1
00:02:54,018 --> 00:02:55,677
You derelicts know what time it is?

2
00:02:55,907 --> 00:02:56,605
What?

3
00:02:56,771 --> 00:02:59,422
It is bug-betting time! All right?!

4
00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:02,527
First bug to get fried wins $2.
I got the green one.

5
00:03:02,690 --> 00:03:03,967
$2 on the June bug.

6
00:03:08,546 --> 00:03:12,605
You must actually let go of the
money in order for it to be a bet.

7
00:03:12,771 --> 00:03:16,066
Round and round she goes,
where she stops... Number 2!

8
00:03:25,826 --> 00:03:28,215
Any of you shitheads ever get bored?

9
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,625
You ever get bored?

10
00:03:32,131 --> 00:03:33,822
'Cause I got a riddle.

11
00:03:35,491 --> 00:03:38,458
Takes about 2 ounces of
brains to figure it out.

12
00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:41,666
Anybody think they got a
brain with 2 ounces of brain?

13
00:03:41,827 --> 00:03:43,802
There's a rumor Earl does.

14
00:03:45,026 --> 00:03:48,856
For chrissakes, boys, come on, a little
self-confidence from the gallery.

15
00:03:49,027 --> 00:03:50,620
This ain't long division.

16
00:03:50,787 --> 00:03:53,242
- How much we got to lose?
- Want to liven things up?

17
00:03:53,411 --> 00:03:55,102
That's a hell of an idea!

18
00:03:55,971 --> 00:03:59,266
Everyone puts in 20 bucks.
Pot goes to whoever solves the riddle.

19
00:03:59,427 --> 00:04:00,921
You'll get the riddle.

20
00:04:02,691 --> 00:04:04,928
I'm the one asking the riddle.

21
00:04:05,091 --> 00:04:07,742
I already know the answer.
I don't get a guess.

22
00:04:08,868 --> 00:04:11,802
Although we could say if I get
to 500 bounces on the wedge...

23
00:04:12,451 --> 00:04:15,004
...and no one gets the
riddle, I get the pot.

24
00:04:15,651 --> 00:04:18,302
Now, I know you're thinking
it's an impossible riddle.

25
00:04:18,468 --> 00:04:19,962
It's not. It's easy.

26
00:04:20,132 --> 00:04:22,685
And if somehow, by the
grace of fluke luck...

27
00:04:22,851 --> 00:04:26,780
...I win and y'all don't agree that
it was an easy riddle, then...

28
00:04:27,427 --> 00:04:28,921
...I'll refund your money.

29
00:04:32,131 --> 00:04:32,862
I'm in!

30
00:04:33,124 --> 00:04:34,334
Money in the bank.

31
00:04:34,499 --> 00:04:35,263
I'll hold it.

32
00:04:35,427 --> 00:04:36,126
Give it.

33
00:04:36,292 --> 00:04:39,259
A man's driving down
the road with his son.

34
00:04:39,428 --> 00:04:40,605
He gets in a crash.

35
00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:41,882
Two ambulances come...

36
00:04:42,052 --> 00:04:44,769
...and they take the man and
his son to different hospitals.

37
00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:47,009
Different hospitals.

38
00:04:47,427 --> 00:04:50,362
Son goes into the operating
room, all right?

39
00:04:50,692 --> 00:04:52,764
Doctor looks at him, says:

40
00:04:53,412 --> 00:04:55,419
"I can't operate on this boy.

41
00:04:55,748 --> 00:04:56,926
He's my son. "

42
00:04:57,091 --> 00:04:59,328
Now, how is that possible?

43
00:04:59,907 --> 00:05:01,817
How is that possible?

44
00:05:12,548 --> 00:05:13,889
Clock's ticking.

45
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,481
Father's at the other hospital?

46
00:05:15,652 --> 00:05:16,928
He didn't sneak over?

47
00:05:17,092 --> 00:05:18,521
No one beamed him aboard.

48
00:05:18,788 --> 00:05:22,847
All right, what if the father
married the son's daughter?

49
00:05:23,012 --> 00:05:24,288
This is a family riddle.

50
00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:25,885
Think clean thoughts.

51
00:05:26,052 --> 00:05:27,328
Give us a hint.

52
00:05:27,492 --> 00:05:28,867
You want a hint?

53
00:05:29,668 --> 00:05:31,326
The doctor's a woman.

54
00:05:33,668 --> 00:05:35,424
The doctor's a woman.

55
00:05:37,252 --> 00:05:39,423
The doctor's the son's mother.

56
00:05:39,748 --> 00:05:43,578
Feminists pose the riddle to
reveal sexual stereotypes.

57
00:05:43,748 --> 00:05:45,985
I take it you're a feminist.

58
00:05:47,908 --> 00:05:51,421
I've been called many things,
but never been saddled with that.

59
00:05:51,589 --> 00:05:53,182
You might try being saddled.

60
00:05:53,413 --> 00:05:55,268
Smell of leather, a whip's sting.

61
00:05:56,228 --> 00:05:58,847
I'm just a humble golf pro.
Could I help you?

62
00:05:59,013 --> 00:06:00,442
You're Roy McAvoy?

63
00:06:02,308 --> 00:06:04,697
I pictured something different.

64
00:06:05,348 --> 00:06:06,690
I have a 7:00 lesson.

65
00:06:07,012 --> 00:06:08,386
I thought I had a Dr. Griswold.

66
00:06:11,749 --> 00:06:13,025
That's me.

67
00:06:22,853 --> 00:06:26,148
First thing you must learn is
this game ain't about hitting...

68
00:06:26,308 --> 00:06:27,585
...a ball in a hole.

69
00:06:27,749 --> 00:06:31,426
It's about inner demons,
self-doubt, human frailty...

70
00:06:31,589 --> 00:06:33,083
...and overcoming that crap.

71
00:06:33,253 --> 00:06:35,806
What kind of doctor
did you say you were?

72
00:06:35,973 --> 00:06:36,921
Psychologist.

73
00:06:37,413 --> 00:06:41,504
I'm a neo-Jungian, post-modern
Freudian, holistic secularist.

74
00:06:43,429 --> 00:06:44,542
Okay.

75
00:06:45,189 --> 00:06:47,491
Inner demons and human
frailty is my life's work.

76
00:06:47,653 --> 00:06:50,370
I used to practice in El Paso,
but I moved here now.

77
00:06:50,693 --> 00:06:52,548
What is all this stuff?

78
00:06:52,709 --> 00:06:54,367
I got it from the Golf Channel.

79
00:06:54,533 --> 00:06:57,021
Well, it's a waste of money.

80
00:06:57,413 --> 00:07:01,504
I'm sure there are some
excesses and repetitions here,

81
00:07:01,669 --> 00:07:03,906
but I believe in gathering knowledge.

82
00:07:04,069 --> 00:07:06,938
There must be some truth to the
golf swing illustrated here...

83
00:07:07,109 --> 00:07:10,143
I thought you would kind of
help me sort through it.

84
00:07:10,309 --> 00:07:12,448
I have dozens of golf videotapes.

85
00:07:12,613 --> 00:07:13,890
I bet she has a golf watch.

86
00:07:14,213 --> 00:07:15,260
Got a golf watch?

87
00:07:15,813 --> 00:07:17,668
I think I got a good one.

88
00:07:17,990 --> 00:07:19,102
Right there.

89
00:07:19,493 --> 00:07:20,868
Take it off.

90
00:07:21,093 --> 00:07:21,725
Off?

91
00:07:21,893 --> 00:07:24,129
All of it, right now. All of it.

92
00:07:24,293 --> 00:07:26,530
You're a smart woman, for chrissakes.

93
00:07:28,101 --> 00:07:30,490
Don't you know the work of
hustlers when you see it?

94
00:07:30,661 --> 00:07:31,938
Well, no.

95
00:07:33,190 --> 00:07:34,367
I mean...

96
00:07:35,174 --> 00:07:37,825
...I can always tell when
someone's lying to himself.

97
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:41,023
But I'm susceptible and frequently
wrong when a person lies to me.

98
00:07:41,189 --> 00:07:43,578
This stuff cost me over $200.

99
00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,822
It's $200 of shit.

100
00:07:47,013 --> 00:07:49,021
Well, that's just great.

101
00:07:49,189 --> 00:07:51,972
Let's do this the old-fashioned way.
Just swing.

102
00:07:52,709 --> 00:07:53,822
All right.

103
00:08:02,054 --> 00:08:03,003
Come up.

104
00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:07,008
Excuse me.

105
00:08:11,654 --> 00:08:12,864
Fuck.

106
00:08:14,949 --> 00:08:16,705
You talk like a golfer.

107
00:08:16,869 --> 00:08:19,325
That's a pretty girl to
have such an ugly swing.

108
00:08:20,870 --> 00:08:21,982
Oh, God!

109
00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:23,579
Oh, that hurt.

110
00:08:23,750 --> 00:08:24,764
Shit!

111
00:08:26,534 --> 00:08:27,908
"Fuck. " "Shit. "

112
00:08:28,070 --> 00:08:29,826
These are technical golf terms.

113
00:08:29,990 --> 00:08:31,900
You're using them on your first lesson.

114
00:08:32,454 --> 00:08:33,828
This is promising.

115
00:08:33,990 --> 00:08:34,786
Great.

116
00:08:35,174 --> 00:08:37,891
Wise-ass. Show me. Just go ahead.

117
00:08:51,494 --> 00:08:52,868
Something like that.

118
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,163
That's impressive.

119
00:08:55,430 --> 00:08:57,667
I tend to process things verbally...

120
00:08:57,831 --> 00:09:00,548
...so can you break down
into words how you did that?

121
00:09:05,894 --> 00:09:08,709
"What Is The Golf Swing,"
by Roy McAvoy?

122
00:09:10,470 --> 00:09:12,772
I think of the golf swing as a poem.

123
00:09:12,935 --> 00:09:14,942
He's doing that poetry thing again.

124
00:09:15,111 --> 00:09:18,209
The opening phrase of this
poem will always be the grip.

125
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:22,213
The hands unite to form a single
unit by the simple overlap of the...

126
00:09:23,335 --> 00:09:24,382
...little finger.

127
00:09:24,551 --> 00:09:25,249
Right.

128
00:09:25,575 --> 00:09:27,582
Lowly and slowly...

129
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:31,263
...the club head is led back, pulled
into position not by the hands,

130
00:09:31,431 --> 00:09:33,503
...but the body, which turns
away from the target,

131
00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:36,453
...shifting weight to the right side
without shifting balance.

132
00:09:36,615 --> 00:09:40,706
Tempo is all, perfection unattainable,
as at the top of the swing...

133
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:43,653
...there's a hesitation,
a little nod to the gods.

134
00:09:44,455 --> 00:09:46,462
A nod to the gods?

135
00:09:46,950 --> 00:09:49,568
To the gods that he is fallible.

136
00:09:50,151 --> 00:09:51,973
That perfection is unattainable.

137
00:09:52,135 --> 00:09:55,910
Weight shifts to the left pulled
by the powers in the earth...

138
00:09:56,071 --> 00:09:58,143
...it's alive, this swing,
and a sculpture...

139
00:09:58,311 --> 00:10:00,548
...and down through contact...

140
00:10:00,711 --> 00:10:02,783
...striking the ball crisply...

141
00:10:03,015 --> 00:10:04,226
...with character.

142
00:10:04,391 --> 00:10:08,068
A tuning fork goes off in
your heart, your balls...

143
00:10:08,935 --> 00:10:11,902
...such a pure feeling is
the well-struck golf shot.

144
00:10:12,775 --> 00:10:14,684
Then the follow-through to finish...

145
00:10:14,855 --> 00:10:16,229
...always on line.

146
00:10:16,391 --> 00:10:19,009
The reverse-C of the Golden Bear...

147
00:10:19,591 --> 00:10:22,373
...the steelworkers' power and
the brawn of Carl Sandburg's...

148
00:10:22,695 --> 00:10:24,386
...Arnold Palmer!

149
00:10:25,351 --> 00:10:27,107
He's doing the
"Arnold Palmer" thing.

150
00:10:27,911 --> 00:10:29,734
And the unfinished symphony of...

151
00:10:30,055 --> 00:10:31,746
...Roy McAvoy.

152
00:10:33,511 --> 00:10:35,169
What's unfinished?

153
00:10:36,231 --> 00:10:39,908
I have a short follow-through.
It has an unfinished look.

154
00:10:40,615 --> 00:10:41,563
Why?

155
00:10:42,951 --> 00:10:46,945
Some say it's the easiest way to
play in the winds of west Texas...

156
00:10:47,112 --> 00:10:51,006
...some say it's because I never
finished anything in my life.

157
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:54,140
You can decide. But the point is...

158
00:10:54,375 --> 00:10:56,547
...every finishing position is unique.

159
00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:00,773
That's what the golf swing's about.

160
00:11:02,055 --> 00:11:04,870
It's about gaining control
of your life and...

161
00:11:05,096 --> 00:11:07,103
...letting go at the same time.

162
00:11:09,415 --> 00:11:10,626
Jeez Louise.

163
00:11:10,791 --> 00:11:13,661
There's only one other acceptable
theory about how to hit the ball.

164
00:11:13,832 --> 00:11:16,287
Oh, boy, well, I'm afraid to ask.

165
00:11:16,456 --> 00:11:18,365
What's the other theory?

166
00:11:18,536 --> 00:11:20,445
Grip it and rip it.

167
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,925
Well, you know...

168
00:11:25,576 --> 00:11:28,773
...while I do appreciate your
poetic sensibility, Mr. McAvoy...

169
00:11:28,936 --> 00:11:30,692
Call me Roy, Molly.

170
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:35,329
Call me Dr. Griswold, Roy. I think I'm
more of the grip it and rip it school.

171
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,790
Then let's tee it up.

172
00:11:38,152 --> 00:11:39,494
All right, waggle.

173
00:11:40,776 --> 00:11:41,824
Waggle.

174
00:11:43,272 --> 00:11:44,220
No, look.

175
00:11:44,392 --> 00:11:45,886
He's got her waggling now.

176
00:11:46,312 --> 00:11:47,654
Waggle the...

177
00:11:47,816 --> 00:11:49,506
...club head, okay?

178
00:11:50,472 --> 00:11:52,709
It's a relaxing ritual we do.

179
00:11:53,512 --> 00:11:54,854
Just waggle it.

180
00:11:57,192 --> 00:11:59,331
Waggle it and let the big dog eat.

181
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,527
What big dog?

182
00:12:02,792 --> 00:12:04,450
The driver, the #1-wood.

183
00:12:04,616 --> 00:12:06,307
- This is metal.
- All woods are.

184
00:12:06,472 --> 00:12:08,294
The driver's known as the big dog.

185
00:12:08,456 --> 00:12:11,326
I'm just saying let him
loose, let it rip...

186
00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:13,187
...let the big dog eat.

187
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,971
You know, this is without a doubt
the stupidest, silliest...

188
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,269
...most idiotic, grotesquely
masquerading game ever invented.

189
00:12:31,432 --> 00:12:33,669
Yes, that's why I love it.

190
00:12:33,833 --> 00:12:36,069
If you hit one good shot...

191
00:12:36,232 --> 00:12:38,851
...and that tuning fork
rings in your loins...

192
00:12:40,297 --> 00:12:41,671
...and you can't wait...

193
00:12:41,832 --> 00:12:42,781
...to get back.

194
00:12:43,113 --> 00:12:44,454
Try it again.

195
00:12:56,137 --> 00:12:58,209
The big dog just ate something.

196
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:02,695
Did that tuning fork ring in your loins?

197
00:13:03,017 --> 00:13:05,253
Well, I wouldn't go that far.

198
00:13:06,857 --> 00:13:09,093
I always say quit on a good shot.

199
00:13:09,257 --> 00:13:11,167
We'll call that lesson #1?

200
00:13:11,913 --> 00:13:13,091
Okay.

201
00:13:13,577 --> 00:13:14,689
And...

202
00:13:15,593 --> 00:13:17,186
...if you wouldn't mind...

203
00:13:17,353 --> 00:13:19,011
...paying me in cash?

204
00:13:19,337 --> 00:13:23,112
There's a little situation
I'm dealing with the IRS.

205
00:13:23,273 --> 00:13:27,496
I got to bob and weave around the
facts of life, if you know what I mean.

206
00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:30,148
Can I ask you a question?

207
00:13:30,793 --> 00:13:34,055
If you're such a legendary
golfer, as everyone says...

208
00:13:34,218 --> 00:13:37,032
...then why are you, at your age,
out here in the sticks...

209
00:13:37,194 --> 00:13:40,063
...operating a barely-solvent
business, ducking the IRS...

210
00:13:40,233 --> 00:13:44,291
...collecting a few dollars for beer
when you're capable of much more?

211
00:13:48,553 --> 00:13:50,855
Perhaps I'm chock-full of inner demons.

212
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:53,508
No.

213
00:13:53,673 --> 00:13:55,495
You're chock-full of bullshit.

214
00:13:56,394 --> 00:13:57,506
Anyway...

215
00:13:57,673 --> 00:13:59,167
...same time next week?

216
00:14:04,457 --> 00:14:07,491
What'd you mean I should
try being saddled sometime?

217
00:14:09,353 --> 00:14:12,387
Were you being literal or
was that some Freudian deal?

218
00:14:13,098 --> 00:14:14,210
Molly?

219
00:14:14,378 --> 00:14:15,174
Doctor?

220
00:14:15,338 --> 00:14:17,094
What kind of saddle?

221
00:14:41,866 --> 00:14:45,215
David Simms. What the
hell are you doing here?

222
00:14:45,386 --> 00:14:46,913
Hey, there, Romeo.

223
00:14:47,530 --> 00:14:48,643
Been a while.

224
00:14:50,026 --> 00:14:51,455
Tin Cup around?

225
00:14:51,786 --> 00:14:54,819
No, he's in Houston on business.

226
00:14:54,986 --> 00:14:55,782
You know.

227
00:14:56,426 --> 00:14:59,295
I thought you were supposed to
be out on the pro golf tour.

228
00:15:01,866 --> 00:15:06,405
You tell Tin Cup that I'm in town for
my big charity Best Ball Tournament.

229
00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:08,997
I got a spot for him.

230
00:15:09,130 --> 00:15:11,137
If he ever gets back from...

231
00:15:11,946 --> 00:15:13,539
Houston.

232
00:15:13,706 --> 00:15:15,299
Yeah, wherever.

233
00:15:15,723 --> 00:15:16,900
I thought you hated him.

234
00:15:17,066 --> 00:15:19,783
Hell, I haven't even thought
about him in a dozen years.

235
00:15:22,346 --> 00:15:25,215
Not since the good old days at
the University of Houston...

236
00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:27,839
...where we won all
them titles together.

237
00:15:28,746 --> 00:15:30,121
God almighty.

238
00:15:30,410 --> 00:15:33,542
He says he carried you on
his back all them years.

239
00:15:33,707 --> 00:15:36,968
I didn't have much craft
back then, just a little...

240
00:15:37,131 --> 00:15:38,756
...native ability.

241
00:15:39,723 --> 00:15:41,217
Now, old Roy...

242
00:15:41,546 --> 00:15:43,619
...he's a hell of a ball-striker.

243
00:15:43,851 --> 00:15:44,898
What do you want?

244
00:15:46,731 --> 00:15:49,448
- I want to win my own tournament.
- I bet you do.

245
00:15:49,867 --> 00:15:53,860
He can help me if we can behave
like grown-ups together.

246
00:15:54,986 --> 00:15:56,513
You never know.

247
00:15:59,275 --> 00:16:00,649
You tell him that.

