1 00:01:16,693 --> 00:01:18,558 Give it to me straight. 2 00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:21,020 Virginal bride, or... 3 00:01:21,197 --> 00:01:22,960 ...slut in white? 4 00:01:23,133 --> 00:01:25,226 He is so lucky. 5 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,841 You okay in there? 6 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:40,540 I feel sick. 7 00:01:40,717 --> 00:01:42,344 Oh. 8 00:01:43,052 --> 00:01:45,020 You're getting nervous. 9 00:01:45,722 --> 00:01:48,782 You remember last year when Jesse and I broke up for a couple of weeks... 10 00:01:48,958 --> 00:01:52,416 ...and, uh, I thought she spent those two weeks in bed... 11 00:01:52,595 --> 00:01:54,187 ...sad and depressed? 12 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:57,162 - Yeah. - This morning she tells me... 13 00:01:57,333 --> 00:02:00,769 ...out of the blue that she spent one of those weeks in bed with Jake Lee. 14 00:02:01,337 --> 00:02:04,238 - What did you do? - Nothing. 15 00:02:04,941 --> 00:02:09,002 Good. That's good. So, what's wrong? 16 00:02:09,179 --> 00:02:11,306 She slept with Jake Lee. 17 00:02:11,481 --> 00:02:13,210 She slept with him for like a week. 18 00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:17,777 How am I supposed to live with that? What if all this is a mistake? 19 00:02:17,987 --> 00:02:19,750 Come on, you would've known that by now. 20 00:02:19,923 --> 00:02:22,983 - Am I overreacting? - Yes, you are. 21 00:02:23,159 --> 00:02:25,423 Come on, man, it's not like she actually cheated. 22 00:02:25,595 --> 00:02:28,155 I mean, you know, you had broken up. 23 00:02:28,531 --> 00:02:29,725 Right. 24 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,633 What would you do? 25 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,530 I'd be happy, man. 26 00:02:35,772 --> 00:02:38,900 I mean, it's Jesse. Everyone you know wants Jesse. 27 00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:42,044 - What do you mean by that? - I didn't-- I didn't-- 28 00:02:42,512 --> 00:02:45,340 I didn't mean it like that. I just, uh.... 29 00:02:45,882 --> 00:02:49,113 Look, you wanted this, right? 30 00:02:49,285 --> 00:02:53,415 So, pull yourself together, go out there and get married. 31 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,130 Ed? 32 00:03:07,303 --> 00:03:08,998 Mr. Allen. 33 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:12,574 You caught me reminiscing. A lot of memories here. 34 00:03:12,742 --> 00:03:14,175 Buy you a drink? 35 00:03:14,344 --> 00:03:16,575 Oh, I'd love to, Frank, but I'm kind of-- 36 00:03:16,675 --> 00:03:17,905 I'm in a bit of a rush. 37 00:03:18,081 --> 00:03:19,343 I insist. 38 00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:21,713 After all, it is the traditional function... 39 00:03:21,813 --> 00:03:22,979 of the father of the bride. 40 00:03:23,152 --> 00:03:24,312 What is? 41 00:03:24,487 --> 00:03:26,352 Keeping the groom away from back exits. 42 00:03:26,522 --> 00:03:30,720 No, I was just gonna go outside, get some air. 43 00:03:30,894 --> 00:03:33,522 Your best tequila, on the rocks. Come over here a second. 44 00:03:33,696 --> 00:03:36,062 It's tequila, right? Uh, none for me, thanks. 45 00:03:36,232 --> 00:03:38,063 That's great. He'll have a double. 46 00:03:38,234 --> 00:03:40,862 You know, I realize that you don't know me very well, Ed. 47 00:03:41,037 --> 00:03:44,006 You and Jesse down at school, my wife and I here, but trust me... 48 00:03:44,173 --> 00:03:45,231 ...you can talk to me. 49 00:03:45,942 --> 00:03:48,410 Nothing really to talk about, sir. 50 00:03:48,745 --> 00:03:50,042 Doubts? 51 00:03:50,213 --> 00:03:53,239 No, no. No doubts. Uh, no doubt in my mind. 52 00:03:53,416 --> 00:03:56,579 I'm totally doubt-free. I'm, uh-- I'm doubtless. 53 00:03:56,753 --> 00:03:58,345 Yeah. 54 00:03:58,922 --> 00:04:01,220 I'll tell you what. 55 00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:05,325 Why don't we make a little list, shall we? 56 00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,554 Let's start with doubt number one. 57 00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:09,197 Uh, none. 58 00:04:09,365 --> 00:04:12,823 No, I promise. None. Uh, number one is "none." 59 00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:15,937 Oh, come on, we can do better than that. 60 00:04:16,105 --> 00:04:17,868 What about that thing with Jake Lee? 61 00:04:20,109 --> 00:04:23,010 - She told you that? - Two weeks, last year. 62 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:24,840 Two weeks? She told me a week. 63 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:29,383 One, two, most of Lent, that's hardly the point. 64 00:04:29,552 --> 00:04:31,713 That's not why you're eyeing the exit. 65 00:04:31,888 --> 00:04:33,981 Jake Lee's an excuse. 66 00:04:34,991 --> 00:04:37,255 Tell me something, Ed. 67 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,453 Do you love her? 68 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,431 Yeah, of course I do. 69 00:04:43,599 --> 00:04:45,863 Then maybe, just maybe, you're wondering... 70 00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:48,196 ...why it isn't pure and constant. 71 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:51,738 Why all of these ups and downs. Conviction, then doubt? 72 00:04:51,908 --> 00:04:54,775 How can something that feels so right one moment... 73 00:04:54,944 --> 00:04:57,538 ...make you so queasy the next? 74 00:04:59,449 --> 00:05:00,780 Relax. 75 00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:03,009 Life is a mess. 76 00:05:03,753 --> 00:05:08,781 All you have to do is choose to love her the best way that you know how. 77 00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:10,058 You know, 78 00:05:10,158 --> 00:05:11,959 I've really gotta get out of here. Um.... 79 00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:14,119 Thank you for the advice and the drink-- 80 00:05:14,297 --> 00:05:17,289 You know, I've had a marriage of ups and downs. 81 00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:22,928 Dazzling extremes. Perhaps you've never heard the full account? 82 00:05:23,106 --> 00:05:26,303 Frankly, Frank, another time. 83 00:05:26,476 --> 00:05:29,104 - Maybe Christmas? - Not really a Christmas story. 84 00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:34,007 Tell you what. 85 00:05:34,183 --> 00:05:36,083 One says "walk." 86 00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,914 And the other says "talk." 87 00:05:39,355 --> 00:05:41,516 Pick one. You choose. 88 00:05:41,691 --> 00:05:44,990 Pick the one that says "walk" and you'll be free of me. 89 00:05:45,161 --> 00:05:48,528 Pick the one that says "talk" and, well.... 90 00:05:50,566 --> 00:05:51,794 You're kidding, right? 91 00:05:53,369 --> 00:05:54,461 No. 92 00:06:06,349 --> 00:06:10,873 I get the feeling sometimes, Mr. Allen, 93 00:06:11,085 --> 00:06:12,452 that you don't like me very much. 94 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,556 I like Jake Lee. 95 00:06:15,191 --> 00:06:17,625 But my daughter loves you. 96 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,785 Which means you have a great capacity to hurt her. 97 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:22,954 And you've never done a damn thing to prove to me that you won't. 98 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:26,465 Like I said, my marriage... 99 00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:29,460 ...has been one of extremes. 100 00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:33,302 Certainty and doubt. Deceit and truth. 101 00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:36,240 But it started with truth. 102 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:40,039 And it started right here in this hotel. 103 00:06:40,216 --> 00:06:42,650 In this very room. 104 00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:59,190 - Hey! - Hey. 105 00:06:59,368 --> 00:07:00,835 - How you doing, man? - Good. 106 00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,028 - Resolutions, huh? - Yeah. 107 00:07:03,206 --> 00:07:04,867 I always make mine on December 29th. 108 00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:08,442 That way I only have 48 hours to feel bummed about not keeping them. 109 00:07:08,611 --> 00:07:10,704 - Cheers. - Cheers. 110 00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:13,474 Hey, have you seen Susan yet? 111 00:07:13,649 --> 00:07:16,209 Uh, no, she's always late. Have you seen her lately? 112 00:07:16,385 --> 00:07:18,717 No, not since Teddy's party last week. 113 00:07:18,888 --> 00:07:20,355 Teddy had a party? 114 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,013 - Yeah. - Yeah. 115 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:25,285 - Was she there with anyone, or, uh...? - No, not really. 116 00:07:25,461 --> 00:07:28,555 Oh. Which is it? "Not" or, uh, "really"? 117 00:07:28,731 --> 00:07:30,722 It's hard to say. 118 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,372 Careful, Frank, she'll leave nothing but your bones. 119 00:08:08,271 --> 00:08:09,465 - Cheers. - Cheers. 120 00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:11,766 - Amen. - Amen. 121 00:08:11,941 --> 00:08:15,104 All right, okay. Resolutions, who's got one? 122 00:08:15,278 --> 00:08:18,247 - Sherri? - Thank you. Take off five pounds. 123 00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:20,143 - Oh, come on. - Take it off now. 124 00:08:20,316 --> 00:08:24,082 - Your turn, Frank. - Okay. I, uh.... 125 00:08:24,353 --> 00:08:28,084 I resolve to be bolder. 