1 00:01:18,558 --> 00:01:21,288 Salutations, snack. 2 00:01:22,562 --> 00:01:24,655 On second thought... 3 00:01:26,867 --> 00:01:28,926 9-1-1! 4 00:01:29,036 --> 00:01:32,028 Police! Civic authorities! ASPCA! ASAP! 5 00:01:32,105 --> 00:01:34,733 Murder! Betrayal! Kidnapped! 6 00:01:34,841 --> 00:01:36,502 No, bird-napped! 7 00:01:37,644 --> 00:01:40,477 A cup of garlic, a twist of parakeet. 8 00:01:40,547 --> 00:01:43,072 Eat your heart out, Julia Child. 9 00:01:44,117 --> 00:01:49,646 Excuse me, but isn't it customary for the jailbird to get one telephone call? 10 00:01:50,123 --> 00:01:51,784 In your case, I think not. 11 00:01:51,892 --> 00:01:54,520 Afternoon snacks have few civil liberties. 12 00:01:54,594 --> 00:01:56,721 But I'm not wholly without heart. 13 00:01:57,130 --> 00:01:59,530 How about a nice soothing cigarette? 14 00:02:05,906 --> 00:02:08,204 Oh, I will not do this. I cannot! 15 00:02:08,608 --> 00:02:12,738 Oh, what a foul way for a bird to die! I don't want to get beak cancer. 16 00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:15,341 No! My lungs are blackened! 17 00:02:15,415 --> 00:02:18,145 Here we go again. Cut, cut, cut! Roll it back. 18 00:02:18,218 --> 00:02:20,914 - Help me... - What are you doing? Daniel... 19 00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:23,922 That line is not in the script. Why did you add it? 20 00:02:24,024 --> 00:02:27,482 - I wanted to comment on the situation. - What situation? 21 00:02:27,794 --> 00:02:31,753 Shoving a cigarette into Pudgie's mouth is morally irresponsible. 22 00:02:31,832 --> 00:02:35,700 This is a cartoon, not a friggin' Oprah Winfrey Special. 23 00:02:35,769 --> 00:02:39,899 Lou, millions of kids see this cartoon. It's like telling them ''Light up.'' 24 00:02:39,973 --> 00:02:43,704 You can't put words in Pudgie's mouth if his mouth isn't moving. 25 00:02:43,777 --> 00:02:47,440 It's voice-over. An interior monologue. Maybe even the voice of God. 26 00:02:47,647 --> 00:02:50,582 Pudgie, don't smoke. 27 00:02:50,650 --> 00:02:53,778 - Actors. - What? Let's ask the technicians. 28 00:02:53,854 --> 00:02:58,052 Do you think it's morally right to promote smoking to the youth of America? 29 00:03:00,827 --> 00:03:05,787 - They're biased. That's a mistrial. - This session costs the studio thousands. 30 00:03:05,866 --> 00:03:08,596 If you want a paycheque, stick to the script. 31 00:03:08,668 --> 00:03:12,729 If you want to play Gandhi, then do it on somebody else's time. 32 00:03:18,245 --> 00:03:21,612 Then I've got to do what I've got to do. 33 00:03:21,681 --> 00:03:24,616 That's very funny. Where the hell are you goin'? 34 00:03:24,684 --> 00:03:27,346 If you leave, you're not comin' back in. 35 00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:30,389 I'm not takin' any crap from you, pal. 36 00:03:30,457 --> 00:03:33,551 Well, in the words of Porky Pig: 37 00:03:36,062 --> 00:03:38,189 Piss off, Lou. 38 00:04:10,530 --> 00:04:13,397 - So what about that history test? - Don't ask. 39 00:04:13,867 --> 00:04:18,327 - Did you have fun in school? - I painted a picture of a rainbow. 40 00:04:21,274 --> 00:04:24,209 - Dad? - Daddy! 41 00:04:24,611 --> 00:04:26,670 Daddy! 42 00:04:30,483 --> 00:04:34,249 - I thought you couldn't pick us up. - Well, I got off early. 43 00:04:34,321 --> 00:04:38,849 - You mean you got fired? - No, I quit. For reasons of conscience. 44 00:04:38,925 --> 00:04:39,914 Actors. 45 00:04:40,026 --> 00:04:46,158 Dude, congratulations on your 12th birthday. Got a surprise for ya. 46 00:04:46,299 --> 00:04:48,358 - A stripper? - Ooh, please! 47 00:04:48,501 --> 00:04:50,332 - Two strippers? - Hoo-hah, boy! 48 00:04:50,437 --> 00:04:51,768 - A party? - Yes! 49 00:04:51,871 --> 00:04:53,930 No. No parties. 50 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,635 Mom said you couldn't have one because of your report card. 51 00:04:57,711 --> 00:05:02,705 Mom's not gonna be home for another four hours, is she? 52 00:05:04,117 --> 00:05:08,076 Prepare yourself... for the wild kingdom. 53 00:05:28,742 --> 00:05:32,872 Coming up toward the very end. There she goes. And she wins that race. 54 00:05:32,946 --> 00:05:35,005 Come on off now. Here we go. 55 00:05:36,883 --> 00:05:38,942 You want to feed him? 56 00:05:40,387 --> 00:05:42,480 See if this guy will. 57 00:05:43,223 --> 00:05:44,952 Sorry. 58 00:05:47,327 --> 00:05:49,386 Get out! 59 00:06:15,255 --> 00:06:19,214 - Gregory, Henderson and Hillard. - Miranda Hillard, please. 60 00:06:21,394 --> 00:06:26,422 I know what you're going for with these murals, but perhaps if they weren't so large. 61 00:06:26,533 --> 00:06:29,229 And let's do steel windows, not wood. 62 00:06:29,336 --> 00:06:33,329 Eliminate the Oriental rug. Let's try an Aubusson carpet. 63 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,931 - More pink than red. - Good idea. 64 00:06:36,009 --> 00:06:38,068 Union Square Inn. This is better. 65 00:06:38,178 --> 00:06:43,411 More Arts and Crafts. A Dirk Van Erp lamp, a Stickley chair. Don't be seduced by chintz. 66 00:06:43,483 --> 00:06:46,281 Excuse me. Miranda, can I speak to you for a minute? 67 00:06:46,419 --> 00:06:48,683 - Yes. Excuse me. - Certainly. 68 00:06:48,788 --> 00:06:50,847 Just be one minute. 69 00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:54,894 I just got off the phone with a Stuart Dunmeyer. 70 00:06:54,994 --> 00:06:58,589 - Stuart Dunmeyer? - He said you were acquaintances. 71 00:06:58,665 --> 00:06:59,996 Stuart Dunmeyer? 72 00:07:00,066 --> 00:07:04,230 He's putting millions into restoring the old Wellman mansion on Nob Hill. 73 00:07:04,304 --> 00:07:09,298 - He wants to make it into a $500-a-night B&B. - Yes, I read about it. 74 00:07:09,442 --> 00:07:12,502 - He's been doing very well. - That's him. 75 00:07:12,612 --> 00:07:16,070 And he specifically asked for you, Miranda. 76 00:07:16,182 --> 00:07:17,774 He did? 77 00:07:17,851 --> 00:07:20,979 - I told him you'd call first thing tomorrow. - Yes, I will. 78 00:07:22,088 --> 00:07:25,580 Miss Hillard? The operator has a Gloria Chaney on hold. 79 00:07:25,658 --> 00:07:28,991 - She says it's an emergency. - Excuse me. 80 00:07:30,130 --> 00:07:31,597 Gloria? 81 00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:47,011 - Oh, my God! - Is this your residence, ma'am? 82 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,139 Yes, I'm sorry to say it is. 83 00:07:49,249 --> 00:07:53,413 Are you aware it's illegal to possess barnyard animals in a residential area? 84 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:57,456 - What if you're married to one? - We're also responding to a noise violation. 85 00:07:57,557 --> 00:08:01,891 I'm going to respond myself. I'm awfully sorry about this. 86 00:08:01,961 --> 00:08:04,054 You ate my begonias! God! 87 00:08:05,432 --> 00:08:07,525 Get out of my way! 88 00:09:05,959 --> 00:09:08,519 Miranda! Whassup? 89 00:09:08,962 --> 00:09:11,362 You're home early, girlfriend. 90 00:09:11,431 --> 00:09:13,899 Havin' a birthday in the house. 91 00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:16,568 What the hell is going on around here? 92 00:09:16,703 --> 00:09:19,297 Don't get mad, honey. Listen. 93 00:09:19,372 --> 00:09:24,173 You're home a little early. I was gonna clean it all up before you got home. 94 00:09:26,946 --> 00:09:29,346 Honey... What are you looking for? 95 00:09:31,117 --> 00:09:33,915 I'd be careful. That pony had a lot of water. 96 00:09:43,129 --> 00:09:44,926 Party's over. 97 00:09:48,535 --> 00:09:52,164 She called you and you bust the birthday party. Great! 98 00:09:52,238 --> 00:09:55,969 Don't you dare make me out to be the monster here, Daniel! 99 00:09:56,042 --> 00:09:58,738 You have all the fun and I get whatever's left over. 100 00:09:58,811 --> 00:10:03,214 - You chose the career. - I have no choices here. I have no choices! 101 00:10:03,283 --> 00:10:06,775 Even when I try to do something fun, you do it ten times bigger! 102 00:10:06,853 --> 00:10:10,584 I bring home a cake and gifts. You bring the goddamn San Diego Zoo! 103 00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:14,820 - And I have to clean up! - It's not toxic waste, just a few party plates! 104 00:10:14,894 --> 00:10:17,886 Why am I the only one that feels there has to be rules? 105 00:10:17,997 --> 00:10:20,363 Why do you always make me out to be the heavy? 106 00:10:20,433 --> 00:10:23,231 I don't. You do it yourself quite naturally. 107 00:10:23,303 --> 00:10:27,171 - You set me up every time to be the bad guy. - Oh, lighten up, will ya? 108 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:31,574 You spend too much time with those corporate clones you used to despise. 109 00:10:31,644 --> 00:10:34,511 I spend too much time with you, Daniel. It's over! 110 00:10:34,614 --> 00:10:36,673 It's over. 111 00:10:38,484 --> 00:10:43,387 Come on, Miranda. We've got problems, but who doesn't? We could work 'em out. 112 00:10:43,690 --> 00:10:47,387 We've been trying to work them out for 14 years. 113 00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:52,295 Come on, please. Listen. Maybe we need some help, OK? 114 00:10:52,398 --> 00:10:55,492 Maybe a family therapist will help us do this together. 115 00:10:55,602 --> 00:10:57,627 It's too late for that. 116 00:10:57,704 --> 00:11:02,300 Well, let's take a vacation with the kids, as a family. Get you away from work. 117 00:11:02,408 --> 00:11:05,809 You're a different person. You really are. You're great. 118 00:11:05,878 --> 00:11:09,336 Our problems would be waiting for us when we got back. 119 00:11:09,449 --> 00:11:12,850 We'll move, and hopefully our problems won't follow us. 120 00:11:12,919 --> 00:11:15,149 Daniel, please don�t joke. 121 00:11:16,456 --> 00:11:18,424 OK. 122 00:11:20,126 --> 00:11:25,086 We've just grown apart. We're different. 123 00:11:25,164 --> 00:11:29,294 - We have nothing in common. - Oh, sure we do. We love each other. 124 00:11:35,508 --> 00:11:38,636 Come on, Miranda. We love each other. 125 00:11:43,316 --> 00:11:45,375 Don't we? 126 00:11:49,589 --> 00:11:51,682 I want a divorce. 127 00:11:53,092 --> 00:11:55,151 No. 128 00:12:01,467 --> 00:12:04,732 We can't. We're a family. You know? 129 00:12:06,572 --> 00:12:08,665 I'm so sorry. 130 00:12:48,448 --> 00:12:50,541 Yeah, Ma, he told me all about it. 131 00:12:51,951 --> 00:12:54,010 Yeah, Ma. I heard, I heard. 132 00:12:55,755 --> 00:12:58,747 - Well, yeah, he's here. - No. 133 00:12:59,759 --> 00:13:02,387 Ma, he's not really in the mood to talk. 134 00:13:02,462 --> 00:13:05,954 Yeah, depressed. I mean, his marriage is ending. 135 00:13:06,032 --> 00:13:10,264 My marriage is not ending. It's just on hiatus. 136 00:13:13,005 --> 00:13:15,405 Ma, I think he's in a little bit of denial. 137 00:13:15,475 --> 00:13:19,172 No, we're taking good care of your little boy. Don't worry, Mom. 138 00:13:19,245 --> 00:13:22,612 - Hi, Evelyn. Thanks for the jam. - She says you're welcome. 139 00:13:22,682 --> 00:13:26,140 That beige concealer. When are we gettin' more of it? 140 00:13:26,219 --> 00:13:28,881 - Next week. - You hear that, Ma? Next week. 141 00:13:29,055 --> 00:13:30,784 Wait, hang on. 142 00:13:30,857 --> 00:13:33,621 - Enough already. It's a man. - How would you know? 143 00:13:33,693 --> 00:13:35,422 Bitch. 144 00:13:35,495 --> 00:13:38,862 No, Ma, not you. I was talkin' about the dog. 145 00:13:39,365 --> 00:13:42,596 Ma, listen. We got people waitin' for us on the set. 146 00:13:42,668 --> 00:13:46,468 Oh, yeah. It's a busy life, Ma. Places to go, faces to paint. 147 00:13:47,173 --> 00:13:49,107 Yeah, I'll tell him, Ma. 148 00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:51,039 Don't worry, I'll tell him. 149 00:13:51,110 --> 00:13:52,600 Yeah. Hold on, Ma. 150 00:13:52,812 --> 00:13:55,781 She wants to know if you want to come stay with her. 151 00:13:55,848 --> 00:13:59,682 - No way. - He says he'll think about it, Ma. 152 00:14:00,486 --> 00:14:02,647 I will. All right. I love you, too. 153 00:14:02,722 --> 00:14:04,815 Bye, Ma. 154 00:14:05,424 --> 00:14:10,088 Hey, listen, you know you can always stay with us just as long as you want. 155 00:14:10,196 --> 00:14:14,599 Thank you, but I'm OK, really. I mean, this is just a temporary thing. 156 00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:17,431 I know Miranda. It's gonna blow over. 157 00:14:22,074 --> 00:14:27,842 Mr and Mrs Hillard, although these custody proceedings tend to favour the mother, 158 00:14:27,914 --> 00:14:33,250 we also realize, perhaps now more than ever, that it is not in a child's best interest 159 00:14:33,319 --> 00:14:36,516 to deprive him or her of an obviously loving father. 160 00:14:38,424 --> 00:14:44,954 However, since at the present time Mr Hillard has no place to live and no employment, 161 00:14:45,097 --> 00:14:49,227 it is the court's ruling to award sole custody to Mrs Hillard. 162 00:14:49,302 --> 00:14:51,566 - Congratulations. - No. 163 00:14:51,671 --> 00:14:55,232 Mr Hillard will have visitation rights every Saturday. 164 00:14:55,308 --> 00:14:57,708 - Can't you do something? - He's made his decision. 165 00:14:57,777 --> 00:15:01,144 Isn�t it traditional to say ''I object'' or something? 166 00:15:01,247 --> 00:15:02,976 Your Honour, please. 167 00:15:04,283 --> 00:15:06,547 Every Saturday? That's one day a week. 168 00:15:06,652 --> 00:15:08,984 That's not enough. 169 00:15:09,088 --> 00:15:14,287 I have to be with my children. It's not a question. I have to be with them, sir. Please. 170 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,887 I know it seems like a lot, but for me it's not enough. Really. 171 00:15:17,964 --> 00:15:22,697 I haven't been away from 'em for more than one day since the day they were born. 172 00:15:22,768 --> 00:15:26,670 - Mr Hillard, this ruling is only temporary. - Oh, good. 173 00:15:26,739 --> 00:15:29,936 I will assign a court liaison to oversee your case. 174 00:15:30,009 --> 00:15:33,342 There will be a continuance of these proceedings in 90 days. 175 00:15:33,412 --> 00:15:36,381 - I'm giving you three months, Mr Hillard. - Thank you. 176 00:15:36,482 --> 00:15:41,112 Three months in which to get a job, keep it and create a suitable home. 177 00:15:41,220 --> 00:15:43,814 If this proves to be a possibility for you, 178 00:15:43,923 --> 00:15:49,759 I will consider a joint-custody arrangement when we reconvene. We're adjourned. 