248
00:16:00,843 --> 00:16:02,403
I'll be sure to tell him.

249
00:16:03,307 --> 00:16:05,063
What's the catch?

250
00:16:08,043 --> 00:16:09,384
Hello, Cup.

251
00:16:10,346 --> 00:16:12,102
There is no catch.

252
00:16:12,491 --> 00:16:14,084
I put together a tournament...

253
00:16:14,283 --> 00:16:16,672
...with an elite field of players...

254
00:16:16,811 --> 00:16:18,819
...and a half-million dollar purse.

255
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:22,244
And, by God, I'm tired of seeing
the money head out of town.

256
00:16:22,443 --> 00:16:23,785
Make more birdies.

257
00:16:29,163 --> 00:16:30,985
That's where you come in.

258
00:16:31,211 --> 00:16:32,804
I need you on my team.

259
00:16:33,131 --> 00:16:35,619
Well, I repeat: What's the catch?

260
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:38,984
We're playing Cottonwood,
where you once shot a 59.

261
00:16:39,147 --> 00:16:42,180
Where you can still
shoot a 65 in your sleep.

262
00:16:42,347 --> 00:16:46,722
You know every bump on the fairway
and every subtle break on every green.

263
00:16:47,211 --> 00:16:48,586
Hot tub, Roy?

264
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:51,943
It's a spa.

265
00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:56,326
You and me at Cottonwood?

266
00:16:56,811 --> 00:16:58,437
Kind of like old times.

267
00:17:02,284 --> 00:17:03,047
Yeah.

268
00:17:03,244 --> 00:17:05,633
Well, put her there, partner!

269
00:17:06,124 --> 00:17:09,385
These two homeboys will show the
world what golf in Texas is about!

270
00:17:10,252 --> 00:17:12,423
I'll be a birdie-making machine!

271
00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:15,942
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute there, Roy.

272
00:17:16,107 --> 00:17:19,784
I didn't mean I wanted you to play
with me. I want you to caddy.

273
00:17:19,948 --> 00:17:23,144
You know, read the greens,
club me, that kind of stuff.

274
00:17:30,604 --> 00:17:31,618
Caddy?

275
00:17:32,172 --> 00:17:33,698
Come on, Roy.

276
00:17:33,867 --> 00:17:36,834
I can't bring a guy in off the
street to play in my tournament.

277
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:42,820
For chrissakes, guys, this
has become a big-time event.

278
00:17:43,148 --> 00:17:46,344
Hell, I got corporate sponsors
and 30 bucks a ticket.

279
00:17:46,507 --> 00:17:50,184
This guy off the street can
kick your ass at golf anytime.

280
00:17:50,348 --> 00:17:51,722
Like he did in Junior Golf.

281
00:17:51,852 --> 00:17:53,707
Like he did in... No, fuck it.

282
00:17:57,004 --> 00:17:58,433
I'll give you $100.

283
00:17:58,924 --> 00:18:01,063
And 5% of any earnings.

284
00:18:01,932 --> 00:18:03,623
Get out of here!

285
00:18:03,852 --> 00:18:07,365
Take your pinche color coordinated
sponsored chingada and...

286
00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:10,499
...and take a flying fuck on the...
No, I got it.

287
00:18:13,868 --> 00:18:15,461
I was just offering work.

288
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:16,741
Thank you very much.

289
00:18:21,772 --> 00:18:23,201
I'll take the job.

290
00:18:24,108 --> 00:18:26,279
Yeah, we'll take the job.

291
00:18:55,757 --> 00:18:58,310
It might be more than
you got in your bag.

292
00:18:58,477 --> 00:18:59,906
I could make that.

293
00:19:03,116 --> 00:19:04,294
Shit.

294
00:19:07,117 --> 00:19:08,131
Is he on?

295
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:09,893
He's on.

296
00:19:10,157 --> 00:19:12,066
Pretty good shape too.

297
00:19:12,812 --> 00:19:15,911
Tin Cup can do it. I seen
him do it lots of times.

298
00:19:16,621 --> 00:19:19,010
You have extra-large huevos.

299
00:19:35,181 --> 00:19:36,294
Son-of-a-bitch.

300
00:19:36,461 --> 00:19:38,054
I told you.

301
00:19:38,221 --> 00:19:42,312
I had to. Your caddy said he'd
get on the green from here.

302
00:19:44,301 --> 00:19:45,511
I could.

303
00:19:50,477 --> 00:19:52,616
I got to hand it to you, Roy.

304
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:56,716
For 15 holes, you seemed
to grasp the concept here.

305
00:19:56,877 --> 00:20:00,390
I'm trying to win this tournament
and your job is to help me.

306
00:20:03,437 --> 00:20:04,385
7- iron.

307
00:20:04,557 --> 00:20:05,834
I'm going to lay up.

308
00:20:09,357 --> 00:20:11,659
You can make that shot. Hell, I can.

309
00:20:11,821 --> 00:20:12,868
Easy.

310
00:20:14,157 --> 00:20:18,467
I know I can make this damn shot,
but the smart play is to lay up.

311
00:20:19,597 --> 00:20:23,787
These people didn't pay 30 bucks to see
a tour star lay up on a short par 5.

312
00:20:23,949 --> 00:20:26,666
I'm sitting on a 2-shot
lead with 3 to go.

313
00:20:26,829 --> 00:20:29,218
Thanks to you, my
partner's in his pocket.

314
00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:30,732
Suddenly, par's a hell
of a number to me.

315
00:20:31,246 --> 00:20:33,547
13 years on the tour,
you're still a pussy.

316
00:20:33,709 --> 00:20:37,801
Goddamn it, David, just hit
the fucking 3! Hit it!

317
00:20:38,349 --> 00:20:40,488
13 years in the driving range.

318
00:20:40,686 --> 00:20:43,849
You still think this game is
about your testosterone count.

319
00:20:44,334 --> 00:20:45,479
Back up.

320
00:20:48,846 --> 00:20:51,050
230 to carry, and the tour stars...

321
00:20:51,246 --> 00:20:52,490
...lay it up.

322
00:21:03,246 --> 00:21:04,904
Simms, from the rough.

323
00:21:05,069 --> 00:21:06,411
That's a smart play.

324
00:21:13,709 --> 00:21:15,466
You in a hurry, or what?

325
00:21:15,630 --> 00:21:16,328
Why?

326
00:21:16,494 --> 00:21:19,461
I bet Mickelson and McCord your
caddy can knock it on from here.

327
00:21:21,134 --> 00:21:24,004
Come on, guys, we're trying
to win a tournament here.

328
00:21:24,174 --> 00:21:26,989
We are. But I got 5-1.
I think they're good odds.

329
00:21:27,150 --> 00:21:28,197
He can do it.

330
00:21:28,430 --> 00:21:30,666
Let him hit it, it's only an exhibition.

331
00:21:30,830 --> 00:21:31,779
Come on.

332
00:21:32,047 --> 00:21:33,607
You can do it. I got a ball.

333
00:21:33,870 --> 00:21:34,568
Right here.

334
00:21:35,150 --> 00:21:36,165
Come on.

335
00:21:36,366 --> 00:21:38,406
Balls versus brains.

336
00:21:39,150 --> 00:21:40,972
You hit that shot, keep walking.

337
00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:42,824
'Cause your ass is fired.

338
00:21:50,574 --> 00:21:52,909
How'll you do that in front of everyone?

339
00:21:53,454 --> 00:21:55,560
Especially when I knock it on the green.

340
00:21:55,695 --> 00:21:58,248
It looks like the caddy
wants to hit the shot.

341
00:21:58,927 --> 00:22:00,421
What's going on down there?

342
00:22:00,750 --> 00:22:01,862
Boys...

343
00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:04,202
...things have officially changed here.

344
00:22:04,335 --> 00:22:06,986
Forget the 2-shot lead.
Forget the 3 holes to go.

345
00:22:07,151 --> 00:22:08,907
You need a glove.

346
00:22:09,550 --> 00:22:10,663
It'll help.

347
00:22:10,831 --> 00:22:12,424
Some side action.

348
00:22:12,590 --> 00:22:16,813
And the $250,000 purse has
just gotten a little bigger.

349
00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:20,329
You don't think this guy
can pull this shot off?

350
00:22:20,527 --> 00:22:23,210
I'll tell you, I don't
think there's any chance.

351
00:22:23,407 --> 00:22:26,025
This impending disaster's
a driving range pro.

352
00:22:26,191 --> 00:22:29,224
His name is Roy McAvoy
and he's called Tin Cup.

353
00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:33,068
I'm told he was a pretty good college
player, then went on mini-tours.

354
00:22:33,487 --> 00:22:36,105
He'll have to have been a great
college player to pull this off.

355
00:22:36,270 --> 00:22:39,238
He's got 240 yards, he's a
got a television audience.

356
00:22:39,375 --> 00:22:41,644
And he hasn't hit a golf ball yet.

357
00:22:41,775 --> 00:22:43,630
We don't see this everyday.

358
00:22:43,791 --> 00:22:46,344
National television, no warm-up.

359
00:22:46,511 --> 00:22:48,104
I don't know who this guy is.

360
00:22:48,271 --> 00:22:52,581
If he gets it out of there, I'd be
surprised. A pro I'd give 10-1.

361
00:22:52,751 --> 00:22:54,180
Dollar bills.

362
00:22:57,775 --> 00:22:59,302
He's not that good!

363
00:23:00,655 --> 00:23:02,760
Do you believe this?

364
00:23:06,128 --> 00:23:07,688
What a caddy!

365
00:23:07,855 --> 00:23:10,091
- Great shot.
- Thanks for the glove.

366
00:23:12,367 --> 00:23:12,999
You.

367
00:23:13,071 --> 00:23:15,308
Yeah, you, come here. Come here.

368
00:23:16,432 --> 00:23:17,260
Can you carry that?

369
00:23:18,031 --> 00:23:19,079
Pick it up.

370
00:23:22,927 --> 00:23:24,007
Nice shot.

371
00:23:24,175 --> 00:23:25,931
Come here a second.

372
00:23:26,767 --> 00:23:28,971
Take a hike. The loop's over.

373
00:23:29,168 --> 00:23:30,346
What?

374
00:23:30,511 --> 00:23:32,104
You can't fire me.

375
00:23:34,191 --> 00:23:35,402
How can you?

376
00:23:35,536 --> 00:23:38,187
Hey, I just knocked it stiff from 250.

377
00:23:38,671 --> 00:23:40,264
He's always been a jerk.

378
00:23:40,591 --> 00:23:41,868
What about my money?

379
00:23:42,032 --> 00:23:44,585
You hit the shot that took
you out of the money.

380
00:23:44,751 --> 00:23:46,574
Welcome to life on the tour.

381
00:23:48,431 --> 00:23:51,148
The Sports Machine brings
you a bizarre incident...

382
00:23:51,311 --> 00:23:54,345
...at the charity golf event
with tour star David Simms.

383
00:23:54,608 --> 00:23:56,102
Let's go to west Texas...

384
00:23:56,272 --> 00:23:58,727
...where driving range
pro "Tin Cup" McAvoy...

385
00:23:58,928 --> 00:24:01,928
...serving as a caddy to
David Simms at the celebrity event...

386
00:24:02,096 --> 00:24:04,747
...grabbed the 3-wood
out of his own bag...

387
00:24:04,912 --> 00:24:08,741
...and drilled a 240-yard shot
over water to the 16th green...

388
00:24:09,008 --> 00:24:10,731
If I had to do it over...

389
00:24:11,696 --> 00:24:13,452
...I'd still hit that shot.

390
00:24:13,872 --> 00:24:15,149
I know.

391
00:24:16,016 --> 00:24:19,179
You'd bury yourself alive to
prove you could handle a shovel.

392
00:24:19,376 --> 00:24:21,547
You know why?

393
00:24:23,056 --> 00:24:25,390
It's the only way you
could beat Dave Simms.

394
00:24:25,552 --> 00:24:26,501
No.

395
00:24:26,896 --> 00:24:28,968
'Cause you get that look on your face.

396
00:24:29,168 --> 00:24:31,557
Because that shot was a defining moment.

397
00:24:31,696 --> 00:24:35,209
When a defining moment comes along,
you define the moment...

398
00:24:35,408 --> 00:24:37,318
...or the moment defines you.

399
00:24:37,808 --> 00:24:40,590
I did not shrink from the
challenge, I rose to it.

400
00:24:40,752 --> 00:24:44,746
1981, Fort Washington Golf Club,
Fresno, California, ring a bell?

401
00:24:45,296 --> 00:24:47,533
The final tour-qualifying round?

402
00:24:47,696 --> 00:24:49,605
I was playing to win.

403
00:24:50,417 --> 00:24:53,930
Tried to hit the same impossible
cut 3-wood into the wind.

404
00:24:54,257 --> 00:24:57,224
- I was playing to win.
- 5 in a row, out of bounds.

405
00:24:57,392 --> 00:24:58,985
You finally pulled it off...

406
00:24:59,153 --> 00:25:01,870
...and tapped it in for a
crowd-pleasing 13.

407
00:25:02,289 --> 00:25:04,427
A 12 would have got you on the tour.

408
00:25:04,592 --> 00:25:05,705
Now that...

409
00:25:05,873 --> 00:25:07,466
...was a defining moment.

410
00:25:07,697 --> 00:25:10,031
And the definition was "shit. "

411
00:25:10,673 --> 00:25:13,128
Greatness courts failure, Romeo.

412
00:25:13,616 --> 00:25:15,853
You may be right, but you know what?

413
00:25:16,592 --> 00:25:18,981
Sometimes power is good enough to win.

414
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,262
We owe her $12,000.

415
00:25:28,433 --> 00:25:30,255
No, I owe her $12,000.

416
00:25:30,417 --> 00:25:33,134
Fine, you owe her $12,000.
Like it makes a difference.

417
00:25:33,297 --> 00:25:34,442
It does.

418
00:25:34,577 --> 00:25:36,170
I only got one rule:

419
00:25:36,369 --> 00:25:39,151
Never bet money you don't
have on a dog race...

420
00:25:39,313 --> 00:25:42,542
...with an ex-girlfriend who is also
a stripper. You broke that rule.

421
00:25:42,705 --> 00:25:46,054
You need tell her something
nice to start off with.

422
00:25:46,256 --> 00:25:48,166
An ice-breaker. That's not hard.

423
00:25:48,369 --> 00:25:51,533
I'll say something. If it don't
come out right, you say it better.

424
00:25:51,729 --> 00:25:53,387
Doreen's looking for you.

425
00:25:53,553 --> 00:25:54,665
I'll bet.

426
00:26:00,977 --> 00:26:02,024
Tin Cup.

427
00:26:02,193 --> 00:26:04,266
Haven't seen you in 3 days.

428
00:26:04,433 --> 00:26:05,229
Been busy.

429
00:26:06,737 --> 00:26:07,686
Hi, sweetie.

430
00:26:07,857 --> 00:26:08,806
Hi, honey.

431
00:26:15,377 --> 00:26:17,232
That better be you, Roy.

432
00:26:17,393 --> 00:26:19,149
Just be nice.

433
00:26:24,113 --> 00:26:25,226
Doreen...

434
00:26:26,289 --> 00:26:29,388
...you're looking
particularly lovely tonight.

435
00:26:29,650 --> 00:26:31,854
It's nicer than the leopard suit.

436
00:26:32,049 --> 00:26:33,227
Cut the shit.

437
00:26:33,617 --> 00:26:35,406
You owe me $12,000.

438
00:26:35,537 --> 00:26:37,806
We're going to pay it, don't worry.

439
00:26:37,938 --> 00:26:39,465
I know you'll pay me.

440
00:26:39,633 --> 00:26:42,186
12 smackeroos. Where is it?

441
00:26:44,338 --> 00:26:46,345
- There.
- What is this?

442
00:26:47,057 --> 00:26:49,229
With equity and inventory it's worth...

443
00:26:49,810 --> 00:26:51,785
...12 grand, more or less.

444
00:26:51,953 --> 00:26:54,736
This is how you think you'll settle up?

445
00:26:54,898 --> 00:26:57,003
By giving me the driving range?

446
00:26:57,138 --> 00:27:01,448
Only on condition you don't sell
right away, and we keep our jobs.

447
00:27:01,618 --> 00:27:05,230
What in the world would I want
with your stupid driving range?

448
00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:06,603
Equity.

449
00:27:06,738 --> 00:27:07,687
Inventory.

450
00:27:07,857 --> 00:27:08,806
Cash flow.

451
00:27:09,010 --> 00:27:11,628
Plus an enhanced stature
in the community...

452
00:27:11,793 --> 00:27:15,722
...and a pre-paid membership
in Salome Chamber of Commerce.

453
00:27:16,497 --> 00:27:17,926
What are your labor costs?

454
00:27:18,674 --> 00:27:20,528
Everybody gets what they get.

455
00:27:23,538 --> 00:27:25,447
The tractor kid gets four.

456
00:27:26,193 --> 00:27:28,332
The tractor kid gets 5 bucks an hour.

457
00:27:29,458 --> 00:27:31,465
Give me, like, 6.

458
00:27:32,818 --> 00:27:34,923
And Romeo gets 10. Cash.

459
00:27:35,058 --> 00:27:36,432
What do you get?

460
00:27:37,938 --> 00:27:39,050
Me?

461
00:27:39,250 --> 00:27:41,770
To stand around and hit golf balls...

462
00:27:41,938 --> 00:27:44,905
...when you're not breaking for
beers or to gather the guys up...

463
00:27:45,074 --> 00:27:47,311
...to bet on which
crow'll fly off first.

464
00:27:48,371 --> 00:27:50,280
You mean my managerial salary?

465
00:27:50,418 --> 00:27:54,673
I'm referring to every nickel you take
from the till, every bag of nuts.

466
00:27:54,835 --> 00:27:57,006
That is what I'm referring to.

467
00:27:57,138 --> 00:27:59,048
He'll take the deal.

468
00:28:00,434 --> 00:28:01,809
What is the deal?

469
00:28:02,290 --> 00:28:05,868
Let's just say the driving
range is worth $10,000.

470
00:28:06,034 --> 00:28:07,944
You still owe me 2.

471
00:28:42,546 --> 00:28:44,073
She's been here a while.

472
00:28:45,747 --> 00:28:46,641
Am I early?

473
00:28:47,123 --> 00:28:51,662
Mr. McAvoy, I can appreciate that you
have a fairly laid-back lifestyle...

474
00:28:51,827 --> 00:28:53,354
...but I have hours to keep.

475
00:28:53,523 --> 00:28:57,101
All right. A former paramour
once ascribed my...

476
00:28:57,267 --> 00:29:01,096
...fluid sense of time to being
born under the sign of Pisces.

477
00:29:01,267 --> 00:29:04,301
Something about floating
through the universe.

478
00:29:04,467 --> 00:29:06,540
Oh, you amuse me, Roy.

479
00:29:06,867 --> 00:29:11,275
But I'm the only woman born after World
War II who thinks astrology's bullshit.

480
00:29:11,443 --> 00:29:13,417
Let's see if the big dog'll eat.

481
00:29:13,747 --> 00:29:14,794
Waggle.

482
00:29:16,083 --> 00:29:16,912
I'm waggling.

483
00:29:16,979 --> 00:29:18,223
Set up to the ball.

484
00:29:18,963 --> 00:29:20,141
I am.

485
00:29:23,571 --> 00:29:25,992
You're trying to wring the club's neck.

486
00:29:26,483 --> 00:29:27,825
Show a little warmth.

487
00:29:28,083 --> 00:29:29,741
A little compassion.

488
00:29:30,388 --> 00:29:32,395
Remember this game's about trust...

489
00:29:32,563 --> 00:29:33,577
...and touch...