126 00:08:29,992 --> 00:08:32,460 What a dick. God. 127 00:08:32,628 --> 00:08:35,859 Well, I resolve to fall in love. 128 00:08:36,032 --> 00:08:37,032 Okay. 129 00:08:37,132 --> 00:08:38,762 This is getting a little kinky now, kids. 130 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,802 - That's pretty ambitious. - I am almost holding your hand. 131 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,378 Okay, next, next. Who, who? 132 00:08:50,546 --> 00:08:52,446 - Come on, Susan. - Okay, okay. Uh, um.... 133 00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:57,746 I resolve to buy a motorcycle. A red Harley. 134 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:01,321 Nice. Nothing nicer or sexier than a chick on a hog. 135 00:09:01,490 --> 00:09:03,481 I resolve to stop you from doing that. 136 00:09:03,659 --> 00:09:05,718 Why? Don't you like motorcycles or something? 137 00:09:05,895 --> 00:09:09,228 It's just that 95 percent of riders get injured in the first six months. 138 00:09:09,398 --> 00:09:11,127 - Here we go. - You memorized the stats? 139 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,461 And 55 percent of riders get seriously injured. 140 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:14,967 But it gets better than that. 141 00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:18,004 Do you know what doctors call riders that don't wear a helmet? 142 00:09:18,174 --> 00:09:19,300 - No, tell us. - Sexy. 143 00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:21,340 Organ donors. 144 00:09:21,510 --> 00:09:22,977 Organ donors. Yeah. 145 00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:25,705 Just, look, promise me that you'll always wear a helmet. 146 00:09:25,881 --> 00:09:27,626 Somebody take the pole out of his ass. 147 00:09:27,726 --> 00:09:29,612 Frank, come on, you gotta loosen up, man. 148 00:09:29,785 --> 00:09:32,515 - You take the pole. - Okay, so I have another resolution. 149 00:09:32,688 --> 00:09:35,122 - An even better one, I think. - It better be better. 150 00:09:35,291 --> 00:09:37,020 - Does anyone wanna hear it? - Come on. 151 00:09:37,193 --> 00:09:41,630 Okay. So, um, I resolve to... 152 00:09:41,797 --> 00:09:42,821 ...find a husband. 153 00:09:43,032 --> 00:09:45,899 - What? - Yeah. I'm afraid so. It's true. 154 00:09:46,068 --> 00:09:51,734 And, um, uh, I've decided to pick from my friends. 155 00:09:51,907 --> 00:09:56,276 You know, I don't wanna marry a stranger or anything. So, um.... 156 00:09:56,979 --> 00:09:59,470 - Who wants to be my husband? - I do. 157 00:09:59,649 --> 00:10:00,809 - I'll do it. - Me, me, me. 158 00:10:00,983 --> 00:10:04,544 Shit. Oh, God. How will I ever choose? 159 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,712 - By size. By size, boys. - By size of what, exactly? 160 00:10:07,890 --> 00:10:10,916 - Whatever pleases you the most. - I don't like guesswork, Buddy. 161 00:10:11,093 --> 00:10:14,688 - There won't be any guesswork involved. - You just keep Mr. Ed in your pants. 162 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:17,458 Oh, my God. That's actually what you call it. Mr. Ed? 163 00:10:17,633 --> 00:10:20,101 - That's charming. - Wait, that's it. That's perfect. 164 00:10:20,269 --> 00:10:22,216 What could be more revealing about a man? 165 00:10:22,316 --> 00:10:23,727 Best nickname for your dick... 166 00:10:25,141 --> 00:10:26,870 ...becomes my husband. 167 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,068 Right. Okay, so who's first? Come on. 168 00:10:29,245 --> 00:10:31,611 Ken, what do you got for me? 169 00:10:31,781 --> 00:10:33,248 Come on, baby. 170 00:10:33,416 --> 00:10:36,010 Is it too hard of a question for you or something? 171 00:10:36,185 --> 00:10:38,449 - Uh, okay. - What's her name? 172 00:10:38,621 --> 00:10:41,215 I call him... 173 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:44,052 ...Squeaky the Bald-Headed Mouse. 174 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,660 - Oh, my God, you don't. - Because he likes holes. 175 00:10:46,829 --> 00:10:49,627 - Are you serious? - There's an animal theme going on here. 176 00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:52,063 - Buddy? Come on. - You already know, come on. 177 00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,963 What? 178 00:10:54,370 --> 00:10:56,770 It's Master of the Universe, Defender of our Galaxy. 179 00:10:56,939 --> 00:10:58,930 Oh, shit, man. 180 00:10:59,108 --> 00:11:01,076 Couldn't it be "God Almighty" or something? 181 00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:04,644 - Uh, well, that's my tongue, actually. Oh, God. Whatever. 182 00:11:04,814 --> 00:11:07,681 - Okay, Frank? - Truth. 183 00:11:07,850 --> 00:11:10,148 - Yeah, come on, spit it out. - The truth. 184 00:11:10,319 --> 00:11:13,083 That's-- That's what I call it. 185 00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:14,950 Truth. 186 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:18,951 I'm sorry it's not a farm animal. I'm sorry. 187 00:11:19,128 --> 00:11:21,323 - You should be. - Ten, nine... 188 00:11:21,497 --> 00:11:24,898 ...eight, seven, six, five... 189 00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:28,594 ...four, three, two, one. 190 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:31,103 Happy New Year! 191 00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:33,639 It was always gonna be you. 192 00:12:02,971 --> 00:12:04,029 Daddy. 193 00:12:04,206 --> 00:12:06,401 - What is that? - It's your daughter. 194 00:12:06,575 --> 00:12:08,236 No. 195 00:12:08,911 --> 00:12:11,505 I don't have a daughter this early. 196 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:14,274 - Whatever's there, kill it. - Hurry. 197 00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:16,543 - It's wide awake. - We're gonna miss the sun. 198 00:12:16,719 --> 00:12:19,119 Okay, okay, okay. I'm going, I'm going. 199 00:12:19,288 --> 00:12:20,915 Go away. 200 00:12:21,090 --> 00:12:23,320 - Hurry, Daddy. - Let's let Mommy sleep. 201 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,719 - Hurry. - Okay. 202 00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:28,830 Come on. 203 00:12:32,435 --> 00:12:35,268 Okay, okay, okay. 204 00:12:40,075 --> 00:12:41,599 Ready? 205 00:12:50,085 --> 00:12:51,609 To give a good speech. 206 00:12:51,787 --> 00:12:53,379 Your turn. 207 00:13:01,597 --> 00:13:02,723 Nice writing. 208 00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:08,029 I wish, I wish, upon the sun, that my wish is number one. 209 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:09,466 And what did you wish for? 210 00:13:09,638 --> 00:13:12,573 That Mary Ross will get hit by a truck. 211 00:13:12,741 --> 00:13:16,768 Well, that's not very nice. I thought Mary was your best friend. 212 00:13:17,146 --> 00:13:20,138 - I divorced her. - You can't divorce a friend. 213 00:13:20,316 --> 00:13:24,116 - Why not? - Because divorce is for married people. 214 00:13:24,286 --> 00:13:27,585 That's okay. As long as a truck hits her. 215 00:13:29,959 --> 00:13:31,586 All right, killer, come on. 216 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,785 - Let's go dogpile Mommy. - Yay. 217 00:13:33,963 --> 00:13:37,660 Shoot. Hey, Monster, have you seen my morning list? 218 00:13:41,770 --> 00:13:44,068 You need a list to keep track of your lists. 219 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,231 Oh, thank you. 220 00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:48,501 No, honey, that's all sugar and food coloring. 221 00:13:48,677 --> 00:13:51,145 You've had enough. Go get dressed. 222 00:13:51,313 --> 00:13:54,407 "Conscious". Is it "sc" or "cs"? Stop right there. 223 00:13:55,484 --> 00:13:58,248 Come and give me a kiss, please. I got a big lecture today. 224 00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,394 I'll be home in the morning. I love you. 225 00:14:00,494 --> 00:14:01,480 I love you, too, Dad. 226 00:14:01,657 --> 00:14:03,022 All right. 227 00:14:04,226 --> 00:14:06,126 Don't forget to return the movies. 228 00:14:06,829 --> 00:14:08,524 - Movies? - Mm-hm. 229 00:14:08,697 --> 00:14:11,962 No, no, no. I can't. 230 00:14:12,635 --> 00:14:15,001 Would you, um, do it if it was on that list? 231 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,005 - Of course I would. - Give me your pen. 232 00:14:18,673 --> 00:14:20,835 - No, I don't have time. - It's on your way. 233 00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:22,722 I can't be late for the ferry, so.... 234 00:14:22,822 --> 00:14:24,673 What time do you have to leave the house? 235 00:14:24,847 --> 00:14:27,816 - Eighteen after. - Eighteen after is not a time. 236 00:14:27,983 --> 00:14:33,717 - It's a symptom. It's like a twitch. - Well, you used to find it adorable. 237 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:37,889 Yeah, well, I used to pound J�germeister. 238 00:14:39,428 --> 00:14:41,225 Anyway, you won't be late. 239 00:14:41,397 --> 00:14:43,456 - Yes, I will. - No, you won't. 240 00:14:48,037 --> 00:14:49,061 - You didn't. - I did. 241 00:14:49,238 --> 00:14:50,238 Oh, shit. 242 00:14:50,338 --> 00:14:52,833 What? I've given you an extra ten minutes. 243 00:14:53,008 --> 00:14:55,189 No, you didn't. You set it the wrong way. 244 00:14:55,289 --> 00:14:57,035 You've given me ten minutes less. 245 00:14:57,212 --> 00:14:58,873 Oh, shit. 246 00:14:59,048 --> 00:15:00,948 - I'm sure you'll be fine. - Yeah. 247 00:15:01,116 --> 00:15:02,481 Bye. 248 00:15:02,885 --> 00:15:04,785 You forgot the movies. 249 00:15:13,596 --> 00:15:15,655 - Hello? - Hey, it's Buddy. Is Frank there? 250 00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:18,095 - He just left. - I might be late. 251 00:15:18,267 --> 00:15:21,566 - So might he. - Frank? I don't think that's possible. 252 00:15:21,737 --> 00:15:24,297 Don't drag him into anything unsavory tonight. 253 00:15:24,473 --> 00:15:26,304 What do you consider unsavory? 254 00:15:26,475 --> 00:15:29,103 Anything that might lead to a rash. 255 00:15:29,278 --> 00:15:30,973 - What are you wearing? - Buddy. 256 00:15:31,146 --> 00:15:34,707 - Come on. - I'm naked, Buddy. 