:31,397
- Hey, man, your nuts are on fire!
- I know my nuts are on fire!
1554
01:14:32,560 --> 01:14:33,971
That's how your mama like it!
1555
01:14:34,495 --> 01:14:35,803
- Noah!
- Are you okay?
1556
01:14:35,897 --> 01:14:37,843
Yeah, it's too crazy to explain.
We gotta go!
1557
01:14:37,932 --> 01:14:40,139
- What happened?
- Was that a real gun?
1558
01:14:44,706 --> 01:14:47,619
Let me tell you about my day.
1559
01:14:47,709 --> 01:14:50,280
It's such a very long day.
1560
01:14:50,378 --> 01:14:52,949
It started around 7:00.
1561
01:14:53,047 --> 01:14:55,186
And I can hear her pray.
1562
01:14:55,316 --> 01:14:58,695
As I walk through the yard.
1563
01:14:58,820 --> 01:15:00,959
I could feel your presence.
1564
01:15:01,055 --> 01:15:03,399
Giving me the time of my life.
1565
01:15:03,524 --> 01:15:05,504
And showering me
with life lessons.
1566
01:15:05,593 --> 01:15:08,005
Now {know what they mean.
1567
01:15:08,096 --> 01:15:11,043
When they said keep
your head to the sky.
1568
01:15:11,165 --> 01:15:13,372
Don't be too quick to fit in.
1569
01:15:13,501 --> 01:15:15,913
And don't feel you have to try.
1570
01:15:16,037 --> 01:15:19,849
This road is strange,
so strange it is.
1571
01:15:20,908 --> 01:15:23,149
You know it really hurts inside.
1572
01:15:23,244 --> 01:15:25,053
Yeah, sometimes.
1573
01:15:30,017 --> 01:15:31,428
We're here.
1574
01:15:32,854 --> 01:15:34,424
We're here.
1575
01:15:37,859 --> 01:15:40,237
You must think I'm such a bitch.
1576
01:15:42,697 --> 01:15:45,837
You shouldn't waste your feelings
on people who don't value them.
1577
01:15:49,003 --> 01:15:50,209
You're right.
1578
01:15:50,338 --> 01:15:52,545
- I haven't been cool to you.
- I know.
1579
01:15:52,673 --> 01:15:55,711
You haven't.
And I'm over it, too.
1580
01:16:00,314 --> 01:16:01,816
Take care of yourself, Marisa.
All right?
1581
01:16:13,561 --> 01:16:15,905
Your girlfriend sucks.
1582
01:16:16,030 --> 01:16:17,566
Yes, she does.
1583
01:16:17,698 --> 01:16:20,008
Indeed she does.
1584
01:16:21,002 --> 01:16:22,481
Blithe, I want to
show you something.
1585
01:16:23,671 --> 01:16:25,514
Just because you try and
look more grown up,
1586
01:16:25,606 --> 01:16:30,555
or try and act like a celebrity,
or a famous person or whatever,
1587
01:16:30,678 --> 01:16:32,419
it's not gonna get
you more friends.
1588
01:16:33,080 --> 01:16:34,525
You're a kid.
1589
01:16:34,615 --> 01:16:36,253
And a pretty great one.
1590
01:16:40,855 --> 01:16:43,563
Wipe that shit off your face.
You look insane, okay?
1591
01:16:43,691 --> 01:16:44,863
Okay.
1592
01:16:49,030 --> 01:16:51,237
You know what "blithe" means?
1593
01:16:51,365 --> 01:16:53,174
What?
1594
01:16:53,267 --> 01:16:54,871
It means "joyous."
1595
01:17:00,908 --> 01:17:03,184
You know what "late" means?
1596
01:17:03,744 --> 01:17:04,916
- What?
- "Late,"
1597
01:17:05,046 --> 01:17:07,617
as in fucked, as in we were all
supposed to be in bed by 1:00
1598
01:17:07,748 --> 01:17:08,954
and it's already 10 after.
1599
01:17:09,083 --> 01:17:10,528
Son of a bitch!
1600
01:17:13,955 --> 01:17:16,959
All right, looks like we beat them home.
Let's go inside. Hustle.
1601
01:17:37,011 --> 01:17:38,319
Rodrigo!
1602
01:17:43,484 --> 01:17:44,792
Rodrigo!