490
00:29:34,324 --> 00:29:35,753
...and letting go.

491
00:29:35,923 --> 00:29:39,022
So while I subtly enhance
your technical prospects...

492
00:29:40,563 --> 00:29:43,498
...why don't you tell me
about your personal life.

493
00:29:43,668 --> 00:29:45,261
That's none of your business.

494
00:29:46,804 --> 00:29:48,462
Your boyfriend's a golfer.

495
00:29:48,628 --> 00:29:49,576
That's my bet.

496
00:29:49,747 --> 00:29:51,918
He's the reason you're learning.

497
00:29:52,404 --> 00:29:54,029
Hell, I probably even know him.

498
00:29:54,099 --> 00:29:55,561
Get your hands off her.

499
00:29:58,707 --> 00:29:59,820
Hi, honey.

500
00:30:00,563 --> 00:30:01,774
Hi, darling.

501
00:30:02,196 --> 00:30:05,294
He's taking her to Miami
for the fucking Doral!

502
00:30:05,652 --> 00:30:07,474
I can't compete with that!

503
00:30:07,635 --> 00:30:09,545
You are having a bad week.

504
00:30:09,715 --> 00:30:11,690
She must think I'm a nothing.

505
00:30:11,892 --> 00:30:16,267
Such a loser, a lousy driving
range pro, living in a Winnebago.

506
00:30:16,436 --> 00:30:18,126
She doesn't know you live here.

507
00:30:18,260 --> 00:30:20,780
She knows I'm not taking
her to no Doral...

508
00:30:20,915 --> 00:30:23,785
...for massages and mimosas all weekend.

509
00:30:25,460 --> 00:30:28,330
- I didn't leave it out.
- Well, I didn't.

510
00:30:30,419 --> 00:30:32,329
I must do something with my life.

511
00:30:32,532 --> 00:30:34,354
You just threw that in the spa.

512
00:30:34,516 --> 00:30:37,450
Must rise to a level worthy of
the women who think I'm a joke.

513
00:30:37,620 --> 00:30:40,435
You could go out and win the
U.S. Open. That'd impress her.

514
00:30:40,820 --> 00:30:41,868
What?

515
00:30:42,035 --> 00:30:42,832
Win the Open.

516
00:30:43,476 --> 00:30:45,712
She'll think, "You're wonderful, Roy. "

517
00:30:47,540 --> 00:30:49,613
Romeo, that idea has promise.

518
00:30:49,812 --> 00:30:53,773
The U.S. Open? The biggest
golf tournament in the world?

519
00:30:53,940 --> 00:30:55,795
Not just the biggest...

520
00:30:56,116 --> 00:30:58,986
...the most democratic golf
tournament in the world.

521
00:30:59,156 --> 00:31:00,979
- What do you mean?
- It's open.

522
00:31:01,333 --> 00:31:02,412
So?

523
00:31:02,580 --> 00:31:05,395
Anyone with a 2 handicap or
better's got a shot at it.

524
00:31:05,556 --> 00:31:08,590
You just must get through a local
and sectional qualifier, then like...

525
00:31:08,757 --> 00:31:11,953
...Doral or Colonial or
AT&T, they can't keep you out.

526
00:31:12,372 --> 00:31:15,950
They can't ask you if you're
a garbage man or a...

527
00:31:16,116 --> 00:31:18,735
...driving range pro whose
checks are signed by a stripper.

528
00:31:19,221 --> 00:31:21,076
You qualify, you're in.

529
00:31:21,237 --> 00:31:22,513
You don't got the game.

530
00:31:22,676 --> 00:31:24,269
I got every shot in the book.

531
00:31:24,436 --> 00:31:26,192
I'm talking about the game.

532
00:31:26,356 --> 00:31:28,974
The mental game. La
cabeza, you don't got it.

533
00:31:29,396 --> 00:31:33,139
Since you're the authority,
teach me what I ain't...

534
00:31:33,492 --> 00:31:34,921
...and never will be.

535
00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:37,449
What for? You never listen to me.

536
00:31:38,101 --> 00:31:39,857
This time'll be different.

537
00:31:40,021 --> 00:31:41,231
- Right.
- I promise.

538
00:31:41,397 --> 00:31:45,390
You don't have the money to get
your golf clubs out of hock.

539
00:31:45,716 --> 00:31:46,829
That don't fit.

540
00:31:47,413 --> 00:31:49,136
Don't force it if it don't...

541
00:31:50,677 --> 00:31:52,815
Is that what those things were?

542
00:31:52,980 --> 00:31:54,125
Flowers.

543
00:31:55,156 --> 00:31:59,150
You're going to play me
for $400 with those?

544
00:31:59,477 --> 00:32:02,194
And I'll give you two strokes a side.

545
00:32:02,580 --> 00:32:04,588
You ain't got no 400 bucks.

546
00:32:04,757 --> 00:32:06,251
My car title's collateral.

547
00:32:07,221 --> 00:32:09,971
I ain't interested in
that piece of shit.

548
00:32:10,997 --> 00:32:13,812
That's 'cause you think
of it as transportation.

549
00:32:13,941 --> 00:32:15,730
Think of it as bragging rights.

550
00:32:15,957 --> 00:32:20,332
Think of sitting around the bar crowing
about the Cadillac you won from me.

551
00:32:21,557 --> 00:32:24,492
They'll forget all about the
Winnebago you lost to me.

552
00:32:28,245 --> 00:32:30,383
I'll call the INS on you, you midget.

553
00:32:30,549 --> 00:32:33,266
I'll be playing a pink lady today.

554
00:32:33,525 --> 00:32:36,242
That little pink fag ball
supposed to intimidate me?

555
00:32:37,045 --> 00:32:39,434
Not unless I knock it by you.

556
00:32:39,765 --> 00:32:41,259
Louisville Slugger, please.

557
00:32:49,685 --> 00:32:50,634
I believe you're away.

558
00:32:50,805 --> 00:32:52,464
Don't worry about it.

559
00:32:52,694 --> 00:32:55,115
I thought I caught it on the toe.

560
00:32:59,029 --> 00:33:01,899
You drive for show and you
putt for dough, big mouth.

561
00:33:02,069 --> 00:33:04,786
Did you hear that?
Boone was being profound.

562
00:33:04,949 --> 00:33:07,338
Stay out of the rough. I recommend...

563
00:33:07,669 --> 00:33:08,880
...the shovel.

564
00:33:09,046 --> 00:33:10,322
That's what I think.

565
00:33:16,630 --> 00:33:18,386
I want a legitimate swing.

566
00:33:18,550 --> 00:33:19,826
No scooping.

567
00:33:25,206 --> 00:33:26,547
I'll finish.

568
00:33:31,286 --> 00:33:33,108
Get the hell off my course.

569
00:33:33,429 --> 00:33:34,990
Need a receipt?

570
00:33:36,886 --> 00:33:39,603
You know what I think? She's
got you by the huevos.

571
00:33:39,766 --> 00:33:44,305
Your job is to teach me patience and
humility. Don't advise me on love-life.

572
00:33:44,470 --> 00:33:46,510
Not all my thinking
occurs below the belt.

573
00:33:46,742 --> 00:33:50,058
I stand for a few things besides
my next romantic interlude.

574
00:33:50,230 --> 00:33:54,540
You'll have no trouble telling her you
can't teach her until after the Open.

575
00:33:54,710 --> 00:33:57,906
That'd make an issue out of
something that's not an issue.

576
00:33:58,230 --> 00:33:59,441
Besides, I'm focused.

577
00:33:59,606 --> 00:34:00,554
I am!

578
00:34:00,726 --> 00:34:02,068
This is my quest!

579
00:34:02,230 --> 00:34:05,197
This is my stand for the
guys who've had their...

580
00:34:05,366 --> 00:34:08,235
...fill of soulless
robots like David Simms.

581
00:34:08,791 --> 00:34:10,700
He may be a soulless robot...

582
00:34:10,870 --> 00:34:15,180
...but he's a rich, happy soulless robot
with a beautiful doctor-lady girlfriend.

583
00:34:15,351 --> 00:34:18,547
How'll getting into the Open
change her opinion of you?

584
00:34:19,191 --> 00:34:21,908
It'll show her I'm not
who she thinks I am.

585
00:34:22,071 --> 00:34:24,405
You are who she thinks you are, man!

586
00:34:24,566 --> 00:34:28,243
No, I will not give you time
off to go win the Open.

587
00:34:28,406 --> 00:34:29,999
I don't care if it's your quest.

588
00:34:30,166 --> 00:34:31,660
How about my destiny?

589
00:34:31,831 --> 00:34:35,344
Or your destiny. Or any other term
you remember from Cliff Notes.

590
00:34:35,511 --> 00:34:37,366
That looks stupid.

591
00:34:37,527 --> 00:34:39,021
You get mean, then petty.

592
00:34:39,191 --> 00:34:42,965
If you had been just a little nicer
to me when we were an item...

593
00:34:43,127 --> 00:34:45,745
...then maybe I wouldn't
be such a nasty boss.

594
00:34:45,911 --> 00:34:48,398
I have a business to run.
Bye-bye.

595
00:34:48,566 --> 00:34:51,348
Becky, come here, sweetheart.
Right now, hurry up.

596
00:34:51,511 --> 00:34:55,439
Your natural thing is really sweet,
but we don't do natural here.

597
00:34:55,607 --> 00:34:58,868
We do big and bold, colorful
hair, lots of it. Look at me.

598
00:34:59,030 --> 00:35:00,557
That's what we do.

599
00:35:03,926 --> 00:35:07,123
If you're going to take that
tone then we'll talk later.

600
00:35:07,287 --> 00:35:11,826
I'm sorry, I have things to do.
I don't need to be treated like that.

601
00:35:11,991 --> 00:35:13,747
So, good-bye.

602
00:35:15,511 --> 00:35:18,959
It wouldn't kill you just once
to tell her she's beautiful...

603
00:35:19,126 --> 00:35:20,949
...or that she can dance...

604
00:35:21,111 --> 00:35:22,223
...or she's sexy.

605
00:35:22,391 --> 00:35:25,740
Here I am, ready to charge forth
in pursuit of my destiny...

606
00:35:25,911 --> 00:35:28,300
...and I can't get time
off work to do it.

607
00:35:29,367 --> 00:35:32,466
I'm no expert here, but
it seems to me that...

608
00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:34,998
...the pursuit of destiny
isn't something...

609
00:35:35,192 --> 00:35:37,842
...you need to get off
a $7 per hour job to do.

610
00:35:38,007 --> 00:35:39,982
I'm stuck, man. I'm buried.

611
00:35:40,151 --> 00:35:41,361
I need help.

612
00:35:41,527 --> 00:35:44,080
I need advice. I need counseling.

613
00:35:45,431 --> 00:35:46,544
I need a shrink.

614
00:35:46,808 --> 00:35:48,466
You don't know no shrinks.

615
00:35:49,207 --> 00:35:50,484
I know one.

616
00:35:52,087 --> 00:35:54,389
No, no, no, not the doctor-lady.

617
00:35:54,647 --> 00:35:55,759
Why not?

618
00:35:55,896 --> 00:35:59,758
You can't ask her advice about
the woman you're trying to hose.

619
00:36:00,248 --> 00:36:01,425
Why not?

620
00:37:16,728 --> 00:37:18,070
I didn't say shit!

621
00:37:21,272 --> 00:37:23,509
Get in the other room, please.

622
00:37:25,368 --> 00:37:27,986
Sue Ann, honey, it's okay. Okay.

623
00:37:28,152 --> 00:37:30,705
You're going to be fine.
Take a deep breath.

624
00:37:32,888 --> 00:37:34,798
She was crying when she came out.

625
00:37:34,968 --> 00:37:36,561
So maybe it's something you said...

626
00:37:36,728 --> 00:37:38,638
That's the patient exit room.

627
00:37:38,808 --> 00:37:42,867
I knew it was some kind of room.
There were no magazines.

628
00:37:43,032 --> 00:37:44,942
Why are you here?

629
00:37:46,393 --> 00:37:47,822
Therapy.

630
00:37:49,208 --> 00:37:51,510
You've come for therapy? Okay, look.

631
00:37:51,672 --> 00:37:55,763
You need to make an appointment
because I have a client in half an hour.

632
00:37:55,928 --> 00:37:58,001
That's fine, I'm not that fucked up.

633
00:37:58,488 --> 00:38:01,587
Why don't you just have
a seat right there.

634
00:38:01,753 --> 00:38:03,182
Right over there.

635
00:38:20,409 --> 00:38:22,231
So how do I do it?

636
00:38:23,193 --> 00:38:26,641
Therapy, I mean.
How do I start doing it?

637
00:38:28,633 --> 00:38:32,310
In your parlance, "Kick back
and let the big dog eat. "

638
00:38:38,169 --> 00:38:42,064
Suppose there's a guy and he's
standing on the shore of a river...

639
00:38:42,809 --> 00:38:47,511
...and river's full of piranhas,
alligators, eddies, shit like that.

640
00:38:47,673 --> 00:38:50,488
And nobody'll even go
down there to dip a toe.

641
00:38:50,649 --> 00:38:55,351
And on the other side of the river's
a million bucks, on this side a boat.

642
00:38:57,593 --> 00:38:59,350
I guess my question is...

643
00:38:59,514 --> 00:39:02,961
...what would possess
a guy to swim for it?

644
00:39:03,129 --> 00:39:04,406
He's an idiot.

645
00:39:04,570 --> 00:39:06,544
No, see, he's a hell of a swimmer.

646
00:39:06,713 --> 00:39:10,641
His problem is more like why
does he always have to...

647
00:39:10,809 --> 00:39:12,303
...rise to the challenge?

648
00:39:12,473 --> 00:39:14,066
He's a juvenile idiot.

649
00:39:14,137 --> 00:39:15,992
You don't understand.

650
00:39:16,665 --> 00:39:19,665
We're talking about you
and your inner demons.

651
00:39:20,249 --> 00:39:22,453
That human frailty you blather about.

652
00:39:22,521 --> 00:39:25,391
Not some mytho-poetic
metaphor you come up with...

653
00:39:25,753 --> 00:39:28,404
...in a feeble and transparent
effort to do yourself credit.

654
00:39:28,922 --> 00:39:30,994
You're going to make me feel lousy?

655
00:39:31,417 --> 00:39:33,872
I want to feel better. What
kind of therapy is this?

656
00:39:34,201 --> 00:39:37,944
You don't have any inner demons.
You have inner crapola.

657
00:39:38,585 --> 00:39:40,014
Inner debris, garbage...

658
00:39:40,090 --> 00:39:42,512
...horseshit in staggering amounts.

659
00:39:42,585 --> 00:39:45,368
I'm not some just jerk
driving range pro...

660
00:39:45,530 --> 00:39:49,207
...who drinks too much booze,
eats too few vegetables, okay?

661
00:39:49,626 --> 00:39:50,771
Sit down.

662
00:39:50,906 --> 00:39:55,379
You're getting defensive, and I want
you to just tell me why you're here.

663
00:39:57,306 --> 00:39:58,451
A woman.

664
00:39:59,226 --> 00:40:00,371
A woman.

665
00:40:01,146 --> 00:40:02,837
Have you asked her out?

666
00:40:03,258 --> 00:40:05,396
Nah, she's seeing a guy.

667
00:40:05,561 --> 00:40:08,409
But he's a real horse's
ass, if you ask me.

668
00:40:08,474 --> 00:40:11,409
Maybe if you shared your heart
with this woman at dinner...

669
00:40:11,546 --> 00:40:13,815
...these issues would be in the open.

670
00:40:15,066 --> 00:40:16,342
I'm afraid she'll say no.

671
00:40:16,506 --> 00:40:21,078
So, your speeches about swimming
across shark-infested waters...

672
00:40:21,242 --> 00:40:24,024
...are about your golf game and
not about your personal life?

673
00:40:25,946 --> 00:40:26,775
Good, then...

674
00:40:26,906 --> 00:40:29,240
I didn't know we'd get
into my personal life.

675
00:40:29,402 --> 00:40:30,897
This is therapy, Roy.

676
00:40:31,098 --> 00:40:32,113
I know, but...

677
00:40:32,283 --> 00:40:34,192
...I didn't know it was that kind.

678
00:40:34,362 --> 00:40:37,711
Let's make this simple.
Please, sit down right here.

679
00:40:38,299 --> 00:40:43,001
Those risks you love to take on the golf
course you talk so poetically about.

680
00:40:43,482 --> 00:40:47,705
You need to apply those risks to
your personal life as passionately.

681
00:40:47,962 --> 00:40:49,872
I should just ask her out?

682
00:40:50,106 --> 00:40:53,402
And risk coming right over the
top, hooking it out of bounds?

683
00:40:53,562 --> 00:40:54,838
Absolutely, Roy.

684
00:40:55,002 --> 00:40:57,075
- That's good.
- No, I'm sorry.

685
00:40:57,243 --> 00:40:58,257
Look...

686
00:40:58,459 --> 00:41:02,834
...all you must do is walk up to
this woman, look her in the eye...

687
00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:03,951
Look at me.

688
00:41:04,507 --> 00:41:07,376
Look her in the eyes, that's right.
Let down your guard...

689
00:41:07,578 --> 00:41:11,637
...and don't try to be cool,
just be honest and take a risk.

690
00:41:11,802 --> 00:41:14,420
And then, whatever happens,
if you act from the heart...

691
00:41:14,586 --> 00:41:16,277
...you can't make a mistake.

692
00:41:32,826 --> 00:41:33,972
Dr. Griswold...

693
00:41:34,363 --> 00:41:35,311
Yes?

694
00:41:35,963 --> 00:41:37,817
I think I'm in love with you.

695
00:41:38,682 --> 00:41:40,177
From the moment I first saw you...

696
00:41:40,250 --> 00:41:43,960
...I knew I was through with
bar girls and strippers and...

697
00:41:44,123 --> 00:41:47,222
...when you first started talking
I was smitten with you...

698
00:41:47,419 --> 00:41:50,583
...and I'm smitten with you more
every day I think of you and...

699
00:41:50,779 --> 00:41:54,903
...the fact you know I'm full of crapola
makes you more attractive to me.

700
00:41:55,099 --> 00:41:57,555
Usually I can bullshit
people, but not you.

701
00:41:57,723 --> 00:42:00,506
And in addition, you
got great legs and...

702
00:42:00,923 --> 00:42:04,436
...most women I'm thinking about
how to get into their pants, with you...

703
00:42:06,268 --> 00:42:07,577
I'm just...

704
00:42:07,803 --> 00:42:09,974
...thinking about
getting into your heart.

705
00:42:11,899 --> 00:42:12,914
Stunned?

706
00:42:14,523 --> 00:42:15,254
So...

707
00:42:15,387 --> 00:42:18,770
...so what about dinner and
we can talk about us...

708
00:42:18,844 --> 00:42:19,792
...and if we have a future...

709
00:42:19,867 --> 00:42:22,038
...and how to drop that
horse's ass boyfriend of yours.

710
00:42:23,163 --> 00:42:24,440
Slow down.

711
00:42:24,604 --> 00:42:26,360
I'm staring eagle in the face.

712
00:42:26,524 --> 00:42:29,785
Just cut the golf talk, please.
Because this is a mistake.

713
00:42:29,948 --> 00:42:32,981
I'm acting from the heart,
how can that be a mistake?

714
00:42:33,148 --> 00:42:34,042
Right?

715
00:42:34,204 --> 00:42:35,546
Wrong, Roy.

716
00:42:35,708 --> 00:42:37,464
I mean, shit!

717
00:42:37,628 --> 00:42:39,537
I didn't know you meant me.