179 00:15:50,830 --> 00:15:54,698 Well, it looks like there is a little light at the end of our tunnel. 180 00:16:25,364 --> 00:16:28,731 - That's all my stuff. - This is all my fault. 181 00:16:29,135 --> 00:16:31,626 God, no. Why would you think that? 182 00:16:31,737 --> 00:16:34,262 I should have never had a birthday, Dad. 183 00:16:34,373 --> 00:16:37,274 - This never would have happened. - Yes, it would. 184 00:16:37,376 --> 00:16:40,641 It was an accident waiting to happen, OK? 185 00:16:40,746 --> 00:16:43,271 You did nothing wrong. You got that? 186 00:16:44,450 --> 00:16:46,543 OK, gimme five. 187 00:16:53,159 --> 00:16:55,218 You're the man of the house now. 188 00:16:55,361 --> 00:16:57,420 Don't be messy. 189 00:16:58,564 --> 00:17:01,624 - You can't go now. - Honey, I have to. 190 00:17:02,201 --> 00:17:07,002 We're in the middle of Charlotte`s Web. Who's gonna finish it? 191 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,165 Well, Grandma will finish it for you. 192 00:17:12,044 --> 00:17:17,107 She's not as good. She always skips parts, and she never does the voices. 193 00:17:17,216 --> 00:17:19,309 She smells funny, too. 194 00:17:19,585 --> 00:17:23,578 That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well preserved. 195 00:17:24,991 --> 00:17:27,459 Hey, come here. 196 00:17:29,495 --> 00:17:33,795 It's the same as always. We just have a really big backyard, OK? 197 00:17:33,866 --> 00:17:36,858 - I love you. - I love you. 198 00:17:40,139 --> 00:17:44,075 I'll miss you. Saturday comes real quick. 199 00:17:45,644 --> 00:17:48,943 - I'll miss you. - Ditto. 200 00:17:49,515 --> 00:17:51,278 Oh, Dad... 201 00:17:53,619 --> 00:17:55,678 - Take care of her. - OK. 202 00:17:57,890 --> 00:17:59,949 Goodbye. 203 00:18:05,131 --> 00:18:07,656 Thanks for the time, warden. 204 00:18:12,972 --> 00:18:15,065 Bye, Dad. 205 00:18:35,328 --> 00:18:38,820 As your court liaison, I will be looking at two things. 206 00:18:38,932 --> 00:18:43,164 - Your living environment... - It's more like a habitat, really. 207 00:18:44,504 --> 00:18:49,908 And I will be coming by on Monday and Friday evenings to inspect it. 208 00:18:49,976 --> 00:18:51,967 Well, I'll put on a chicken. 209 00:18:52,745 --> 00:18:54,838 And there's always the job issue. 210 00:18:54,948 --> 00:19:00,580 This is the nearest employment office. I took the liberty of making an appointment for you. 211 00:19:00,653 --> 00:19:04,384 - Thank you. - By the way, do you have any special skills? 212 00:19:04,524 --> 00:19:06,583 Oh, yes. I do. 213 00:19:06,659 --> 00:19:08,718 I do voices. 214 00:19:09,195 --> 00:19:11,425 What do you mean, you do voices? 215 00:19:12,198 --> 00:19:14,632 Well, I do voices. 216 00:19:14,734 --> 00:19:15,666 Yes! 217 00:19:15,768 --> 00:19:18,635 We're looking for intelligent life. Oops, mistake! 218 00:19:18,738 --> 00:19:22,037 Happy to be in America. Don't ask for a green card. 219 00:19:22,141 --> 00:19:24,632 I want you in the worst way. 220 00:19:24,744 --> 00:19:28,475 This is certainly a rough meeting. It's not going very well for me. 221 00:19:28,615 --> 00:19:32,244 Hey, boss, give her a chance. She's gonna loosen up any moment. 222 00:19:32,352 --> 00:19:36,288 Look at me, Moneypenny. I want to undo that bow and get to know you. 223 00:19:36,389 --> 00:19:38,857 I'm crazy to make a deal with you! 224 00:19:38,958 --> 00:19:41,825 Nancy and I are still looking for the other half of my head. 225 00:19:41,894 --> 00:19:45,694 They're doin' it! I'm sittin' on a gold mine! 226 00:19:45,798 --> 00:19:48,198 Don't make me smack you, sweetheart. 227 00:19:48,968 --> 00:19:51,198 I do a great impression of a hot dog. 228 00:19:54,374 --> 00:19:57,002 Mr Hillard, do you consider yourself humorous? 229 00:19:57,076 --> 00:19:59,169 I used to. 230 00:19:59,245 --> 00:20:02,408 There was a time when I found myself funny. 231 00:20:02,482 --> 00:20:05,645 But today you have proven me wrong. Thank you. 232 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:10,047 Listen, bottom line... 233 00:20:10,857 --> 00:20:14,725 I need to be with my children, and I'll do anything to do that. 234 00:20:14,827 --> 00:20:16,886 You just tell me what to do. 235 00:20:35,114 --> 00:20:37,480 - Excuse me. You Tony? - That's me. 236 00:20:37,550 --> 00:20:40,519 Hi. I'm Daniel Hillard, the actor. 237 00:20:42,021 --> 00:20:44,717 Follow me. 238 00:20:46,659 --> 00:20:50,527 Oh, films! Will I be introducing these movies on air? 239 00:20:50,663 --> 00:20:53,097 - Not exactly. - What do I do? 240 00:20:53,166 --> 00:20:56,431 You take all these cans. You box 'em and you ship 'em. 241 00:20:56,502 --> 00:21:00,131 Then you box those cans over there. Ship them. Then more will come in. 242 00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:03,134 You box those, you ship those. 243 00:21:03,242 --> 00:21:05,301 Any questions? 244 00:21:06,446 --> 00:21:08,539 After you box 'em...? 245 00:21:08,648 --> 00:21:10,878 You ship 'em. 246 00:21:10,950 --> 00:21:13,043 Lots of luck, smartass. 247 00:21:16,656 --> 00:21:19,557 I think I made a friend. 248 00:21:25,965 --> 00:21:28,900 - Miranda. - Stu! 249 00:21:34,207 --> 00:21:36,675 Hello, Miranda. 250 00:21:36,776 --> 00:21:39,472 - It's been a long time. - Yes. 251 00:21:42,548 --> 00:21:46,314 Mr Dunmeyer's come by to look over your sketches. 252 00:21:48,621 --> 00:21:51,283 Let me show you to the conference room. 253 00:21:52,024 --> 00:21:55,221 As you probably know, the estate was built in 1876. 254 00:21:55,328 --> 00:21:59,822 These sketches are meant to reflect your desire to have it completely restored. 255 00:21:59,932 --> 00:22:01,923 You look better than ever. 256 00:22:02,001 --> 00:22:07,496 The lobby will resemble a music salon with inspiration from the French Second Empire. 257 00:22:07,573 --> 00:22:10,508 I was thinking a 17th-century grand piano... 258 00:22:10,576 --> 00:22:14,171 I've been following your career these past couple of years. 259 00:22:14,247 --> 00:22:19,184 A tufted sofa, a Flemish tapestry, a brass-bound Regency-style table... 260 00:22:19,252 --> 00:22:23,018 I'd love to get reacquainted. Catch up. 261 00:22:24,424 --> 00:22:26,824 Mantel clocks. 262 00:22:26,926 --> 00:22:29,759 Fringed, upholstered chairs, heavy drapes. 263 00:22:29,862 --> 00:22:32,456 Can we talk? Over dinner, maybe? 264 00:22:34,734 --> 00:22:37,726 Stuart, thank you. I... 265 00:22:37,837 --> 00:22:41,000 I'm at the beginning of a divorce. 266 00:22:42,475 --> 00:22:44,568 It just didn't work out. 267 00:22:44,644 --> 00:22:48,011 - Oh, Miranda, I'm sorry. - You don't have to say that. 268 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:52,744 No, really. I mean, I never held any grudges or anything. I just... 269 00:22:52,852 --> 00:22:56,083 Well, I always hoped you'd find happiness. 270 00:22:56,589 --> 00:22:58,682 Oh, God, that's so nice. 271 00:22:58,791 --> 00:23:03,194 I was just worried my coming in here might scare you off the project. 272 00:23:03,262 --> 00:23:05,355 No, no. Of course not. I... 273 00:23:06,365 --> 00:23:08,663 I'm a professional. I'm... 274 00:23:08,768 --> 00:23:14,001 I was flattered that you thought of me after all these years and everything. 275 00:23:14,574 --> 00:23:16,701 Yeah, everything. 276 00:23:16,809 --> 00:23:20,040 Well... Ancient history. 277 00:23:20,646 --> 00:23:22,409 Yeah. 278 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,118 I'm late. I've got a meeting over at the bank. 279 00:23:34,060 --> 00:23:36,722 Can we talk maybe later in the week? 280 00:23:36,829 --> 00:23:39,627 - Sure. - Good. 281 00:23:39,699 --> 00:23:42,224 It's good to see you again. 282 00:24:04,323 --> 00:24:06,416 Good, huh? 283 00:24:09,028 --> 00:24:12,623 I know the place doesn't look like much now, but... 284 00:24:12,698 --> 00:24:15,223 It'll be OK. How do you like it? 285 00:24:16,669 --> 00:24:19,160 - Nice. - It's OK. 286 00:24:19,272 --> 00:24:21,263 Detestable. 287 00:24:22,575 --> 00:24:24,702 Hey, just give me some time. 288 00:24:25,144 --> 00:24:28,079 I'm not too comfortable with this new lifestyle. 289 00:24:28,147 --> 00:24:30,081 Neither are we. 290 00:24:30,583 --> 00:24:33,108 I know it's hard, sweetie. 291 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,720 Can't you just tell Mom you're sorry? 292 00:24:39,191 --> 00:24:41,682 Wish I could. 293 00:24:41,761 --> 00:24:44,127 You know, grown-up problems... 294 00:24:44,196 --> 00:24:47,063 They're a little more complicated, Nattie. 295 00:24:50,269 --> 00:24:52,499 How is the old battle-axe? 296 00:24:53,105 --> 00:24:55,505 - Your mom. - She's fine. 297 00:24:55,575 --> 00:24:58,100 Oh. I'm glad to hear that. 298 00:24:59,211 --> 00:25:04,080 I'd hate to think that she came down with amoebic dysentery or piles. 299 00:25:04,150 --> 00:25:06,414 What's amoebic dysentery? 300 00:25:07,186 --> 00:25:10,747 It's an infection in your tummy where you get diarrhoea forever. 301 00:25:10,823 --> 00:25:14,759 - Diarrhoea forever? - And your body dries up and you die. 302 00:25:14,827 --> 00:25:18,126 - You die? - You don't have to be so graphic with her. 303 00:25:18,197 --> 00:25:23,692 - I read about it in a science book. - Why would you want Mommy to die? 304 00:25:24,170 --> 00:25:27,162 Oh, honey, I don't want Mommy to die. 305 00:25:27,773 --> 00:25:30,207 Then why did you say that? 306 00:25:32,645 --> 00:25:36,513 Look, Dad, you're not trying very hard. 307 00:25:36,582 --> 00:25:40,780 We only get to come here once a week. That's not very much. 308 00:25:40,853 --> 00:25:44,619 You're right. I'm sorry. I'll try harder. 309 00:25:45,725 --> 00:25:49,525 Nattie, I'll think good thoughts, OK? 310 00:25:49,795 --> 00:25:54,528 - About Mommy? - I'll try. I really will. 311 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:58,536 - And call her a princess. - Oh, yes. 312 00:25:59,739 --> 00:26:03,334 And right now I feel like a toad. 313 00:26:04,944 --> 00:26:06,809 Daddy's a toad. 314 00:26:14,387 --> 00:26:16,981 - That's Mom. - Can't be. She's an hour early. 315 00:26:17,356 --> 00:26:19,449 Come on, Nattie, we gotta go. 316 00:26:20,259 --> 00:26:22,386 No, no! Come on, sit down. 317 00:26:22,461 --> 00:26:24,224 Sit down! 318 00:26:24,296 --> 00:26:27,561 You don't have to run off when she honks the horn. 319 00:26:27,633 --> 00:26:30,363 Come on, you're on my time now. 320 00:26:30,436 --> 00:26:33,462 You're my goddamn kids, too! 321 00:26:39,178 --> 00:26:41,476 Come on. 322 00:26:49,889 --> 00:26:51,584 Hi. 323 00:26:51,891 --> 00:26:54,860 Oh, Daniel... Charming. 324 00:26:54,927 --> 00:26:58,624 Thank you, Miranda. I was going for a refugee motif. 325 00:26:58,698 --> 00:27:01,098 Fleeing-my-homeland kind of thing. 326 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,265 But look at you! 327 00:27:03,335 --> 00:27:08,136 This lovely Dances With Wolves motif. What's your Indian name: Shops With A Fist? 328 00:27:08,441 --> 00:27:11,877 - Are my children ready yet? - No, our children are not ready yet... 329 00:27:11,944 --> 00:27:16,108 ..because you are an hour early and you were late dropping them off. 330 00:27:16,248 --> 00:27:22,118 Daniel, I don't have time for this. I have to drop something off at the newspaper office. 331 00:27:22,254 --> 00:27:25,485 Newspaper? Are you taking out one of those personal ads? 332 00:27:25,558 --> 00:27:30,291 ''DWF seeks WWM with BMW, into light B&D''? 333 00:27:30,496 --> 00:27:32,828 I'm placing an ad for a housekeeper. 334 00:27:34,033 --> 00:27:37,332 Housekeeper? Why do you need a housekeeper? 335 00:27:37,436 --> 00:27:43,102 I need someone to be there when the children get home from school, to clean, start dinner... 336 00:27:43,175 --> 00:27:46,576 - How much are you gonna pay? - $300 a week. Is that all right? 337 00:27:49,582 --> 00:27:51,948 May I see the ad? 338 00:27:52,051 --> 00:27:56,920 - I have a right as their father. Please? - All right. Anything else you wanna see? 339 00:27:56,989 --> 00:27:59,685 - Are you offering? - Not any more. 340 00:27:59,759 --> 00:28:01,317 What's the change? 341 00:28:01,393 --> 00:28:04,385 - Are you guys all right? - Yeah, Mommy. We're fine. 342 00:28:05,998 --> 00:28:08,558 Miranda, why not let me take care of the kids? 343 00:28:08,667 --> 00:28:13,536 I'll pick 'em up after school, be with them, then drop them off at your house after work. 344 00:28:13,606 --> 00:28:15,198 - That'd be great! - Please! 345 00:28:15,341 --> 00:28:18,003 - Look. The kids love it. - Mommy, please! 346 00:28:18,110 --> 00:28:20,704 I'll think about it. 347 00:28:24,950 --> 00:28:27,885 We're his goddamn kids, too. 348 00:28:32,591 --> 00:28:34,491 Kids say the darndest things. 349 00:28:35,227 --> 00:28:41,097 Thank you. Any other choice phrases you'd like to teach our five-year-old, Daniel? 350 00:28:42,535 --> 00:28:45,504 Come on, everybody get their coats. 351 00:28:45,571 --> 00:28:48,938 - Put them on and let's get out of here. - OK, Mom. 352 00:28:49,008 --> 00:28:53,536 I would say go to the bathroom before we go, but I don't think that's a good idea. 353 00:28:57,983 --> 00:29:00,975 Don't forget anything. I don't wanna come back. 354 00:29:01,053 --> 00:29:03,112 Come on, let's go. 355 00:29:03,556 --> 00:29:06,650 - See you Saturday. - Say goodbye to your father. 356 00:29:06,759 --> 00:29:08,818 Goodbye, Daddy. 357 00:29:10,563 --> 00:29:12,861 - Here's your ad. - I'll get my purse. 358 00:29:12,965 --> 00:29:15,024 Yeah, you'd better. 359 00:29:29,849 --> 00:29:32,943 Hello. Are you calling in response to the ad? 360 00:29:34,620 --> 00:29:39,057 - Who was your previous employer? - I was in a band. Severe Tyre Damage. 361 00:29:39,158 --> 00:29:41,683 - In a band? - I just wanna know one thing. 362 00:29:41,794 --> 00:29:46,891 Are your kids well-behaved, or do they need, like, a few light slams every now and then? 363 00:29:48,367 --> 00:29:50,665 - I'll have to get back to you. - Wow! 364 00:29:53,906 --> 00:29:58,843 Ja, my name is Ilsa Himmelman. I want to know how many children do you have? 365 00:29:58,911 --> 00:30:02,472 - I have two girls and a boy. - Oh, a boy! 366 00:30:02,581 --> 00:30:06,278 I don't work with the males �cos I used to be one. 367 00:30:08,988 --> 00:30:10,216 Yikes. 