1603
01:17:45,820 --> 01:17:47,299
HEY! YOU guys see Rodrigo?
1604
01:17:47,421 --> 01:17:48,900
Hula, Rodrigo!
1605
01:17:48,990 --> 01:17:51,300
Rodrigo! Rodrigo!
1606
01:17:52,760 --> 01:17:54,239
Weird.
1607
01:17:54,328 --> 01:17:56,239
That's the most messed up
thing we've seen all night.
1608
01:18:03,371 --> 01:18:04,611
Noah, they're here!
1609
01:18:05,006 --> 01:18:06,781
Okay! Everyone on the couch!
Let's go.
1610
01:18:06,874 --> 01:18:08,410
Let's go! Get on the couch.
Come on!
1611
01:18:10,845 --> 01:18:12,586
The MMA world is abuzz tonight
1612
01:18:12,680 --> 01:18:15,024
with the news of a brutal
out-of-the-ring assault
1613
01:18:15,116 --> 01:18:18,928
an local hero and pro kickboxing
legend Ricky Fantaine.
1614
01:18:19,020 --> 01:18:22,331
Witnesses at the Brooklyn house
party where the assault took place
1615
01:18:22,456 --> 01:18:27,269
described his attacker as a young man,
accompanied by three small children.
1616
01:18:27,361 --> 01:18:28,840
- Oh, my God.
- In another story,
1617
01:18:28,963 --> 01:18:32,103
two small New York businesses experienced
bizarre bathroom explosions.
1618
01:18:32,199 --> 01:18:34,304
- Hello.
- Hey, guys!
1619
01:18:34,402 --> 01:18:35,437
Hi. What?
1620
01:18:35,536 --> 01:18:37,743
Hey! Welcome back!
1621
01:18:38,673 --> 01:18:40,448
What's going on?
It's after 1:00 in the morning.
1622
01:18:40,541 --> 01:18:42,521
These kids should be
in bed already, Noah.
1623
01:18:42,610 --> 01:18:46,615
- Mom, it's not his fault.
- Yeah. We told him our bedtime was 1:30.
1624
01:18:46,714 --> 01:18:50,389
I turned the clock back. So sorry.
My deepest apologies.
1625
01:18:51,018 --> 01:18:52,224
You darn kids!
1626
01:18:52,320 --> 01:18:54,231
Played a trick on me,
these little rascals.
1627
01:18:54,355 --> 01:18:55,561
I'm not buying it.
1628
01:18:55,690 --> 01:18:58,330
Everybody, upstairs. Bed! Now.
1629
01:18:58,426 --> 01:19:00,531
- Go brush your teeth.
- Sorry, Mom.
1630
01:19:00,661 --> 01:19:02,572
And say good night to Noah.
1631
01:19:02,697 --> 01:19:05,007
Maybe he'll be nice enough to
come back and babysit again.
1632
01:19:05,099 --> 01:19:06,476
Night, Noah.
1633
01:19:06,567 --> 01:19:07,637
Night, guys.
1634
01:19:07,735 --> 01:19:09,180
And Peter has your money, okay?
1635
01:19:09,270 --> 01:19:10,408
Cool, thanks.
1636
01:19:10,538 --> 01:19:11,642
Oh, Noah!
1637
01:19:11,739 --> 01:19:14,151
Your mom told me to tell you
not to wait up for her.
1638
01:19:14,241 --> 01:19:17,415
She and that guy that I set her up with,
Dr. Stevens, went out to have a nightcap.
1639
01:19:17,511 --> 01:19:20,685
Let me tell you, I think she
was having a really good time.
1640
01:19:20,781 --> 01:19:22,055
Thanks for hooking that up.
1641
01:19:22,183 --> 01:19:24,424
- Thanks for babysitting.
- See you next time.
1642
01:19:27,521 --> 01:19:29,694
I trust the kids weren't
too much trouble.
1643
01:19:29,790 --> 01:19:31,497
You got three great ones.
1644
01:19:31,592 --> 01:19:33,003
Hey...
1645
01:19:33,094 --> 01:19:34,539
You want a recommendation?
1646
01:19:34,629 --> 01:19:36,199
Here's my advice.
1647
01:19:37,565 --> 01:19:39,101
Get your shit together.
1648
01:19:40,434 --> 01:19:42,004
You're right.
