1
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:04,196
- Ghostbusters!
- Ghostbusters!
2
00:02:29,281 --> 00:02:30,976
Yeah!
3
00:02:31,449 --> 00:02:32,643
We did it, man!
4
00:02:34,820 --> 00:02:37,345
- Be seeing you.
- You got it, man.
5
00:02:37,556 --> 00:02:39,046
- Have a great trip.
- Yeah.
6
00:02:39,257 --> 00:02:41,657
When I'm done with probation,
I'm gonna come find you.
7
00:02:41,860 --> 00:02:43,293
I know you will.
8
00:02:45,263 --> 00:02:47,424
All right, I'm out of here.
9
00:02:49,301 --> 00:02:50,893
One last thing.
10
00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:53,269
- Remember this?
- My Indy compass.
11
00:02:53,471 --> 00:02:55,302
- In case you get lost.
- Where'd you get this?
12
00:02:55,507 --> 00:02:57,304
- And you will get lost.
- Yeah, I will get lost.
13
00:02:57,509 --> 00:02:58,669
But it's half the fun.
14
00:02:58,877 --> 00:03:00,811
- Thanks, man.
- Be good.
15
00:03:02,314 --> 00:03:04,612
- Take care of those two fools.
- Have fun.
16
00:03:04,816 --> 00:03:06,545
I will.
17
00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:09,151
Catch you around, boys!
18
00:03:11,623 --> 00:03:13,648
Bye, Billy!
19
00:03:16,394 --> 00:03:18,089
I wonder where he's gonna end up.
20
00:03:18,296 --> 00:03:20,264
He's gonna do great things.
21
00:03:20,465 --> 00:03:24,265
Don't worry. We're all gonna do
great things.
22
00:03:28,073 --> 00:03:31,440
- Are you ready for Tom?
- I'm ready for Tom!
23
00:03:31,810 --> 00:03:34,040
- Let's ride!
- Come on, baby!
24
00:03:35,881 --> 00:03:37,041
Yeah!
25
00:03:38,416 --> 00:03:39,940
Angie!
26
00:03:40,151 --> 00:03:41,482
What was that?
27
00:03:41,686 --> 00:03:43,517
Shit. I think it's Tony.
28
00:03:43,722 --> 00:03:45,212
- Tony?!
- Get your clothes on!
29
00:03:45,423 --> 00:03:48,358
- What happened to "Tony's in China"?
- Oh, this is bad. Get your clothes on...
30
00:03:50,729 --> 00:03:52,287
Hey, Tony.
31
00:03:52,530 --> 00:03:54,464
You're home early, baby.
32
00:03:54,666 --> 00:03:57,396
- Tony?
- What the hell's going on here?
33
00:03:59,838 --> 00:04:02,432
Tony, there's enough of me
to go around.
34
00:04:02,641 --> 00:04:04,973
I'm thinking about a Tom sandwich.
35
00:04:05,277 --> 00:04:06,369
Light on the Tom.
36
00:04:10,015 --> 00:04:12,540
Jerry here has the reworked formula,
37
00:04:12,751 --> 00:04:15,652
so I'll pass the ball on to him.
38
00:04:15,854 --> 00:04:17,412
You're on.
39
00:04:21,426 --> 00:04:24,224
- Now?
- Now.
40
00:04:26,564 --> 00:04:27,963
Right.
41
00:04:43,214 --> 00:04:45,307
Baby! You're home.
42
00:04:45,517 --> 00:04:46,984
Hey.
43
00:04:49,287 --> 00:04:51,050
How was the surf?
44
00:04:51,256 --> 00:04:53,087
Someone's happy to see me.
45
00:04:53,291 --> 00:04:55,987
Well, why wouldn't I be?
Especially tonight.
46
00:04:59,664 --> 00:05:01,154
You outdid yourself.
47
00:05:01,366 --> 00:05:03,800
Just seemed like the right night
to outdo oneself, so...
48
00:05:05,370 --> 00:05:07,031
A Thursday?
49
00:05:07,238 --> 00:05:10,139
Honey, don't you think every night
should be special?
50
00:05:10,342 --> 00:05:13,709
Yeah. Yes, every night
should be special, this is true.
51
00:05:13,912 --> 00:05:15,243
But, really...
52
00:05:15,447 --> 00:05:19,543
..specifically, there's always one night
a year that just seems right
53
00:05:19,751 --> 00:05:22,686
for a celebration of a specific event.
54
00:05:23,688 --> 00:05:26,919
- Do you know what I'm saying?
- Absolutely.
55
00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:28,786
I love dip.
56
00:05:28,994 --> 00:05:30,484
It's our anniversary!
57
00:05:30,695 --> 00:05:34,563
Our first date! How many hints
do I need to give you?!
58
00:05:36,134 --> 00:05:38,034
I must be crazy.
59
00:05:39,537 --> 00:05:41,334
A trip? Great call.
Where we going?
60
00:05:41,539 --> 00:05:44,838
I won't do it. I won't play the role
of nagging girlfriend anymore.
61
00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:47,011
Would nagging wife
make you happier?
62
00:05:50,615 --> 00:05:53,345
Please tell me that was not
you proposing to me.
63
00:05:56,521 --> 00:05:58,352
Jerry and Denise cannot get
to the phone right now,
64
00:05:58,556 --> 00:06:00,387
because we're doing it!
65
00:06:01,326 --> 00:06:03,954
Jerry, it's Mom. If you're there,
will you please pick up.
66
00:06:04,162 --> 00:06:06,995
Hey, Mom. I can't really talk
right now.
67
00:06:09,968 --> 00:06:11,663
What?
68
00:06:25,784 --> 00:06:27,615
Excuse me. Excuse me.
69
00:06:27,819 --> 00:06:30,515
Excuse me, sir? Sir? Excuse me.
70
00:06:30,722 --> 00:06:31,984
You're in my spot.
71
00:06:32,791 --> 00:06:34,554
I don't see your name on it.
72
00:06:34,759 --> 00:06:38,024
Well, actually, yes, my name is on it.
See? Right there, Dr. Mott.
73
00:06:38,229 --> 00:06:40,254
That's me. That's my space.
74
00:06:40,732 --> 00:06:42,290
You got me.
75
00:06:43,401 --> 00:06:44,527
But look at this, pal!
76
00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:47,138
Now...
77
00:06:47,338 --> 00:06:49,465
..your name's not on it!
- Hey! What're you doing? Hey!
78
00:06:49,674 --> 00:06:52,643
Hey, you get back. You get back.
I'm not afraid to use this!
79
00:06:53,578 --> 00:06:55,102
Hey, don't...!
80
00:06:56,714 --> 00:06:58,614
Have a good day, doc.
81
00:06:58,817 --> 00:06:59,977
You too.
82
00:07:11,529 --> 00:07:13,463
I'm Dr. Mott!
83
00:07:24,809 --> 00:07:26,902
Good morning, Sandi. TGIF.
84
00:07:27,112 --> 00:07:28,602
What's that, Dr. Mott?
85
00:07:28,813 --> 00:07:31,407
Thank Goodness It's Friday.
Happy Friday.
86
00:07:31,616 --> 00:07:33,311
It's the weekend.
87
00:07:35,253 --> 00:07:36,413
Right.
88
00:07:40,391 --> 00:07:42,154
"TGIF."
89
00:07:42,961 --> 00:07:45,953
That was great. So smart.
90
00:07:47,298 --> 00:07:49,858
Why don't you just ask her out,
you dumb-ass.
91
00:07:50,335 --> 00:07:51,597
It's Jerry Conlaine.
92
00:07:51,803 --> 00:07:54,135
- He says it's very important.
- Okay.
93
00:07:55,673 --> 00:07:58,369
- Hey, how you doing? Long time.
- Hey, Dan.
94
00:08:00,845 --> 00:08:02,608
Listen...
95
00:08:03,314 --> 00:08:05,043
There was an accident.
96
00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:07,313
Billy's dead.
97
00:08:08,286 --> 00:08:11,153
- You're kidding.
- Yeah, he...
98
00:08:11,789 --> 00:08:14,155
He was para-surfing
down in Costa Rica.
99
00:08:14,826 --> 00:08:18,523
So the funeral's this weekend.
It's... It's in Oregon.
100
00:08:18,730 --> 00:08:21,392
- Yeah...
- I'm flying out in a couple of hours.
101
00:08:21,599 --> 00:08:22,793
Can you make it?
102
00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:24,901
Yeah, I'll be there.
103
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,547
Dano! Hey.
104
00:08:40,752 --> 00:08:42,515
- Hey, Jerry.
- How's it going?
105
00:08:43,555 --> 00:08:45,648
Oh, man.
106
00:08:47,659 --> 00:08:49,320
Oh, my God, is that Everest?
107
00:08:49,527 --> 00:08:52,587
Yeah. You know Billy.
He wasn't afraid of anything.
108
00:08:53,164 --> 00:08:54,529
He could do it all.
109
00:08:54,732 --> 00:08:56,859
Did you know he ran with the bulls?
110
00:08:57,068 --> 00:08:58,365
He sent me a postcard from Spain.
111
00:08:58,570 --> 00:09:00,595
- Man, he did great things.
- He did.
112
00:09:00,805 --> 00:09:02,067
I still want you.
113
00:09:04,275 --> 00:09:05,572
Why did you leave me?
114
00:09:05,777 --> 00:09:07,438
Oh, Billy.
115
00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:11,240
Billy's dead and he's still got a better
chance of getting laid than I do.
116
00:09:14,352 --> 00:09:19,085
Leadeth me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake...
117
00:09:21,159 --> 00:09:22,751
I walk through the valley
of the shadow...
118
00:09:22,961 --> 00:09:24,360
Tom's here.
119
00:09:24,562 --> 00:09:27,122
Walk through the valley of the shadow
of death, I will fear...
120
00:09:36,774 --> 00:09:38,639
Is this Billy's funeral?
121
00:09:40,445 --> 00:09:42,106
Is that the corpse of Billy Newwood?
122
00:09:44,282 --> 00:09:45,613
Jer, is that you?
123
00:09:48,586 --> 00:09:50,213
You're with Dan?
124
00:09:51,089 --> 00:09:53,683
- Where did you guys park?
- Tom!
125
00:09:54,993 --> 00:09:57,120
Okay. Sorry.
126
00:09:57,328 --> 00:09:59,796
There's a hell of a fender-bender
coming in, and...
127
00:09:59,998 --> 00:10:02,933
- Please continue. I'm so sorry.
- L-5 was a parking lot. I made it.
128
00:10:03,134 --> 00:10:04,761
Then the earth shook and trembled...
129
00:10:05,103 --> 00:10:06,968
Sorry, Padre.
130
00:10:07,171 --> 00:10:08,763
My bad. Missed an exit.
131
00:10:08,973 --> 00:10:11,373
Because he was wroth.
132
00:10:11,576 --> 00:10:19,142
He bowed the heavens also and
came down. And darkness was...
133
00:10:19,350 --> 00:10:21,716
Did you notice how many hot chicks
were at that funeral?
134
00:10:21,919 --> 00:10:26,686
No kidding! It was like a discotheque
with a coffin in the middle.
135
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:28,488
- Look at that.
- Holy...
136
00:10:28,693 --> 00:10:30,183
Fort Cooper. Can you believe it?
137
00:10:30,762 --> 00:10:32,957
God, I remember it being taller.
138
00:10:37,869 --> 00:10:39,700
There it is.
139
00:10:40,471 --> 00:10:41,836
Race you to the top!
140
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:50,447
- Dano, come on up!
- Come on, Dan.
141
00:10:50,648 --> 00:10:53,139
You guys are hammered!
I'm not climbing up a 20-year-old rope.
142
00:10:53,351 --> 00:10:55,148
- That's crazy.
- Tommy, catch.
143
00:10:55,353 --> 00:10:59,050
This whole thing seems
a little insane for us to be doing,
144
00:10:59,257 --> 00:11:01,191
climbing with the possibility of...
145
00:11:04,529 --> 00:11:07,054
- You all right, Dano?
- Come on, Dano, grab it.
146
00:11:07,265 --> 00:11:08,527
- Give me the rope.
- Come on, Dan!
147
00:11:10,535 --> 00:11:12,127
Use your tippy-toes. There you go.
148
00:11:13,171 --> 00:11:14,900
Cobweb. Look out.
149
00:11:17,475 --> 00:11:20,808
- Oh, my God.
- How small is that door?
150
00:11:21,012 --> 00:11:22,502
Kind of seems about
the same, actually.
151
00:11:22,714 --> 00:11:25,080
I hope I don't fall through
the floor of this thing.
152
00:11:26,017 --> 00:11:28,679
Hey! What's up, B.A. Baracus?
153
00:11:28,886 --> 00:11:31,286
Mr. T. How awesome is that?
154
00:11:31,489 --> 00:11:35,084
You guys. Oh, my gosh.
155
00:11:35,827 --> 00:11:38,762
- Look at this.
- Hey, that's our old flag.
156
00:11:38,963 --> 00:11:42,660
- D.B. Cooper's treasure chest.
- Oh, man, look at that thing.
157
00:11:42,867 --> 00:11:45,062
- You remember this?
- Of course, yeah.
158
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:48,329
Cooper parachuted out of a plane
up north with a bunch of stolen cash.
159
00:11:48,539 --> 00:11:49,563
We were obsessed with that.
160
00:11:49,774 --> 00:11:51,435
- Nationwide police hunt and...
- Right.
161
00:11:51,642 --> 00:11:53,405
- Never found.
- Yeah, we were gonna sneak away,
162
00:11:53,611 --> 00:11:56,910
go up the river, all Huck Finn,
Apocalypse Now style.
163
00:11:57,115 --> 00:11:58,883
Get the loot.
164
00:11:58,949 --> 00:12:01,076
I bet you we spent half our childhood
planning that trip.
165
00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:03,048
It's all Billy ever talked about.
166
00:12:03,254 --> 00:12:05,415
- Let's open it up.
- We have to break the lock.
167
00:12:05,623 --> 00:12:08,091
- Oh, I'll break it.
- 38-24-36.
168
00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:10,920
- How did he know that?
- How do you possibly remember that?
169
00:12:11,128 --> 00:12:16,065
Miss 1981, Julie McDonald.
38-24-36. Unforgettable.
170
00:12:16,267 --> 00:12:18,201
Had a passion for cycling.
Disliked liars.
171
00:12:18,402 --> 00:12:19,528
You're right.
172
00:12:20,771 --> 00:12:22,898
- What the?
- Do you believe it?
173
00:12:23,107 --> 00:12:24,438
Man! Look at that.
174
00:12:24,642 --> 00:12:26,041
The oath...
175
00:12:26,243 --> 00:12:29,144
"We swear that these things
will remain in this box
176
00:12:29,346 --> 00:12:31,871
until we find D.B. Cooper's treasure. "
177
00:12:32,683 --> 00:12:34,844
Signed, a bunch of kids.
178
00:12:35,052 --> 00:12:37,714
Remember we pricked our fingers,
took a blood oath?
179
00:12:37,922 --> 00:12:41,153
Dan, what's that next to
your signature? That's not blood.
180
00:12:41,358 --> 00:12:42,723
It was earwax.
181
00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:44,316
I was afraid of needles.
182
00:12:45,162 --> 00:12:47,926
Should we check out the priceless
treasures of our youth?
183
00:12:48,132 --> 00:12:49,565
C-3PO.
184
00:12:50,768 --> 00:12:53,259
- I wonder who put that in.
- Let me see. That's a collectible now.
185
00:12:53,470 --> 00:12:55,938
- Yeah, right.
- My Brian Bosworth rookie card.
186
00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:57,835
- The Boz.
- Man, I thought he was gonna be
187
00:12:58,042 --> 00:12:59,236
the greatest ever.
188
00:12:59,743 --> 00:13:01,973
"I've been in that box
a very long time. "
189
00:13:02,179 --> 00:13:03,840
Well, you're free now.
190
00:13:04,581 --> 00:13:07,778
And, Tom, I believe this
is your contribution.
191
00:13:07,985 --> 00:13:09,748
Oh, my God.
192
00:13:09,954 --> 00:13:12,149
That's my first rubber.
193
00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:13,550
Boy...
194
00:13:13,757 --> 00:13:17,921
I found this in my dad's pickup
right before he went to jail.
195
00:13:18,128 --> 00:13:20,255
I remember he caught me with it.
196
00:13:20,464 --> 00:13:22,762
Boy, he smacked me
right in the head.
197
00:13:22,967 --> 00:13:25,265
What a charming
father-and-son tale.
198
00:13:25,469 --> 00:13:26,868
He was funny.
199
00:13:27,071 --> 00:13:30,529
- Hey, what did Billy put in there?
- Yeah, what does he got?
200
00:13:30,741 --> 00:13:32,368
His Indy compass.
201
00:13:32,576 --> 00:13:35,340
I gave this to him before he took off
on his trip. He must've...
202
00:13:35,546 --> 00:13:36,979
I don't know, he must've put it back.
203
00:13:37,181 --> 00:13:40,981
Look at this. It's one of our mix tapes.
Remember we did the DJ intros?
204
00:13:41,185 --> 00:13:43,176
Yeah, let's not Wang Chung tonight.
Burn that.
205
00:13:43,587 --> 00:13:45,452
You guys, check out this map.
206
00:13:45,656 --> 00:13:48,147
- Looks like Billy left us a treasure map.
- Look at that.