718
00:42:39,739 --> 00:42:41,463
Would your advice have been different?

719
00:42:49,404 --> 00:42:53,397
This session is over. I have
someone coming soon. Leave.

720
00:42:55,483 --> 00:42:57,393
I take it your answer is no.

721
00:42:57,724 --> 00:43:01,618
Our relationship is and will
remain strictly professional.

722
00:43:03,260 --> 00:43:04,340
That's it?

723
00:43:10,524 --> 00:43:14,419
I'm going to qualify for the U.S.
Open and kick your boyfriend's ass.

724
00:43:19,004 --> 00:43:22,353
Whatever you think of me, you
should know he hates old people...

725
00:43:22,524 --> 00:43:23,953
...children, dogs...

726
00:43:24,380 --> 00:43:27,642
...and that broad's crying
still in the exit room.

727
00:43:27,804 --> 00:43:29,560
You're still in the exit room.

728
00:43:39,741 --> 00:43:40,504
Hello?!

729
00:43:40,828 --> 00:43:42,519
Dr. Kasseldorf?

730
00:43:42,684 --> 00:43:43,796
You're there.

731
00:43:44,444 --> 00:43:48,470
You said to call if something
came up that confused me...

732
00:43:48,733 --> 00:43:52,377
...and shrinks need shrinks...
But, it happened. You said it would.

733
00:43:52,956 --> 00:43:56,252
A patient thinks he's
falling in love with me.

734
00:43:56,413 --> 00:43:59,282
He's not really a patient,
he's my golf pro, but...

735
00:43:59,485 --> 00:44:03,478
I know that under the circumstance I
should recommend another therapist.

736
00:44:03,644 --> 00:44:05,553
But there aren't any in Salome.

737
00:44:05,724 --> 00:44:09,554
He'd have to drive 100 miles
to Midland or Odessa.

738
00:44:09,724 --> 00:44:12,277
I'm not sure you could
count on help there.

739
00:44:12,444 --> 00:44:13,557
Me?

740
00:44:13,725 --> 00:44:16,212
No, my self-esteem is fine.

741
00:44:16,349 --> 00:44:17,777
My self-esteem is fine.

742
00:44:18,525 --> 00:44:20,597
He's a good-looking man.

743
00:44:20,924 --> 00:44:23,063
Green eyes. I don't know, I mean...

744
00:44:23,229 --> 00:44:24,854
That's not the point, is it?

745
00:44:24,989 --> 00:44:26,418
He's, you know...

746
00:44:26,588 --> 00:44:28,498
...he's kind of cute. He's cute.

747
00:44:30,141 --> 00:44:30,740
But...

748
00:45:54,526 --> 00:45:56,282
You got a beautiful swing.

749
00:45:57,150 --> 00:45:58,840
I'm a beautiful guy.

750
00:45:59,486 --> 00:46:02,039
Look, Roy, I came to apologize, okay?

751
00:46:02,206 --> 00:46:03,154
For what?

752
00:46:03,326 --> 00:46:04,984
You did what I said...

753
00:46:05,182 --> 00:46:08,182
...and I poured cold water
over your efforts. I didn't get it.

754
00:46:08,766 --> 00:46:11,067
I'm a terrible shrink, probably.

755
00:46:11,229 --> 00:46:13,401
Should've stayed in real estate.

756
00:46:13,566 --> 00:46:17,657
Actually, I should have never left
Ohio for that cowboy in Amarillo.

757
00:46:18,366 --> 00:46:20,122
Ever been to Amarillo?

758
00:46:20,350 --> 00:46:21,724
Cowboy?

759
00:46:21,982 --> 00:46:25,877
Yeah. It's not as romantic when
you're actually with one, trust me.

760
00:46:26,046 --> 00:46:28,763
So, the oil man in Dallas or Houston,
I don't know where he was from.

761
00:46:28,926 --> 00:46:30,617
Anyway, he looked great.

762
00:46:30,942 --> 00:46:35,033
After that, I went to the Gulf
and ended up in trailer sales.

763
00:46:35,550 --> 00:46:37,557
Then condos in Corpus Christi.

764
00:46:37,886 --> 00:46:42,425
The bottom, just, boom, fell right out
of the market so I needed a new gig.

765
00:46:42,751 --> 00:46:44,180
A new gig?

766
00:46:44,350 --> 00:46:45,877
Yeah, therapy.

767
00:46:46,046 --> 00:46:49,624
I took all the classes.
I'm legitimate. Legal.

768
00:46:49,823 --> 00:46:53,172
Certified. Fuck! I'm certifiable.
I'm really sorry.

769
00:46:53,311 --> 00:46:54,904
Oh, boy.

770
00:46:55,710 --> 00:46:57,401
Can I have a doughnut?

771
00:47:04,767 --> 00:47:05,465
Thanks.

772
00:47:08,286 --> 00:47:09,497
Okay, look...

773
00:47:09,631 --> 00:47:12,020
I am flattered you asked me out.

774
00:47:12,863 --> 00:47:15,165
I can't accept because
I'm involved with David.

775
00:47:15,327 --> 00:47:18,360
I haven't seen him treat old
people, children or dogs badly.

776
00:47:18,686 --> 00:47:20,060
I'm sorry.

777
00:47:20,191 --> 00:47:23,540
I got carried away with the
David thing. I should have...

778
00:47:23,807 --> 00:47:27,068
I just want to make a
proposal, all right?

779
00:47:28,126 --> 00:47:31,160
As long as you understand that
it's strictly professional...

780
00:47:31,326 --> 00:47:33,017
...we're not going out.

781
00:47:33,151 --> 00:47:34,099
Tee it up.

782
00:47:34,943 --> 00:47:38,042
I think I can help you with
the mental aspects of the game.

783
00:47:38,207 --> 00:47:41,720
Romeo is your swing doctor,
I'll be your head doctor.

784
00:47:41,951 --> 00:47:42,845
What?

785
00:47:43,327 --> 00:47:46,044
You just said yourself
you're a crumby shrink.

786
00:47:46,207 --> 00:47:47,963
I can improve, Roy.

787
00:47:48,127 --> 00:47:50,997
I don't have the money to
pay you! I'm broke!

788
00:47:51,166 --> 00:47:54,909
You don't need any money to pay me!
We'll trade services.

789
00:47:55,647 --> 00:47:59,422
I'll give you my services
for golf lessons and...

790
00:47:59,551 --> 00:48:02,039
...I can help you
through the qualifying.

791
00:48:03,167 --> 00:48:05,239
If you make it into the Open...

792
00:48:05,663 --> 00:48:08,282
I'm on my own, you'll be with David.

793
00:48:17,471 --> 00:48:18,748
I don't want this.

794
00:48:27,071 --> 00:48:31,000
Third in the group, playing out
of Salome, Texas: Roy McAvoy.

795
00:49:03,008 --> 00:49:05,080
Ben Hogan, now, who's he?

796
00:49:05,247 --> 00:49:09,306
I find him mildly attractive when he's
obnoxious and arrogant like this.

797
00:49:09,504 --> 00:49:10,583
Oh, good.

798
00:49:10,751 --> 00:49:12,278
That's his best side.

799
00:49:21,152 --> 00:49:22,461
They bugging you?

800
00:49:22,752 --> 00:49:26,680
Way I'm swinging today, nothing bugs
me except insufficient applause.

801
00:49:27,744 --> 00:49:29,238
Give me the lumber.

802
00:49:29,408 --> 00:49:31,644
I think you want to hit the 2-iron.

803
00:49:32,608 --> 00:49:34,364
I said I want the big dog.

804
00:49:34,944 --> 00:49:36,505
You got a tight par 5 here...

805
00:49:36,672 --> 00:49:39,803
...with out of bounds on the left.
The 2-iron seems best.

806
00:49:40,032 --> 00:49:42,847
I'm not going left or right
of those trees, okay?

807
00:49:43,008 --> 00:49:46,456
I'm going over those
trees, with a little draw.

808
00:49:47,904 --> 00:49:50,522
That way I get home in 2. That
way I'm putting for eagle.

809
00:49:51,488 --> 00:49:53,560
You don't need an eagle to qualify.

810
00:49:53,728 --> 00:49:55,386
Practice playing it safe.

811
00:49:55,584 --> 00:49:57,494
- No mistakes wins the Open.
- I want the course record.

812
00:49:57,633 --> 00:49:58,745
The lumber.

813
00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:04,030
You won't listen to me, will you?

814
00:50:04,832 --> 00:50:07,320
Even when I'm trying to help you, man.

815
00:50:08,448 --> 00:50:09,626
After all these years you
think I'm full of shit?

816
00:50:09,792 --> 00:50:11,800
I'll get penalized for slow play.

817
00:50:11,968 --> 00:50:13,343
Give me the driver.

818
00:50:13,472 --> 00:50:17,084
You're a head case. You always
have been, always will be.

819
00:50:17,248 --> 00:50:18,361
Let's ask her.

820
00:50:18,528 --> 00:50:19,706
Dr. Griswold.

821
00:50:22,848 --> 00:50:24,855
Should I hit the big dog or the 2?

822
00:50:25,248 --> 00:50:28,118
Soliciting shot selection
advice is a 2 stroke penalty.

823
00:50:29,184 --> 00:50:30,526
Trust your feelings.

824
00:50:30,688 --> 00:50:33,143
Now give me the driver and shut up.

825
00:50:36,448 --> 00:50:37,561
The driver?

826
00:50:37,729 --> 00:50:38,677
Fine.

827
00:50:39,265 --> 00:50:40,213
Here.

828
00:50:40,705 --> 00:50:42,614
Hit the driver, Tin Cup.

829
00:50:47,968 --> 00:50:50,424
I changed my mind. Give me the 3-wood.

830
00:50:51,265 --> 00:50:53,720
You can't throw that
dog leg with a 3-wood.

831
00:50:53,889 --> 00:50:55,099
You want to bet?

832
00:50:57,025 --> 00:50:58,847
Fine, take the 3-wood.

833
00:50:59,009 --> 00:51:01,944
Take it and show me
what a golf pro does.

834
00:51:07,649 --> 00:51:10,104
Guess I'm going with
the safe shot, boys.

835
00:51:12,289 --> 00:51:15,071
But, you know, sometimes I fan that 2.

836
00:51:17,185 --> 00:51:19,160
You better give me the 3.

837
00:51:19,489 --> 00:51:21,245
Is this normal behavior?

838
00:51:21,409 --> 00:51:24,758
The word normal and him don't
often collide in the same sentence.

839
00:51:27,073 --> 00:51:30,139
And sometimes I catch
that 3 a little thin too.

840
00:51:30,625 --> 00:51:32,665
- Don't do this.
- I've hit flies with the 4.

841
00:51:33,889 --> 00:51:35,416
Hit the damn ball.

842
00:51:35,554 --> 00:51:37,342
I've hooked my 5.

843
00:51:37,953 --> 00:51:39,382
I've shanked the 6.

844
00:51:39,553 --> 00:51:41,942
Sculled the 8. Fatted the 9.

845
00:51:42,145 --> 00:51:43,160
Chili-dipped the wedge.

846
00:51:43,969 --> 00:51:45,562
And I've bladed the sand.

847
00:51:46,529 --> 00:51:47,903
Putter?

848
00:51:48,609 --> 00:51:51,162
There is Mr. 3-Wiggle, isn't there?

849
00:51:55,873 --> 00:51:57,783
But then there's the 7-iron.

850
00:51:58,530 --> 00:52:00,864
I never miss with the 7-iron.

851
00:52:05,185 --> 00:52:07,706
It's the only truly safe club in my bag.

852
00:52:09,794 --> 00:52:12,281
The bag's lighter. You happy?

853
00:52:12,609 --> 00:52:14,300
No, I'm not happy, man.

854
00:52:14,850 --> 00:52:16,279
I'm tired!

855
00:52:17,570 --> 00:52:21,792
My life's too short to watch you blow
up all... I've done it too many times.

856
00:52:23,009 --> 00:52:23,805
Quitting?

857
00:52:25,090 --> 00:52:26,846
Goddamn!

858
00:52:27,553 --> 00:52:29,942
First sign of adversity, you quit.

859
00:52:30,274 --> 00:52:33,787
God! First time you can
qualify for the Open!

860
00:52:33,986 --> 00:52:35,546
What's wrong with you?

861
00:52:37,570 --> 00:52:40,123
Who wants to bet I can't
par with a 7-iron?

862
00:52:43,394 --> 00:52:44,604
Anybody?

863
00:52:49,090 --> 00:52:50,519
Take the bet.

864
00:52:50,690 --> 00:52:52,697
Shut up and hit the ball!

865
00:53:14,114 --> 00:53:15,740
You the man, Cup.

866
00:53:58,275 --> 00:53:59,704
Thank you, boys.

867
00:54:05,730 --> 00:54:09,079
What do you think my best shot was?
The 7-iron on 12?

868
00:54:09,251 --> 00:54:11,902
- That was a good one.
- Or was it 7-iron on 14?

869
00:54:12,035 --> 00:54:13,344
That was better.

870
00:54:13,475 --> 00:54:17,785
What about that bunker shot on 18
which to my recollection was a 7-iron.

871
00:54:17,955 --> 00:54:19,231
Yes, it was!

872
00:54:19,395 --> 00:54:20,344
All good.

873
00:54:20,547 --> 00:54:21,408
You're the man.

874
00:54:22,051 --> 00:54:22,847
Hey, Doc!

875
00:54:24,995 --> 00:54:26,205
How'd I do?

876
00:54:26,691 --> 00:54:28,600
You failed miserably.

877
00:54:28,771 --> 00:54:30,364
What're you talking about?

878
00:54:30,531 --> 00:54:32,189
I qualified for the sectionals.

879
00:54:32,355 --> 00:54:33,249
You did.

880
00:54:33,411 --> 00:54:34,109
I did.

881
00:54:34,531 --> 00:54:35,643
With a 7-iron.

882
00:54:35,971 --> 00:54:36,986
Yes, siree.

883
00:54:37,155 --> 00:54:40,930
Look, your job isn't just
to qualify for the Open.

884
00:54:41,091 --> 00:54:42,847
It's to prepare for the Open.

885
00:54:43,011 --> 00:54:45,312
My job is to help you prepare.

886
00:54:45,988 --> 00:54:48,606
Now, you said trust my feelings.
I did.

887
00:54:49,155 --> 00:54:52,221
I didn't know you felt like
breaking all your clubs...

888
00:54:52,356 --> 00:54:54,363
...and getting in a contest
with your caddy.

889
00:54:54,531 --> 00:54:55,578
Who quit.

890
00:54:55,715 --> 00:54:57,090
He always quits.

891
00:54:58,691 --> 00:54:59,640
He ought to be here.

892
00:54:59,907 --> 00:55:00,605
To the quitter.

893
00:55:02,435 --> 00:55:03,483
The little quitter.

894
00:55:04,131 --> 00:55:04,992
Nonetheless.

895
00:55:05,188 --> 00:55:06,432
Nonetheless...

896
00:55:07,108 --> 00:55:10,043
...from the mental aspect,
which is my domain...

897
00:55:10,276 --> 00:55:12,032
...you've regressed.

898
00:55:12,516 --> 00:55:15,069
And are fumbling between
delusion and denial.

899
00:55:15,267 --> 00:55:17,090
Regression, delusion, denial.

900
00:55:17,252 --> 00:55:19,969
Why must you use all the
psychological language?

901
00:55:21,315 --> 00:55:22,690
Having a bad day?

902
00:55:24,516 --> 00:55:25,409
No.

903
00:55:25,571 --> 00:55:26,684
Hi, honey.

904
00:55:29,668 --> 00:55:30,616
Shot a 65.

905
00:55:32,356 --> 00:55:34,461
Parred the backside with a 7-iron.

906
00:55:35,172 --> 00:55:36,033
Why?

907
00:55:36,196 --> 00:55:39,011
Yeah, that's exactly right.
That's the question, "Why?"

908
00:55:39,172 --> 00:55:41,179
Because he broke his other clubs.

909
00:55:41,956 --> 00:55:43,166
Snapped them in two.

910
00:55:43,972 --> 00:55:45,794
- Jesus.
- Not all of them.

911
00:55:45,988 --> 00:55:47,482
Romeo broke two.

912
00:55:49,828 --> 00:55:51,486
I'm on your side here.

913
00:55:51,652 --> 00:55:53,245
We go way back.

914
00:55:53,412 --> 00:55:56,445
I hope you qualify for the Open.
But if you do...

915
00:55:56,612 --> 00:55:58,751
...you better play with control...

916
00:55:59,012 --> 00:56:00,921
...or you'll get slaughtered.

917
00:56:01,092 --> 00:56:04,354
Good players shoot an 82 in the Open.

918
00:56:04,836 --> 00:56:06,265
You see...

919
00:56:06,436 --> 00:56:08,770
...it means you just can't go for it.

920
00:56:09,157 --> 00:56:12,931
I swear to God, this guy is
not who you think he is.

921
00:56:13,092 --> 00:56:14,587
It's a known fact...

922
00:56:14,788 --> 00:56:17,570
...if a camera's not on him he treats
old people and kids like dirt.

923
00:56:17,732 --> 00:56:18,681
And dogs.

924
00:56:19,012 --> 00:56:20,189
Jesus.

925
00:56:20,452 --> 00:56:22,362
Yeah, don't forget dogs.

926
00:56:22,949 --> 00:56:26,113
Okay, guys. You know what?
We better go. Come on.

927
00:56:26,308 --> 00:56:27,552
I guess so.

928
00:56:29,252 --> 00:56:31,391
You ever shoot par with a 7-iron?

929
00:56:34,117 --> 00:56:35,808
Hell, Roy...

930
00:56:35,973 --> 00:56:38,111
...it never occurred to me to try.

931
00:56:39,332 --> 00:56:42,681
I bet you $1,000 against my car
that I can beat you any game.

932
00:56:44,932 --> 00:56:46,044
Any game...

933
00:56:46,212 --> 00:56:47,325
...any golf club.

934
00:56:48,453 --> 00:56:50,787
Come on, Roy, this is ridiculous.

935
00:56:50,916 --> 00:56:52,127
Chicken?

936
00:56:58,053 --> 00:57:01,882
What, are you going to lay up
the way you did in the Masters?

937
00:57:10,949 --> 00:57:12,607
Any game, I name it?

938
00:57:13,093 --> 00:57:16,835
No, it's okay. I'm just going
to teach old Roy here a lesson.

939
00:57:17,189 --> 00:57:20,538
Why do men insist on
measuring their dicks?

940
00:57:24,933 --> 00:57:26,689
All right, let's measure.

941
00:57:27,973 --> 00:57:31,170
Roy! For God's sakes
I wasn't being literal!

942
00:57:31,589 --> 00:57:33,149
David, let's go.

943
00:57:33,317 --> 00:57:35,554
Wait. Molly, I got this one.

944
00:57:35,973 --> 00:57:39,867
We'll just call this Roy's mental
preparation for the U.S. Opening.

945
00:57:40,037 --> 00:57:43,867
Where the rough is deep, the greens
slick, and the nerves shattered.

946
00:57:44,357 --> 00:57:45,786
I'll take the bet.

947
00:57:50,918 --> 00:57:52,227
What's the game?

948
00:57:52,357 --> 00:57:54,267
Your 7-iron, Roy.

949
00:57:55,877 --> 00:57:57,404
One swing each.

950
00:57:57,734 --> 00:57:59,327
Whoever hits the longest.

951
00:58:00,614 --> 00:58:01,628
It's a lock.

952
00:58:01,830 --> 00:58:04,830
I hit the 7-iron like
John Daly hits the 3.