1649
01:19:42,103 --> 01:19:44,743
Maybe I do have some
stuff I need to work on.
1650
01:19:44,872 --> 01:19:49,014
But the last person on Earth I need
to take advice from is you, sir.
1651
01:19:49,110 --> 01:19:50,851
Excuse me?
1652
01:19:51,278 --> 01:19:54,623
You're banging your assistant,
Debra, and you're going to stop.
1653
01:19:54,715 --> 01:19:55,887
Do you understand me?
1654
01:19:55,983 --> 01:19:58,793
I would be very careful
how you talk to me.
1655
01:19:58,919 --> 01:20:01,399
You'd better be very careful
how you talk to me.
1656
01:20:01,489 --> 01:20:04,197
Because I'm going to be at
home with nothing going on.
1657
01:20:04,291 --> 01:20:06,635
And I'm going to have one eye
on my three friends up there
1658
01:20:06,761 --> 01:20:10,573
and the other eye right on you.
1659
01:20:10,665 --> 01:20:12,736
I just want you to get
your act together, Doc.
1660
01:20:13,601 --> 01:20:15,046
Fucking...
1661
01:20:15,636 --> 01:20:18,242
One more thing.
Your wife's smoking hot.
1662
01:20:18,339 --> 01:20:21,047
You need to get rid of Debra
and focus on tapping that ass.
1663
01:20:23,844 --> 01:20:26,586
And there may be a scratch
or two on your minivan!
1664
01:20:43,030 --> 01:20:44,441
Hey, stranger!
1665
01:20:45,032 --> 01:20:46,443
Need a ride?
1666
01:20:53,941 --> 01:20:55,852
- Hey, Roxanne. What's up?
- Hey.
1667
01:20:55,976 --> 01:20:57,148
How'd you find me?
1668
01:20:57,278 --> 01:21:01,249
Oh, this little gizmo kept beeping,
so I followed it to find you.
1669
01:21:01,348 --> 01:21:03,453
Which is a little creepy
now that I think about it.
1670
01:21:04,485 --> 01:21:06,328
That's okay.
Thank you for stalking me.
1671
01:21:08,289 --> 01:21:09,666
Shit.
1672
01:21:10,791 --> 01:21:12,998
Oh. Let me guess.
Your girlfriend again?
1673
01:21:13,127 --> 01:21:14,435
No.
1674
01:21:14,528 --> 01:21:15,939
We broke up.
1675
01:21:16,030 --> 01:21:18,442
Oh. And you're just fine?
You seem fine.
1676
01:21:18,532 --> 01:21:20,443
Yeah, no, I'm great.
1677
01:21:20,534 --> 01:21:24,846
She's in hysterics, but she'll be
cool, eventually. She'll move on.
1678
01:21:25,372 --> 01:21:28,842
- Listen, I'm a free bird.
- I got to fly.
1679
01:21:28,976 --> 01:21:30,785
Right.
1680
01:21:30,878 --> 01:21:32,687
I don't know why I said that.
1681
01:21:34,415 --> 01:21:37,487
- Do you need to get that?
- It's my dad, actually.
1682
01:21:38,319 --> 01:21:40,230
I think I'm gonna let this
one go to voice mail.
1683
01:21:40,354 --> 01:21:41,799
Great.
1684
01:21:41,889 --> 01:21:44,369
I have an idea.
Why don't we ditch the car?
1685
01:21:45,826 --> 01:21:46,964
It's a nice night for a walk.
1686
01:21:47,561 --> 01:21:49,632
Okay. Sure.
1687
01:21:50,698 --> 01:21:51,733
Cool.
1688
01:22:01,742 --> 01:22:04,382
- Looks like you had a rough night.
- Yeah.
1689
01:22:04,512 --> 01:22:09,154
But like a wise man once told me, "Make
love to the night, motherfucker."
1690
01:22:09,250 --> 01:22:10,320
"Make love to the night."
1691
01:22:11,519 --> 01:22:14,363
Have you ever met a girl
that you tried to date.
1692
01:22:14,455 --> 01:22:17,334
But a year, to make lave
She wanted you to wait.
1693
01:22:17,424 --> 01:22:19,802
Let me tell ya a story
of my situation.
1694
01:22:19,894 --> 01:22:23,034
I was talkin' to this girl
from the U.S. nation.