207
00:13:48,359 --> 00:13:50,350
- Not only that...
- This map looks new.
208
00:13:50,561 --> 00:13:52,620
He plotted out the whole trip.
209
00:13:52,830 --> 00:13:56,357
Billy thought D.B. Landed right here.
There's no way he did this as a kid.
210
00:13:56,567 --> 00:13:59,730
He must've been adding to the box
over the years.
211
00:13:59,937 --> 00:14:04,033
This is the camping trip
he wanted us to take last summer.
212
00:14:04,241 --> 00:14:06,209
I couldn't go.
I was detained in Mexico.
213
00:14:06,744 --> 00:14:08,803
And he wouldn't do it
unless we were all together.
214
00:14:09,713 --> 00:14:12,307
I swear to God, I think he figured it out.
215
00:14:12,516 --> 00:14:14,484
I mean, look at all this research.
216
00:14:14,685 --> 00:14:17,813
He reconstructed the jump.
He pinpointed D.B.'s landing.
217
00:14:18,355 --> 00:14:19,845
That's crazy.
218
00:14:21,959 --> 00:14:23,859
My God...
219
00:14:24,061 --> 00:14:26,291
I'm sorry, you guys,
220
00:14:26,497 --> 00:14:28,431
we made an oath.
221
00:14:28,632 --> 00:14:30,156
It all goes back in the box.
222
00:14:31,068 --> 00:14:33,832
It all goes back in the box
until we find the treasure.
223
00:14:34,038 --> 00:14:35,972
So let's go find it.
224
00:14:36,173 --> 00:14:38,733
Let's... Let's take Billy's trip.
225
00:14:38,942 --> 00:14:42,105
- Come on, guys, what do you say?
- I say, "Hell, yes. "
226
00:14:42,312 --> 00:14:44,177
- Hell, yes! Right?
- We'll get a canoe.
227
00:14:44,381 --> 00:14:45,370
- Right?
- No.
228
00:14:45,582 --> 00:14:46,571
No.
229
00:14:46,784 --> 00:14:48,149
No, I'm...
230
00:14:48,352 --> 00:14:49,819
- No.
- We're all going.
231
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:52,318
- Listen, I wanna get a lot of rope.
- A rope's good.
232
00:14:52,523 --> 00:14:55,515
All right, I know you guys won't grasp
this concept,
233
00:14:55,726 --> 00:14:57,523
but I have patients and...
234
00:14:58,429 --> 00:15:00,624
I am a doctor now.
235
00:15:00,831 --> 00:15:03,527
I am Dr. Mott now!
236
00:15:04,034 --> 00:15:06,696
I have responsibilities!
237
00:15:08,672 --> 00:15:13,578
Your responsibility is to come
treasure hunting with us.
238
00:15:15,246 --> 00:15:16,372
We're 30.
239
00:15:16,581 --> 00:15:18,708
This might be the last chance
we have to do something
240
00:15:18,916 --> 00:15:20,406
incredibly stupid together.
241
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,488
I agree.
242
00:15:25,222 --> 00:15:27,383
For Billy, Dano.
243
00:15:29,794 --> 00:15:31,785
- Not fair.
- I think it's fair.
244
00:15:31,996 --> 00:15:33,327
All right.
245
00:15:33,531 --> 00:15:35,965
Time to re-up on our oath, boys.
Fingers up.
246
00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:38,192
- Hey, put that away. Tom...
- I love the way you work.
247
00:15:38,402 --> 00:15:39,460
You know who I'm talking to.
248
00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:41,604
There's no way I'm going.
No chance!
249
00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:44,630
No! You guys, no! Hey.
250
00:15:44,842 --> 00:15:45,900
Let go of me!
251
00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,202
Hey! No, no.
252
00:15:47,411 --> 00:15:49,038
No!
253
00:15:51,248 --> 00:15:52,579
I hate you guys.
254
00:15:52,783 --> 00:15:54,808
Oh, we hate you too,
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
255
00:15:55,019 --> 00:15:56,987
Hey! Hey! I agreed to come.
You said I could drive.
256
00:15:57,188 --> 00:15:58,985
We drive by my rules.
No kissing me.
257
00:15:59,190 --> 00:16:01,954
I can't believe that Billy kept the Duke
in running shape all these years.
258
00:16:02,159 --> 00:16:04,093
318 V8, man. They're bulletproof.
259
00:16:04,295 --> 00:16:06,229
How about a little
Fort Cooper classic.
260
00:16:07,765 --> 00:16:10,029
This is Rocking Billy Newwood.
I'm here with fellow DJs
261
00:16:10,234 --> 00:16:12,168
- Jazzy Jerry.
- Yeah!
262
00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:14,895
- Gonzo Tommy.
- Yeah!
263
00:16:15,106 --> 00:16:17,768
- And Disco Dan.
- Burn, baby, burn!
264
00:16:17,975 --> 00:16:20,910
And we have a special dedication
by Dan's mom, entitled:
265
00:16:21,112 --> 00:16:23,103
"I've Had Sex With Tom. "
266
00:16:23,314 --> 00:16:24,781
I totally did, though.
267
00:16:32,957 --> 00:16:36,290
- Usually it's too late when you
- Do you know the words?
268
00:16:36,494 --> 00:16:38,792
Realize what you had
269
00:16:40,131 --> 00:16:45,694
And my mind goes back to a girl
I left some years ago
270
00:16:45,903 --> 00:16:47,200
Who told me
271
00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:50,505
Just hold on loosely
272
00:16:51,208 --> 00:16:54,473
But don't let go
273
00:16:54,679 --> 00:16:58,615
The boys together, the open road.
Good tunes, good times.
274
00:16:58,816 --> 00:17:01,148
Good God! Let's pull off
memory highway.
275
00:17:01,352 --> 00:17:03,411
But I'm never off, always on
To the break of dawn
276
00:17:03,621 --> 00:17:04,679
C- O-M-P-T-O-N
277
00:17:04,889 --> 00:17:06,550
And the city they call Long Beach
278
00:17:06,757 --> 00:17:08,190
Putting the shit together
279
00:17:08,392 --> 00:17:10,257
If it's good enough to take
Them off a proper chunk
280
00:17:10,461 --> 00:17:12,554
I'll take a small piece
Of some of that funky stuff
281
00:17:12,763 --> 00:17:14,560
It's like this and like that
And like this and...
282
00:17:14,765 --> 00:17:17,666
- How do you know all these words?
- He's a doctor.
283
00:17:17,868 --> 00:17:20,359
Doctors study other doctors' work.
284
00:17:20,905 --> 00:17:22,839
- You're a secret Dr. Dre fan.
- Oh, God.
285
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,735
It's like this and like that
And like this...
286
00:17:32,383 --> 00:17:36,217
- No, this is a metropolis. Look at this.
- This place is very remote.
287
00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:39,719
I wish I would've brought my dancing
shoes so we can go clubbing.
288
00:17:39,924 --> 00:17:42,552
- Let's find the nearest hospital.
- Stay at The Ritz. This is great.
289
00:17:47,198 --> 00:17:49,166
- How are you?
- Hi.
290
00:17:57,942 --> 00:17:58,909
Where are we?
291
00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:03,308
Corner of Bumfuck and
You Got a Purty Mouth.
292
00:18:03,681 --> 00:18:05,239
Hey, I'm gonna make a call.
293
00:18:05,449 --> 00:18:07,974
Oh, wait, Jerry, you should use
my new cell phone.
294
00:18:08,185 --> 00:18:10,312
It's a satellite phone,
so it works everywhere.
295
00:18:10,521 --> 00:18:13,081
And it's got a camera and it's got
an address book and, listen,
296
00:18:13,290 --> 00:18:15,190
it's even got a personalized ring.
297
00:18:15,392 --> 00:18:18,293
Nice. You shouldn't be proud
of that, Dan.
298
00:18:18,496 --> 00:18:19,463
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
299
00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:21,028
Well,
300
00:18:21,232 --> 00:18:24,030
I'm gonna go check out
the canoe situation.
301
00:18:24,235 --> 00:18:27,136
- You want anything?
- Good luck. No, I'm good.
302
00:18:29,006 --> 00:18:30,200
Hello?
303
00:18:30,407 --> 00:18:32,637
Denise. What are you doing home?
Hey.
304
00:18:32,843 --> 00:18:35,004
Hi. Is everything all right?
305
00:18:35,479 --> 00:18:36,776
You know...
306
00:18:36,981 --> 00:18:39,609
- It's as good as it can be.
- Where are you?
307
00:18:41,352 --> 00:18:42,649
On the road.
308
00:18:43,087 --> 00:18:45,180
Good. You're on your way home.
What time do you get in?
309
00:18:45,389 --> 00:18:46,583
I can't wait to see you.
310
00:18:46,791 --> 00:18:47,883
What you looking at, boy?
311
00:18:48,993 --> 00:18:50,722
Here's the thing, the guys and I...
312
00:18:50,928 --> 00:18:52,725
We're going on a treasure hunt.
313
00:18:52,930 --> 00:18:56,627
And I know that sounds dumb,
but it's something that we have to do.
314
00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:57,994
For Billy.
315
00:18:58,202 --> 00:19:01,228
That doesn't sound dumb at all.
I completely understand.
316
00:19:01,438 --> 00:19:04,202
- You do?
- Just call me when you get a chance.
317
00:19:04,408 --> 00:19:07,502
But I might be out of the house.
For a bit. Yeah, because
318
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:11,147
my girlfriends and I, we're gonna go on
a search for the lost city of Atlantis.
319
00:19:11,348 --> 00:19:13,646
Maybe my treasure will help
buy your submarine.
320
00:19:13,851 --> 00:19:15,910
- Maybe. Maybe it will.
- Take a picture.
321
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:17,678
- Hold on.
- I'm on the little guy's back.
322
00:19:17,888 --> 00:19:19,480
- Shut up.
- Go, take a picture.
323
00:19:20,057 --> 00:19:21,149
That's good. That's good.
324
00:19:23,194 --> 00:19:24,627
Hello?
325
00:19:27,031 --> 00:19:29,022
That did not sound like it went well.
326
00:19:29,967 --> 00:19:32,026
Hiya, boys. Nice day.
327
00:19:33,037 --> 00:19:35,005
Just passing through?
328
00:19:35,706 --> 00:19:37,037
No.
329
00:19:37,241 --> 00:19:38,833
We're actually from UPS.
330
00:19:39,276 --> 00:19:41,437
Looks like someone ordered
a set of teeth.
331
00:19:42,079 --> 00:19:45,708
- I beg your pardon.
- TASER guns. Dropping them off.
332
00:19:47,718 --> 00:19:49,379
- Anyways...
- So help me out here, boys.
333
00:19:49,587 --> 00:19:51,179
Where was it you said
you was headed?
334
00:19:51,388 --> 00:19:54,186
We're just taking a trip. Our old friend,
Billy, he made this map...
335
00:19:54,391 --> 00:19:56,484
Quiet time. Quiet.
336
00:19:56,694 --> 00:19:58,355
We're just taking a day trip
337
00:19:58,562 --> 00:20:01,224
up Spirit River, Your Honor.
338
00:20:01,432 --> 00:20:03,127
Pretty thick country up there.
339
00:20:03,334 --> 00:20:05,734
You make a couple mistakes up there,
you're gone.
340
00:20:05,936 --> 00:20:08,200
You know what, I think we'll be okay.
I was a Boy Scout.
341
00:20:08,405 --> 00:20:10,339
Tom, you were a Boy Scout,
weren't you?
342
00:20:10,541 --> 00:20:13,009
No. But I ate a Brownie once.
343
00:20:15,045 --> 00:20:17,809
You don't wanna play
on the big river, boys.
344
00:20:18,015 --> 00:20:20,984
- Oh, no, we're not playing, we're...
- I got this. You listen to me.
345
00:20:21,452 --> 00:20:23,317
I know a thing or two
about rapid-riding
346
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:26,489
because I was a white-water guide
in Northern California, NoCal.
347
00:20:26,690 --> 00:20:30,319
Here's the thing. I know how to read a
river better than you can read a book.
348
00:20:30,527 --> 00:20:32,256
- Just a little better.
- All right.
349
00:20:32,463 --> 00:20:35,557
- All right. So we're gonna get going?
- That's right.
350
00:20:35,766 --> 00:20:38,667
- Thank you, sheriff.
- See you, Ray-Bans.
351
00:20:53,884 --> 00:20:56,318
You think we got enough booze,
Tom?
352
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,421
Maybe you wanna hire a bartender
to come on the trip with us.
353
00:20:59,623 --> 00:21:02,285
What's a camping trip without beer?
354
00:21:02,493 --> 00:21:05,587
Well, it's still a camping trip, actually,
just with less vomiting.
355
00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:07,759
I hear you're a river guide.
356
00:21:07,965 --> 00:21:09,762
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
357
00:21:09,967 --> 00:21:11,525
Class IV, V?
358
00:21:13,671 --> 00:21:15,195
- Which is it?
- Why don't you try putting
359
00:21:15,406 --> 00:21:17,431
those numbers together. That's right.
360
00:21:17,641 --> 00:21:20,633
I've shot a class 45,
and I've never lost a man.
361
00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:23,677
Lie to me. I don't care.
362
00:21:23,881 --> 00:21:25,473
I'm not the one that's going to drown.
363
00:21:25,683 --> 00:21:27,583
All right, fellas.
364
00:21:27,785 --> 00:21:29,844
Here we go. Attention.
365
00:21:30,054 --> 00:21:31,715
We christen you
366
00:21:31,922 --> 00:21:33,446
"Duke II."
367
00:21:36,327 --> 00:21:38,557
Thanks for breaking glass
where my kids play.
368
00:21:42,533 --> 00:21:44,467
There's a transmitter in the canoe.
369
00:21:44,668 --> 00:21:47,728
That way, if you guys disappear,
at least we'll get our boat back.
370
00:21:48,205 --> 00:21:50,799
It's child's play, guy. We got it.
371
00:21:51,208 --> 00:21:53,267
- It's beautiful!
- This is the best.
372
00:21:53,477 --> 00:21:55,536
- I like it out here.
- This is Spirit River!
373
00:21:55,746 --> 00:21:57,714
Get you out of the doctor's office,
Dano.
374
00:21:57,915 --> 00:21:59,143
- It's good to be outside.
- Yeah.
375
00:21:59,350 --> 00:22:01,181
Get you away from
that computer, Jer!
376
00:22:08,826 --> 00:22:10,726
- What kind of fish are those?
- That's brown trout.
377
00:22:10,928 --> 00:22:13,089
- That's big.
- Brown trout?
378
00:22:16,667 --> 00:22:18,862
- Hey, look, a deer!
- It's cool.
379
00:22:20,671 --> 00:22:21,763
Right out there in the open.
380
00:22:25,909 --> 00:22:27,206
Hey...
381
00:22:44,728 --> 00:22:46,127
Cheers.
382
00:22:47,364 --> 00:22:48,558
The great outdoors!
383
00:22:48,766 --> 00:22:50,165
Tom!
384
00:22:50,367 --> 00:22:52,130
- You guys are spraying me!
- Give me a break,
385
00:22:52,336 --> 00:22:55,134
- I'm writing your name!
- Stop it!
386
00:22:57,708 --> 00:23:00,108
- Hey, don't, don't, don't!
- What, are you gonna melt?
387
00:23:00,310 --> 00:23:02,574
No, but this water is teeming
with microbes.
388
00:23:07,851 --> 00:23:10,479
They don't bring losers
to the swag pot!
389
00:23:17,828 --> 00:23:20,558
So this is Spirit River.
We take that to Widowmaker Bend.
390
00:23:20,764 --> 00:23:22,561
And then we hike
the Devil's Staircase,
391
00:23:22,766 --> 00:23:24,734
and that should lead us
to the top of Hellfire Ridge.
392
00:23:24,935 --> 00:23:28,837
What's with all these satanic names?
Isn't there, like, a Fluffy Bunny Way?
393
00:23:29,039 --> 00:23:31,439
No, but there's
a Shut-Up-You-Big-Baby Ridge.
394
00:23:31,642 --> 00:23:33,109
Okay, just keep your eyes open
395
00:23:33,310 --> 00:23:35,505
- for our first day's marker.
- What's that?
396
00:23:35,712 --> 00:23:38,704
It's a rock formation called
Grandpa's Nose.
397
00:23:38,916 --> 00:23:40,406
Grandpa's Nose.
398
00:23:40,617 --> 00:23:42,753
Looking for Grandpa's Nose.
399
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,280
I think I see it! It's right there.
400
00:23:46,923 --> 00:23:48,447
Good work, Dan.
401
00:23:48,658 --> 00:23:51,320
Prepare to port.
I'm gonna drink some beer!
402
00:23:51,528 --> 00:23:54,622
I predict you'll be puking in that river
before the end of the night, Tom.
403
00:23:55,665 --> 00:23:57,132
Dry timber...
404
00:24:00,871 --> 00:24:04,068
Hi there, coalminer's daughter.
You want a hand?
405
00:24:04,274 --> 00:24:07,141
Or you can always try these fancy
new things called "matches. "
406
00:24:07,344 --> 00:24:09,141
I saw how to do this on
the Discovery Channel.
407
00:24:09,346 --> 00:24:11,473
Okay? And I'm gonna do it.
I got it covered.
408
00:24:11,915 --> 00:24:13,542
Oxygen in there...
409
00:24:13,750 --> 00:24:16,617
Get that right combination...