368 00:30:13,893 --> 00:30:15,417 Hello. 369 00:30:16,061 --> 00:30:20,794 Leyla, get back in your cell! Don't make me get the hose! 370 00:30:20,866 --> 00:30:21,890 Hello? 371 00:30:26,839 --> 00:30:29,808 I am job. 372 00:30:30,743 --> 00:30:34,907 - Do you speak English? - I am job. 373 00:30:35,214 --> 00:30:38,149 I'm sorry. The position has been filled. 374 00:30:38,250 --> 00:30:40,741 Oh, what a nightmare! 375 00:30:42,121 --> 00:30:45,284 Let's go in for the kill. 376 00:30:53,866 --> 00:30:56,096 Hello? 377 00:30:56,168 --> 00:30:59,296 I'm calling in regards to the ad I read in the paper. 378 00:31:01,373 --> 00:31:05,309 Yes. Well, would you tell me a little bit about yourself? 379 00:31:05,577 --> 00:31:07,670 Oh, certainly, dear. 380 00:31:07,746 --> 00:31:12,740 For the past 15 years I've worked for the Smythe family of Elbourne, England. 381 00:31:12,851 --> 00:31:14,910 That's Smythe, not Smith, dear. 382 00:31:15,554 --> 00:31:22,323 And for them, I did housecleaning, cooking, and took care of their four glorious children. 383 00:31:22,394 --> 00:31:27,661 I grew quite attached to them after 15 years, but they grew up, as children tend to. 384 00:31:27,733 --> 00:31:32,898 Oh, but listen to me. I am going on when you should be telling me about your little ones. 385 00:31:32,972 --> 00:31:36,100 - Well, I have two girls... - Oh, two precious gems. 386 00:31:36,175 --> 00:31:38,370 No doubt the jewel of your eye. 387 00:31:38,477 --> 00:31:42,777 - And one boy. - Oh, the little prince. How wonderful. 388 00:31:43,282 --> 00:31:46,308 I must tell you, a little light cooking is required. 389 00:31:46,385 --> 00:31:49,377 Oh, I don't mind that, dear. I'd love some heavy cooking. 390 00:31:49,488 --> 00:31:53,982 But I do have one rule: they'll only eat good, nutritious food with me. 391 00:31:54,093 --> 00:31:58,325 And if there's any dispute, it's either good, wholesome food or empty tummies. 392 00:31:58,397 --> 00:32:01,332 That's my rule. I hope it's not too harsh for you, dear. 393 00:32:01,967 --> 00:32:03,730 No! 394 00:32:03,802 --> 00:32:08,102 Would you mind coming on an interview? Say, Monday night at 7.30? 395 00:32:08,173 --> 00:32:11,006 - Oh, I'd love to, dear. - Wonderful. 396 00:32:11,543 --> 00:32:16,037 I'm at 2640 Steiner Street. 397 00:32:16,148 --> 00:32:18,378 Steiner. Oh, how lovely. 398 00:32:18,917 --> 00:32:22,546 - Could you tell me your name? - My name? 399 00:32:23,155 --> 00:32:25,783 I thought I gave it to you, dear. 400 00:32:25,858 --> 00:32:27,325 No. 401 00:32:32,164 --> 00:32:34,826 - Doubtfire. - I beg your pardon? 402 00:32:35,134 --> 00:32:38,331 Doubtfire, dear. Mrs Doubtfire. 403 00:32:38,404 --> 00:32:42,932 - Well, I look forward to meeting you. - Oh, lovely, dear. Me, too. 404 00:32:43,008 --> 00:32:45,476 - Bye-bye. - Ta-ta. 405 00:32:49,148 --> 00:32:51,207 Showtime. 406 00:32:56,288 --> 00:32:59,189 - Daniel, hi. - Could you make me a woman? 407 00:33:00,492 --> 00:33:03,552 Honey, I'm so happy! 408 00:33:03,629 --> 00:33:06,257 - Oh, come here. - I knew you'd understand. 409 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,296 - Is this gonna hurt? - Don't whine. Just relax. 410 00:33:11,403 --> 00:33:14,372 - Are you sure? - Just remember, pain is beauty. 411 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:18,240 OK, take a deep breath. Instant eye lift. 412 00:33:19,878 --> 00:33:22,039 And the strings are under the wig. 413 00:33:22,514 --> 00:33:27,781 - The man has five-o'clock shadow at 8.30am. - All right, we'll start with make-up. 414 00:33:27,853 --> 00:33:31,414 - I'm not gonna wax. - Don't worry. We'll just lightly spackle. 415 00:33:31,490 --> 00:33:35,017 - I feel like Gloria Swanson. - You look like her mother. 416 00:33:35,260 --> 00:33:37,888 I'm ready for my close-up, Mr DeMille. 417 00:33:38,831 --> 00:33:42,198 OK, everyone. Let's pray. 418 00:33:45,237 --> 00:33:49,003 I hope you are using Jungle Red. That is the colour I love. 419 00:33:49,074 --> 00:33:51,133 - Matches your lips. - God bless you. 420 00:33:51,243 --> 00:33:54,610 I'm feeling fabulous because I met this beautiful Cuban. 421 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,114 Every night is like the Bay of Pigs. 422 00:33:57,216 --> 00:34:00,151 I can't lie to you. It's beautiful with him. 423 00:34:00,252 --> 00:34:04,951 I don't know. This would scare the children. Maybe this is too much for them. 424 00:34:05,457 --> 00:34:07,823 I think we have to go to the next level. 425 00:34:07,893 --> 00:34:09,724 Latex. 426 00:34:10,662 --> 00:34:13,324 Oy, it was such a shandeh. 427 00:34:13,432 --> 00:34:16,959 I should never buy gribbenes from a mohel. It's so chewy. 428 00:34:17,069 --> 00:34:20,334 - No, I feel like Bubbee. This is not working. - Don't worry. 429 00:34:20,439 --> 00:34:24,933 It's a work in progress and you're my brother. I will never let you be embarrassed. 430 00:34:25,043 --> 00:34:27,568 - God bless you. - We'll have to do the entire face. 431 00:34:27,679 --> 00:34:30,170 But look at this nice thing we have here. 432 00:34:50,669 --> 00:34:52,694 It's not working. I need to go older. 433 00:34:52,771 --> 00:34:56,502 Older? Like Shelley Winters older or Shirley MacLaine older? 434 00:34:56,575 --> 00:35:00,102 - What's the difference? - Some Scotch tape and red hair dye. 435 00:35:00,179 --> 00:35:03,910 - What about Joan Collins? - I don't think I have the strength. 436 00:35:03,982 --> 00:35:06,075 But I have some plaster. 437 00:36:09,348 --> 00:36:11,373 Are we close? 438 00:36:11,450 --> 00:36:14,817 Any closer and you'd be Mom. 439 00:36:30,869 --> 00:36:32,962 That's disgusting! 440 00:36:34,673 --> 00:36:37,767 The most revolting thing I've ever seen. 441 00:36:37,843 --> 00:36:39,640 Awesome. 442 00:36:41,780 --> 00:36:43,907 What is this? Turn it off, will you? 443 00:36:44,049 --> 00:36:47,382 Come on. I want you to meet this lady with me. 444 00:36:47,452 --> 00:36:51,047 I want you to be polite to her, then... tell me what you think. 445 00:36:51,123 --> 00:36:55,492 Everybody stand over here and help me decide what to do. 446 00:37:00,265 --> 00:37:02,825 Hello. Mrs Hillard, I presume. 447 00:37:02,901 --> 00:37:05,062 Yes. I'm Miranda Hillard. 448 00:37:05,137 --> 00:37:07,469 Euphegenia Doubtfire. 449 00:37:07,539 --> 00:37:09,905 Yes. Won't you please come in? 450 00:37:10,008 --> 00:37:12,442 Thank you, dear. 451 00:37:13,011 --> 00:37:15,946 - And these must be the cherubs. - Yes. 452 00:37:17,015 --> 00:37:20,109 - This is Natalie. - Oh, hello, Natalie. 453 00:37:20,218 --> 00:37:22,482 - Are you wearing bug spray? - Nattie! 454 00:37:22,554 --> 00:37:27,218 It's quite all right, dear. No offense taken. I was a little liberal with the atomizer. 455 00:37:27,292 --> 00:37:31,558 And at my age, it's like a good Stilton. Everything has its own aroma. 456 00:37:31,663 --> 00:37:36,123 I admire that honesty, Nattie. That's a noble quality. Never lose that. 457 00:37:36,234 --> 00:37:39,931 It often disappears with age or entering politics. 458 00:37:40,038 --> 00:37:43,769 Look at that face. You remind me of Stuart Little, 459 00:37:43,875 --> 00:37:47,333 one of the most honourable creatures in all of literature. 460 00:37:47,446 --> 00:37:51,746 - Do you know that book, Stuart Little? - Yeah! It's one of my favourites. 461 00:37:51,850 --> 00:37:55,786 Mine, too! Maybe I could read it to you - if I get the position. 462 00:37:55,887 --> 00:37:59,323 - That would be wonderful. - And who is this strapping young lad? 463 00:37:59,391 --> 00:38:01,689 - This is Chris. - Hello, Christopher. 464 00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:03,591 Hello. 465 00:38:03,695 --> 00:38:07,495 Jeez, you're big for a lady. You could play for the 49ers. 466 00:38:07,566 --> 00:38:11,502 Well, I was a fullback. But that's European football, dear. 467 00:38:11,570 --> 00:38:14,061 - Soccer? - Yes. You play soccer, too? 468 00:38:14,172 --> 00:38:16,402 - Yeah! - Oh, isn't that amazing? 469 00:38:16,508 --> 00:38:21,070 Yes, I was captain of the women's team. We won three university championships. 470 00:38:21,179 --> 00:38:23,272 Oh, but that was decades ago! 471 00:38:23,348 --> 00:38:27,808 But I was more disciplined then. I always put my studies ahead of my athletics. 472 00:38:27,919 --> 00:38:31,616 I'm sure you're the same and you've done all your homework already. 473 00:38:31,723 --> 00:38:35,386 - Well, not exactly. - Really? Oh. That's a pity. 474 00:38:35,494 --> 00:38:40,989 Young men who don't do their studies often miss out on more amusing activities. 475 00:38:42,033 --> 00:38:44,797 - And who is this young lady? - This is Lydia. 476 00:38:46,772 --> 00:38:48,831 Hello, Lydia. 477 00:38:51,009 --> 00:38:54,501 This isn't fair, Mom. Why do we need a housekeeper anyway? 478 00:38:54,579 --> 00:38:57,104 - This is all I need. - Why can't Dad do it? 479 00:38:57,315 --> 00:39:03,015 Dear, I don't think it's appropriate to argue with your mother in front of a stranger. 480 00:39:03,121 --> 00:39:06,557 I just don't see why we can't spend the extra time with Dad. 481 00:39:06,625 --> 00:39:10,823 Maybe she's right, dear. Maybe their father would be a more appropriate person. 482 00:39:10,929 --> 00:39:13,420 No, I don't think so. 483 00:39:13,532 --> 00:39:18,060 It's not my fault, honey. If he would get a job and a decent apartment... 484 00:39:18,170 --> 00:39:21,469 - You see, he's the kind... - Excuse me, dear. 485 00:39:21,573 --> 00:39:24,736 I'm sure you'd want the children to step out of the room 486 00:39:24,810 --> 00:39:27,779 before you verbally bash their father. Hm? 487 00:39:27,846 --> 00:39:30,576 If I did that, I might never see them again. 488 00:39:32,818 --> 00:39:35,651 - I'm sorry. You're right. - No harm done. 489 00:39:35,754 --> 00:39:40,418 - You're absolutely right. - I'm not a therapist. I just see what I see. 490 00:39:40,492 --> 00:39:43,586 Why don't you guys go on upstairs? I'll be up in a minute. 491 00:39:43,662 --> 00:39:46,825 - It's lovely to meet you. - Yeah, nice to meet you. 492 00:39:46,898 --> 00:39:48,991 You too, Lydie. 493 00:39:55,073 --> 00:39:57,234 - Oh, they're a spirited bunch. - Yes. 494 00:39:57,375 --> 00:40:00,708 - Especially Lydie. She's got daggers for you. - I know. 495 00:40:00,812 --> 00:40:04,612 - They're very upset with me right now. - Probably the divorce. 496 00:40:04,683 --> 00:40:06,776 How did you know? 497 00:40:06,852 --> 00:40:10,117 You can sense it, dear - the way she talks about her father. 498 00:40:10,222 --> 00:40:15,854 I don't think he's in the Navy, the way she's saying she misses him. It's like he's nearby. 499 00:40:15,927 --> 00:40:17,918 - Yes. - Oh, that's so sad. 500 00:40:18,029 --> 00:40:20,793 - Would you care to have a cup of tea? - I'd love that. 501 00:40:20,866 --> 00:40:23,733 - It's right in here. - What a lovely home you have. 502 00:40:23,835 --> 00:40:26,133 - Did you decorate this yourself? - Yes, I did. 503 00:40:26,238 --> 00:40:30,800 Oh, it reeks of taste! Isn�t this lovely, dear! 504 00:40:30,876 --> 00:40:34,004 - Here's my r�sum�. - Oh. Thank you. 505 00:40:34,079 --> 00:40:37,480 - Let me start this tea. - Oh, no, dear. Let me get that for you. 506 00:40:37,549 --> 00:40:43,715 You've had a hard day. You just sit yourself down on that stool and leave the tea to me. 507 00:40:43,822 --> 00:40:46,689 Thank you. That's very nice of you. 508 00:40:46,758 --> 00:40:48,851 Oh, not at all, dear. 509 00:40:48,927 --> 00:40:51,828 - Oh. What a wonderful r�sum�. - Thank you, dear. 510 00:40:52,163 --> 00:40:54,654 ''Expert in first aid and CPR.'' 511 00:40:54,733 --> 00:40:56,826 And Heimlich manoeuvre, dear. 512 00:40:56,902 --> 00:41:00,429 You can never be too prepared when little ones are around. 513 00:41:00,505 --> 00:41:04,305 They'll swallow anything. You've got to be ready to pop it out. 514 00:41:05,343 --> 00:41:07,470 Oh, let's see. 515 00:41:08,847 --> 00:41:11,441 What a perfectly appointed little cubby! 516 00:41:11,516 --> 00:41:15,680 Look at this. Everything has its place and name tag. 517 00:41:15,754 --> 00:41:18,723 How precise! It's lovely. 518 00:41:18,790 --> 00:41:20,883 My husband never appreciated it. 519 00:41:20,959 --> 00:41:23,052 Oh. Poor dolt. 520 00:41:23,128 --> 00:41:26,120 That's not the reason you divorced him, was it? 521 00:41:26,965 --> 00:41:28,193 No. 522 00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:33,102 It's so sad, because marriage can be such a blessing. 523 00:41:33,171 --> 00:41:35,731 So can divorce. 524 00:41:36,775 --> 00:41:43,943 Daniel is a very difficult man to live with. But the children are crazy about him. 525 00:41:44,015 --> 00:41:47,815 You don't have to be a psychic to sense that. 526 00:41:48,620 --> 00:41:52,021 My, you certainly do know your way around a kitchen! 527 00:41:53,959 --> 00:41:58,020 It's just because everything is so accessible. You designed it. 528 00:41:58,597 --> 00:42:02,693 I'm amazed there isn't a little label there that says ''spoons''. 529 00:42:05,170 --> 00:42:07,968 You remind me of someone. 530 00:42:08,907 --> 00:42:11,535 Really? Who? 531 00:42:13,578 --> 00:42:15,842 I feel like I've known you for years. 532 00:42:16,815 --> 00:42:20,251 Maybe we knew each other in another life. 533 00:42:22,053 --> 00:42:25,420 I would love for you to come and work with us. 534 00:42:25,557 --> 00:42:28,151 - So would I. - Great! 535 00:42:28,226 --> 00:42:30,319 It would be an honour. 536 00:42:31,062 --> 00:42:33,428 To us. 537 00:42:33,565 --> 00:42:37,160 To us. The start of a business relationship. 538 00:43:07,465 --> 00:43:09,592 Good evening, dear. 539 00:43:11,369 --> 00:43:13,428 Evening, ma'am. 540 00:43:19,244 --> 00:43:21,508 Cold night, isn't it? 541 00:43:21,646 --> 00:43:23,841 Yes, it is. 542 00:43:24,182 --> 00:43:28,312 Hope you have somethin' nice and warm to go home to. 543 00:43:41,199 --> 00:43:43,292 My back. 544 00:43:43,401 --> 00:43:49,033 Jesus! If I find the misogynistic bastard that invented heels, I'll kill him. 545 00:43:49,908 --> 00:43:52,001 God...! 546 00:44:00,552 --> 00:44:02,281 Excuse me. 547 00:44:02,353 --> 00:44:04,344 Mrs Sellner! 