257 00:15:36,151 --> 00:15:37,846 Thank you. 258 00:15:40,456 --> 00:15:42,151 We're okay. 259 00:15:42,324 --> 00:15:44,451 We're okay. No, no, no. 260 00:15:44,627 --> 00:15:47,391 Come on. No, no, no, you're kidding me. 261 00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:55,400 Please, please, please. No, no. Check the time. I'm right here, please. 262 00:15:55,571 --> 00:15:56,592 Hey, congratulations. 263 00:15:56,692 --> 00:15:58,734 You'll be the first one on the next boat. 264 00:15:58,907 --> 00:16:02,104 God, come on. Look, sir, please, I'm begging you right now. 265 00:16:02,277 --> 00:16:05,075 There's plenty of room on the ferry. Just let me drive it on. 266 00:16:05,247 --> 00:16:09,877 Please. I beg you, I have a speech. My wife, the movies-- 267 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:12,953 Next boat leaves in an hour. This boat leaves at eight o'clock. 268 00:16:13,122 --> 00:16:16,091 Oh, look at that, it's eight o'clock. 269 00:16:16,925 --> 00:16:19,519 Next boat, pal. Schedule to keep, you know. 270 00:16:26,969 --> 00:16:29,028 The relationship between time and you... 271 00:16:29,204 --> 00:16:32,105 ...is always one of master and slave. 272 00:16:35,210 --> 00:16:37,178 List-making. 273 00:16:37,346 --> 00:16:41,180 It is your anchor, your harbor in the storm of life. 274 00:16:41,350 --> 00:16:43,580 Start each morning with your wish for the day. 275 00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:46,186 And then move right on into your daily goal list. 276 00:16:46,355 --> 00:16:49,791 And remember to keep them in behavioral terms, and to be specific. 277 00:16:49,958 --> 00:16:52,859 Why? Because a specific list... 278 00:16:54,897 --> 00:16:56,125 ...is a happy list. 279 00:16:58,634 --> 00:17:01,000 And don't forget, it's chaos out there. 280 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:04,831 And we conquer that by taking control, setting priorities. 281 00:17:05,007 --> 00:17:06,634 Life cannot be based on whim. 282 00:17:07,076 --> 00:17:09,510 Those who fail to control whim... 283 00:17:09,678 --> 00:17:13,136 ...are destined to be controlled by it. 284 00:17:13,315 --> 00:17:14,976 Thank you. 285 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,721 Hey, back in the city. 286 00:17:27,896 --> 00:17:29,363 - Good to see you, man. - Yeah. 287 00:17:29,531 --> 00:17:32,295 Excellent talk, by the way. That was truly inspirational. 288 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,265 I saw you come in. 289 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:37,234 Yeah. My old man wasn't through busting my ass... 290 00:17:37,406 --> 00:17:39,237 ...for being late on the Bethnal job. 291 00:17:39,408 --> 00:17:42,468 Do you have any idea how many windows are in a building that size? 292 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,908 I don't know. Fifty? 293 00:17:46,115 --> 00:17:47,912 Something wrong in Camp Frank? 294 00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:49,311 No. 295 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,749 - What? - It's a little complicated, that's all. 296 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,465 That's all right. No, that's okay. 297 00:17:53,565 --> 00:17:55,720 I like knowing your life isn't totally perfect. 298 00:17:55,891 --> 00:17:58,018 - Okay, look. You know this talk today? - Yeah. 299 00:17:58,193 --> 00:18:00,855 It's a big break for me in the corporate lecture circuit. 300 00:18:01,029 --> 00:18:04,692 Susan. Susan. She knows how important this is to me. 301 00:18:04,867 --> 00:18:07,062 She knows how nervous I get before a talk... 302 00:18:07,236 --> 00:18:09,727 ...yet she doesn't say anything, not a word, you know. 303 00:18:09,905 --> 00:18:12,430 Instead, she gets all over me about my schedule. 304 00:18:12,608 --> 00:18:14,940 She sets the clocks forward to give me more time... 305 00:18:15,110 --> 00:18:17,977 ...only she gives me less time and I end up missing the ferry. 306 00:18:18,147 --> 00:18:20,877 Now, do you have any idea how embarrassing it is... 307 00:18:21,049 --> 00:18:24,541 ...to show up late to a lecture on the efficient use of time? 308 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,450 - She actually set the clock forward? - Actually set the clock forward. 309 00:18:28,423 --> 00:18:31,616 - Oh, man, that's good. - Yeah, it's very funny. 310 00:18:31,794 --> 00:18:34,285 Come on, man. She's just trying to unwind you a bit. 311 00:18:34,463 --> 00:18:38,297 I'm not a clock. I'm not wound. Stop saying that. 312 00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:41,800 Look, not everything in your life needs to be ordered, Frank. 313 00:18:41,970 --> 00:18:45,098 You know, if you don't take any chances, you never try anything new. 314 00:18:45,274 --> 00:18:48,107 That's not true. Yeah, I take plenty of chances. 315 00:18:48,277 --> 00:18:50,372 Great. Let's ask those chicks if they want... 316 00:18:50,472 --> 00:18:52,043 to go play some blackjack with us. 317 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,045 - That's not taking a chance. - Why not? 318 00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:55,410 - Because. - Because? 319 00:18:56,351 --> 00:18:58,615 Because everybody knows... 320 00:18:58,787 --> 00:19:00,781 ...that the house advantage for blackjack... 321 00:19:00,881 --> 00:19:01,881 is 5.9 percent. 322 00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:04,685 And that doesn't make sense. 323 00:19:05,928 --> 00:19:07,896 - Five point nine percent, huh? - Yeah. 324 00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:11,260 - I thought we were hanging out. - Yeah, we just did, and it was fun. 325 00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:15,028 But if you're not gonna take a chance, then there's two of them and one of me. 326 00:19:15,204 --> 00:19:17,138 I like those odds. 327 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:21,100 Hi, ladies. That's my friend Frank over there. 328 00:20:00,048 --> 00:20:04,007 I was at your lecture today. It's not bad. 329 00:20:04,186 --> 00:20:05,585 Thank you. Ha. 330 00:20:05,754 --> 00:20:08,882 My boss forced me to read your book, The Ten Minute-- 331 00:20:09,057 --> 00:20:10,888 - It's five. - What? 332 00:20:11,059 --> 00:20:13,994 - The Five Minute Efficiency Trainer. - Oh, right. Five. 333 00:20:14,162 --> 00:20:17,723 - It worked. It totally worked. - Really? 334 00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:21,700 I didn't expect that. Usually my boss is an idiot. So-- 335 00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:24,668 - It was amazing. I mean, I make lists. - That's great. 336 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:29,300 - They're color-coded. It's-- - Yeah. It gets the life on track. 337 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,912 - Am I gushing? - I have no idea. 338 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,548 I'm Paula. Paula Crowe. 339 00:20:34,716 --> 00:20:37,211 I'm Frank. Frank Allen. Nice to meet you. 340 00:20:37,311 --> 00:20:38,311 You too. 341 00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:45,085 Would you like to try something a little bit different, Mr. Frank Allen? 342 00:20:45,260 --> 00:20:46,818 Well, uh.... 343 00:20:48,463 --> 00:20:52,991 You know, uh, yeah. Yes, I would actually. 344 00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:54,328 - Yeah? - Yep. 345 00:20:57,906 --> 00:21:00,773 Two Tangerinis, please. 346 00:21:03,712 --> 00:21:08,149 You know, you're very brave to be able to talk in front of so many people. 347 00:21:08,317 --> 00:21:11,445 Mm. No. I, uh-- 348 00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:14,646 Every night before I give a talk, I get this nightmare... 349 00:21:14,823 --> 00:21:19,658 ...that I'm giving a huge lecture and suddenly I notice that I'm naked. 350 00:21:22,230 --> 00:21:26,667 Anyway. When I'm actually giving the talk for real, I reverse it. 351 00:21:26,835 --> 00:21:28,806 I pretend that everyone in the audience... 352 00:21:28,906 --> 00:21:30,828 is naked. That helps me breathe a little. 353 00:21:31,006 --> 00:21:32,974 After today's crowd, I may reconsider that. 354 00:21:40,782 --> 00:21:41,976 Frank? 355 00:21:42,150 --> 00:21:44,286 Can I ask you a big favor? 356 00:21:45,754 --> 00:21:48,917 I, uh, really, really have to go tinkle. 357 00:21:49,091 --> 00:21:53,653 And I have this phobia about public restrooms. 358 00:21:53,829 --> 00:21:56,662 - Would you--? - I have the same phobia. 359 00:21:56,832 --> 00:21:59,096 - All my life. All my life. - Ha-ha-ha. Right? 360 00:21:59,267 --> 00:22:03,704 Would you mind terribly if I use the bathroom in your room? 361 00:22:06,208 --> 00:22:07,641 You're funny. 362 00:22:17,152 --> 00:22:18,983 - Oops. - Check, please. 363 00:22:28,830 --> 00:22:30,593 - Frank? - Yo. 364 00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:33,963 You know when you said that you imagined everyone in the audience naked? 365 00:22:34,136 --> 00:22:36,331 Oh, what's this? 366 00:22:36,505 --> 00:22:40,498 Does that mean that you imagined me naked? 367 00:22:41,276 --> 00:22:45,576 Yeah, married. Uh, going on eight years now. Yeah. 368 00:22:45,747 --> 00:22:47,146 How did I look? 369 00:22:47,315 --> 00:22:50,478 Uh, just one. Jesse, she's, uh, great. 370 00:22:50,652 --> 00:22:55,487 We're talking about another one though, so.... Whoo. 371 00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:59,122 - This good? - Hoo. 372 00:22:59,294 --> 00:23:01,956 Uh, wow. I'm gonna have some juice or something. 373 00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:05,497 I made my daily goal list for today. 374 00:23:05,667 --> 00:23:09,159 - It's very specific. - Yeah. Well, specific-- 375 00:23:09,337 --> 00:23:12,170 Because it's chaos out there and you conquer it... 376 00:23:12,340 --> 00:23:15,537 ...by setting priorities and taking control. 