410
00:24:24,594 --> 00:24:26,858
Stop, drop and roll!
411
00:24:29,933 --> 00:24:30,900
Why would you do that?!
412
00:24:31,101 --> 00:24:33,729
I'm with my face right next to the...
And you blow...
413
00:24:33,937 --> 00:24:36,337
- Why would you do that?!
- It's warm.
414
00:24:36,540 --> 00:24:38,167
It's a nice fire.
415
00:24:38,775 --> 00:24:40,140
Hey.
416
00:24:40,811 --> 00:24:42,369
We did it.
417
00:24:42,579 --> 00:24:44,547
I told you.
418
00:24:47,017 --> 00:24:51,078
Do you really wanna hurt me?
419
00:24:51,288 --> 00:24:55,122
Do you really wanna hear this crap?
420
00:24:55,325 --> 00:24:57,691
Please. You liked this song
just as much as I did.
421
00:24:57,894 --> 00:25:00,328
When we were kids,
it didn't matter what the song was.
422
00:25:00,530 --> 00:25:03,260
We weren't wrapped up
in what was cool and uncool.
423
00:25:03,466 --> 00:25:05,263
We just listened to the music.
424
00:25:05,468 --> 00:25:08,096
It should be like that now.
Just listen to the song, man.
425
00:25:13,910 --> 00:25:15,878
This song is so uncool.
426
00:25:16,213 --> 00:25:20,377
- Well, I like it. It soothes me.
- Dan, what is wrong with you?
427
00:25:21,685 --> 00:25:23,277
I'm blessed with good taste.
428
00:25:23,486 --> 00:25:25,647
One day, you'll see,
I've always been correct.
429
00:25:25,856 --> 00:25:30,384
Don't get cocky, 30-year-old Dr. Mott,
with 46 years of school under his belt.
430
00:25:30,594 --> 00:25:33,722
Excuse me for getting an MD
and starting a successful practice.
431
00:25:33,930 --> 00:25:37,525
Excuse me. I found a way to make 12
grand a month without having an MD.
432
00:25:37,734 --> 00:25:39,725
Really? How do you do that?
433
00:25:39,936 --> 00:25:42,166
You running immigrants
over the border again, coyote?
434
00:25:42,372 --> 00:25:44,340
Those guys fell asleep in my truck.
435
00:25:44,541 --> 00:25:48,204
I thought I'd just gotten shitfaced
and bought a bunch of sombreros.
436
00:25:48,411 --> 00:25:51,039
I didn't know there were dudes
underneath.
437
00:25:51,681 --> 00:25:53,114
For real, though?
438
00:25:53,316 --> 00:25:54,908
Selling Harleys.
439
00:25:55,318 --> 00:25:57,809
It's the greatest gig on the planet.
440
00:25:58,288 --> 00:25:59,550
Congrats. I'm happy for you.
441
00:26:00,457 --> 00:26:01,822
Seriously, though,
you guys both sound
442
00:26:02,025 --> 00:26:04,425
- like you're doing great.
- Aren't you?
443
00:26:04,628 --> 00:26:08,325
I just don't know if I'm cut out for
the whole family-wife-kids thing.
444
00:26:08,531 --> 00:26:12,627
I would kill to have a woman at home
willing to have sex with me every night.
445
00:26:13,870 --> 00:26:16,998
At work, I just sit in my office
and I think,
446
00:26:17,207 --> 00:26:19,698
"There's gotta be something better
out there. " You know what I mean?
447
00:26:19,910 --> 00:26:22,936
- I thought you liked your job.
- I like to surf.
448
00:26:23,146 --> 00:26:25,671
Sitting out in the water.
449
00:26:26,283 --> 00:26:28,979
Waiting for that perfect wave.
450
00:26:31,421 --> 00:26:35,016
And I also like being out here.
I like this, right now.
451
00:26:35,392 --> 00:26:39,696
The first time in months,
no worries, no responsibilities.
452
00:26:39,762 --> 00:26:41,855
Just living in the moment.
453
00:26:42,965 --> 00:26:45,263
Just like Billy did.
454
00:26:46,102 --> 00:26:47,626
Hey.
455
00:26:47,837 --> 00:26:49,031
Here's to Billy.
456
00:26:49,238 --> 00:26:50,705
- To our dead friend.
- Get them up.
457
00:26:50,907 --> 00:26:52,374
Tom...
458
00:26:54,477 --> 00:26:58,004
Dano, whatever happened between
you and Cockeyed Katie, anyway?
459
00:26:58,214 --> 00:27:01,445
You know, I don't appreciate the
name-calling. Katie was very attractive.
460
00:27:01,651 --> 00:27:03,482
It was a mutual separation.
461
00:27:03,686 --> 00:27:05,517
Yeah, between her eyes.
462
00:27:05,722 --> 00:27:08,384
That girl had not one,
but two wandering eyes.
463
00:27:09,025 --> 00:27:11,255
It was like her eyes were trying
to escape from her head.
464
00:27:11,761 --> 00:27:14,525
You know, Tom, I'm sorry she wasn't
up to your high standard of women.
465
00:27:14,731 --> 00:27:17,131
No tattoos below the waist,
never worked as a carny.
466
00:27:17,333 --> 00:27:19,631
Name one girlfriend of mine
who worked as a carny.
467
00:27:19,836 --> 00:27:22,737
Jo Jo, the one who had
her downstairs pierced.
468
00:27:22,939 --> 00:27:24,566
Oh, Jo Jo. That's one.
469
00:27:24,774 --> 00:27:26,799
How do you know what she did
with her downstairs?
470
00:27:27,009 --> 00:27:28,033
She had that website:
471
00:27:28,244 --> 00:27:31,338
- JoJosDownstairs. Com.
- That was a good one.
472
00:27:31,547 --> 00:27:33,481
Hey, Dano, let's see what
you packed us for dinner.
473
00:27:33,683 --> 00:27:36,618
- What is this, astronaut food?
- No. It's a vitamin gel pack.
474
00:27:36,819 --> 00:27:39,788
It tastes like watermelon. It's very filling
and it preserves well for camping.
475
00:27:39,989 --> 00:27:42,321
I'm not an astronaut.
I'm an American.
476
00:27:42,759 --> 00:27:45,557
And there's fresh salmon
in that river for the taking.
477
00:27:46,062 --> 00:27:47,461
What?
478
00:27:47,663 --> 00:27:49,631
I'm eating salmon tonight.
479
00:27:49,832 --> 00:27:51,959
That's great, except
we didn't bring any fishing gear.
480
00:27:52,168 --> 00:27:53,294
Don't need any.
481
00:27:55,104 --> 00:27:58,073
- We'll shine them.
- That would kill a fish.
482
00:27:58,274 --> 00:28:01,300
Shine the fish, old Cherokee trick.
483
00:28:01,511 --> 00:28:05,538
I forgot the Cherokee had been using
the flashlight for thousands of years.
484
00:28:05,748 --> 00:28:07,773
No, didn't they pioneer the D battery?
485
00:28:07,984 --> 00:28:09,110
All right, suckers.
486
00:28:09,318 --> 00:28:12,913
Let's see who's eating salmon tonight
and who's eating crow.
487
00:28:13,122 --> 00:28:16,649
- Do you have a crow-catching trick?
- Yuk it up, astronauts.
488
00:28:16,859 --> 00:28:18,918
They love figure eights.
489
00:28:19,128 --> 00:28:21,289
Hey, 100 grand
and my left nut says
490
00:28:21,497 --> 00:28:23,829
the only thing you catch
out there is a cold.
491
00:28:24,033 --> 00:28:26,331
Got it! Grab it!
492
00:28:27,403 --> 00:28:29,200
What are you doing?!
493
00:28:29,872 --> 00:28:31,863
- Fantastic.
- Can you do that again?
494
00:28:32,074 --> 00:28:34,702
You owe me 100 grand
and the left nut.
495
00:28:34,911 --> 00:28:36,469
Are you gonna catch it
when I throw it up?
496
00:28:36,679 --> 00:28:38,613
- Yeah, yeah!
- Yeah, yeah, come on!
497
00:28:38,815 --> 00:28:43,149
I'm gonna have to use a distinct pattern
now. They got used to the figure eight.
498
00:28:44,387 --> 00:28:47,481
It's gonna be tough, but I'll focus.
499
00:28:48,591 --> 00:28:50,058
What the hell are you doing?
500
00:28:50,359 --> 00:28:52,953
I toss it, you grab it.
That's your part of the deal.
501
00:28:55,097 --> 00:28:56,621
What?
502
00:28:59,702 --> 00:29:01,863
- What are you doing?
- I'm taking off my shoes.
503
00:29:02,071 --> 00:29:04,835
- Why?
- Because I run faster with no shoes.
504
00:29:05,041 --> 00:29:08,010
- You can't outrun that bear.
- I don't have to outrun the bear.
505
00:29:08,211 --> 00:29:10,145
I just have to outrun you.
506
00:29:10,346 --> 00:29:11,540
Stay calm.
507
00:29:11,747 --> 00:29:14,682
It's important that you don't
let them smell your fear.
508
00:29:14,884 --> 00:29:17,910
- Just follow my lead.
- What are you gonna do?
509
00:29:20,189 --> 00:29:22,851
It's a bear! We're all gonna die!
510
00:29:23,426 --> 00:29:25,018
Run!
511
00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:31,822
Keep going!
512
00:29:44,881 --> 00:29:46,280
Get out!
513
00:29:46,482 --> 00:29:47,676
- Go away! Go!
- Get out!
514
00:29:52,655 --> 00:29:55,954
- Stay calm. Get in the fetal position.
- Oh, God.
515
00:29:56,158 --> 00:29:59,093
It won't bother you
if you're in the fetal position.
516
00:30:05,434 --> 00:30:08,926
- Nothing's gonna happen now.
- Is he gone? Is he gone?
517
00:30:09,138 --> 00:30:11,231
Abort the fetal position!
It's not working!
518
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:12,464
- It's not working!
- Run!
519
00:30:12,675 --> 00:30:14,438
No...
520
00:30:17,647 --> 00:30:19,274
The bear thinks Dan's her cub.
521
00:30:28,824 --> 00:30:30,223
What do we do now?
522
00:30:36,365 --> 00:30:40,131
Stay... Stay down.
Don't make eye contact.
523
00:30:42,071 --> 00:30:44,062
- Help me!
- Let's go.
524
00:30:44,273 --> 00:30:46,400
This is bad. This is really bad.
Do something.
525
00:30:46,609 --> 00:30:48,941
- Go first.
- No, you go first.
526
00:30:55,084 --> 00:30:57,575
Hey. Where's the bear?
527
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,694
He's trying to fatten Dan up
so they can hibernate together.
528
00:31:22,645 --> 00:31:25,944
Chew it up and eat it.
529
00:31:26,148 --> 00:31:27,672
Eat it.
530
00:31:36,959 --> 00:31:39,291
- Stop pretending.
- Dan, you have to eat it.
531
00:31:39,495 --> 00:31:41,622
You have to actually eat it.
532
00:31:41,831 --> 00:31:44,231
- Okay.
- Bite.
533
00:31:45,968 --> 00:31:47,560
Eat it.
534
00:32:01,017 --> 00:32:03,577
It's delicious. Very good, thank you.
535
00:32:03,786 --> 00:32:05,879
Is there another one?
536
00:32:08,324 --> 00:32:11,782
That was good. That was real good.
537
00:32:14,497 --> 00:32:16,556
- Let's go.
- Okay.
538
00:32:20,703 --> 00:32:22,762
- Move, move, move.
- Up the tree.
539
00:32:29,445 --> 00:32:32,380
- Your mom misses you.
- She's in my stuff.
540
00:32:33,082 --> 00:32:37,451
Hey, that's my phone.
She ate my phone.
541
00:32:37,887 --> 00:32:40,685
How long do you think
she'll keep looking for me?
542
00:32:40,890 --> 00:32:43,017
Hour, hour and a half, tops.
543
00:32:43,359 --> 00:32:46,954
Bears have very short attention spans.
I know a guy who trains them.
544
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,272
What was that?
545
00:33:08,117 --> 00:33:11,814
I don't know, but it scared away
our friend. Let's get out of here.
546
00:33:13,656 --> 00:33:16,216
What do you think could happen
if this thing went off right in the boat?
547
00:33:16,425 --> 00:33:18,393
- You think we'd die?
- I think you throw it right now.
548
00:33:18,727 --> 00:33:20,490
What if I toss it to you
and then you throw it?
549
00:33:20,696 --> 00:33:22,789
Elwood, throw it!
550
00:33:25,901 --> 00:33:28,529
- Cue the insane hillbillies.
- What are these freaks doing?
551
00:33:28,737 --> 00:33:29,931
They're fishing.
552
00:33:30,139 --> 00:33:32,767
Why aren't they using
their flashlights, Tom?
553
00:33:34,009 --> 00:33:36,876
This is exactly what you hear about
when people go into the deep woods
554
00:33:37,079 --> 00:33:38,740
in the middle of summertime.
Aside from getting all sorts
555
00:33:38,948 --> 00:33:40,973
of diseases and things,
they just wind up being the victims
556
00:33:41,183 --> 00:33:42,582
of some kind of
unexpected man-rape.
557
00:33:42,785 --> 00:33:44,980
How you like me now, boy?
558
00:33:45,187 --> 00:33:48,588
- I don't like this...
- Quiet. Go, go.
559
00:33:49,692 --> 00:33:50,920
She ate everything.
560
00:33:51,127 --> 00:33:52,890
Including my very expensive
cell phone.
561
00:33:53,095 --> 00:33:56,292
All right, let's load up.
There's treasure in them hills.
562
00:33:56,499 --> 00:33:58,933
Wait a minute, you're not actually
considering continuing, are you?
563
00:33:59,135 --> 00:34:00,762
- Why not?
- Well, because I just...
564
00:34:00,970 --> 00:34:04,565
I got carried away by a bear. And then
we spent the night sleeping in a tree.
565
00:34:04,773 --> 00:34:06,866
Well, we got that out of the way.
566
00:34:07,076 --> 00:34:08,373
Now we can get back on the river.
567
00:34:08,577 --> 00:34:10,943
There comes a time
in every cub's life
568
00:34:11,147 --> 00:34:13,638
when he needs to strike out
and make it on his own.
569
00:34:13,916 --> 00:34:14,883
Fine.
570
00:34:15,084 --> 00:34:18,713
Fine. But I say we avoid them and we
launch around the bend there, okay?
571
00:34:18,921 --> 00:34:22,322
All right, all right. Heave-ho.
572
00:34:22,958 --> 00:34:26,621
They call this portage. Or portage.
573
00:34:27,196 --> 00:34:30,188
- What's the map say, Jerry?
- You know, it's a map.
574
00:34:30,966 --> 00:34:33,799
It's gonna be... It's gonna be good.
575
00:34:34,570 --> 00:34:36,800
Jer, isn't the river supposed to fork?
576
00:34:37,006 --> 00:34:39,998
No. It just goes straight
the whole way. Straight shot.
577
00:34:40,609 --> 00:34:41,837
Are you sure?
578
00:34:42,044 --> 00:34:44,877
We are back in business, boys.
579
00:34:47,116 --> 00:34:49,516
All right. Let's rudder back.
580
00:34:49,919 --> 00:34:51,011
Bring the tail out.
581
00:34:54,123 --> 00:34:57,991
- It's getting kind of rough, Tom.
- Not bad, I've been in much worse.
582
00:34:59,094 --> 00:35:00,652
Really?
583
00:35:00,863 --> 00:35:02,990
Not a good time to read a map, Jer.
584
00:35:03,732 --> 00:35:07,031
Guys, I wanna pull over. I need
to take some Dramamine...
585
00:35:07,236 --> 00:35:09,500
I got the stern. Work the bow,
work the bow, Jer.
586
00:35:09,972 --> 00:35:12,167
Guys, let's pull over.
587
00:35:12,474 --> 00:35:15,102
This is exactly what you'd expect.
We're doing great.
588
00:35:15,544 --> 00:35:17,739
Tom, guide us to the bank.
589
00:35:18,047 --> 00:35:20,880
- Watch the current.
- Trees! Trees left!
590
00:35:25,955 --> 00:35:28,048
No problem.
That's typical river behavior.
591
00:35:28,257 --> 00:35:31,420
Rocks! Rocks! Keep rowing!
592
00:35:31,627 --> 00:35:33,424
I'm not having the fun
you promised me!
593
00:35:33,629 --> 00:35:35,494
Just keep rowing!
594
00:35:40,502 --> 00:35:42,197
- Follow my lead!
- Terrible!
595
00:35:42,404 --> 00:35:43,894
Same stroke, same stroke!
596
00:35:44,340 --> 00:35:45,773
- Tom?
- Yes?
597
00:35:45,975 --> 00:35:48,068
- It's getting big.
- No problem.
598
00:35:48,277 --> 00:35:49,710
Like, real big.
599
00:35:51,747 --> 00:35:53,544
- I'm in over my head!
- What?!
600
00:35:53,749 --> 00:35:55,649
- Don't tell me that!
- I'm in over my head!
601
00:35:55,951 --> 00:35:57,179
Please don't tell me that!
602
00:35:57,386 --> 00:36:00,389
Forward! No, backstroke,
backstroke!
603
00:36:01,857 --> 00:36:03,722
Come on!
604
00:36:12,534 --> 00:36:13,865
Dano!