953
00:58:04,997 --> 00:58:06,623
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

954
00:58:11,813 --> 00:58:12,926
Here okay?

955
00:58:13,157 --> 00:58:14,204
Fine.

956
00:58:15,493 --> 00:58:17,882
You guys are really being childish.

957
00:58:18,053 --> 00:58:19,100
Leave it to me.

958
00:58:19,493 --> 00:58:21,086
I know what I'm doing.

959
00:58:21,574 --> 00:58:23,963
You know what? I'll
see you both in the bar.

960
00:58:24,133 --> 00:58:24,995
Bye.

961
00:58:29,477 --> 00:58:30,754
Dollar bills.

962
00:58:36,518 --> 00:58:39,485
Them signs are at
least 30 yards further.

963
00:58:39,654 --> 00:58:41,890
That ball must have gone 220.

964
00:58:42,053 --> 00:58:43,875
Nah, 227.

965
00:58:44,837 --> 00:58:46,463
I toed it, but it'll do!

966
00:58:46,598 --> 00:58:48,769
- That's 227.
- Take your time.

967
00:58:48,933 --> 00:58:51,006
Limber up, fine with me.

968
00:58:52,517 --> 00:58:53,892
That's all right.

969
00:58:54,054 --> 00:58:55,232
I don't need to.

970
00:58:56,357 --> 00:58:57,884
Take your jacket off.

971
00:58:58,758 --> 00:58:59,903
I'm fine.

972
00:59:00,038 --> 00:59:03,551
You'll have to muscle up to get
it out there, give it the old...

973
00:59:04,038 --> 00:59:05,564
...steroid jerk!

974
00:59:12,870 --> 00:59:14,594
What the hell is he doing?

975
00:59:35,430 --> 00:59:38,048
He hit it down the
fucking road, didn't he?

976
00:59:38,439 --> 00:59:40,032
It's still going.

977
00:59:50,055 --> 00:59:52,989
You the man, Roy. You the man.

978
00:59:54,054 --> 00:59:55,963
You are definitely the man.

979
00:59:57,639 --> 00:59:58,587
So long!

980
00:59:58,758 --> 01:00:01,147
And the man needs a ride home.

981
01:00:07,910 --> 01:00:09,666
I always liked that car.

982
01:00:26,950 --> 01:00:28,925
I wish Romeo were here.

983
01:00:29,095 --> 01:00:31,004
I'm not cut out for this shit.

984
01:00:31,175 --> 01:00:32,866
I'm an observer by nature.

985
01:00:33,191 --> 01:00:34,685
Earl, shut up.

986
01:00:34,855 --> 01:00:36,131
Give me the big dog.

987
01:00:36,615 --> 01:00:37,727
Big dog!

988
01:00:37,895 --> 01:00:40,066
I thought that was the big fucking dog.

989
01:01:10,535 --> 01:01:12,543
Here, let me carry that.

990
01:01:22,535 --> 01:01:24,390
- You all right?
- Aw, shit.

991
01:01:25,831 --> 01:01:27,260
Give me the bag.

992
01:01:27,431 --> 01:01:28,227
No.

993
01:01:28,936 --> 01:01:30,146
All right.

994
01:01:34,055 --> 01:01:35,266
Get him.

995
01:01:42,632 --> 01:01:45,349
Like a million others you
made in your life, Roy.

996
01:01:46,152 --> 01:01:47,974
Just see it going in.

997
01:01:49,096 --> 01:01:50,470
Just feel it.

998
01:01:51,431 --> 01:01:53,504
Right in the back of the jar.

999
01:02:18,152 --> 01:02:19,494
Lord

1000
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:23,582
I can't afford to lose

1001
01:02:37,256 --> 01:02:39,111
Romes, you come back!

1002
01:02:40,552 --> 01:02:42,308
You should've been there.

1003
01:02:42,472 --> 01:02:45,025
I drained a 30-foot snake to qualify.

1004
01:02:45,192 --> 01:02:49,021
Earl gives me the straight read,
thing breaks half a dozen times.

1005
01:02:50,312 --> 01:02:52,865
I missed you, pods. I missed you.

1006
01:02:54,792 --> 01:02:57,181
Okay, don't talk. You're still my guy.

1007
01:02:59,977 --> 01:03:03,272
It's a little late to be pissed off.
We're in the Open.

1008
01:03:03,752 --> 01:03:05,094
You and me.

1009
01:03:07,497 --> 01:03:09,023
Fine, be like that.

1010
01:03:10,152 --> 01:03:11,429
Molly been around?

1011
01:03:12,136 --> 01:03:14,373
Neither her nor me or the god of golf...

1012
01:03:14,537 --> 01:03:17,254
...will keep you from
blowing up in the Open.

1013
01:03:17,417 --> 01:03:19,010
I made it this far.

1014
01:03:19,177 --> 01:03:23,432
Didn't I? Didn't I? All I must do is
hold it together for 72 more holes.

1015
01:03:23,817 --> 01:03:27,112
There's a lot of triple-bogies
waiting to grab your white ass.

1016
01:03:27,273 --> 01:03:29,891
You complaining again?
Is that what I hear?

1017
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:31,333
Shut up.

1018
01:03:31,784 --> 01:03:34,916
You're back whining, pissing,
moaning. You're back.

1019
01:03:36,041 --> 01:03:37,055
You're my man.

1020
01:03:37,705 --> 01:03:40,356
What, you didn't fall in love
with Earl to be your caddy.

1021
01:03:41,321 --> 01:03:43,460
He's a heart attack waiting to happen.

1022
01:03:43,625 --> 01:03:45,796
Cost me 3 strokes a side.

1023
01:03:46,185 --> 01:03:48,835
Hell, I had to carry the
bag the last 4 holes.

1024
01:03:52,521 --> 01:03:53,470
Look...

1025
01:03:53,705 --> 01:03:55,712
...I love old Earl, but...

1026
01:03:55,881 --> 01:03:57,157
...I need you.

1027
01:03:58,505 --> 01:03:59,715
You don't love me?

1028
01:04:01,193 --> 01:04:04,771
Well, yeah, yeah, I love
you too, goddamn it.

1029
01:04:05,257 --> 01:04:06,784
As much as Earl?

1030
01:04:07,433 --> 01:04:08,862
I don't know!

1031
01:04:09,193 --> 01:04:11,746
When I was with Earl,
I was thinking of you.

1032
01:04:15,433 --> 01:04:17,342
Yes, as much as Earl.

1033
01:04:17,577 --> 01:04:18,952
More than Earl.

1034
01:04:20,393 --> 01:04:21,986
More than Earl.

1035
01:04:23,273 --> 01:04:24,451
Am I special?

1036
01:04:27,754 --> 01:04:29,826
If you remove the sexual overtones...

1037
01:04:29,993 --> 01:04:32,448
...and add a golf theme, then, Romeo...

1038
01:04:32,617 --> 01:04:34,373
...I am your Juliet.

1039
01:04:37,994 --> 01:04:39,270
In that case...

1040
01:04:39,626 --> 01:04:40,902
...Julieta...

1041
01:04:41,642 --> 01:04:43,235
...I am your caddy.

1042
01:04:52,073 --> 01:04:53,797
Nobody's heard from Molly?

1043
01:04:53,962 --> 01:04:55,391
You got it bad?

1044
01:04:55,786 --> 01:04:57,641
Something about that chick.

1045
01:05:02,985 --> 01:05:04,840
Little chili-dipper there.

1046
01:05:05,001 --> 01:05:07,718
Be sure to do that in the
Open, it'll impress them.

1047
01:05:17,002 --> 01:05:18,114
I'm watching.

1048
01:05:18,282 --> 01:05:19,297
That ain't a chili-dipper.

1049
01:05:19,466 --> 01:05:22,914
Looks like you got el hosel.
You know, the laterals.

1050
01:05:23,082 --> 01:05:24,260
The "S" word.

1051
01:05:24,426 --> 01:05:25,636
What's wrong?

1052
01:05:25,802 --> 01:05:28,420
I don't know. The shanks are
like a virus. They just show up.

1053
01:05:28,586 --> 01:05:30,179
Nobody can figure them out.

1054
01:05:39,722 --> 01:05:41,380
Something's terribly wrong!

1055
01:05:41,706 --> 01:05:43,462
Something's wrong.

1056
01:05:43,626 --> 01:05:45,001
It's okay.

1057
01:05:45,322 --> 01:05:46,270
Well?

1058
01:05:46,762 --> 01:05:48,104
What's your guess?

1059
01:05:48,266 --> 01:05:50,022
It must be the woman.

1060
01:05:50,186 --> 01:05:51,396
You said a virus.

1061
01:05:51,562 --> 01:05:53,799
A woman can have the same effect.

1062
01:05:55,082 --> 01:05:56,838
What do I do?

1063
01:05:59,786 --> 01:06:01,542
Just keep swinging.

1064
01:06:01,706 --> 01:06:03,233
You'll be fine.

1065
01:06:11,723 --> 01:06:13,545
Don't say a fucking word.

1066
01:06:20,363 --> 01:06:22,119
I'll be inside if you need me.

1067
01:06:33,066 --> 01:06:34,659
Just work it out.

1068
01:07:07,467 --> 01:07:08,896
Hello?

1069
01:07:09,227 --> 01:07:10,754
Is anybody home?

1070
01:07:17,707 --> 01:07:18,656
My God!

1071
01:07:23,627 --> 01:07:25,700
Therapist laughs at the patient?

1072
01:07:26,507 --> 01:07:27,882
Is that how it works?

1073
01:07:28,363 --> 01:07:29,378
Is it?

1074
01:07:30,123 --> 01:07:33,385
A man's laid bare before God,
he's the butt of the cosmic joke.

1075
01:07:33,547 --> 01:07:34,659
I'm sorry.

1076
01:07:34,827 --> 01:07:35,721
Really.

1077
01:07:35,883 --> 01:07:38,753
Some of this shit might
actually work, you know.

1078
01:07:39,307 --> 01:07:41,216
There's something to this hat.

1079
01:07:41,547 --> 01:07:43,719
The golf ball pendulum thing.

1080
01:07:44,683 --> 01:07:45,861
May be onto something.

1081
01:07:46,027 --> 01:07:47,936
Oh, Jesus, Roy.

1082
01:07:48,267 --> 01:07:52,839
Quoting yourself, "It is a paraphernalia
for lost and desperate souls. "

1083
01:07:54,283 --> 01:07:57,632
A lost and desperate
soul stands before you.

1084
01:07:58,444 --> 01:08:02,754
I assume I have the confidentiality
of the doctor/client...

1085
01:08:03,148 --> 01:08:05,003
...privilege in regard to this outfit?

1086
01:08:05,164 --> 01:08:06,179
Of course.

1087
01:08:06,443 --> 01:08:07,720
What happened?

1088
01:08:10,604 --> 01:08:12,098
I got the shanks.

1089
01:08:12,268 --> 01:08:13,642
Are you taking penicillin?

1090
01:08:13,804 --> 01:08:15,877
There's a glitch in my swing.

1091
01:08:16,043 --> 01:08:17,799
That's Romeo's department.

1092
01:08:17,963 --> 01:08:19,873
He thinks it's your department.

1093
01:08:20,364 --> 01:08:21,640
Says it's a head thing.

1094
01:08:23,308 --> 01:08:27,138
I just came over to congratulate
you on the sectionals and...

1095
01:08:27,307 --> 01:08:29,217
...to return your car.

1096
01:08:29,388 --> 01:08:31,078
David just wanted to make a point.

1097
01:08:32,044 --> 01:08:33,538
You know what?

1098
01:08:33,708 --> 01:08:38,443
I suppose we could have a therapy
session right here and now.

1099
01:08:39,884 --> 01:08:41,543
I don't want therapy.

1100
01:08:43,308 --> 01:08:44,835
I want you.

1101
01:08:49,388 --> 01:08:50,817
I want you.

1102
01:08:51,948 --> 01:08:53,803
I must get some air.

1103
01:08:56,428 --> 01:08:57,541
Molly, wait.

1104
01:08:59,085 --> 01:09:00,262
Look at me.

1105
01:09:03,725 --> 01:09:06,594
Well, not at the moment,
but just listen to me.

1106
01:09:10,764 --> 01:09:12,422
You're with the wrong guy.

1107
01:09:13,164 --> 01:09:14,659
I'm the right guy.

1108
01:09:17,228 --> 01:09:20,097
Everyone says my face is
screwed up tight as a drum.

1109
01:09:20,268 --> 01:09:23,880
I know it's because I've
been crazy about you...

1110
01:09:24,045 --> 01:09:26,762
...from the moment you came
here wearing this stupid shit.

1111
01:09:27,725 --> 01:09:32,035
The whole thing's inspired me to get
here and caused me to get the shanks...

1112
01:09:32,205 --> 01:09:36,034
...which would humiliate me in front
of a billion people in a game...

1113
01:09:36,365 --> 01:09:38,274
...I used to play pretty good.

1114
01:09:39,629 --> 01:09:41,319
Such is life.

1115
01:09:44,429 --> 01:09:48,520
So dump that phony bastard you're with
and come to the Open in my corner.

1116
01:09:49,549 --> 01:09:50,280
Tell me...

1117
01:09:51,084 --> 01:09:53,223
...you're not just at least...

1118
01:09:53,805 --> 01:09:55,561
...moderately attracted to me.

1119
01:09:56,588 --> 01:09:58,661
You have moments, Roy.

1120
01:09:58,829 --> 01:10:02,757
You tell me which ones are my
moments and I'll duplicate them.

1121
01:10:03,149 --> 01:10:04,524
This is a moment.

1122
01:10:04,685 --> 01:10:05,633
Now?

1123
01:10:06,188 --> 01:10:09,701
I mean, just utterly exposed,
completely vulnerable...

1124
01:10:10,125 --> 01:10:11,784
...inner child trying to get out.

1125
01:10:11,949 --> 01:10:14,338
Yeah? My inner child needs a spanking?

1126
01:10:23,149 --> 01:10:25,004
I don't have a car.

1127
01:10:25,389 --> 01:10:26,763
Need a ride.

1128
01:10:42,637 --> 01:10:46,467
I know a little spot along the
river that's great to watch sunsets.

1129
01:10:46,669 --> 01:10:47,946
- I do.
- Watch the road.

1130
01:10:48,110 --> 01:10:51,623
- I know a spot that's great for sunsets.
- I bet you do.

1131
01:10:51,950 --> 01:10:53,476
Not tonight.

1132
01:10:54,926 --> 01:10:57,064
That means maybe some other night.

1133
01:10:57,229 --> 01:10:58,756
I didn't mean it like that.

1134
01:10:58,926 --> 01:11:02,122
Maybe consciously you didn't mean
it that way, but unconsciously...

1135
01:11:02,926 --> 01:11:05,315
Did you mean it unconsciously?

1136
01:11:06,286 --> 01:11:09,864
Unconsciously, I don't have a
clue what I'm talking about.

1137
01:11:10,669 --> 01:11:12,677
I feel we're making progress.

1138
01:11:12,845 --> 01:11:13,958
I do too.

1139
01:11:14,286 --> 01:11:17,799
I have no idea what it's
progress towards, though.

1140
01:11:18,126 --> 01:11:20,515
Consciously or unconsciously?

1141
01:11:37,966 --> 01:11:41,162
It may not be much of a
river to you, but to me...

1142
01:11:42,030 --> 01:11:44,419
...the Mississippi, the Rio Grande...

1143
01:11:45,006 --> 01:11:46,664
...the Danube...

1144
01:11:46,926 --> 01:11:48,203
...the Amazon.

1145
01:11:48,366 --> 01:11:50,919
I don't know about the Amazon, Roy.

1146
01:11:53,966 --> 01:11:56,835
Isn't it obvious to you
that you and me are...

1147
01:11:57,006 --> 01:11:58,828
...as comfortable together as...

1148
01:11:58,990 --> 01:12:00,200
...a couple of old shoes?

1149
01:12:01,487 --> 01:12:02,981
Old shoes?

1150
01:12:07,566 --> 01:12:10,283
Look, David's a really good person.

1151
01:12:13,230 --> 01:12:16,427
Whenever anybody says they're
with a really good person...

1152
01:12:16,750 --> 01:12:19,238
...it means they're about to leave them.

1153
01:12:19,567 --> 01:12:21,639
You're awfully judgmental.

1154
01:12:26,510 --> 01:12:28,899
It's one of my few redeeming virtues.

1155
01:12:30,831 --> 01:12:33,165
David's involved in a
lot of charity work.

1156
01:12:33,326 --> 01:12:36,425
- Gets his name in the papers.
- Let me just finish.

1157
01:12:36,591 --> 01:12:38,925
Many people don't see he's sensitive.

1158
01:12:39,086 --> 01:12:40,996
Well, so am I. I mean, hell...

1159
01:12:41,166 --> 01:12:44,843
Shit, I'm twice as sensitive
as he is. I mean, I...

1160
01:12:45,487 --> 01:12:47,723
I brought you to the river.
That's a...

1161
01:12:47,886 --> 01:12:49,315
...nature kind of thing.

1162
01:12:50,766 --> 01:12:55,142
It is a nature kind of thing.
It's a very nice river. Thank you.

1163
01:12:56,047 --> 01:12:59,396
But that's not the point. The point
is David is there for me.

1164
01:12:59,567 --> 01:13:00,679
Oh, God.

1165
01:13:00,847 --> 01:13:02,189
Not the...

1166
01:13:02,351 --> 01:13:05,547
..."He's a very good person
and he's there for me" thing.

1167
01:13:05,807 --> 01:13:07,149
Let me be your shrink.

1168
01:13:07,311 --> 01:13:08,904
That's not a good idea.

1169
01:13:09,071 --> 01:13:11,559
You sound like a woman
looking for a way out.

1170
01:13:14,991 --> 01:13:16,201
Warm?

1171
01:13:18,191 --> 01:13:19,717
That's enough, Roy.

1172
01:13:23,151 --> 01:13:24,263
I'm sorry.

1173
01:13:38,767 --> 01:13:40,261
We could kiss.

1174
01:13:40,847 --> 01:13:43,564
No, look, no harm, no foul just a...

1175
01:13:43,952 --> 01:13:46,341
...little, small, innocent kind of...

1176
01:13:46,511 --> 01:13:47,624
...kind of...

1177
01:13:48,431 --> 01:13:49,860
...semi...

1178
01:13:50,511 --> 01:13:51,788
...platonic...

1179
01:13:55,887 --> 01:13:58,342
Roy, there's no such thing as...

1180
01:13:58,511 --> 01:14:00,583
...semi-platonic, Roy.

1181
01:14:02,351 --> 01:14:03,725
There ought to be.

1182
01:14:07,567 --> 01:14:09,477
You should take me home.

1183
01:14:36,111 --> 01:14:36,744
Well...

1184
01:14:37,968 --> 01:14:39,790
Good luck in the Open.

1185
01:16:32,529 --> 01:16:34,122
It's got your name on it.

1186
01:16:35,569 --> 01:16:37,871
It's Lee Janzen and Billy Mayfair.

1187
01:16:39,633 --> 01:16:41,488
They look just like they do on TV.

1188
01:16:41,649 --> 01:16:42,598
Look.

1189
01:16:45,489 --> 01:16:46,918
Look at these balls.

1190
01:16:47,314 --> 01:16:48,688
Brand-new Titleist.

1191
01:16:49,234 --> 01:16:50,281
Look at them.

1192
01:16:50,450 --> 01:16:52,588
Every one of them, brand-new Titleist.

1193
01:16:54,129 --> 01:16:56,104
Sneak a few in the bag.

1194
01:16:56,529 --> 01:17:00,271
We swipe enough free shit,
we may pay for this fiasco.