377 00:23:15,710 --> 00:23:18,838 Well, these aren't instant gratification priorities-- 378 00:23:19,047 --> 00:23:21,572 Yeah. We, uh-- There's a system to it. 379 00:23:23,218 --> 00:23:26,984 Oh, I'm gonna get that. Yep, yep, yep. Let me get that. 380 00:23:27,155 --> 00:23:29,521 - Hello? - Hey. 381 00:23:29,691 --> 00:23:31,158 Hey. 382 00:23:31,326 --> 00:23:34,090 I'm sorry about this morning. How did the talk go? 383 00:23:34,262 --> 00:23:37,163 Oh, uh, score one for the good guys. I aced it. 384 00:23:39,568 --> 00:23:40,660 What was that? 385 00:23:43,071 --> 00:23:48,065 Uh, nothing. I think, uh, I have no idea. So-- 386 00:23:48,343 --> 00:23:50,208 - Are you all right? - I'm fine, baby. 387 00:23:50,378 --> 00:23:53,040 I'm just so exhausted right now... 388 00:23:53,215 --> 00:23:56,275 ...and I love you, and I'm gonna see you tomorrow, okay? All right? 389 00:23:56,451 --> 00:24:00,012 - Okay, okay. - Love you too. 390 00:24:02,124 --> 00:24:05,093 You should've seen your face. 391 00:24:05,260 --> 00:24:09,959 The way you squirmed, like a squashed little snake. 392 00:24:10,132 --> 00:24:11,929 - I love married men. - Oh, my God. 393 00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:15,228 Come here. How about the five more minutes of efficiency? 394 00:24:15,403 --> 00:24:17,966 I don't feel well. I have a wife and a kid. 395 00:24:18,066 --> 00:24:19,066 I gotta go home. 396 00:24:19,241 --> 00:24:23,678 Relax. It's too late to go anywhere. You missed the last ferry. 397 00:24:23,845 --> 00:24:27,840 I'll drive around the peninsula, it's fine. 398 00:24:27,940 --> 00:24:30,648 Well, that would take forever. 399 00:24:30,819 --> 00:24:32,719 - A waste of time. - Yeah. 400 00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:35,652 Remember that the relationship between time and you... 401 00:24:35,824 --> 00:24:40,261 -...is always one of master and slave. - Watch it, watch it, watch it. 402 00:24:40,428 --> 00:24:42,988 Look, I'm really, really sorry about this, okay? 403 00:24:43,165 --> 00:24:46,362 Use the room as long as you want. Nothing personal. Honest. 404 00:24:46,535 --> 00:24:48,435 I love my wife. 405 00:24:51,540 --> 00:24:52,632 Jerk. 406 00:25:01,216 --> 00:25:02,240 Hello? 407 00:25:03,485 --> 00:25:05,680 - Hello? - Hello? 408 00:25:06,621 --> 00:25:08,987 You're probably looking for Frank. 409 00:25:09,157 --> 00:25:12,854 He just left on a mission of great secrecy. Sorry. 410 00:25:40,555 --> 00:25:42,853 Pick a lane. God. 411 00:25:56,137 --> 00:25:57,401 Oh, God. 412 00:25:58,573 --> 00:26:00,537 Are you okay? Are you okay? 413 00:26:01,509 --> 00:26:04,842 Can you unlock the door? Can you--? 414 00:26:05,013 --> 00:26:07,538 Okay, what's wrong? Is it your head? You hit your head? 415 00:26:07,716 --> 00:26:10,082 What's wrong with your stomach? There's something-- 416 00:26:10,252 --> 00:26:11,514 You're having a baby! 417 00:26:13,021 --> 00:26:15,080 Fifteen minutes. We're gonna be there. 418 00:26:15,257 --> 00:26:18,249 We're gonna be at the hospital in 15 minutes! Just hang in there. 419 00:26:18,426 --> 00:26:21,418 - I'm Frank Allen. What's your name? - Nancy. 420 00:26:21,596 --> 00:26:24,656 Nancy. Okay, Nancy. You're doing great. Just keep breathing, okay? 421 00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:28,166 Breathe in, out, in, just think about how happy this child's gonna make you. 422 00:26:28,336 --> 00:26:30,770 I don't-- I don't want it. 423 00:26:30,939 --> 00:26:33,635 Well, my thought is that you're gonna have it. 424 00:26:33,808 --> 00:26:36,606 - So you know, just in, out. - You know what? 425 00:26:36,778 --> 00:26:39,110 - Breathe in. - I want you to have it. You take it. 426 00:26:39,281 --> 00:26:41,806 That's very generous of you, but no, thank you. 427 00:26:41,983 --> 00:26:45,851 No, thank you-- Okay, just hold it. Hold it! 428 00:26:46,354 --> 00:26:49,289 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just, come on, we're almost there. 429 00:26:49,457 --> 00:26:52,984 Oh, God! That's it, just keep breathing. Just-- 430 00:26:53,161 --> 00:26:56,961 Oh, it's just leaking everywhere. Okay. Just breathe. 431 00:27:00,635 --> 00:27:03,695 Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm gonna need some information. 432 00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:06,636 - Information on you and your wife. - No, she's not my wife. 433 00:27:06,808 --> 00:27:11,438 - Well, fill out what you can. - Okay. Lightheaded here. 434 00:27:22,791 --> 00:27:24,383 - Hello? - Good day. 435 00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:27,892 - May I speak with Mr. Allen, please? - No, Mr. Allen isn't home. 436 00:27:28,063 --> 00:27:30,623 Do you know where he is? It's very important. 437 00:27:30,799 --> 00:27:32,266 No, I don't. 438 00:27:32,434 --> 00:27:36,894 It seems that Mrs. Allen is no longer on the hospital premises. 439 00:27:37,072 --> 00:27:38,835 I'm Mrs. Allen. 440 00:27:39,007 --> 00:27:43,467 Mrs. Allen. You're in no condition to have left the hospital. 441 00:27:43,645 --> 00:27:46,273 Post-childbirth can be a very serious condition. 442 00:27:46,448 --> 00:27:47,642 Post what? 443 00:27:47,816 --> 00:27:51,217 - Your baby needs you. - What baby? 444 00:27:51,386 --> 00:27:53,786 Do I have the right Allen? 445 00:27:54,723 --> 00:27:56,953 I'm-- I'm sorry. Who are you looking for? 446 00:27:57,125 --> 00:28:00,583 Frank Allen of 17 River Drive. 447 00:28:03,998 --> 00:28:05,659 Hello? 448 00:28:05,867 --> 00:28:08,836 Mrs. Allen? Hello? 449 00:28:20,014 --> 00:28:21,709 - Get out. - What? 450 00:28:22,117 --> 00:28:23,982 - I said, get out. - Why? What'd I do? 451 00:28:24,152 --> 00:28:26,455 - No, don't give me that. See, I know. 452 00:28:26,555 --> 00:28:29,112 I have no idea what you're talking about. 453 00:28:29,290 --> 00:28:30,382 - You're a liar. - Okay-- 454 00:28:30,558 --> 00:28:32,652 You're a liar! 455 00:28:33,828 --> 00:28:37,628 God! Okay, okay, listen, listen, listen, I made a small mistake. 456 00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:39,960 - Oh, God! - Wait! Susan! 457 00:28:40,135 --> 00:28:43,263 I didn't do anything really wrong! It was a professional flirtation! 458 00:28:43,438 --> 00:28:47,033 Is this what you've been getting up to all these dumb business trips of yours? 459 00:28:47,208 --> 00:28:50,336 She was a nobody! Yelling! Yelling! Yelling! 460 00:28:50,512 --> 00:28:52,241 - Okay! - Oh, God! 461 00:28:52,414 --> 00:28:55,406 All right, there was a small chaste-like kiss, more of a peck. 462 00:28:55,583 --> 00:28:59,349 - I've been up the whole night. - There was some tongue, not my tongue. 463 00:28:59,521 --> 00:29:02,422 - You've been boning some woman? - You called, and it was over. 464 00:29:02,590 --> 00:29:06,390 - Nothing happened! - How can you call a baby nothing? 465 00:29:06,561 --> 00:29:09,394 - What baby? - The baby at the hospital! 466 00:29:09,564 --> 00:29:12,624 - Oh, that baby. - Get out of my house! 467 00:29:12,801 --> 00:29:16,669 - Fuck off! - I deny everything, Susan! Susan? I-- 468 00:29:19,207 --> 00:29:20,900 This is absurd. You're a hospital. 469 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,267 How could you treat somebody... 470 00:29:22,444 --> 00:29:23,706 ...and not know who she is? 471 00:29:23,878 --> 00:29:28,508 We occasionally treat the patient before obtaining their social security number. 472 00:29:28,683 --> 00:29:30,510 And then you let them escape. 473 00:29:30,610 --> 00:29:33,313 Mr. Allen, this is a hospital, not a prison. 474 00:29:33,488 --> 00:29:36,753 We don't expect mothers to desert their babies. 475 00:29:43,431 --> 00:29:48,630 Okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry. You're absolutely right. 476 00:29:48,803 --> 00:29:51,499 Can you call my wife? Explain the misunderstanding... 477 00:29:51,673 --> 00:29:52,833 ...and I'll be on my way. 478 00:29:53,007 --> 00:29:55,475 - And tell her what? - Well, that the baby's not mine. 479 00:29:55,643 --> 00:29:58,976 - That I only met the mother last night. - I don't know that, Mr. Allen. 480 00:29:59,247 --> 00:30:02,239 Well, it's true. I drove them here, and that's it. 481 00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:04,308 Save it for your wife. 482 00:30:06,521 --> 00:30:08,785 Here's what Susan dropped off for you. 483 00:30:08,957 --> 00:30:11,755 Uh, what do you think I should do? 484 00:30:13,127 --> 00:30:16,119 Well, are you asking me as your friend or your lawyer? 485 00:30:16,297 --> 00:30:17,958 Friend. 486 00:30:18,132 --> 00:30:21,898 - Talk. Just talk to her. Be honest. - I've tried. I'm trying. 487 00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:26,336 She won't talk to me until I prove it's not my child. This is ridiculous. 488 00:30:27,041 --> 00:30:28,565 You don't remember the last name? 489 00:30:28,743 --> 00:30:30,370 - No. - No make on the car? 490 00:30:30,545 --> 00:30:31,637 No, it was dark. 491 00:30:31,813 --> 00:30:35,146 As your lawyer, if there's anything you wanna tell me... 492 00:30:35,316 --> 00:30:38,342 ...you know I'm sworn to hold it private and confidential. 493 00:30:42,323 --> 00:30:45,019 I didn't know her, Damon! 494 00:30:45,193 --> 00:30:46,913 Well. Without the mother's consent... 495 00:30:47,013 --> 00:30:48,924 you're gonna have to get a court order... 496 00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:51,327 ...for a DNA sample from the baby for a test. 497 00:30:51,499 --> 00:30:53,433 - How long? - Four months minimum. 498 00:30:53,601 --> 00:30:55,762 Oh, God. 499 00:30:57,305 --> 00:30:59,330 Look, stop worrying. 500 00:30:59,507 --> 00:31:03,307 If what you say is true, there's no way the mother, the hospital or the queen... 501 00:31:03,478 --> 00:31:05,878 ...could prove that child's yours in a court of law. 502 00:31:06,047 --> 00:31:09,676 I'm not worried about a court of law. I'm worried about the court of Susan. 503 00:31:09,851 --> 00:31:13,184 Susan, I demand that you listen to me. I refuse to be hung-- 504 00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:37,744 Honey, I'm begging you. 505 00:31:37,912 --> 00:31:38,936 I-- 506 00:31:55,763 --> 00:31:57,355 Monster, I love you. I-- 507 00:31:57,532 --> 00:31:59,830 - I love you too, Frank. - Ken? 508 00:32:00,101 --> 00:32:02,160 What are you doing over there? Where's Susan? 