605
00:36:14,069 --> 00:36:15,093
Tom!
606
00:36:16,471 --> 00:36:17,733
Help!
607
00:36:21,109 --> 00:36:24,601
Jerry! Help!
608
00:36:26,214 --> 00:36:28,011
- Dan! I'm coming!
- Can you see me?
609
00:36:28,216 --> 00:36:30,309
- Dan!
- Jerry!
610
00:36:30,886 --> 00:36:33,047
- Dano!
- Throw it! Jer!
611
00:36:33,255 --> 00:36:35,018
Catch the rope!
612
00:36:36,258 --> 00:36:37,748
I got you!
613
00:36:44,399 --> 00:36:46,731
- Dan, come on, baby, I got you.
- Hypothermia!
614
00:36:46,968 --> 00:36:49,198
- I'm gonna get hypothermia!
- Come on!
615
00:36:50,906 --> 00:36:53,739
You all right? Hold on.
616
00:36:53,942 --> 00:36:56,570
- Tom! Tommy!
- Tom!
617
00:36:56,778 --> 00:36:58,040
In here, boys!
618
00:37:03,218 --> 00:37:05,049
We made it!
619
00:37:05,754 --> 00:37:07,915
That's how you go down the rapids!
620
00:37:08,123 --> 00:37:09,852
- Better get in.
- Get up.
621
00:37:12,994 --> 00:37:16,157
- I about shit. Did you about shit?
- I about shit.
622
00:37:16,364 --> 00:37:18,264
- I did shit.
- Oh, shit.
623
00:37:18,467 --> 00:37:20,094
- Oh, shit? What "oh, shit"?
- What? What, what?
624
00:37:21,203 --> 00:37:29,770
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, shit!
625
00:37:35,317 --> 00:37:37,342
I don't believe this, man.
626
00:37:41,223 --> 00:37:42,451
Tom...
627
00:37:42,757 --> 00:37:45,487
- Where were you a river guide?
- San Dimas.
628
00:37:45,727 --> 00:37:47,854
- Raging Waters?
- Yeah.
629
00:37:48,063 --> 00:37:49,621
They had some serious
rapids there, man.
630
00:37:49,831 --> 00:37:52,664
- What, class "toddler"?
- Hey, I was employee of the month
631
00:37:52,868 --> 00:37:54,199
at the Monsoon Lagoon.
632
00:37:54,402 --> 00:37:55,960
- I knew you were lying.
- Great.
633
00:37:56,171 --> 00:37:57,468
- Oh, you did?
- I knew it.
634
00:37:57,672 --> 00:38:00,300
Well, you're the reason
that we had to launch the boat
635
00:38:00,509 --> 00:38:01,635
in the wrong part of the river.
636
00:38:01,843 --> 00:38:03,674
Hey, I am not
the navigator-map guy.
637
00:38:03,912 --> 00:38:06,779
Okay, Jerry, didn't you see
on the map that the river split?
638
00:38:07,115 --> 00:38:10,983
I would've, if your friend,
the big-ass bear, didn't eat the map.
639
00:38:11,186 --> 00:38:13,017
Hold on a sec. Tom?
640
00:38:13,221 --> 00:38:14,848
Were you really
employee of the month?
641
00:38:15,056 --> 00:38:17,854
No. I lied about that too.
642
00:38:18,393 --> 00:38:20,827
I must have been crazy. I...
643
00:38:21,162 --> 00:38:24,620
All right. This trip is officially over.
This is finished! Let's...
644
00:38:24,966 --> 00:38:28,163
- Let's just go home.
- I agree. That's a great decision.
645
00:38:28,370 --> 00:38:31,396
All we gotta do is jump up over
that 100-foot waterfall,
646
00:38:31,606 --> 00:38:34,268
swim upstream 20 miles,
get the sheriff on the phone...
647
00:38:34,476 --> 00:38:37,172
He liked us, I remember. And he'll
send out a rescue boat. And...
648
00:38:37,379 --> 00:38:40,371
Hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool.
649
00:38:40,615 --> 00:38:42,742
Look at this, it's cold.
650
00:38:43,852 --> 00:38:46,412
We are in serious trouble, my friends.
651
00:38:46,922 --> 00:38:49,516
All data points to us being...
How do you humans say it?
652
00:38:49,724 --> 00:38:50,986
Completely screwed?
653
00:38:51,192 --> 00:38:54,025
Yeah. You know, that is...
That's a good way to say it.
654
00:38:54,229 --> 00:38:55,890
I mean, it pretty much sums it up.
655
00:38:56,097 --> 00:38:58,861
I suspect Tom is drunk.
I didn't wanna say anything,
656
00:38:59,067 --> 00:39:00,091
- because he's such a live wire...
- You guys, we're fine.
657
00:39:00,302 --> 00:39:02,793
We got the compass.
I've got Billy's compass!
658
00:39:03,004 --> 00:39:05,666
Look, that's east, west, north.
659
00:39:06,274 --> 00:39:08,037
- That's south.
- That's south! That's south!
660
00:39:08,243 --> 00:39:09,938
That's great!
661
00:39:10,412 --> 00:39:12,004
- What?
- Sorry.
662
00:39:12,213 --> 00:39:14,078
It only works with the map.
663
00:39:14,316 --> 00:39:16,580
So you're saying you lost the map?
You don't have it?
664
00:39:16,785 --> 00:39:19,310
No. I'm saying I forgot
to hold on to it while my ass
665
00:39:19,521 --> 00:39:21,648
was free-falling
over a 100-foot waterfall.
666
00:39:21,856 --> 00:39:23,721
So you don't have it?
667
00:39:25,327 --> 00:39:27,295
Hey, do you hear that?
668
00:39:27,896 --> 00:39:31,024
- Oh, hell, yeah.
- Hey, that sounds like Creed.
669
00:39:31,232 --> 00:39:35,328
I never thought I'd be happy to hear
anything that sounds like Creed.
670
00:39:38,940 --> 00:39:40,498
Lights.
671
00:39:43,244 --> 00:39:45,712
Thank you, God. Civilization.
672
00:39:45,914 --> 00:39:47,381
- Look at that.
- They have a fire.
673
00:39:47,582 --> 00:39:51,814
- You think they're cooking food?
- I hope so. I am starving.
674
00:39:56,391 --> 00:39:59,326
- Damn it, Elwood. This blade is dull.
- Ain't my fault.
675
00:40:01,796 --> 00:40:03,423
- See how I popped off that fish head?
- What is it?
676
00:40:03,632 --> 00:40:05,657
I told you not to use my buck knife.
677
00:40:05,867 --> 00:40:07,960
How you like me now, fish?
678
00:40:08,169 --> 00:40:10,330
You ain't so tough
without a head, huh?
679
00:40:11,373 --> 00:40:13,603
Oh, what's that? You can't hear me?
680
00:40:14,009 --> 00:40:15,442
That's right, because
you don't have ears,
681
00:40:15,644 --> 00:40:17,908
because you don't have a head,
because I cut it off!
682
00:40:20,148 --> 00:40:22,673
Okay, that's... I mean,
that's a little weird, right?
683
00:40:22,884 --> 00:40:23,851
We should get out of here.
684
00:40:24,686 --> 00:40:26,347
Listen, I say we just try talking...
685
00:40:27,288 --> 00:40:28,448
Shut it.
686
00:40:29,491 --> 00:40:31,425
The hell was that?
687
00:40:34,095 --> 00:40:35,392
- Is that a gun?
- That's a gun.
688
00:40:51,112 --> 00:40:53,046
Must've been a possum.
689
00:40:53,248 --> 00:40:55,716
Boll weevil.
690
00:40:55,917 --> 00:40:59,785
- Guns and fish heads...
- It's okay, Dano, relax.
691
00:40:59,988 --> 00:41:02,889
We'll just lay low.
We'll get out of here in a second.
692
00:41:03,792 --> 00:41:05,157
- Hey.
- Yeah?
693
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:09,456
- These guys are pot farmers.
- What? How do you know that?
694
00:41:15,303 --> 00:41:18,067
Oh, boy. We should go.
695
00:41:20,108 --> 00:41:22,167
Lynyrd. Skynyrd. Come here.
696
00:41:27,916 --> 00:41:30,009
There you go, spoiling them dogs.
697
00:41:30,218 --> 00:41:31,981
Lots of vitamins in these fish heads.
698
00:41:33,655 --> 00:41:37,421
Look at that. Skynyrd likes fish heads
almost as much as you do.
699
00:41:37,625 --> 00:41:39,252
Do you think they saw us?
700
00:41:39,461 --> 00:41:41,588
No, I don't.
701
00:41:46,034 --> 00:41:47,763
- What are you doing?
- What?
702
00:41:47,969 --> 00:41:49,630
I'll write you a prescription. Let's go.
703
00:41:49,838 --> 00:41:51,965
- Come on.
- All right.
704
00:42:00,915 --> 00:42:02,712
On my go. Ready?
705
00:42:08,590 --> 00:42:10,490
Go, go, back here. Come on.
706
00:42:14,329 --> 00:42:16,297
Hey, guys.
707
00:42:16,498 --> 00:42:17,760
Listen. We don't want any trouble.
708
00:42:18,233 --> 00:42:21,566
We just got lost on the river,
you know?
709
00:42:21,770 --> 00:42:23,101
Hey, can we use your phone?
710
00:42:23,438 --> 00:42:24,632
Oh, of course.
711
00:42:24,839 --> 00:42:26,773
And... Who cares, you know?
712
00:42:33,548 --> 00:42:37,450
- Let's go through there.
- Where? There's no door.
713
00:42:41,022 --> 00:42:43,752
- Lynyrd, Skynyrd. Get them.
- Come on, Dano.
714
00:42:45,660 --> 00:42:47,218
- Good work, buddy.
- Thanks.
715
00:42:47,662 --> 00:42:49,960
- Let's go.
- Come on, Dano.
716
00:42:50,932 --> 00:42:52,024
Come on!
717
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,500
Go, go, go!
718
00:43:00,608 --> 00:43:02,269
What did you do?
719
00:43:03,178 --> 00:43:05,305
Why are there flares?
720
00:43:06,414 --> 00:43:09,440
Great mother of ganja.
721
00:43:09,651 --> 00:43:11,585
Come on! I see them! I got them!
722
00:43:11,786 --> 00:43:14,448
- Hey, boys, come back here.
- We ain't gonna hurt you boys!
723
00:43:14,656 --> 00:43:17,523
- Just wanna talk to you.
- There they are. Right there.
724
00:43:18,459 --> 00:43:21,428
Damn it, you head to the left.
I'll cut them off.
725
00:43:22,831 --> 00:43:24,765
- Go, go, go!
- They're shooting!
726
00:43:25,834 --> 00:43:28,166
I think I got them, Dennis!
727
00:43:28,736 --> 00:43:30,203
They're shooting at us! Run!
728
00:43:31,039 --> 00:43:33,803
Come on, Dennis, I'm gonna get them!
729
00:43:42,483 --> 00:43:44,747
Damn it! I can't see nothing
through this smoke!
730
00:43:44,986 --> 00:43:47,784
- We're dead. We're dead.
- We're dead.
731
00:43:49,123 --> 00:43:52,991
- We're dead!
- They're gonna... They're gonna...
732
00:43:57,165 --> 00:43:58,359
We're gonna die...
733
00:44:00,501 --> 00:44:03,231
You set the security flares
too close, Elwood.
734
00:44:03,438 --> 00:44:05,372
The whole damn field's on fire.
735
00:44:05,573 --> 00:44:08,565
Where the hell are the damn dogs?!
736
00:44:11,312 --> 00:44:13,678
You guys gotta promise me that you'll
never tell my patients that I got stoned,
737
00:44:13,882 --> 00:44:16,476
because if they found out I got stoned,
they'll think that I'm a stoner.
738
00:44:16,684 --> 00:44:18,481
The next thing you know,
I won't have a license anymore.
739
00:44:18,686 --> 00:44:21,621
They'll take away all my instruments
and my coat and my office,
740
00:44:21,823 --> 00:44:23,586
and I won't have
a parking space anymore.
741
00:44:23,791 --> 00:44:27,056
I just don't wanna lose all my stuff.
I lost my legs...
742
00:44:33,134 --> 00:44:35,898
Oh, great. We got us
a couple of weed freaks.
743
00:44:36,537 --> 00:44:38,801
The hell are they looking at?
744
00:44:39,707 --> 00:44:41,436
Get up, you stoner dogs!
745
00:44:43,745 --> 00:44:47,875
Get up. You gotta move
your legs. Move your legs.
746
00:44:48,650 --> 00:44:50,379
I think I see them.
747
00:44:50,885 --> 00:44:53,353
They got laser scopes.
They had you pinned.
748
00:44:53,855 --> 00:44:55,413
Dudes.
749
00:44:55,623 --> 00:44:58,956
Dudes, dudes. Seriously. Seriously.
750
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:03,688
I will give you four cows
for Denise's hand in marriage.
751
00:45:06,067 --> 00:45:08,228
I'll give them something
to laugh about.
752
00:45:22,250 --> 00:45:23,740
Matrix.
753
00:45:26,354 --> 00:45:28,151
My back.
754
00:45:28,356 --> 00:45:29,880
Cut them off at the river.
755
00:45:30,091 --> 00:45:32,059
Jerry, Jerry.
756
00:45:33,194 --> 00:45:36,357
Billy. Jesus, Billy.
757
00:45:36,564 --> 00:45:39,499
- I miss you.
- You gonna find D.B.'s treasure?
758
00:45:39,701 --> 00:45:41,601
I'm just trying to make it out
of here alive.
759
00:45:41,803 --> 00:45:45,569
Don't give up. Keep looking.
Hey, is it cool to be a grown-up?
760
00:45:45,773 --> 00:45:47,001
Not really, my man.
761
00:45:47,208 --> 00:45:50,507
Stop. Stop. You're gonna run into...
762
00:45:54,949 --> 00:45:56,473
We can't outrun them.
We gotta hide.
763
00:45:56,684 --> 00:45:59,016
- Quick, hide.
- How? How?
764
00:45:59,220 --> 00:46:00,847
Let's get them!
765
00:46:04,192 --> 00:46:08,185
Man, our whole crop is burning!
Those assholes are dead!
766
00:46:08,429 --> 00:46:10,454
And the bodies that are attached
to them are dead too!
767
00:46:10,665 --> 00:46:12,530
Dead! D-E-A-D! Dead!
768
00:46:12,734 --> 00:46:16,465
- Assholes! A-S-S-H-O...
- Stop spelling!
769
00:46:16,671 --> 00:46:19,265
- Come on, you're dead!
- We're gonna get you!
770
00:46:19,474 --> 00:46:23,467
- You can only run so far!
- And you can never hide!
771
00:46:38,092 --> 00:46:40,959
- Bullfrogs.
- I hate bullfrogs. They're nasty.
772
00:46:44,399 --> 00:46:45,889
Don't waste the ammo.
773
00:46:46,467 --> 00:46:49,630
Come on, they must've headed up
towards the river.
774
00:46:57,512 --> 00:47:00,072
- It crawled straight in my stomach.
- Let's go.
775
00:47:00,648 --> 00:47:03,549
I think it laid eggs in my stomach.
776
00:47:11,492 --> 00:47:12,857
You think they're still following us?
777
00:47:13,061 --> 00:47:15,697
I don't wanna stop and find out.
Just keep going.
778
00:47:17,365 --> 00:47:20,823
It's not all burnt.
I think we're gonna be okay.
779
00:47:21,035 --> 00:47:22,059
- You think?
- Yeah.
780
00:47:22,270 --> 00:47:24,329
- You think?
- Yeah.
781
00:47:25,306 --> 00:47:29,970
Damn it. It's all burnt. I knew it,
Dennis. It's all burnt. Every bit.
782
00:47:30,178 --> 00:47:32,976
- They burned it.
- Oh, yeah. It's all burnt.
783
00:47:33,181 --> 00:47:36,582
The whole damn field is burnt.
But we got a bigger problem, Elwood!
784
00:47:36,784 --> 00:47:39,844
We got three bona fide yuppies
out there,
785
00:47:40,054 --> 00:47:42,579
lost somewhere,
and we gotta track them.
786
00:47:42,790 --> 00:47:45,759
We gotta catch them
and we gotta kill them.
787
00:47:46,427 --> 00:47:50,193
I think we can slow down. I haven't
heard dogs or guns for hours.
788
00:47:50,398 --> 00:47:52,832
Yeah? You slow down, get a stick
of dynamite up your ass.
789
00:47:53,034 --> 00:47:56,003
Calm down, Daniel,
we're gonna be all right.
790
00:47:56,204 --> 00:47:57,535
No, we're not, Jerry.
791
00:47:58,072 --> 00:47:59,630
We could really die out here.
792
00:47:59,841 --> 00:48:01,809
Man, I can't believe
that I would listen to you guys.
793
00:48:02,176 --> 00:48:04,406
"Let's go take Billy's trip.
794
00:48:04,612 --> 00:48:07,206
Let's... Let's find D.B.'s treasure.
795
00:48:07,415 --> 00:48:09,110
I'll get a canoe. I'll get some rope. "
796
00:48:09,317 --> 00:48:10,784
- Is he all right?
- "Lt'll be great. "
797
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,711
- "We'll find D.B.'s treasure!" Right.
- Is he having a panic attack?
798
00:48:14,922 --> 00:48:15,889
- I don't know.