1195
01:17:01,073 --> 01:17:04,270
Would it be inappropriate if I asked
Lee Janzen for his autograph?

1196
01:17:04,434 --> 01:17:09,168
I think that's a dead giveaway, but if I
got the shanks, we'll be found out soon.

1197
01:17:10,929 --> 01:17:13,231
Hit the 7.
You always hit that good.

1198
01:17:13,649 --> 01:17:14,510
Good thinking.

1199
01:17:14,673 --> 01:17:15,950
Come on, man.

1200
01:17:18,290 --> 01:17:19,784
Keep your head down.

1201
01:17:20,050 --> 01:17:21,806
You're making me nervous.

1202
01:17:27,634 --> 01:17:29,227
- Who hit that shot?!
- Yeah, who hit it?

1203
01:17:29,394 --> 01:17:30,441
Anyone see?

1204
01:17:30,610 --> 01:17:31,886
You're supposed to be pros!

1205
01:17:33,009 --> 01:17:35,148
- A little thin.
- A little fucking thin.

1206
01:17:35,314 --> 01:17:36,743
I still got the shanks.

1207
01:17:36,914 --> 01:17:38,670
- Don't worry.
- Everyone's watching.

1208
01:17:38,834 --> 01:17:40,044
Nobody's watching.

1209
01:17:40,210 --> 01:17:42,828
Just hit them up. Just stand
up there. You can do it.

1210
01:17:56,754 --> 01:17:59,307
The guys down the line
are a little concerned.

1211
01:17:59,730 --> 01:18:00,678
You're Tin Cup?

1212
01:18:00,850 --> 01:18:03,883
Right, McAvoy from West Texas.
We're from West Texas.

1213
01:18:04,050 --> 01:18:05,065
Try aiming left.

1214
01:18:05,234 --> 01:18:07,884
Try backing up and giving
me just a little room.

1215
01:18:11,730 --> 01:18:12,908
That's Johnny Miller.

1216
01:18:13,074 --> 01:18:14,535
I don't give a fuck.

1217
01:18:14,866 --> 01:18:16,295
Jesus, Cup.

1218
01:18:16,626 --> 01:18:18,960
- Can I have your autograph.
- No problem. To who?

1219
01:18:19,986 --> 01:18:21,579
To Romeo, my best friend,

1220
01:18:22,642 --> 01:18:23,820
Good luck to you guys.

1221
01:18:24,146 --> 01:18:27,343
You might want to make plane
reservations soon, the way you're hitting.

1222
01:18:27,507 --> 01:18:29,678
Great Open in '73.

1223
01:18:29,842 --> 01:18:31,697
- What a nice guy.
- Did you get his autograph?

1224
01:18:31,762 --> 01:18:34,609
- Yeah, look... my best friend.
- See who's over there?

1225
01:18:34,962 --> 01:18:35,911
Jesus Christ.

1226
01:18:36,082 --> 01:18:37,992
It's only an autograph, man.

1227
01:18:38,323 --> 01:18:39,981
Simms is here.

1228
01:18:42,898 --> 01:18:44,393
Shit.

1229
01:18:44,562 --> 01:18:46,537
Hit your putter, you can't shank.

1230
01:18:46,611 --> 01:18:49,840
You're the Mexican Mac O'Grady.
Figure out why I'm shanking.

1231
01:18:50,226 --> 01:18:52,081
- Now what?
- Shoot.

1232
01:18:52,242 --> 01:18:54,152
I'm catching it on the hosel?

1233
01:18:54,739 --> 01:18:56,168
Moving my head?

1234
01:18:56,466 --> 01:18:58,376
- I'm laying it off?
- That, too.

1235
01:18:58,579 --> 01:18:59,594
I'm pronating.

1236
01:18:59,762 --> 01:19:03,275
- When you're not supinating.
- I'm clearing too early, too late.

1237
01:19:03,442 --> 01:19:05,679
My swing feels like an unfolding chair!

1238
01:19:09,043 --> 01:19:10,953
Put your change in your left pocket.

1239
01:19:11,699 --> 01:19:13,128
Go on, do it.

1240
01:19:17,299 --> 01:19:20,233
Now, tie your left
shoe in a double knot.

1241
01:19:20,403 --> 01:19:22,792
- Tie my left shoe?
- Right now, do it!

1242
01:19:29,523 --> 01:19:30,897
Turn the hat backwards.

1243
01:19:31,155 --> 01:19:33,391
Turn your hat around.
Do it, Roy!

1244
01:19:37,619 --> 01:19:38,797
Take this tee...

1245
01:19:38,963 --> 01:19:40,239
...and stick it...

1246
01:19:40,819 --> 01:19:42,063
...behind your left ear.

1247
01:19:44,467 --> 01:19:45,993
I look like a fool!

1248
01:19:46,163 --> 01:19:49,993
What do you think you look like
shooting chili peppers up Janzen's ass?

1249
01:19:51,859 --> 01:19:54,063
Do it now or I'm going to quit.

1250
01:19:54,259 --> 01:19:56,169
I swear to God I'll quit.

1251
01:19:57,523 --> 01:19:58,636
Good.

1252
01:19:58,803 --> 01:19:59,752
Take this ball...

1253
01:19:59,924 --> 01:20:01,833
...and hit it up the fairway.

1254
01:20:02,003 --> 01:20:03,115
You're ready.

1255
01:20:17,204 --> 01:20:18,414
How'd I do that?

1256
01:20:18,547 --> 01:20:22,322
Because you're not thinking
about shanking or Molly.

1257
01:20:22,483 --> 01:20:23,694
You're not thinking.

1258
01:20:23,827 --> 01:20:26,696
You're looking like a fool,
hitting the ball pure and simple...

1259
01:20:26,900 --> 01:20:27,598
Fuck you.

1260
01:20:27,764 --> 01:20:30,317
Fuck me, huh? Well, you're cured.

1261
01:20:32,467 --> 01:20:33,677
That's it?

1262
01:20:34,387 --> 01:20:35,597
That's it.

1263
01:20:35,763 --> 01:20:37,836
Your brain was getting in the way.

1264
01:20:39,380 --> 01:20:41,452
That's hardly ever been the case.

1265
01:20:41,588 --> 01:20:42,897
No shit, Sherlock.

1266
01:20:43,027 --> 01:20:44,237
What next?

1267
01:20:46,260 --> 01:20:48,649
You should work on
your short game but...

1268
01:20:49,364 --> 01:20:50,574
...get drunk.

1269
01:20:50,707 --> 01:20:52,082
Get drunk?

1270
01:20:52,724 --> 01:20:54,251
You play better.

1271
01:20:56,340 --> 01:20:57,834
Remember Brownsville?

1272
01:20:59,924 --> 01:21:00,655
Come on.

1273
01:21:00,788 --> 01:21:01,933
When do I tee off?

1274
01:21:02,100 --> 01:21:04,489
At 7:08. We're the first guys going.

1275
01:21:04,628 --> 01:21:06,799
Come on, one more, just do it.

1276
01:21:06,964 --> 01:21:07,760
Come on.

1277
01:21:07,924 --> 01:21:09,779
- Get it down.
- That's in 4 hours.

1278
01:21:09,907 --> 01:21:10,573
Right.

1279
01:21:14,164 --> 01:21:17,939
Here's to the finely-tuned
athlete on the verge of greatness.

1280
01:21:34,452 --> 01:21:35,881
Should have set an alarm.

1281
01:21:38,101 --> 01:21:39,661
The 7:08 pairing...

1282
01:21:39,861 --> 01:21:42,795
...from Salami, Texas, Mr. Roy McAvoy.

1283
01:21:43,988 --> 01:21:45,777
Any time for a quick bucket?

1284
01:21:45,908 --> 01:21:46,857
Tee it up.

1285
01:21:48,980 --> 01:21:51,915
We almost missed the starting
time getting you off the floor.

1286
01:21:52,085 --> 01:21:54,899
You don't handle hooch like you used to.

1287
01:21:55,988 --> 01:21:59,698
I've seen this hole on TV.
Hit the big dog up the chute.

1288
01:21:59,828 --> 01:22:03,538
I've learned my lesson.
I'll play it safe, smart...

1289
01:22:04,084 --> 01:22:05,459
...conservative.

1290
01:22:06,260 --> 01:22:08,562
Fairways and greens. Hand me a 2-iron.

1291
01:22:08,949 --> 01:22:09,842
You sure?

1292
01:22:14,421 --> 01:22:15,763
Here we go.

1293
01:22:22,645 --> 01:22:24,238
Not a good day.

1294
01:22:25,044 --> 01:22:26,419
Be humble.

1295
01:22:33,141 --> 01:22:34,318
Be humble.

1296
01:22:34,485 --> 01:22:35,434
83.

1297
01:22:35,765 --> 01:22:37,358
You're humble now, homes.

1298
01:22:37,749 --> 01:22:39,374
I was hungover.

1299
01:22:40,533 --> 01:22:42,420
Maybe that was a coaching mistake.

1300
01:22:42,549 --> 01:22:45,299
Yeah, maybe it was.
Thanks, amigo.

1301
01:22:45,845 --> 01:22:47,219
David Simms...

1302
01:22:47,349 --> 01:22:51,659
...is the first-round leader at the
U.S. Open after a brilliant 67.

1303
01:22:52,341 --> 01:22:54,413
Well, Jim, I must tell you...

1304
01:22:54,549 --> 01:22:58,739
...I didn't expect to go out
there right out and shoot a 67.

1305
01:23:01,365 --> 01:23:04,813
I've marveled at how you've been
able to balance superb play...

1306
01:23:04,981 --> 01:23:06,803
...with the energy you give...

1307
01:23:06,965 --> 01:23:09,518
...to so many charities
and all of your fans.

1308
01:23:09,685 --> 01:23:12,882
Well, you know I...
This game is about...

1309
01:23:13,045 --> 01:23:15,434
...tradition and integrity and honor.

1310
01:23:15,669 --> 01:23:18,484
You know, the U.S. Open is it for us.

1311
01:23:18,646 --> 01:23:22,257
So I'm going to go out tomorrow
and try to make some good swings.

1312
01:23:22,389 --> 01:23:23,599
Lord willing...

1313
01:23:23,925 --> 01:23:25,267
...I'll do well and...

1314
01:23:25,462 --> 01:23:27,763
The Anti-Christ shoots 67.

1315
01:23:28,342 --> 01:23:29,454
Believe that?

1316
01:23:29,589 --> 01:23:32,819
Yeah, the old Antichrist
had a hot putter today.

1317
01:23:33,365 --> 01:23:34,642
Good seeing you.

1318
01:23:36,405 --> 01:23:39,056
Be well, buddy. I'll see
you out in the trenches.

1319
01:23:40,022 --> 01:23:41,680
I must run right now...

1320
01:23:41,845 --> 01:23:43,438
...but I'll see you later.

1321
01:23:43,990 --> 01:23:46,259
Christ Almighty Jesus.

1322
01:23:47,349 --> 01:23:49,040
The cover or nothing.

1323
01:23:49,206 --> 01:23:52,402
They want you for USA Weekend.
We're saying it's the cover or no go.

1324
01:23:54,550 --> 01:23:56,175
Excuse me, Mr. Simms.

1325
01:23:56,342 --> 01:23:58,731
Would you give our
grandson an autograph?

1326
01:23:58,869 --> 01:24:00,178
Please, Mr. Simms?

1327
01:24:00,310 --> 01:24:03,179
Can you people not see that
I'm busy? I'm working.

1328
01:24:03,446 --> 01:24:04,820
This is my office.

1329
01:24:04,982 --> 01:24:07,503
Do I come to your office
and ask for an autograph?

1330
01:24:07,702 --> 01:24:08,946
I don't think so.

1331
01:24:09,142 --> 01:24:10,319
Jesus.

1332
01:24:10,486 --> 01:24:11,828
What an ugly dog.

1333
01:24:12,790 --> 01:24:14,578
It's okay, Joe.

1334
01:24:27,670 --> 01:24:29,295
- Nice playing.
- Hell of a round.

1335
01:24:29,526 --> 01:24:30,639
Great start.

1336
01:24:30,806 --> 01:24:32,562
I got lucky out there.

1337
01:24:35,286 --> 01:24:36,497
Hello, Cup.

1338
01:24:38,102 --> 01:24:41,517
I heard you put a monster
number up there.

1339
01:24:41,686 --> 01:24:43,596
It could have been worse.

1340
01:24:44,406 --> 01:24:48,562
I played in the Pro-Am with some
asshole movie star here once.

1341
01:24:49,847 --> 01:24:51,537
Shot an 82.

1342
01:24:52,246 --> 01:24:54,156
Now, how in the world...

1343
01:24:54,326 --> 01:24:57,141
...can a great ball-striker like you...

1344
01:24:57,430 --> 01:24:58,575
...a legend...

1345
01:25:00,182 --> 01:25:02,321
...manage to put up an 83?

1346
01:25:02,902 --> 01:25:05,586
Well, I missed a 4-foot putt on 18...

1347
01:25:05,782 --> 01:25:07,124
...for an 82.

1348
01:25:07,702 --> 01:25:08,946
That's how.

1349
01:25:09,366 --> 01:25:13,360
Ain't like playing some muni-track
in Brownsville, is it?

1350
01:25:14,231 --> 01:25:16,980
Does "integrity, tradition and honor"...

1351
01:25:17,367 --> 01:25:19,505
...include kicking a man when he's down?

1352
01:25:22,487 --> 01:25:24,396
This is just guy stuff.

1353
01:25:25,367 --> 01:25:26,709
It's just bar talk.

1354
01:25:26,902 --> 01:25:27,601
No offense?

1355
01:25:28,087 --> 01:25:30,804
This man still has a lot of
great golf shots in his system.

1356
01:25:30,967 --> 01:25:32,396
It's okay. Go away.

1357
01:25:32,567 --> 01:25:35,436
Just... I don't need any
attention right now.

1358
01:25:35,703 --> 01:25:39,052
I'll bet you $100 that
Roy can hit a ball...

1359
01:25:39,191 --> 01:25:41,776
...through the door, over
the patio into the river.

1360
01:25:41,943 --> 01:25:44,725
And, Harold, give me a
vodka tonic with a twist.

1361
01:25:46,327 --> 01:25:48,400
Really, this isn't dignified.

1362
01:25:49,463 --> 01:25:51,438
Oh, I am so sorry.

1363
01:25:52,727 --> 01:25:54,254
I just want to go home.

1364
01:25:55,127 --> 01:25:56,556
What about the river?

1365
01:25:57,143 --> 01:26:00,177
The piranha, the immortality,
all that bullshit?

1366
01:26:00,727 --> 01:26:03,378
You going to drag your
ass home with an 83?

1367
01:26:06,327 --> 01:26:07,756
$200.

1368
01:26:08,247 --> 01:26:09,294
For $200...

1369
01:26:10,007 --> 01:26:14,644
...Roy can hit the ball through the bar,
out the patio, into the river...

1370
01:26:14,807 --> 01:26:18,069
...and make that pelican
right there fly off its post.

1371
01:26:18,424 --> 01:26:19,853
From right here.

1372
01:26:23,543 --> 01:26:24,558
God Almighty.

1373
01:26:24,727 --> 01:26:26,320
This is ridiculous.

1374
01:26:30,071 --> 01:26:32,176
You got the shot, pods.

1375
01:26:32,664 --> 01:26:34,322
Romeo, shut up.

1376
01:26:34,744 --> 01:26:38,159
Just turn it over and start it
off low and go it right to left...

1377
01:26:38,328 --> 01:26:39,375
He can do it.

1378
01:26:39,544 --> 01:26:43,984
You can do it. And I'm not leaving till
one of you men act in a manly fashion.

1379
01:26:44,184 --> 01:26:46,006
Can we get this over with?

1380
01:26:53,303 --> 01:26:54,481
One ball...

1381
01:26:54,648 --> 01:26:56,175
...one swing...

1382
01:26:57,912 --> 01:26:58,642
...one...

1383
01:26:59,607 --> 01:27:00,785
...pelican.

1384
01:27:01,624 --> 01:27:02,573
From there.

1385
01:27:03,544 --> 01:27:04,624
You can do it.

1386
01:27:04,823 --> 01:27:07,027
You're the man. Shut him up.

1387
01:27:16,824 --> 01:27:18,166
One swing?

1388
01:27:18,328 --> 01:27:19,604
One swing.

1389
01:27:19,767 --> 01:27:20,661
4 to 1.

1390
01:27:20,824 --> 01:27:22,253
Give him 10-1.

1391
01:27:24,888 --> 01:27:26,415
I'll need a fairway.

1392
01:27:26,584 --> 01:27:28,013
Here's what he's got.

1393
01:27:28,151 --> 01:27:32,658
30 yards of bar and grill, then must go
through the doors, over umbrellas...

1394
01:27:32,824 --> 01:27:34,580
...then carry 30 yards of river.

1395
01:27:34,744 --> 01:27:36,883
He must pop that pelican off its perch.

1396
01:27:37,048 --> 01:27:38,804
Kind of a thin line.

1397
01:27:38,968 --> 01:27:41,935
Beats that deep shit
rough you were in all day.

1398
01:27:43,096 --> 01:27:44,373
Pelican's on the other side.

1399
01:27:44,825 --> 01:27:46,734
What a tough shot.

1400
01:27:46,968 --> 01:27:51,376
He's just got to be thinking of that
brutal, ego-sapping, manhood-robbing...

1401
01:27:51,545 --> 01:27:53,934
...83 he buried himself under today.

1402
01:27:54,072 --> 01:27:55,599
That's an avalanche of strokes.

1403
01:27:56,408 --> 01:27:57,902
Get control of that guy.

1404
01:27:58,105 --> 01:28:00,079
Will you shut up? Get down.

1405
01:28:13,048 --> 01:28:14,641
Did you see that shot?!

1406
01:28:14,904 --> 01:28:16,497
Oh, my God!

1407
01:28:21,528 --> 01:28:22,957
That should cover it.

1408
01:28:24,729 --> 01:28:25,623
You know...

1409
01:28:26,809 --> 01:28:28,718
...you're all fucking nuts.

1410
01:28:38,232 --> 01:28:41,581
You really look good.

1411
01:28:43,929 --> 01:28:44,976
Oh, God.

1412
01:29:13,529 --> 01:29:14,903
Oh, my God.

1413
01:29:15,289 --> 01:29:17,198
I kind of shanked that.

1414
01:29:19,449 --> 01:29:20,343
Come on!

1415
01:29:20,570 --> 01:29:21,682
Shit.

1416
01:29:22,393 --> 01:29:23,603
God.

1417
01:29:24,313 --> 01:29:26,222
Shit, man.

1418
01:29:26,586 --> 01:29:28,244
Tempo's everything.

1419
01:29:31,226 --> 01:29:32,338
Perfection is...

1420
01:29:32,473 --> 01:29:33,902
...unattainable.

1421
01:29:36,186 --> 01:29:38,095
You know, someone said...

1422
01:29:38,233 --> 01:29:42,325
...golf and sex are the only things
you don't have to be good at to enjoy.

1423
01:29:45,433 --> 01:29:46,742
Can I have a Mulligan?

1424
01:29:46,873 --> 01:29:48,662
- A what?
- Mulligan.

1425
01:29:48,793 --> 01:29:50,168
What's a Mulligan?

1426
01:29:51,930 --> 01:29:53,522
Just hold still...

1427
01:29:53,689 --> 01:29:54,900
...don't move...

1428
01:29:55,033 --> 01:29:56,462
...and I'll show you.

1429
01:29:56,825 --> 01:29:59,825
In fact, wait a minute,
get on top. I'll show you.