548 00:44:05,490 --> 00:44:07,856 Have we met? 549 00:44:07,926 --> 00:44:11,123 No. But Danny's told me all about you. 550 00:44:11,963 --> 00:44:14,625 I'm his sister. 551 00:44:15,467 --> 00:44:17,697 His... much older sister. 552 00:44:19,137 --> 00:44:22,470 - You have his eyes. - Only if he fills out a donor card. 553 00:44:24,743 --> 00:44:29,510 - Is Mr Hillard in? I have an appointment. - Do you? Oh, that's wonderful. 554 00:44:29,581 --> 00:44:32,141 Let me go up and get him and he'll be right down. 555 00:44:32,250 --> 00:44:33,842 - I'll come with you. - No. 556 00:44:33,918 --> 00:44:35,283 - Yes. - Why? 557 00:44:35,353 --> 00:44:41,349 Because I have an appointment on Monday and Friday evenings to check the apartment. 558 00:44:41,459 --> 00:44:44,326 I remember him saying something about that. 559 00:44:44,395 --> 00:44:47,922 Are you sure, dear? It's three floors, hoofin' it all the way. 560 00:44:47,999 --> 00:44:50,467 - If you can do it, I can. - I'll bet so! 561 00:44:50,535 --> 00:44:52,594 - Is your ticker all right? - Top-notch. 562 00:44:52,704 --> 00:44:56,333 Oh, good! Cos I don't want to jump-start ya. 563 00:44:58,910 --> 00:45:00,343 Damn door. 564 00:45:00,411 --> 00:45:03,471 Come in, please, dear. Sorry about that. 565 00:45:03,548 --> 00:45:05,607 Here we are. Daniel's abode. 566 00:45:08,119 --> 00:45:11,782 Oh, that's mine, dear. I'm a messy house guest. 567 00:45:11,890 --> 00:45:14,984 Well, just make yourself at home. I'll be right back. 568 00:45:15,093 --> 00:45:17,152 He'll be back. I'll go get him. 569 00:45:17,228 --> 00:45:20,356 Don't be afraid. I'll be right there. Danny! 570 00:45:20,431 --> 00:45:24,197 Danny boy, where are you? Oh, here he is, dear. I found him. 571 00:45:24,302 --> 00:45:26,964 Danny, there's a Mrs Sellner here to see you! 572 00:45:27,038 --> 00:45:29,404 - Oh, is she here? - Yes, she is. 573 00:45:29,841 --> 00:45:32,969 Mrs Sellner, I just got out of the shower! 574 00:45:33,044 --> 00:45:35,535 I think you'll be very pleased with me! 575 00:45:35,613 --> 00:45:39,049 I've been through some really interesting changes! 576 00:45:39,150 --> 00:45:42,711 And I'm becoming a new man and a model father! 577 00:45:43,855 --> 00:45:47,052 He'll be right there. He's just changing, dear. 578 00:45:48,059 --> 00:45:51,620 I want to keep you abreast of the changes in my career! 579 00:45:51,729 --> 00:45:56,325 There have been two big developments! I'm finally starting to come into my own! 580 00:45:56,401 --> 00:46:00,770 Things are really starting to take shape, and I'm blossoming! Really, I am! 581 00:46:00,872 --> 00:46:06,435 Things were hairy for a while, but I'm in great shape now! 582 00:46:06,544 --> 00:46:09,035 I'm my own man now! Oh, yes! 583 00:46:10,281 --> 00:46:13,216 A job I could really sink my teeth into! 584 00:46:13,284 --> 00:46:15,445 I'll be right there, Mrs Sellner! 585 00:46:18,656 --> 00:46:22,592 So nice I don't have to save face any more, Mrs Sellner! 586 00:46:25,830 --> 00:46:29,197 Mrs Sellner! How are you? Always a joy! 587 00:46:29,267 --> 00:46:32,566 If you wanted some cheese, why didn't you just say so? 588 00:46:32,904 --> 00:46:36,431 Well, you'll be happy to know that I now am holding down two jobs. 589 00:46:36,507 --> 00:46:40,466 One for an educational film and TV company - heavy responsibility. 590 00:46:40,578 --> 00:46:44,981 - And the other? - Cleaning houses. Not mine. 591 00:46:46,618 --> 00:46:48,916 - Big girl! - Your sister is English? 592 00:46:49,020 --> 00:46:51,181 She's half-English, half-American. 593 00:46:51,256 --> 00:46:55,488 Half-sister, really. That makes her an eighth English? I've never done the math. 594 00:46:55,593 --> 00:47:00,292 Let me see, my father was American. He flew for the English during the war. 595 00:47:00,398 --> 00:47:04,061 He was in London and... he met this lovely Englishwoman. 596 00:47:04,135 --> 00:47:07,798 Well, my sister was the fruit of their passions. 597 00:47:07,872 --> 00:47:10,670 Sorry. My sister's, not yours. 598 00:47:10,742 --> 00:47:16,237 You see, she's not a very good housekeeper. But she makes a fabulous cup of English tea. 599 00:47:16,314 --> 00:47:19,943 Really? Well, I would adore a good cup of English tea. 600 00:47:20,051 --> 00:47:23,452 Oh! Wouldn't we all! I'll go get her. 601 00:47:23,521 --> 00:47:26,251 Sis! Oh, sis! 602 00:47:26,324 --> 00:47:28,417 Sis, are you in here? 603 00:47:28,493 --> 00:47:31,223 Tea? Cup of TNT. 604 00:47:48,913 --> 00:47:51,040 Sick. Mom! 605 00:47:55,687 --> 00:47:57,279 My face! 606 00:48:03,728 --> 00:48:05,787 I've gotta go down and get it. 607 00:48:08,900 --> 00:48:10,527 Norman Bates! 608 00:48:32,290 --> 00:48:34,520 Miss Hillard? 609 00:48:34,592 --> 00:48:37,720 - Yes, dear? - I take sugar in my tea. 610 00:48:37,795 --> 00:48:39,888 Oh, your tea! 611 00:48:39,964 --> 00:48:42,558 I'll be right there with your tea! 612 00:48:45,903 --> 00:48:49,532 Coming right up, dear! Sugar - one lump or two, dear? 613 00:48:49,607 --> 00:48:52,940 - Two, please! - Tea, sugar, hot water. 614 00:48:53,011 --> 00:48:56,503 You got it. Coming right your way, dear! 615 00:48:56,581 --> 00:48:58,742 I'll be right there with your tea! 616 00:49:01,786 --> 00:49:03,583 No! Stop! 617 00:49:12,263 --> 00:49:13,753 Oh, shit! 618 00:49:20,338 --> 00:49:24,934 - Can I give you a hand? - Oh, no, dear! I don't need a hand. 619 00:49:25,009 --> 00:49:27,637 I need a face. 620 00:49:28,579 --> 00:49:32,345 - Are you sure? - Oh, definitely! 621 00:49:37,955 --> 00:49:41,789 I'm not a Muslim. I need a face! Oh, God. 622 00:49:44,896 --> 00:49:48,559 Miss Hillard? The water's boiling. 623 00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:50,097 Hello! 624 00:49:51,636 --> 00:49:56,699 Oh, I'm sorry to frighten you, dear. I must look like a yeti in this get-up. 625 00:49:56,808 --> 00:50:00,710 This is my nightly meringue mask. Part of my beauty regimen. 626 00:50:00,812 --> 00:50:05,909 It's basically egg whites, cr�me fra�che, powdered sugar, vanilla and a touch of alum. 627 00:50:06,017 --> 00:50:11,319 There you go, dear. Oh! You've got your cream and sugar. It's a little cappu-tea-no. 628 00:50:11,522 --> 00:50:13,649 One drop or two? Would you like another? 629 00:50:13,724 --> 00:50:16,386 Oh! There you go! 630 00:50:16,461 --> 00:50:21,023 As you can see, I can't stay with you, dear. I'm melting like a snow cone in Phoenix. 631 00:50:21,099 --> 00:50:26,264 There we go again! I'll go get Danny. He'll be right with you. Hold on. 632 00:50:26,337 --> 00:50:29,602 - Danny! - Coming, sis! 633 00:50:29,674 --> 00:50:33,269 - It was lovely to have met you! - Lovely to meet you. 634 00:50:50,728 --> 00:50:56,132 - Had a little accident. - Be careful this time. She's an old woman. 635 00:50:58,169 --> 00:51:00,831 Why wasn't I an only child? 636 00:51:36,741 --> 00:51:38,971 - Sorry. - That's quite all right. 637 00:51:50,121 --> 00:51:52,180 Ready? OK. 638 00:51:52,823 --> 00:51:54,381 Did you have fun? 639 00:51:54,492 --> 00:51:57,393 - What did you do? - I painted a picture of a bunny. 640 00:51:57,495 --> 00:51:59,759 The teacher liked it. 641 00:52:01,232 --> 00:52:05,100 Here it is, Mel. $1,000 worth of hair. What am I supposed to do with it? 642 00:52:05,169 --> 00:52:08,036 - Alan, I was wondering if... - You want one of them? 643 00:52:08,973 --> 00:52:12,136 I`d rather make a coat for my wife. 644 00:52:12,210 --> 00:52:15,805 All right, everyone. It's time to expand your minds. 645 00:52:15,913 --> 00:52:21,215 - It's homework time. OK? - Yeah, but... after Dick Van Dyke. 646 00:52:22,653 --> 00:52:25,315 No. Now. 647 00:52:25,856 --> 00:52:26,948 No. 648 00:52:28,259 --> 00:52:31,126 We always watch Dick Van Dyke. 649 00:52:33,564 --> 00:52:36,465 Really? Well, not any more. 650 00:52:37,868 --> 00:52:41,167 The only thing you'll be watching is Deep Sea-N-N. 651 00:52:42,573 --> 00:52:44,006 Now, 652 00:52:44,542 --> 00:52:47,534 I know you're used to loosey-goosey. 653 00:52:47,612 --> 00:52:50,547 But I run a much tighter ship. 654 00:52:50,848 --> 00:52:55,285 Between the hours of 3pm and 7pm, I'm in charge. 655 00:52:55,820 --> 00:52:59,779 And when I'm in charge, you will follow a schedule. 656 00:52:59,857 --> 00:53:02,849 Those who do not follow the schedule will be punished. 657 00:53:03,694 --> 00:53:06,788 - Punished? - She's lying. 658 00:53:06,864 --> 00:53:08,957 She'd never punish us. 659 00:53:09,467 --> 00:53:11,958 Don't... fuss with me. 660 00:53:44,068 --> 00:53:46,502 This is exploitation. It's not fair. 661 00:53:46,604 --> 00:53:49,801 - Shut up, Lydie. - Yeah. You got us into this. 662 00:53:49,874 --> 00:53:52,308 Ooh, my little ankle-biters. 663 00:53:52,410 --> 00:53:55,004 Do I sense dissension in the ranks? 664 00:53:55,079 --> 00:53:58,810 Are we ready for homework, or shall we continue manual labour? 665 00:53:58,883 --> 00:54:03,752 - No. Anything but this. - Then upstairs, my little nose-miners. 666 00:54:03,854 --> 00:54:06,948 Go. Flee before me! 667 00:54:07,058 --> 00:54:09,356 Onward and upward! 668 00:54:09,460 --> 00:54:11,690 Go pump some neurons. 669 00:54:11,762 --> 00:54:13,855 Expand your craniums. 670 00:54:13,931 --> 00:54:16,024 - I miss Dad. - Me, too. 671 00:54:16,100 --> 00:54:18,660 Me most. 672 00:54:20,371 --> 00:54:22,464 I'm here, guys. 673 00:54:23,641 --> 00:54:25,700 In some form. 674 00:54:28,512 --> 00:54:30,639 Let's see. 675 00:54:33,984 --> 00:54:36,077 OK. Pinch of basil. 676 00:54:39,056 --> 00:54:41,115 Damn! 677 00:54:48,899 --> 00:54:50,958 Mayday! 678 00:54:51,602 --> 00:54:53,695 Oh, God! It's gonna blow! 679 00:54:56,006 --> 00:54:58,099 Easy. 680 00:54:58,175 --> 00:55:00,268 Damn. Calm down. 681 00:55:01,412 --> 00:55:03,505 Come on. 682 00:55:04,181 --> 00:55:07,480 How is it? Oh, my God. It's clotted. Oh, God. 683 00:55:08,819 --> 00:55:11,788 This hollandaise smells like burnt rubber. 684 00:55:12,623 --> 00:55:14,784 God, it's hot in here. 685 00:55:33,978 --> 00:55:38,244 Look at this! My first day as a woman and I'm getting hot flashes. 686 00:55:55,199 --> 00:55:57,599 - Hey, here's your food. - How much is it? 687 00:55:57,735 --> 00:56:00,966 - 135.27. - 135 dollars?! That's certainly... 688 00:56:01,038 --> 00:56:03,131 And 27 cents. 689 00:56:03,207 --> 00:56:06,074 Four dinners. 20 bucks extra for rushing us. 690 00:56:06,177 --> 00:56:10,136 Rushing? Well, you could have been a little bit faster, dear. 691 00:56:10,214 --> 00:56:13,650 - There's 140. Do you have change? - No. 692 00:56:13,784 --> 00:56:16,878 I thought you wouldn't. Thank you very much. 693 00:56:47,251 --> 00:56:49,310 Hello! 694 00:56:50,821 --> 00:56:52,880 Hello! Anybody home? 695 00:56:55,426 --> 00:56:58,418 - Where were you guys? - Upstairs, doing our homework. 696 00:56:58,496 --> 00:57:00,726 Mrs Doubtfire said we had to. 697 00:57:00,865 --> 00:57:03,459 Oh, she did, huh? 698 00:57:03,534 --> 00:57:06,526 Doing your homework. How great! 699 00:57:06,637 --> 00:57:08,434 - Hi. - Hi, honey. 700 00:57:08,506 --> 00:57:12,465 Look at this place! It looks wonderful! All spick-and-span. 701 00:57:26,156 --> 00:57:28,624 Dinner is served, madam. 702 00:57:29,493 --> 00:57:31,290 How lovely! 703 00:57:53,584 --> 00:57:55,518 Mrs Doubtfire? 704 00:57:55,586 --> 00:57:59,352 Lydia, dear. Get back inside right now before you freeze. 705 00:57:59,456 --> 00:58:03,916 Look... I just want to apologize for being such a pain today. 706 00:58:03,994 --> 00:58:07,725 - Oh, dear, it's all right. - No, I'm really sorry. 707 00:58:08,999 --> 00:58:13,299 It's just... I'm still kind of messed-up. About everything. 708 00:58:15,606 --> 00:58:17,699 We all are, sweetie. 709 00:58:18,475 --> 00:58:20,272 What? 710 00:58:20,744 --> 00:58:25,147 I just mean I understand the pain you're all going through. 711 00:58:27,151 --> 00:58:29,210 Yeah. 712 00:58:30,087 --> 00:58:32,282 Well, I also wanted to thank you. 713 00:58:32,823 --> 00:58:35,986 - For what? - For making my mom so happy. 714 00:58:38,562 --> 00:58:43,522 She hasn't been in this good a mood since... I can't even remember. 715 00:58:45,803 --> 00:58:47,896 It's been a long time. 716 00:58:48,005 --> 00:58:50,439 - It has? - Yeah. 717 00:58:51,709 --> 00:58:53,768 Well, I gotta go back in, but... 718 00:58:53,911 --> 00:58:57,403 - Go. - OK. Thank you. 719 00:58:58,015 --> 00:59:00,506 You're welcome. 720 00:59:03,520 --> 00:59:05,579 Bye. 721 00:59:11,428 --> 00:59:13,521 Thank you. 722 00:59:26,477 --> 00:59:28,468 Oh, no. 723 00:59:29,546 --> 00:59:33,642 Well, milady! It's a pleasure to see you again! 724 00:59:33,751 --> 00:59:35,810 A joy, as always. 725 00:59:54,304 --> 00:59:56,772 I like that Mediterranean look in women. 726 00:59:58,375 --> 01:00:00,434 Natural. Healthy. 727 01:00:02,012 --> 01:00:04,105 Just the way God made ya. 728 01:00:05,215 --> 01:00:09,811 He broke the mould when he made me, dear. He made me very special. 729 01:00:10,254 --> 01:00:12,722 He sure did. 730 01:00:13,924 --> 01:00:16,449 Bless you. 731 01:01:33,804 --> 01:01:37,262 I am not a crook. 732 01:01:37,341 --> 01:01:39,741 ''She kissed Stuart and thanked him.'' 733 01:01:40,544 --> 01:01:42,944 '''How was it down there?' asked Mr Little, 734 01:01:43,013 --> 01:01:46,574 who was always curious to know about places he'd never been to.'' 735 01:01:46,683 --> 01:01:48,583 '''It was all right,' said Stuart.'' 736 01:02:38,202 --> 01:02:39,999 Back off, asshole! 737 01:02:40,070 --> 01:02:41,799 Beat it! 738 01:02:44,374 --> 01:02:47,343 Broke my bag, the bastard. 739 01:02:54,818 --> 01:02:57,480 Lover boy's here. 740 01:02:57,588 --> 01:03:00,785 What a beautiful little car for Don Juan. 741 01:03:05,462 --> 01:03:07,555 So sad when that happens! 742 01:03:07,831 --> 01:03:12,495 It was our junior year in college, and your mother got asked to design this big float. 743 01:03:15,172 --> 01:03:18,471 - I wasn't that young. - I went to kiss her... 744 01:03:18,575 --> 01:03:22,375 Elastic bands were flying out everywhere. Hit you in the face. 745 01:03:22,446 --> 01:03:25,847 - That's not true! - It was like Jaws. 746 01:03:25,916 --> 01:03:29,875 - Isn�t that the pretty picture! - Oh. Mrs Doubtfire. 747 01:03:30,520 --> 01:03:34,684 Miranda. What a pleasant surprise to see you home so early, dear. 748 01:03:34,791 --> 01:03:37,624 - And who is your gentleman caller? - This is Stu. 749 01:03:37,694 --> 01:03:41,130 - He just wanted to come and meet the kids. - Oh, did he? 750 01:03:41,231 --> 01:03:44,667 Ah, this must be the famous Mrs Doubtfire. 