- That's great.
799
00:48:16,090 --> 00:48:17,682
Make jokes. That's a really good idea.
800
00:48:18,092 --> 00:48:20,151
Is this living in the moment
enough for you, Jerry?
801
00:48:20,361 --> 00:48:23,125
Is this the carefree life with no
responsibility that you wanted?
802
00:48:23,331 --> 00:48:27,290
Is this the...? Is this the great wilderness
adventure that you were dreaming of?
803
00:48:27,502 --> 00:48:30,266
How should I be, Dr. Dan? Tell me.
804
00:48:30,471 --> 00:48:32,598
- Be afraid.
- I am afraid.
805
00:48:32,807 --> 00:48:36,265
Well, then, act like it! It is very
confusing to people in your life
806
00:48:36,477 --> 00:48:38,172
when you don't act the way
that you're feeling!
807
00:48:38,412 --> 00:48:40,004
No wonder Denise
is fed up with you.
808
00:48:40,214 --> 00:48:43,115
- What did you say?
- Don't you step to me.
809
00:48:43,317 --> 00:48:45,717
- Put your hands down.
- You take it easy.
810
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:50,448
Mr. Joe-Tattoo, Mr. Motorcycle-Man,
Mr. Super-Cool, Mr. Bullet-Wound...
811
00:48:51,192 --> 00:48:54,923
- Oh, my... Tom, you got shot.
- Oh, cool.
812
00:48:55,129 --> 00:48:57,324
- He got shot?
- Yeah. Come here.
813
00:48:58,232 --> 00:49:00,132
- Are you all right?
- You could lose a roll of pennies
814
00:49:00,334 --> 00:49:01,926
in that thing. Look at how deep it is.
815
00:49:02,136 --> 00:49:04,070
It just grazed you. You're really lucky.
816
00:49:04,305 --> 00:49:06,773
Oh, wow, that's gonna be
a great scar.
817
00:49:06,974 --> 00:49:08,810
I'm gonna stitch it up good.
818
00:49:25,459 --> 00:49:26,721
Lose the cleaver.
819
00:49:26,928 --> 00:49:28,919
Meat cleaver's my favorite.
820
00:49:29,130 --> 00:49:31,598
It's scary, but ultimately ineffective.
Lose it.
821
00:49:31,799 --> 00:49:34,666
Now, Dennis, you don't understand...
822
00:49:34,869 --> 00:49:37,030
Them three boys get back to town,
823
00:49:37,238 --> 00:49:40,901
you're gonna spend the next 40 years
in the can getting manhandled.
824
00:49:41,209 --> 00:49:43,200
Quit messing around.
825
00:49:43,411 --> 00:49:44,537
Lose the cleaver.
826
00:49:48,182 --> 00:49:50,275
I love the cleaver.
827
00:49:51,385 --> 00:49:53,751
You'll be good as new. Sorry.
828
00:49:56,057 --> 00:49:57,684
Hey, Dano.
829
00:49:58,492 --> 00:50:00,016
I'm sorry I got you into this.
830
00:50:00,394 --> 00:50:03,261
- I really am.
- Jerry, I wanted to come.
831
00:50:03,464 --> 00:50:06,228
Well, we're getting out of it. I promise.
And when we do,
832
00:50:06,434 --> 00:50:07,867
someone's buying
the first round. Not it.
833
00:50:08,069 --> 00:50:10,094
- Not it.
- Tom, I think you're buying
834
00:50:10,304 --> 00:50:14,001
with all that... All that Harley money.
Oh, God, it's making me sick.
835
00:50:14,675 --> 00:50:17,109
I'm sorry, I...
836
00:50:17,612 --> 00:50:19,204
That whole thing
was an exaggeration.
837
00:50:19,413 --> 00:50:22,871
- What, you don't make that much?
- No, I don't sell Harleys.
838
00:50:23,084 --> 00:50:27,180
In fact, the only thing I've sold lately
is some clothes and CDs.
839
00:50:27,388 --> 00:50:28,912
They weren't even mine.
840
00:50:29,123 --> 00:50:31,751
Tom, that's not an exaggeration,
that's a lie.
841
00:50:31,993 --> 00:50:34,484
- You know, you lie a lot.
- I know.
842
00:50:35,062 --> 00:50:36,620
What happened?
843
00:50:36,864 --> 00:50:40,630
Well, first it was blackjack.
Then the cards went south.
844
00:50:40,835 --> 00:50:43,804
So then I started betting
football and baseball.
845
00:50:44,005 --> 00:50:45,700
I lost everything.
846
00:50:45,907 --> 00:50:48,273
What'd I expect?
I got no luck, Jerry.
847
00:50:48,476 --> 00:50:51,934
It's like my old man used to say,
"Family curse.
848
00:50:52,146 --> 00:50:54,307
If we didn't have bad luck,
we wouldn't have luck at all. "
849
00:50:54,515 --> 00:50:56,642
You have got to stop
blaming your old man.
850
00:50:56,851 --> 00:50:57,943
I'm not blaming anyone.
851
00:50:58,152 --> 00:51:00,177
Yeah, you are. Listen to yourself.
"The family curse. "
852
00:51:00,388 --> 00:51:02,686
Yeah, it's real. I'm a great gambler.
853
00:51:02,890 --> 00:51:04,983
I will give you one thing:
Your dad was a piece of work.
854
00:51:05,192 --> 00:51:07,558
I mean, he had his own things
going on.
855
00:51:08,029 --> 00:51:09,519
But if he did one thing right,
856
00:51:10,064 --> 00:51:12,965
it was not raising a complete idiot.
You're not him, Tommy.
857
00:51:13,167 --> 00:51:15,499
You're a lot smarter, for one thing.
858
00:51:16,537 --> 00:51:17,697
Right, Dano?
859
00:51:21,676 --> 00:51:24,144
Well, I wouldn't say a lot smarter.
860
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:29,777
Tom, you have a lot more
going for you than you think you do.
861
00:51:30,217 --> 00:51:33,118
That's easy for you to say, Dano.
You're a freaking doctor.
862
00:51:33,321 --> 00:51:37,087
I mean, you got a big old
bank account, a ginormous house,
863
00:51:37,291 --> 00:51:38,883
- big, thick red hair...
- You know what?
864
00:51:39,093 --> 00:51:40,788
I wouldn't be so jealous of me
if I were you.
865
00:51:40,995 --> 00:51:44,487
Every day I develop some
new and exciting phobia.
866
00:51:44,699 --> 00:51:46,530
You're exaggerating again.
867
00:51:46,734 --> 00:51:47,826
I'm afraid of the dark, Jerry.
868
00:51:48,035 --> 00:51:50,367
So? There's a lot of people
that are afraid of the dark.
869
00:51:50,571 --> 00:51:52,505
- I know a shitload.
- I'm afraid of small spaces.
870
00:51:52,707 --> 00:51:54,265
Again, not that abnormal.
871
00:51:54,542 --> 00:51:57,102
- Cellophane.
- Like Saran Wrap?
872
00:51:57,311 --> 00:51:59,336
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you're alone on that one.
873
00:51:59,547 --> 00:52:01,913
See, I won't even keep it
in the house anymore,
874
00:52:02,116 --> 00:52:05,347
because I'm afraid somehow it'll get,
like, draped over my head
875
00:52:05,553 --> 00:52:09,045
and stick to my mouth and nose
and I'll... I'll suffocate.
876
00:52:09,256 --> 00:52:11,520
- How pathetic is that?
- Very.
877
00:52:15,496 --> 00:52:17,623
Relax, you're almost through.
878
00:52:17,999 --> 00:52:21,833
There you go. Hey, would one
of you guys grab my? Phone. My...
879
00:52:22,036 --> 00:52:23,526
That's a phone.
880
00:52:24,705 --> 00:52:27,037
- It's that way.
- Phone!
881
00:52:27,508 --> 00:52:29,100
How did your phone
get all the way up here?
882
00:52:29,310 --> 00:52:31,369
- Who cares?
- That last thing I remember, it was...
883
00:52:34,515 --> 00:52:38,542
- Go, go, go!
- That bear loves you, Dano!
884
00:52:38,753 --> 00:52:41,881
Whiskey Dick, this is Lightning
Company. Come in, Whiskey Dick.
885
00:52:42,089 --> 00:52:47,891
We are on the move and loaded
for bear. Come back, come back...
886
00:52:48,562 --> 00:52:51,292
- Why'd you stop?
- Right there.
887
00:52:51,499 --> 00:52:52,898
Footprints.
888
00:52:55,069 --> 00:52:56,434
Oh, it's theirs.
889
00:52:57,705 --> 00:52:59,172
It's weird.
890
00:53:00,307 --> 00:53:03,242
Footprints with no people in them.
891
00:53:03,444 --> 00:53:05,036
I mean...
892
00:53:05,479 --> 00:53:07,709
..it's like it's them,
893
00:53:07,915 --> 00:53:10,179
but it's not them,
you know what I mean?
894
00:53:10,384 --> 00:53:11,942
Rarely.
895
00:53:12,186 --> 00:53:13,915
Get on your wheeler.
896
00:53:14,455 --> 00:53:17,618
Hold on a second, guys.
You know what we should do?
897
00:53:17,825 --> 00:53:19,520
We're gonna climb the tree.
898
00:53:19,727 --> 00:53:23,219
We'll climb the tree, get a good look
at the land, maybe we'll see a road
899
00:53:23,431 --> 00:53:24,523
or a way out of here.
900
00:53:24,732 --> 00:53:27,166
Yeah, I'll go. Give me a boost.
901
00:53:27,368 --> 00:53:29,893
Oh, hey, Tom, wait.
You can use these.
902
00:53:30,104 --> 00:53:31,298
Thanks.
903
00:53:31,572 --> 00:53:34,097
Please, just be careful.
904
00:53:36,010 --> 00:53:38,535
Are you maintaining
a safe distance back there?
905
00:53:38,746 --> 00:53:41,112
Yeah, two-second rule, I know.
906
00:53:42,349 --> 00:53:45,375
- Do you see anything?
- Hey, guys!
907
00:53:45,853 --> 00:53:47,946
This is really cool!
908
00:53:48,289 --> 00:53:49,756
What is he doing up there?
909
00:53:50,491 --> 00:53:52,959
Tommy, you see a road?
910
00:53:53,928 --> 00:53:55,953
Any signs of life?
911
00:53:57,865 --> 00:54:00,561
Are you kidding me?
912
00:54:01,035 --> 00:54:02,297
Tommy?
913
00:54:02,736 --> 00:54:05,569
Tom, do you see anything or not?
914
00:54:10,144 --> 00:54:12,271
I think I might still be stoned.
915
00:54:17,351 --> 00:54:20,149
Hello? Excuse me, miss?
916
00:54:20,387 --> 00:54:24,323
- Ladies?
- My name is Flower!
917
00:54:24,925 --> 00:54:27,325
You may call me Butterfly.
918
00:54:27,528 --> 00:54:29,052
And if you're
from the logging company,
919
00:54:29,263 --> 00:54:31,458
you'll have to speak to our lawyers.
920
00:54:31,866 --> 00:54:34,300
If you look to your left,
you can totally see her downstairs.
921
00:54:34,502 --> 00:54:35,867
What?
922
00:54:36,070 --> 00:54:38,971
We're not... We're not
from the logging company.
923
00:54:39,273 --> 00:54:40,297
- Peace.
- Peace.
924
00:54:40,508 --> 00:54:42,601
- Hey, peace.
- Peace.
925
00:54:42,810 --> 00:54:45,540
- What's your name?
- Jerry. Jerry Conlaine.
926
00:54:45,913 --> 00:54:48,108
And what's your forest name?
927
00:54:48,315 --> 00:54:51,944
Slug. His forest name is Slug.
928
00:54:52,153 --> 00:54:54,553
- I got you.
- Thanks, Tom, thanks a lot.
929
00:54:54,755 --> 00:54:57,781
I'm sorry, Slug. We can't
abandon our post.
930
00:54:57,992 --> 00:54:59,516
Do you understand?
931
00:54:59,727 --> 00:55:03,458
Well, could we come up there,
then? Please?
932
00:55:03,664 --> 00:55:04,824
Come on up.
933
00:55:05,032 --> 00:55:08,263
So then we run straight into
this freezing, like, water pond.
934
00:55:08,469 --> 00:55:11,165
We had to hide underwater,
but we used these reeds.
935
00:55:11,372 --> 00:55:14,034
Reeds? Like pussy willow reeds?
Really?
936
00:55:14,241 --> 00:55:17,039
God, it must've been so hard
to breathe.
937
00:55:17,244 --> 00:55:18,302
Yeah, it's been quite a trip.
938
00:55:18,512 --> 00:55:20,480
Do you guys have a cell phone
that we could use?
939
00:55:20,681 --> 00:55:23,673
Sorry, Slug. Cell phones are bad
for the environment
940
00:55:23,884 --> 00:55:25,647
and people who live
in the environment.
941
00:55:25,853 --> 00:55:27,115
- Right.
- You poor boys.
942
00:55:27,321 --> 00:55:29,255
You need to get out
of those damp, dirty clothes.
943
00:55:29,456 --> 00:55:31,390
Here, let us wash them for you.
944
00:55:31,859 --> 00:55:34,419
- No, no. I'm fine.
- Let us nurture you.
945
00:55:37,364 --> 00:55:38,524
Oh, boy!
946
00:55:38,933 --> 00:55:41,561
Mighty Oak could go
for some nurturing.
947
00:55:41,769 --> 00:55:44,761
- Stay right there.
- No. It's...
948
00:55:44,972 --> 00:55:47,202
Just relax, Condor.
949
00:55:47,441 --> 00:55:51,138
No, it's okay, honestly. I'm actually
not really into being touched.
950
00:55:51,345 --> 00:55:54,678
I'm a doctor, so I usually
do the touching.
951
00:55:54,882 --> 00:55:58,409
Yeah. I've been told I give
a very good calf massage.
952
00:55:58,619 --> 00:56:01,588
If you wanna roll down
those stockings, I could give you one.
953
00:56:01,789 --> 00:56:05,122
- Stockings?
- Leg warmers?
954
00:56:05,593 --> 00:56:07,686
I'm all-natural.
955
00:56:09,396 --> 00:56:10,727
Supernatural.
956
00:56:10,931 --> 00:56:17,769
- You guys live up here year-round?
- We've been here 287 beautiful days.
957
00:56:17,972 --> 00:56:19,269
How do you guys get supplies?
958
00:56:19,473 --> 00:56:23,307
When we need supplies, we radio
the Earth Child Support Network.
959
00:56:23,510 --> 00:56:24,977
Radio?
960
00:56:25,179 --> 00:56:27,374
You... You guys have a radio?
961
00:56:27,581 --> 00:56:31,244
Yeah. We haven't used it
since that last big thunderstorm.
962
00:56:31,452 --> 00:56:32,578
Remember that, Flower?
963
00:56:32,786 --> 00:56:37,382
Oh, my God. That thunderstorm
was so spiritual.
964
00:56:37,591 --> 00:56:42,255
Earth Child's limbs were just waving,
heaving back and forth,
965
00:56:42,463 --> 00:56:46,866
like she was dancing in the rhythm
to the thunder. It was just like...
966
00:56:51,205 --> 00:56:54,606
Full-on Tantric orgasm.
967
00:56:54,808 --> 00:56:57,504
- So where's this radio?
- Tree had an orgasm?
968
00:56:57,711 --> 00:56:58,678
You don't say.
969
00:56:58,879 --> 00:57:03,475
We danced naked
in the storm all night.
970
00:57:03,684 --> 00:57:07,211
And then held each other,
soaking wet, until the morning.
971
00:57:08,289 --> 00:57:12,749
The rain is like a drug.
It just makes you wanna...
972
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:14,622
What? Makes you wanna what?
973
00:57:18,666 --> 00:57:20,463
Can we please use the radio?
974
00:57:20,668 --> 00:57:22,602
Sure thing, Slug.
975
00:57:23,971 --> 00:57:25,996
Wow. Monkey feet.
976
00:57:26,206 --> 00:57:28,265
Yeah. It's like a second pair of hands.
977
00:57:28,909 --> 00:57:31,434
Hello? Anyone out there?
My name's Jerry Conlaine,
978
00:57:31,645 --> 00:57:34,671
and my two friends and I
are lost in the woods. Hello?
979
00:57:34,882 --> 00:57:36,975
- You gotta say "Over. "
- Over.
980
00:57:37,184 --> 00:57:41,587
I read you, son.
This is Breaker Station 22.
981
00:57:42,022 --> 00:57:44,320
- What is your position? Over.
- See? He said, "Over. "
982
00:57:46,060 --> 00:57:48,995
We are two miles east
of Harold's Bluff
983
00:57:49,196 --> 00:57:53,496
in a giant redwood
called Earth Child. Over.
984
00:57:53,701 --> 00:57:59,799
In a tree. We'll find you. We will
give assistance and whatnot.
985
00:58:00,007 --> 00:58:02,032
Peace. Over.
986
00:58:02,242 --> 00:58:05,405
You just sit tight.
We're coming to get you.
987
00:58:05,779 --> 00:58:07,804
Over and out!
988
00:58:09,283 --> 00:58:11,615
So we ran out of food in Borneo,
so we just ended up
989
00:58:11,819 --> 00:58:14,652
eating our mosquito netting.
Just salted it up, and it was good.