1430
01:30:00,026 --> 01:30:01,204
I'll tee it up.

1431
01:30:02,586 --> 01:30:04,495
Come on, Roy.

1432
01:30:24,026 --> 01:30:26,415
Welcome everyone,
Jim Nantz with Ken Venturi.

1433
01:30:26,586 --> 01:30:28,342
The sun's struggling to appear.

1434
01:30:28,506 --> 01:30:31,059
The course is drying up.
In case you're just joining us...

1435
01:30:31,226 --> 01:30:35,448
...David Simms is tied for the lead
at 5 under par with Peter Jacobsen.

1436
01:30:35,609 --> 01:30:39,538
But the real story today
involves a driving range pro...

1437
01:30:39,770 --> 01:30:42,803
...who shot an opening
round 83 yesterday...

1438
01:30:43,130 --> 01:30:45,683
...but is now making U.S. Open history.

1439
01:30:45,850 --> 01:30:49,527
The single round record in Open history
is in jeopardy because of McAvoy.

1440
01:30:49,594 --> 01:30:53,337
Another driving range pro,
it's all we needed.

1441
01:30:53,466 --> 01:30:57,143
It's heroes that I need.
Not obscure driving range pros.

1442
01:30:57,306 --> 01:30:59,216
Okay, Ben, back at 16.

1443
01:31:00,506 --> 01:31:04,729
This putt he's studied from every
angle and I'm sure he knows...

1444
01:31:04,890 --> 01:31:07,858
...it's got to be firm on the
left-hand edge with this putt.

1445
01:31:07,994 --> 01:31:11,442
Get thumbnails on these guys.
I don't know where he's from...

1446
01:31:11,610 --> 01:31:14,906
...but here he is, going
ten under, if he makes it.

1447
01:31:17,850 --> 01:31:19,989
Look at that. Smooth as silk.

1448
01:31:20,186 --> 01:31:21,615
He's made it!

1449
01:31:22,010 --> 01:31:24,661
10 under par for McAvoy!

1450
01:31:24,986 --> 01:31:26,579
Man alive!

1451
01:31:26,714 --> 01:31:30,063
This is the stuff
of legend, I would say.

1452
01:31:33,147 --> 01:31:34,489
Who is McAvoy?

1453
01:31:35,611 --> 01:31:37,749
You ever hear of this McAvoy guy?

1454
01:31:38,170 --> 01:31:42,164
Roy McAvoy, after a par at 17.
An eagle to shoot 60...

1455
01:31:42,651 --> 01:31:45,848
...although no one has knocked it
onto the green in 2 here today.

1456
01:31:46,011 --> 01:31:47,920
It's not a shot you want
to be aggressive with.

1457
01:31:48,026 --> 01:31:49,936
You gotta be conservative,
you gotta think to shot out.

1458
01:31:50,011 --> 01:31:50,905
He's in great position.

1459
01:31:51,291 --> 01:31:53,201
It's a 3 shot par 5.

1460
01:31:53,370 --> 01:31:55,989
Especially today, a
little wind in the face.

1461
01:31:56,187 --> 01:31:59,351
John Daly ended up in the water
going for this green in two.

1462
01:31:59,547 --> 01:32:01,936
237, man, to carry that water.

1463
01:32:06,491 --> 01:32:07,920
237, man.

1464
01:32:15,451 --> 01:32:16,628
3- wood.

1465
01:32:23,931 --> 01:32:24,727
Hit hard.

1466
01:32:24,891 --> 01:32:28,885
Jimmy, if he lays up, he
takes the bogey out of play.

1467
01:32:29,051 --> 01:32:32,084
He goes for the green,
he brings 6 in, he brings 7 in.

1468
01:32:32,251 --> 01:32:34,258
He must remember he's in contention.

1469
01:32:34,523 --> 01:32:37,011
He has a chance to win.
He must play smart.

1470
01:32:48,411 --> 01:32:50,167
He didn't have enough club.

1471
01:32:51,547 --> 01:32:52,976
Well, what the hell?

1472
01:32:53,115 --> 01:32:55,123
You ride her until she bucks you...

1473
01:32:55,452 --> 01:32:56,881
...or don't ride at all.

1474
01:32:57,051 --> 01:32:59,834
If he can still knock a
wedge close and make par...

1475
01:33:00,187 --> 01:33:04,246
...it'd be one of the most
remarkable turn-arounds in history.

1476
01:33:04,411 --> 01:33:08,241
He's got 85 yards from here and the
drop zone is short of the water.

1477
01:33:08,411 --> 01:33:12,405
He'll need to get it on the upper
level of the multi-terraced green.

1478
01:33:16,891 --> 01:33:21,626
That's a good solid shot leaving
him about 12 feet away for par.

1479
01:33:21,788 --> 01:33:23,544
A par and 62...

1480
01:33:23,771 --> 01:33:26,586
...the all-time Open round record.

1481
01:33:37,948 --> 01:33:38,809
Good stroke.

1482
01:33:38,971 --> 01:33:39,865
He's got it.

1483
01:33:40,348 --> 01:33:41,296
Unbelievable.

1484
01:33:41,468 --> 01:33:43,377
McAvoy has done it.

1485
01:33:43,612 --> 01:33:47,442
You just saw the greatest round
in U.S. Open history.

1486
01:33:47,612 --> 01:33:49,138
62.

1487
01:33:49,948 --> 01:33:54,323
The all-time lowest round in a major
doesn't belong to a Jack Nicklaus...

1488
01:33:54,556 --> 01:33:56,345
...or an Arnold Palmer...

1489
01:33:56,476 --> 01:33:58,003
...Hogan or Sneed.

1490
01:33:58,172 --> 01:34:00,725
It's been shot by the
most improbable artist.

1491
01:34:00,892 --> 01:34:03,064
Roy McAvoy has his signature...

1492
01:34:03,196 --> 01:34:05,814
...on golf's all-time
masterpiece round.

1493
01:34:13,212 --> 01:34:17,784
I've got money from the bet.
Let's go somewhere fancy and celebrate.

1494
01:34:18,076 --> 01:34:21,621
There's nothing to celebrate.
Besides, these are my people.

1495
01:34:22,396 --> 01:34:25,844
I'm a Waffle House guy.
Got to stay in touch with that.

1496
01:34:26,109 --> 01:34:27,931
Plus, he needs his carbohydrates.

1497
01:34:28,092 --> 01:34:31,704
Plus, if the boys in Salome
were in town, they'd come here.

1498
01:34:33,373 --> 01:34:34,387
The legend!

1499
01:34:34,652 --> 01:34:36,889
We've been on a bus 2 days.

1500
01:34:40,253 --> 01:34:41,431
It's so good to see you.

1501
01:34:42,013 --> 01:34:43,704
Sweet 62!

1502
01:34:44,189 --> 01:34:46,011
Put the tables together.

1503
01:34:49,149 --> 01:34:50,709
Does this feel like home?

1504
01:34:50,972 --> 01:34:53,842
We just want you to know we
are with you all the way.

1505
01:34:54,012 --> 01:34:56,184
Doreen, meet Dr. Griswold.

1506
01:34:56,957 --> 01:34:58,102
This is Molly.

1507
01:34:59,229 --> 01:35:00,025
She's my shrink.

1508
01:35:00,509 --> 01:35:02,167
Well, ex-shrink.

1509
01:35:02,333 --> 01:35:04,722
We're sleeping together, so I can't be.

1510
01:35:05,309 --> 01:35:06,651
Knew it. Thanks.

1511
01:35:06,813 --> 01:35:07,925
Knew what?

1512
01:35:08,093 --> 01:35:09,140
Nothing.

1513
01:35:09,309 --> 01:35:10,258
Good luck.

1514
01:35:10,973 --> 01:35:14,007
You know what? I've got
a little extra cash...

1515
01:35:14,173 --> 01:35:17,468
...why don't we go somewhere
a little fancy and celebrate?

1516
01:35:17,596 --> 01:35:18,425
Why?

1517
01:35:19,037 --> 01:35:20,247
In honor of...

1518
01:35:20,413 --> 01:35:21,307
It's the Waffle House.

1519
01:35:21,436 --> 01:35:22,647
I know.

1520
01:35:22,813 --> 01:35:26,108
I've been dreaming about
waffles for 1,800 miles.

1521
01:35:26,236 --> 01:35:27,546
Me too.

1522
01:35:27,677 --> 01:35:30,546
There's a Waffle House like
this in Odessa, Texas.

1523
01:35:31,517 --> 01:35:32,346
No, Midlands.

1524
01:35:32,477 --> 01:35:33,687
It's in Odessa.

1525
01:35:33,853 --> 01:35:37,050
It's in Odessa. I'm from Odessa.
I was born there.

1526
01:35:37,213 --> 01:35:38,587
That's where it is.

1527
01:35:38,717 --> 01:35:39,862
The man.

1528
01:35:40,030 --> 01:35:41,044
To the Cup!

1529
01:35:41,213 --> 01:35:42,009
Cup Man!

1530
01:35:42,173 --> 01:35:43,515
You didn't have to do that.

1531
01:35:44,733 --> 01:35:46,588
You look lovely tonight.

1532
01:35:47,133 --> 01:35:48,410
Thank you.

1533
01:35:50,013 --> 01:35:52,883
I don't know if anyone told you,
but you're a great dancer.

1534
01:35:53,949 --> 01:35:55,029
Really?

1535
01:35:55,613 --> 01:35:58,810
But they had one there.
That's all I'm saying.

1536
01:35:58,974 --> 01:36:00,501
It was Odessa.

1537
01:36:00,669 --> 01:36:03,386
That's not what I was talking about,
you know where we stopped.

1538
01:36:03,549 --> 01:36:05,589
There's an easy way to figure this out.

1539
01:36:05,790 --> 01:36:07,219
You ever tango?

1540
01:36:08,830 --> 01:36:10,259
No.

1541
01:36:10,973 --> 01:36:12,086
Do you?

1542
01:36:15,390 --> 01:36:17,299
Romeo, you dance?

1543
01:36:18,077 --> 01:36:19,768
It doesn't matter!

1544
01:36:20,830 --> 01:36:22,869
It doesn't get much better than this.

1545
01:36:27,198 --> 01:36:31,867
This extraordinary Roy McAvoy,
he just won't go away.

1546
01:36:32,029 --> 01:36:36,088
This humble pro from Salome,
wherever that is.

1547
01:36:36,254 --> 01:36:38,709
- Little town, west Texas.
- It hasn't been discovered yet.

1548
01:36:38,910 --> 01:36:40,819
Over to 18, guys, quickly.

1549
01:36:40,990 --> 01:36:42,812
John Cook at the par 518th.

1550
01:36:42,974 --> 01:36:46,967
No stranger to championship play.
And he's going to lay up.

1551
01:36:48,254 --> 01:36:50,643
Meanwhile, here's Roy McAvoy.

1552
01:36:50,814 --> 01:36:53,465
He has the same shot he knocked
in the water yesterday.

1553
01:36:53,597 --> 01:36:56,347
The thing to do is tune out the
gallery saying "go for it. "

1554
01:36:56,477 --> 01:36:59,773
He's back in contention, but he
must continue to play smart.

1555
01:37:00,030 --> 01:37:01,371
Give me a 3-wood.

1556
01:37:06,174 --> 01:37:10,266
He's pulled the 3-wood and he continues
to play without an ounce of fear.

1557
01:37:10,398 --> 01:37:12,373
That is just inexperience,
just pure and simple.

1558
01:37:12,798 --> 01:37:16,027
This is for Venturi up in the
booth thinking I should lay up.

1559
01:37:16,510 --> 01:37:20,340
What does he know? He only won this
tournament before you were born.

1560
01:37:25,758 --> 01:37:30,493
Caught it a little bit high, a breeze
in his face. That's got to go.

1561
01:37:31,102 --> 01:37:33,753
- He's done it again.
- No, not again.

1562
01:37:34,015 --> 01:37:36,982
He has found the water for
the third straight day.

1563
01:37:37,151 --> 01:37:38,809
What was he thinking about?

1564
01:37:38,974 --> 01:37:40,348
Give me another ball.

1565
01:37:42,558 --> 01:37:43,224
What?

1566
01:37:43,455 --> 01:37:44,731
It's a water hazard.

1567
01:37:45,054 --> 01:37:48,884
You go up there and take a drop.
Try to save par, like yesterday.

1568
01:37:49,694 --> 01:37:50,807
You're right.

1569
01:37:51,551 --> 01:37:53,209
What the hell was I thinking?

1570
01:37:54,015 --> 01:37:55,291
He's tied for the lead...

1571
01:37:55,454 --> 01:37:58,105
...this Roy McAvoy, this "Tin Cup"
this empty cup...

1572
01:37:58,271 --> 01:38:00,180
...this air-brain out of nowhere.

1573
01:38:00,319 --> 01:38:01,529
West Texas.

1574
01:38:01,695 --> 01:38:03,604
Thank you for West Texas.

1575
01:38:03,775 --> 01:38:08,085
You went for the green on 18 today.
Do you think that cost you?

1576
01:38:08,255 --> 01:38:10,011
I saved par, didn't I?

1577
01:38:10,879 --> 01:38:11,861
Didn't I?

1578
01:38:11,935 --> 01:38:16,125
You had the same shot yesterday
on 18 without a headwind.

1579
01:38:16,191 --> 01:38:17,751
You don't think I can?

1580
01:38:17,823 --> 01:38:18,772
It's unlikely.

1581
01:38:19,902 --> 01:38:22,291
So am I. Look at me, all right?

1582
01:38:22,367 --> 01:38:26,077
Look what I'm wearing. I'm playing
for Rio Grande Short-Haul Trucking.

1583
01:38:26,143 --> 01:38:27,998
Brink's and Brown's Sanitation.

1584
01:38:29,375 --> 01:38:33,270
First State Bank of Salome.
Woody's Smokehouse.

1585
01:38:34,335 --> 01:38:37,913
You think a guy like me bothers
to worry about the percentages?

1586
01:38:58,783 --> 01:39:01,598
Are you nervous about tomorrow, Roy?

1587
01:39:08,383 --> 01:39:10,718
It won't always be like this, you know.

1588
01:39:10,976 --> 01:39:12,088
What?

1589
01:39:13,279 --> 01:39:15,996
With me, surrounded by
all these guys snoring.

1590
01:39:16,159 --> 01:39:19,258
Stripper ex-girlfriend
laying across from us.

1591
01:39:21,184 --> 01:39:23,573
My caddie sleeping next to her.

1592
01:39:24,960 --> 01:39:27,196
It won't always be like this.

1593
01:39:27,584 --> 01:39:29,493
Yes, it will, Roy.

1594
01:39:30,176 --> 01:39:31,518
It will.

1595
01:39:55,744 --> 01:39:57,119
Dollar bills.

1596
01:40:04,448 --> 01:40:05,789
Dollar bills.

1597
01:40:13,152 --> 01:40:14,614
Dollar bills.

1598
01:40:26,784 --> 01:40:30,396
First up in the final pairing,
from Salome, Texas...

1599
01:40:30,560 --> 01:40:32,632
...Roy McAvoy.

1600
01:40:33,185 --> 01:40:35,868
Fairways and greens, and
don't forget to wave...

1601
01:40:36,065 --> 01:40:37,112
...as I blow by.

1602
01:40:37,440 --> 01:40:40,375
You mean blow up, don't you,
sport? You always do.

1603
01:41:11,136 --> 01:41:14,911
Playing out of Houston, Texas...
... David Simms.

1604
01:41:19,520 --> 01:41:23,197
It's okay, exactly where you are.
You're in great shape.

1605
01:41:40,257 --> 01:41:41,533
How's the lie?

1606
01:41:41,697 --> 01:41:43,607
Shit, it's buried.

1607
01:41:45,537 --> 01:41:46,879
Don't touch it.

1608
01:41:47,073 --> 01:41:48,349
I know the rules.

1609
01:41:52,609 --> 01:41:53,919
What'll you do?

1610
01:41:54,081 --> 01:41:55,390
Go right through there.

1611
01:41:55,681 --> 01:41:56,445
Go for it.

1612
01:42:00,673 --> 01:42:02,528
- Oh, God!
- Don't worry about it.

1613
01:42:02,657 --> 01:42:05,974
It was my fault. I gave you
the wrong club. You'll be fine.

1614
01:42:06,177 --> 01:42:08,959
Don't worry. You did fine.
Give me the club.

1615
01:42:09,345 --> 01:42:13,174
We've just heard Roy McAvoy has
taken a disastrous double-bogey...

1616
01:42:13,345 --> 01:42:15,255
...to open his final round here.

1617
01:42:15,425 --> 01:42:16,854
Trouble back there.

1618
01:42:17,922 --> 01:42:19,547
Just keep making pars.

1619
01:42:19,746 --> 01:42:22,080
I'll take 18 of them, all day.

1620
01:42:22,210 --> 01:42:24,064
Do it, and I'll own you.

1621
01:42:51,233 --> 01:42:52,182
Fore!

1622
01:42:56,993 --> 01:42:59,033
Roy McAvoy's second shot...

1623
01:42:59,202 --> 01:43:02,585
...at the second hole has
gone deep into the woods.

1624
01:43:02,753 --> 01:43:05,568
For a report on his plight,
let's go to Gary McCord...

1625
01:43:06,146 --> 01:43:10,139
...who has spent most of his life
in the woods and in darkness.

1626
01:43:10,274 --> 01:43:12,063
He's in jail here.

1627
01:43:12,194 --> 01:43:13,438
No chance for parole.

1628
01:43:13,602 --> 01:43:18,043
He's got to hit the ball back in the
fairway, pitch the ball on the green...

1629
01:43:18,242 --> 01:43:19,519
...and get up and down for par.

1630
01:43:19,682 --> 01:43:21,438
No chance to hit it on the green.

1631
01:43:22,754 --> 01:43:24,664
$50 says I knock it on with a 7-iron.

1632
01:43:25,122 --> 01:43:26,235
On the green?

1633
01:43:26,402 --> 01:43:27,034
Right.

1634
01:43:27,426 --> 01:43:28,441
You got it.

1635
01:43:29,122 --> 01:43:31,904
Move these people back right here.
I'm going right there.

1636
01:43:35,330 --> 01:43:36,640
What's he got?

1637
01:43:36,866 --> 01:43:37,814
What's he doing?

1638
01:43:39,234 --> 01:43:42,911
He's going to try to ricochet off
the toilet with a hooded 7-iron.

1639
01:43:43,267 --> 01:43:44,925
He's hitting off the shitter.

1640
01:43:45,122 --> 01:43:47,261
I can't believe he's doing this.

1641
01:43:47,426 --> 01:43:48,953
DVT 1, record.

1642
01:43:49,123 --> 01:43:50,170
Record this.

1643
01:44:00,002 --> 01:44:04,475
Roy McAvoy has banked his third
shot at the second hole...

1644
01:44:04,642 --> 01:44:09,344
...between the trees, off a water closet,
or loo, as you might call it...

1645
01:44:09,506 --> 01:44:12,157
...and got it on the green,
somehow, in three.

1646
01:44:12,386 --> 01:44:15,648
May be the shot that gets
him back on track here.

1647
01:44:15,843 --> 01:44:17,752
It could erase that double-bogey.

1648
01:44:17,923 --> 01:44:19,745
Best thing that ever happened to him.

1649
01:44:48,419 --> 01:44:50,328
Oh, that was great.

1650
01:44:50,531 --> 01:44:54,175
I didn't know there was a mirror
in here. Isn't that cute?

1651
01:45:05,379 --> 01:45:07,288
Let me just look at my...

1652
01:45:50,276 --> 01:45:53,210
Looks level. Roll it in like
you know what you're doing.