751 01:03:44,935 --> 01:03:47,028 It's a pleasure to meet you. 752 01:03:48,038 --> 01:03:50,905 Yes, well... Miranda's been raving about you. 753 01:03:51,008 --> 01:03:53,909 - Odd. She's never mentioned you. - No? 754 01:03:54,011 --> 01:03:57,139 - No. - Well... It's good to meet you. 755 01:03:57,247 --> 01:03:59,306 - You, too. - Yes. 756 01:04:00,017 --> 01:04:04,511 I have a home in London. I was born there. What part of England are you from? 757 01:04:04,621 --> 01:04:09,149 - Here and there, dear. All over, really. - Yes? 758 01:04:09,259 --> 01:04:13,252 - Accent's a little kind of... muddled. - Really? So is your tan. 759 01:04:15,832 --> 01:04:19,529 Dear, can you help me with something? I found this outside. 760 01:04:20,637 --> 01:04:22,628 Yes. This is off my Mercedes. 761 01:04:22,706 --> 01:04:27,268 Off your Mercedes, dear? You own that big, expensive car out there? 762 01:04:27,344 --> 01:04:30,711 Oh, dear. They say a man who has to buy a big car like that 763 01:04:30,781 --> 01:04:33,147 is compensating for smaller genitals. 764 01:04:33,250 --> 01:04:37,687 But not in your case, cos I see that you're a strapping lad, aren't ya? 765 01:04:37,754 --> 01:04:40,484 - It was lovely to meet you. - You too, dear. 766 01:04:41,158 --> 01:04:45,117 - Mrs Doubtfire, may I speak with you? - Ooh, certainly, dear. 767 01:04:45,729 --> 01:04:48,664 Could you stay a few extra hours this evening? 768 01:04:48,732 --> 01:04:52,930 Stu. That's more of a thick soup than a name, really. 769 01:04:53,003 --> 01:04:55,096 It's a name. It's short for Stuart. 770 01:04:55,172 --> 01:04:58,300 - Is it? - Yes. He's a client. And a friend. 771 01:04:58,375 --> 01:05:01,003 - He was a friend. He is a friend. - What is he? 772 01:05:01,111 --> 01:05:03,875 - I don't know what's happening. - What is it, dear? 773 01:05:03,947 --> 01:05:06,609 - Isn�t he fabulous? - Kind of, dear. 774 01:05:06,717 --> 01:05:09,379 If you like that handsome, rugged type. 775 01:05:09,519 --> 01:05:12,977 But personally I prefer short, furry and funny. 776 01:05:13,090 --> 01:05:15,581 He just wants to go out and have a drink. 777 01:05:15,692 --> 01:05:19,594 - I think that's pretty harmless. Don't you? - Absolutely not, dear. 778 01:05:19,696 --> 01:05:23,291 - They always have other intentions. - This is business, mostly. 779 01:05:23,367 --> 01:05:26,700 I'll just sip club soda and we'll go over wallpaper samples. 780 01:05:27,004 --> 01:05:30,303 Dear Miranda. Wake up and smell the coffee, dear. 781 01:05:30,374 --> 01:05:33,002 Can't you see the lust in that man's eyes? 782 01:05:33,110 --> 01:05:36,011 It's too soon, dear. Really. 783 01:05:36,113 --> 01:05:38,377 You've got to give your divorce time. 784 01:05:38,448 --> 01:05:43,442 Let your sheets cool down before you bring someone else into the bed. All right? 785 01:05:43,587 --> 01:05:46,112 Mrs Doubtfire, may I ask you a question? 786 01:05:46,189 --> 01:05:48,248 Certainly, dear. 787 01:05:48,358 --> 01:05:50,952 How long after Mr Doubtfire passed away... 788 01:05:51,028 --> 01:05:52,825 Winston. 789 01:05:52,929 --> 01:05:55,420 ..did you feel any desire... 790 01:05:59,002 --> 01:06:00,799 Never. 791 01:06:00,871 --> 01:06:02,805 Never again. 792 01:06:02,873 --> 01:06:06,775 Once the father of your children is out of the picture, 793 01:06:06,843 --> 01:06:10,438 the only solution is total and lifelong celibacy. 794 01:06:10,847 --> 01:06:12,439 - Celibacy? - Yes. 795 01:06:12,816 --> 01:06:15,614 And if you violate that, heaven forgive ya. 796 01:06:16,953 --> 01:06:18,818 Good luck. 797 01:06:19,890 --> 01:06:21,983 Thank you. 798 01:06:27,497 --> 01:06:29,863 ''Preponderance.'' 799 01:06:38,508 --> 01:06:41,636 Bravo. ''Discriminate.'' 800 01:06:49,286 --> 01:06:53,450 Oh, that's very good. Will you excuse me, dear? Call of nature. 801 01:06:54,791 --> 01:06:57,259 Check those. I'll be right back. 802 01:07:19,616 --> 01:07:21,846 - Oh, God. - Oh, God! 803 01:07:22,519 --> 01:07:25,044 - Oh, my God! - Chris! Wait! 804 01:07:25,856 --> 01:07:27,915 Lydia! We gotta call the cops! 805 01:07:28,024 --> 01:07:30,549 - We gotta dial 911 now! - Why? 806 01:07:30,660 --> 01:07:34,221 Mrs Doubtfire. He's a she! 807 01:07:34,297 --> 01:07:36,265 What?! 808 01:07:36,333 --> 01:07:38,961 - He's half man, half woman! - What?! 809 01:07:39,536 --> 01:07:43,529 - All right, everyone. Calm down. - Freeze! Or you're gonna get it! 810 01:07:43,640 --> 01:07:45,107 - In the balls! - Yeah! 811 01:07:45,942 --> 01:07:48,467 - She's got 'em? - She's got everything. 812 01:07:48,545 --> 01:07:50,638 All right. Listen to me. 813 01:07:50,747 --> 01:07:53,238 I'm not... who you think I am. 814 01:07:53,316 --> 01:07:56,513 - No shit! - Watch your mouth, young man! 815 01:08:00,290 --> 01:08:02,349 Oh, my God. 816 01:08:05,595 --> 01:08:08,462 - Dad? - Yeah. 817 01:08:09,366 --> 01:08:11,994 - Dad? - Yeah, honey. 818 01:08:13,570 --> 01:08:16,334 You don't really like wearin' that stuff, do you? 819 01:08:16,873 --> 01:08:19,569 Well, some of it's comfortable... No! 820 01:08:20,010 --> 01:08:24,106 It's a pain in the padded ass. This is not a way of life. It's just a job. 821 01:08:24,714 --> 01:08:28,377 I don't go to old-lady bars or anything like that after work. 822 01:08:28,485 --> 01:08:31,215 It's the only way I could see you guys every day. 823 01:08:31,321 --> 01:08:35,155 - Who did this? - Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack. 824 01:08:41,498 --> 01:08:43,557 It's really you in there. 825 01:08:43,633 --> 01:08:45,726 Yeah. 826 01:08:48,171 --> 01:08:53,438 It's just a mask. And this is a body suit. I didn't have any operations or anything. 827 01:08:53,543 --> 01:08:55,636 - It's good. - Yeah. 828 01:08:55,745 --> 01:08:57,212 Hi. 829 01:08:59,249 --> 01:09:03,151 - Sorry I scared you. Come here, Chris. - No. No, it's OK. 830 01:09:03,220 --> 01:09:06,917 I get it. I just... don't wanna hug you or anything. 831 01:09:07,357 --> 01:09:10,793 - Not just yet. - That's cool. It's a guy thing. 832 01:09:11,561 --> 01:09:13,222 Yeah. 833 01:09:13,330 --> 01:09:16,527 Well, now that you know, you can't tell Mom, OK? 834 01:09:17,334 --> 01:09:23,068 Cos if she finds out, I'll only be able to see you through plate glass. OK? 835 01:09:23,173 --> 01:09:26,267 And we can't tell Nattie, cos she'll blow my cover. 836 01:09:26,376 --> 01:09:29,573 So you have to promise me, it's just us. All right? 837 01:09:29,646 --> 01:09:32,046 - You promise? - Yeah. 838 01:09:34,484 --> 01:09:36,577 It's OK. 839 01:09:38,455 --> 01:09:41,185 All right? It's our little secret. 840 01:09:44,694 --> 01:09:49,256 Most of the dinosaurs were herbivorous. 841 01:09:49,366 --> 01:09:51,994 But this Tyrannosaurus-rex 842 01:09:52,669 --> 01:09:55,035 is a carnivore. 843 01:10:01,911 --> 01:10:05,074 The reptile-like Saurischia 844 01:10:08,285 --> 01:10:11,118 and the bird-like 845 01:10:11,221 --> 01:10:13,086 Ornithischia. 846 01:10:19,729 --> 01:10:22,527 Now, we`re going to go 847 01:10:22,632 --> 01:10:25,123 where no human being has ever been. 848 01:10:25,235 --> 01:10:27,294 Oh, no. 849 01:10:28,872 --> 01:10:30,999 Which one's the dinosaur? 850 01:10:31,074 --> 01:10:35,807 - The one in the middle, I think. - Nah, you're wrong. They're all extinct. 851 01:10:37,647 --> 01:10:42,050 I can't believe they're still subjecting kids to this. This is insane. 852 01:10:42,118 --> 01:10:47,249 There should be a disclaimer: Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show. 853 01:10:47,324 --> 01:10:49,417 It's incredible. 854 01:10:49,492 --> 01:10:53,519 This guy used to put me to sleep when I was a kid. It's amazing. 855 01:10:53,630 --> 01:10:58,761 He has the warmth of a snow pea. Makes Mr Rogers look like Mick Jagger. It's insane. 856 01:10:59,502 --> 01:11:03,029 What kind of idiot kept this guy on the air for 25 years? 857 01:11:03,640 --> 01:11:05,107 Me. 858 01:11:08,244 --> 01:11:10,109 You? 859 01:11:10,180 --> 01:11:12,080 Jonathan Lundy. 860 01:11:13,516 --> 01:11:16,246 Jonathan Lundy, General Manager, owner? 861 01:11:17,253 --> 01:11:19,312 Daniel Hillard, former employee. 862 01:11:20,657 --> 01:11:22,716 Maybe. 863 01:11:23,259 --> 01:11:25,318 That's funny. 864 01:11:25,395 --> 01:11:27,590 I don't mean to criticize. I just... 865 01:11:27,697 --> 01:11:31,565 - Sometimes I have... - Criticize all you want. Show's terrible. 866 01:11:31,668 --> 01:11:36,071 I'm gonna cancel it. It's pullin' down the whole afternoon schedule. It's gone. 867 01:11:36,139 --> 01:11:38,198 You know what you gotta do? 868 01:11:38,308 --> 01:11:41,368 Start from scratch. Give it... maybe a musical number. 869 01:11:41,478 --> 01:11:46,472 - A little Tyrannosaurus rex comes out... - Hillard, get your ass to the truck. 870 01:11:46,549 --> 01:11:49,950 That shipment's gotta make a six o'clock flight to LA. 871 01:11:50,019 --> 01:11:52,579 Tone, this is Mr Lundy. 872 01:11:53,022 --> 01:11:55,582 - He knows who I am. - Yeah. 873 01:11:55,692 --> 01:12:00,026 Did you ever wish that you could freeze-frame a single moment in your day, 874 01:12:00,163 --> 01:12:02,757 look at it and say ''This is not my life''? 875 01:12:30,026 --> 01:12:32,824 Miranda. What are you home early for, dear? 876 01:12:32,929 --> 01:12:35,261 I had an appointment. Oh, thank you! 877 01:12:35,365 --> 01:12:38,630 With the court liaison. Mrs Sellner. 878 01:12:38,735 --> 01:12:41,226 - I can't believe it. - What, dear? 879 01:12:41,805 --> 01:12:46,071 She says Daniel has some woman living with him pretending to be his sister! 880 01:12:47,343 --> 01:12:53,248 - I told her he doesn't even have a sister. - Mrs Sellner's probably mistaken. 881 01:12:53,349 --> 01:12:56,841 She's a social worker, dear. Really! 882 01:12:56,953 --> 01:13:00,582 And besides, how could he replace you? 883 01:13:00,657 --> 01:13:03,217 And so quickly. Really! 884 01:13:03,293 --> 01:13:06,751 She's supposed to be older and very unattractive. 885 01:13:08,431 --> 01:13:10,490 Really? 886 01:13:11,301 --> 01:13:13,394 Mrs Doubtfire. 887 01:13:15,004 --> 01:13:18,098 - Yes? - Did you and Mr Doubtfire ever... 888 01:13:19,042 --> 01:13:24,912 - You must have had your share of problems. - Oh, of course, dear. What marriage doesn't? 889 01:13:25,014 --> 01:13:28,711 But I always say: the bad times fade away, 890 01:13:28,818 --> 01:13:31,878 and the good ones adhere themselves to your memory. 891 01:13:31,988 --> 01:13:34,684 - Yes. Excuse me. - That's all right. 892 01:13:37,794 --> 01:13:42,390 As I hold this cold meat, I'm reminded of Winston. God rest his soul. 893 01:13:43,099 --> 01:13:45,067 When did he... pass on? 894 01:13:46,669 --> 01:13:49,934 Eight years ago, dear. This November. 895 01:13:50,206 --> 01:13:52,299 What happened? 896 01:13:52,408 --> 01:13:55,138 - He was quite fond of the drink. - Ah. 897 01:13:56,012 --> 01:13:58,606 - It was the drink that killed him. - How awful. 898 01:13:58,681 --> 01:14:02,879 - He was an alcoholic? - No. He was hit by a Guinness truck. 899 01:14:02,952 --> 01:14:05,944 So it was quite literally the drink that killed him. 900 01:14:06,089 --> 01:14:08,614 - How tragic! - Yes. 901 01:14:13,129 --> 01:14:16,064 Oh, but he was a good man, though, really. 902 01:14:17,567 --> 01:14:20,035 A sainted man. 903 01:14:20,103 --> 01:14:22,833 And despite his mountains of faults, dear, 904 01:14:22,906 --> 01:14:26,307 I always say: a flawed husband is better than none at all. 905 01:14:27,477 --> 01:14:31,914 - Who needs a husband when I've got you? - Surely you don't mean that, dear? 906 01:14:31,981 --> 01:14:34,449 - Well... - Oh, that's so sweet! 907 01:14:34,517 --> 01:14:38,317 You can't imagine what it was like being married to Daniel. 908 01:14:38,388 --> 01:14:43,189 Tell me, dear. What was so horrible about this man you lived with for 14 years? 909 01:14:43,293 --> 01:14:45,386 Well, at first, nothing. 910 01:14:45,495 --> 01:14:48,589 He was so... romantic. 911 01:14:48,698 --> 01:14:50,757 - So passionate. - Really? 912 01:14:50,867 --> 01:14:53,768 He sounds like an absolute stud, dear. 913 01:14:53,870 --> 01:14:57,738 I hope you don't mind me being a tad rude, but... 914 01:14:57,807 --> 01:15:01,800 How was he... you know... on a scale of 1 to 10? 915 01:15:01,911 --> 01:15:05,278 Oh, well. That part was always... 916 01:15:05,982 --> 01:15:07,677 OK. 917 01:15:07,750 --> 01:15:10,014 Just OK? 918 01:15:10,587 --> 01:15:14,546 He was probably a Casanova compared to poor old Winston. 919 01:15:14,624 --> 01:15:17,149 - What was the matter with Winston? - Oh, dear. 920 01:15:17,226 --> 01:15:21,595 Winston's idea of foreplay was ''Effie, brace yourself.'' 921 01:15:24,701 --> 01:15:27,932 It was Daniel's spontaneity and energy I fell in love with. 922 01:15:28,004 --> 01:15:29,904 Really? 923 01:15:29,973 --> 01:15:34,569 Everyone else I knew was so organized, so scheduled. 924 01:15:34,644 --> 01:15:36,737 Like me, I guess. 925 01:15:36,813 --> 01:15:41,807 But Daniel was so wonderfully different. And funny. He could always make me laugh. 926 01:15:41,918 --> 01:15:45,149 I always say: the key to a solid marriage is laughter. 927 01:15:46,456 --> 01:15:50,187 But after a few years, everything just stopped being funny. 928 01:15:50,259 --> 01:15:53,990 - Why? - I was working all the time. 929 01:15:54,063 --> 01:15:58,261 And he was always between jobs. I hardly ever got to see the kids. 930 01:15:58,368 --> 01:16:02,270 If I got home early to be with them, something would go wrong. 931 01:16:02,372 --> 01:16:05,808 The house would be wrecked and I'd have to clean it up. 932 01:16:07,143 --> 01:16:11,842 He never knew, but so many nights I just... cried myself to sleep. 933 01:16:13,650 --> 01:16:15,550 Really? 934 01:16:17,487 --> 01:16:21,184 The truth is, I didn't like who I was when I was with him. 935 01:16:21,958 --> 01:16:24,222 I would turn into this horrible person. 936 01:16:25,261 --> 01:16:29,061 I didn't want my kids growing up with a mother like that. 937 01:16:30,400 --> 01:16:32,891 When I'm not with Daniel, I'm better. 938 01:16:34,003 --> 01:16:38,633 And... I'm sure he's better when he's not with me. 939 01:16:39,842 --> 01:16:42,367 Well, you never... 