990
00:58:14,855 --> 00:58:15,822
It was really good.
991
00:58:16,290 --> 00:58:20,090
Oh, you messy thing. Let me get that.
992
00:58:20,327 --> 00:58:21,316
Thank you.
993
00:58:21,562 --> 00:58:24,292
Well, there's plenty more
grubs here, Condor.
994
00:58:24,498 --> 00:58:27,262
Oh, no, I couldn't.
That bark shot right through me.
995
00:58:27,468 --> 00:58:29,959
I need to visit the little trees' room.
996
00:58:30,170 --> 00:58:32,229
Where do you guys do the do?
997
00:58:32,740 --> 00:58:34,264
Top side of the tree.
998
00:58:34,742 --> 00:58:36,676
Got a real kick to it.
999
00:58:39,380 --> 00:58:42,838
Bag it when you're done.
Put it in the basket up top.
1000
00:58:43,050 --> 00:58:46,508
If you bring it in, you take it out.
Right?
1001
00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:48,415
Okay, will do.
1002
00:58:48,622 --> 00:58:50,317
Do you have any paper?
1003
00:58:51,725 --> 00:58:54,091
Oh, great. You know,
1004
00:58:54,294 --> 00:58:56,262
I think I'm gonna wait
until we get to the ranger station.
1005
00:58:56,463 --> 00:58:58,590
Someone's here, someone's here.
1006
00:58:59,999 --> 00:59:03,196
- Good afternoon, ladies.
- Nice-looking tree.
1007
00:59:03,403 --> 00:59:05,098
End of the line, boys.
Come on down.
1008
00:59:05,305 --> 00:59:06,272
- They're gonna kill Earth Child.
- No!
1009
00:59:06,472 --> 00:59:09,566
No, they're not gonna kill
Earth Child. They're after us.
1010
00:59:09,943 --> 00:59:12,070
We gotta get down and we gotta
make a run for it, all right?
1011
00:59:14,447 --> 00:59:16,039
- No!
- No!
1012
00:59:17,583 --> 00:59:18,914
Go to it, Elwood.
1013
00:59:19,285 --> 00:59:22,049
We're gonna die up here
in this stupid tree.
1014
00:59:22,255 --> 00:59:25,850
You know, Condor, even if your bodily
death is extraordinarily painful,
1015
00:59:26,059 --> 00:59:29,324
- your soul will live on.
- Everything happens for a reason.
1016
00:59:29,529 --> 00:59:32,089
Listen up, karma chameleons.
Nobody's dying.
1017
00:59:32,598 --> 00:59:33,656
Here's the plan.
1018
00:59:33,866 --> 00:59:36,027
Send those boys down,
pretty little birdies.
1019
00:59:36,235 --> 00:59:39,329
I'm gonna rappel down.
And then I'm gonna secure the rope
1020
00:59:39,539 --> 00:59:42,633
and then I'm gonna distract them.
You two slide down after me. All right?
1021
00:59:42,842 --> 00:59:43,934
- Okay.
- Stop it!
1022
00:59:44,143 --> 00:59:45,405
Cut it down, Elwood.
1023
00:59:47,313 --> 00:59:49,508
Good plan, Jerry. One small change.
1024
00:59:49,916 --> 00:59:51,975
Time to find out whether
I have the family curse or not.
1025
00:59:52,352 --> 00:59:54,820
For me, Jer, for me?
1026
00:59:55,955 --> 00:59:57,923
Yeah, go, go, go.
1027
00:59:58,124 --> 00:59:59,523
Give them hell, Tommy.
1028
01:00:00,093 --> 01:00:04,086
This Hell-mart's open for business,
and I'm slashing prices.
1029
01:00:04,597 --> 01:00:08,590
- Stop!
- Come on, boys, don't be afraid.
1030
01:00:09,035 --> 01:00:10,127
We gotta cover him.
1031
01:00:10,336 --> 01:00:11,826
I have an idea.
1032
01:00:15,008 --> 01:00:16,771
You just send those boys down.
1033
01:00:16,976 --> 01:00:19,877
There won't be no more trouble
for you, Earth-mama.
1034
01:00:20,079 --> 01:00:21,808
- Heavier than it looks.
- Oh, good idea.
1035
01:00:22,015 --> 01:00:23,175
- Oh, yeah.
- You've got it.
1036
01:00:23,383 --> 01:00:24,850
- Ready?
- You got it.
1037
01:00:30,890 --> 01:00:32,687
- Oh yes.
- I'm hit. I'm hit.
1038
01:00:32,925 --> 01:00:34,290
It's doody, Dennis.
1039
01:00:34,494 --> 01:00:35,791
One, two, three.
1040
01:00:35,995 --> 01:00:38,054
Oh, shit.
1041
01:00:38,264 --> 01:00:39,822
Dano, let's go.
1042
01:00:40,033 --> 01:00:42,866
Get away from my tree!
1043
01:00:43,202 --> 01:00:44,533
This is wrong.
1044
01:00:45,338 --> 01:00:47,806
- Okay.
- I can't do this, Jerry.
1045
01:00:48,007 --> 01:00:49,133
Okay.
1046
01:00:49,342 --> 01:00:50,536
Jamming up my gun barrel.
1047
01:00:50,743 --> 01:00:53,371
- This is not me.
- You're a beautiful spirit.
1048
01:00:53,579 --> 01:00:57,538
Fly free and know
that love follows you.
1049
01:01:00,453 --> 01:01:03,272
Thank you, kind, crazy,
hairy lady of my dreams.
1050
01:01:03,307 --> 01:01:06,091
Thank you, kind, crazy,
hairy lady of my dreams.
1051
01:01:07,927 --> 01:01:09,394
It was cute.
1052
01:01:10,630 --> 01:01:13,326
- Get off my tree!
- Shoot her.
1053
01:01:13,933 --> 01:01:15,457
Filthy hippie! Shoot her again.
1054
01:01:15,668 --> 01:01:17,966
That is it!
1055
01:01:18,705 --> 01:01:21,401
- I don't wanna do this, Jerry.
- Remember when we used to jump off
1056
01:01:21,607 --> 01:01:25,065
that railroad bridge into Cedar Lake?
That was higher than this.
1057
01:01:25,278 --> 01:01:26,836
No, no. I never jumped off of there.
1058
01:01:27,046 --> 01:01:28,946
You guys always pushed me
when I wasn't looking.
1059
01:01:29,148 --> 01:01:30,410
Oh, yeah.
1060
01:01:34,253 --> 01:01:35,743
Go!
1061
01:01:40,493 --> 01:01:41,619
- Hold on, Dan.
- I made it.
1062
01:01:42,729 --> 01:01:44,959
Did I kill your grandma?
1063
01:01:45,164 --> 01:01:47,394
- I don't think so.
- Where are they getting all this poo?
1064
01:01:52,505 --> 01:01:54,200
He's getting away on my wheeler!
1065
01:01:54,974 --> 01:01:57,465
- Get him, Elwood.
- I'm gonna shoot him!
1066
01:02:07,987 --> 01:02:11,787
Come on, let's go. Get on, get on.
Move, baby, move. Come on, Jer.
1067
01:02:14,660 --> 01:02:15,627
Go. Go.
1068
01:02:15,828 --> 01:02:17,921
- Hold on.
- Come on, Dennis, we gotta move.
1069
01:02:18,131 --> 01:02:20,258
All right, I'm on. Go. Go.
1070
01:02:22,235 --> 01:02:23,668
Hold on, Dano.
1071
01:02:28,407 --> 01:02:30,307
Can't this thing go any faster?
1072
01:02:32,311 --> 01:02:34,438
Shoot the one driving!
1073
01:02:37,483 --> 01:02:38,950
What are you doing?
1074
01:02:39,152 --> 01:02:42,280
I'm pretending I'm on a speeder bike
so I can block out reality.
1075
01:02:42,488 --> 01:02:44,513
It's my process. Leave me alone.
1076
01:02:54,700 --> 01:02:56,691
Over there. It looks like a clearing.
1077
01:02:57,737 --> 01:02:58,863
That way.
1078
01:03:00,173 --> 01:03:01,265
That way, that way, that way!
1079
01:03:15,922 --> 01:03:17,219
Damn it, Elwood.
1080
01:03:17,423 --> 01:03:19,448
I think I just swallowed my underpants.
1081
01:03:22,495 --> 01:03:23,655
Shoot them.
1082
01:03:25,531 --> 01:03:28,864
- I can't believe they survived that fall.
- Dennis, they're getting away.
1083
01:03:29,068 --> 01:03:30,865
No, they're trapped like rats.
1084
01:03:31,070 --> 01:03:33,095
Only way they can go now
is up the mountain.
1085
01:03:33,306 --> 01:03:36,173
We know right where they're headed.
Let's go.
1086
01:03:41,981 --> 01:03:43,915
- Flat tire.
- Damn it, Tom.
1087
01:03:44,918 --> 01:03:46,249
Keep moving.
1088
01:03:50,223 --> 01:03:51,781
Getting close, Elwood.
1089
01:04:00,166 --> 01:04:01,827
This way.
1090
01:04:05,538 --> 01:04:08,405
All right, that is it. I'm out.
1091
01:04:08,608 --> 01:04:10,041
I'm out.
1092
01:04:10,376 --> 01:04:12,037
I'm out.
1093
01:04:12,912 --> 01:04:16,643
I have spent the last, like, two hours
within sniffing distance
1094
01:04:16,849 --> 01:04:23,220
of a sweaty ball sack and a sweaty
ball sack, and I am out. I'm out.
1095
01:04:23,489 --> 01:04:25,013
What does that mean?
1096
01:04:25,491 --> 01:04:28,756
I think it means he's out.
Like, coming out.
1097
01:04:29,028 --> 01:04:31,496
Like, he's finally admitted he's gay.
1098
01:04:31,998 --> 01:04:36,059
You know, I'm just gonna stay
here until help comes.
1099
01:04:36,269 --> 01:04:39,033
I mean, this is serious.
I lost my inhaler.
1100
01:04:39,239 --> 01:04:41,207
I've known you almost,
what, 25 years now?
1101
01:04:41,407 --> 01:04:45,275
I've never seen you have
even a hint of asthma, anything.
1102
01:04:45,478 --> 01:04:50,108
That's because I have the inhaler,
Jerry.
1103
01:04:50,316 --> 01:04:54,275
No, I think Jerry's right. I think
this whole thing's just in your head.
1104
01:04:54,487 --> 01:04:58,014
You just need to take a couple of real
deep breaths and you'll get over it.
1105
01:04:58,258 --> 01:04:59,657
Oh, okay, why didn't I think of that?
1106
01:04:59,859 --> 01:05:02,589
I'll just get over my chronic
respiratory illness.
1107
01:05:02,795 --> 01:05:04,763
I'll just breathe.
1108
01:05:05,565 --> 01:05:06,998
There you go. I'm over it.
1109
01:05:07,533 --> 01:05:09,797
See? That wasn't that hard, was it?
1110
01:05:10,003 --> 01:05:12,233
You gotta relax, Dano. All right?
1111
01:05:12,438 --> 01:05:15,373
It's no time to give up hope.
Let's just keep going.
1112
01:05:16,476 --> 01:05:19,843
No, actually, Jerry, I'm convinced that
this is the perfect time to give up hope.
1113
01:05:20,046 --> 01:05:23,243
I don't know that there has ever been
a better time to give up hope.
1114
01:05:23,449 --> 01:05:26,009
I mean, look at this.
1115
01:05:26,219 --> 01:05:30,121
Things are as bad
as they could possibly get.
1116
01:05:37,463 --> 01:05:39,761
I stand corrected.
1117
01:05:44,737 --> 01:05:46,102
Elwood, what are you doing?
1118
01:05:46,306 --> 01:05:49,104
It's raining. It's raining.
1119
01:05:52,912 --> 01:05:55,881
Tom, man, get under here.
You're gonna die of pneumonia.
1120
01:05:56,549 --> 01:05:58,779
No, but we will die of hypothermia.
1121
01:06:00,186 --> 01:06:02,654
Look, our only chance
is to huddle together.
1122
01:06:03,122 --> 01:06:05,682
We gotta huddle our bodies together
for warmth.
1123
01:06:05,992 --> 01:06:08,358
I, for one, choose death.
1124
01:06:08,561 --> 01:06:09,994
Interesting.
1125
01:06:10,330 --> 01:06:14,562
One minute you mock
my sweaty ball sack,
1126
01:06:14,767 --> 01:06:16,632
and now you wanna cuddle with it.
1127
01:06:17,003 --> 01:06:20,530
You know, the whole huddle-up thing
1128
01:06:20,740 --> 01:06:23,732
is the oldest trick in the book.
I've used it.
1129
01:06:24,010 --> 01:06:25,568
It's just for getting a girl naked.
1130
01:06:25,778 --> 01:06:27,143
Worked, though.
1131
01:06:27,914 --> 01:06:29,040
Every time.
1132
01:07:12,358 --> 01:07:14,087
This never leaves the cave.
1133
01:07:18,398 --> 01:07:20,025
I'm starting to feel warm.
1134
01:07:20,233 --> 01:07:22,463
See? I told you guys.
1135
01:07:22,769 --> 01:07:24,794
Let's just try and get some sleep.
1136
01:07:28,841 --> 01:07:30,741
Hey, Dano.
1137
01:07:31,344 --> 01:07:34,643
How hot were those chicks
in the tree?
1138
01:07:35,948 --> 01:07:37,916
They were hairy, but hot.
1139
01:07:38,184 --> 01:07:40,175
The rain,
1140
01:07:40,620 --> 01:07:42,952
dancing to the rhythm of the thunder,
1141
01:07:43,556 --> 01:07:47,652
full-on Tantric orgasm,
are you kidding me? Hey, didn't?
1142
01:07:48,127 --> 01:07:50,527
Didn't she kiss you once?
1143
01:07:50,930 --> 01:07:52,488
It was nice.
1144
01:07:52,698 --> 01:07:54,188
Oh, my God.
1145
01:07:54,534 --> 01:07:58,834
They are probably dancing naked
right now.
1146
01:07:59,105 --> 01:08:00,902
Dancing...
1147
01:08:01,474 --> 01:08:05,774
Soaking wet.
1148
01:08:07,747 --> 01:08:09,009
Hey.
1149
01:08:10,116 --> 01:08:12,778
Hey! Oh, my God, Dano,
how could you?!
1150
01:08:12,985 --> 01:08:16,352
It wasn't me, it was Jerry.
Jerry, why would you do that?
1151
01:08:16,556 --> 01:08:18,956
I'm sorry. My bad. I'm so sorry.
1152
01:08:19,158 --> 01:08:21,422
What happens in the cave,
stays in the cave.
1153
01:08:21,627 --> 01:08:23,788
Oh, my God. That was your...
1154
01:08:23,996 --> 01:08:26,021
Come back to bed, you guys.
I'm freezing.
1155
01:08:26,232 --> 01:08:28,200
Not till he puts Jabba back in his hut.
1156
01:08:28,401 --> 01:08:30,767
Freeze, perverts.
1157
01:08:36,976 --> 01:08:39,501
Wait, wait, wait, just...
Please don't shoot us, okay?
1158
01:08:39,712 --> 01:08:41,179
This isn't what it looks like.
1159
01:08:41,547 --> 01:08:43,310
If you're gonna rape somebody,
rape Dano.
1160
01:08:44,484 --> 01:08:46,145
Did I ask you to talk?
1161
01:08:46,352 --> 01:08:47,876
- No.
- Come with me,
1162
01:08:48,087 --> 01:08:50,385
or I'll shoot your testicles off
1163
01:08:50,590 --> 01:08:54,117
and stuff them and mount
them on my mantelpiece.
1164
01:08:56,596 --> 01:08:58,461
That's gonna be an ugly mantelpiece.
1165
01:08:58,664 --> 01:09:02,259
- Go on.
- That's it, come on.
1166
01:09:17,383 --> 01:09:19,180
What is it?
1167
01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:23,218
Cinnamon.
1168
01:09:24,423 --> 01:09:28,086
What the hell are you doing, collecting
herbs for your goddamn herb garden?
1169
01:09:28,294 --> 01:09:31,730
Well, all the twigs are broken.
They've been through here.
1170
01:09:32,265 --> 01:09:34,130
That they have.
1171
01:09:34,867 --> 01:09:37,461
- Nice place.
- Get along.
1172
01:09:38,304 --> 01:09:40,204
- Build this yourself?
- Open the door.
1173
01:09:43,075 --> 01:09:45,009
- Okay, I'm going.
- That's it.
1174
01:09:45,578 --> 01:09:47,546
It's a lot warmer in here.
1175
01:10:00,627 --> 01:10:02,618
I think he's gonna try to cook us.
1176
01:10:07,233 --> 01:10:08,666
Where you going?
1177
01:10:13,473 --> 01:10:17,273
Oh, Susanna
1178
01:10:17,477 --> 01:10:20,037
Don't you cry for me
1179
01:10:20,480 --> 01:10:22,573
If you're gonna kill us,
just do it already, okay?
1180
01:10:22,782 --> 01:10:25,012
I am sick of waiting to die.
1181
01:10:25,218 --> 01:10:26,378
Okay.
1182
01:10:27,720 --> 01:10:29,745
- Was that reckless?
- Yes.
1183
01:10:30,056 --> 01:10:32,320
If I was gonna kill you,
I would have done it outside.
1184
01:10:33,192 --> 01:10:34,887
- Thank you. Thank you.