1653
01:45:56,036 --> 01:45:57,629
Hit it close, sport.

1654
01:46:32,740 --> 01:46:34,878
How did he get the name Tin Cup?

1655
01:46:35,108 --> 01:46:38,076
He was the catcher on the
high school baseball team.

1656
01:46:38,244 --> 01:46:40,153
Star pitcher had a curve.

1657
01:46:40,324 --> 01:46:42,429
Not all his pitches hit Roy in the mitt.

1658
01:46:43,492 --> 01:46:47,235
Team thought "Tin Cup" was a
whole lot better than "Clank. "

1659
01:46:54,852 --> 01:46:56,030
Fuck.

1660
01:46:58,149 --> 01:46:59,196
Too bad.

1661
01:47:15,525 --> 01:47:17,761
Can I ask you a question?

1662
01:47:18,788 --> 01:47:20,927
Have you ever had a Latin lover?

1663
01:47:21,285 --> 01:47:24,667
Where does he get his name
from is what I want to know.

1664
01:47:26,949 --> 01:47:30,942
Why did you wait so long to
leave that Simms character?

1665
01:47:31,108 --> 01:47:35,843
It takes time to realize Prince Charming
might be wearing a beer-stained shirt...

1666
01:47:36,004 --> 01:47:37,499
...eating sausage...

1667
01:47:37,668 --> 01:47:41,280
...making $7 an hour
in some driving range.

1668
01:47:41,445 --> 01:47:46,147
You don't try to fix men, I hope.
Men cannot be fixed, especially him.

1669
01:47:46,404 --> 01:47:49,187
I've been pathetically
slow learning that lesson.

1670
01:47:49,796 --> 01:47:51,258
- How are you?
- How are you?

1671
01:47:51,429 --> 01:47:52,225
Good.

1672
01:47:52,389 --> 01:47:53,633
I could use help.

1673
01:47:53,829 --> 01:47:57,474
I've seen what you've done with McAvoy.
It could come in handy.

1674
01:47:57,669 --> 01:47:59,677
Let me give you my card.

1675
01:47:59,844 --> 01:48:00,859
Great.

1676
01:48:01,061 --> 01:48:05,021
If you have more of these, a bunch of
the other guys could use your help.

1677
01:48:05,221 --> 01:48:06,497
Take them all.

1678
01:48:06,661 --> 01:48:08,669
- This is Doreen.
- Hi, how are you?

1679
01:48:08,805 --> 01:48:10,976
My number's there, call any time.

1680
01:48:11,173 --> 01:48:13,661
I counsel couples, so bring
your caddie if you want.

1681
01:48:13,861 --> 01:48:15,584
I'll think about it,
and I'll give you a call.

1682
01:48:15,781 --> 01:48:16,479
Thanks.

1683
01:48:16,645 --> 01:48:18,336
Bye, nice meeting you.

1684
01:48:18,917 --> 01:48:19,615
Cheers.

1685
01:48:19,813 --> 01:48:20,707
Cheers.

1686
01:48:44,837 --> 01:48:47,707
That puts Jacobsen
into a tie at 7, guys.

1687
01:48:47,878 --> 01:48:51,620
That Tin Cup guy is one shot back.
Let's keep abreast of that.

1688
01:48:52,165 --> 01:48:54,948
That birdie by Peter
Jacobsen forged a tie...

1689
01:48:55,206 --> 01:48:57,278
...at 7 under with David Simms.

1690
01:48:57,445 --> 01:49:00,162
And Roy McAvoy
just won't go away.

1691
01:49:00,325 --> 01:49:02,943
He's only one shot back at 6 under par.

1692
01:49:18,790 --> 01:49:22,751
He's throwing darts. If we don't make
birdies, we're playing for second.

1693
01:49:23,046 --> 01:49:25,185
Can you believe McAvoy's still here?

1694
01:49:25,350 --> 01:49:28,317
I can't believe "Tin Cup" might
appear with my name on a trophy.

1695
01:49:28,454 --> 01:49:31,837
It's come down to the 72nd
hole of this championship...

1696
01:49:32,005 --> 01:49:35,748
...and 3 men all battling to be
crowned the Open champion.

1697
01:49:35,910 --> 01:49:37,666
Jacobsen's on the fairway...

1698
01:49:37,830 --> 01:49:39,171
...at 8 under par...

1699
01:49:39,366 --> 01:49:42,715
...tied for the lead with Roy
McAvoy, who's on the 18th tee.

1700
01:49:42,854 --> 01:49:45,888
And David Simms is back
there trailing by one.

1701
01:50:01,830 --> 01:50:03,837
- Jacobsen's laying up.
- Took out an iron.

1702
01:50:03,942 --> 01:50:08,165
Jacobsen's going to lay up.
He's tied for the lead.

1703
01:50:08,327 --> 01:50:10,236
Assures himself of a par...

1704
01:50:10,406 --> 01:50:11,421
...and with his short game...

1705
01:50:11,590 --> 01:50:12,834
...he could make birdie.

1706
01:50:13,991 --> 01:50:15,900
You ain't going to have that luxury.

1707
01:50:17,990 --> 01:50:19,681
Not if you play to win.

1708
01:50:44,870 --> 01:50:46,878
We've seen this position before.

1709
01:50:47,046 --> 01:50:49,981
McAvoy with another
perfect drive at the 18th.

1710
01:50:50,119 --> 01:50:54,047
The last thing he needs right now
is an excuse to go for the green.

1711
01:50:54,311 --> 01:50:55,522
I didn't catch it all.

1712
01:50:55,686 --> 01:50:58,621
Well, that's okay.
You'll have to lay up then.

1713
01:51:32,712 --> 01:51:34,206
This is for par.

1714
01:51:37,256 --> 01:51:38,946
So, birdie wins it.

1715
01:51:39,847 --> 01:51:41,156
That's par.

1716
01:51:42,471 --> 01:51:43,747
He's in the lead.

1717
01:51:45,192 --> 01:51:46,752
They all must catch him.

1718
01:51:46,919 --> 01:51:48,163
You or me, Dave?

1719
01:52:00,136 --> 01:52:01,510
He's laying up.

1720
01:52:02,472 --> 01:52:03,846
He's laying up.

1721
01:52:05,352 --> 01:52:09,662
Birdie to tie, eagle to win.
Gutless wonder's laying up.

1722
01:52:09,800 --> 01:52:13,444
It's birdie to win and par
to tie for you. Lay up.

1723
01:52:14,567 --> 01:52:17,153
You can still make a birdie laying up.

1724
01:52:17,832 --> 01:52:19,261
You know what?

1725
01:52:19,400 --> 01:52:21,986
If I make an eagle that puts me 10 under.

1726
01:52:22,152 --> 01:52:25,152
No one's ever finished an Open
10 under, not even Nicklaus.

1727
01:52:25,767 --> 01:52:29,826
You don't need an eagle to win.
Birdie wins, par ties.

1728
01:52:29,960 --> 01:52:31,073
Lay it up.

1729
01:52:33,736 --> 01:52:37,730
Birdie wins, parties. Hole out
a wedge for a goddamn eagle?!

1730
01:52:39,848 --> 01:52:41,277
This is everything.

1731
01:52:41,576 --> 01:52:45,188
This is the choice it comes down
to, this is our immortality.

1732
01:52:45,320 --> 01:52:49,249
Don't think about immortality,
think "hit the 7-iron. "

1733
01:52:53,032 --> 01:52:57,669
No, no, no. This is what always
happens. He's going for it.

1734
01:52:57,832 --> 01:52:58,781
Go for it!

1735
01:53:02,088 --> 01:53:03,583
Molly, get a grip.

1736
01:53:04,072 --> 01:53:07,421
He only needs par to tie.
Tell him to lay up.

1737
01:53:07,592 --> 01:53:09,981
Go for it, Roy! Just knock it on!

1738
01:53:10,888 --> 01:53:14,466
This is why we broke up.
He always went for it.

1739
01:53:14,632 --> 01:53:18,625
My problem is, I've never been
with a man who went for it.

1740
01:53:18,792 --> 01:53:21,029
Honey, he's your guy.

1741
01:53:23,209 --> 01:53:24,802
One swing, Roy.

1742
01:53:25,352 --> 01:53:27,359
One good swing.

1743
01:53:29,929 --> 01:53:32,482
John Daly couldn't do it.
What's he doing?

1744
01:53:32,649 --> 01:53:35,366
Unbelievable he's going
for it 4 days in a row.

1745
01:53:35,529 --> 01:53:37,438
No, 3 days he's put it in the water.

1746
01:53:37,609 --> 01:53:39,998
It'll be 4 days if he hits his 3-wood.

1747
01:53:42,249 --> 01:53:43,743
Come on, baby.

1748
01:53:44,009 --> 01:53:45,285
We're home.

1749
01:53:46,408 --> 01:53:47,837
This has a chance.

1750
01:53:48,009 --> 01:53:49,121
It's got to go.

1751
01:53:49,288 --> 01:53:51,590
This has a chance.
I think he's done it.

1752
01:53:54,409 --> 01:53:55,521
Little gust there.

1753
01:54:06,472 --> 01:54:07,520
Stay up!

1754
01:54:07,753 --> 01:54:08,865
Stay up!

1755
01:54:09,833 --> 01:54:10,945
Stay up!

1756
01:54:27,273 --> 01:54:29,346
You can still make par from there.

1757
01:54:29,513 --> 01:54:30,309
Right.

1758
01:54:30,729 --> 01:54:33,030
Take a drop, we'll make par, we'll tie.

1759
01:54:33,193 --> 01:54:36,325
I nutted that thing.
I mean, I nutted it.

1760
01:54:36,649 --> 01:54:38,951
I know. You put a hell of a move on it.

1761
01:54:39,113 --> 01:54:41,284
Little gust from the gods cost me.

1762
01:54:41,449 --> 01:54:43,271
We'll take our drop, tie...

1763
01:54:43,433 --> 01:54:44,644
...and win the playoff.

1764
01:54:44,810 --> 01:54:46,784
- I can make that shot!
- I know!

1765
01:54:46,953 --> 01:54:48,382
- But not now!
- Now!

1766
01:54:49,129 --> 01:54:51,584
I'm playing it from right here, now.

1767
01:54:53,033 --> 01:54:54,310
Make your par.

1768
01:54:55,114 --> 01:54:55,746
Now.

1769
01:54:56,234 --> 01:54:57,444
Take your drop.

1770
01:54:57,929 --> 01:54:58,944
Give me a ball.

1771
01:54:59,114 --> 01:55:00,707
Unbelievable.

1772
01:55:03,113 --> 01:55:05,022
I can't watch this.

1773
01:55:11,369 --> 01:55:12,384
Fourth shot.

1774
01:55:13,129 --> 01:55:17,352
I don't believe this. He could go
up, use the drop zone, make par...

1775
01:55:17,513 --> 01:55:20,644
...force a playoff with
Jacobsen and get out of here.

1776
01:55:20,809 --> 01:55:24,006
Easy, guys. He can still make 5.
He can still make 5.

1777
01:55:24,170 --> 01:55:26,145
We could still have a playoff.

1778
01:55:46,890 --> 01:55:47,905
Give me a ball.

1779
01:55:48,554 --> 01:55:49,502
Take a drop.

1780
01:55:50,474 --> 01:55:51,848
Give me a ball!

1781
01:55:52,650 --> 01:55:53,926
Just take your drop.

1782
01:56:00,714 --> 01:56:02,885
Dropping 5, hitting 6.

1783
01:56:03,050 --> 01:56:07,109
What's he doing? All he'd have to
do is walk up there and take a drop.

1784
01:56:07,274 --> 01:56:09,609
Make a 5, for crying out loud.
That's insane.

1785
01:56:10,090 --> 01:56:11,748
Somebody tackle him.

1786
01:56:14,090 --> 01:56:15,268
Give me a ball.

1787
01:56:27,114 --> 01:56:28,227
Dropping 7...

1788
01:56:28,395 --> 01:56:30,250
...hitting his 8th shot.

1789
01:56:35,754 --> 01:56:38,307
It's a miracle he lasted this long.

1790
01:56:45,930 --> 01:56:48,003
We ought to have
a camera on Simms.

1791
01:56:48,170 --> 01:56:49,665
He can't watch.

1792
01:56:49,834 --> 01:56:52,551
Someone tell him he doesn't
have to hit it from there.

1793
01:56:54,411 --> 01:56:56,866
He's dropping 9. He's hitting 10.

1794
01:57:09,451 --> 01:57:11,523
God, I'm going to faint.

1795
01:57:13,035 --> 01:57:14,147
Oh, Jesus.

1796
01:57:21,035 --> 01:57:25,029
This is the last ball in the bag.
This gets wet, we're disqualified.

1797
01:57:25,290 --> 01:57:26,949
I can make it across.

1798
01:57:27,115 --> 01:57:28,162
Then do it.

1799
01:57:28,331 --> 01:57:29,825
Quit fucking around.

1800
01:57:39,851 --> 01:57:41,028
He's crazy.

1801
01:57:42,411 --> 01:57:44,321
Oh, God. He's right.

1802
01:57:44,491 --> 01:57:47,524
You're right, Roy!
Just knock it on! Let her rip!

1803
01:57:47,691 --> 01:57:50,080
- You're losing it.
- I have lost it.

1804
01:57:50,731 --> 01:57:51,746
But so has he.

1805
01:57:54,796 --> 01:57:56,650
- He's crazy.
- So are you.

1806
01:57:56,875 --> 01:57:58,249
This is a 12.

1807
01:57:58,411 --> 01:58:01,989
He must start worrying about
qualifying for next year's Open.

1808
01:58:02,155 --> 01:58:03,366
He lost this one.

1809
01:58:03,532 --> 01:58:05,026
He'll end up selling...

1810
01:58:05,196 --> 01:58:08,545
...ties and renting golf
carts the rest of his life.

1811
01:58:08,715 --> 01:58:12,807
I don't know what I'm feeling. This is
the most painful thing I've ever seen.

1812
01:58:13,132 --> 01:58:16,874
He doesn't finish the
hole with this ball...

1813
01:58:17,035 --> 01:58:18,562
...he's disqualified.

1814
01:58:18,732 --> 01:58:21,601
Oh, my God. Dear Lord, please.
Dear Lord.

1815
01:58:44,556 --> 01:58:45,287
Get over.

1816
01:58:51,532 --> 01:58:52,328
He's over.

1817
01:59:19,180 --> 01:59:20,936
I can't believe it!

1818
01:59:23,404 --> 01:59:24,997
I love you!

1819
01:59:27,020 --> 01:59:28,449
My God!

1820
01:59:43,084 --> 01:59:45,157
- Unbelievable!
- Jesus Christ!

1821
01:59:45,324 --> 01:59:47,015
Did you see this?

1822
01:59:48,300 --> 01:59:50,755
That was a 12. That was a 12.

1823
01:59:51,020 --> 01:59:53,257
He was on the green
and in and out in 12.

1824
02:00:54,797 --> 02:00:56,804
Boss, you blew that one.

1825
02:00:56,973 --> 02:01:00,551
- I didn't come here to play for second.
- Simms'll always be second.

1826
02:01:05,197 --> 02:01:08,972
I'll meet you at the Winnebago!
I'll fire up the blender!

1827
02:01:12,398 --> 02:01:14,405
I just gave away the U.S. Open.

1828
02:01:19,917 --> 02:01:23,747
That was incredible! That was
the shot of the tournament!

1829
02:01:24,333 --> 02:01:26,569
I just gave away the U.S. Open.

1830
02:01:26,733 --> 02:01:28,010
It doesn't matter.

1831
02:01:28,814 --> 02:01:32,556
One time in my life I know the
safe play to hit and I still...

1832
02:01:32,718 --> 02:01:34,627
Shit, I still can't make myself do it.

1833
02:01:34,797 --> 02:01:35,691
It doesn't matter.

1834
02:01:35,853 --> 02:01:38,723
My whole career, my whole
life on the line...

1835
02:01:38,893 --> 02:01:41,282
I just made a 12 on the
last hole of the Open!

1836
02:01:41,454 --> 02:01:44,650
You sure did. It was the
greatest 12 of all time.

1837
02:01:44,813 --> 02:01:48,075
No one's going to remember the
Open 5 years from now, who won...

1838
02:01:48,237 --> 02:01:49,993
...but they'll remember your 12!

1839
02:01:50,157 --> 02:01:53,453
My, God, Roy, it was...
Well, it's immortal!

1840
02:01:53,614 --> 02:01:55,523
I am so proud of you!

1841
02:01:59,694 --> 02:02:01,604
I gotta hand it to you.

1842
02:02:01,773 --> 02:02:04,708
When you go down,
you go down in flames.

1843
02:02:05,998 --> 02:02:07,274
Never mind.

1844
02:02:07,854 --> 02:02:08,868
Kiss me.

1845
02:02:10,158 --> 02:02:12,547
- David, you got a minute?
- Not right now.

1846
02:02:13,998 --> 02:02:15,525
Can I have your autograph?

1847
02:02:15,694 --> 02:02:18,476
Sure, I always got time
for my fans, darling.

1848
02:02:18,638 --> 02:02:21,027
Don't you look cute. Come on under.

1849
02:02:27,918 --> 02:02:29,674
Nice par, David.

1850
02:03:14,159 --> 02:03:18,796
By finishing in the top 15 at the Open
you qualified to be in it next year.

1851
02:03:19,598 --> 02:03:20,646
Really?

1852
02:03:22,255 --> 02:03:24,077
I didn't know that.

1853
02:03:24,238 --> 02:03:28,646
With your game you could go back to the
qualifying school and go out on tour.

1854
02:03:30,958 --> 02:03:32,333
Then I wouldn't see you.

1855
02:03:33,199 --> 02:03:37,355
Actually, I picked up a whole
bunch of new clients at the Open.

1856
02:03:37,519 --> 02:03:41,294
Guys said if I could do that for you,
imagine what I could do for them.

1857
02:03:43,119 --> 02:03:45,508
There's a lot of head cases out there.

1858
02:03:46,799 --> 02:03:48,970
A man goes through what I have...

1859
02:03:49,135 --> 02:03:50,564
...he's supposed to learn something.

1860
02:03:50,735 --> 02:03:52,710
I'm trying to figure out what I learned.

1861
02:03:55,055 --> 02:03:56,877
You think I learned anything?

1862
02:03:57,775 --> 02:04:00,710
You learned a little discipline,
some self-control.

1863
02:04:00,879 --> 02:04:02,406
I learned...

1864
02:04:02,575 --> 02:04:06,405
...you can't just listen to your
heart, but also to your brain.

1865
02:04:06,575 --> 02:04:09,193
I'm learning how to listen
to that tuning fork...

1866
02:04:09,359 --> 02:04:11,431
...throw caution to the wind and...

1867
02:04:11,599 --> 02:04:14,796
...take crazy risks I never
thought were possible.

1868
02:04:15,119 --> 02:04:18,152
Come on, Molly, when did
you ever take a crazy risk?

1869
02:04:19,215 --> 02:04:21,037
I'm with you, Roy.

1870
02:04:24,079 --> 02:04:25,672
I'm with you.

1871
02:04:29,775 --> 02:04:31,052
You know...

1872
02:04:31,855 --> 02:04:33,765
...we could kiss...

1873
02:04:35,056 --> 02:04:37,773
You mean like a no harm, no foul kiss?

1874
02:04:37,936 --> 02:04:40,653
Yeah, kind of a semi-platonic little...

1875
02:04:41,455 --> 02:04:42,404
...sweet...

1876
02:04:42,576 --> 02:04:43,753
...innocent...

1877
02:04:43,919 --> 02:04:45,348
Good idea!