940 01:16:42,445 --> 01:16:46,814 I mean... Did you ever say anything to him, dear? 941 01:16:49,018 --> 01:16:52,112 Daniel never liked to talk about anything serious. 942 01:16:58,127 --> 01:17:02,291 I used to think Daniel could do anything. Except be serious. 943 01:17:04,901 --> 01:17:08,667 But then, I was serious enough for everybody. 944 01:17:30,960 --> 01:17:35,420 - This is great! - Isn�t this posh! 945 01:17:35,498 --> 01:17:41,061 I'll bet it's very exclusive. Probably need a credit reference just to get in the pool. 946 01:17:41,137 --> 01:17:43,833 - Amazing! - Oh, Nattie. 947 01:17:43,906 --> 01:17:47,899 Not a single body that exists in nature. Look at that. 948 01:17:47,977 --> 01:17:50,138 - Lydie... - There's Stu! 949 01:17:50,246 --> 01:17:52,441 Where? Oh. On the board. 950 01:17:53,182 --> 01:17:55,742 Oh, isn't he a stunning piece of work? 951 01:17:55,852 --> 01:17:58,980 Look, Nattie. That's called liposuction. 952 01:18:10,133 --> 01:18:13,899 I hope he had protection, hitting the water at that speed. 953 01:18:13,970 --> 01:18:16,871 - Let's go say hi. - Let's do, please. 954 01:18:16,939 --> 01:18:19,567 - That's amazing. - Stunning. 955 01:18:26,482 --> 01:18:29,940 - Hello! You look lovely! - Hi. 956 01:18:30,019 --> 01:18:32,487 Oh, guys, I'm so glad you could make it. 957 01:18:32,555 --> 01:18:36,548 - By the looks of you, that water's so cold! - Yes, well... 958 01:18:36,692 --> 01:18:39,593 Your tummy looks different from my daddy's. 959 01:18:40,429 --> 01:18:45,025 Oh, Nattie! Not everyone has their own personal trainer. 960 01:18:45,568 --> 01:18:49,129 - Got your swimsuits? Wanna go for a dip? - That'd be great! 961 01:18:49,372 --> 01:18:53,308 - Good! How about you, Mrs Doubtfire? - Oh, you wicked, wicked man! 962 01:18:53,376 --> 01:18:56,743 Isn�t there enough flesh here for you to feast your eyes on? 963 01:18:56,813 --> 01:19:01,307 - Come, Mrs Doubtfire. Don't be bashful. - No, dear. They've outlawed whaling. 964 01:19:01,384 --> 01:19:04,785 - We'd be re-enacting the Titanic. - Come on, Mrs Doubtfire. 965 01:19:04,854 --> 01:19:08,722 Oh, no. Just go. Leave me here. I'll just sit in the sun and crisp. 966 01:19:08,791 --> 01:19:11,555 You can't get heatstroke twice in the same year. 967 01:19:11,627 --> 01:19:14,460 OK. Well, let's go, kids. Swim time. 968 01:19:14,797 --> 01:19:17,994 - Go, dear. I'll be fine. - Your day's on me, Mrs Doubtfire. 969 01:19:18,067 --> 01:19:21,036 - Anything you need, put it on my tab. - Thank you, dear. 970 01:19:21,137 --> 01:19:24,470 Touch me again and I'll drown you, you bastard. 971 01:19:24,574 --> 01:19:28,271 I'll just sit here and watch you move in on my family. 972 01:19:33,049 --> 01:19:37,486 Oh, God. What am I doing here? This is beyond obsession. 973 01:20:05,414 --> 01:20:09,407 - Is everything all right, ma'am? - Fan-bloody-tastic. 974 01:20:09,485 --> 01:20:11,077 - Can I have another? - Sure. 975 01:20:11,187 --> 01:20:12,211 Great. 976 01:20:22,899 --> 01:20:25,265 Soda with a lime, please. 977 01:20:34,877 --> 01:20:37,345 - It's on me. - No, thanks. 978 01:20:46,522 --> 01:20:48,615 Four iced teas, Todd. 979 01:20:49,625 --> 01:20:51,684 So, whose rugrats? 980 01:20:54,563 --> 01:20:56,292 Miranda Hillard's. 981 01:20:56,365 --> 01:20:59,528 - Miranda Hillard? - The woman I'm seeing. 982 01:21:00,436 --> 01:21:03,371 No kidding? You? The guy who's never having kids? 983 01:21:03,472 --> 01:21:07,841 Won't have anything to do with kids? You won't even date a woman with kids. 984 01:21:07,944 --> 01:21:10,037 People change, Ron. 985 01:21:10,112 --> 01:21:13,946 I'm pushing 40. I don't want to spend the rest of my life by myself. 986 01:21:14,050 --> 01:21:16,450 She's got an awful lot of baggage. Three kids. 987 01:21:16,519 --> 01:21:21,456 Three terrific kids, and I'm crazy about them. Especially little Natalie. Look at her. 988 01:21:21,524 --> 01:21:23,719 She's a sweetie pie. 989 01:21:24,493 --> 01:21:29,089 God knows they need a stable father figure in their life right now. 990 01:21:29,165 --> 01:21:34,501 - What about their real father? - What can I say? The guy's a loser. I'll see ya. 991 01:21:35,504 --> 01:21:38,132 Loser? Oh, yeah? 992 01:21:43,179 --> 01:21:45,272 Oh, sir! 993 01:21:45,348 --> 01:21:49,682 I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff. Did you not tip them? 994 01:21:49,752 --> 01:21:53,620 Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way. It was a run-by fruiting. 995 01:21:53,723 --> 01:21:56,214 I'll get them, sir. Don't worry. 996 01:22:03,733 --> 01:22:05,792 Good waste of juice. 997 01:22:05,901 --> 01:22:07,630 Loser. 998 01:22:09,805 --> 01:22:12,171 What are you lookin' at? 999 01:22:43,773 --> 01:22:45,832 Hi, boys and girls. 1000 01:22:45,941 --> 01:22:49,240 Today we'll be talking about dinosaurs. 1001 01:22:49,345 --> 01:22:52,576 It's A Dinosaurus Line! 1002 01:22:56,218 --> 01:22:58,686 And please welcome... the king! 1003 01:23:02,892 --> 01:23:06,623 It's a dinner show. Hi! Where you from? I'm gonna make you lunch. 1004 01:23:06,695 --> 01:23:09,095 Thank you very much. Thank you! All right! 1005 01:23:09,198 --> 01:23:12,292 Ladies and gentlemen, put your claws together! 1006 01:23:12,401 --> 01:23:16,701 Please welcome... James Browntosaurus! 1007 01:23:18,707 --> 01:23:20,698 I eat wood 1008 01:23:21,010 --> 01:23:23,478 It tastes good 1009 01:23:24,013 --> 01:23:26,277 No meat, big feet 1010 01:23:26,382 --> 01:23:29,180 I eat wood 1011 01:23:29,251 --> 01:23:33,119 Oh, I got to help myself! Can't go on! I'm goin' extinct! 1012 01:23:33,222 --> 01:23:38,785 Oh, thank you, James. But right now... it's time for the Raptor Rap! 1013 01:23:38,861 --> 01:23:41,728 I'm a raptor, doin' what I can 1014 01:23:41,831 --> 01:23:44,994 Gonna eat everything till the appearance of man 1015 01:23:45,301 --> 01:23:48,498 Yo, yo, see me, I'm livin' below the soil 1016 01:23:48,604 --> 01:23:51,630 I'll be back but I'm comin' as oil 1017 01:23:54,877 --> 01:23:57,607 Very impressive, Mr Hillard! 1018 01:23:57,680 --> 01:24:02,413 - I didn't know anybody was watching. - I was watching. That's funny stuff. 1019 01:24:02,485 --> 01:24:05,545 - Well, thanks. - I think kids'd like it. 1020 01:24:05,654 --> 01:24:09,920 - They'd be entertained and get information. - That's kinda my theory. 1021 01:24:10,025 --> 01:24:12,926 You don't have to play down to 'em, just play to 'em. 1022 01:24:13,028 --> 01:24:16,691 - Listen, I'd like to hear more of your ideas. - My ideas? 1023 01:24:16,765 --> 01:24:20,360 - How about a dinner meeting? - Wow. OK. 1024 01:24:20,469 --> 01:24:23,632 Next Friday. Bridges Restaurant. Seven o'clock sharp. 1025 01:24:25,074 --> 01:24:27,167 I'll be there. 1026 01:24:32,481 --> 01:24:34,108 Take five. 1027 01:24:34,250 --> 01:24:37,276 Take five million. You're dead. 1028 01:24:40,723 --> 01:24:45,660 We've just had our first home-cooked meal. I'm domestic now, huh? 1029 01:24:45,728 --> 01:24:49,528 - This is terrific, Dad. - You want more spaghetti? 1030 01:24:49,598 --> 01:24:52,396 - No, I'm stuffed. - Garlic bread? I made it myself. 1031 01:24:52,501 --> 01:24:55,766 Well, I didn't make it myself. I cooked it. I sliced it. 1032 01:24:55,871 --> 01:24:58,396 It's OK, Dad. Thanks. 1033 01:24:58,507 --> 01:25:01,340 The place looks great. The food's terrific. 1034 01:25:02,211 --> 01:25:04,941 I'm really proud of you. 1035 01:25:05,014 --> 01:25:06,538 Yeah. Me, too. 1036 01:25:06,615 --> 01:25:09,140 Me, too. 1037 01:25:12,087 --> 01:25:14,317 I'll be right back. 1038 01:25:19,895 --> 01:25:22,420 - Thank you for knocking. - Yeah. 1039 01:25:24,633 --> 01:25:26,965 Look at this! 1040 01:25:27,036 --> 01:25:29,504 I see you got someone to clean for you. 1041 01:25:29,572 --> 01:25:31,631 No. 1042 01:25:33,442 --> 01:25:35,933 - Hi, guys. - Hi, Mom. 1043 01:25:36,312 --> 01:25:39,145 - Are they ready? - No. They haven't had dessert yet. 1044 01:25:39,215 --> 01:25:42,412 - You cooked? - Yes. I cook, I bake, I sew. 1045 01:25:42,785 --> 01:25:45,913 Thanks to this Amish home study course I'm doing. 1046 01:25:46,322 --> 01:25:48,790 - I'm very impressed. - Really? 1047 01:25:48,857 --> 01:25:52,725 Give me a second chance. OK? Let me take the kids after school. 1048 01:25:53,429 --> 01:25:57,195 - I can't get rid of Mrs Doubtfire. She's terrific. - Why not? 1049 01:25:57,333 --> 01:25:59,858 She's the best thing that ever happened to us. 1050 01:25:59,969 --> 01:26:04,872 The kids are all doing better in school. Chris is passing every single subject. 1051 01:26:04,974 --> 01:26:09,741 I find myself getting home early just to be with them. We're all doing so great. 1052 01:26:12,081 --> 01:26:14,675 Sounds like an amazing woman. Too good to be true. 1053 01:26:14,783 --> 01:26:16,944 She is. 1054 01:26:24,693 --> 01:26:27,253 - I kinda like the black one. - Me, too. 1055 01:26:27,830 --> 01:26:30,230 I don't know. Actually... Mrs Doubtfire! 1056 01:26:30,366 --> 01:26:32,596 - Yes? - We need another woman's opinion. 1057 01:26:32,668 --> 01:26:34,761 Oh! Then I'm your woman. 1058 01:26:34,837 --> 01:26:37,567 - Which one? - What's the occasion? 1059 01:26:37,640 --> 01:26:40,302 It's my birthday. 1060 01:26:40,442 --> 01:26:43,104 Stu's taking me out to dinner. 1061 01:26:45,047 --> 01:26:46,981 Neither. 1062 01:26:47,049 --> 01:26:50,041 They're both too brazen, dear. They cry ''harlot''. 1063 01:26:50,119 --> 01:26:52,883 Red is the traditional colour for streetwalkers. 1064 01:26:52,988 --> 01:26:57,015 And the black one is far too short. I hope you waxed. 1065 01:26:57,092 --> 01:26:58,889 They both say to me ''I'm easy.'' 1066 01:26:58,994 --> 01:27:03,226 You want to be Kilimanjaro on your first date - inaccessible. 1067 01:27:03,299 --> 01:27:06,200 Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? 1068 01:27:06,268 --> 01:27:09,726 No, let's find something more your own age. 1069 01:27:09,838 --> 01:27:11,897 Something a little less tawdry. 1070 01:27:12,708 --> 01:27:14,801 Let's see. 1071 01:27:14,877 --> 01:27:18,472 How about this lovely frock? Tasteful, elegant... 1072 01:27:18,547 --> 01:27:20,538 Don't you think? 1073 01:27:20,649 --> 01:27:24,210 And old. I wore that to my aunt's funeral in 1976. 1074 01:27:24,286 --> 01:27:27,687 A classic never dies, dear. I think it's time to revive it. 1075 01:27:27,756 --> 01:27:30,725 I think we should ask the kids. What do you think? 1076 01:27:30,826 --> 01:27:35,456 - I'd go with the short, black one. - Yeah. It's the most fun. 1077 01:27:36,265 --> 01:27:38,324 There. You see? I agree. 1078 01:27:38,467 --> 01:27:41,903 Fine. You ask my opinion, then don't take it. 1079 01:27:41,970 --> 01:27:46,669 - I will not be held responsible for your virtue. - You'll be there to protect me. 1080 01:27:46,742 --> 01:27:52,078 - Stu has invited you and the kids to join us. - Oh, how lovely! One big, happy family. 1081 01:27:52,147 --> 01:27:55,913 I wouldn't miss that for the world! Should be smashing good fun! 1082 01:27:55,984 --> 01:27:59,579 - I'm so glad. - When is this enchanted evening? 1083 01:27:59,688 --> 01:28:02,521 Friday night, seven o'clock. 1084 01:28:02,591 --> 01:28:06,493 - This Friday at seven? - Yes. At my favourite restaurant. Bridges. 1085 01:28:07,596 --> 01:28:09,689 - Bridges? - Yes. 1086 01:28:09,765 --> 01:28:11,892 - Friday at seven. - Bridges. 1087 01:28:11,967 --> 01:28:14,060 Sorry. 1088 01:28:15,104 --> 01:28:17,163 - Bridges? - Yes! Bridges. 1089 01:28:17,272 --> 01:28:20,537 - The restaurant Bridges? - Friday at seven. 1090 01:28:21,610 --> 01:28:25,603 - I can't. Please, don't. It's bingo night, dear. - Cancel it. 1091 01:28:25,714 --> 01:28:29,172 I can't, dear. It's my turn to pull the balls at the rectory. 1092 01:28:29,284 --> 01:28:31,752 - Please join us. - Don't ask me that, dear. 1093 01:28:31,820 --> 01:28:33,913 I can't have my birthday without you. 1094 01:28:33,989 --> 01:28:38,119 It's so important to us that you be there. You're part of the family now. 1095 01:28:38,193 --> 01:28:43,130 I can't have a birthday without you. It would mean so much to me and the children. 1096 01:28:43,198 --> 01:28:47,635 Please promise you'll come with us, Mrs Doubtfire. You just have to. 1097 01:28:49,371 --> 01:28:51,896 Who could resist that little face? 1098 01:28:53,375 --> 01:28:55,900 - I promise. - Thank you! 1099 01:28:57,179 --> 01:28:59,113 Thank you, dear. 1100 01:28:59,982 --> 01:29:01,847 - Are you all right? - Fine. 1101 01:29:01,950 --> 01:29:04,009 Let's see... Nothing. 1102 01:29:04,119 --> 01:29:06,314 - Anything in May? - Not a thing. 1103 01:29:06,388 --> 01:29:08,447 It doesn't look good. 1104 01:29:09,224 --> 01:29:12,785 I'm sorry. Mr Lundy is completely booked for the next two months. 1105 01:29:13,228 --> 01:29:17,062 - I'll meet him anytime, anywhere. - Sorry. There's nothing I can do. 1106 01:29:17,166 --> 01:29:20,067 Please. I can't cancel. It's a huge opportunity. 1107 01:29:20,169 --> 01:29:23,332 Take my advice: don't cancel. 1108 01:29:26,608 --> 01:29:28,872 Thank you. 1109 01:29:43,358 --> 01:29:46,418 - Come along, Nattie. - Hello, darling! 1110 01:29:46,862 --> 01:29:49,854 - Shouldn't you cover your shoulders? - No! I'm fine. 1111 01:29:50,032 --> 01:29:52,432 - Good evening, Mr Lundy. - Good evening. 1112 01:29:52,501 --> 01:29:56,369 Oh, God. Here we go. 1113 01:29:56,438 --> 01:29:59,168 - Mrs Doubtfire, you look wonderful. - Thank you. 1114 01:29:59,241 --> 01:30:01,300 Come on. I hope you're all hungry. 1115 01:30:06,281 --> 01:30:09,444 - Good evening, Mr Lundy. - I'm meeting someone. Is he here? 1116 01:30:10,319 --> 01:30:12,412 No, I'm sorry. He hasn't arrived yet. 1117 01:30:12,488 --> 01:30:15,286 But we can seat you. Smoking or non-smoking? 1118 01:30:15,390 --> 01:30:17,881 Non-smoking, please. 1119 01:30:17,993 --> 01:30:21,986 - Tanya will seat you. Table 15. - This way, please. 1120 01:30:23,098 --> 01:30:26,192 - Reservation. Dunmeyer. - Yes, sir. 1121 01:30:26,869 --> 01:30:29,030 - Smoking or non-smoking? - Non-smoking. 1122 01:30:29,104 --> 01:30:32,005 - Smoking! - Mrs Doubtfire, you don't smoke. 1123 01:30:32,074 --> 01:30:34,508 No, I don't. But I did. 1124 01:30:34,610 --> 01:30:39,638 I found the best way to keep from smoking again is to be around those who do smoke. 