- I agree.
1185
01:10:35,094 --> 01:10:37,426
- You're a very gracious man.
- That's a good one.
1186
01:10:37,630 --> 01:10:38,892
Yes, with a happy ending.
1187
01:10:39,766 --> 01:10:40,892
D.B.
1188
01:10:43,603 --> 01:10:47,039
- What'd you call me?
- D.B. The maps...
1189
01:10:47,707 --> 01:10:49,641
You are, aren't you?
You're D.B. Cooper.
1190
01:10:49,876 --> 01:10:51,935
No, I ain't D.B. Cooper.
1191
01:10:53,513 --> 01:10:55,208
That's ancient history.
1192
01:10:56,749 --> 01:10:59,047
I tell you what's not
ancient history, though.
1193
01:10:59,252 --> 01:11:05,350
It's three naked deviates
on my mountain.
1194
01:11:05,558 --> 01:11:09,426
We were searching for D.B.
And, yes, we're naked,
1195
01:11:09,629 --> 01:11:13,087
and we're trespassing, but
there's a perfectly good explanation.
1196
01:11:14,934 --> 01:11:20,338
First thing, I want you to put
some clothes on.
1197
01:11:22,308 --> 01:11:25,368
And then I'd like to hear this story.
1198
01:11:25,745 --> 01:11:27,406
Thank you. Oh, thank you.
1199
01:11:27,613 --> 01:11:29,376
More of your own
homemade fashions?
1200
01:11:29,582 --> 01:11:31,743
I wouldn't mind wearing
one of these deer pelts up there.
1201
01:11:31,951 --> 01:11:33,612
I'd get dressed faster if I was you
1202
01:11:33,820 --> 01:11:35,981
because I've been alone in this cabin
for 30 years.
1203
01:11:36,189 --> 01:11:37,486
- Oh, God.
- Okay.
1204
01:11:37,690 --> 01:11:41,888
They would've come in here
to escape the rain.
1205
01:11:43,496 --> 01:11:46,056
They laid down right here, Dennis.
1206
01:11:46,265 --> 01:11:47,323
Right here.
1207
01:11:47,533 --> 01:11:48,966
Lay down beside me.
1208
01:11:49,168 --> 01:11:51,659
In order to stalk your prey,
1209
01:11:51,871 --> 01:11:54,840
you gotta go where they go
and do what they do.
1210
01:11:55,608 --> 01:11:58,202
Then a scuffle broke out,
1211
01:11:58,411 --> 01:12:00,174
and there were some harsh words
exchanged,
1212
01:12:00,380 --> 01:12:04,077
and they beat that little one
until he was limp.
1213
01:12:04,350 --> 01:12:05,681
Elwood,
1214
01:12:06,085 --> 01:12:07,575
I don't need to know
what happened.
1215
01:12:07,787 --> 01:12:10,654
I just need to know
which way they went.
1216
01:12:13,259 --> 01:12:16,592
Up-mountain. All right, let's get back
to the wheeler.
1217
01:12:16,796 --> 01:12:18,525
I know a shortcut
around Devil's Staircase.
1218
01:12:18,731 --> 01:12:21,097
We can still beat them to the summit.
1219
01:12:22,802 --> 01:12:26,499
And then you, you scared us
with your testicle-mounting speech.
1220
01:12:26,706 --> 01:12:28,874
That just came right off the top
of my head.
1221
01:12:28,940 --> 01:12:30,703
- It was very scary.
- It was creepy too.
1222
01:12:31,343 --> 01:12:34,972
May I ask you one question?
Could you really see their downstairs?
1223
01:12:35,213 --> 01:12:38,705
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You could
see everything. It was...
1224
01:12:38,917 --> 01:12:40,350
It was quite a view.
1225
01:12:41,953 --> 01:12:43,887
So, Del,
1226
01:12:44,556 --> 01:12:46,217
were you D.B.'s partner?
1227
01:12:46,524 --> 01:12:48,583
And his best friend too.
1228
01:12:49,461 --> 01:12:53,727
We've known each other ever since
we were able to pee straight.
1229
01:12:53,965 --> 01:12:55,262
So...
1230
01:12:57,769 --> 01:13:00,033
- Is he still alive?
- Hell, I don't know.
1231
01:13:00,538 --> 01:13:02,199
D.B. Had this plan, see.
1232
01:13:03,241 --> 01:13:07,405
When he jumped out of the airplane,
he was gonna land
1233
01:13:07,612 --> 01:13:12,777
3 degrees northwest
of Red Devil Ridge.
1234
01:13:12,984 --> 01:13:15,782
And he had a flashlight.
He was gonna signal me,
1235
01:13:15,987 --> 01:13:21,118
I'd find him and then we were gonna
work our way down to Rio.
1236
01:13:22,360 --> 01:13:23,486
I love Rio.
1237
01:13:23,695 --> 01:13:25,629
What...? What happened?
1238
01:13:25,830 --> 01:13:26,956
It snowed.
1239
01:13:27,632 --> 01:13:29,657
A blizzard. You couldn't see anything.
1240
01:13:29,868 --> 01:13:31,699
You couldn't see your hand
in front of your face.
1241
01:13:31,903 --> 01:13:33,234
Hell, I don't know where he landed.
1242
01:13:33,438 --> 01:13:37,568
I looked for him for months
and months. So did the FBI,
1243
01:13:37,776 --> 01:13:40,904
so did the cops. No D.B., no money.
1244
01:13:41,947 --> 01:13:43,346
But you could've left.
1245
01:13:43,548 --> 01:13:45,607
Why'd you stay up here
all these years?
1246
01:13:45,951 --> 01:13:48,511
Seemed like a good idea at the time.
1247
01:13:49,154 --> 01:13:50,314
You know what I mean, kid?
1248
01:13:50,622 --> 01:13:52,089
Yeah,
1249
01:13:52,390 --> 01:13:54,415
- I do.
- Have you ever spent
1250
01:13:54,626 --> 01:13:55,615
30 years in a cabin?
1251
01:13:56,261 --> 01:13:58,286
- No.
- Then you don't know what I mean.
1252
01:13:58,596 --> 01:14:02,225
I mean, metaphorically,
I know what you mean.
1253
01:14:02,434 --> 01:14:04,925
Metaphorically, have you ever spent
30 years in a cabin?
1254
01:14:05,136 --> 01:14:06,797
Ye... No.
1255
01:14:07,005 --> 01:14:09,405
Well, then, think before you talk.
1256
01:14:10,875 --> 01:14:15,437
Point is, I've spent the best years
of my life sitting on the porch,
1257
01:14:15,647 --> 01:14:18,411
playing the harmonica,
waiting for something better,
1258
01:14:18,616 --> 01:14:22,017
and the years have been going
by faster and faster.
1259
01:14:22,220 --> 01:14:23,448
And then all of a sudden,
1260
01:14:24,522 --> 01:14:26,387
I was an old man.
1261
01:14:28,393 --> 01:14:31,362
Well, I bet you can play the shit
out of that harmonica.
1262
01:14:32,731 --> 01:14:34,096
That I can.
1263
01:14:35,734 --> 01:14:38,168
Except there's no one around
to hear me play it.
1264
01:14:38,737 --> 01:14:41,763
Piece of advice:
You can lose your money,
1265
01:14:41,973 --> 01:14:44,373
you can spend all of it,
1266
01:14:44,576 --> 01:14:48,137
and if you work hard,
you get it all back.
1267
01:14:48,613 --> 01:14:50,877
But if you waste your time,
1268
01:14:52,317 --> 01:14:54,547
you're never gonna get it back.
1269
01:14:56,121 --> 01:14:59,318
Whatever it is you fellas
are looking for,
1270
01:14:59,858 --> 01:15:01,917
you gotta go out and get it.
1271
01:15:02,861 --> 01:15:05,056
And you gotta go right now.
1272
01:15:07,632 --> 01:15:10,499
Not right now, you idiots.
1273
01:15:13,671 --> 01:15:16,299
Well, you boys get some sleep.
1274
01:15:16,508 --> 01:15:19,341
In the morning, I'm gonna point you
in the right direction,
1275
01:15:19,544 --> 01:15:21,512
get you right off this mountain.
1276
01:15:30,455 --> 01:15:32,116
Morning.
1277
01:15:36,027 --> 01:15:37,289
Bacon.
1278
01:15:37,495 --> 01:15:39,087
Squirrel.
1279
01:15:40,698 --> 01:15:42,495
Squirrel.
1280
01:15:44,369 --> 01:15:46,337
Nice T-shirt, JJ.
1281
01:15:46,905 --> 01:15:49,465
That's my JJ Walker T-shirt.
1282
01:15:50,275 --> 01:15:52,300
"Dy-no-mite. "
1283
01:15:52,510 --> 01:15:54,637
Dy-no-mite.
1284
01:15:55,246 --> 01:15:57,441
Dy-no-mite.
1285
01:15:57,649 --> 01:15:59,116
Dy-no-mite!
1286
01:15:59,384 --> 01:16:00,408
That's too big.
1287
01:16:00,852 --> 01:16:02,012
- Bathroom?
- Outside.
1288
01:16:02,220 --> 01:16:03,187
Thought so.
1289
01:16:03,988 --> 01:16:05,683
Dy-no-mite.
1290
01:16:05,890 --> 01:16:07,118
Dy-no-mite.
1291
01:16:07,325 --> 01:16:09,225
Creeping me out.
1292
01:16:14,766 --> 01:16:16,734
Look at this.
1293
01:16:38,523 --> 01:16:40,753
Does a bear shit in the woods?
1294
01:16:42,427 --> 01:16:44,918
Hey. Does a bear shit in the woods?
1295
01:16:45,130 --> 01:16:47,360
My cell phone.
Where did you find that?
1296
01:16:47,565 --> 01:16:49,362
Does a bear shit in the woods?
1297
01:16:49,567 --> 01:16:51,762
- Usually.
- Unbelievable.
1298
01:16:51,970 --> 01:16:53,460
I gotta make a quick call,
all right?
1299
01:16:53,671 --> 01:16:55,298
- Who you gonna call?
- Ghostbusters?
1300
01:16:55,673 --> 01:16:57,231
Denise.
1301
01:16:59,544 --> 01:17:02,945
Hi. Jerry and Denise
are no longer doing it.
1302
01:17:03,148 --> 01:17:06,311
If you need Denise,
call her on her cell.
1303
01:17:12,524 --> 01:17:14,424
It's killing time!
1304
01:17:14,626 --> 01:17:16,958
Come on, Jerry, get down.
1305
01:17:31,409 --> 01:17:35,072
Hey, come on, now. Give me a hand.
1306
01:17:36,814 --> 01:17:38,406
Every time I get comfortable.
1307
01:17:38,616 --> 01:17:41,517
Listen up. Go due north till
you get to the top of the ridge,
1308
01:17:41,886 --> 01:17:44,218
then you go directly west.
1309
01:17:44,422 --> 01:17:45,889
- Okay.
- Just keep going,
1310
01:17:46,090 --> 01:17:47,580
you'll come to an old mining trail.
1311
01:17:47,792 --> 01:17:50,022
Follow that right down to the bottom
of the mountain.
1312
01:17:50,795 --> 01:17:52,057
All right.
1313
01:17:53,231 --> 01:17:54,823
You go right, I go left.
1314
01:17:55,033 --> 01:17:57,297
- Okay.
- I love this part.
1315
01:17:57,502 --> 01:17:59,231
- Come on,
- He say left or right?
1316
01:17:59,437 --> 01:18:01,530
Have a good life, boys.
1317
01:18:06,411 --> 01:18:09,642
- Let's go.
- Go, go, go!
1318
01:18:21,526 --> 01:18:25,724
When you peckerwoods get
your diapers clean, come on back.
1319
01:18:25,964 --> 01:18:27,727
I'll be waiting.
1320
01:18:30,368 --> 01:18:31,562
West is this way.
1321
01:18:31,769 --> 01:18:32,861
We're not going west.
1322
01:18:33,071 --> 01:18:35,062
Yes, we are. The compass says so.
1323
01:18:35,273 --> 01:18:38,538
The compass came out of a cereal box,
so why are we running the wrong way?
1324
01:18:38,776 --> 01:18:40,266
Iron. Iron.
1325
01:18:40,478 --> 01:18:41,467
What?
1326
01:18:41,679 --> 01:18:44,409
Iron ore. There's iron in the hills.
1327
01:18:44,616 --> 01:18:45,708
It's throwing off the magnet.
1328
01:18:45,917 --> 01:18:48,181
Tell Mr. Wizard that we're still going
the wrong way.
1329
01:18:48,386 --> 01:18:50,217
Which means Del's compass,
it wouldn't work here.
1330
01:18:50,421 --> 01:18:53,151
If D.B. Was supposed to land
3 degrees northwest of Devil's Ridge,
1331
01:18:53,358 --> 01:18:54,848
it would've come off as directly west.
1332
01:18:55,059 --> 01:18:56,026
Who cares about D.B.
1333
01:18:56,227 --> 01:18:57,922
Which means he would've landed
somewhere...
1334
01:19:04,002 --> 01:19:07,961
Oh, my throat, neck, chest.
1335
01:19:10,208 --> 01:19:13,109
Guys, I think we found him.
1336
01:19:15,580 --> 01:19:17,605
Jesus.
1337
01:19:29,394 --> 01:19:30,418
This is him.
1338
01:19:30,628 --> 01:19:31,959
This is D.B. Cooper.
1339
01:19:32,163 --> 01:19:34,961
It has to be.
The parachute and the briefcase.
1340
01:19:35,400 --> 01:19:38,961
He must have broke his legs in the
landing and then stumbled in this hole.
1341
01:19:39,170 --> 01:19:40,137
You poor bastard.
1342
01:19:40,338 --> 01:19:42,431
Del was looking for him,
but it was winter.
1343
01:19:42,640 --> 01:19:44,665
And the snow must have covered up
the top there.
1344
01:19:48,780 --> 01:19:51,112
- We found him.
- That's him.
1345
01:19:51,316 --> 01:19:52,374
- I can't believe we did it.
- D.B. Cooper.
1346
01:19:52,583 --> 01:19:53,845
Who else would it be?
1347
01:19:54,319 --> 01:19:56,287
This case is empty. The money's gone.
1348
01:19:56,487 --> 01:19:59,684
No, look.
Look what he's holding.
1349
01:20:03,394 --> 01:20:05,294
He burnt the cash to stay warm.
1350
01:20:05,496 --> 01:20:09,830
He traded every dollar
for just a few more hours of life.
1351
01:20:10,034 --> 01:20:11,763
So much for the treasure.
1352
01:20:12,070 --> 01:20:13,901
No, that's it.
1353
01:20:15,473 --> 01:20:18,169
Being alive, that's the treasure.
1354
01:20:18,810 --> 01:20:20,505
Here he is, boys,
1355
01:20:20,878 --> 01:20:23,176
the great D.B. Cooper
and his treasure.
1356
01:20:23,681 --> 01:20:29,347
And we found it, so we get our most
valuable possessions back.
1357
01:20:31,022 --> 01:20:32,148
Yeah.
1358
01:20:35,860 --> 01:20:37,851
Gentlemen.
1359
01:20:51,042 --> 01:20:54,569
Time to leave this stuff behind
and get the hell home.
1360
01:20:54,979 --> 01:20:57,072
Come on, Elwood.
1361
01:21:02,120 --> 01:21:04,315
Well, boss. What's the plan now?
1362
01:21:04,522 --> 01:21:06,456
First we gotta find our way out
of this hellhole,
1363
01:21:06,657 --> 01:21:08,522
- and then we make a run for it.
- No.
1364
01:21:08,726 --> 01:21:09,988
No more running.
1365
01:21:10,228 --> 01:21:12,594
After everything we've been through,
1366
01:21:13,498 --> 01:21:16,729
Dr. Mott has finally run out of things
to be afraid of.
1367
01:21:17,969 --> 01:21:22,406
Do you hear that? I'm not scared
of you, you Neanderthal dicks!
1368
01:21:22,640 --> 01:21:23,732
Okay, okay.
1369
01:21:23,941 --> 01:21:25,670
We got it, we got it, all right?
1370
01:21:25,877 --> 01:21:28,004
Hey, look, there's light coming
from over there.
1371
01:21:28,212 --> 01:21:31,113
- What is that, a tunnel?
- Maybe it leads out of here.
1372
01:21:33,050 --> 01:21:34,813
We're never getting through there...
1373
01:21:35,319 --> 01:21:36,547
..Tom.
1374
01:21:38,856 --> 01:21:41,416
- Dano?
- No.
1375
01:21:41,626 --> 01:21:43,253
No. No way.
1376
01:21:43,461 --> 01:21:45,452
What happened to the badass
over there?
1377
01:21:45,663 --> 01:21:48,530
What happened to running out of
things to be afraid of?
1378
01:21:49,033 --> 01:21:52,901
That was... This is just
a small, dark space.
1379
01:21:53,104 --> 01:21:55,572
I can't, I can't, it's a deal-breaker.
1380
01:21:55,773 --> 01:21:57,673
This could lead out of here.
1381
01:21:57,875 --> 01:22:00,537
Dan, you're the only one small enough
to go through.
1382
01:22:00,912 --> 01:22:02,709
That's what she said.
1383
01:22:05,583 --> 01:22:09,542
It's... It's a mine shaft.
They had to get the ore out somehow.