509 00:32:02,337 --> 00:32:03,895 She doesn't want to talk to you. 510 00:32:04,072 --> 00:32:06,267 - Put her on. - Frank, she went to the hospital. 511 00:32:06,441 --> 00:32:08,409 You're on the form as the father. 512 00:32:08,576 --> 00:32:11,374 - That's not true. - Whatever you say. 513 00:32:11,546 --> 00:32:12,638 I believe you. 514 00:32:12,814 --> 00:32:15,874 You just need to give Susan a little more time for your sake, okay? 515 00:32:17,185 --> 00:32:18,743 All right. 516 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,047 Hang in there, Frank. 517 00:32:21,522 --> 00:32:23,080 Yeah. 518 00:32:41,009 --> 00:32:44,945 You should be aware that results are rarely couched in yes-no responses. 519 00:32:45,113 --> 00:32:47,775 It just doesn't have the exactitude of DNA testing. 520 00:32:47,949 --> 00:32:50,346 The best is usually a statistical probability... 521 00:32:50,446 --> 00:32:52,181 with a significant margin of error. 522 00:32:52,353 --> 00:32:53,843 When can I expect results? 523 00:32:54,022 --> 00:32:56,582 Uh, four or five days. 524 00:32:56,758 --> 00:32:59,454 Now, for the fun part. 525 00:33:14,976 --> 00:33:18,173 - Bye, sweetie. See you later. - Bye. 526 00:33:18,346 --> 00:33:20,041 Uh, what's he doing here? 527 00:33:20,214 --> 00:33:21,545 Picking Jesse up. 528 00:33:21,716 --> 00:33:24,241 You're letting him see Jesse? 529 00:33:24,419 --> 00:33:26,546 He's still her father. 530 00:33:27,822 --> 00:33:30,188 Oh. Look at that. 531 00:33:30,358 --> 00:33:33,350 Big kiss, please. Okay. 532 00:33:34,362 --> 00:33:35,954 Daddy, when are you coming home? 533 00:33:36,130 --> 00:33:37,995 Hopefully in a few days, sweetie. 534 00:33:38,166 --> 00:33:40,634 How's Mommy? Did she get any of the messages I left? 535 00:33:40,802 --> 00:33:43,100 She called you a moral slob. 536 00:33:43,271 --> 00:33:44,863 Well, you know Mommy. 537 00:33:45,039 --> 00:33:49,669 Sometimes she gets upset for no good reason at all. 538 00:33:49,844 --> 00:33:53,007 - Like cleaning my room? - Exactly. 539 00:33:53,181 --> 00:33:55,479 She gets awfully mad when I don't clean my room. 540 00:33:55,650 --> 00:33:57,550 It's just like cleaning your room. 541 00:33:57,719 --> 00:33:59,584 So we're both slobs. 542 00:33:59,754 --> 00:34:02,587 I guess so. Yeah. 543 00:34:04,258 --> 00:34:07,250 Does that make me a bigamist too? 544 00:34:08,162 --> 00:34:10,187 Mommy. 545 00:34:19,674 --> 00:34:21,801 What the hell is that? 546 00:34:21,976 --> 00:34:24,945 I'm calling him Abigail. 547 00:34:25,113 --> 00:34:28,708 Unbelievable. He's dressed you as a princess, and bought you vermin. 548 00:34:29,317 --> 00:34:31,785 He's the best daddy ever! 549 00:34:42,630 --> 00:34:44,097 Please. 550 00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:52,419 As far as your question of paternity goes, 551 00:34:52,519 --> 00:34:53,030 Mr. Allen... 552 00:34:53,207 --> 00:34:56,108 ...the tests prove 100 percent, without a fraction of doubt... 553 00:34:56,277 --> 00:34:58,040 ...that it is not your child. 554 00:34:58,212 --> 00:35:02,672 Yes! Proof! Proof. 555 00:35:02,850 --> 00:35:06,752 Yes, well, I checked the results twice. There's no question about it. 556 00:35:06,921 --> 00:35:09,389 You saved my life here. I'm just really excited. 557 00:35:09,557 --> 00:35:13,323 I was expecting some kind of completely ambiguous statistic here... 558 00:35:13,494 --> 00:35:16,327 ...so this is, ahh. 559 00:35:16,497 --> 00:35:21,935 Uh, no, it's actually quite simple. You have an extra X-chromosome. 560 00:35:22,737 --> 00:35:25,399 - No joke? - Yeah. 561 00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:27,534 What is that? 562 00:35:27,708 --> 00:35:30,973 Well, it's a condition called Klinefelter's Syndrome. 563 00:35:32,046 --> 00:35:35,243 Don't worry, it's harmless. Most men don't even know they have it... 564 00:35:35,883 --> 00:35:38,784 ...except for one of its manifestations. 565 00:35:40,655 --> 00:35:42,316 In what? What manifestation? 566 00:35:43,791 --> 00:35:45,088 Sterility. 567 00:35:46,961 --> 00:35:50,397 - Excuse me? - You've been sterile since birth. 568 00:35:52,867 --> 00:35:55,165 I don't understand. Uh.... 569 00:35:55,336 --> 00:35:58,328 It is impossible for you to have children. 570 00:36:04,445 --> 00:36:06,572 Uh.... 571 00:36:13,020 --> 00:36:15,607 You got the wrong guy, doc, because 572 00:36:15,707 --> 00:36:18,822 I have a little girl at home, and that.... 573 00:36:19,861 --> 00:36:21,226 I'm sorry. 574 00:36:22,163 --> 00:36:26,224 Okay, something's wrong here. I'm gonna sit down and just.... 575 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,766 Um, you have the wrong label, or wrong test. 576 00:36:28,936 --> 00:36:31,996 I mean, this is a hospital. These things happen here all the time. 577 00:36:32,173 --> 00:36:36,269 I-- I'm sorry to drop this on you. I know this isn't easy to accept. 578 00:36:36,444 --> 00:36:38,105 Hey. 579 00:36:38,279 --> 00:36:41,972 Come on, I'm a father. I have a little girl. 580 00:36:42,072 --> 00:36:44,149 A 7-year-old girl. Jesse. 581 00:36:44,318 --> 00:36:48,550 Unlike humans, chromosomes can't betray, deceive, or willfully lie. 582 00:36:48,723 --> 00:36:51,123 The truth is all they state. 583 00:36:51,926 --> 00:36:53,518 Um.... 584 00:37:01,636 --> 00:37:05,732 But, Jesse. I have a-- A little girl. 585 00:37:05,907 --> 00:37:09,570 I will, of course, take another sample, but I've run the test twice. 586 00:37:09,744 --> 00:37:12,770 I'm afraid, Mr. Allen, there's been no mistake. 587 00:38:44,372 --> 00:38:46,431 It's all been a lie, hasn't it? 588 00:38:46,607 --> 00:38:48,336 - You tell me. - I know. 589 00:38:48,509 --> 00:38:50,409 Oh, yeah? Well, I know, too! 590 00:38:50,578 --> 00:38:51,738 Hi, Daddy. 591 00:38:53,981 --> 00:38:58,315 Go to your room, sweetie. Daddy and I need to talk, okay? 592 00:39:27,515 --> 00:39:28,675 Uh, excuse me? 593 00:39:28,849 --> 00:39:31,909 I'm willing to bet ten bucks that you're naked under those clothes. 594 00:39:32,086 --> 00:39:33,951 Why don't you join me for a drink? 595 00:39:40,394 --> 00:39:42,624 Hey, buddy? I think you're sitting in my seat. 596 00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:44,928 I wanna sit next to the pretty girl here. 597 00:39:47,468 --> 00:39:50,232 Hey, pinhead, I'm talking to you. You're in my seat. 598 00:39:54,141 --> 00:39:56,268 You work the ferry? 599 00:39:56,444 --> 00:39:59,743 Yeah, so? Move your ass. 600 00:40:00,548 --> 00:40:03,381 If you'd let me on, I wouldn't have been late. 601 00:40:03,551 --> 00:40:05,712 I wouldn't have been so mad at Susan. 602 00:40:05,886 --> 00:40:08,116 I wouldn't have been so stupid. 603 00:40:09,356 --> 00:40:12,257 I wouldn't know the things that I know today. 604 00:40:12,426 --> 00:40:14,621 Do I know you or something? 605 00:40:15,996 --> 00:40:18,055 What time is it now? 606 00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:20,391 What? 607 00:40:23,671 --> 00:40:25,764 What time is it now? 608 00:40:25,940 --> 00:40:27,567 - Screw you. - What time is it? 609 00:40:27,741 --> 00:40:31,268 You want a piece of me, asshole? Let's take it outside. 610 00:41:22,229 --> 00:41:24,220 That felt good. 611 00:41:24,932 --> 00:41:27,526 Thank you for doing that. 612 00:41:50,991 --> 00:41:53,516 - What is your name? - Tracy. 613 00:42:17,318 --> 00:42:21,618 We're gonna be late again. Get your bag, sweetie. I'll be in the car, okay? 614 00:42:27,995 --> 00:42:30,725 - Can I help you? - Does Frank live here? 615 00:42:31,298 --> 00:42:33,357 He's not home. 616 00:42:34,235 --> 00:42:35,634 I'm his wife. 617 00:42:35,803 --> 00:42:38,897 Oh. Hi. I'm Nancy. 618 00:42:39,073 --> 00:42:40,700 I wanted to thank him. 619 00:42:43,177 --> 00:42:44,371 For what? 620 00:42:45,112 --> 00:42:47,012 All his help. 621 00:42:50,050 --> 00:42:51,108 Is that Frank's baby? 622 00:42:51,919 --> 00:42:53,716 Oh, no. 623 00:42:56,223 --> 00:43:00,990 Frank, it's me. Why won't you call me back? We need to talk. Please? 624 00:43:01,161 --> 00:43:02,856 Call me. 625 00:43:08,836 --> 00:43:10,086 Flat out on the floor. 626 00:43:10,186 --> 00:43:12,567 Then he gets so scared he takes off on his Harley-- 627 00:43:19,380 --> 00:43:21,348 - What's going on? - Um.... 628 00:43:23,450 --> 00:43:25,042 Um.... 629 00:43:25,219 --> 00:43:27,744 Let's, um, talk outside. 630 00:43:27,921 --> 00:43:29,411 Yeah. 631 00:43:36,664 --> 00:43:39,394 There are some rumors about Frank. Crazy stuff. 632 00:43:39,566 --> 00:43:41,504 Tom has a cousin who said his best friend... 633 00:43:41,604 --> 00:43:42,865 was at the River Shore Bar... 634 00:43:43,037 --> 00:43:45,870 ...when your husband got into a fight and shredded this big bruiser. 635 00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:49,271 - Frank? - Yes. And he bought a bitchen Harley. 636 00:43:49,777 --> 00:43:53,042 No, that's not Frank. That's just not possible. Somebody's confused. 637 00:43:53,213 --> 00:43:58,344 No. John's son works at the shop. Frank bought a Harley. A red one. 638 00:43:58,752 --> 00:44:01,346 - A red Harley? - Yes. 639 00:44:05,326 --> 00:44:07,055 Without me? 640 00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,228 Frank? 641 00:44:14,401 --> 00:44:17,234 Oh, I'm sorry. 642 00:44:17,404 --> 00:44:19,338 I'll leave a note. 643 00:45:04,952 --> 00:45:07,716 - I need to talk to you. - Oh, yeah? 644 00:45:07,888 --> 00:45:11,415 I found this in his hotel room. I'm worried. 645 00:45:11,592 --> 00:45:12,923 It's very succinct. 646 00:45:13,093 --> 00:45:15,584 I met the mother. She says it's not Frank's baby. 647 00:45:15,763 --> 00:45:17,924 Well, that's great. You can take Frank back. 648 00:45:18,098 --> 00:45:20,191 There was still a woman in his hotel room. 649 00:45:20,367 --> 00:45:23,996 Come on, give the boy a break. I mean, we all have urges. 