1125 01:30:39,748 --> 01:30:44,447 I have to randomly ingest just a little bit of nicotine and it steels my wool. 1126 01:30:44,520 --> 01:30:48,547 And I know you're Mr Health. Bless you for putting yourself in harm's way. 1127 01:30:48,657 --> 01:30:52,354 - Smoking. - All right. Table 39. 1128 01:30:52,461 --> 01:30:55,624 - Follow me, please. - 39! My age! You're a saint. 1129 01:30:56,365 --> 01:30:59,300 Thank you very much for humouring an old lady. 1130 01:31:09,378 --> 01:31:12,108 - He's pissed already. - Mrs Doubtfire? 1131 01:31:13,248 --> 01:31:17,582 - Would you like to join us? - Oh. I thought I saw Clint Eastwood. 1132 01:31:17,686 --> 01:31:21,349 That would make my day! He is such a stud-muffin. 1133 01:31:21,456 --> 01:31:24,516 Will you excuse me, dear? I have to check my wrap. 1134 01:31:24,593 --> 01:31:28,290 - I can do it for you. - Oh, no, please. I'm quite capable of... 1135 01:31:28,363 --> 01:31:31,662 All right, dear. There you go. 1136 01:31:31,733 --> 01:31:34,531 - Oh, and your bag too, ma'am. - Drop it! 1137 01:31:34,603 --> 01:31:37,595 Oh, I'm very sorry, dear. It's my medicine. 1138 01:31:37,706 --> 01:31:41,142 - I have to go take my medicine now. - We have water at the table. 1139 01:31:41,209 --> 01:31:44,975 I can't take it orally, dear. I'll be right back. 1140 01:31:45,080 --> 01:31:49,483 - Would you like something to drink? - Oh, yes. A good stiff Chardonnay. 1141 01:31:49,551 --> 01:31:51,712 I like 'em light and woody. 1142 01:32:01,496 --> 01:32:05,489 - Hello. Bridges Restaurant. May I help you? - Yes. My name is Daniel Hillard. 1143 01:32:05,567 --> 01:32:11,301 Mr Lundy is expecting me for dinner. Will you tell him I'm running late, but I'm on my way? 1144 01:32:11,373 --> 01:32:15,036 - I'll deliver the message personally, sir. - Thank you. 1145 01:32:23,452 --> 01:32:25,647 Oh, Stu! 1146 01:32:25,754 --> 01:32:27,619 I hope you like it. 1147 01:32:27,723 --> 01:32:30,453 It's gorgeous! Thank you! 1148 01:32:31,460 --> 01:32:33,360 Did I miss anything? 1149 01:32:34,363 --> 01:32:38,322 Well, yes. Look. This is the gift that Stu gave me for my birthday. 1150 01:32:40,202 --> 01:32:42,261 - Isn�t it gorgeous! - Is it real? 1151 01:32:42,371 --> 01:32:44,430 It is very real, Mrs Doubtfire. 1152 01:32:44,539 --> 01:32:49,670 You can either wear that or feed a small country. That's so nice. So decadent. 1153 01:32:49,778 --> 01:32:51,837 Mommy, I need to go. 1154 01:32:53,482 --> 01:32:56,417 - Mrs Doubtfire, would you take her? - No. You. 1155 01:32:56,852 --> 01:33:00,253 - She wants you, dear. - Well, I'll be right back. 1156 01:33:00,355 --> 01:33:01,481 OK. 1157 01:33:06,395 --> 01:33:08,454 Yes, well... 1158 01:33:08,563 --> 01:33:12,158 Children, look at that lovely dessert tray over there. 1159 01:33:12,234 --> 01:33:16,694 Why don't you go over and pick what you'd like now so they could reserve it? 1160 01:33:16,805 --> 01:33:18,864 - We'll be back. - All right. 1161 01:33:20,976 --> 01:33:24,002 That's a pretty impressive bauble you got her. 1162 01:33:24,079 --> 01:33:26,172 Oh, thank you. Thank you. 1163 01:33:26,248 --> 01:33:30,878 A fella gives a gift like that, he wants more than a piece of her heart, eh? 1164 01:33:31,019 --> 01:33:33,487 Bit of a going-down payment, huh? 1165 01:33:33,588 --> 01:33:37,251 - Excuse me? - You know, dear. Sink the sub. 1166 01:33:37,325 --> 01:33:39,657 Hide the weasel? Park the porpoise? 1167 01:33:39,728 --> 01:33:41,821 Bit of the old humpty dumpty? 1168 01:33:41,897 --> 01:33:46,800 - Little Jack Horny? The horizontal mambo? - Mrs Doubtfire... 1169 01:33:46,868 --> 01:33:50,201 The bone dance, eh? Rumpleforeskin? Baloney bop? 1170 01:33:50,272 --> 01:33:52,797 Bit of the old cunning linguistics? Hm? 1171 01:33:52,874 --> 01:33:56,742 - Mrs Doubtfire, please. - Am I being a little graphic? Sorry. 1172 01:33:58,013 --> 01:34:01,312 - I hope you're up for a little competition. - I beg your pardon? 1173 01:34:01,416 --> 01:34:07,116 She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. It's her personal jackhammer. 1174 01:34:07,222 --> 01:34:10,658 She uses it and the lights dim. It's like a prison movie. 1175 01:34:10,726 --> 01:34:13,854 Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth. 1176 01:34:15,530 --> 01:34:17,623 I hope you bring cocktail sauce. 1177 01:34:18,633 --> 01:34:21,466 She's got crabs. And I don't mean Dungeness. 1178 01:34:22,270 --> 01:34:24,932 I'm being blunt as a spoon, aren't I? 1179 01:34:25,507 --> 01:34:27,566 Forgive me. 1180 01:34:32,981 --> 01:34:35,848 It's the wine. Oh, gosh! 1181 01:34:35,917 --> 01:34:39,444 Be back in a flash. All right? My tiny bladder. 1182 01:34:43,291 --> 01:34:45,350 - Mrs Doubtfire! - What?! 1183 01:34:45,660 --> 01:34:49,528 - You're going into the men's room. - No! Oh, so it is! 1184 01:34:49,598 --> 01:34:53,398 I do need new glasses, dear. Sorry! 1185 01:34:56,304 --> 01:34:58,363 Hello! 1186 01:35:27,836 --> 01:35:29,736 Jesus! God! 1187 01:35:41,983 --> 01:35:45,009 - Excuse me. May I have a menu? - Of course. 1188 01:35:47,622 --> 01:35:50,591 - What's France like? - Very beautiful. 1189 01:35:53,662 --> 01:35:55,755 Thank you very much. 1190 01:35:57,132 --> 01:35:58,861 - Mr Lundy. - Oh, hi. 1191 01:35:58,967 --> 01:36:02,562 - Sorry I'm late. Did you get my message? - Yes. Sit down. 1192 01:36:02,637 --> 01:36:05,800 - How about a drink? - Sure. I'll have what he's having. 1193 01:36:05,874 --> 01:36:07,865 Double Chivas on the rocks. 1194 01:36:07,976 --> 01:36:11,412 Bring him two doubles so he can catch up. 1195 01:36:11,479 --> 01:36:16,678 - A Scotch drinker, huh? That's my kinda guy! - Gentlemen, start your engines. 1196 01:36:21,423 --> 01:36:26,451 - OK, everybody. Are we ready to order? - Yes, I believe we are. Children, fire away. 1197 01:36:26,561 --> 01:36:28,961 Shouldn't we wait for Mrs Doubtfire? 1198 01:36:29,998 --> 01:36:32,057 Yes. 1199 01:36:43,111 --> 01:36:45,477 - How are we doin' over here? - No, no. 1200 01:36:45,580 --> 01:36:47,639 Oh, yes. 1201 01:36:52,287 --> 01:36:54,380 Now... 1202 01:36:55,423 --> 01:36:58,256 What can you do to help the ratings on the kid show? 1203 01:36:58,326 --> 01:37:01,921 Bottom line: don't patronize kids. They're little people. 1204 01:37:02,030 --> 01:37:07,195 You gotta personalize it. Make it fun. If it's something you'd enjoy, they'd enjoy it. 1205 01:37:07,302 --> 01:37:09,862 - That's what I'm interested in. - Bingo! 1206 01:37:09,938 --> 01:37:12,930 Well, I wonder what's happened to Mrs Doubtfire. 1207 01:37:13,041 --> 01:37:16,909 - We could cross over to the news. - Would you excuse me for a moment? 1208 01:37:17,012 --> 01:37:18,673 But... 1209 01:37:48,977 --> 01:37:52,674 - May I help you, ma'am? - Yes, dear. Thank you very much. 1210 01:37:55,116 --> 01:37:59,382 - Oh, my goodness! - I'm so sorry! It's my fault. 1211 01:38:01,690 --> 01:38:04,784 - Forgive me. Excuse me. - I'm all right. There we go. 1212 01:38:04,893 --> 01:38:07,191 Thank you. Oh, let's see here! 1213 01:38:07,295 --> 01:38:09,388 - May I take your order, ma'am? - Oh, yes. 1214 01:38:12,133 --> 01:38:16,695 Let's see. I'll have the poached salmon. 1215 01:38:16,771 --> 01:38:19,399 - And you, sir? - I'll have the jambalaya. 1216 01:38:19,507 --> 01:38:23,671 - Make mine not spicy. I'm allergic to pepper. - Certainly, sir. 1217 01:38:23,745 --> 01:38:25,804 Thank you. Cheers. Your health. 1218 01:38:36,825 --> 01:38:38,759 Oh, my God. 1219 01:38:38,827 --> 01:38:42,991 So sorry about that. Just one moment. 1220 01:38:43,098 --> 01:38:45,157 Carpe dentum - seize the teeth. 1221 01:38:45,233 --> 01:38:47,167 Let me assist you. 1222 01:38:47,235 --> 01:38:51,035 A spoon. Oh, how clever. Wait. I've got it. 1223 01:38:51,139 --> 01:38:53,369 Wait. There. Make a pincer. 1224 01:38:53,508 --> 01:38:56,534 Come at it from both sides. Together - up. 1225 01:38:58,113 --> 01:39:00,172 Thank you. There it is. 1226 01:39:01,449 --> 01:39:03,747 Just shake them off, like a dog. 1227 01:39:03,818 --> 01:39:05,911 Sorry. Oh, forgive me. 1228 01:39:05,987 --> 01:39:08,854 - That's all right. - Sorry about my spray. 1229 01:39:10,058 --> 01:39:14,256 I'll be right back. I just have to re-attach them with a little adhesive. 1230 01:39:14,362 --> 01:39:17,820 - Tell him to pur�e the salmon, if you will. - Pur�e the salmon. 1231 01:39:17,932 --> 01:39:20,400 Thank you. Sorry about that. 1232 01:39:27,208 --> 01:39:29,073 Oh, that one. 1233 01:39:33,948 --> 01:39:37,884 Oh. I didn't know there was someone else in here. Sorry. 1234 01:39:44,292 --> 01:39:47,022 Damn it! Oh, there it is. 1235 01:39:49,631 --> 01:39:51,690 Excuse me. 1236 01:40:13,088 --> 01:40:17,252 Where the hell have you been? I ordered you another Scotch. 1237 01:40:17,325 --> 01:40:19,259 Bully! 1238 01:40:24,499 --> 01:40:26,592 Daniel? 1239 01:40:27,235 --> 01:40:29,294 Are you wearing ladies' perfume? 1240 01:40:32,006 --> 01:40:34,065 Yes, I am. 1241 01:40:36,678 --> 01:40:39,203 Are you wearing lipstick? 1242 01:40:41,082 --> 01:40:42,447 Yeah. 1243 01:40:43,618 --> 01:40:45,677 Why? 1244 01:40:46,054 --> 01:40:49,217 - It rubbed off. - From whom? 1245 01:40:51,226 --> 01:40:53,660 A girl I used to date. She's a waitress. 1246 01:40:53,962 --> 01:40:56,055 - A waitress? Here? - Oh, yeah. 1247 01:40:56,865 --> 01:41:01,165 On the way to the bathroom... Couldn't keep her hands off me. 1248 01:41:03,438 --> 01:41:06,771 - You dog! - You scallywag! 1249 01:41:10,912 --> 01:41:14,678 I got the stretch outside. Does your girlfriend have a girlfriend? 1250 01:41:14,749 --> 01:41:17,445 - Hey, it's the '90s. - No, no! I mean... 1251 01:41:18,520 --> 01:41:21,250 Does she have a lady friend for me? 1252 01:41:21,489 --> 01:41:23,548 - Go ahead. Ask her. - I'll go ask her. 1253 01:41:23,691 --> 01:41:26,990 Go on. Come on, go get 'em! 1254 01:41:34,102 --> 01:41:35,967 Hey, Dan! 1255 01:41:36,070 --> 01:41:38,129 I need my order for table 39! 1256 01:41:38,206 --> 01:41:41,505 - Relax. I'll be out in a minute. - Thank you! Great. 1257 01:41:47,549 --> 01:41:49,983 39. 1258 01:42:01,429 --> 01:42:03,522 Table 39! 1259 01:42:19,914 --> 01:42:21,575 Hot jambalaya! 1260 01:42:33,595 --> 01:42:36,029 - Can I help you, ma'am? - Sorry I'm late. 1261 01:42:36,130 --> 01:42:40,260 But after all those Scotches I had to piss like a racehorse. 1262 01:42:42,337 --> 01:42:44,396 - Daniel? - Yeah. 1263 01:42:46,040 --> 01:42:49,441 Why in God's name are you dressed like a woman?! 1264 01:42:54,449 --> 01:42:56,542 Oh, damn. 1265 01:43:02,991 --> 01:43:05,050 Well... 1266 01:43:07,595 --> 01:43:10,655 I'd like you to meet the host of your new show. 1267 01:43:10,999 --> 01:43:13,024 Host? 1268 01:43:13,101 --> 01:43:19,631 Euphegenia Doubtfire, dear. I specialize in the education and entertainment of children. 1269 01:43:22,110 --> 01:43:24,203 Surprise! 1270 01:43:27,248 --> 01:43:29,182 Oh, thank you very much. 1271 01:43:29,250 --> 01:43:32,219 - This looks terrific. - Where's Mrs Doubtfire? 1272 01:43:32,287 --> 01:43:34,517 Well, I hope the dear lady's all right. 1273 01:43:34,622 --> 01:43:38,490 - Shall we start? - Yes. Let's start. I don't want it to get cold. 1274 01:43:40,895 --> 01:43:44,092 Tell me. Why would Mrs Doubtfire be a good host? 1275 01:43:44,198 --> 01:43:49,226 I'm a hip old granny who could hip-hop, bebop, dance till ya drop, 1276 01:43:49,304 --> 01:43:52,432 and yo, yo, make a wicked cup of cocoa. 1277 01:44:06,754 --> 01:44:08,881 Stu? 1278 01:44:10,658 --> 01:44:13,684 Oh, he's choking. He's choking! 1279 01:44:13,761 --> 01:44:17,128 Help us! Somebody help! He's choking! Help us! 1280 01:44:17,231 --> 01:44:19,426 Oh, God! Oh, God! 1281 01:44:19,500 --> 01:44:23,266 - He's choking here! Call 911! - Oh, no. I killed the bastard. 1282 01:44:23,338 --> 01:44:27,365 - Mrs Doubtfire! Help us! He's choking! - Help is on the way, dear! 1283 01:44:27,475 --> 01:44:30,501 - Mrs Doubtfire! - Help is on the way! 1284 01:44:30,578 --> 01:44:33,638 - Mrs Doubtfire, he's choking! - Hold on, dear. 1285 01:44:37,118 --> 01:44:40,554 One more time, dear. Work with me! 1286 01:44:40,655 --> 01:44:42,987 Come on! 1287 01:45:01,275 --> 01:45:03,505 I'm all right. 1288 01:45:03,578 --> 01:45:05,603 - Are you all right? - Yes. 1289 01:45:05,713 --> 01:45:08,204 Almost lost ya. 1290 01:45:13,354 --> 01:45:16,187 - Dad. - Oh, my... 1291 01:45:18,359 --> 01:45:20,623 Daddy? 1292 01:45:25,366 --> 01:45:27,493 Yeah, honey. It's me. 1293 01:45:29,804 --> 01:45:32,398 Happy birthday. 1294 01:45:34,208 --> 01:45:35,607 Daniel... 1295 01:45:35,710 --> 01:45:37,837 Daniel! Oh, my God! 1296 01:45:38,212 --> 01:45:40,942 Oh, my God! 1297 01:45:41,048 --> 01:45:43,141 The whole time... 1298 01:45:43,217 --> 01:45:45,777 - The whole time?! - I'm sorry, Miranda. Please? 1299 01:45:45,853 --> 01:45:49,619 Don't talk to me! Don't touch me! 1300 01:45:49,724 --> 01:45:52,852 I have to go. We have to leave now. I have to leave! 1301 01:45:52,960 --> 01:45:55,793 We have to leave now! I have to go! We're going. 1302 01:45:58,800 --> 01:46:01,064 - You guys go. - I'm sorry, Dad. 1303 01:46:02,403 --> 01:46:04,462 Bye. 1304 01:46:05,473 --> 01:46:07,566 Sorry about the pepper. I was... 1305 01:46:19,153 --> 01:46:21,553 What are you lookin' at? Show's over. 1306 01:46:27,462 --> 01:46:31,398 Miss Robeson, do you have any closing remarks? 1307 01:46:31,466 --> 01:46:33,559 Nothing further, Your Honour. 1308 01:46:34,402 --> 01:46:38,805 Mr Hillard, since you've determined to act as your own attorney, 1309 01:46:38,873 --> 01:46:42,673 you are entitled to make a closing statement at this time. 1310 01:46:52,687 --> 01:46:57,681 Your Honour, in the past two months, I've secured a residence, refurbished it 1311 01:46:57,792 --> 01:47:01,728 and made it ''an environment fit for children''. Those are your words. 1312 01:47:02,330 --> 01:47:07,632 I'm also holding down a job as a shipping clerk. So I believe I met your requirements. 1313 01:47:07,702 --> 01:47:09,795 Ahead of schedule. 1314 01:47:10,905 --> 01:47:13,339 In regards to my behaviour, 1315 01:47:13,441 --> 01:47:15,500 I can only plead insanity. 1316 01:47:15,610 --> 01:47:18,238 Because, ever since my children were born, 1317 01:47:18,312 --> 01:47:21,611 the moment I looked at them, I was crazy about them. 1318 01:47:21,682 --> 01:47:24,207 Once I held them, I was hooked. 