1384
01:22:09,754 --> 01:22:11,085
It's our only chance, Dano.
1385
01:22:11,289 --> 01:22:13,086
Come on, prairie dog.
1386
01:22:13,591 --> 01:22:15,149
You can do it.
1387
01:22:17,462 --> 01:22:19,396
I don't think that's helping.
1388
01:22:20,631 --> 01:22:22,963
Okay.
1389
01:22:24,402 --> 01:22:25,460
Come on.
1390
01:22:25,670 --> 01:22:27,695
Let's get him like this
and slide him in.
1391
01:22:36,681 --> 01:22:38,512
Keep going, buddy.
1392
01:22:39,083 --> 01:22:42,075
Keep going. There's gotta be light.
Do you see light?
1393
01:22:42,286 --> 01:22:44,311
I don't think I can.
1394
01:22:44,789 --> 01:22:46,017
I don't think I can.
1395
01:22:46,724 --> 01:22:50,216
Come on, Dan.
Soothing songs from the past.
1396
01:22:50,428 --> 01:22:56,765
Do you really wanna hurt me?
1397
01:22:56,968 --> 01:23:02,099
Do you really wanna make me cry?
1398
01:23:03,207 --> 01:23:06,836
Precious kisses, words that burn me
1399
01:23:07,178 --> 01:23:10,705
Lovers never ask you why
1400
01:23:11,015 --> 01:23:14,712
Do you really wanna hurt me?
1401
01:23:14,919 --> 01:23:16,284
Come on, Dano!
1402
01:23:16,487 --> 01:23:20,753
Do you really wanna make me cry?
1403
01:23:20,958 --> 01:23:25,054
- Quiet.
- Precious kisses, words that burn me
1404
01:23:25,263 --> 01:23:27,857
Lovers never ask you why
1405
01:23:28,232 --> 01:23:30,496
- The hills have gone gay.
- No, no.
1406
01:23:30,701 --> 01:23:33,192
- It's Culture Club.
- Do you really wanna make me cry?
1407
01:23:33,404 --> 01:23:37,932
- I had a New Wave phase.
- Precious kisses, words that love me
1408
01:23:38,209 --> 01:23:41,804
Lovers never ask you why
1409
01:23:42,013 --> 01:23:46,245
Do you really wanna hurt me?
1410
01:23:46,851 --> 01:23:49,445
Hurt me
1411
01:23:49,687 --> 01:23:54,351
Do you really want to make me cry?
1412
01:23:54,559 --> 01:23:58,859
Yes, we really wanna hurt you
1413
01:23:59,063 --> 01:24:02,999
Yes, we really wanna make you cry
1414
01:24:03,200 --> 01:24:05,216
Precious kisses, words that burn me
1415
01:24:05,251 --> 01:24:07,233
Precious kisses, words that burn me
1416
01:24:07,470 --> 01:24:10,234
Lovers never ask you...
1417
01:24:12,275 --> 01:24:13,333
How you like me now?
1418
01:24:15,111 --> 01:24:18,274
Well, well, well.
We gotcha, little city boys.
1419
01:24:18,481 --> 01:24:19,709
We sure gotcha.
1420
01:24:19,916 --> 01:24:21,781
I think this is just a misunderstanding.
1421
01:24:21,984 --> 01:24:25,511
- That was quite a run you gave us.
- You ain't running nowhere now.
1422
01:24:25,721 --> 01:24:26,847
What am I doing?
1423
01:24:27,056 --> 01:24:28,353
- The game's up.
- Hold on, Dennis.
1424
01:24:28,557 --> 01:24:30,616
I have a wonderful idea.
1425
01:24:31,460 --> 01:24:33,587
Can I use this, please?
1426
01:24:33,796 --> 01:24:37,857
Elwood, that is the best idea
you have had, ever.
1427
01:24:38,200 --> 01:24:39,861
We gotcha now.
1428
01:24:48,044 --> 01:24:50,569
How you like me now?
1429
01:24:53,015 --> 01:24:54,710
Good work, Dan.
1430
01:24:58,087 --> 01:24:59,315
Watch out!
1431
01:25:05,194 --> 01:25:06,684
You got them, guys!
1432
01:25:14,303 --> 01:25:15,793
Elwood, you all right?
1433
01:25:21,177 --> 01:25:22,439
Good one, Jerry. You're awesome!
1434
01:25:22,645 --> 01:25:24,476
Stop cheerleading and help, man!
1435
01:25:24,680 --> 01:25:26,011
- Right.
- Get them, Elwood.
1436
01:25:26,215 --> 01:25:29,116
- Get him off me.
- Hey. There's a grenade up here.
1437
01:25:29,318 --> 01:25:30,342
No!
1438
01:25:32,288 --> 01:25:35,155
No biting. No biting!
1439
01:26:04,721 --> 01:26:06,313
Gun.
1440
01:26:19,636 --> 01:26:20,728
Sheriff.
1441
01:26:20,937 --> 01:26:22,871
Sheriff. Thank God you're here.
1442
01:26:23,073 --> 01:26:24,335
My friends are in that hole.
1443
01:26:24,541 --> 01:26:27,305
And these guys are down there beating
them up. And these are their guns.
1444
01:26:27,511 --> 01:26:28,876
They got us in this hole.
1445
01:26:30,180 --> 01:26:32,774
Having a spot of trouble,
are you, city slickers?
1446
01:26:32,983 --> 01:26:35,474
Sheriff. I never thought I'd be happy
to see you again.
1447
01:26:35,685 --> 01:26:37,482
Give me that.
1448
01:26:37,687 --> 01:26:40,417
Hey, hey. Fight's over, fellas.
1449
01:26:40,624 --> 01:26:43,024
Come on, Jer. Come up.
1450
01:26:45,362 --> 01:26:48,024
- Good work, Dano.
- You too. I can't believe we made it.
1451
01:26:48,231 --> 01:26:49,823
Not quite.
1452
01:26:50,434 --> 01:26:53,335
All right, ladies, on your feet.
Let's get this over with.
1453
01:26:54,037 --> 01:26:57,996
Jesus, Hank. We were scared
you was never gonna come.
1454
01:26:58,208 --> 01:27:00,938
- Oh, I scared you, did I? I scared you?
- Yeah, you did.
1455
01:27:01,144 --> 01:27:03,305
- It's all about you, isn't it, Elwood?
- These boys have been running all over.
1456
01:27:03,513 --> 01:27:05,003
Well, it's a damn good thing I got here.
1457
01:27:05,482 --> 01:27:08,883
You two been shooting up this
goddamn mountain for three days,
1458
01:27:09,086 --> 01:27:11,077
chasing these jag-offs.
1459
01:27:11,288 --> 01:27:14,348
Nice racket, sheriff. What,
do you get a cut of the weed profits?
1460
01:27:15,258 --> 01:27:18,591
Profits? They work for me, ass-wipe.
1461
01:27:18,795 --> 01:27:23,255
What are you gonna tell our families?
You can't exactly explain this away.
1462
01:27:23,733 --> 01:27:25,166
Explaining?
1463
01:27:25,702 --> 01:27:27,567
We don't have to explain anything.
1464
01:27:27,871 --> 01:27:32,103
It's just three more city boys got lost
on the river, that's all.
1465
01:27:32,442 --> 01:27:35,240
Hey, I bet they got eaten up
by scavengers.
1466
01:27:35,479 --> 01:27:37,344
- It's a terrible shame.
- Dano.
1467
01:27:37,547 --> 01:27:38,844
- Case closed.
- Let's shoot them.
1468
01:27:39,049 --> 01:27:40,949
I wanna shoot the little redhead one
right there.
1469
01:27:41,551 --> 01:27:44,384
Now, look, I'm tired of talking.
1470
01:27:46,256 --> 01:27:48,019
Let's get this done with.
1471
01:27:48,225 --> 01:27:50,716
Over the edge you go, boys.
1472
01:27:50,927 --> 01:27:51,985
- Wait!
- Shut up.
1473
01:27:52,195 --> 01:27:53,753
Wait, sheriff. Wait, wait, wait.
1474
01:27:53,964 --> 01:27:58,128
- Sheriff, I'm gonna shoot them now.
- No, no, let's listen to this.
1475
01:27:58,335 --> 01:28:00,098
Look,
1476
01:28:01,104 --> 01:28:03,595
you and I, we're cut
from the same cloth.
1477
01:28:03,840 --> 01:28:05,774
I mean, we're a lot alike,
don't you think?
1478
01:28:06,009 --> 01:28:10,537
Yeah, sure, I'm better with numbers
and I bathe often.
1479
01:28:10,747 --> 01:28:15,480
I have a dental plan that allows me
to keep all my teeth, unlike yourself.
1480
01:28:18,622 --> 01:28:20,647
- Yeah?
- I learned a little something
1481
01:28:20,857 --> 01:28:24,759
the last couple days, getting chased
by ass-face and dick-chin there.
1482
01:28:24,961 --> 01:28:26,326
And that is...
1483
01:28:26,563 --> 01:28:29,293
I have two of the best friends
anyone could ever ask for.
1484
01:28:29,499 --> 01:28:32,161
I've got the love of a good woman.
1485
01:28:32,369 --> 01:28:36,032
I've got a really good life.
I mean, I've got an amazing life.
1486
01:28:37,407 --> 01:28:41,207
And I've decided that my life's
worth living. Now, you have to decide
1487
01:28:41,411 --> 01:28:44,710
if your life's worth living too,
because if it is,
1488
01:28:45,415 --> 01:28:47,246
you put your gun down.
1489
01:28:47,784 --> 01:28:49,183
And if we don't?
1490
01:28:51,888 --> 01:28:54,686
- Bye, bye, boys.
- It's go time.
1491
01:28:54,891 --> 01:28:57,951
- Do this to him.
- Put the pin back in the grenade.
1492
01:28:58,161 --> 01:29:00,652
- That is my grenade, sir.
- The plan was for me to sacrifice
1493
01:29:00,864 --> 01:29:03,355
myself if need be
while you two ran for it.
1494
01:29:03,567 --> 01:29:04,829
- I didn't know.
- My grenade...
1495
01:29:05,035 --> 01:29:07,731
- I'm not a mind reader, Jerry.
- Give me back my grenade.
1496
01:29:12,442 --> 01:29:13,966
Run!
1497
01:29:14,945 --> 01:29:16,207
It's gonna blow!
1498
01:29:27,357 --> 01:29:28,984
All right, that's it. You're dead.
1499
01:29:29,192 --> 01:29:32,025
When all this is over, someone's
buying the first round. Not it.
1500
01:29:32,229 --> 01:29:34,493
- Not it.
- Enough of this shit. Just shoot them.
1501
01:29:34,698 --> 01:29:36,598
Do you think there's beer in heaven?
1502
01:29:37,534 --> 01:29:38,933
I was thinking about the bar
in town.
1503
01:30:03,293 --> 01:30:05,761
- Let's get off this mountain.
- All right.
1504
01:30:08,331 --> 01:30:13,826
These charges are "unsubstantuated"
and "injustifigurable" and...
1505
01:30:14,037 --> 01:30:17,404
That's right. We did it.
How you like me now?
1506
01:30:17,607 --> 01:30:20,235
This is the scene here
at police headquarters
1507
01:30:20,443 --> 01:30:23,469
as three local heroes emerge
to a cheering crowd.
1508
01:30:23,680 --> 01:30:26,774
The men accidentally helped break up
one of the biggest drug rings
1509
01:30:26,983 --> 01:30:30,919
in state history while hiking
in a remote section of the Cascades.
1510
01:30:31,120 --> 01:30:33,384
My old man would not believe this.
1511
01:30:33,790 --> 01:30:36,350
- Billy wouldn't believe it.
- Actually, know what?
1512
01:30:36,559 --> 01:30:37,924
I think he would.
1513
01:30:38,328 --> 01:30:42,424
Oh, my goodness.
Look at this ensemble. I like it.
1514
01:30:42,632 --> 01:30:44,065
- Look at you.
- Thank you, boys.
1515
01:30:44,267 --> 01:30:46,064
Look at this stud. Del!
1516
01:30:46,269 --> 01:30:48,567
No names. Fuzz.
1517
01:30:49,105 --> 01:30:53,166
Glad I caught you guys before you
headed out. I got something for you.
1518
01:30:53,576 --> 01:30:54,702
What's this?
1519
01:30:55,144 --> 01:30:58,238
- D.B.'s parachute. Are you sure?
- Damn sure.
1520
01:30:58,448 --> 01:31:00,746
There's a little something for you
rolled up inside there too.
1521
01:31:00,950 --> 01:31:02,850
- Thank you.
- So where you headed?
1522
01:31:03,052 --> 01:31:05,987
Thought I'd see the world.
I might even hit Washington.
1523
01:31:06,856 --> 01:31:09,290
Wow. One state over.
1524
01:31:09,492 --> 01:31:13,223
Till I do, I'm just telling tall tales.
1525
01:31:17,433 --> 01:31:21,494
Remember, carry your friends
wherever you go.
1526
01:31:21,871 --> 01:31:23,304
Close to your heart.
1527
01:31:24,040 --> 01:31:26,838
Or on your back.
I got D.B.'s bones in my satchel.
1528
01:31:27,710 --> 01:31:29,905
Thought I'd give him a proper burial.
1529
01:31:31,114 --> 01:31:35,380
I spent 30 years
waiting to have a life.
1530
01:31:38,087 --> 01:31:41,022
- What the hell?
- Oh, my gosh.
1531
01:31:41,257 --> 01:31:42,656
Oh, my God.
1532
01:31:43,826 --> 01:31:44,850
D.B. Didn't burn it all.
1533
01:31:45,695 --> 01:31:47,959
He couldn't. It was Del's share.
1534
01:31:48,197 --> 01:31:49,960
There's gotta be 100 grand in here.
1535
01:31:50,166 --> 01:31:52,657
We'll split it three ways.
1536
01:31:52,902 --> 01:31:54,767
One-third, one-third, one-third?
1537
01:31:55,638 --> 01:31:57,265
You know what?
1538
01:31:58,474 --> 01:32:01,272
No, thanks. I'm...
1539
01:32:01,477 --> 01:32:02,876
- I'm good.
- I'm not good.
1540
01:32:03,112 --> 01:32:04,545
You guys split it.
1541
01:32:05,415 --> 01:32:07,406
You wanna split it? Fifty-fifty?
1542
01:32:08,685 --> 01:32:10,448
Actually, I can't.
1543
01:32:10,653 --> 01:32:14,054
Because I bet you 100 grand
that you couldn't catch a salmon
1544
01:32:14,257 --> 01:32:16,452
with a flashlight and I lost.
1545
01:32:16,693 --> 01:32:20,288
Besides, Tom, you got bills to pay.
You got a new life to start.
1546
01:32:20,863 --> 01:32:21,852
I don't know what to say.
1547
01:32:23,099 --> 01:32:24,400
Just say we're square.
1548
01:32:25,901 --> 01:32:29,166
No, actually, we're not square.
1549
01:32:30,372 --> 01:32:34,138
I seem to recall a certain part
of that wager being one left nut,
1550
01:32:34,343 --> 01:32:36,675
and I'm gonna get it.
Come on, pleated pants, let's go.
1551
01:32:36,879 --> 01:32:38,779
- Hey, Tom. Hey. Hey.
- Oh, no.
1552
01:32:39,214 --> 01:32:40,681
Don't make me go in
through the throat.
1553
01:32:40,883 --> 01:32:43,249
- I'm going through the throat.
- You said I could keep it.
1554
01:32:43,452 --> 01:32:45,352
- No, I didn't.
- Tom, you said I could keep it.
1555
01:32:45,721 --> 01:32:47,188
Jerry! Officer!
1556
01:32:48,824 --> 01:32:51,418
Hi. This is Jerry, and I can't
come to the phone right now,
1557
01:32:51,627 --> 01:32:54,596
because I am busy trying
to convince the love of my life
1558
01:32:54,797 --> 01:32:55,957
to give me another chance.
1559
01:32:56,165 --> 01:32:58,690
And I will prove to her
that I grew up just enough
1560
01:32:58,901 --> 01:33:01,870
to know that I want the responsibility,
day in and day out,
1561
01:33:02,070 --> 01:33:04,095
of being there for her
in this relationship,
1562
01:33:04,306 --> 01:33:07,798
which I am hoping will someday
become marriage and kids
1563
01:33:08,010 --> 01:33:11,138
and a long and unbelievably
happy life together.
1564
01:33:11,580 --> 01:33:12,979
Hi, honey.
1565
01:33:37,906 --> 01:33:40,374
So happy right now.
1566
01:33:41,243 --> 01:33:45,179
That was really, really beautiful.
1567
01:33:50,552 --> 01:33:54,249
- Will you get the light, hon?
- Oh, yeah.
1568
01:33:56,758 --> 01:33:59,249
You're so good at that now.
1569
01:34:01,463 --> 01:34:04,990
And then I jumped on the grenade
to save my buddies and...
1570
01:34:05,200 --> 01:34:07,430
Blew my rib cage all to shit.
1571
01:34:07,636 --> 01:34:09,763
Sent me 156 feet in the air.
1572
01:34:09,972 --> 01:34:13,703
Then I went back and paid off
all my debts in full with D.B.'s money.
1573
01:34:17,312 --> 01:34:18,438
One question.
1574
01:34:19,815 --> 01:34:21,476
What's a downstairs?
1575
01:34:28,748 --> 01:34:41,477
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