650 00:45:24,171 --> 00:45:27,004 - You never look at the pool boy? - We don't own a pool. 651 00:45:27,174 --> 00:45:29,233 You don't need a pool for a pool boy. 652 00:45:29,410 --> 00:45:32,174 It's different. I never thought of Frank as duplicitous. 653 00:45:32,346 --> 00:45:34,678 - It's not Frank-ish. - No, it's not. 654 00:45:34,848 --> 00:45:36,543 It's not really his style. 655 00:45:36,717 --> 00:45:40,175 Buddy, stop it. I'm not this wanton creature you got floating around... 656 00:45:40,354 --> 00:45:43,016 -...in your sleazy little brain. - Really? 657 00:45:43,190 --> 00:45:45,750 I've had three men my whole life, okay? 658 00:45:47,094 --> 00:45:49,103 And this isn't about me, and it's damn sure... 659 00:45:49,203 --> 00:45:50,586 not about you. It's about Frank. 660 00:45:50,764 --> 00:45:53,028 Hey, come on. You know I'll do anything for Frank. 661 00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:57,193 Then find him and make sure he doesn't do anything dumb. 662 00:46:07,247 --> 00:46:09,977 FRANK: Hey. It's open. 663 00:46:10,250 --> 00:46:11,740 Hey. 664 00:46:11,985 --> 00:46:14,385 - Hey. - Are you trying to kill yourself? 665 00:46:14,588 --> 00:46:15,223 Well, obviously, 666 00:46:15,323 --> 00:46:17,113 but I think it's gonna take a little while. 667 00:46:17,891 --> 00:46:20,317 Good, because I bring happy news. 668 00:46:20,494 --> 00:46:22,621 Susan will take you back. 669 00:46:22,796 --> 00:46:24,730 A little begging may be required. 670 00:46:24,898 --> 00:46:27,162 What I do is send red roses every day for a week. 671 00:46:27,334 --> 00:46:29,332 By day five of the big red, she'll forgive... 672 00:46:29,432 --> 00:46:31,202 you three hookers and a missed birthday. 673 00:46:31,371 --> 00:46:32,998 I'm not going back. 674 00:46:33,173 --> 00:46:36,506 - I had a pretty major revelation, Buddy. - What? 675 00:46:36,677 --> 00:46:39,202 All the decisions I've made in my life have been wrong. 676 00:46:40,047 --> 00:46:43,346 - Everybody feels that way, come on. - No, it's true. 677 00:46:43,517 --> 00:46:46,850 I've always been so goddamn careful about every choice that I've made... 678 00:46:47,020 --> 00:46:49,147 ...and what the hell has it gotten me? Nothing. 679 00:46:49,323 --> 00:46:51,848 So, instead I look around here... 680 00:46:52,025 --> 00:46:55,256 ...and I write lists of everything that I really wanna do... 681 00:46:55,429 --> 00:46:58,296 ...and then I just randomly pick between them. It's beautiful. 682 00:46:58,465 --> 00:47:01,696 Frank, did you hear me? Susan will take you back. 683 00:47:01,869 --> 00:47:03,393 What are you doing? 684 00:47:03,570 --> 00:47:05,319 - There's no choice to be made. 685 00:47:05,419 --> 00:47:07,768 Exactly. This is what I'm talking about. 686 00:47:07,941 --> 00:47:09,966 Whim. Chance. 687 00:47:10,143 --> 00:47:13,271 I've decided to never decide another thing again. 688 00:47:15,616 --> 00:47:16,913 Hockey. 689 00:47:18,785 --> 00:47:19,809 And so it is. 690 00:47:26,894 --> 00:47:29,158 Frank, maybe I didn't make myself perfectly clear. 691 00:47:29,329 --> 00:47:31,024 I really think she'll take you back. 692 00:47:31,198 --> 00:47:32,501 Hey, she loves you, you know? 693 00:47:32,601 --> 00:47:34,463 And you obviously can't live without her. 694 00:47:34,635 --> 00:47:38,036 That's not true. I'm walking on sunshine out here, man. 695 00:47:38,205 --> 00:47:41,868 When you look at me, you look at a creature of freedom. A man released. 696 00:47:42,042 --> 00:47:45,409 Any chance this "creature of freedom" is really a monster of depression? 697 00:47:45,579 --> 00:47:46,671 No. 698 00:47:46,847 --> 00:47:50,146 Look, what you need, and I say this as your best friend, is a vacation. 699 00:47:50,317 --> 00:47:55,084 A bit of sun, a bit of relaxation, and a huge chunk of Prozac. 700 00:47:55,255 --> 00:47:57,155 - I like that. - Yeah? 701 00:47:57,324 --> 00:47:59,622 I like that idea. Watch this. 702 00:47:59,793 --> 00:48:01,351 Okay. 703 00:48:01,528 --> 00:48:03,155 "Prozac." 704 00:48:04,097 --> 00:48:06,998 "Streak ice." 705 00:48:09,536 --> 00:48:12,801 - And "become Slayers fan." - What are you doing? 706 00:48:12,973 --> 00:48:15,373 I'm gonna pick one. I'm gonna abide by the choice. 707 00:48:15,542 --> 00:48:17,407 - You know what that makes me? - A flake? 708 00:48:17,578 --> 00:48:18,738 - Free. - That's bullshit. 709 00:48:18,912 --> 00:48:22,678 You've been a Meteor since you were 6. You can't change who you are. 710 00:48:22,849 --> 00:48:24,840 - I can. - You can't. 711 00:48:25,018 --> 00:48:26,485 Okay, then. 712 00:48:26,653 --> 00:48:29,986 To do that, you'd have to be really twisted, man. Slayers? 713 00:48:30,157 --> 00:48:31,830 That's morally abhorrent. A man... 714 00:48:31,930 --> 00:48:33,957 who would do that is capable of anything. 715 00:48:34,127 --> 00:48:36,061 Exactly. 716 00:48:40,233 --> 00:48:42,219 Frank, if you're gonna go nuts, you should... 717 00:48:42,319 --> 00:48:44,260 at least have a god or a dog talking to you. 718 00:48:44,438 --> 00:48:47,430 Index cards? It's just not that sexy. 719 00:48:48,375 --> 00:48:51,003 You need help, man. You need to see a doctor. 720 00:48:51,178 --> 00:48:54,306 - I did. - You saw a shrink? 721 00:48:54,481 --> 00:48:55,948 No. 722 00:48:56,116 --> 00:48:58,175 No, not a shrink. 723 00:48:58,752 --> 00:49:02,244 If there's something wrong, you can talk to me, you know? 724 00:49:03,690 --> 00:49:05,749 Jesse's not my genetic daughter. 725 00:49:05,926 --> 00:49:08,087 - What? - Yeah. 726 00:49:08,261 --> 00:49:09,888 Yeah. I have Klinefelters Syndrome. 727 00:49:10,063 --> 00:49:11,496 - Kline-what? - Klinefelters. 728 00:49:11,665 --> 00:49:16,295 I was born with an extra X-chromosome. I've been sterile since birth. 729 00:49:16,470 --> 00:49:19,439 - Are they sure? I mean-- - Yeah. Yeah. 730 00:49:19,606 --> 00:49:22,507 It's impossible for me to be a father. 731 00:49:51,038 --> 00:49:52,665 I saw her. 732 00:49:52,839 --> 00:49:57,503 It was December 19. 733 00:49:58,078 --> 00:50:01,241 Oh, God. Oh, no. 734 00:50:13,393 --> 00:50:15,861 - Hey, Jesse. - Hi, Buddy. 735 00:50:16,029 --> 00:50:17,587 Jesse, how old are you? 736 00:50:17,764 --> 00:50:18,958 - Seven. - You're seven. 737 00:50:19,132 --> 00:50:21,532 Really? Now when's your birthday? 738 00:50:22,002 --> 00:50:25,165 - Today. - Today? Today's your birthday? 739 00:50:25,338 --> 00:50:27,602 You didn't get me a present, did you? 740 00:50:28,141 --> 00:50:31,668 Oh, jeez. Of course I did. 741 00:50:31,845 --> 00:50:34,780 I, uh, got you this watch. 742 00:50:35,382 --> 00:50:37,748 And be careful, it's a Rolex. 743 00:50:38,485 --> 00:50:41,113 - Is your mother inside? - Yeah. 744 00:50:51,565 --> 00:50:54,898 Susan, I found a man wandering aimlessly in the hallway looking for you. 745 00:50:55,068 --> 00:50:57,593 - Thanks, Peg. Goodbye, Peg. - And what a man he is. 746 00:50:58,538 --> 00:51:01,837 - Is today really Jesse's birthday? - No, it's in August. 747 00:51:02,008 --> 00:51:03,942 What about Frank? Is he all right? 748 00:51:04,811 --> 00:51:07,245 - Uh, yeah, Damon bailed him out. - Damon what? 749 00:51:07,414 --> 00:51:09,314 - Who was the third lover? - Who? 750 00:51:09,483 --> 00:51:12,008 You said I was one of three lovers. Frank would be two. 751 00:51:12,185 --> 00:51:14,449 - So there must have been a third. Who? - What? 752 00:51:14,654 --> 00:51:16,281 - Who was the third man? - Let me go. 753 00:51:16,456 --> 00:51:18,287 - No, not until you tell me. - You're crazy. 754 00:51:18,458 --> 00:51:20,483 - I want a name. Who was it? - Alan Zelf. 755 00:51:20,660 --> 00:51:24,596 - Alan Zelf. When? - When I worked at that burger joint. 756 00:51:24,765 --> 00:51:27,928 I was 17, we did it in the basement on top of a pile of buns, okay? 757 00:51:28,101 --> 00:51:30,194 What's gotten into you? 758 00:51:30,370 --> 00:51:31,598 Fatherhood. 759 00:51:45,619 --> 00:51:47,143 Time. 760 00:51:47,554 --> 00:51:49,283 Efficiency. 761 00:51:50,223 --> 00:51:52,453 Organizational skills. 762 00:51:55,695 --> 00:51:58,220 Do any of you really give a shit? 763 00:51:58,632 --> 00:52:01,692 You're here because your boss thinks... 764 00:52:01,868 --> 00:52:05,065 ...that if you keep your desk clear and your calendars streamlined... 765 00:52:05,238 --> 00:52:08,935 ...you'll sell a few more computers, and who knows, maybe he's right. 766 00:52:09,376 --> 00:52:12,243 But will that make you any happier? 767 00:52:12,412 --> 00:52:16,280 Will it prevent you from waking up one morning with an incurable disease? 768 00:52:16,449 --> 00:52:20,818 Will it stop your wife, Susan, from whoring around on you? 769 00:52:21,254 --> 00:52:24,087 Must've been that week before New Year's. 770 00:52:24,257 --> 00:52:26,122 At Teddy's party. 771 00:52:26,293 --> 00:52:30,161 I knew it was stupid. Even when we were doing it I knew it was stupid. 772 00:52:30,330 --> 00:52:32,662 Gee, thanks. That makes me feel so much better. 773 00:52:32,833 --> 00:52:34,801 - You could've used birth control. - I did. 774 00:52:34,968 --> 00:52:37,266 - I guess it wasn't completely effective. - Yeah, no kidding. 775 00:52:39,873 --> 00:52:40,897 I could die. 776 00:52:41,074 --> 00:52:43,770 Betrayed. Yeah, sure, we've been betrayed. 777 00:52:43,944 --> 00:52:46,572 By the assumptions of our own society. You stay in line. 778 00:52:46,746 --> 00:52:49,681 Keep your shoes shined. Hard work and devotion will be rewarded. 779 00:52:49,850 --> 00:52:52,978 Well, let me ask you something, is anyone here truly happy? 780 00:52:54,487 --> 00:52:55,749 If so... 781 00:52:56,056 --> 00:52:58,217 ...raise your happy hand. 782 00:52:59,893 --> 00:53:02,555 Then the decisions that you've made in your life are crap. 783 00:53:02,729 --> 00:53:04,856 You're a crappy person. Leading a crappy life. 784 00:53:05,031 --> 00:53:06,464 - Crappy, crappy, crappy. - No. 785 00:53:06,633 --> 00:53:08,726 Yeah. Crappy. 786 00:53:08,902 --> 00:53:12,201 Poor Frank, suddenly finding out he's not a father. 