1695
01:22:23,130 --> 01:22:25,770
The way that I met her was
on tour at a concert.
1696
01:22:25,866 --> 01:22:28,472
She had really long hair
and a short miniskirt.
1697
01:22:28,569 --> 01:22:31,277
I just got onstage drippin',
pourin' with sweat.
1698
01:22:31,372 --> 01:22:34,148
I was walkin' through the
crowd and guess who I met.
1699
01:22:34,241 --> 01:22:36,847
I whispered in her ear Come
to the picture booth.
1700
01:22:36,944 --> 01:22:39,891
So I can ask you some questions to
see if you are a hundred proof.
1701
01:22:39,980 --> 01:22:42,517
I asked her her name She
said blah-blah-blah.
1702
01:22:42,616 --> 01:22:45,597
She had 9/10 pants
and a very big bra.
1703
01:22:45,686 --> 01:22:48,292
I took a couple of flicks
and she was enthused.
1704
01:22:48,389 --> 01:22:49,493
I said, how do you
like the show?
1705
01:22:49,590 --> 01:22:51,365
She said, I was very amused.
1706
01:22:51,458 --> 01:22:54,098
I started throwin' bass She
started throwin' back mid-range.
1707
01:22:54,195 --> 01:22:56,903
But when I sprung the question
She acted kind of strange
1708
01:22:56,997 --> 01:23:00,103
'Cause when I asked, Do you have a man?
She tried to pretend.
1709
01:23:00,201 --> 01:23:04,013
She said, no, I don't I
only have a friend.
1710
01:23:04,104 --> 01:23:06,084
You must be buggin'.
1711
01:23:06,173 --> 01:23:07,880
This is what I'm gonna sing.
1712
01:23:08,576 --> 01:23:13,548
You, you got what I need.
1713
01:23:13,647 --> 01:23:16,560
But you say he's just a friend.
1714
01:23:16,650 --> 01:23:20,154
And you say he's just
a friend Oh, baby.
1715
01:23:20,254 --> 01:23:24,862
You got what I need.
1716
01:23:25,326 --> 01:23:28,068
But you say he's just a friend.
1717
01:23:28,162 --> 01:23:31,632
But you say he's just
a friend Oh, baby.
1718
01:23:31,732 --> 01:23:36,374
You got what I need.
1719
01:23:36,470 --> 01:23:39,280
But you say he's just a friend.
1720
01:23:39,373 --> 01:23:42,377
But you say he's just a friend.
1721
01:23:42,476 --> 01:23:44,922
So please listen to the
message that I say.
1722
01:23:45,012 --> 01:23:48,016
Don't ever talk to a girl who
says she just has a friend.
1723
01:23:48,115 --> 01:23:50,618
Has a friend.
1724
01:23:56,657 --> 01:23:57,658
Yeah.
1725
01:23:57,758 --> 01:23:59,260
Premier and Slick Hick, kid.
1726
01:24:01,161 --> 01:24:02,606
Jonah Hill.
1727
01:24:02,696 --> 01:24:04,039
Yeah, kid, check it out.
1728
01:24:04,131 --> 01:24:06,077
Good gosh The world's so bad.
1729
01:24:06,166 --> 01:24:07,873
It's trying to drive
me, a sane man, mad.
1730
01:24:08,769 --> 01:24:11,181
Great gosh I need some bad
1731
01:24:11,272 --> 01:24:13,081
'Bout to drive me,
a sane man, mad.
1732
01:24:13,574 --> 01:24:15,986
Are you peeping this floozy
Or queens, excuse me.
1733
01:24:16,076 --> 01:24:18,682
Can't believe haw many times I
had to eat the chick's sushi.
1734
01:24:18,779 --> 01:24:19,757
Who she?
1735
01:24:19,847 --> 01:24:21,326
Look at haw a brother
gotta roll.
1736
01:24:21,415 --> 01:24:23,622
All cold, kid Anyway
truth being told.
1737
01:24:23,717 --> 01:24:26,220
Fit boy too big Which
one you pick.
1738
01:24:26,320 --> 01:24:29,028
Rico suave or chick
one, two kid.
1739
01:24:29,123 --> 01:24:31,194
Once I was born in this thick.
1740
01:24:31,292 --> 01:24:33,431
Why I gotta deal with
this horniness tip.