1319 01:47:25,620 --> 01:47:27,679 I'm addicted to my children, sir. 1320 01:47:28,556 --> 01:47:30,649 I love them with all my heart. 1321 01:47:30,725 --> 01:47:35,856 And the idea of someone telling me I can't be with them, I can't see them every day... 1322 01:47:35,930 --> 01:47:38,660 It's like someone saying I can't have air. 1323 01:47:38,733 --> 01:47:42,294 I can't live without air, and I can't live without them. 1324 01:47:42,737 --> 01:47:48,437 Listen, I would do anything. I just want to be with them. I know I need that, sir. 1325 01:47:48,776 --> 01:47:51,301 We have a history. 1326 01:47:52,246 --> 01:47:57,479 And I just... They mean everything to me. And they need me as much as I need them. 1327 01:47:59,720 --> 01:48:01,312 So, please. 1328 01:48:01,389 --> 01:48:03,687 Don't take my kids away from me. 1329 01:48:09,463 --> 01:48:11,522 Thank you. 1330 01:48:20,942 --> 01:48:23,001 Mr Hillard... 1331 01:48:23,110 --> 01:48:28,377 You've been able to fool a lot of people into believing that you're a 60-year-old woman. 1332 01:48:29,116 --> 01:48:31,175 No easy task. 1333 01:48:31,319 --> 01:48:37,519 And your little speech seemed to be very heartfelt and genuine. 1334 01:48:40,027 --> 01:48:46,489 But I believe it to be a terrific performance by a very gifted actor. Nothing more. 1335 01:48:46,567 --> 01:48:50,025 - No. It's not that. - The reality, Mr Hillard, 1336 01:48:50,638 --> 01:48:55,575 is that your lifestyle over the past month has been very unorthodox. 1337 01:48:56,043 --> 01:48:59,706 And I refuse to further subject three innocent children 1338 01:48:59,780 --> 01:49:04,046 to your peculiar and potentially harmful behaviour. 1339 01:49:04,151 --> 01:49:07,848 It is this court's decision to award full custody to Mrs Hillard. 1340 01:49:07,955 --> 01:49:09,252 Oh, God, no. 1341 01:49:09,390 --> 01:49:12,917 You will have supervised visitation rights every Saturday. 1342 01:49:12,994 --> 01:49:14,552 Supervised, sir? 1343 01:49:14,629 --> 01:49:18,827 A court liaison will accompany you when you spend time with the children. 1344 01:49:18,933 --> 01:49:24,394 I am suggesting a period of psychological testing and perhaps treatment for you. 1345 01:49:25,573 --> 01:49:29,202 We will re-examine this case one year from now. 1346 01:49:29,276 --> 01:49:32,439 Thank you. Court is adjourned. 1347 01:49:45,993 --> 01:49:49,224 I don't do laundry. I don't do windows. I don't do carpets. 1348 01:49:49,296 --> 01:49:53,255 I don't do bathtubs. I don't do toilets. And I don't do diapers. 1349 01:49:53,401 --> 01:49:56,302 My children have been potty-trained for some time. 1350 01:49:56,437 --> 01:49:59,099 Well, I don't do washing. I don't do basements. 1351 01:49:59,206 --> 01:50:02,505 I don't do dinners. I don't do reading. 1352 01:50:05,880 --> 01:50:09,907 Yes. Well, we have your number. Thank you so much for coming. 1353 01:50:10,017 --> 01:50:12,611 - We'll be getting back to you. - Thank you. 1354 01:50:12,687 --> 01:50:14,780 I'll show you to the door. 1355 01:50:17,591 --> 01:50:20,458 Yes, here we are. Please... 1356 01:50:26,000 --> 01:50:29,299 Laura, that shipment has been delayed three times. 1357 01:50:29,437 --> 01:50:31,234 Yes, but... 1358 01:50:31,305 --> 01:50:34,672 Laura, I'm not gonna wait another six months for it. 1359 01:50:34,742 --> 01:50:36,835 You do that. Call me back. 1360 01:50:39,080 --> 01:50:42,208 Oh, guys, please don't be so depressed. 1361 01:50:42,516 --> 01:50:44,677 Everything's gonna be all right. 1362 01:50:44,752 --> 01:50:47,812 - I miss her spaghetti. - I miss her jokes. 1363 01:50:48,322 --> 01:50:50,222 I miss her stories. 1364 01:50:50,858 --> 01:50:55,022 Don't worry. We will find someone. There are plenty of people out there. 1365 01:50:55,096 --> 01:50:57,064 Nobody like her. 1366 01:50:58,866 --> 01:51:03,633 All right. I admit things were a lot nicer when she was around. 1367 01:51:03,704 --> 01:51:08,903 The house was so warm and cosy, the beds were always made, and the dinner was... 1368 01:51:08,976 --> 01:51:13,845 She isn't real! We have to stop referring to her as if she were a real person. 1369 01:51:13,914 --> 01:51:16,849 Hello, my dears! 1370 01:51:17,952 --> 01:51:20,648 We have a wonderful show today. 1371 01:51:20,721 --> 01:51:23,781 We have Mr Van Zandt from the Sierra Club, 1372 01:51:23,891 --> 01:51:28,191 and he`s going to bring some animals that are endangered species. 1373 01:51:28,295 --> 01:51:31,958 - Do you know what that means, poppets? - Did you say ``puppet``? 1374 01:51:32,066 --> 01:51:35,797 Oh, no, dear! It`s Kovacs! Welcome, Kovacs! 1375 01:51:35,903 --> 01:51:39,202 Hi, guys. Did you say ``extinction``? Does something stink? 1376 01:51:39,306 --> 01:51:45,108 It`s not something smelling bad. Extinction means there`s no more of a particular animal. 1377 01:51:45,179 --> 01:51:47,909 - Oh, my God. - Doesn`t that make you a little mad? 1378 01:51:47,982 --> 01:51:50,007 - Very mad! - Tell people about it. 1379 01:51:50,117 --> 01:51:55,077 I`m mad! You know why? Because next, it`s the chimps! There are fewer chimps... 1380 01:51:55,156 --> 01:51:58,751 Doesn`t it make you mad that humans play your parts in movies? 1381 01:51:58,826 --> 01:52:04,890 Ooh! ``Planet of the Apes``: who gets the role? Roddy McDowall! I`d be better than that! 1382 01:52:04,965 --> 01:52:09,163 - I`d be better than Charlton Heston! - And your rug is better, too. 1383 01:52:09,236 --> 01:52:12,228 You could fly to Persia on that rug. 1384 01:52:25,452 --> 01:52:29,218 - Shall we tell them where we'll be tomorrow? - Yeah. They wanna know. 1385 01:52:29,323 --> 01:52:32,349 Tomorrow, poppets, we're taking a wonderful trip. 1386 01:52:32,426 --> 01:52:35,987 But you don't have to pack because we're going in our mind. 1387 01:52:36,063 --> 01:52:41,194 We're going across the Atlantic Ocean to England, where I came from. 1388 01:52:41,268 --> 01:52:44,135 - You came from England? - It's a wonderful country. 1389 01:52:44,205 --> 01:52:46,730 - Do you know about England? - It's an island. 1390 01:52:46,807 --> 01:52:49,207 It's an island, dear. A glorious one. 1391 01:52:49,276 --> 01:52:53,838 - They have a queen and a royal family. - Oh! Just like a poker game! 1392 01:52:53,948 --> 01:52:57,076 - It's a full house. - Some cards don't live at home any more. 1393 01:52:57,184 --> 01:52:59,277 Thanks to mobile phones. 1394 01:53:00,154 --> 01:53:02,748 Do you know what language they speak in England? 1395 01:53:02,823 --> 01:53:06,782 - Pakistani? - That's right. In many stores they do. 1396 01:53:06,861 --> 01:53:09,694 But we'll get into that tomorrow, boys and girls. 1397 01:53:09,797 --> 01:53:12,664 - You owe me a kiss, Kovacs. - I'm gonna give you two. 1398 01:53:12,766 --> 01:53:15,234 - All right, dear. - Here's one on the cheek. 1399 01:53:15,302 --> 01:53:20,171 - And here's a monkey bite! - Oh, you wicked, wicked monkey! 1400 01:53:20,808 --> 01:53:24,437 Well, that's all for today. Bye-bye. 1401 01:53:24,511 --> 01:53:26,411 Cut! 1402 01:53:27,448 --> 01:53:30,178 That's a wrap, folks! Thank you very much. 1403 01:53:34,521 --> 01:53:38,651 We're a smash! Number one in our time slot! 1404 01:53:38,792 --> 01:53:42,489 Yes! Calls from Detroit, Cleveland, Chicago, Los Angeles... 1405 01:53:42,596 --> 01:53:45,656 - All with offers to syndicate. - Hollywood! 1406 01:53:45,799 --> 01:53:47,926 Daniel? 1407 01:53:48,035 --> 01:53:49,434 Yes? 1408 01:53:49,503 --> 01:53:53,872 - Miranda. - Could I talk to you? 1409 01:53:55,643 --> 01:53:57,235 Yeah. 1410 01:53:57,311 --> 01:53:59,905 I'll be right out. Just wait here. 1411 01:54:22,102 --> 01:54:24,570 Welcome to Euphegenia's house. 1412 01:54:24,672 --> 01:54:28,073 A little draughty but... you know. It's nice. 1413 01:54:30,878 --> 01:54:32,937 What can I do for you? 1414 01:54:34,648 --> 01:54:37,310 First of all, congratulations on the show. 1415 01:54:37,384 --> 01:54:40,376 Thanks. You got to see the dress rehearsal. 1416 01:54:41,722 --> 01:54:44,247 We've... The kids... 1417 01:54:45,192 --> 01:54:47,854 We've been watching every day. 1418 01:54:48,996 --> 01:54:52,295 It's nice to know they can see me every day. 1419 01:54:54,902 --> 01:54:59,601 Look, Daniel. I know it's gonna take a long time to get over all the fights and 1420 01:54:59,707 --> 01:55:03,336 all the horrible things we said to each other. 1421 01:55:03,410 --> 01:55:05,878 It's... It's so hard. 1422 01:55:07,548 --> 01:55:11,985 But I know somehow you and I will be all right and we'll get through this. 1423 01:55:14,555 --> 01:55:16,989 But the kids... 1424 01:55:19,593 --> 01:55:21,686 I don't wanna hurt our children. 1425 01:55:24,398 --> 01:55:26,491 So what do you want me to do? 1426 01:55:26,567 --> 01:55:31,334 You want me to pretend everything's all right? Put on a happy face? Smile? 1427 01:55:32,573 --> 01:55:35,736 Jesus, Miranda. You took my children away from me. 1428 01:55:35,809 --> 01:55:38,209 I can only see them now with supervision. 1429 01:55:38,312 --> 01:55:42,214 Some woman watches me with the kids like I'm some sort of deviant. 1430 01:55:42,316 --> 01:55:46,013 If I try to hug 'em, she wonders why. You know what that's like? 1431 01:55:46,420 --> 01:55:51,414 You just sat there in that courtroom and let that judge pass that despicable sentence. 1432 01:55:51,525 --> 01:55:53,925 - I was angry. - Oh, God. 1433 01:55:53,994 --> 01:55:56,588 - You hurt me, too! - You ripped my heart out! 1434 01:55:56,663 --> 01:56:00,258 You lied... You know what? I don't wanna do this anymore. 1435 01:56:00,367 --> 01:56:03,393 I don't wanna do any more ''who did what to whom''. 1436 01:56:06,607 --> 01:56:10,236 Ever since this happened, I've been trying to make sense out of it. 1437 01:56:10,344 --> 01:56:14,337 And the only thing I know in my heart is that the children were happier 1438 01:56:14,415 --> 01:56:17,213 when Mrs Doubtfire was a part of their lives. 1439 01:56:17,284 --> 01:56:18,808 Yeah? 1440 01:56:19,820 --> 01:56:23,483 She... brought out the best in them. 1441 01:56:24,425 --> 01:56:28,225 - She brought out the best in you. - And you. 1442 01:56:33,434 --> 01:56:35,868 They miss her terribly. 1443 01:56:38,038 --> 01:56:41,906 - What are you saying? - Daniel, the kids need you. 1444 01:56:50,584 --> 01:56:52,643 I need them. 1445 01:56:59,393 --> 01:57:02,794 Well, tomorrow we`ll have Frank, who is a make-up artist. 1446 01:57:04,298 --> 01:57:06,289 A big knock at the door. 1447 01:57:06,400 --> 01:57:09,631 Who could that be? And do we have enough time? 1448 01:57:10,504 --> 01:57:13,029 Mr Sprinkles, boys and girls! 1449 01:57:13,107 --> 01:57:15,507 Hello! What do you have for me today? 1450 01:57:15,609 --> 01:57:18,908 Mrs Doubtflier, I`ve got a letter from Katie... 1451 01:57:21,248 --> 01:57:23,307 It's the new baby-sitter. 1452 01:57:24,318 --> 01:57:26,616 Come on, guys! Get up! Let's go! 1453 01:57:28,922 --> 01:57:31,049 Come on. 1454 01:57:31,859 --> 01:57:34,157 It's gonna be all right. 1455 01:57:34,261 --> 01:57:36,923 Chris, wait right over there. Everybody. 1456 01:57:48,375 --> 01:57:50,468 Daddy! 1457 01:57:52,479 --> 01:57:54,242 Hi. 1458 01:57:55,149 --> 01:57:58,949 - What's goin' on? - I'm here to pick you up. 1459 01:57:59,319 --> 01:58:03,187 Your dad's gonna take you for a few hours every day after school. 1460 01:58:03,790 --> 01:58:05,883 Really? 1461 01:58:06,360 --> 01:58:08,851 What about the courts? That legal stuff. 1462 01:58:09,396 --> 01:58:12,160 - Ask your mom. - I took care of it. 1463 01:58:12,799 --> 01:58:16,667 No more supervised visits. No more court liaison. 1464 01:58:16,737 --> 01:58:19,729 - Just us? - Just us. 1465 01:58:31,185 --> 01:58:33,278 Go get Mr Bear. 1466 01:58:33,620 --> 01:58:36,612 - Go get your stuff. Hurry up. - All right. 1467 01:58:41,161 --> 01:58:44,597 - Would you like to come in? - I'll wait outside. 1468 01:58:44,698 --> 01:58:46,165 OK. 1469 01:58:49,403 --> 01:58:51,496 Thank you. 1470 01:58:56,577 --> 01:58:58,010 See ya. 1471 01:59:02,783 --> 01:59:08,187 ``Dear Mrs Doubtfire - Two months ago my mom and dad decided to separate.`` 1472 01:59:08,255 --> 01:59:10,416 ``Now they live in different houses.`` 1473 01:59:10,824 --> 01:59:16,126 ``My brother Andrew says that we aren`t a real family any more. Is this true?`` 1474 01:59:16,230 --> 01:59:18,323 ``Did I lose my family?`` 1475 01:59:18,398 --> 01:59:22,664 ``Is there anything I could do to get my parents back together?`` 1476 01:59:22,769 --> 01:59:24,828 ``Sincerely, Katie McCormick.`` 1477 01:59:27,774 --> 01:59:29,833 Oh, my dear Katie. 1478 01:59:31,378 --> 01:59:36,782 You know, some parents get along much better when they don`t live together. 1479 01:59:36,850 --> 01:59:40,650 They don`t fight all the time and they can become better people. 1480 01:59:40,754 --> 01:59:43,780 Much better mommies and daddies for you. 1481 01:59:43,857 --> 01:59:46,985 And sometimes they get back together. 1482 01:59:47,995 --> 01:59:50,054 And sometimes they don`t, dear. 1483 01:59:50,797 --> 01:59:52,856 And if they don`t, 1484 01:59:52,966 --> 01:59:55,560 don`t blame yourself. 1485 01:59:55,636 --> 02:00:00,505 Just because they don`t love each other doesn`t mean that they don`t love you. 1486 02:00:01,908 --> 02:00:05,435 There are all sorts of different families, Katie. 1487 02:00:05,512 --> 02:00:09,676 Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy, 1488 02:00:09,783 --> 02:00:11,842 or two families. 1489 02:00:11,918 --> 02:00:14,614 Some children live with their uncle or aunt. 1490 02:00:14,688 --> 02:00:19,716 Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents. 1491 02:00:19,826 --> 02:00:22,852 Some live in separate homes and neighbourhoods 1492 02:00:22,929 --> 02:00:25,022 in different areas of the country. 1493 02:00:25,098 --> 02:00:31,037 They may not see each other for days, weeks, months or even years at a time. 1494 02:00:32,539 --> 02:00:34,632 But if there`s love, dear, 1495 02:00:36,043 --> 02:00:38,534 those are the ties that bind. 1496 02:00:39,346 --> 02:00:42,838 And you`ll have a family in your heart for ever. 1497 02:00:45,052 --> 02:00:47,486 All my love to you, poppet. 1498 02:00:47,554 --> 02:00:49,647 You`re going to be all right. 1499 02:00:51,958 --> 02:00:54,051 Bye-bye.