787 00:53:12,372 --> 00:53:15,569 Enough poor Frank. What about poor Buddy, suddenly finding out he is? 788 00:53:15,742 --> 00:53:17,369 - Poor Jesse. - Poor Jesse? 789 00:53:17,544 --> 00:53:19,569 - No father. - What am I? Chopped liver? 790 00:53:19,746 --> 00:53:20,838 You're a mistake! 791 00:53:21,014 --> 00:53:23,278 It could have been me you married eight years ago. 792 00:53:23,450 --> 00:53:25,350 It would've cramped your style. 793 00:53:26,119 --> 00:53:28,212 You don't think I crave stability? 794 00:53:28,388 --> 00:53:30,681 You don't think I haven't wanted a family, 795 00:53:30,781 --> 00:53:31,846 or desired intimacy? 796 00:53:33,460 --> 00:53:35,826 You don't think I've always loved you? 797 00:53:37,797 --> 00:53:38,889 No. 798 00:53:42,502 --> 00:53:44,129 Yes. Yes. No. No! 799 00:54:09,329 --> 00:54:11,229 Whim... 800 00:54:11,398 --> 00:54:12,990 ...not thought. 801 00:54:13,166 --> 00:54:14,997 Chance... 802 00:54:15,168 --> 00:54:17,033 ...not planning. 803 00:54:17,203 --> 00:54:20,331 You are where you are today because you've been comatose. 804 00:54:20,507 --> 00:54:23,408 You've all lacked passion! 805 00:54:26,846 --> 00:54:28,871 Act on those passions. 806 00:54:29,549 --> 00:54:31,676 Succumb to your whim. 807 00:54:31,851 --> 00:54:37,255 Forge a new being, goddamn it. Do something before it's too late! 808 00:54:42,495 --> 00:54:44,520 Say yes to whim! 809 00:54:44,698 --> 00:54:49,294 Say yes to chance! Say yes to chaos! 810 00:55:42,956 --> 00:55:45,948 Paula, right? 811 00:55:47,694 --> 00:55:53,189 Frank Allen. Are you still a, uh, time tamer? 812 00:55:53,366 --> 00:55:56,927 Are you still a home-wrecking bitch? 813 00:55:57,103 --> 00:55:59,128 Still gay? 814 00:56:04,677 --> 00:56:07,111 What's with the cards? 815 00:56:45,752 --> 00:56:47,447 What happened? 816 00:56:48,221 --> 00:56:50,883 What, you don't remember, beasty-boy? 817 00:56:51,057 --> 00:56:52,547 No. 818 00:56:52,725 --> 00:56:54,625 It was terrible. 819 00:56:55,462 --> 00:56:57,225 In a good way? 820 00:56:57,397 --> 00:57:01,163 You passed out halfway in, so to speak. 821 00:57:01,334 --> 00:57:03,598 Why is my pillow wet? 822 00:57:03,770 --> 00:57:07,069 You cried in your sleep for two-and-a-half hours. 823 00:57:07,240 --> 00:57:10,835 Whimpering like a little girl. 824 00:57:12,178 --> 00:57:15,238 It was like soft hotel-porn... 825 00:57:15,682 --> 00:57:18,708 ...unsatisfying and sad. 826 00:57:20,053 --> 00:57:22,783 - See you. - See you. 827 00:57:35,935 --> 00:57:37,732 Hey, it's me. 828 00:57:37,904 --> 00:57:40,464 I know this is the 33rd message I've left, 829 00:57:40,564 --> 00:57:42,068 but please call me, okay? 830 00:57:42,242 --> 00:57:44,210 I need to talk to you, Frank. 831 00:57:44,377 --> 00:57:46,004 Please. 832 00:57:47,113 --> 00:57:48,137 Bye. 833 00:57:55,421 --> 00:57:56,547 - Hello. - Hey. 834 00:57:56,723 --> 00:57:57,781 Here you go. 835 00:57:57,957 --> 00:58:00,357 - Thanks. - Have a good day. 836 00:58:52,812 --> 00:58:53,836 Susan? 837 00:58:54,013 --> 00:58:56,413 No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait! 838 00:59:08,661 --> 00:59:11,027 Stop. You have to stop following me. 839 00:59:11,197 --> 00:59:13,859 - And stop getting me flowers. - For chrissake, Susan. 840 00:59:14,033 --> 00:59:16,297 Cut me some slack. I'm trying to do what's right. 841 00:59:16,469 --> 00:59:18,225 - Okay. I'm trying to do what's not wrong. 842 00:59:18,325 --> 00:59:19,597 It's already been done. 843 00:59:19,772 --> 00:59:22,263 - But I love you, doesn't that count? - No. 844 00:59:22,442 --> 00:59:25,172 Don't play the martyr with me. You're not alone in this. 845 00:59:25,345 --> 00:59:29,304 - I'm just as smashed up as you are. - Then find your own hole to crawI into. 846 00:59:30,316 --> 00:59:33,285 Well, what about Jesse? I mean, she's ours. 847 00:59:36,522 --> 00:59:38,717 Jesse has nothing to do with you. 848 00:59:38,891 --> 00:59:40,415 She hates me, doesn't she? 849 00:59:40,593 --> 00:59:43,391 She doesn't know you well enough to hate you. 850 00:59:43,563 --> 00:59:45,895 So if she knew me, then she'd hate me? 851 00:59:48,468 --> 00:59:50,163 Buddy, what do you want? 852 00:59:55,375 --> 00:59:57,252 My whole life people have been telling me 853 00:59:57,352 --> 00:59:58,242 I'm not responsible. 854 00:59:58,811 --> 01:00:00,904 I'm not, you know? I haven't wanted to be. 855 01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:03,105 But this is different. 856 01:00:04,183 --> 01:00:06,947 I just desperately wanna do what's right. 857 01:00:14,294 --> 01:00:16,125 What is right? 858 01:01:26,733 --> 01:01:28,166 Hi. 859 01:01:29,936 --> 01:01:32,097 Oh, God. I'm so-- 860 01:01:33,039 --> 01:01:34,404 I'm-- 861 01:01:35,742 --> 01:01:36,970 I'm sorry, Frank. 862 01:01:40,847 --> 01:01:42,474 You know? 863 01:01:43,216 --> 01:01:44,877 Yeah. 864 01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:49,381 Why didn't you tell me? 865 01:01:49,722 --> 01:01:52,088 It's hard to talk with a knife in your back, Susan. 866 01:01:52,258 --> 01:01:55,284 No, come on, it wasn't like that. 867 01:01:56,095 --> 01:01:58,530 It had to have happened before New Year's, 868 01:01:58,630 --> 01:02:00,532 after that night it was only you. 869 01:02:03,603 --> 01:02:07,232 - No double-life? - No, sweetie, no. Never. 870 01:02:10,376 --> 01:02:11,968 Do you know whose it is? 871 01:02:13,045 --> 01:02:17,982 - She's not an "it," she's Jesse. - Do you know, Susan? 872 01:02:21,821 --> 01:02:23,186 Yes. 873 01:02:23,356 --> 01:02:25,688 She's yours, Frank. She's-- 874 01:02:26,259 --> 01:02:29,353 Maybe not medically... 875 01:02:29,529 --> 01:02:32,355 ...but in all other ways she's your daughter. 876 01:02:32,455 --> 01:02:33,556 You're her father. 877 01:02:35,601 --> 01:02:39,059 Whose is she? Whose is she, Susan? 878 01:02:39,238 --> 01:02:42,264 She's yours. She's yours. 879 01:02:42,442 --> 01:02:46,378 She's yours. She's yours because.... 880 01:02:46,879 --> 01:02:48,986 Because when she had strep throat... 881 01:02:49,086 --> 01:02:51,612 you held her through three nights of fever. 882 01:02:51,784 --> 01:02:54,753 Yours because her first word was "Dad." 883 01:02:54,921 --> 01:02:57,890 Because how scared you got when you thought you lost her... 884 01:02:58,057 --> 01:03:01,254 ...in the mall for 40 seconds. 885 01:03:01,427 --> 01:03:04,294 Because of how happy you feel every time you open your eyes... 886 01:03:04,464 --> 01:03:06,830 ...and she's standing there looking at you. 887 01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:11,730 She loves you, Frank. You love her. This is-- 888 01:03:11,904 --> 01:03:15,465 This is our home. It's our family. Come on, Frank. 889 01:03:15,641 --> 01:03:17,438 Mommy. 890 01:03:19,679 --> 01:03:21,010 Mommy. 891 01:03:21,180 --> 01:03:23,080 I'm coming. 892 01:03:28,921 --> 01:03:31,412 I'll be two seconds, okay? 893 01:03:31,591 --> 01:03:33,388 Yeah. 894 01:04:03,890 --> 01:04:08,725 - What is it, honey? - I had a bad dream. 895 01:04:12,632 --> 01:04:14,896 Go back to sleep, okay? 896 01:04:16,235 --> 01:04:18,169 Try to go back to sleep. 897 01:05:01,781 --> 01:05:03,442 Frank? 898 01:05:14,060 --> 01:05:15,550 Shit. 899 01:06:22,328 --> 01:06:26,560 - Can I help you? - I'd like a weapon, a gun, preferably. 900 01:06:26,732 --> 01:06:28,632 I need to shoot something tonight. 901 01:06:30,569 --> 01:06:33,003 There's a three-day waiting period on all handguns... 902 01:06:33,172 --> 01:06:36,073 ...but I can sell you a shotgun, or a rifle, today. 903 01:06:36,242 --> 01:06:37,573 I'll take one. 904 01:06:37,743 --> 01:06:39,005 Great. What type? 905 01:06:40,279 --> 01:06:42,645 - Uh.... - What are you using it for? 906 01:06:44,150 --> 01:06:46,550 - Hunting. - Hunting. 907 01:06:46,719 --> 01:06:47,777 What are you hunting? 908 01:06:47,953 --> 01:06:50,046 - Uh, duck. - Duck? 909 01:06:50,222 --> 01:06:53,191 Yes. A huge duck. 910 01:06:54,660 --> 01:06:56,025 Are you using a blind? 911 01:06:57,563 --> 01:06:59,121 No. Uh.... 912 01:06:59,298 --> 01:07:01,357 No. I'd like to do this face to face. 913 01:07:03,469 --> 01:07:06,233 This would be a solid choice for you, sir. 914 01:07:20,619 --> 01:07:22,177 - Hello? - Hey, it's Damon. 915 01:07:22,354 --> 01:07:23,378 Oh, hey. What's up? 916 01:07:23,556 --> 01:07:26,650 Listen, Frank came by and picked up the key to the boathouse. 917 01:07:26,826 --> 01:07:29,852 He was, uh, acting really weird. I almost didn't give it to him. 918 01:07:30,029 --> 01:07:32,224 He said he found a faster way than cigarettes... 919 01:07:32,398 --> 01:07:34,525 ...and that maybe you should meet him up there? 920 01:07:34,700 --> 01:07:36,964 I'm a little worried. Maybe I should go with you. 921 01:07:37,136 --> 01:07:39,331 No, I'll take care of it. Thanks, Damon. 922 01:07:42,942 --> 01:07:44,307 It's Buddy. 923 01:07:44,477 --> 01:07:47,742 I think Frank might've gone up to the lake to try something rash. 924 01:07:47,913 --> 01:07:51,246 I'm just gonna make sure he's all right. I'll call you when I get there. 925 01:08:12,805 --> 01:08:14,670 That's amazing. 926 01:08:15,641 --> 01:08:18,405 I was just gonna call you, and lo and behold, here you are. 927 01:08:18,611 --> 01:08:21,079 Well, Damon told me you came up. 928 01:08:21,614 --> 01:08:24,947 I thought maybe you could use a friend, you know? Someone to talk to. 929 01:08:25,117 --> 01:08:27,142 Anything on your mind? 930 01:08:27,319 --> 01:08:31,517 This thin mountain air can give people strange ideas, you know? 931 01:08:31,891 --> 01:08:35,918 Ain't that the truth. No, nothing I can think of off the top of my head. 932 01:08:36,796 --> 01:08:37,888 How about you? 933 01:08:38,564 --> 01:08:40,930 - Me? - Anything you wanna tell me? 934 01:08:41,100 --> 01:08:43,068 Not really, no. 935 01:08:47,907 --> 01:08:49,204 Let's go for a boat ride. 936 01:08:57,583 --> 01:08:59,481 So you finished with all those index cards? 937 01:08:59,581 --> 01:09:00,211 Has whim waned? 