1741
01:24:33,527 --> 01:24:35,905
This, not enough flair
This, lack a lot wares.
1742
01:24:36,030 --> 01:24:38,670
Got her holding my tears
Trying to act like who cares.
1743
01:24:38,766 --> 01:24:41,076
Reaching, if I say I
see kids in the mix.
1744
01:24:41,168 --> 01:24:43,648
Wanna cuddle Go out something,
trick with the chick.
1745
01:24:43,737 --> 01:24:44,943
You know what I'm saying, kid
1746
01:24:45,039 --> 01:24:48,680
'Cause it's so bad Trying to
drive me, a sane man, mad.
1747
01:24:49,877 --> 01:24:52,824
I need some bad 'Bout to
drive me, a sane man, mad.
1748
01:24:53,714 --> 01:24:55,716
Good gosh the world's so bad.
1749
01:24:55,816 --> 01:24:58,626
It's trying to drive
me, a sane man, mad.
1750
01:24:58,719 --> 01:25:00,926
Great gosh I need some bad
1751
01:25:01,021 --> 01:25:03,433
'Bout to drive me,
a sane man, mad.
1752
01:25:03,557 --> 01:25:06,060
I want you, munch too Comes
to hun, how long do.
1753
01:25:06,160 --> 01:25:08,731
Ma duke caught the kid
masturbating once too.
1754
01:25:08,829 --> 01:25:11,070
Passed, looked stunned,
kept an like.
1755
01:25:11,165 --> 01:25:13,509
Don't you have a steady
piece to smash yet, son?
1756
01:25:13,600 --> 01:25:15,910
What to do, Mom None
touching dude's joint.
1757
01:25:16,003 --> 01:25:18,540
Like to see me out here buying
some prostitute's bum?
1758
01:25:18,639 --> 01:25:19,617
No?
1759
01:25:19,707 --> 01:25:21,983
Picking up scroin, cop pursuing.
1760
01:25:22,076 --> 01:25:23,783
From the stripper
club hair doing.
1761
01:25:23,877 --> 01:25:25,948
Then laughed and none
but wise after.
1762
01:25:26,046 --> 01:25:28,822
Soul mate, more than
sex, a live partner.
1763
01:25:28,916 --> 01:25:30,520
Snatch can't get, cat frantic.
1764
01:25:30,617 --> 01:25:33,723
So, in the meantime stripper
club, lap dance tip.
1765
01:25:33,821 --> 01:25:35,926
A professional press
box arouser.
1766
01:25:36,023 --> 01:25:38,936
Some condoms so I don't
mess up me trousers.
1767
01:25:39,026 --> 01:25:40,869
Then start paying, mark swaying.
1768
01:25:40,961 --> 01:25:43,737
Girlfriend just sit down
and start playing.
1769
01:25:43,831 --> 01:25:45,640
Here's an extra, para
ding the wealth.
1770
01:25:45,733 --> 01:25:48,407
Don't want a real kid feel
like I'm degrading myself.
1771
01:25:48,502 --> 01:25:50,539
Bouncing on me funny
Bouncing with my money.
1772
01:25:50,637 --> 01:25:53,345
Or it's back to playing cat and
mouse games with the honey.
1773
01:25:53,440 --> 01:25:54,441
You know what I mean, kid.
1774
01:25:54,541 --> 01:25:58,182
Caught a script so bad Trying
to drive me, a sane man, mad.
1775
01:25:58,278 --> 01:25:59,621
Say wha t, Slick Hick.
1776
01:25:59,713 --> 01:26:03,320
I need some bad 'Bout to
drive me, a sane man, mad.
1777
01:26:03,417 --> 01:26:07,365
Good gosh the world's so bad Trying
to drive me, a sane man, mad.
1778
01:26:07,454 --> 01:26:08,524
Jonah Hill, kid.
1779
01:26:08,622 --> 01:26:13,435
Good gash, need some bad About
to drive me, a sane man...
1780
01:26:16,997 --> 01:26:18,533
I need some bad.
1781
01:26:21,935 --> 01:26:23,141
I need some bad.
1782
01:26:24,538 --> 01:26:28,315
I need some bad I need some bad.
1783
01:26:31,945 --> 01:26:33,253
I need some bad
1784
01:26:49,930 --> 01:26:50,908
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