938 01:09:00,986 --> 01:09:02,877 Hell, no. 939 01:09:03,055 --> 01:09:05,922 It was in the cards to come up here and accomplish something. 940 01:09:06,091 --> 01:09:08,753 - What sort of something? - Something big. 941 01:09:08,928 --> 01:09:12,193 - How big? - Oh. Biggest thing in my life. 942 01:09:12,398 --> 01:09:14,127 Is the keyword here "life"? 943 01:09:15,234 --> 01:09:19,603 - Could be. Definitely could be. - You don't wanna do anything drastic. 944 01:09:19,805 --> 01:09:21,363 Don't I? 945 01:09:21,540 --> 01:09:24,134 I mean, something you can't take back, you know? Final. 946 01:09:24,310 --> 01:09:26,369 Oh, you mean something I'll regret. 947 01:09:27,513 --> 01:09:31,040 You have to think of those who love you. I mean, think of your friends. 948 01:09:31,584 --> 01:09:34,610 - Why my friends? - Because your actions affect them. 949 01:09:35,754 --> 01:09:38,188 Oh, I'll give you that. Yeah. 950 01:09:38,357 --> 01:09:41,258 One should always think of one's friends before considering... 951 01:09:41,627 --> 01:09:43,026 ...certain things. 952 01:09:43,195 --> 01:09:44,685 That's profound of you, Buddy. 953 01:09:44,864 --> 01:09:48,129 I suppose that "certain things" would test the limit of our friendship. 954 01:09:48,300 --> 01:09:49,927 - Wouldn't you think? - Exactly. 955 01:09:50,102 --> 01:09:51,797 Exactly. 956 01:09:52,805 --> 01:09:55,330 - Aren't we getting out a little far? - Yeah, Buddy. 957 01:09:55,507 --> 01:09:57,668 We're getting out a little far. 958 01:10:00,279 --> 01:10:03,373 Frank? Buddy? 959 01:10:06,285 --> 01:10:08,150 What the hell are we doing here, Frank? 960 01:10:08,320 --> 01:10:11,289 - I think you know. - I won't let you. 961 01:10:11,457 --> 01:10:14,790 Yeah? Well, why don't you try and stop me. Go ahead. 962 01:10:14,994 --> 01:10:17,121 - Where the hell did you get that? - Who cares? 963 01:10:17,296 --> 01:10:19,628 - I'm not shooting blanks this time. - Put it down. 964 01:10:19,798 --> 01:10:22,665 - We can talk about this, can't we? - Let's just cut the shit. 965 01:10:22,835 --> 01:10:26,703 - Don't start whimpering now. - Whimpering? Hey, it's your decision. 966 01:10:27,006 --> 01:10:30,669 - Oh, that's generous of you. - It doesn't mean I agree with it. 967 01:10:30,976 --> 01:10:33,001 Well, I would hope not! 968 01:10:33,178 --> 01:10:35,703 Look, you can't do this to me, or you, I won't let you. 969 01:10:35,881 --> 01:10:38,850 - You're gonna have to shoot me first. - There's a hell of an argument. 970 01:10:39,018 --> 01:10:40,042 Give me that. 971 01:10:46,025 --> 01:10:47,356 Come on. 972 01:10:47,559 --> 01:10:49,959 Shooting me first was just a figure of speech. 973 01:10:50,129 --> 01:10:52,529 Oh, shit. Oh, that went all the way through. 974 01:10:53,065 --> 01:10:56,330 I don't think it's smart to put holes in things that sink or breathe. 975 01:10:56,502 --> 01:10:59,403 But you're the one with the gun. I can appreciate that. 976 01:10:59,571 --> 01:11:02,472 - Are you looking for something? - A lifejacket. 977 01:11:04,910 --> 01:11:07,242 Son of a bitch! 978 01:11:08,781 --> 01:11:10,180 Frank! 979 01:11:10,649 --> 01:11:14,710 Frank! Frank, what the hell is going on? 980 01:11:14,920 --> 01:11:15,944 Frank! 981 01:11:17,656 --> 01:11:19,783 They're just dancing, Mommy. 982 01:11:19,959 --> 01:11:21,688 Give me that. 983 01:11:24,863 --> 01:11:26,353 We gotta get help, come on. 984 01:11:31,737 --> 01:11:34,934 There! Go ahead, commit suicide now! 985 01:11:35,674 --> 01:11:38,905 Suicide? You think I'm trying to commit suicide? 986 01:11:39,078 --> 01:11:42,275 - Yeah. - You impossibly stupid man. 987 01:11:42,448 --> 01:11:46,976 You philandering, dumba-- Murder! 988 01:11:47,519 --> 01:11:50,716 I'm trying to commit murder! You idiot! 989 01:11:55,394 --> 01:11:57,419 Yeah, yeah, a boat. Um.... 990 01:11:58,063 --> 01:11:59,826 I-- I don't know. 991 01:11:59,999 --> 01:12:04,129 Yeah, I heard a rifle shot. You need to get out here, now, okay? 992 01:12:04,303 --> 01:12:06,828 Yeah. Yeah, okay. 993 01:12:07,539 --> 01:12:10,243 Sweetie, I need you to stay in the cabin, okay? 994 01:12:10,743 --> 01:12:11,703 Just stay here. 995 01:13:00,993 --> 01:13:03,434 Yeah, don't worry, you still have a chance to freeze to death. 996 01:13:04,263 --> 01:13:06,788 No, I wanna kill you! 997 01:13:10,569 --> 01:13:14,471 Well, if I knew what you obviously know, I'd wanna kill me too. 998 01:13:16,608 --> 01:13:19,873 That's understanding of you. 999 01:13:23,015 --> 01:13:24,277 I'm sorry. 1000 01:13:24,450 --> 01:13:26,748 Fuck you. 1001 01:13:39,998 --> 01:13:43,024 Mrs. Allen, you best wait inside. 1002 01:13:43,202 --> 01:13:44,567 Have you found them yet? 1003 01:13:44,736 --> 01:13:48,729 When I know something, you'll know something. Please, wait inside. 1004 01:13:57,015 --> 01:13:59,916 Do you even know where the hell we're going? 1005 01:14:00,085 --> 01:14:02,053 There's a footbridge up ahead. 1006 01:14:02,221 --> 01:14:04,849 The cabin's a mile from that. 1007 01:14:39,825 --> 01:14:41,918 They're searching for us. 1008 01:14:42,461 --> 01:14:45,794 - How do they know we're here? - I told Susan. 1009 01:14:49,902 --> 01:14:51,733 Do you love her? 1010 01:14:54,573 --> 01:14:56,473 Does it matter? 1011 01:14:58,343 --> 01:15:00,208 And Jesse? 1012 01:15:04,049 --> 01:15:05,846 She's just a kid. 1013 01:15:06,018 --> 01:15:08,213 What does that mean, Buddy? 1014 01:15:10,255 --> 01:15:12,485 I hardly know her. 1015 01:15:18,730 --> 01:15:20,664 What now? 1016 01:15:25,103 --> 01:15:28,300 I just, I thought if I did everything... 1017 01:15:28,473 --> 01:15:31,271 ...for the now, that I could forget the past... 1018 01:15:31,443 --> 01:15:34,207 ...and the past is who I am. 1019 01:15:35,447 --> 01:15:38,507 And I just, I don't-- I-- 1020 01:15:38,951 --> 01:15:42,944 How am I supposed to go back to Susan if I don't know how to forgive her? 1021 01:15:46,558 --> 01:15:47,021 Look. 1022 01:15:51,363 --> 01:15:55,197 I'm gonna disappear. Just, look, tell them that you lost me, okay? 1023 01:15:55,601 --> 01:15:58,161 No, Frank. No, I won't. 1024 01:15:58,337 --> 01:16:00,464 - Yeah. You owe me that! - No. 1025 01:16:00,639 --> 01:16:03,665 Owe you? I don't owe you anything! 1026 01:16:04,776 --> 01:16:08,405 And you know what? You're a freaking idiot! 1027 01:16:11,350 --> 01:16:14,046 I wish Susan had picked me. 1028 01:16:14,586 --> 01:16:16,315 I wish Susan loved me. 1029 01:16:16,688 --> 01:16:19,657 I wish Jesse thought of me as her father. 1030 01:16:20,225 --> 01:16:22,659 But all they do is love you. 1031 01:16:25,797 --> 01:16:27,958 God, I even love you. 1032 01:16:29,368 --> 01:16:31,958 I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm past feeling sad... 1033 01:16:32,058 --> 01:16:33,270 for anyone but myself. 1034 01:16:33,438 --> 01:16:38,102 So you know, stay out here if you want. Become one with nature, go hump Bigfoot. 1035 01:16:38,277 --> 01:16:41,405 But I'm going back into the cabin and getting warm. 1036 01:16:43,548 --> 01:16:45,072 God. 1037 01:17:28,260 --> 01:17:30,455 I think we got one over here. 1038 01:17:31,163 --> 01:17:33,154 Somebody get a blanket! 1039 01:17:53,885 --> 01:17:55,216 Where's Mr. Allen? 1040 01:17:58,824 --> 01:18:00,189 It's complicated. 1041 01:19:36,121 --> 01:19:37,611 Daddy! 1042 01:19:42,461 --> 01:19:44,122 Daddy! 1043 01:20:16,161 --> 01:20:18,994 You ever hear of chaos theory, Ed? 1044 01:20:19,164 --> 01:20:20,461 It's a science. 1045 01:20:21,333 --> 01:20:23,225 It tries to determine underlying patterns... 1046 01:20:23,325 --> 01:20:24,325 in chaotic systems: 1047 01:20:24,503 --> 01:20:28,337 Weather, ocean currents, blood flow, that sort of thing. 1048 01:20:28,507 --> 01:20:31,601 Well, it turns out that there are few things... 1049 01:20:31,776 --> 01:20:35,177 ...more chaotic than the beat of a human heart. 1050 01:20:35,347 --> 01:20:40,284 Speeding up, slowing down. A pretty face, a flight of stairs. 1051 01:20:40,452 --> 01:20:43,751 It's always changing depending on what's happening to us out there. 1052 01:20:43,922 --> 01:20:46,482 It's an erratic son of a bitch. 1053 01:20:47,158 --> 01:20:49,687 But underneath all of that bump-a-ta-bump... 1054 01:20:49,787 --> 01:20:51,788 mess, there is, in fact, a pattern. 1055 01:20:51,963 --> 01:20:53,760 A truth. 1056 01:20:53,932 --> 01:20:55,593 And it's love. 1057 01:20:56,134 --> 01:21:00,036 The most important thing about love is that we choose to give it... 1058 01:21:00,205 --> 01:21:02,730 ...and we choose to receive it. 1059 01:21:03,275 --> 01:21:06,870 Making it the least random act in the entire universe. 1060 01:21:07,045 --> 01:21:09,946 It transcends blood, it transcends betrayal... 1061 01:21:10,115 --> 01:21:13,141 ...and all the dirt that makes us human. 1062 01:21:14,286 --> 01:21:16,880 And if you can figure that out... 1063 01:21:17,055 --> 01:21:19,888 ...the Jake Lees of the world got nothing on you. 1064 01:21:20,058 --> 01:21:21,616 Now, what's all this about? 1065 01:21:21,793 --> 01:21:22,953 Uh-oh. 1066 01:21:23,128 --> 01:21:26,188 Poor Ed, has Frank been torturing you with tales of love and war? 1067 01:21:26,364 --> 01:21:28,958 - Well, yes, ma'am. - You're gonna be late. 1068 01:21:29,200 --> 01:21:31,293 I'll see you in there. 1069 01:21:35,540 --> 01:21:36,632 Thanks. 1070 01:21:41,446 --> 01:21:43,971 - Have you been bad? - No. 1071 01:21:48,787 --> 01:21:50,254 A little bit. 1072 01:21:51,456 --> 01:21:54,550 Come on, let's go. Monster, we're gonna be late. 1073 01:22:09,207 --> 01:22:12,836 - You're beautiful. - I'm nervous, Daddy. 1074 01:22:13,011 --> 01:22:14,376 Jake loves you very much. 1075 01:22:14,546 --> 01:22:17,447 - Ed. - He loves you too, honey. 1076 01:22:48,413 --> 01:22:52,042 Friends, we have been invited here today... 1077 01:22:52,217 --> 01:22:56,620 ...to share in a most important moment in the lives for Edward and Jessica. 1078 01:22:56,788 --> 01:22:59,086 In the time they've been together.... 1079 01:27:18,883 --> 01:27:20,874 [edited by rogard]